My earlier post Dubya’s poker playing days at Harvard’s B School should be reviewed.
Below is a visual representation of the cards as they should be seen:
Patio Pundit is maintaining the current Iraq cards checklist.
Here’s a zoom of the Kerry card. You can’t spell John Kerry without J-O-K-E-R.
Aside from subsidizing CNN, Ted Turner, Time-Warner and Yasser Arafat’s pool boy, I’ve hated AOL from the get-go. How’s THIS for karma:
Pair Nailed In AOL Spam Scheme
Arrested in theft of firm’s 30 million subscriber list
JUNE 23–An AOL software engineer was arrested today for stealing the company’s entire subscriber list–totaling 92 million screen names–and selling it to a 21-year-old Las Vegas spammer. According to the below federal criminal complaint, Jason Smathers, 24, last year illegally accessed the highly confidential AOL list by using another employee’s identification codes. Smathers, who worked in AOL’s Dulles, Virginia office, then allegedly sold the list to Sean Dunaway, who used the AOL database to promote his own online gambling business and who also sold the list for $52,000 to fellow spammers, one of whom used the names “for purposes of marketing herbal penile enlargement pills,” according to the complaint. AOL’s subscriber base is about 30 million individual customers, who account for 92 million different screen names. Prosecutors also contend that Smathers subsequently sold Hathaway an updated AOL customer list–this one with approximately 18 million names–for $100,000. Both men have been charged with conspiracy, which carries a maximum prison sentence of five years. The Secret Service probe was aided by a spammer who purchased the two lists from Dunaway and is now seeking “leniency concerning his/her participation” in the AOL conspiracy, notes the complaint. (13 pages)
Click the link to get the images of the complaint.
WoW (Watchers of Weasels) ARTICLE PICKS: 5/27/04 - 6/17/04
The Watcher’s Council is a Star Chamber of 13 top bloggers who write, review and vote on the cream of the weekly blogosphere, creating a weekly must-read list. You want to know what the Weasels are doing? We find ‘em, trap ‘em, skin ‘em, eviscerate ‘em and display them for your viewing pleasure.
Wow, what a backlog. I’ve been very remiss. Moreso, I’ve been swamped around the deadlines when I handle my Watcher’s Council responsibilities.
Anyway, these are the articles that the Watchers deem what’s best for you. Read ‘em and tattoo ‘em to your forehead if you know what’s good for you.
Council:
Non-Council:
Council:
Non-Council:
Council:
Non-Council:
Council:
Non-Council:
Click the button on the side to learn more about the Watchers of Weasels and its Watchers Council. 
For a map, directions, parking information, and all the “last minute” details, please see http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1157050/posts
My wife and kids went with my mother-in-law on vacation last night. That means “guy movie rental night”. I overcame my wretch reflex for Tarantino’s sphincter-licking politics and got Kill Bill 1.
I confess loving when bad guys get their due and this was a great movie for that. I’d have cut some of the dialogue in the kitchen scene but everything else was sufficiently cartoonish to be amusing with the violence so over-the-top that it was funnier rather than gag-inducing.
Now someone please explain to me why people think Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu are attractive–Daryl Hannah needs to get her estrogen checked. They do not pass the tichel test. (Yes they have great bods, but take away hair and makup, these are not great faces.) Vivica Fox and the woman who played Go-Go are hotter as were the ladies in the Japanese chick band. Bottom line… I’m looking forward to renting Kill Bill 2.
I also got X-Men 2. I was an X-Men fan since before the new characters were added in the early-mid 1970’s. It’s a very well done series so far and has real longterm franchise potential if the ensemble doesn’t do something stupid. The casting of Xavier and Magneto are perfect. I don’t much like Cyclops. Jackman as Wolverine works as well as the first only great Batman movie with Keaton–they’ve got the intensity down, but both need a little more bulking up to be 100% physically convincing. Playing Superman was easier for Christopher Reed since he didn’t have to have human musculature to play strong. Anyway, I hope there are more like X2 in the works. I saw LOTS of good plot hooks on which to hang the next movies. It’s a great idea to introduce n0 more than one villain and one new X-man per movie to ensure plot development instead of turning the franchise into the abortion that the Batman series became.
