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Friday, July 5th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:short list: day's summation, in backwards chronological order.
Time:1:30 am.
Mood:what, why??.
Music:clinic (or spiritualized, or random-guitar-music).
-maybe i dont wanna update.

-my future cohabitant seems real cool.

-hmmmm.. ok. what!? so anyway.... (yeah, i know i'm stupid.)

-listened to jakes tape w/ jake. its probably better than he thinks.

-didn't see fireworks. but heard them.

-i think i could never show up at work and they'd still love me there.

-started to paint *during the day* for the first time i can remember and almost immediately there-after jake called cause i wasnt at work and should have been.

-da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, dah, NO! da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, dah, NO!

-clinic kicks my fucking ass.

-woke up too early and that was richie's fault.

-dreamt that i saw radiohead live and man, jonny greenwood was HOT.

good night.

Thursday, July 4th, 2002

(2 dirty birds | i hope that you choke)

Subject:music
Time:12:47 am.
Music:should i have bought neutral milk hotel instead?.
tonight i bought clinic and spiritualized.

i think i did well.

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002

(1 dirty bird | i hope that you choke)

Subject:huey p newton says:
Time:1:05 am.
If I define myself as my thumb, I deny myself my fingers.
If I define myself as my fingers, I deny myself my hand.
If I define myself as my hand, I deny myself my arm.
If I define myself as my arm, I deny myself my body.
If I define myself as my body, I deny myself my universe.
I diminish myself.

Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:i wanna die die die in my sleep tonight
Time:11:44 pm.
Mood: apathetic.
Music:(now)smiths-please please please (earlier)ABBA-dancing queen.
tonight would be great to sleep outside, but the swing's still broken.

why am i updating? there is absolutely most definitely nothing to say.

Thursday, June 27th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Time:12:22 am.
Mood:deer-in-headlights.
"the book says: we might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."

Wednesday, June 26th, 2002

(5 dirty birds | i hope that you choke)

Time:9:55 am.
Mood: uncomfortable.
it hurt, a lot.

Monday, May 6th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Time:2:46 pm.
Where is my Mind?
You're smart, shy, and often nonsensical. You have dreams of being famous, and you're quirky enough that you just might pull them off. Some would call you a genius, others would call you insane, but in reality you're pretty well-adjusted. Take a vacation once in a while- it'll help take your mind off of your troubles.
Which Pixies song are you?

Thursday, April 25th, 2002

(3 dirty birds | i hope that you choke)

Subject:am i asleep? have i slept?
Time:10:29 pm.
Mood:self-loathing, ha ha ha.
Music:?.
today i had my photo taken next to a jackson pollock. bon dieu, c'été si beau. we only had like half an hour in the hirshorn museum, but besides pollock, i saw (oh, oh) mark rothko, (scary) francis bacon, (mmm yeah) willem dekooning, ..who else?.. ahh, dali! warhol! chuck close (eh); MAN it was one of those purely-happy moments. geez, i sound so nerdy.. understand, these guys are exactly like rock stars for me..
so i enjoyed myself there.

anyway, yeah- i really hate writing in here now.

Wednesday, April 10th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Time:11:27 pm.
"i'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy."

(i hope that you choke)

Time:11:22 pm.
i dont know the last time i've felt this bad.

or been this angry.

Sunday, April 7th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:they call them fingers, but i ain't never seen them fing.
Time:11:37 pm.
Mood: indifferent.
Music:love as laughter - shoot me in the head, man..
speaking of fingers, mine are all raw and ripped to shreds and stuff because i just scrubbed a pan like i have never in my life scrubbed. the pan is immaculate, and i feel so accomplished.

today could really be construed as good..... mom picked up pretty antique (!!) jewelry for me to wear to prom. yay. then after work i went to see amber, and that made me happy. i never see her anymore. and after that, i resolved not to go to school tomorrow, and that made me happy too. and then i talked to jill, which was good except that we talked a lot about prom. blech.

and i sewed my gloves tonight, but i didnt get any homework done, or copy the cds, or make the phonecalls i needed too. but that, dear friends, is why there's a tomorrow.

i also learned to parallel park tonight; it was maybe the easiest thing i've ever done. or close to it.

please, nobody talk to me about college.

