July 26, 2004
Glad to hear it
We wouldn't pull out early to save hostage: Downer
Australia would not pull its troops out of Iraq even a week early to save the life of an Australian hostage, Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said today.
Mr Downer stood by his criticism of the Philippines for pulling out of Iraq, saying he had to send the right message to terrorists that Australia would not give in to their demands.
Asked if that meant keeping troops there for an extra week rather than saving the life of a hostage, Mr Downer said yes.
"Yes, because if you give in to the terrorists in one particular case, as I say all you're doing is empowering and emboldening them," Mr Downer told the John Laws radio program.
"You've seen since the Philippines withdrawal, you've seen a spate of hostage-taking in Iraq. And well, why not? If these terrorists want to achieve certain objectives and they know by taking people hostage they can achieve them, it's the cheapest and easiest way to do their job." [...]
"I hope the tough line that I ... have taken generally, I hope that the sorts of statements we've made will make it less likely that our people will be taken hostage," he said.
"Because what terrorists know is that they will not get anything out of the Australian government if they do something as egregious as take one of our people hostage. That's the message we want to send. There's no point in taking them hostage."
It's reassuring to know that if ever I was taken hostage by terrorists in Iraq (or wherever) my government would have the courage to let my life be sacrificed rather than give up the US' plans for conquest. Anyway, if the idea behind taking hostages is to encourage the invading countries to fuck off, the terrorists don't seem to have been deterred by the fact that taking Americans hostage and executing them didn't result in the US pulling out. They don't appear to have thought "hmm, murder didn't work, let's try something else". They just kept taking hostages, just like they were doing before the Philippines pulled out of Iraq and just as they would have done if the Philippines had stayed.
July 25, 2004
Does this mean the toys get to star as themselves?
Transformers to make movie debut
The Transformers, the shape-changing robot toys that were a craze in the 1980s, are to be made into a live-action film by studio Dreamworks.
The Steven Spielberg-founded studio plans a summer of 2006 release.
"Steven and everyone at Dreamworks are very excited about the prospect of expanding the world of Transformers," a Dreamworks statement said.
"The possibilities for a thrilling action adventure are virtually endless," the studio said.
The Transformers were, alongside the Cabbage Patch Dolls and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, one of the toy crazes of the 1980s.
The two robot factions - one good evil - could disguise themselves as everything from trucks to fighter jets.
The toys sparked a successful cartoon series in the US.
Not to mention the 1986 movie as well. Whatever idiot came up with the headline for the story obviously never saw their actual movie debut. Next: Meccano: The Motion Picture...
JK Rowling increases output
Author Rowling having third child
Harry Potter author JK Rowling has said she is expecting her third child, due next year.
The author, 38, broke the news on her website. She already has a daughter Jessica and son David, who was born last year.
Rowling said: "I always wanted three children, so I could not be happier."
The author said pregnancy would not affect the release of the new Potter book. "Let me reassure you that book six remains well on track," she said.
Let's just hope she doesn't take as long to produce the child as she did the last book...
July 24, 2004
I don't think so
Queen Victoria, Abraham Lincoln, Florence Nightingale and other characters from history may soon be able to speak again, as scientists perfect techniques to recover the sound from recordings that are far too delicate to be played.
In the corner of a California university laboratory, two men are battling against time to perfect a machine that will read old recordings - using special microscopes to scan the grooves - and software that can convert those shapes into sound. Their work could bring history to life.
The dulcet tones of movers and shakers from an earlier age could soon be heard once again, thanks to scientists Vitaliy Fadeyev and Carl Haber, who usually work with subatomic particles at the Lawrence Berkeley National Lab. They are now planning to use that technology to give a voice to the great and the good down the annals of history.
This fascinates me enormously, but the bit about Lincoln boggled me:
Unconfirmed rumours abound that Abraham Lincoln even made a recording during the Civil War in 1863.
Alas, the article fails to explain how Lincoln could've done such a thing when there was no technology available for him to do so. (I know Leon Scott had the phonautograph machine, but that wasn't a real sound recording device.) Who WRITES this bullshit?