This week’s Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ featured a multitude of fine captions, but my plagiarism from the I Ching of the ultimate guy films won out. The winning captions for this picture:
And now is when I do my Church Lady “superior dance”.
Here is my first winning caption.
Another good list of guy films.
I’m only linking to chick flicks because guys should know that renting one counts as foreplay. Though if you have to choose, The Princess Bride isn’t bad. You get Inigo Montoya and Andre the Giant. A couple of good ones that they left off this list are The Butcher’s Wife and a pair with Dennis Quaid: The Big Easy and The Rookie (an excellent compromise!). My wife will NEVER understand nor forgive Meg Ryan for dumping DQ.
I remember hearing radio host and writer Tammy Bruce, gun-toting lesbian ex leader of the Los Angeles branch of the National Organization of Women joke about lamenting that women can vote at the national level because they seem to be more emotional than rational. She wasn’t serious, but…
Steve over at Hog On Ice once posited that women vote for the candidate they’d most like to sleep with. There’s much in that. (Look for Andrea Harris’ comments in that post.) Go listen to the 1960 radio debates (JFK was far to the right of Dubya on foreign policy and taxes, despite contemporary liberal myths about our first priapic presidency) between Nixon and Kennedy and switch their faces and there’s no question Nixon would have won.
There’s a case for having men vote for President, women vote for Representatives and both vote for Senators. On the other hand, since I loathe the notion of people being allowed to vote to seize the assets of others, some way of proportionately divvying up votes among those who are footing the bill seems in order. Of course… high wage earners can always move to states smart enough to have no income taxes. Which begs the question… why the hell do I still live in Taxifornia?
Here’s a blank.
As with all my DIY suggestions, post your rendition on your blog with a link to my post and I’ll always link back. If you just want to put in text, put it in my comments.
Hey… now go see tedrall.isfullofcrap.com for more great stuff!
Oh yeah…
This is a parody. Its creation was undertaken with the understanding that it falls within the guidelines of fair use for “criticism and commentary,” under 17 U.S.C. section 107.
The Pastiche of a Presidency, Imitating a Life, in 957 Pages
By MICHIKO KAKUTANI
Published: June 20, 2004As his celebrated 1993 speech in Memphis to the Church of God in Christ demonstrated, former President Bill Clinton is capable of soaring eloquence and visionary thinking. But as those who heard his deadening speech nominating Michael Dukakis at the 1988 Democratic National Convention in Atlanta well know, he is also capable of numbing, self-conscious garrulity.
Unfortunately for the reader, Mr. Clinton’s much awaited new autobiography “My Life” more closely resembles the Atlanta speech, which was so long-winded and tedious that the crowd cheered when he finally reached the words “In closing . . .”
The book, which weighs in at more than 950 pages, is sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull — the sound of one man prattling away, not for the reader, but for himself and some distant recording angel of history.
In many ways, the book is a mirror of Mr. Clinton’s presidency: lack of discipline leading to squandered opportunities; high expectations, undermined by self-indulgence and scattered concentration.
Trust me, after the boomers die off, Clinton will be seen by historians as not even mediocre.
I’ve often likened Clinton to the baseball player Darryl Strawberry. Except that Strawberry actually sparked the Mets to a World Series title. If not for the mirage of the Internet hysteria and it’s economic bubble, name me some real Clinton accomplishments. Name a single foreign policy success. Name a domestic policy success that people will even be able to remember a decade from now.
Some question for New Jerseyans to ask their Muslim neighbors: What is a dhimmi? Would you impose sharia law on me and my family now or EVER, given the opportunity? Why won’t Muslims take arms against their brethren to stop this increasing desecration of Allah’s name, if, in fact, it is a desecration? Why do devout Muslim nations prohibit women from driving, voting or travelling abroad? Why are slavery and female genital mutilation more common in the Muslim world than anywhere else on the planet? Is Islam better practiced in freedom, as in the US, or under duress, as in Muslim countries? Can you provide a list of Muslim contributions to humanity from the last 5 centuries–heck, make it 10.
