ludwig von drake's LiveJournal Entries [entries|friends|calendar] ludwig von drake [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

bathroom therapy is my best answer [04 Jul 2002|09:56pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | dinoplasty ] 10-30-98 - 9th period study hall forget everything you know we need to be rotating i know what you need (thank goodness for me) i saw you walking and i pushed you out of my way what a dizzy day but i am excited to see you standing tall among the goosebump children hearing my feet hit the pavement just walking along rotating looking at the lights outside of my face staring waiting for my clock to tick you awake post comment

sleeping with ambivalence [26 Jun 2002|01:32pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | tick tock ] while we (gwen, sam, shelly and mi) were fucked up last night, shelly thought it would be fun to sit at the laptop all sneaky-like and type everything everyone was saying. can you say good idea? i forgot about it until now. indulge your rotten brain... -- thow it a few times they aren't dumb they are just little do they have their own toys that they have to play with like there is just like this big tub that they put everytrhing in it's sucks I don't want kids I am notr going to have any kits' damnit shelly you are going with me tomorrow okay? what time are you getting off work tomorrow? Oh i had to take that background picture down okay I am thinking food don't think food utni we were younbger \ we were pretty young I wasn't keeping track of my money She probably just took it and gave you money when you needed it well shit then who the fuck cares hahahahahahahah oh my god go back to you little fantasy lanf no it's true gwen remember your elbow was chillin on my penis last night I didn't notice it at first I think that shelly is plotting right now againt]st ud. Look at the way she paused when you paued''I thyink that she is writing down everything that well what the fuck? Why is it all see-throughy what's that movie? yup I want to see VH1 classics it's not going to come in though nothing comes in dirty dancing -- (with authentic spelling errors!) going to the Clinic/Interpol/Q & Not U show thursday with kt. gwt!? 1 comment|post comment

i need sun [29 May 2002|06:34pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | the fan ] just got home from teaching at woo-young's, and am now enjoying some delicious leftover spaghetti and a glass of tap water. i am more than pleased with how the day has gone so far. my car part has finally came in, so i can feel safe making the 6 hr. drive home to new york next weekend. went to the HFStival this past weekend. saw someone die (probably). it was the largest gathering of ugly teens i've seen in quite a long time, but it was still fun considering the weather was beautiful, we were staying in a adorable irish hotel, and were completely tripping on numerous things the entire time. shelly and i were talking about how it's kind of strange how you can become "all banded out" after watching band after band play live for days or weeks. but then as soon as you take a break and have a day of silence, you're ready for them again. that's how i feel now that it's wednesday. katie and i were going to see mogwai, but now we've decided to go to clinic instead. i think i'm more excited for clinic too. 9:30 club rock on with your good scheduling. i'm even more excited to see les claypool & the frog brigade which we will be hosting at wilmer's park. i'll put up an address for people to visit once i stop being lazy and finish the damn website. parents' visit was moving. more about that at some point. tina rented vanilla sky and i have a bottle of vodka to finish. sounds like a good night approaching. post comment

feel yr heart [29 May 2002|06:20pm] [ mood | anxious ] i'm the heaven i need. think of the most relaxing state you can think of the feeling right before you fall asleep right before you leave your body and enter your mind. think of peace now imagine it when you're awake. the feeling of love with(in) yourself. reading the air w. your eyelids falling in love w. yourself it's all you need. your mind opens pages of passion you know who you are and what you love you see beauty where you couldn't before. you feel beauty everywhere you are heaven imagine it forever. give yourself the world dream like you mean it. post comment

by the way [13 May 2002|10:35am] the worst thing about turning 20 is knowing that in 10 years you'll be turning 30. 1 comment|post comment