Surprise surprise
U2 will rush release album if it's leaked
Bono says U2 will release their new album early if it's leaked onto the internet.
A CD containing new songs from the album went missing during a recent photo session in Nice.
Bono said that they'd be willing to release the record early, rather than face an online leak four months before release.
He said: "If it is on the internet this week, we will release it immediately as a legal download on iTunes, and get hard copies into the shops by the end of the month.
"It would be a real pity. It would screw up years of work and months of planning, not to mention f**king up our holidays. But once it's out, it's out."
The CD that was stolen belonged to guitarist The Edge, who said that it "doesn't seem credible" that it could have been taken.
Believe me, Davo, you're not the only one thinking all this is a bit incredible. Call me cynical, but I find it hard to believe this isn't all just a stunt by the band or, if not them, someone very closely associated with them.
July 23, 2004
Well, they couldn't be worse than the present incumbent... could they?
David Crosby and Graham Nash To Run For President
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young members David Crosby and Graham Nash have announced they will run for joint President of the USA in the upcoming election.
The musicians plan to share the Presidency on alternate days if they win. There campaign promises include free money and the offer of a night in the Lincoln bedroom for anyone who donates more than $200,000 to their cause.
In relation to the American involvement in the Middle East, Crosby's comment "Well, 'I rock' is much better than Iraq."
As part of the campaign, the stars say vote fixing is high on their agenda. "Remember, it's not the people who vote that change things, it's the people that count the votes that change things" they said.
Neither Stephen Stills nor Neil Young, nor for that matter any other lapsed members of the Byrds or the Hollies, were available for comment.
Russ Meyer to cast newly-enhanced US soldiers in next film?
Bigger breasts offered as perk to US soldiers
NEW YORK: The US army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be", but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.
The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the US military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free – something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.
"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.
Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.
The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on".
Well, why don't they experiment on all those terrorists in Guantanamo Bay? It's not like the US government is doing anything with them, after all...
But did he leave his hat on?
Sutherland's Strip Wows Small-Town Crowd
Kiefer Sutherland stunned a group of small-town New Zealand women with an impromptu strip routine at a club in the North Island community of Raetihi.
Sutherland slipped out of his socks and whipped off his shirt, waving it above his head to the tune of the Tom Jones' hit "You Can Leave Your Hat On" at Raetihi's Cosmopolitan Club, the New Zealand Herald newspaper reported.
The women were watching Men of Steel - a male revue act - and Sutherland was drinking at an adjoining bar before deciding to join the act, the newspaper said. The 37-year-old actor, star of television's action-thriller "24," was then ushered off the stage.
The incident occurred last Thursday but wasn't reported until Wednesday.
"Kiefer had a hell of a night," club President Danny Mills told The Associated Press. "He had an enjoyable evening and so did everyone that was here."
No doubt he did. Funny, but I thought that when actors decided they wanted to try something else when they started getting too old to go in front of the camera, they usually took up directing, not stripping...
Tasteful
Big Brother company's latest plan: 'sperm race' TV
Television producers were criticised yesterday over reports that they are developing a reality show in which men would compete for a chance to father a child and then take part in an on-air "sperm race".
In the show, which has been mooted by the company that makes Channel 4's Big Brother, up to 1,000 men would attempt to convince a woman to pick them as the father of her first child by impressing her with their intelligence, sex appeal and fitness.
A second sperm donor would be chosen on the basis of genetic compatibility, and the two finalists would then take part in the sperm race in which the insemination process could be filmed using new technology.
Brighter Pictures, a subsidiary of Endemol, is considering making the programme, provisionally called Make Me a Mum. An Endemol spokesman said details about the show's contents were speculative.
Life, an anti-abortion campaign group, said the show "sounds like prostitution".
A spokesman said: "It's absolutely despicable. It's exploitation with no consideration for the child that may or may not be created. If the child learns that he or she was fathered, not out of love, but for the purposes of a TV programme, that's extremely psychologically damaging."
Well, I'm sure the parents could just tell them instead that he or she was the unwitting result of a drunken night of passion in which someone forgot to put a condom on. That ought to do it.