NY Times:
After Beheading, Rising Anger in New Jersey
By JASON GEORGE and MARC SANTORAPublished: June 20, 2004
LITTLE EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP, N.J., June 19 — There are the flowers and the crosses, the notes and the photographs and all the other signs of sympathy and grieving that one would expect to find at an impromptu shrine devoted to someone murdered in a most cruel fashion.
But one day after graphic photographs of the body of Paul M. Johnson Jr., beheaded by Islamic extremists, were beamed around the world, a new sign appeared in the yard next to the house of Mr. Johnson’s sister in Little Egg Harbor Township.
“Last night my heart was filled with love and prayers, but today it is filled with hatred. Last night I was not a racist, but today I feel racism toward Islamic beliefs,” the sign said. “Last night Islamics had a chance to speak up for Paul Johnson, but today it was too late,” it also said. “Today Islamics better wake up and start thinking about tomorrow.”
The sentiment reflected in the sign was not shared by everyone in the southern New Jersey community where Mr. Johnson had grown up, but it was shared by several people interviewed over the past few days.
Muslim officials around the state, and the world, were quick to condemn the killing and offer their sympathy to Mr. Johnson’s family.
A week ago, when Mr. Johnson was kidnapped in Saudi Arabia, where he worked as an engineer for Lockheed Martin, there was a great deal of hope among friends that everything would work out.
On Tuesday, when the terrorists put out a video saying they would execute Mr. Johnson in 72 hours if their demands were not met, the situation took on added urgency and people turned to prayer.
About 100 friends gathered Thursday night for a candlelight vigil. Friday they found out that their prayers had not been answered.
“A lot of people are angry, a lot of people are sad and a lot of people are hurt,” said Dennis C. Seeley Jr., a chaplain for the Eagleswood Fire Company. Mr. Seeley, who helped organize the vigil, had the same exhausted look as others in the town.
John Hayes, a childhood friend of Mr. Johnson’s, said: “I just can’t believe it. I didn’t think it was going to come to this.” Mr. Hayes said he was sad for Mr. Johnson’s son, Paul III, and his grandson, Paul IV, who live in Florida.
Mr. Johnson’s family spent most of their time in private, grieving.
Joseph Billy Jr., an F.B.I. agent who spoke on the family’s behalf, said, “They knew that the odds were not in the favor of law enforcement.” He thanked the Saudi and American governments and said, “Paul considered Saudi Arabia his home.”
Some neighbors did not hide their anger, saying privately that blood should be met with blood.
Khalid Masood Butt, 51, president of the Pakistani American Muslim Organization of South Jersey, said, “This is understandable as the people react and they are under the influence of emotions.” He said he wanted to offer the family support. “But I wondered about how I would be received. Now I feel I should have done it. As an American, as a Muslim, it is my duty to give them the concepts of being a Muslim.”
What concepts?
Maybe, just maybe, this will motivate New Jersey to jettison their Dhimmi-like allegiance to the Dhimmicratic party.
It’s not a “War on Terror”, folks. Their Koran doesn’t have ANY pluralistic tolerance for us.
This is Rantblogger week and I’m sure you’re wondering “What have I done for the Rantblogger?”
Well… you can go to and stuff the ballot box for my photoshopping efforts, THAT’s what you can do.
Laurence over at http://tedrall.isfullofcrap.com has a gallery of potshots–oh hell, body slams, of the asshat we all loathe, Ted Rall.
Anyway, I’ve got a team of ponies in this race and I want my loyal legions to ensure my immortality, as much as immortality can be insured on a blog, by voting for my work.
Here are the current poll results:
You see the titles that I’ve circled? Well GO HERE and vote for them! Now, silly.
Show the love.
Think you can do better? Here, have at it:
With the Rantblogger’s “out of bubblegum” sunglasses we can view the truth about our priapic impeached disbarred ex-President’s ghost-written bio:
It’s been a while since I’ve forged a Blogopoly piece. Here’s my latest, hardly compensation for favors rendered:
Ben’s been in my home. His sister and my daughters went to the same camp. He makes me seem like a liberal! I’m envious!