a.m. neutrality [13 May 2002|08:51am] [ mood | working ] [ music | roxy music - sea breezes ] i figured since i was up real early today (6 a.m. - people get shocked), i would take the time to write and hopefully clear up my head a little bit. because it really needs some clearing. and my memory is getting to the point where i can't remember what i did last weekend - let alone last night. (proof drugs are bad for you) i don't think that events get completely erased from my memory, but just pushed deep into my subconscious. i'll probably be able to recall them a month from now. in any case, i've been feeling pretty well. been hanging out with shelly a lot (of course), and not hanging out with jason as much. i don't think he ever got a mention in here? jason is a boy i recently "dated" (urrgh) for about a month, whom i broke up with this past week. everything started out as fine as could've been expected, but i realized rather quickly that he was not someone who i could see myself being with for a long time, and he began annoying me way too much. especially considering we were still in the early-relationship zone. it became known to us that the only time we really got along was in bed. we also had differing opinions on love, and countless other things. i realized i could never be with someone who i'm not in love with. and we weren't in love with each other. i can't trust someone who can't open their heart up to me (and me to them). and he is the kind of person who will date someone with the hopes of eventually "falling into love" with them. i think that's awful. i want passion everytime i look at them. i want to be in love with everything they do. call me old-fashioned, but i'm not the type of girl to just "date" different guys all the time. i could do it, but it would make me feel like i was wasting my energy. this was my first time trying out the whole casual-dating-not-in-love type thing with anybody, and probably my last. stubborn and picky = me i like to imagine i'm seeing someone with the bigger idea of possibly staying with them my entire life. i know it's not very realistic, but neither are most of my daily thoughts. i still wish that i could get swept away on a white horse by a dashing young prince (cue david bowie: when i live my dream). this is all highly unlikely, but it dosen't mean i am going to give up my search for true love. i'm going to go to the HFStival. ive never been before. it can fill my Warped Tour void. i most definitely want to see the black rebel motorcycle club again. they were magnifico w/ spiritualized at the 9:30 club a few weeks ago. cd has been stuck in my car since then. new jobs: - hostess at new restaurant - helping start/run new music venue (this i won't talk about until we actually finish working on it, but it has the potential to do really well, and if it does, i sure as hell will not be taking lame hostess job!) :> parental units are coming for a long-awaited visit on friday. much cleaning needs to be done. here's to remembrance! post comment

johnny is my man [29 Apr 2002|04:42pm] i'm posting this here so that i can easily pull it up whenever i want to tell someone that i know someone who can do this. the hotter potter 1 comment|post comment

only when i'm high [29 Apr 2002|01:20pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | airplanes in the sky ] wow. brianna posting in her journal? can it be? that tornado must have left some alien spacedust in the air! well so many things have happened during the past few months that it would be rather fruitless for me to attempt to list them all, giving them the descriptions they don't deserve. so instead i'll make it even worse by saying that "life is good". no no, i can't do that. that's a waste of space. people need details. the move to maryland was good. i am now used to everything and know all of the short-cuts. i feel at home here, and i don't want to leave in september, or any other time soon. i have a job tutoring two korean kids in english. they aren't related, separate houses separate times. 1 boy - age 4. 1 girl - age 11. the girl was raised in korea and although she is extremely smart, she has a lot of trouble converting things into english. we read and write and she gives me korean snacks. sometimes we play Chopin together too. the boy is adorable, but much less attentive. he can speak english well, but he's still learning the alphabet. i'm teaching him how to spell and write. it's slow, but it's easier in the sense that he dosen't think in Korean, and then have to translate to English. but he still dosen't know the words. it's like teaching an american english for the first time. the band is beginning to come together. me for madness just had our first practice in what seems like years. we wrote some new songs that i am very excited about (as long as i can remember how to play them). "Bitch At Work", "Mr. Heather", "8 dollars in tips" etc. i think we've decided that we are 100 times better when we make up songs right off the spot, so that shelly can exercise her lyrical freestyling abilities. i have much more to write, but i have let myself run out of time once again! it's pb&j; and then off to the library i go... 1 comment|post comment

favorite game music [03 Feb 2002|04:45am] my top 5: 5) Contra without ever playing it, you can feel what this game is about just by listening to the opening theme. "commandos fighting aliens?" you're thinking.. why, yes! classic NES/arcade game. in fact, i think it was one of the first games for NES. maybe i'm wrong? anyway, the music is catchy as all hell. craaazzy bass action. 4) Legend of Zelda original theme you know how some music can be identified blatantly as game music? well, i never thought that with zelda. it's simply a great song. 4 and 1/2) Super Mario Brothers 2 Theme everybody worships mario 1's music, but aside from the mario 1 sea levels, i've always liked mario 2 music better. 3) Galaga usually the only game i play at the arcade. music is immortally fantastic. original themes + lounge remix = pure bliss. look for it on napster. if there still is a napster? 2) Castlevania III this was a close one, but i decided to put bubble bobble first because i'm in a really great mood. so i guess they could trade places at different times, but they will always be at the top of the list. 1) Bubble Bobble rules runners up: Excite Bike Faxanadu Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (who can resist?!) post comment

