Customers are taking too many free napkins on 13.7.04
11.16.a -
Wonderfully perfect email Courtney to Greg. Hah.
I got off the phone with you last wednesday and felt that maybe i had said to much to stray you one way or the other where I just wanted to explain the situation then have you pray about it. I, of course, am biased. I would LOVE for you to be up with us at Thomasaat, but just like you said, it may not be where you need to be during the fall. And it very well could kill you. I i dont want dead Courtney. (side note: using Ya'll in your email to greg made me laugh a lot) The reason Vanessa took herself out of the game, and the reason we wanted her to leave is that we felt like she was hurting the ministry more than helping it. While i think you would always protect the ministry by putting on your "game" or "poker" face, thai students are very smart. They realized about the Vanessa situation without even being informed. I will say no more to bias the situation. These lips are shut. I did get really excited, however, about a "Trial Run", YES! ok.. ahem. straight face.
YES. Sorry i haven't emailed you sooner. I was gone all weekend! What did i do?
Friday night i saw Spider Man 2 with Bon, Brandon, and Aaa? (A said like a question) I thought it was really good? Although many people didn't like it as much as the first one. I thought it had a lot of mission parallels in it. And was thinking about God the entire time. (SpiderMan making great sacrifices for what he does... blah blah blah) I told Brandon what i thought afterwards, and he didn't get it. So i NEED you to see it and discuss!
omg i can't believe you are going to be here that soon. 27 days ok wow.
The next couple weeks are going to fly by. Next week a team of 6 American short term college missionaries are coming, staying, and working with us. Which basically means VACATION for US because we can make them do everything (haha) I mean, not really vaction, but they are going to run english and do lots of busy work we normally do. They are here for us to use them, and use them we will. We also have lots of fun planned for them so it all works out.
We are ALSO going to use them to start up our wednesday night bible study SPECTACULAR (DA DA DUM) FOOD, SINGING, PRAYER, BIBLE STUDY, FIREWORKS (ok no fireworks), did i mention food? yes. did i mention we need prayer for all of this? yes.
Last night i was wandering around campus and ran into a girl and her friend who comes to English (her name is Shakira). I told her about the orphinage we go to and when and what time we do it, and she said she wanted to come. This is a big deal because we really wanted thai students to get involved in our mission work. and now we have one! exciting.
Sunday, i taught english at the church the whole time. Two 1 1/2 hour classes. They went ok. First time teaching in a structured environment was a little wierd, and i was humbled many times. I, did, however, get to teach the students the word "traffic-ey" as in "Bangkok is very traffic-ey" OK SO ITS NOT A WORD I'M A BAD ENGLISH TEACHER SAY IT SAY IT! (sob sob sob)
ahem.
I played the three adjectives game. Everyone had to go around the room say their name and three adjectives to describe themselves. I started. I said "Witty" They didn't know what that meant so i explained it to them. Then i wrote "smart" and everyone laughed... hard... So after SMART on the board i wrote "? ? ?" and they laughed again. Then for the third one, i wrote "Handsome" they laughed even HARDER this time, so i followed up with more "? ? ?" while saying "Question Mark Question Mark Question Mark" I then gave them five minutes to come up with their own adjectives. After 20 seconds someone yelled out "SEXY" so i went up to the board. Wrote "Adjectives you CANNOT use: 1. SEXY" They laughed again. Good times in english.
Saturday.
I went down to Bangkok with Bon and Visky (like whiskey) We went to Bon's house and ate with her parents. Then went to the famous Thai street thats in all the movies and how i ENVISIONED all of Thailand to be. Lots of shopping and fun times. I tried to get money out of the ATM machine and it took my card and i was really mad. Called the ATM people and they said that my band in the states had decided to hold my card. That didn't make sense to me. I called my parents and it turned out that the bank had sent me new ATM cards in the mail and cancelled my old one. Um, did i not tell them that was I WAS GOING TO BE OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR THE NEXT 10 MONTHS. guess not. so ATM cards are being fed-exed to me.
OK. Well i hope you have a great week. And i hope to hear from you soon. Dont freak out. Deep Breaths. Everything is EASY. Transition to Thailand is going to be simple simple simple. DO NOT WORRY. We got you covered girl.
