1:09AM
I got a new car. It's pretty damn cool. Looks like we're going to war...blah...I didn't vote for him! Oh well. Support your troops anyways people.
Current mood: 
sore
soreCurrent music: buried myself alive-the used
I can't listen to any of those somgs they play on the radio with the clips from the soilders and their families cuz they make me cry. damnit, i was in publix today and saw the cover of people with jessica lynch on it and that almost made me cry! i'm all registered at ucf. apparently 400 people apply to the nursing program each spring, and only 90 are accepted
I got a new car. It's pretty damn cool. Looks like we're going to war...blah...I didn't vote for him! Oh well. Support your troops anyways people.
soreWhat up people? I know it's been a little while since I've written in here. Life has become a combination of work and school. Fun huh. But spring break is this week and I think some fun things are going to happen. I got into UCF and USF, just waiting to hear on UF. Now that most of this school and apartment crap is settled I feel better. The past year and a half or so have been hard but now that I've gotten help and gone through my "identity crisis", I feel...dare I say it..optimistic! I actually have hope for the future! Maybe that hostess had a point when she said "You have to have hope! Hope is the meaning of life! Blah blah blah hope." Time to go eat my pizza and get ready for work...we have a new menu and it sucks. Damn Red-Lobster wannabees...
satisfiedMy brother is going to South Korea for a year. I'm not sure which one is worse, South Korea or Iraq...because I was at Starbucks today and I looked down at the NY Times and it had a headline to the effect of "Satellite Monitoring Reported Activity at a North Korean Nuclear Facility". But on the positive side, he's coming home for a little bit before he leaves. So we can have some fun and celebrate our birthdays too! Wa-hoo. I have to go to work tomorrow again nooooo don't make me ahhhh! Supposedly the Carraba's on 4th St. is opening later this month. I am sooo applying there, and at that P.F. Chang's opening in WestShore. Never been there but it looks nice and it's gotta be better than Perkins. I haven't been drunk in 6 weeks! Ahhh sobriety..I'm turning my life around...really. And I think Bright Futures neglected to pay my tuition at SPC. I gotta get on that. Online classes are easy. Anyhoo, time to get ready for dinner.
okayGod bless the miracle that is selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors. I'm glad I finally went. Just sitting around doing my sociology homework. Next weekend will be of the same boring quality too but that's okay since I'm planning on going out of town on 3 separate ocasions in February amd that will require money, which I need to conserve right now. I finished sending out all my applications and everything and I've spent about 100 bucks on it. Grrr. Oh well. I should know in a month, although I'll probably get into every school thanks to Mr. GPA. Perkins sucks. I have to work on Sunday from 3-11. WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO BE THERE?! NO ONE!!! They just need to close the restaurant. Man it snowed in Daytona Beach today and I missed it!! My first chance to see snow and actually REMEMBER it cuz it doesn't count that I saw it when I was three because I don't remember it. Snow is fun. Actually how would I know.
okayWell Merry Christmas to everyone...hope it was good day. Last night I went to....church! It was cool cause they turned out the lights and gave us all candles. We never got to do stuff like that in synagogue/temple/jewish place of worship. Tonight I went to dinner with my mom and grandma at the Pasadena Steak House. My mom and grandma got drunk and were acting all crazy. I'm just innocently eating my vegetables when my mom busts out with "so is your brother still a virgin?! how many people has he had sex with?!" Then she's like "more importantly, are YOU still a virgin?!" I think I died on the table...the crazyness. I got a job! I got a job! And it's not in steak house! Yes!! It is in the Perkins opening up soon here...haha it's just opening and I've never served before and I'm gonna be a server! God, what have I gotten myself into...oh well, I'll learn or something. Why is that "Blurry" song by Puddle of Mudd on the radio everytime I turn it on? There's oceans in between us but that's not very farrrr. Time for sleep. G'night all.