Brighter Pictures attracted controversy with a previous show, for Sky One, called There's Something About Miriam in which a group of men competed for the affections of a woman, only to discover she was a transsexual.
Hmm, so they obviously have a history of classy TV productions...
The telemarketer of DEATH!
Panic spreads in Nigeria over cellphone numbers rumoured to cause death
Oluchi Azubogu took no chances after receiving an ominous text message stirring fear in Nigeria.
The message warned that she would die if she took calls from two listed phone numbers. "I switched off my mobile phone and took no calls at all," the 22-year-old university student said. Quickly she alerted her parents and six friends.
The text-message rumour has been spreading this week through Africa's most populous country: "Beware! You'll die if you take a call from any of these phone numbers: 0802 311 1999 or 0802 222 5999."
Telecom firm VMobile insisted Thursday the messages are merely a hoax, stressing that only one of the alleged "killer numbers" even exists. The other is fictitious.
"This is an absolute hoax and should be treated as such," VMobile spokesman Emeka Opara said in a statement.
Police also urged the public to ignore the rumour, with national police spokesman Chris Olakpe saying authorities are seeking the source of the hoax and investigating whether criminal harm was intended.
At least she wasn't as desperate as him, I suppose
Michael Jackson has reportedly been begging Nicole Kidman for a date.
Michael, who is facing child sex charges in the US, wanted Nicole to accompany him to the upcoming MTV Music Awards.
According to the Mirror Nicole said: "There was a call from his people to mine asking if he could take me to the Awards."
"I had never even met him, it was a little strange. I did decline but, hey, the way my love life is I took it as a great compliment."
Nicole added: "I keep thinking of those ridiculous photographs of Michael in a shocking wig at Disneyland looking ridiculous. So call me crazy but it just didn't tempt me to want to accept."
I can't help but think that if Jacko's trying to make himself appear to be a normal human being by consorting with an adult woman in public, he's left it a little bit late.
Internet chat rooms give you AIDS
Gay online chat a health hazard
Gay men who used online chat sites were more likely to be HIV-positive and have unprotected sex with a casual partner than gay men who don't, a new study has found.
Cruising and Connecting Online, a study by the National Centre in HIV Social Research, examined 450 gay men in Melbourne and Sydney last year and compared data with periodic surveys conducted among the gay community.
The study found gay chat site users were more likely to be HIV-positive, report unprotected anal intercourse with a casual partner in the past six months and have more partners.
"Chat sites are regarded as supporting a range of sex-seeking practices by gay men, providing a fast and efficient medium through which men can locate one another for sex," the study said.
But the study also found gay chat sites appeared to be a good medium for education and disease prevention activities and users were receptive to such messages.
"Our study suggests that these sites support a range of activities and relationships in addition to sex seeking and may support mutual negotiation of sex practices and facilitate HIV risk reduction strategies," the report said.
To be honest, apart from the potential for shock-horror scaremongering headlines like the header of this post, what this article really makes me think of is this: do lesbians use the Internet in this way? Do straight people? Is it only gay men who have this sort of health issue vis-a-vis chat rooms or what? That's what I'd be more interested in knowing...
This is news?
Sydney rail commuters face delays
Sydney commuters were again warned to expect delays during today's afternoon peak as a result of a worsening driver shortage.
RailCorp chief executive Vince Graham blamed a 20-driver shortage on the cancellation of five peak hour services this afternoon which would cause significant disruptions.
"I'm expecting that we could have four or five peak service cancellations because of the driver shortage this afternoon," Mr Graham told reporters.
And this would be different from the way things have been for some time now... how, exactly?
How delightfully romantic
Online Matchmakers Give Dating a Partisan Tilt
KATY TABER doesn't hate Republicans. She just doesn't want to date them anymore.
Ms. Taber, a 20-year-old part-time student from West Palm Beach, Fla., looked for potential partners at Internet dating sites for nearly three years. But the services kept coughing up conservatives. That was not going to work for a young woman who has been to her share of teach-ins, and caught "Fahrenheit 9/11" on opening weekend.
So, like tens of thousands of others, Ms. Taber turned to an online personals site that caters to a specific political point of view. Now, after trading messages at loveinwar.com for a few weeks, Ms. Taber is going on her second date - with a nice young liberal from Pembroke Pines, about an hour away.
