You know what is really frustrating?

Living/being with someone your parents and some family members hate. He never did anything to have them think this way except love me and not be put down by people he doesn't know, and who don't know him. It's so fucking hard to maintain a relationship without there being petty bullshit going on. Of course it's inevitable that there's going to be times it's brought up and it'll be 'uneasy', but it's not fair that I'm stuck in the middle of this shit and everyone's looking for me to be on their side, or say the right thing. I have to divide my time up and try not to talk about the other one while I'm in the presence of them, because it's pointless.

This is bullshit.

John's family is nice to me and whenever we're over, they treat me like I'm part of the family. My friends ask about me/John or when I'm going out with them invite him. Tina and Danny are fine with it and see it for what it is: me being in a relationship with someone. It's my family that is making it hard. And that fucking sucks.

current mood: exhausted

The post office 'test' was simple. But, the part that sucks is you could only choose 3 loations to apply for... so I just opted for the 3 closest to me, even though I doubt there will be any openings: Royersford, Spring City, & Phoenixville.

The first section was a total of like 93 questions... the lady said "I know you won't be able to finish them all". I got up to 82ish. I looked at the dude next to me: #12. Ouch.

John's sleeping right now. He looks so cute... my camera is in my car damnit.  Too bad the digital camera sucks... we need a real one. The options available on it are cool, but it's the quality of the picture that sucks.

Last week we were in Burger King, and the one guy there called John over and was like "you look like Brad Pitt". He used to tell me people said that to him before, but now I actually witnessed it! I couldn't help but laugh. I think it's his eyes, jawline, and lips mainly. Mm-hmm, sexy.

current mood: chipper

Matt has my MAC card.

My wisdom teeth are annoying me.

My nipples are hard.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

All that aside... I miss John. Damn love... I feel like such a girl.

current mood: weird

Ok, so now onto a real post... the one before was just thoughts.

The post office finally sent me the date/time for the placement test. I'm excited. I also put a resume on Monster.com and had 2 replies so far. Some job offers are starting at $30,000/yr and go up to $60,000. I'm like damn.. I never seen those numbers before. I made $12,345 last year.. I thought that was cool.. 12345. I should get a bonus or something.

2 months until mine & John's 2 year anniversary. We count from our first date, including the time we were separated.. so it's gonna be 2 years in July. Hmm, I didn't think until just now.. what am I gonna do for him? We didn't "celebrate" our 1 year because I was planning his murder.. long story... well, he got my name tattooed around then, but I guess I'll do something this year. I have his inititals on my left forearm[carved], but he wants his name on me. I think just the initials look better:

JKS     John Kennedy Smith    

He's so cute when he's sitting there coming up with what he wants along with his name on me. Like, he said he wanted a bumblebee next to it. I said "ok little girl". He just gets all hyped up and shit. He's funny. 

current mood: bouncy

John got me a new ring, another amethyst. This one's shaped like a heart with diamonds on both sides, and the band is swirled. I like it. Now at least people won't be asking me if this one is an engagement ring.

I love him so much. He's so good to me.

I'm off to make salad.

current mood: relaxed

My hair is yellow/pale green. Hmm... not what I wanted.

Tomorrow me and John are going to see Taking Lives. Mmm, Angelina. Also, I'm making him dye my hair for me. I'm guessing it's gonna have to be a darker brown to cover the color that's still on there since that shit I paid $20 for didn't do its fucking job.

Sunday, I'm going to see my mom for her birthday... should be interesting. Gonna be a tense environment boy.

Ria finally met John. I haven't talked to her since then though, so I didn't get to hear all the "he's so old!" comments. Hahahaa

John confronted the pervert at work. He denied everything. Then he went and cried to Pete.. John's not allowed in the building anymore. I didn't take any of the shit that's hapened to management or home office, but after that, now I am. I went on the R&L website, but it didn't have the e-mail address I need. Oh, the anticipation of the aftermath of that e-mail...

current mood: drained

Me and John are text-fighting. Why do guys have to be so intolerable? Let's see... 5 pm today we were great. He was being all sweet and sending me messages that makes me want to leave work just to go be with him. Then we talk on the phone and I get to hear his voice which makes me miss him even more.

I'm guessing between 6:45-7, shit started. It began with jobs, then as usual, he turns it into something that has happened in the past, and tries to correlate the two. Which fucking pisses me off because it's like he waits on the chance to use it against me, even if it's nowhere near what's going on.

Asshole.

Then, after he throws a text-message temper tantrum, his phone conveniently goes to voicemail every time I call.

He claims it died.               Yeeaaahhh. Believable.

current mood: bitchy

John just left for work... damnit. All by myself. He's only gonna be gone for about 2 hours now, but it still sucks.

Haven't taken the hair dye out yet and apparently I don't read because the box says it won't restore it to its natural color. Which means it's gonna look even worse than I thought. So, I have to get some real hair dye. That's the extent of my events today.

Off to do nothing.

current mood: lonely

Updates

Finally taking out the blue hair dye this weekend... the box on the color remover says it will return to the natural shade. I doubt that's gonna happen. I've warned everyone ahead of time... 'if you see me wearing hats, you know why.'

John hates my birds... that's ok, I do too. It's kinda funny though, I'll be sitting there and all of a sudden he'll be like 'shut up, bird'(note: there's 2 birds)... It makes me laugh typing it because of the way he says it... shut up, bird.

All moved in here. A definite change. There's still random things left in my room at the house.. like the stereo I'm gonna sell. Danny and Tina have already gone through it all. Last I heard, my mom locked the door and already started storing shit in there..

current mood: hyper