calm
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I went to the hot tub by myself tonight. And the mall too! It is intersting doing all these things by myself, but I guess I better get used it. Can't sit around being bored and waiting for someone available. I think that's one of my problems...always waiting for someone to rescue me. It is really hard staying here. But my bro is coming home tomorrow!! Hence, 2 weeks of sleeping on the couch for me. Ahhhh I can't escape it!! Me and couches...man...but it should be cool having him here. I have the strange feeling that this is the last time I'm gonna see him for awhile. So tomorrow I have to go with my rents to pick him up and then I think miss Jessica is having her 20th bday dinner. Haha I will be the 7th wheel there (don't ask). Damnit I need a job. I applied at restaurant called "Rib City". I've been a vegetarian for almost 9 FREAKIN YEARS and I'm going to work in a RIB RESTAURANT. Well not going to yet, we'll see. I was thinking in the hot tub about what to do, and I still have no clue. Maybe I should be a teacher. So far, the list stands at: psychologist, psychiatrist, pediatrican, nurse, teacher for the young'uns. The first 3 require lots of school. I'm not sure I can financially survive 6 more years of college, since I don't have a car anymore because my dad is a...ohhh we won't go there. I bet he reads this when I'm not around. Anyways, there is still hope: I will just go to a school where someone can drive my ass around. Granted, this leaves me with two choices: UF or UCF. Or USF if I want to stay in hell. I just want to move somewhere and not move again for at least 2 years and be happy!! Everyone has their lives in order, so I'm gonna follow the trend. I will pick a career! I will get rid of all this crap that I've been carrying around! I will be happy damnit!!! Hey I spent $500 fixing that stupid car. They just used me for the repairs! Anger level rising...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the bright side, I get to go to Hawaii this summer!! And New Jersey...haha. I found a cheap hotel near Yuliana's base...$448 for one week..and since Tom's got the airfare it is financially feasible! We might have to eat lots of ramen noodles while we're there but oh well. A small price to pay. Well I should get to sleep since I'm expected to wake up at 9am tomorrow and help my dad "clean for the Sabbath". Did I mention how much I hate staying here?! God damnit why can't my family just be a little more normal!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!? Alright, I'm getting out of bitch mode. Laters!
irritatedAnother winter, another cold where the green snot and man voice does not stop. So I'm just sitting here, blowing my nose and listening to music. I'm gonna go watch the movie Drumline with Andra at 10. Nothing's really been happening. Things aren't going so well at home,I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don’t wanna go back to that place, but don’t have
no choice, no way
It ain’t easy growin up in World War III
Never knowin what love could be, well I've seen
I don’t want love to destroy me like it did my
family.
Thank you, Pink. Anyways I'm thinking this was a big mistake. It's all a big freakin mistake! I went to SPC and tried to register for some more classes. Realized that it would take a year to complete my a.a., which means a year of here! Which sucks. Yeah, free rent, but the family and no social activities whatsoever. I think I'm just going to work and leave in May. So I'm dropping out, but not really. I'd like to think of it as "taking a break". I wish I could go back in time 2 years ago and knock some sense into my stupid ass. I'm gonna take my bitching elsewhere...later!
bitchyThe mother of all ulcers is currently taking over my stomach. Man I don't think it hurt this much when I went to the emergency room last year. Apparently life-altering decisions and exams at the same time is a very stressful combo.
sickI must be crazy..why does it have to be so difficult??? Stupid financial aid. Stupid housing. Stupid everything. I know I can't stay here though. It's my life and I'm responsible for making it what I want it to be..yeah..that's it..just hope I'm not making a big mistake..no fear!
scaredBack in St. Petersburg with the family to celebrate Thanksgiving. The 5 days off would be a hell of a lot better if I didn't have HOMEWORK to do. Oh well. Went to the store today and then saw "8 Crazy Nights" with Jess and Mark and Suzy. Always cool spending time with them so it was a good night with the exception of my usual downer mood. Started to feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness with all this holiday crap and happy couples. But I'm not missing much anyways...and besides, I still have good friends who are there for me and the relationship with my family that I've always wanted. See, I remembered the purpose of this holiday...be thankful for what you have and all that other bs. So no grumpiness, I swear! Happy Thanksgiving everyone..hope you guys have a good time!
