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[24 Sep 2004|01:18pm] [ mood | blah ] "And when the day arrives I’ll become the sky And I’ll become the sea And the sea will come to kiss me For I am going Home Nothing can stop me now" a freakin 7 gauge | what do you think?

[23 Sep 2004|05:07pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | frou frou ] First thing: I have a philosophical question that I would like to hear some answers on. I am looking forward to answers from a few people, namely, Jon, Sam, Codi, Boner and X and anyone else. This question was asked in my Philosophy class and he shot down every student. I got a pretty good laugh at it, but wanted to get some more input. People have certain freedoms to do whatever they please... If someone, who was not actually crazy but just really didn't like his feet, and wanted to cut them off and he did, why should we lock him up? What is the difference between getting a tatoo and cutting yourself up? Also, if this was to be valid, would that mean that as a whole we really do not own our bodies, but really society does? Does that mean I actually own parts of other people? I understand the questioning and have my own answer, but again what is right for someone else if completly wrong for someone else. I believe that people should have the free-will to do whatever the hell they please with their body. I want a different side of this, but you have to take into account, that these type of people are not crazy or mental or unstable, they just don't like their legs, and as my teacher pointed out, that it's a valid phobia and medical condition.... Also, I visited Cali Boi Central during lunch, and to my suprise they where totally rocking out. I really wish I could have taken some pictures, it was really priceless. Boner, I respect you more than you know. a freakin 9 gauge | what do you think?

[21 Sep 2004|09:07pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Frou Frou ] I have done more homework and studying in the last 2 days, than I did all of last semester. Last night I did around 10 hours and today I did around 7 hours or so. It feels good actually. I feel like I am getting something accomplished and it feels rewarding and great. I hope I can keep it up, it is draining, but I feel so good going to bed each night. I even did something I never thought I would be able to. Pass up hanging out and playing monopoly while at CaliBoi Central. I tested myself, and I passed. Wow. What a great accomplishment. Now it's time to reward myself. But with what..... a freakin 13 gauge | what do you think?

[20 Sep 2004|12:50am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | The Moog Cookbook ] Wowzers. After 20 something odd years after the Vietnam war, and having nobody in our family know how my uncle died, my mom told me today. Apparently, he voluntered his life. There is some sort of like "suicide seat" in the tanks or something, and if anyone is assigned to that job, they pretty much know they are toast. So nobody wanted to do it. They all backed down. Supposidly my uncle stood up and said "I'll Do It" and with that, his life was history, engraved on the Vietnam War Memorial Marble Stone thingy. Sad story. It made me depressed knowing that he pretty much volunterred to die. They gave him the full 21 or however many gun salute and had the airplane missing man fly by thingy. Sort of strange. I guess the stupidity runs in the family, because I was thinking about it, and if it came down to it, I would willing give up my life for something that I believe in. Especially my family and friends. a freakin 11 gauge | what do you think?

[19 Sep 2004|02:58pm] [ mood | depressed ] So Simi Valley Days was pretty damn retarded. The only reason I went was to go see Mickles band play. And it was actually really good. The singer is pretty damn cute too. But In Memory, had a few good songs. But really, do we need 12-13 year olds who have not hit puberty singing? No we don't,son. The best part of the night was probably afterwards with Just Mike, John A, Marko and Cierra, son. Oh well.... a freakin 3 gauge | what do you think?

[15 Sep 2004|03:39pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | rob (white) zombie ] Well I woke up today and realized a few things. First of all, it's been exactly a year since I have been home. It's really crazy to think about it. I have enjoyed so much, and have had those times being bummed out. But all in all, it's been awesome. I've made a lot of really good friends that I never thought would happen, i.e. Codi, Matt/Joey Lang, John D, Marc, Roger (even though I knew you in like 9th grade) Hell, I am even friends that hated me way back in the day, i.e. 1/4 of Calicentral and David, and John D. haha. oh man. I remember coming home and seeing everyone at my house. The first person I went to was Daniel. Thanks bro. Thanks to Jon and Sam for always kicking me in the ass and reality-checking to whatever stupid shit I say. Now I known I've made my far-share of stupid plunders and retarded mistakes. But give me a freakin break, I'm human and make mistakes. Plus I'm learning from them. It's all in the good name of growing up. Which a few people should do, but thats besides the point. I really would like to thank everyone I know personally for everything. I've enjoyed life alot, and enjoy helping out as much as I can possibly handle. I do have a direction in my life. It's only a small time map, but at least it's something rather than nothing. I hope most people will understand if I sometimes won't hang out, or have more important things to do. I really hate putting my needs in front of other people, but there comes a time, when you need to reality check yourself and need to actually take care of yourself. I'm sorry If I don't "hang out" or "drive you somewhere" or "burn this or that", I really want to help, but come on, nobody is going to be waiting there to wipe your ass everyday (unless of course you are a multi-millionarie, then in that case, I'll be there) But if I seem tired, irritable, cranky, or just plain an ass, that means I've been up to 2am doing homework and worrying about my so called "hard" life, because you know some people have it harder than I do. Whatever, we each handle our own situations differently. Well, thank you all once again. I have made more friends in this 1 year, than any other time I can think of, excluding my mission. Thank you p.s. I'm going to try to eat only salads for dinner this week to see how my body handles it. and no you are freakin sick for thinking that. eww grosss. a freakin 6 gauge | what do you think?

