Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Spanish Lard's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, July 17th, 2004
2:45 am	It is a blur Everything over the past month has been covered by a haze. My perception of time is gone, yet I've enjoyed moment of it. So productive. About 5 short films and over 90 songs recorded durimg this period of greatness. Though once it fades and the drugs are gone again, I may never regain it again. Current Mood: listless Current Music: Junkie Nurse- Royal Trux (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
7:37 am	In Memory of You I fell through the earth, upon the realization of your absence And I felt pain for the first time. For weeks, I re-enacted your life in my mind And with every memory, I smiled as I cried. Your friendship taught me all that I ever wanted to know, And your absence has shown me all that I never wanted to see. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to be there for you, As you had been there for me. Shallow revelation Chaste minds and counterfeit joy Grasp each other in my presence. I turn my cheek And awake with a piece of mind. Still in the shadow of dogma I remain weary. Questioning the naïve reality that has me confined. Now. Clutching my essence as I look above sardonically. I realize that the tapering minds have pierced my senses once again. Content With Chaos Content with chaos Determinism My genetic disposition My environmental condition Mythical free will and The cost of individuality Vividly displayed Upon my duality The surface within Internal fascism Facing my sin To spite reality Order within chaos Coinciding with order Nil Co-opting neglect And ignorance together We fade Into the absence of free will (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 20th, 2003
1:50 pm	My bands web page Every body should visit my bands new web page. It currently features five of our songs. Our song "The Rape of America" should not be missed, it features our manipulation of George W's speeches so that he says things such as "I'm trying hard to rape most Americans" and "I come from incest." check it out at http://artists.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/FESCENNINE_NEWBORNE/ (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 6th, 2003
9:32 pm	Oh man Went back to school today. This wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that I felt sick as shit for most of the day. At least I had a good break, Other than the fact that virtually none of my family showed up for Christmas, and that my youngest sister ran away on new years eve. I was able to record a good amount of music for FESCENNINE NEWBORNE'S still unfinished album that we've been working on for the past six months. I also had quite a few crazy nights, especially this last Saturday night when my friend's band, Preparation Rae played a show. The show was as chaotic and as funny as hell. Ray came out wearing a crazy outfit (that I helped him pick out) which consisted of bright green pants, electrical tape over his nipples, and a gold chain with a clock on it around his neck. About half way through the first song, our friend Aaron jumped up on stage and just sat in front of the drum set for no aparent reason. Jakes guitar went out of tune pretty badly, so the rest of the band started an impromptu jam. Ray started telling some random story that he made up about tarantulas in heat jumping up and down, and then he gave the mic to Aaron you just started say every cuss word he could think of as fast as possible. Finally, before the last song Rae said to the audience "gee, isn't it too bad that we don't have a guy in an orange poncho to spit on" as I ran on stage wearing an orange poncho and Jake and Ray began spitting on me.Well thats it. Current Mood: thirsty Current Music: Ministry-The Mind is a Terrible thing to Taste (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 3rd, 2002
9:21 pm	Pleasantly dissoriented. A pretty bizarre thing happened today. I went to college even though I didn't have any classes today because I'm in a play and our first performance was at noon. I got to the college about an hour before our dress rehearsal, and I realized that I knew hardly anybody there since I only go on monday, wednesday, and friday. Eventually I ran into Justin who was hanging out with this guy. Justin asked how my band was going and the guy he was hanging out with asked what sort of music we made. I told him that we are an experimental/industrial band he said right on, that's pretty much what my band makes too. So anyways we started talking about our favorite bands and we had an uncanny similarity in what we liked. Then we started talking about how many instruments we can play and how we should do a side project together. Eventually I was playing him the demo of my bands new cd and he loved it. After this it go sorta weird. I proceeded to tell him that he should listen to some of my solo stuff. After about fifteen seconds of listening to the song I made that consisted of George W. Bush's manipulated speeches, he took the headphones off and said, "Did you really make this song," and I told him how I had made it on my computer. At this point he made some form of orgasmic screech, gave me a high five and said, that he had heard this song on the radio and said it was probably the coolest thing that he had ever heard on the radio. How weird is that, I actually had a fan that was a complete stranger. I almost feel like I'm famous. Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: Audioslave- Self Titled (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 14th, 2002