calmBack from Atlanta! Yeah it was cold. Everyone laughed at me everytime I whined "I want to go back to Florida!!" It was an interesting experience though. Just wish I had gotten to see more of downtown Atlanta and go to some clubs/restaurants/whatever. Oh well. It would also have been nice if we won some awards!! Every school from Florida that went won one except for us and UCF. There's speculation that the board likes to give out awards only to the founding universities and the schools that they went to. Well duh. Plus no one takes us seriously cause we're all pilots and engineers and if we did better than some people who are political science/international relations majors then what does that say about their whole educational system??? That it's flawed! Damn conspiracies. Only 2 days of class this week! Yeahhh this semester needs to be over right now. I can't believe it's been so long. It's weird being exposed to something every day and then one day it's just not there anymore. But I know what's good for me. I really need to decide what I'm doing next semester. If I'm gonna keep going here I need to get another job. Dude I'm tired of sleeping through my classes cause they're too easy and I don't care...I'm tired of only being able to eat because of Tom (not to knock Tom who has helped me get through this semester more than anyone else). I'm tired of getting paid only $5.25 an hour!! Even though I like my job..blah. I really want to do something with my life. I don't want to just be some dude's wife, which is the way it looks like right now. I'm gonna spend all this money on this stupid degree and not be able to find a job and end up falling in love with some asshole and married for 10 years until he leaves me for his secretary and leaves the kiddies with me, the unemployable psych major. And then what?!?! This entry's getting too personal. I always said I'd never have one of these damn things. Haha but look where that one went. "Unsinkable ships sink"..man there is a country song for everything. I think I've been listening to too much country lately. I know I just need to suck it up and do it. I know what I want but I'm never gonna get it if I just sit here and whine about how I'll never be able to do it. Well time to actually start writing the paper. "Why would I want Purina when I have Fancy Feast right here?" Haha I love the Simpsons. This song isn't that bad either.
"trying hard to fill the emptiness inside"
"you are beautiful, no matter what they say..words can't bring you down"
discontentDeveloped my pictures yesterday for the hf project and well, they suck! I'm a really bad photographer. Ughh I'm going to get like a z- on this project. But I did find one cute picture in there from when my brother came to visit:
http://hometown.aol.com/jessaroni83/myhomepage/index.html
Unfortunately I have no idea how to get the picture to show up in here. Oh well, that's a task for another day. I probably should get back to work. Stupid human factors. So I started off on the wrong path..nothing wrong with that. It takes time to figure stuff out. Best just to live life looking ahead...and not having any regrets.
lazyDamn, it is cold outside! I actually got to turn out the heat today...yep, this just reaffirms the fact that I'm going to freeze my ass off in Atlanta. This semester is almost over!! Only 10 more class days for me! Went and saw Harry Potter yesteday..
GoldKat12: ohhh so i saw harry potter yesterday and
GoldKat12: the guy's name was riddle!
MamoPicha: yeah!! see, evilness = riddle!!
GoldKat12: i was like "haha" and everyone was like "what's so funny?"
GoldKat12: LOL that's what i said!!
And the only other Riddle person in the theater who understood was Tom..oh well..it's still slightly humorous. Now I have to go take random pictures of things that are bad human factors for this project that's due Tuesday..10 pictures and 10 descriptions due..yep...ahhh! I want to change my major!! But more on that later.