[14 Sep 2004|07:31pm] Pulp Fiction. Princess Bride. A Walk to Remember. Toss in a little This Is Spinal Tap and you have what I would say is an ultimate movie. a freakin 9 gauge | what do you think?

[13 Sep 2004|12:08am] [ music | White Zombie - Blur the Technicolor ] So skating today. Yeah, no good. I bailed so freakin hard. Its probably been like 4-5 years since I have bailed that freakin hard. I also decided to skate without shoes, since it's much easier for me. Why the hell do I hate shoes that much? I have no idea. But I should probably just not wear them anymore. I decided to change LJ names for some reason. The name is iamnotanexit I also changed AIM name. It's: alexisnotanexit If you have any better suggestions. Let me hear them so far I have: DanglyBalls Dangerable I'm not sure if I want to change it or not. But... Unless of course, you think I should just stick with what I already have... a freakin 3 gauge | what do you think?

[10 Sep 2004|06:26pm] [ music | nine inch nails ] Picture this. You buy a "messed" up Apple Powerbook G4 online for a few hundreded dollars. What is the first thing that you would do? Would you turn it on and diagnose whats wrong with it? Or just store it away until later? Well, I diagnosed it and then I let my curiosity take over. It rivals that of anyone I know. I just took that baby apart and it's sitting in peices with screws that I dont even know exist. I look at it, and hopefully will be able to put every little piece back together. If not, I guess thats why God invented eBay. Hopefully I will be able to put it back together tonight sometime, and not have have a stress attack. If I get everything together, Boner will have a nice new laptop by the end of this week. a freakin 2 gauge | what do you think?

[10 Sep 2004|01:36pm] It's funny how history repeats itself. In almost the exact same way, with few differences... hahahahaha. oh man. this kills me too much. hahahahaha. a freakin 3 gauge | what do you think?

[08 Sep 2004|02:16am] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | minus the bear ] Yeap, just received the most awesome and best massage ever tonight a freakin 9 gauge | what do you think?

[07 Sep 2004|03:41pm] [ mood | okay ] I finally have money. I made a few sales and will be staying low-key and not doing as much anymore. I need to save all of my money. I bought another laptop. Boner, you will have your laptop by the end of next week, maybe sooner. I'm going to seriously pimp it out hard-core. Does anyone want a Google Mail? Otherwise known as gMail? I have alot of invites. It's pretty sweet actually. It's web-based, it's nice. It's free. It's 1 gig worth of email. It's a secret society composed of nerds and geeks. Obviously I'm in on it. I just downloaded this movie Comadante. It's a movie by Oliver stone, it's a documentary on the director's meeting with Castro. I am going to watch it and write a paper about it. If anyone is interested in that kind of stuff, or likes Oliver Stone, I suggest you watch it with me. I hear it's suppose to be pretty good. a freakin 6 gauge | what do you think?

[05 Sep 2004|07:51pm] [ mood | confused ] I'm really sorry it had to end this way. Really, I am.

[05 Sep 2004|05:24pm] Took the 'Vette out today: I think my face got burned pretty bad. 0-55ish from the speed hump after Dans house to the end of the street in less than 5 seconds. Whatever that means... I didn't get to give Joey or Matt a ride... a freakin 1 gauge | what do you think?

[05 Sep 2004|01:35am] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | minus the bear ] What a way to start off a wonderful 3 day weekend... Daniel bought a new 2001 Chevy Silverado Codi made Daniel and I enchillads Codi spelling tortillas "tortias" Me figuring out pretty much what I am going to do for a living (it's pretty clear and I enjoy it) I made 2 new ljs. I'm never signing on twistdnut or cantstandable again ever again. I don't think I'm going to keep cantstandable or xtremebox anymore. I need a new nick name. any ideas? I havn't seen Pulp Fiction in a while, I think I'm going to go watch that now... I get to drive my corvette tomorrow, finally it's been like 3 years... what do you think?