Since it began, the Internet has enabled groups to gather around common interests. So it was only a matter of time before the great divide between red states and blue states made its way into online romance.
"Liberals are buying liberal books, conservatives are buying conservative books," said Jeffrey M. Stonecash, a professor of political science at Syracuse University. "This is just another manifestation." [...]
Kelly Larson, 34, from Camas, Wash., signed up with www.conservativematch.com for much the same reason. She is a three-hour-a-day Fox News watcher who hands out Bush-Cheney bumper stickers at local parades. Her last serious boyfriend was a serious lefty, and they used to argue constantly. Eventually, the relationship could not survive the political differences, she said.
Now Ms. Larson, a full-time nanny and part-time Republican campaign volunteer, wants someone who shares her views.
"It's important that he has the same politics as me," she said. "It comes before religion in my book."
And what about love, does it come before that as well? I'm sorry, but there really is something pathetic about letting politics dictate to you to that extent.
A record company proposing to sell new CDs cheap? Get out of here
Cheaper anti-copy CDs suggested
CDs with anti-copy technology to combat piracy may be made cheaper than those without it, one of the UK's leading record executives has suggested.
Atlantic Records' UK head Korda Marshall - who signed The Darkness - said there could be different prices for CDs with different copy protection.
"Maybe there's a point in the future where you'd buy a copy-protected CD at a lower price," he told BBC Radio 2. [...]
Mr Marshall suggested a new pricing structure could see fans pay more for CDs that would play on more devices.
His company uses copy protection on early pressings of many new releases, he said, to avoid albums being put on the internet or bootlegged.
Copy protection was also used for advance copies sent to "dishonest" music critics, he said.
"We use it mainly for the media now because [of] the reality of sending records to journalists and to radio stations and to media, so all our promotional CDs are copy protected," he said.
Internet piracy "has done great damage", he added.
Of course the hostile attitude of the record industry towards its customers has done no damage whatsoever, has it? Hmph. As for this lowering prices thing, I can't really see that happening. Likely as not they'll keep the crippled CDs at the prices they're currently at and jack up the price of the uncrippled ones. Which, mind you, would not be unbearable as long as the price hike wasn't too obscene and as long as it meant you could get an uncrippled copy of an otherwise crippled album. Which is something I can't really see happening either...
July 22, 2004
You mean you weren't a frivolous, wanton, extravagant woman living at the expense of the poor?
Marcos loses fight to block biopic
Her vast array of shoes became a symbol of her greed and untold wealth. Now, it seems, the boot is on the other foot.
A new film about the life, loves and spending habits of Imelda Marcos opened to packed houses in Manila yesterday, despite the protests of its subject.
"I am looking like an airhead, like a frivolous, wanton, extravagant woman at the expense of the poor," Ms Marcos said.
"I am made to look like a cheap flirt, flirting with all the men of the world."
The 103-minute documentary, Imelda, which focuses on the role she played in the often brutal 22-year dictatorship of her husband, Ferdinand, almost did not make it to the big screen. Its release was delayed by arguably the best possible publicity, a legal challenge.
Ms Marcos, 75, argued tearfully in court that the film-maker, the Filipino-American Ramona Diaz, had tricked her into participating in the film by claiming that it was just an academic project and then set out to ridicule her.
Ms Marcos won round one, obtaining a temporary injunction banning release. But the court reversed its decision 10 days ago. [...]
Many viewers' favourite moment has been when Ms Marcos draws a variety of pictures to demonstrate her philosophy of life. She explains, in a somewhat confusing manner, that the circle of life can also be a smiley face, but when it is broken it becomes a Pac-Man.
Pac-Man! Well, we can see what decade Imelda obviously never quite emerged from, eh kids?
Why, for fuck's sake?
Paris Hilton has bought a copy of her own porn video.
The heiress picked up the film, saucily entitled One Night In Paris, at a sex store in Hollywood.
It has just been released after being made available on the internet.
Paris, 23, dropped a £17million lawsuit against ex-lover Rick Salomon, 33, with whom she stars, in return for a share of profits from the movie.