It’s time for American Jews to open their eyes
Ben ShapiroJune 16, 2004
It’s been long enough. For the last two decades, American Jews have shirked common sense and logic in the interest of an ideology that deserted them long ago. American Jewish leftism cannot be overlooked or excused. And in a world teetering on the brink of disaster, blind loyalty to a false cause can no longer be afforded.
Jews have a long history of liberalism in America, dating from a day when conservatives were “country-club Republicans” and Franklin Delano Roosevelt was deified. Those days are long past. Elderly Jews should realize that FDR is dead and that his party no longer stands for tolerance.
It was Rep. Jim Moran, a Democrat from Virginia, who claimed that a Jewish cabal stood behind the Iraq war. It was former Rep. Cynthia McKinney, a Democrat from Georgia, who took money from anti-American and anti-Israeli terrorist supporters during her candidacy for Congress. It was Vermont’s Howard Dean, a Democrat, who labeled Hamas members “soldiers.” It was Sen. Robert Byrd, a Democrat from West Virginia, who was once Grand Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan. It was Sen. Ernest Hollings, a Democrat from South Carolina, who blamed the Iraq war on pro-Israeli interests. Beyond all the rhetoric about Jewish relatives, the Democratic Party stands for a thinly veiled hostility toward Judaism and Jews.
Jewish resistance to the Republican Party also has roots in an inordinate fear of American Christianity. Many American Jews fear motivation more than action. Though it was Jerry Falwell who powerfully defended America’s pro-Israel policy the night of Sept. 11 on national television, American Jews largely fear the idea that, according to some Christians, Jews will go to hell for their rejection of Jesus. So they fight American Christianity tooth and nail. They champion the idea of complete separation between Judeo-Christian ethics and American politics. They join the American Civil Liberties Union and the Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. Down deep, American Jews fear another Holocaust – and they’ve been told that all Holocausts come from the right.
For all the Jews who fear American Christianity, the most tolerant and philosemitic ideology the world has ever seen, I challenge you: Look at history.
It was the Nazis who were the secularists – their sophisticated secularism led millions of Jews to gas chambers. The waves upon waves of white crosses marking the resting places of American dead pay silent tribute to the fact that American Christians, not secularists, died to liberate the death camps.
It was the communists who were secularists – their hatred for God led thousands of Jews to the gulag. The fields of white crosses that dot the globe mark the burial sites of American Christians who died to keep the world free from that vicious system of government.
Today, just as then, it is the American Christians who defend the globe from the threat of fundamentalist tyranny. Leftists like to say that all religious people are on the same side, but no bigger lie has ever been told. The open, life-affirming quality of the American Judeo-Christian ideology is directly opposed to the murderous ideology of radical Islam.
And today, just as then, it is secularists who pose the most extreme threat to the Jewish people. It is the secularists of France who ally with Muslim fanatics bent on a second Holocaust. It is the American secularists who defend the rights of terrorists bent on murder and destruction. It is the moral relativists of the American left who excuse terrorism based on the notion of diverse worldviews and hold up the United Nations as a moral paragon.
President Bush and the American right have been the best friends to the Jewish community in the annals of modern history. It is President Bush and his administration that have staunchly maintained their support for Israel, even in the face of withering attacks from the world community. It is President Bush and his administration that have stood up against the neo-Nazi ideology of Islamism. It is President Bush and the Republican Party that have fought for American morality; it is they who zealously guard the Judeo-Christian ethic that has made America the greatest power in world history. It is they who uphold the concept of a culturally, economically, morally strong Jewish people.
It’s about time the Jewish community recognized that fact and realized that allegiance must be to principles, not to parties.
Ben’s a kindred spirit. If you liked the above, you may like some of my earlier work:
And from WorldNetDaily: Study: Dems more anti-Semitic than GOPers: Survey finds bias against Jews greater among young
Egypt gets 2/3 the aid that Israel gets. Name me a benefit.
This week’s bounty from Israel to the planet:
Israel21c: June 13, 2004 - June 19, 2004
Now imagine if Israel was at peace! And those who know a little bit about India will find the first name of Mr. Echtenberg in the SheAgra story more than a little amusing.
