Paul & Carls daily diatribe

I just found an entire nest of obscene nursery ryhmes, perfect for equipping little Taylah and Daryl with just the vocabulary required to be a well-rounded guttersnipe. (Some of them are pretty funny as well- I recommend the transexual Jack and Jill).

This character will no doubt be sent to Coventry (unless he already lives there) by his perpetually outraged acquaintances, but here’s a site by a self-acknowledged leftist critical of the anti-war left, and especially the infiltration and highjacking of the anti-war movement by hardline Islamofascist yahoos, anti-American ideologues and anti-Semitic moonbats.

I disagree with a lot of his ideas, but admire his bottle to actually criticise his own political leaning; they’re not exactly known for tolerence of dissident views and those seen to be out of step- think Bjorn Lomborg and Christopher Hitchens.

Worth reading the whole series of essays- he even gives the Saint Augustine of Socialism Pilger a serve.

From the London Daily Telegraph- columnist Mark Steyn writes on the Kerry campaign:-

IT was classic Kerry: verbose, shapeless, platitudinous, complacent, ill-disciplined, arrogant, and humourless . . . the Kerry campaign seems to be the political equivalent of what they call on Broadway a “snob hit": the longer it is, the more boring it is and the worse time you have at it, the more you feel it must be good for you.
To his numbed, buttock-shifting listeners, the great sonorous self-regarding orotund bromidic banality of Senator Kerry and his multitude of nuances is proof of how much more serious he and therefore they are.

His default position is the conventional wisdom of the Massachusetts Left: on foreign policy, foreigners know best; on trade, the labour unions know best; on government, bureaucrats know best; on defence, greying ponytailed nuclear-freeze reflex anti-militarists know best; on the wine list, he knows best.

Talk about being left in the Lurch…………..

ACTU cutie Sharron “well-chewed mintie” Burrow (pictured, during her unsuccessful tryout for Australian Idol performing the Strawbs classic “Part of the Union"; Dikko’s review was less than complimentary, so Shazza had Doug Cameron break his legs.) has released a report on casual labour, slagging off the casualisation of the labour market as being detrimental to employees- despite the same review finding these arrangements suit a lot of people.

Of course it would never occur to the ACTU or any other half-baked labour organisation that the main thing driving the casualisation of the workforce is the untenable and expensive position employers have been placed in by idiotic labour policies, especially wrongful dismissal, compulsory superannuation, maternity leave and all the other mandated benefits which should be a matter between employees and employers, not unions and government.

It has been made so expensive (and labour intensive in compliance requirements) to actualy hire someone full time, a lot of firms don’t bother.

A nice dose of reality would be welcome among the ranks of organised labour, but they live in this mystical wobbly-world where a worldwide unification of workers is just around the corner; unfortunately, a lot of workers have found that they can get rich instead by working hard on performance based remuneration and investing.

These throwbacks should have to live in a burrow. shudder……………..

Jeebus- everyone wants to get in on the act.

Sounds like Bill was a big hit at the Soho gay bar.

No mention of any of the local Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael set offering to do a Monica in the dunnies, but maybe he’s just being tactful; the later scrag fight would have been something to see……

I would image the presence of the former leader of the free world would be enough to send even the most genteel and elegant English Roses into a frenzy, eager for the company of the White House’s most liberal (especially in regarding property rights- after all, isn’t all property theft?) resident; I could image what sort of demure young ladies were involved, and they’d be just how Bill likes ‘em.

Ever alert regular contributor JF Beck has uncovered clear evidence of major French espionage activities in the South Pacific, including a vast infiltration of Australia’s bureacracy and the trade union movement.

……..Hello Laziness and was written by Corinne Myers, an employee of the French state-owned electricity company EDF.
EDF bosses seem to feel that the book reflects badly on them although the company is never mentioned by name.
With chapter headings such as “The cretins who sit next to you", “Business culture my arse” and “Why you lose nothing by resigning", it has certainly touched a raw nerve.
She says you do not have much to lose if you do not do much at work, telling readers to choose the most useless sort of jobs - become a consultant, an expert or an adviser.

Sound familiar to anyone who’s ever had contact with government employees or unionised workplaces? The clincher is here:-

But when it happens she is almost certain to arrive with a bulging bundle of files under one arm - the best way she says to avoid questions about what exactly it is she has been doing all day.

Looks like the Frogs have been running Centrelink for some time now, and passing on their techniques to clients.