I honestly don't understand this. Paris does realise, doesn't she, that you don't make any profit on something you've made by buying it yourself? And in any case, if she wanted a copy, why not get one from Salomon? Or why not do like everyone else and download the fucking thing? I know you hear about authors buying up lots of copies of their own books so other people can't get their hands on it, but since Paris is getting some of the profits from the sale of this, that can't be the reason for it...
RIP Jerry Goldsmith
Oscar winning composer passes away
Oscar winning composer Jerry Goldsmith, who created the memorable music for scores of classic movies and television shows ranging from the Star Trek and Planet of the Ape" series to The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Perry Mason, has died, aged 75.
Goldsmith died in his sleep Wednesday night at his Beverly Hills home after a long battle with cancer, said Lois Carruth, his personal assistant.
A classically trained composer and conductor, Goldsmith's award-dappled Hollywood career -- he was nominated for 17 Academy Awards, won one, and also took home five Emmys -- spanned nearly half a century.
He crafted an astonishing number of TV and movie scores that have become classics in their own right. From the clarions of Patton to the syrupy theme for TV's The Waltons, Goldsmith sometimes seemed virtually synonymous with soundtracks. [...]
Goldsmith's output also spilled into television, with the themes for shows including Dr. Kildare, Barnaby Jones and Star Trek: The Next Generation.
He won his Oscar for best original score in 1976 for The Omen" He also earned five Emmy Awards and was nominated for nine Golden Globe awards, though he never won one.
I, penis
UK fans will literally see more of Will Smith in his new movie than their US counterparts.
The actor bares all in a shower scene in the new sci-fi adventure film I, Robot.
But the details of his full frontal nude scene have been pixelated out for the US market.
They will only appear in European cinemas, reports the Evening Standard.
If only I'd had this information last night, I could've asked David about it while he was reviewing the film on the show. Wonder if Will's will made it to our screens?
Fly the friendly skies
Drunk flight attendants attack passenger
Drunken passengers often give air crews trouble, but Russia's leading airline reported an "unprecedented" reversal: a passenger was assaulted by intoxicated flight attendants.
Two crew members on a domestic Aeroflot flight beat up a passenger who had complained that the flight attendants were drunk, airline spokeswoman Irina Dannenberg said on Tuesday.
The passenger, identified only as A. Chernopup, was aboard a recent flight from Moscow to the Siberian city of Nizhnevartovsk, Ms Dannenberg said, adding that the crew belonged to another airline, Aviaenergo.
Seeing that the crew were intoxicated and were not fulfilling their duties, Mr Chernopup asked to be served by a sober and competent flight attendant, Ms Dannenberg said.
He was then beaten up by two crew members.
On Russian flights, attendants often have to struggle to keep intoxicated passengers under control.
But on this flight, the flight attendants were so intoxicated that they "behaved improperly" and only began catering to passengers 1 hours into the four-hour trip, Ms Dannenberg said.
The daily Izvestia quoted another passenger as saying that half of the food the crew served ended up on the floor, leaving the aisle strewn with debris that passengers had to walk over as they disembarked. The passenger said Mr Chernopup left the plane with a black eye and was taken to see a doctor.
Of course I'm sure the fact that the crew came from another airline makes it all right...
Fuck the drugs charge, what about animal cruelty?
Smugglers hid cocaine inside labradors
Two Britons have been found guilty of an elaborate plot to smuggle cocaine by surgically implanting packets of the drug inside two labrador dogs.
Gregory Graham, 27, and Kaye Chapman, 20, plotted to smuggle 1.3kg of cocaine into Britain hidden inside the stomachs of golden Labrador Rex and black Labrador Frispa.
But officials at Amsterdam's Schiphol airport, the transit point from Colombia to London, alerted vets because Rex was lively yet Frispa lay apathetically.
Vets removed 11 packets from Rex and 10 from Frispa, who later died - one of them had burst - and British police were alerted to wait for people coming to fetch the dogs.
Gregory and Chapman were convicted at Norwich Crown Court of conspiracy to import drugs. Two other co-accused were cleared.