400 million Arabs and vast oil wealth and contribution of WHAT to humanity?
I won’t hold my breath.
Laurence over at tedrall.isfullofcrap.com made me feel guilty for being late with my Weekly Asshat!
Here’s some penance. It’s art. Right?
Right?
Drudge reports Clinton Impeachment “Badge of Honor”
Here are some more spins from the Dhimmicratic Party:
- “One way or the other, we are determined to deny Iraq the capacity to develop weapons of mass destruction and the missiles to deliver them. That is our bottom line.” - President Clinton, Feb. 4, 1998
- “If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction program.” - President Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998
- Iraq is a long way from [here], but what happens there matters a great deal here. For the risks that the leaders of a rogue state will use nuclear, chemical or biological weapons against us or our allies is the greatest security threat we face.” - Madeline Albright, Feb 18, 1998
- “He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983.” - Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb 18,1998
- “[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the US Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq’s refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs.” - Letter to President Clinton, signed by Sens. Carl Levin (D-MI), Tom Daschle (D-SD), John Kerry (D - MA), and others Oct. 9,1998
- ”Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process.” - Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998
- “Hussein has chosen to spend his money on building weapons of mass destruction and palaces for his cronies.” – Madeline Albright, Clinton Secretary of State, Nov. 10, 1999
Two more this week. My versions and blanks for you to insert your own dialogue. Share your best ideas with us.
Hey… now go see tedrall.isfullofcrap.com for more great stuff!
I hate the sports of the winter months. Violence and running back and forth. No place for big fat slobs with divinely-gifted arms like David Wells to contribute. Now that the NBA season has mercifully ended, we are left with G-d’s own sport all alone to dominate the sports pages.
Doubt me? How does the Bible start? “In the big inning…”
I can’t wait until here in LA the Lakers news falls completely off the radar (and I wish we’d dump Kobe to get his trial off the radio so I could leave it on with my kids in the house).
When I’m cranky, take me to a ballpark and my blood pressure drops 20 points.
When I’m REALLY cranky, put a bat and $10 in my palm and drop me off at the batting cages. Half an hour later I’ll be in the zone and mentally sharp as a razor. I love playing games with myself at the cages, such as “not one ball hits the backstop” and then doing it.
The beauty of what is called “the hardest job in sports” (ask Michael Jordan about his minor league baseball career) is that you have a split second to swing a bat to solidly hit an object that is coming at you from 60-90 mph and may very well hit you or put your eye out.
What meditation is all about is focusing on a mantra, a phrase, to the exclusion of everything else. My mantra is the sweet thwack of hitting the ball on the sweet spot of my bat. Half an hour of this and I’m good for a fortnight.
And please don’t mention that lame EUnuch sport, soccer. It’s a regression to a time before we had opposable thumbs. Any sport that doesn’t demonstrate our clear superiority over the wild beasts isn’t worth playing.
You might have an argument with lacrosse, though.
And I hope that LA never ever gets an NFL franchise again. Seeing the Raiders stickers on pick-ups, here, are the easiest way to identify felons and their molls on the road. I bet violent crime would drop in LA if there was an RFID on every piece of Raiders memorabilia and the owners were jailed.
I’ve detoxified from my lifelong Yankee fanship (sorry Michele). 18 years in LA and the bliss of Dodger Stadium–the pristine Breyer’s Vanilla Ice Cream (with vanilla bits) of baseball stadiums–have made me a Dodger fan.
While Yankee Stadium deserves its status as a shrine, it’s a shrine that is desecrated by too many idiot fans who became Yankee fans not when they were more famous for wife-swapping than winning, but shallow fans who like to side with a winner and commit assault on anyone who isn’t a Yankee fan. Growing up equidistant to NY and Philly and able to see 3 games a day (Yankees on Channel 11, Mets on Channel 9 and the Phillies on Channel 17), more than a decade before cable made it no big deal, I really had the right to choose any of the 3. I chose Munson because Grote and Boone weren’t intense enough (later I grew to love how Boone handled pitchers).
