It's Neil Cavuto's world, we just fuck in it:
And while we knew his show was masturbatory, but we had no idea his reaction to the COPA decision would be so, uhm, penetrating.
And don't go blind: Click for a larger version.
Fox Oops [mjsmitho]
When bookers attack: Jim March of the Citizen’s Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms offers the latest first person account of how faux shout show "Crossballs" got an honest pundit into a ridiculous exchange of meaningless ideas. Which has never happened before in the history of television. March, apparently unaware of the existence of "The O'Reilly Factor," appears to think he was duped into this, and we confess a fondness for the neologism he uses to express his outrage: "I did NOT CONSENT TO BE FINDFUCKED LIKE THIS!" (Totally stealing that.)
It sounds so great. But Variety's said the show "recalls the kind of shtick high school kids engage in when trying to spice up a social studies class, with a budget that's probably comparable," which sounds so much like the Wonkette business plan it's scary.
[AP Photo/Courtesy Comedy Central, Michael Yarish]
“The Debate Show” Fiasco [Equal Rights for Carry Concealed Weapons]
Crossballs [Variety/Yahoo]
Competition for "Hannity and Colmes" in Joke Shout Show Division [Wonkette]
Really, no sooner can you say "slow news day" and Drudge comes to the rescue:
In equally reliable news, we hear:
VICE PRESIDENT HILLARY [Drudge!]
A graduate from the Washingtonienne School of Business:
Ok so rent is due in a few days and I am about 200 dollars short. I can probably come up with $50 of that but I am asking for your assistance with the rest. I am working with a really great company but they are paying me shit for money. I have messed around a little in college but mainly just stroking it with my boys. If someone can help me with the rest or the whole amount please shoot me an email. I will be available from about 4:15 to 7 tonight. I am 5'11 170lbs muscular build and good looking. Would rather stay discreet so please don't ask for a picture. I garuntee you will not be disapointed. ThanksTwo hundred bucks, a bargain, really -- but how much not to write about it in his blog? (Call us crazy: Posting a Craigslist ad promising sex for money doesn't exactly scream "staying discreet.")
Really needing help. Intern in need. $$ - m4m - 23 [Craigslist]
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1. We miss Chris Matthews, too: "[H]is puppy-dog charm, his tendency to sort of bounce in his chair with glee. . . He's like a crazy little schoolboy. . . If cable news is merely a circus, he is the dancing bear in Ring 3." [Antidisingenuousmentarianism]
2. Rankings we didn't know existed: "[C]ursing on the Senate floor is less offensive than getting a hummer in — or near — the Oval Office." [ABC News]
3. George W. Bush: Crypto-Gallic subversive? "When it was time for the president's comments, the director pushed the button and there was President Bush, on a severe clear blue day. He was wearing a red tie, white shirt, blue suit. He looked great. But he was speaking IN FRENCH!" [Fox News]
4. Shock horror: O'Reilly loses temper. [WP]
5. First Amendment: Making a comeback. "The 2004 survey found that just 30 percent of those surveyed agreed with the statement, ‘The First Amendment goes too far in the rights it guarantees.'" [First Amendment Center via Romenesko]
Read and written by, you say? Is it a boast or a threat? So important to read the fine print these days. . .