coldLet's see..what is going on the life of Ji? I keep sleeping through human factors 1...if I miss it again I get points deducted from my grade...ahhh! Went to an air show for our homecoming yesterday. Certainly don't see enough planes around here as it is. Hahaha. And today I met my parents at the Orlando premium outlets in an attempt to find my suit. We ended up at the more affordable Belz outlets, and I got this jacket/skirt/or pants suit thing, and a shirt. This is gonna take some getting used to. Even my mom laughed at me when I tried it on! "I'm just not used to seeing you like that." Yeah, me neither. Some dude tried to sell us African totem pole statues out of his car when he drove by us in the parking lot. Yep, there are some weird people in Orlando. Only 11 more days till Atlanta! This is the first time in 3 years that I've left Florida. Kinda sad huh...I feel okay now though. Lots of things have turned around. My parents are helping me out with the money as much as they can... and we actually get along now! It's the best it's ever been. Just this and other things have made me realize that nothing is ever completley hopeless. Well, maybe of couple of things. There's always an exception to the rule.But things can really change! That is my profound thought for the night.
optimisticSooo..not much going on here. I didn't go out out on Halloween cause of the damn un meeting and aviation psych homework. Went to 600 North last night...I'm officially changing my name to Jessica "binge-drinker" Hensley. Did you ever notice that they don't have a hungover mood smiley?? Actually I didn't really have that much last night...Angie did most of the drinking. This Wednesday is the career fair...exciting stuff. I have to go get a suit and be all professional. I have no idea why I am still doing this human factors stuff...lack of any better ideas? Inertia? Lots of school crap due over the next couple of weeks.
apatheticI know most of you don't go to private schools and some of you may not vote. But here's a letter I received from the save our frag (florida resident access grant) people. While this grant only goes to people at private schools, apparently if amendment 9 is passed bright futures might be cut too. and i know almost everyone has that. So basically, vote no on amendment 9!
You previously registered to help us Save the FRAG (Florida
Resident Access Grant) for over 30,000 Florida students and
families.
If you no longer wish to receive communications from us, please
see the remove link at the end of this email.
This is an URGENT email that you may have already received from
the President of your institution. Please read and act on this
NOW. A potential catastrophe of gargantuan proportions looms in
front of us. It could cause the total elimination of the FRAG,
Bright Futures Scholarships, all state-based financial aid
programs and many other education initiatives.
This is a serious threat to the future of all Florida students
and families. Please do everything you can in the next week to
help us avoid some severe repercussions.
On November 5th Florida voters will be voting on Amendment #9,
also known as the "Class Size Reduction Amendment." However, it
could also be called the "Education Reduction Amendment," the
"Social Services Reduction Amendment," or even the "Law
Enforcement Reduction Amendment," as most experts say these
areas would almost all face huge reductions in state allocations
if this Amendment passes.
Class size reduction is a good idea and a worthy goal. No one
understands that better than The Independent Colleges and
Universities of Florida where one of our key selling points to
potential students is the smaller class sizes we offer as
compared to the State University System. It is, indeed, a
primary reason for many students selecting our institutions.
However, passage of this Amendment will be a disaster for
education in Florida. The Gainesville Sun, the hometown
newspaper of the University of Florida and always supportive of
educational advancements, says, "There are lots of arguments
about whether smaller class size is really crucial to learning.
Under the circumstances, we would argue that it doesn't matter
whether that's true. Because the problem with Amendment 9 is
that if it passes, the Legislature will almost certainly fund
the mandate by cannibalizing the rest of public education."
In announcing their opposition to the Amendment, Jane Gross,
President of the Florida League of Women Voters said,
"Specifying the size of classes in our state Constitution will
create chaos in the attempt to fund all education programs and
will perhaps place other programs at risk as well."
Virtually every aspect of education opposes this Amendment,
including local school superintendents, various school boards,
principals and administrators, and the entire higher education
community.
Here is a partial listing of various statewide editorials and
opinion columns detailing the reasons to oppose this Amendment:
http://www.gainesvillesun.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2002210210015
http://www.news-journalonline.com/2002/Oct/7/OPN1.htm
http://www.theledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2002210200391&Profile;=1036
http://www.floridatoday.com/!NEWSROOM/opedstoryA32758A.htm
http://tampatrib.com/News/MGAW9WLKD7D.html
http://jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/100902/met_10649205.shtml
Here are some information links for a more in-depth study of the
issue:
http://www.protectflorida.com/index.htm
http://www.fadss.org/
http://www.cepri.state.fl.us/
If we don't get the word out -- and get the word out now -- this
Amendment will pass and the painful dismantling of all we've
worked for will begin.
