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[10 Jun 2004|07:17pm] |
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why are we attracted to people who cause us so much grief? or more truthfully, why do we cause ourselves so much grief over people we are attracted to? and the tops of your thighs are stained blue and you're not really sure if they'll ever fade.
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(2 rain drops | pitter patter)
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[09 Jun 2004|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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a little tipsy |
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i should just give up yo! yeah. yeah yeah YOU know what i'm talking about. i mean, what am i waiting for who am i waiting for not you bitch. we played some card games and now princess mononoke is on in the back ground and i just don't care. some people are going bowling and ashley is going to a party and i don't want to wait around so why the fuck should i. but there are so many people that i want to see. i don't want to bowl though. i'm terrible at it. i just woke up michael and now he's mad at me. oh well, what's new.
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(1 rain drop | pitter patter)
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[08 Jun 2004|06:55pm] |
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i don't really think i'm going to miss anyone except for the people that i already miss, two of which i see daily. so it goes. another year gone by, fast and fleeting like butterfly wings and almost as beautiful. i'd rather cling to stardust than cling to you.
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(1 rain drop | pitter patter)
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[07 Jun 2004|05:24pm] |
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i don't know if i can keep up with my own drama anymore. i just want to sweep it all under the rug and wait for someone else to find it. or maybe it could burn holes through the floor boards. get melted by earth's molten core. michael made a four chamber ice bong. i didn't even have the desire to aid in the christening. i just don't like being around people who are always stoned. and me? well now. i haven't smoked since friday. gold stars for me. let's dream in sepia tones together.
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(pitter patter)
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[05 Jun 2004|02:45pm] |
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i'm moving backwards like a broken fish. move backwards with me? let's witness starlight when there was no smog. we can play with volcanic debris and laugh about the lack of land plants. and my stubborn exterior harsh words frowning mouth just flake away like dead skin. i'm a sucker for you (baby).
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(pitter patter)
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[05 Jun 2004|12:37am] |
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i'm appalled at how hurt and betrayed i feel all the time over little things. little kyle things of course. i'm an amazing glorious wreck. a sobbing pitiful wreck wearing a hot black dress with large red roses on it. i'm a hot as fuck wreck. i'm not sure what to do. boys aren't worth this.
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(pitter patter)
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[04 Jun 2004|06:53pm] |
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chelsea got pink eye from a ghost. don't touch door knobs. kathryn cut my hair. it's about all i've seen of her for a while. she did a fine job, but it reminds me too much of the hair cut i got last year in march right before i started dating kyle. the hair cut was all part of my moving on, becoming a new person yada yada. oh well, can't have everything.
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(pitter patter)
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| get me away i'm dying |
[03 Jun 2004|01:02pm] |
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mood |
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hunched over |
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music |
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belle and sebastian |
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did you know? there's a whole world out there and some of it's smiling. did you know around the corner cobwebs glistening with dew are waiting did you know? trees illuminated in street lights. a moon so full it may burst and shower us with moon food. what do moons eat? hot springs and rice cakes. there's this boy, a sad boy who plays the clarinet a sad boy who rides my skateboard around campus and who thought the nights we lay naked on his bed watching movies were dull because we did it too often. but now it's gone and is he sorry?
there's this girl who's regressed to middle school mentality and lets the word fuck escape her lips far too often. she eats too much and smokes too much and reads books hungrily searching for something to satisfy uknown cravings. she wants to dig through concrete with her hands. she wants to find the other side of the world.
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(pitter patter)
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[03 Jun 2004|11:25am] |
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i cried a lot last night. i kept thinking about him kissing my cheek and holding my hand and i felt terrible about my behavior. but the annonymous commenter from washington DC is correct. bullshit or no, i've got a life to live. and right now it can't include him. another beautiful day. and i've got some toilets to clean yo. READY SET GO.