Friday, April 5th, 2002

(1 dirty bird | i hope that you choke)

Subject:i hate the tv, i hate the tv
Time:10:17 pm.
Mood:angsty.
Music:violent femmes.
and it's killin me....

i am MORE than ready to retreat from society. i am so sick of everything (excluding the girls, thank you.)

visiting corcoran tomorrow, and i have decided that this is where i want to go. interesting, considering that my parents are now dead-set on tyler. fuck.

also- i'm not quite fond of the fact that i am entirely emotionally incapable of any communication... i do this ALWAYS, w/ jill, amber, mom, brett, now jake... and i dont understand why it is so incredibly hard for me to express myself. and it always, w/out fail, serves to make everything infinitely more complicated than it has to be. but, you know what? I DONT CARE. i'm too tired.... or something... to care.

Thursday, April 4th, 2002

(3 dirty birds | i hope that you choke)

Subject:maybe exaggerated, but it still sucked....
Time:10:12 pm.
congratulations, april 4th, you have earned Worst Day Award!!!

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:aah! no sudden movements, ok?
Time:9:24 pm.
Mood: cold.
Music:that's the way uh huh uh huh i like it..
stuck in that "i'm not doing a damn thing" mode... which could be either good or bad.. but i'm going to take a hot bath and i'm all happy about that.

um, today- went to work, hung out at amanda's, cool stuff, blah blah, cant wait to SLEEP.

what else? for the record, the white stripes show on sunday was the best show i've been to yet.

Saturday, March 30th, 2002

(3 dirty birds | i hope that you choke)

Subject:i HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE the future.
Time:11:02 pm.
Mood: ecstatic.
Music:I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL.
or, just choosing colleges. not gonna talk about it though.

because. i. am. going. to. the. white. stripes. concert. tomorrow. and. i. am. so. excited.

eeeeeeeeya. cannot wait. i love rock and roll.

(i hope that you choke)

Time:8:00 am.
i had a great dream. but it made me sad.

and my mp3-getter-thingee won't work.

Friday, March 29th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:like i need a hole in the head
Time:11:03 pm.
Mood:sick of everything.
Music:white stripes - jimmy the exploder. cool..
right now i dont quite know what's going on, and that's pretty cool. tomorrow: applying for a position of employmet at k.mart.. woo hoo! i think i shall work two jobs for a while... until next school year, perhaps. also doing a bit of shopping tomorrow, and jill's coming home... need to develop some tangible, practical plans for sunday. everyone's pissed about sunday. mom: "you realize, you may not go to the concert.." what?! everything has been fine, what's the problem now? damned disorganization... screw it.

and now i'm in trouble because richie was using my screen name to im his friends. terrrrrific.

i'm just afraid of not going sunday. i do so want to go.

Thursday, March 28th, 2002

(1 dirty bird | i hope that you choke)

Subject:tonight i wore dark red lipstick to church.
Time:10:25 pm.
Music:jeff buckley.
and then i found a magazine article about peggy gugenheim in the twenties.
and now i'm drinking chamomile tea.

goodnight.

Wednesday, March 27th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:black and white red and blue
Time:11:05 pm.
Mood:remorse, loathing, etc.
Music:i dont know yet. radiohead..
wow, some things are difficult to pull off.
vacation starts tomorrow; i'm hoping to sleep till saturday. the less time spent conscious, the better; especially the way i cant concentrate lately, its really getting to me. and i know it's getting to other people, too. and i'm sorry. and the extent of it- geez, its just all weird. i just need to back off of people for a while or something. but i feel very bad.
my brother's shoes are huge. i put them on, they're about four inches bigger than my feet.
i cant believe how much i'm eating; its so gross.
and i cant wait till jill comes home again because i need to vent and my back is killing me.
also i feel like i havent talked to amber in years. hi, amber.
now i'm going to go hide under the covers.

Tuesday, March 26th, 2002

(i hope that you choke)

Subject:i need to sleep
Time:10:18 pm.
why is everyone always mad at everyone else?
our car is broken.
tomorrow's only wednsday.
and i've got two exams.
mr. snyder makes me feel like shit.
but everything he says to make me feel like shit is true.
i have to ask for a ride to work again tomorrow.
i feel so bad doing it.
it's almost sunday, right?
did i mention i'm going to see the white stripes on sunday?

LiveJournal for Emily.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.