So, what can you do?
1. There are a lot of amendments on the ballot so please be
careful when you vote and be sure and vote NO on Amendment 9.
2. Send this email NOW to five of your friends and relatives who
live in Florida and include a short personal note asking them to
please read and act now.
3. Send a Letter to the Editor of your local newspaper today
(see the end of this email).
4. When you are engaged in conversations about this year's
elections, be sure and share your opinion and the facts about
Amendment 9.
THIS WILL TAKE 5 MINUTES -- PLEASE DO THIS TODAY:
Please EMAIL a Letter to the Editor of your local newspaper in
the NEXT FEW MINUTES (See links to most major papers at the end
of this email).
** Be sure and abide by the rules of the newspaper. Generally
they require the writer's full name, address, e-mail address and
telephone. Letters should be kept to 300 words or less.
** State which school you attend (or support) and BRIEFLY
describe how you think Amendment 9 could affect your future if
it's passed.
** Make the point that class size reduction is a good idea, but
this is a bad Amendment.
Please write and email your letter now. They need to appear
early next week so that we can influence the undecided voters
who are looking for information on this issue.
Please fax us a copy of your letter when it appears in your
newspaper. Fax to 1-850-681-0057.
Thanks again for all that you do.
The Independent Colleges and Universities of Florida
Links for Letters to the Editor:
Please remember to include your full name, address, e-mail
address and telephone. Letters should be kept to 300 words or
less.
Miami Herald
HeraldEd@herald.com
Sun-Sentinel
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/opinion/sfl-letterseditor.customform
Palm Beach Post
http://www.gopbi.com/partners/pbpost/info/mail.html
Orlando Sentinel
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/orl-sendaletter.htmlstory
Daytona Beach News Journal
http://www.n-jcenter.com/letters.htm#form
Tampa Tribune
http://tampatrib.com/opinion/lettertotheeditor.htm
St. Petersburg Times
http://connect.sptimes.com/contactus/letterstoeditor.html
Florida Today
http://www.floridatoday.com/forms/services/letters.htm
St. Augustine Record
http://www.staugustine.com/opinions/
Florida Times Union
http://jacksonville.com/tu-online/opinion/letters_policy.html
Tallahassee Democrat
tdedit@taldem.com
Gainesville Sun
voice@gvillesun.com
Lakeland Ledger
voice@theledger.com
Pensacola News Journal
http://www.pensacolanewsjournal.com/news/102102/Opinion/Index.shtml#e-mail
Sarasota Herald Tribune
http://www.newscoast.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=OPINION04
To be removed from this mailing visit:
http://www.optinpro.com/scripts/remove.asp?u=402&i;=2968837
My dad sent me the letters my brother sent the family a couple of days ago. They're very upsetting letters. And apparently his boot camp is the hardest one in the country and it is like an "endless rerun of Full Metal Jacket". And drill seargants hit people and call them all pussies.
"they pushed us into crowded cattle cars and stampeded us out..."
"because we're preparing for war"
I know boot camp is hard and what the hell else did I expect for him (stupid misleading history channel show!!) but still, that's my little brother...i know he can do it though
must change song...depressing...
sadPresident Bush made a visit to lovely Volusia County today...Air Force One comes into dab (the code for the daytona beach airport) and of course the whole school goes outside to watch it land. And then they all go back inside before the president comes out, lol. "look at all my loyal supporters! oh no wait...they're just plane nerds". Later that day during the model un meeting, everyone hears it taking off....they knock over some chairs and RUN outside to observe and take pictures. Come on people..you've seen one 747, you've seen them all!
And I'm in trouble because I don't know who Norway's king is.
Stupid Iraq people have it so easy. What's there to remember about that?!
I went on SRMUN's website today and looked at all the other schools that are going...ucf's gonna be Singapore..haha...Singapore...almost as funny as Norway
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