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(pitter patter)
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[03 Jun 2004|01:07am] |
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here's to you and here's to me and the love we thought was self sustainable. here's to touring corvallis parks at night. here's to star gazing in the bed of your truck. here's to fucking in the bed of your truck. here's to ice cream and holding hands and hefner. here's to phantom of the opera. here's to you and here's to me and here's to a year gone by. gone being the key word. i don't want to be a daisy. i have nowhere to take root.
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(1 rain drop | pitter patter)
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[02 Jun 2004|11:10pm] |
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i look so young in my icon. i'm going to go find a pair of scissors. if i can see beyond the tears. there really is something wrong with me. i'm not just cute crazy.
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(pitter patter)
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[02 Jun 2004|06:59pm] |
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I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF CARING ABOUT OTHER HUMANS. BOOKS. I WILL ONLY CARE ABOUT BOOKS FROM NOW ON. THEY HURT LESS.
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(1 rain drop | pitter patter)
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[02 Jun 2004|04:31pm] |
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i definitely cried last night. desperately wanted scissors to cut off my hair with, but could not find them. and now i think the urge has passed. today i got up and wrote a paper. bought some colored pencils in order to do my makeup project. i think i'll do that now. who knows really.
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(pitter patter)
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[02 Jun 2004|12:28am] |
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luckily the screen is white now and i can't see what's behind me reflected in it. today was really beautiful. i went on a bike ride, smelled some roses, looked at clouds. i don't remember if i cried. kyle looked miserable and hot in his sweater but wouldn't take it off because his shirt was dirty. poor guy. out of shirts. i did some laundry yesterday and ate good pizza and watched a good movie. tonight we saw eating raul and i laughed. i can't even be in the same room as them. i want to rip my toe nails off. i have a paper to write tonight but i'll wait 'til tomorrow of course. because tomorrow is a new day. well, no shit, but what good will that do me. fuck you world.
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(pitter patter)
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[01 Jun 2004|03:23pm] |
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my inclination is to hide under covers crying where it's dark and not all that comfortable since there is generally dirt in my bed and my inclination is to say fuck you to everyone i love and then crawl under covers my inclination is to spurn the sun and give up on love. but instead, i'll go strawberry picking, because i imagine that i will enjoy it much more than any of my inclinations.
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(pitter patter)
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[01 Jun 2004|11:12am] |
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my favorite bright eyes song is playing in the other room. the one that makes me want to have sex. last night i dreamt that i turned twenty and then made out with the director of my pocket show and then went to a wedding with my mom. i woke up with a glob of green slime at the back of my throat. my face is greasy from make up remover. today, we transformed our faces into skulls. i can't help but wonder what i'm still doing here.
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(1 rain drop | pitter patter)
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[31 May 2004|09:04pm] |
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and i don't have the gumption to jump up and down screaming look at me look at me i'm beginning to believe that i'm invisible/ and i just want a wreath of flowers for my hair/
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(pitter patter)
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[30 May 2004|06:37pm] |
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yesterday i got two compliments on my hair from cashiers at the same establishment. first time i was buying tofu and mac and cheese and cake and the second time i went to buy juice. it was crazy. they both had far far cooler hair than i. the girl had lots of little braids and the guy had really big curly hair with massive side burns. i haven't brushed my hair in days, and that whole blond roots dark hair thing is completely unintentional. i've seen girls who have bleached their roots. do not understand it. have to go to annoying meeting now. and then do dishes. and then watch delicatessen. or something. we'll see la de da.
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(pitter patter)
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[30 May 2004|04:35pm] |
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i'm getting crankier by the moment. that is all i have to say.
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(pitter patter)
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[29 May 2004|12:32pm] |
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event: or rather, lack there of. mundane but turned into noun. mundaneness? mundanity? inspirational classical music filters in from the kitchen. you look at your last sentence and feel like you're writing interactive fiction. to your left sits a dresser. (command: look.) it is an ordinary dresser with four drawers and brass handles. (command: open drawer). which drawer? (command: open top drawer). inside the drawer lies a key. (command: take key). taken. i'm being deleted.
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(1 rain drop | pitter patter)
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