9:36 pm	You can be 902 Again, life is disorienting. The last couple of weeks have been a well documented blur. I can't even begin to explain the shitty confused feeling I get when I think about the fact that my music was actually played on the radio, but I was too tired to stay up and listen to it. All my friends have seemed very strange lately also. I hate triangles. I just got off the phone with my friend Ray, and we were half way joking about how we should start a 12 person rap group and call it "Crotch Rocket:The New Civil War" where each member is as ugly as Ray and I, and we all were pink speedos that have either American flags or confederate flags. Not to mention that I have two major tests tomarrow. Current Mood: distressed Current Music: 311-The Omaha Sessions (Comment on this)
Monday, November 4th, 2002
10:15 pm	Ok, ok! Well, last Friday was great. Ray's band was amazing (I especially liked it when somebody threw a sticker on stage, and Ray put it on his bare chest.) On Friday, I also got to see my old best friend Nick who I've known since I was six, but hadn't seen for a couple of years. On top of all of this, on Friday I also found out that a possibly very controversial song that I made (it mainly consists of George W. Bush saying things that he shouldn't be saying thanks to my digital manipulation skills) has made it into the hands of somebody who runs a radio show on the local FM radio station KBOO in between 3 and 6 in the morning on Saturdays, and they want to play it. It also sound like they plan on playing some of the other songs that I've done with my band member Ray and even some of his solo stuff. Finally, people are enjoying my odd musical creations. Current Music: Melt Banana- Cactuses Come in Flocks (Comment on this)
Monday, October 28th, 2002
9:42 pm	Twelve is a number Man, life can be very disorienting. Sometimes the haze that is created by school, chemicals, social interaction, and music can mask everything else. Somehow in the past few weeks I've managed to get straight A's at school, make the best music of my entire life, and have some of the best times I've ever had with my friends, and it all seems like a triangular haze. The past three weeks have seemed more like three days, and I've felt very detached even though the hemispheres of my brain seem to be in tune. At least my friend Ray's other band (Preparation Rae)is playing a show this Friday. It will be great, especially since I helped write some of the lyrics in almost all of their songs. I may even get to go on stage and act like a jack-ass, and even if that doesn't pan out, at least I'll know thirty or so of the people who show up. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Preparation Rae/ Demo (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 20th, 2002
9:29 pm	Breaking your heart Obliviously I threw your heart to the ground To the sound of shared tears Due to the moral dilemma You have no control I have no control And this is all we are able to share Current Music: Front 242/ Front by Front (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 9th, 2002
8:44 pm	Recent events So I've started school again. Received an A on an essay in writing class today. Since I'm going on monday, wednesday, and friday instead of tuesday and thursday, I don't get to see many of my friends any more. Luckily the few friends who I do get to see have introduced me to many stimulating and humorous people. The highlight of today was when my friend Matt decided to juggle golf balls when one of them got loose and bounced into a trash can; at this point I realized that it was my mission to retrieve it. While half of my body was in the trash can, one the janitors came out and yelled in a rather angry fashion, "What's going on here guys" to which Matt exclaimed "oh, he's just retrieving one of my balls." Current Music: Boredoms- Soul Discharge (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 29th, 2002
9:37 pm	Nutritional Facts I get to go back to college tomarrow. Even though it costs me an arm and a testicle I am looking forward to it (even if it means I will be broke for a while.) Can't wait to show all my friends the music I made over the summer. Current Mood: giddy Current Music: FESCENNINE NEWBORN/ Demo of our unfinished album (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 17th, 2002
10:44 pm	My new rappin alter ego, and why college sucks. Last night, the strangest thing happened. I decided that I was going make a rap album. The idea has proved so entertaining that I've already wrote the lyrics, programmed the beat, and recorded a rough demo of the first song. I've even chosen a name to go by, "Lively A." Some of the lyrics go like "I'm lively A, and the A's for air condition, 'cuz tipping over cows is my number one mission." Now to the what I want to complain about. After spending hours deciding what classes I should take to continue working on my associates transfer degree in psychology, I logged onto the college website to register for these classes when the computer informed me that I wasn't allowed to do so and that I need to contact the college. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Nirvana- Bleach (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 15th, 2002
9:02 pm	I am 61-80% Ghetto I AM ghetto. And you know this- MAN. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 14th, 2002
10:46 pm	Kirilo is so hot Today, veggie burgers with Ray at some western themed resaurant. On thursday we recorded another masterpiece, this one was of a plunderphonic nature. The main part of the song is a sample we got from recording an old 45 record titled "santa's surprise" in it's entirety at 78 rpm. We then recorded over many parts of the record and it turned out to be the most humorous and artsy songs I've ever heard, let alone made. As an example of how funny the song is, at one part santa explains that we have just arrived at the north pole and when we enter his toy factory a bunch of toys yell "surprise" after which we put a sample that say's "santa's gonna kill your mommy" which is followed by a scream, machine gun fire, and laughter, after wich it goes back to the record where santa exclaims "isn't that a great surprise." Current Mood: creative Current Music: Ex-Girl/ Return to the Mono Kero (Comment on this)