Deliver Us From Evil [Amazon via Radosh.net]
• Names & Faces: William Buckley Jr. leaving The National Review. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Buckley Jr.: "If I knew then what I know now about what kind of situation we'd be in, I would have opposed this war.". . . British government brings Rep. Gilchrest and Hill staffers to London to increase environmental protection. . . Wall St. has mixed views of Teresa. . . Mother Jones announces Diddly Awards. . . Inauguration planning under way, lead by Lott. . . Sen. Roberts on Armed Services Committee to Wolfowitz: "This really dates me, but in the 1940s, there was a song that my dad and mom enjoyed..." To Armitage: "Let’s use the Butch Cassidy-Sundance Kid question." [The Hill]
• Inside Politics: Hillary to donors: "We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that [tax cut] short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." [WT]
• Battleground poll: Bush, 43 percent, Kerry, 41 percent; Bush approval at 50 percent. [WT]
• Kerry, at Rainbow/PUSH, promises broader access to colleges for minorities: "Well, I say, the most pessimistic thing that you can say is that we can't do better in the United States of America." [NYT and WP and LAT and BG and USAT]
• Kerry faced with decision of paying off his personal loan to the campaign with campaign contributions or with his own income. [NYT and LAT]
• Cheney booed at Yankee Stadium. [NYT]
Reactions to today's Supreme Court ruling on the Child Online Protection Act are pretty predictable. The Family Research Council called it a "victory for pornographers" -- and, they added, those who love them: "We are especially disappointed that Justice Clarence Thomas was on the wrong side of this decision." On the other hand, CNN is reporting that "[t]he ACLU applauded the ruling."
Well, sure. . . with one hand they did.
U.S. Supreme Court Strikes Down 'Child Online Protection Act' [FRC.org]
High court bars Internet porn law enforcement [CNN]
RELATED: Porn Free! [Fleshbot]
You may have noticed that when it comes to Michael Moore and "Fahrenheit 9/11," we've outsourced pretty much all of the, uhm, heavy lifting to our breast-enhanced step-blog, Defamer. This is because inside the Beltway, everyone who wants to have an opinion about the movie already has one (whether they've seen it or not), while in Defamerland, "F9/11" still raises important issues, issues such as: "How much money will it make?" and "When will Michael Eisner's head finally explode?"
[more...]• Jaffe does a tick-tock on the Dick-fuck, saying it's all Len Downie's doing. [Washingtonian]
• "Go fuck yourself" as a liberal conspiracy. (And you thought the Roe decision backfired. . .) [Romenesko Letters]
• We'd like to know where Fox's John Gibson takes his yoga classes: "Cheney . . . probably told Sen. Pat Leahy . . . to do something to himself that we all know is most cases physically impossible." (Emphasis added.) [Fox News]
• Also curious about what sort of barnyards the folks at the Washington Times have been hanging out in: "According to the aide, Mr. Cheney then responded with a barnyard epithet." Perhaps they're near Gibson's yoga studio? [WT]
• Daniel Radosh points to the FCC's own ruling on "fuck": "Its use invariably invokes a coarse sexual image." So, clearly, when we hear Dick Cheney utter his "barnyard epithet" or whatever, "we immediately pictured Leahy actually penetrating himself with his own penis." We're not really getting that image ourselves, but please, describe it for us if you do! [Radosh.net]
Don't know about you, but we're still reeling from yesterday's Supreme Court decision that "reaffirm[ed]. . . the fundamental nature of a citizen’s right to be free from involuntary confinement by his own government without due process of law." Pretty edgy stuff. One presidential scholar told the NYT that the administration will just have to learn to live with this radical proposition: "[I]n the world we live in now, it's literally impossible for a president to ignore a Supreme Court decision, no matter how wrong or dangerous he may think it is." Good to hear that. But then again, we had this crazy idea he couldn't ignore the Geneva Convention, either.
In Classic Check and Balance, Court Shows Bush It Also Has Wartime Powers [NYT]
HAMDI V. RUMSFELD (03-6696) [Legal Information Institute]
Howie Kurtz breaks a lot of news in today's column, from how journalists use cell phones to report stories to how the White House is sometimes less than forthcoming about its foreign policy decisions. But he totally buried the lead! According to Dan Rather, missing the handover ceremony would be OK, but he "would have been disappointed 'if I had been locked in that room and found out someone else had broken the story.'" Ack! Is that a concern over there? What kind of Abu Ghraib press pool is this administration running?
OK, sure, we'd like to see Anderson Cooper in leather and chains, but that's a whole different thing.