Going from the Yankess to the Dodgers wasn’t an easy transition. I idolized Thurman Munson as a personal role model for my 5 years as an all star catcher as the epitome of intensity and fair play and clutch performance. And I loved getting Chambliss and Nettles and even Catfish and Reggie (I’d never begrudge any team picking up a key free agent or two), but the last few years, my apostasy has become inevitable. I guess treason was to be forseen in that I was mathematically sane enough to quantify that neither Munson nor “Donnie Baseball” nor, ugh, Phil Rizzuto, belong in the Hall of Fame. Just wearing the pinstripes isn’t enough. From a distance, I can also see the horror of George Steinbrenner clearly now. Yes, the Yankees nearly completely resemble The Onion article: Yankees Ensure 2003 Pennant By Signing Every Player In Baseball
Yankees Ensure 2003 Pennant By Signing Every Player In Baseball
NEW YORK – With a week to go before pitchers and catchers report for spring training, the New York Yankees shored up their pitching, hitting, and defense Monday by signing every player in professional baseball.
Right: Some of the New York Yankees’ newest additions are introduced to the press.
“We’d like to welcome the entire roster of Major League Baseball into the Yankees family,” said team owner George Steinbrenner, watching as the franchise’s 928 newest additions held up their pinstripes at a Yankee Stadium press conference. “With these acquisitions, we are in position to finally nab that elusive 27th World Series title.”
Sports reporters were not surprised by the move.
“This is not entirely unexpected,” New York Times baseball writer Murray Chass said. “When the Yankees followed up their signing of Japanese slugger Hideki ‘Godzilla’ Matsui by annexing Cuba for use as a Triple-A farm club, it was clear that Steinbrenner was willing to do whatever it takes to win.”
By noon, Yankees GM Brian Cashman had signed the entire National League and most of the American League to multi-year contracts. Some 10 hours later, the final opposing player, Texas Rangers shortstop Alex Rodriguez, had been acquired by the Yankees, who bought out the remainder of his $252 million contract for $300 million.
“It’s an honor to be part of this team,” said catcher Benito Santiago, picked up from the San Francisco Giants as insurance in case catchers Jorge Posada, Ivan Rodriguez, and Mike Piazza all go down with injuries. “It’s a surprise, certainly, but I’d be crazy to turn down the opportunity to play on what is, by default, the greatest team in baseball.”
Yankees manager Joe Torre, whose pitching rotation, prior to the mass signing, lacked a clear seventh ace, now has the luxury of starting each of his hurlers twice a season.
“As they say, you can never have enough pitching in this league,” Torre said. “Especially come playoff time. Now, if we make it to the World Series, we’ll be able to start Pedro Martinez in Game 1 and still have him fresh and ready to go for a Game 287, should it be necessary.”
With so many egos to juggle and so many personnel decisions to make, Torre said his job will actually be harder this season, the lack of opposing players notwithstanding.
“Hey, I don’t care who you’ve got on your team; winning in this league is tough—Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, and Randy Johnson or no Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, and Randy Johnson,” Torre said. “And it’s even tougher in New York. This is a baseball town, and some of these fans think the Yankees are the only team in baseball. Now that we truly are, the pressure to win will be that much greater.”
The mass signing, extravagant even by Yankees standards, caused the Bronx Bombers’ payroll to skyrocket from a former league high of $149 million to $5.6 billion. Cashman noted that much of that figure is tied up in bonuses to be paid out to pitcher Tom Glavine, who at 37 will almost certainly not play out the entirety of his 15-year contract.
Baseball commissioner Bud Selig approved the signing, noting that the other 29 major-league teams received ample financial compensation.
“I see no reason why a small-market team like the Twins or Expos can’t continue to remain competitive, just because it lacks players,” Selig said. “The league was due for contraction, anyway.”
Anyway… the Dodgers haven’t been to the postseason since 1988, the year of the Gibson home run. I’ve earned the right to root.
I hate that football pre-season is almost upon us. We need a law:
More summer. Less winter. More light. Less darkness.
I’m all over the place with these thoughts.
Having baseball alone is enough to make me giddy. It’s like waiting for all the kids to FINALLY go to bed so you can REALLY get busy and enjoy the good stuff.
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One Fine Jay