Monday, August 26th, 2002
9:54 pm	I was wondering why none of my shirts fit right What Really Weird Thingy Are You? Find out @ blackhole (Comment on this)
9:22 pm	as of late Just got back from a trip to Eastern Oregon to see my grandpa. The whole trip seemed like a caffeine induced blur. In other news, I may be joining another band, since I have already helped write lyrics to half of their songs (their singer happens to be the other member in my main band.) If nothing else, I'll get to be a guest musician. Either way I'm very flattered considering how blown away I was when I saw them jam for the first time the other week. With all of the genre and time changes, the best way I could describe them is as a cross between Bad Brains and Mr. Bungle. My main band may also be getting a new member. Good night now. Current Music: Devo-Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA (Comment on this)
Monday, August 12th, 2002
8:00 pm	Large insects Last week was perhaps the most disorienting period of time I have experienced in years. I can't even remember monday, tuesday, or wendseday. On thursday, I remember working and then going swimming with my uncle and his girlfriends kids. I got very little sleep that night. On friday, my uncle picked me up early in the morning. We grabbed some mocha and went to some garage sales where I bought another cheap keyboard. After this we went up the hills along the river to go swimming. There were many advantages to this distant point on the river including the fact that there was nobody else there, the water is very clean, and it is also very deep. The one problem is that the water is extremely cold since your very close to the mountains. After this I met my friend and band mate Ray at my house so that we could record more songs for our next album. After we each had a couple of energy drinks, we began recording. We recorded about three songs, but the best one was a song that lasted a little over a minute and started with a blues part, then went to gothic metal, then a fifties inspired rock part, then a reggae part, then a gothic metal part, then another reggae part, then a country part, then an experimental part, then another fifties inspired rock part, and it ended with some more gothic metal. Since this song was so complex, it took us forever to record it. Despite the fact that it was dark out once we finished recording, we decided to go to the river and swim anyways. Then on saturday I had to get up early again since my family and I were celebrating my birthday (even though it wasn't until sunday) by going to the coast. We stopped at a little mexican restaurant on the way home and it was very pleasant. When we got home my parents gave me my gift which was a 76 key yamaha keyboard. Even though I love my collection of cheap keyboards, I must admit that it is nice to have a high quality one finally. On sunday I had to get up early again after getting very little sleep so that I could go swimming with my uncle again. (The weirdest thing about the day was that it was my birthday, yet it didn't feel like it at all since my uncle didn't even realize it was my birthday until later when I corrected him on my age.)This time he brought his girlfriend and the kids. We went to the same place that we had discovered on friday and we spent about five hours at the river. While we were there, it was decided that I could crash at my uncles house so we could go fishing the next day, something I hadn't done in years. We woke up early this morning so we could get every thing ready and go fishing. After we had started packing, and I had shelled out twenty dollars for a fishing license, my uncle decided he was just to exhausted and sun burnt to wanna sit in the sun and fish. I've spent the rest of today in a haze. This is the conclusion to my long and boring journal entry. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Boredoms- Vision Creation Newsun (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 6th, 2002
10:03 pm	Humming Yesterday I experienced a great completion so today was a great emptiness. At least my band, Fescennine Newborn is still moving along. I started working on our website and also designed an image that will most likely be on the first shirts we print up, and possibly the cover to our next album. It's a picture that Ray took of our friend Katie holding a skeleton in front of her head which I took and manipulated so that the only two colors in the image are red and black. That is all. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Boredoms- God from Anal (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 2nd, 2002
9:57 pm	Disorder Rating Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Very High Antisocial: Low Borderline: Moderate Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: Low Avoidant: Very High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: Low -- Click Here To Take The Test -- (Comment on this)
9:37 pm	Staple Yesterday and the day that came before it were spent with my friends Chris and Ray. Chris' house and the river were the two central points of convergence. We did the usual; we created metal sculptures in Chris' shop with considerable success, and we tried to meet women at the river with no success. Unfortunately for Chris and Ray, my appearance must ruin their chances also. Then again, there is a small chance I could be wrong. Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Merzbow- Voice Pie (Comment on this)