dracula's curse [03 Feb 2002|03:59am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | castlevania III - stage 4 intro (aka scary frog level) ] so as i'm doing some last minute cleaning up of monty the computer, guess what i find in some obscure download folder from days of yore? an entire folder of ALL of the castlevania III songs, which are the most excellent out of all castlevania game music, as well my favorite castlevania game, too! well over 30 of those suckers. i have been listening to them for the past half hour. you think that sounds awesome? that's because it is! and it's better than anything you're listening to right now, believe you me. post comment

this message is for shelly [01 Feb 2002|09:22pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | the stone roses - driving south ] W E D N E S D A Y (makes you think about the word in a whole different perspective dosen't it?) no, seriously...: wednesday i'm done with this life. post comment

inside the the ville of green [30 Jan 2002|01:19am] [ mood | excited ] [ music | flaming lips - feeling yourself disintegrate ] i'm so excited that all i can do is be excited. 1 comment|post comment

happy? [23 Jan 2002|01:51pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | a headache a-brewin' ] oh the crazy old things one finds when cleaning out their basement! so far i've set aside lisa frank stickers, really ugly earrings, large and small amethyst gems, bates motel drink coasters, spin doctor matches (i don't know how they ever survived), lots of old comics and drawings i've made, tons of old embarrassing writing, hello kitty band-aids, tons of old Weezines (from the weezer fan club way back when), a belt, a veruca salt single on vinyl, a blacklight, an umbrella, old love letters from ex-boyfriends that make me shudder at the thought i ever allowed myself to be with them, an old gross journal further narrating the grossness of latter relationship, TEETH (yes really! i actually saved bloody baby teeth in a little box), a great jr. high disciplinary referral i got with a friend accusing us of interrupting the principals' speech by playing with a "middle finger toy", and a lot of other junk i was stupid enough to save. most of it is getting thrown out, but it was fun to see it again. also, would it be treasonous against my own kind to say that i'm wearing my hair curly today?! mmm.....probably. but i'll say it anyway. i'm wearing my hair curly today. the way it was intended to be. or some crap like that. i haven't touched it all day. but the scary part is: i think it looks good. not cutesy or anything. part flat, part long tendrils. more like morning-time-hair after having really good sex. and for me, that's always good hair. where it looks like someone actually worked to style it for me. (aah how i wish that were true of last night!) gotta go develop film and try to stay awake for more than 5 hrs. a day. post comment

the flapper [21 Jan 2002|12:29am] [ mood | sweet ] [ music | trona - time life ] ok. i'm home and i can't sleep (what else is new). so i will make a to-do list to occupy myself before it's tea + movie time! this may actually be more memorable to me than the tiny scraps of paper i leave as "to-do notes" along with other random thoughts/lines/quotes/titles/lyrics/lists that are ALL OVER the house. i find them under things, and in things, all the time. the annoying part is that i always write things down when i am falling asleep, or just waking up, so it's always an abrupt, hard-to-read scribble on the first paper i could find (and of course, always happens to be the smallest) and they're beautifully incoherent and rambling, but meant to be attached to something else that i can never find...so they usually remain unattached inside a notebook. one day i'll piece it together. anyway. this is a to-do list for things before i move really soon. - car wash. asap. i love my little car. but it's covered in snow and dirt. you're supposed to get your car washed more when it's been snowing, but i neglect it. i also need to vacuum out the inside and do a bit of polishing. - take advantage of my 50% yankee candle discount while i still get it. i'm technically done with work there, but i'm still on the schedule for vacation, so i need to go stock up on numerous baskets of tarts, tealights and air fresheners. - get a damn hair cut. and possibly an eyebrow waxing as well. - raid h&m; for last minute clothings. i don't think they have one in Merryland. maybe in DC though? i hope so. it's practically the only place i shop. it's also the cheapest, even without discounts from my favorite gay playas. - bank and other monetary "affairs". that's it. post comment