I kinda had an inkling that a Kerry administration would be seriously no-fun; it’s going to cost ‘em the hillbilly vote big time if it leaks out they want to ban redneck ballet.

I thought I’d pretty much seen as much ratbaggery that is possible for the dingbat left to produce, what with Green Left Weekly and such, but this site takes dementia to a whole new level.

Like his fellow-traveller in wacky conspiracy theories and hatred of success Niall the boohoo responsible for this waste of bandwidth doesn’t permit comments, so you can’t let him know what you think of his line in reasoned debate.

You can however post a comment here, a site set up by David Riley, a regular contributor to GLW and all-round tinfoil beanie wearer. He’s seeking opinion about Fahrenheit 9/11, but watch out- he is a demon at deletion. Favourable and fawning flattery of Fatboy only, ‘ta very much.

But the news is indeed terrible- national treasure and scintillating scribe Philip “Phat Phuck” Adams appears to have had a stroke; I can think of no other explanation for this John Howard/George Bush free incoherent gibberish about some weirdo’s facile fantasies.

I suppose it was always only a matter of time- all that artery-clogging cholesterol coagulating in his hugely over-worked vascular system, with a few extra gallons joining it daily; admittedly finding a brain to clot was a big ask, but it seems a few molecules of flabby fat have reduced the overweight oracle to a dribbling, blubbering, palsied mess.

Hang on, he was like that before the stroke- if you can tell me what the fuck he is on about in this column, however, please elucidate; how much does News Ltd pay his for this self-indulgent shite?

***UPDATE***The good Professor has come up with an item answering a question in the minds of many of the Porcine Pinko’s avid readers- just how does he carry out basic ablutions, given his shall we say ample frame?

Contributor JF Beck has come up with some gems from around the traps, including the following:-

Ian “Turps” Tupie has been grabbed by the ACCC over his involvement with the promotion of a nasal spray, especially over his claims that the spray gave him the horn.
The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has begun legal proceedings against television identity Ian Turpie for falsely claiming a nasal spray had cured his impotence.

Mr Turpie appeared in newspaper advertisements for the nasal spray with the headline “TV Star’s amazing CONFESSION!".

Anyone dumb enough to believe that spin deserves to be ripped off; what I get out of this is further evidence that there is nothing too personal for a celebrity to bang on about if there’s a quid in it; these same gerbils snork on about their privacy being invaded, then tell the world they can’t get a stiffy.

Meanwhile in Nigeria, contracting cancer of the earhole is the least of the worries faced by mobile phone users in the home of email scams. A long lingering death from tumours is not likely when, in a phenomena similar to the plot of Japanese horror trilogy Ringu, the receipt of a call from a killer number results in instant death.
A rumour has spread rapidly in the commercial capital, Lagos, that if one answers calls from certain “killer numbers” then one will die immediately.
A BBC reporter says experts and mobile phone operators have been reassuring the public via the media that death cannot result from receiving a call.
He says that in such a superstitious country unfounded rumours are common.
A list of alleged killer numbers has been circulated but no-one is reported to have died from answering the phone.

The BBC’s reporter in Lagos, Sola Odunfa, says that the current scare story is reminiscent of a rumour that spread a few years ago that a handshake could cause sexual organs to disappear.
That rumour turned to tragedy as mobs rounded on people accused of making organs disappear.
Despite the massive public interest, no-one was found to have lost their organs.

We reported previously on the mysterious willy-thieving story- I recall it was some sort of Zionist plot to prevent West African Moslems from procreating. Possibly so, but how have they missed the likelyhood of the evil Jewish conspiracy being responsible for the greatest threat to African reproduction?

In a stunning display of duplicity, the rudest nation on earth has demanded fawning aquiesence from Americans with the temerity to apply for a French visa.
“Visas for France are not a right. Persons applying for visas are requested to show due respect for Consular personnel. Failure to do so will result in the denial of the application and denied entry into any of the EU countries,” says the sign posted in English at the French Consulate at 10 East 74th St., referring to the European Union.

Here’s some free advice- tell those arrogant garlic-reeking poodle-walking beret-wearing craven capitulating ca’pons to jam their visas up their jimmers; you’re missing nothing- the bastards are as rude as all the rumours suggest, the place is covered in dogshit, they have the ugliest cars this side of the former Soviet Union, their women are haughty (with no reason to be) and they collectively stink on ice.

Probably the only thing in favour of the sausage-eaters (besides Porsche and BMW) is the fact that they detest the French.