[04 Sep 2004|01:05am] Wow. What a weird friday night. 1) I actually did homework 2) I did more xbox stuff 3) I actually got to meet Jay, and I would have to say, I have a new friend. He is serioulsy awesome, and funny. 4) I freakin went and saw Minus the Bear. Holy crap, they are so "intense" at rocking out. A few of us got some VIP passes to go up and kick it like a rockstar. Hahaha. That was so awesome. Some pretty cute girl kept coming over to the window and was talking to me. I fell for her instantly but it looked like she had a boyfriend. But whatever, because Codi is way more awesome than her. So Afterwards, as we were driving by, I saw my future girlfriend, but alas, she started smoking. Not cool. So I dumped her. She was really cute though. 5) I did more homework 6) I did more xbox stuff. 7) It's 1am and Joey is coming over a freakin 4 gauge | what do you think?

[03 Sep 2004|12:22am] [ mood | indifferent ] [ music | Copeland ] There is something missing in my life. I'm not sure 100% what it is. But I know what is has to deal with. I really want to go out and visit the world. You really don't know how close I have come to buying a one-way ticket. Not because of the -I Hate my life and my friends-, but because I want to go out and just plunge into the world and see everything it has to offer. I know that I am for sure going to see much of it for 2 weeks on EUROPTRIP 05. But Codi, you don't know how bad I want to buy a one-way and actually not come back. I have nothing here holding me down, and/or there is nothing here that offers me anything. Would it be wise to go into some debt to travel and have my eyes open? Or is it wise, to stay positive in money (which technically is worthless to me) and have my eyes barely open and having only a taste of what there is to offer? I say go out and see what there is. I don't even have a career in mind. The economy is ever so changing. I have to be honest, what I REALLY want to get into is so cut-throat and is actually the most ever changing part of the economy that sometimes you look at what it rewards you with and it seems like it isn't even worth it. Is it a WASTE of a talent not to pursue what comes natural and is like your 6th sense (that movies suckedd ass by the way) I've learned a whole other operating system in under a few hours. Give me a piece of software and I can become Intermediate to Expert within a day or two. Naturally unheard of for most people. But really, it seems like I also get the short end of the stick of jobs like that. It's like all of the odds are against me. I try fighting agains them, but alas, I prevail not. I really wanted to become a Secret Service agen. That was one of my few childhood dreams of jobs. But I figured that one is worse than the computer industry. Can you make a good living off of helping other people? I seem to be good at that. I'll look into it. Now that, that rant and rave is over. Who is excited to goto Minus the Bear tomorrow? Hell, I know I am. Woohoo! Plus I can finally formally meet this wonder Jay $ character, I have ever heard so much about. Adieu (Insprired by Joey "Hot Stuff" Lang) Random Tidbit of info: I am NOT materialistic. And I can't STAND people who are. I've decided next year, when school starts in January. That I am going to take a full semester, have it be 18 credits and summer school and another 18 credits. p.s. thank you Roger for calling me tonight. It made my day! EUROTRIP '05...Because I love Hitler sooo much... a freakin 4 gauge | what do you think?

[01 Sep 2004|09:23am] I only want what I was always meant to be I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away Oh God, please don’t tell me this has been in vain I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means You kill me you’ve got some nerve, but can’t face your mistakes I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away I can't help it baby, this is who I am Sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel You kill me, you build me up but just to watch me break

[31 Aug 2004|08:07pm] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | jew (again...) ] So I had my meeting today. I feel no longer burdened with everything that I have been keeping inside, supressed and bottled up. I'm back on track to being how I want to feel like I did a few years ago. I'm actually excited and happy. I watched most of Fast Food nation with Boner tonight. It was, well eye opening. I'm going to make an effort to stop eating so much fast food and to really cut-back on drinking soda. There are alot of better alternatives out there. After he said that he started feeling depressed because of what he has been eating, it hit me like a ton of bricks. That's one of the reasonings. Hmmmm, now I'm hungry. Time to find some fruit and something healthy.... a freakin 5 gauge | what do you think?

A NEW JEW lyric that express my feelings, but then again, they all do... [30 Aug 2004|11:40pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | jimmy eat world ] The left side of my head is seriously pulsating. I've been feeling really weird lately. It feels like I am falling to pieces inside right now. "...Making life decisions, and sometimes not realizing the full picture of what's ahead. When you're younger, everything seems like such a big deal. Then you get older and you kind of laugh at how seriously you took everything, but you're kind of crushed by the fact that everything meant a lot to you back then" It's either I start smoking weed or start taking anti-depressants again, to get rid of all thats inside..... I would rather do neither, I believe it's all mental, but sometimes... Tomorrow at 7pm, I will be a better person a freakin 3 gauge | what do you think?

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