i've only got a lifetime [20 Jan 2002|10:50pm] [ mood | listless ] [ music | teenage fanclub - i need direction ] as i was waking up in the garbage-ridden backseat of an overloaded sedan this morning, staring out at the sparse, snow-covered roadside of the delaware water gap, i realized i'm definitely a northern girl. seeing snow is always a big deal for me, and after spending this past week in the hot, wet south, it was great to be back in the cold. it was like i was finally myself again. or maybe it was the lack of codeine in my bloodstream that made me feel strangely awake. ? i can't imagine ever living somewhere that didn't have 4 defining seasons though. 3 of which are mainly cold. the heat is nice to come and go, but not to stay for more than a couple of days. that's 2 days. just like any good relative visitation. i like big bear-like mittens. i like hats with big bear-like earflaps. i want to be where i have to wear 3 layers of clothing and a parka to get the mail in the morning. i enjoyed spending as much time as i could with the kids on this - my last - completely sociopathic "family" vacation. i also got enough time in with my parents to feel more than comforted in my decision that i won't be missing anything again. and that's non-fiction. currently, i have one of those silly sunglass tans, where everything but my eye area is red, especially my nose. it looks kind of funny, but baby i'm ready to go. post comment

dear [06 Jan 2002|03:32am] [ mood | high ] [ music | the association - cherish ] only if the door beams comfort, your eyes might be open under those glasses. eyes that see as a cat curled around my tape what a pleasant thing that would be if it were true, you couldn't speak post comment

[04 Jan 2002|08:26am] [ music | On - perfect imposter ] dude. http://www.securebaltimore.com/missiontix/moreinfo.cfm?Product_ID=160 i'm so there. post comment

the epsom salt illusion [04 Jan 2002|06:41am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Bach - Fugue in G Minor (waking up the house) ] i'm going to get surgery on my toe in a few hours, so i'm up early. (ok, so the heat really woke me up) i've had the same toe operated on twice before, so it's nothing new. i have a genetically ingrown nail. the first time i went in, my doctor said if it comes back more than twice, it's going to be a permanent hassle for life. so i think i may get the nail taken permanently off this time. we'll see. it's just a nail. no big deal. luckily i'm not a dancer, or i'd be horribly depressed. it dosen't sound like such a bad thing, but these past few days it's cut into my toe so badly i can barely walk. strange how these circumstances choose to arrive so very close to my move. very eyebrow-raising. seems like a good sign indeed! so this is it. the final countdown has begun! 19 days. it's going to be good. i'm excited to break out of certain things and start others, scared to lose a certain familiarity that i need (and not in the sense of new washcloths), and generally anxious just to fucking go. i'm full of different emotions. emotional to the point of being emotion-less, which is where i'm at right now. emotionless. it can't be easily described, but easily identified (a la my clothes taste). i do enjoy going through moods when i'm on a course. "Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't "try" to do things. You simply "must" do things." - Ray Bradbury i "must" make this my motto. -- i had a couple of visits from my old friend samantha again. we rented movies and played music this time. she brought over her guitar and cokehead boyfriend and we made up a song while he passed out on my floor. i must say she's gotten a lot better at playing than the last time i played with her, probably 2 or 3 years ago. she always wanted to start a band with me, but i never wanted to because i couldn't handle being around her that much. plus, i'm always happier behind a piano than a guitar. guitar=in public=in order to sing. i've played a lot of guitar with different people, and i know i'm a good rhythm guitarist and it can be really fun, but it's just not me. (whoever that is). if anyone from around the d.c./baltimore/so. maryland area is reading this (besides the beloved e. rachelle of course), and wants to play music, come on and let me know. so what i wish a bright new year to all and martin - where has your fantastic self gone to? 1 comment|post comment

p.s. [25 Dec 2001|05:54pm] i got my grades. the A in jazz ensemble was my best. did i mention that our final concert was the most fun i've ever had for a school performance? and a well-deserved C in advanced theory was my worst. i'm actually surprised he gave me that considering i copped out on most of the classes for the last few weeks, and handed in my final 5 days late. i don't think i'll ever get "into" chorale analysis. he must like me more than i thought. the rest is boring. so long college for awhile. post comment

are you hep to the jive? [25 Dec 2001|05:30pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | the pasadena roof orchestra - truck'n ] imagine this. a muy creepy christmas card from my dad in the old sly style of writing-the-things-you-cannot-say-in-person, telling me that he knows he's a jerk, but supports me and wants nothing but happiness for me. who woulda thunk it! he said that my choice to move was breaking his heart. it's about time he felt what it's like. post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]