Pair of cunts.
What did Orwell say about "war is peace"?
Bush Says: 'I Want to Be the Peace President'
After launching two wars, President Bush said on Tuesday he wanted to be a "peace president" and took swipes at his Democratic rivals for being lawyers and weak on defense.
With polls showing public support for the war in Iraq in decline, Bush cast himself as a reluctant warrior and assured Americans they were "safer" as he campaigned in the battleground states of Iowa and Missouri against Democrat John Kerry and his running mate, former trial lawyer John Edwards.
"The enemy declared war on us," Bush told a re-election rally in Cedar Rapids. "Nobody wants to be the war president. I want to be the peace president... The next four years will be peaceful years." Bush used the words "peace" or "peaceful" a total of 20 times.
Bush has called himself a "war president" in leading the United States in a battle against terrorism brought about by the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on America. "I'm a war president. I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign policy matters with war on my mind," he said in February. [...]
Ahead of the release of a report detailing the breakdown in intelligence and security before the Sept. 11 attacks, Bush said, "We reorganized this government of ours to be better protect the people."
"For a while we were marching to war. Now we're marching to peace. ... America is a safer place. Four more years and America will be safer and the world will be more peaceful," Bush said.
Dear Christ, where do you even begin with this bullshit? I quite honestly don't know what to say in the face of this.
July 21, 2004
Now that's enterprising
DISSATISFIED with the way Russian television serials depict the underworld, real-life mobsters shot their own show, which a local television channel in Russia's Far East just started broadcasting, channel officials have said.
The program, called Spets, was shot by the owner of a shady car market who was sentenced several times for his activities, Vitaly Dyomochka, also known in criminal circles as Bondar.
Everything in the show is meant to be genuine, with gangsters playing their own roles. Only the cops are played by professional actors.
To make sure everything was true to real mob life as he sees it, Dyomochka wrote the script, produced the show, shot it, played the leading part, and even wrote the original score himself.
The serial tells the real story of how, a few years ago, gangsters robbed a train cargo of Japanese cars that happened to pass through Ussuriisk, a city of 150,000 near the Pacific port of Vladivostok.
I'm presuming Dyomochka was involved in this himself and that his shady car yard was where the cars were intended to go. I love the sound of this; I just wish they'd also got real policemen to play the police roles...
His mother must be proud of him
It was love at first bite back in 1972 when Don Gorske of Fond du Lac ate his first Big Mac.
On Monday, he ate his 20,000th McDonald’s Big Mac and still relishes every mouthful.
Gorske, who has gained nationwide fame through his daily habit of stopping for a couple of Big Macs and keeping count, was surrounded by about 200 fans and curiosity seekers, and had microphones and camera lenses stuck in his face as he reached a McMilestone in his unusual avocation.
Gorske handed out red lapel buttons and McDonald coupons as he greeted guests before helping cut a green ribbon signaling the rededication of the West Johnson Street McDonald’s store and then settling down to a Big Mac washed down with Coca-Cola.
“It usually takes 16 bites to finish a Big Mac,” he said, “and no, you cannot have the carton (containing the celebrated sandwich) because it’s not for sale. You can’t buy it from me.”
I thought this guy was a freak when I saw him in Super-Size Me and this does nothing to change my opinion.
Sweet
THE new Willy Wonka film was in the goo last night — after a £300,000 camera was dropped into a giant vat of “chocolate”.
It plunged in after a technician failed to secure the wire-held camera.
And the crew watched in horror as it plunged into the 3ft-deep tank.
The disaster has delayed filming of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, which stars Johnny Depp as sweet factory boss Willy Wonka.
Insiders say the bill, including paying staff to stand idle, could top £500,000.
One revealed: “When the camera fell it was like a slap-stick scene straight from the movie. A team of riggers had come in specially from the States to set it up over a vat of synthetic chocolate.
“But someone made a mistake and it wasn’t secured properly. The production team didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The camera is probably beyond repair.”
Hmm... according to FXConverter, that half million pounds is just under a million US dollars. Given how many tens of millions of dollars this film is probably going to cost anyway, is a million dollars really that big a blowout any more?