In this White House pool report: bus crashes, botched kisses, needless detours and beautiful views. It's like a James Bond movie or something over there. The naughty bit:
The rest of us did manage, however, to see POTUS pull up to the gate with his traditional two limos to be greeted by Turkey's chief of protocol. FLOTUS looked resplendent in a navy blue silk skirt suit with a diamond brooch above her heart. They stopped to wave to the photographers, then Bush gave Laura a slightly off-target cheek smoosh, which caused Laura to pucker up in apparent anticipation of something more akin to a kiss. Giving up on any more PDA, they walked up a short red carpet and went through the gates.PDA, eh? Could Laura look any more like an animatronic replica? From this pic, it seems less like Bush was going for a kiss than a full restart. Or is he just trying to hold her head on? We await further accounts.
Full report after the jump.
[more...]• Names & Faces: My Life approaches millionth sold. . . Georgetown Ritz-Carlton sees bounce from "F9/11" [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Bennett Roth's pool report: "While most of you [reporters] were getting your beauty sleep, your pooler was up this morning observing the parade of NATO leaders." [WT]
• Inside Politics: Rothenberg: "The most likely outcome right now in the fight for the House is anything from a small Democratic gain of a couple of seats to a small Republican gain of a couple of seats.". . . Sen. Allen accused of being "pro-homosexual" by pro-family group. . . Starr plans to read Clinton's memoir. . . "Clinton's sadomasochism, narcissism, Oedipus complex, fear of death, and his sexuality" are explored in The Clintons Meet Freud. [WT]
• Bush: "We pledged to end a dangerous regime, to free the oppressed and to restore sovereignty. We have kept our word." [WP and USAT]
• Bush's approval rating at 42 percent, a new low, according to NYT/CBS poll. 57 percent say the country is headed in the wrong direction; 60 percent disapprove of Iraq policy, say war was not worth it. Forty percent have no opinion of Kerry, but most of those who do think he panders. [NYT]
• Bush's support dependent on success in Iraq; Rumsfeld compares insurgency to Tet offensive, argues insurgents want to win the media war. What could go wrong after the transfer? "Allawi could get killed. That would be disastrous," says senior offical. [NYT]
Last night's "Daily Show" cuts through the red tape of the transfer of power in Iraq:
But Bremmer didn't leave before taking care of some last minute odds and ends, like completely changing the Iraqi legal code to include 97 new edicts on subjects ranging from the death penalty to the Iraqi tax rate which he says can be no higher now than 15 percent. And also -- this is true -- drivers can only use their horns in the case of an emergency and must always keep both hands on the wheel, he says, God forbid you lose control of the car while you're driving into an embassy.DNC head dude Terry McAuliffe was also on. A tip: Describing yourself as the "head cheerleader of the Democratic party" brings on really unwelcome flashbacks to the Clinton administration. On the other hand, at least McAuliffe doesn't giggle like a tweaked out 13-year-old like some Republican National Committee chairmen we could name.
RELATED: U.S. Edicts Curb Power Of Iraq's Leadership [WP]
AIM: tipwonk
"Swims in the libidinal current of American politics." [Village Voice]
"Profanity-laced and sex-obsessed...[a] vain, young, trash-mouthed skank." [Michelle Malkin]
"Gossipy, raunchy, potty-mouthed." [New York Times]
"Its like having a drunken, sometimes vicious gossip session
without the hangover." [Electric Venom]
"A foulmouthed, inaccurate, opinionated little vixen."
[Richard Leiby]
"Plying gossip above all, eschewing serious debates about politics and policy."
[The Nation]
"The newest, funnest blogger on the block" [Andrew Sullivan]
"Wonkette's arrival on the steps of the Capitol is a quiet victory for creeping National Enquirer values." [Christian Science Monitor]
"[H]er enthusiasm for penis jokes cannot be as great as her blog suggests"
[Jack Shafer]
"A pre-menopausal Lucianne Goldberg"
[Reason]
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