Courtney -- Hello! It saddens me that you will be gone from wednesday to sunday, but i am also going to be gone from thursday to sunday so it wont matter that much. I am going to Roi-Et which is the ministry our church in Bangkok is involved in. Every week they drive seven hours by car to the city of Roi-Et. Then from the city, they go 15 miles out and teach english in villages. They teach 9 classes over two days from beginning to advanced for people to try to spread god's word. Then every saturday night to head home only face more english classes and preaching in church. Its crazy dedication. Its supposed to be very eye opening. I'm glad you enjoyed my email. I really really enjoyed writing it. I havne't written back in the last few days mostly because i've been sick! Yes. Sick. And i haven't been able to think straight. I felt good yesterday to teach english, but then today i'm not feeling so again again... So yeah i dont know whats up with that. Oh! I thought of something else i needed to tell you. Yeah so i know you are exercising hard and thats awesome, but you probably need to know that continuing that dedication will mostly be impossible here. When they told me that i was like, "oh yeah, we will see about that!" But i mean really. Running conditions aren't good. Dogs run at you from every direction. Not to mention the fact that its hot as crap except from midnight to 6 am. And thats not the safest time to run so yeah. sooory to tell you that but i want to mentally prepare you? yes. Oh. So. Heres the news. Vanessa announced to the group that she is thinking about leaving Bangkok. Shes giving herself 10 days in which she will pray 30 minutes a day for God to change her attitude about Thailand. If he does, she days. If he doesn't, she leaves. I mean yeah. Its rough. I asked then if she wanted feedback from us about it and she said no. So heres feedback that i wrote down but never showed her: Can God need you in a place you dont want to be? Or does he always change your desires into his desires? How much praying about Thailand did you do before you came here? Was your heart in the right place then? Are you praying for the wrong thing? Are you asking God the wrong questions? You are asking God to change your attitude, but are you really willing to change? Are you putting a time limit on God? I think its fair to ask God to break your heart for the Thai people, And i think he will. I dont think its fair to ask him to do it in a certain amount of time. I know he can change your attitude, but are you asking him to "change my attitude or ELSE?" Are you threatening God? After writing those things down, i then kind of realized not none of them are relevent. At least shes going to pray. At least shes not going to leave. At least shes asking all of us to pray for her about this. Spending time with God is the most important part. Maybe? I don't. I just know that their is tons of spiritual warfare continuously going on here. For awhile, I couldn't even look at Vanessa because i just despised her. I mean, whats with that? When have i EVER felt that way about a person? Never. So then we had a fight, and ever since then i've made a point to always look her straight in the face when i talk to her. But its the exact same thing on her side. Yesterday, all day, she couldn't even look at me. She'd talk to me and not look at me straight in the face like SHE despised me even though I never said or did anything for her to despise me. I mean, what is at work here? This is serious stuff. And the fact that she still thinks that it could be for other reasons BESIDES Satan is the worst thing of all. If she doesn't realize the source, she has no chance of combatting it. So there it is. Its been 5 days I think. And i'm not sure if shes made any leeway. Oh another side note. As shes gets lonlier and lonlier and more miserable guess whats shes doing to fill that. Thats right, Brain and Vanessa have been getting more physical. To the point when they are always hanging all over each other. Brian doesn't see it. He loves it. But having him here is just another reason for her to turn to something else besides God. Ok Enough. Time to talk about some fun stuff. Oh yeah. Hah. Some pictures can be found at http://thailand.progolf.com yes. I took them myself. So SATURDAY Brandon and I went to Bangkok. We went to the tallest building in Bangkok. That was great fun. When we left, we jumped on a Tuk Tuk. Do you know what these are? Its kind of like a motorcycle attached to a cart. So we jumped on one of those to the Grand Palace. We asked him how much it would cost to get to the grand palce and he replied: "100 baht" Which we thought was a pretty good price because we were way away from the grand palace. At the first light,The Tuk Tuk driver turned around and asked us where we were from. "America" we replied. "Ah. I have promotion for you." "Promotion.... ah yeah. no thanks. Grand Palace." I said. He continues on. Next light. He turns around and says something about free gas... then jots something down about a stop before the grand palace. I stopped him before he finished: "Oh no. We are not paying for Gas. You told us 100 Baht. Grand Palace." And he turned back around, but at the next light he continued. This time he made more sense. "Free Gas. You go to store. Look around for 10 minutes. No buy anything to look. Then come out. Free Gas." "Oohh.." I said. "you want us to go some place, look around for 10 minutes for this promotion so you can get free gas." An excited look came across his face. "YES YES! Exactly!" I replied back quickly, "Well, whats in it for us." With a huff, he turned around quickly like i had just insulted his mother and continued driving. But you could tell the wheels inside in his head were still turning. And of course, without fail, at the next light he turned around once more. "50 baht" He said. "50 baht for both of us?" I said. "50 baht both of you." Ah now we were talking. I looked at Brandon and he still looked pretty apprehensive about the whole ordeal. I turned to him and whispered. "Come on. It'll be fun. And you know we'll probably get screwed somehow in the whole ordeal so it will be a good story to tell people and english class." So he said ok. And off we were to the magical free gas store look around place. We got there and got off the Tuk Tuk. He said he would wait for us and, "5 minutes no free gas, 10 minutes free gas. Look around 10 minutes." "yeah yeah we replied 10 minutes, got it. And we looked down at our watches." We entered the store. The store was.... gaudy can best describe it. Lots of ugly cheap jewlery. Thai Silk. We looked around for awhile. Trying to pass the time. A lady came up to us and started talking to us. Really Nice. We told her we were teaching English around Thamasaat and she gave us her card. Told us to never trust a Tuk Tuk driver (which i thought was ironic) and to watch our wallets in the market and what else we should see when we went to Bangkok. After talking to her for awhile we realized that it had been 15 minutes. The lady then insisted that we take water when we left. So we got back on the Tuk Tuk with only 15 minutes lost and free water. So far so good. We were surprised by our success. As we approached the grand palace I told Brandon to get a 50 baht note ready so whatever happens whatever he says just give him the 50 baht note and say Thank YOu and walk away. I thought for sure he was going to give us a hard time. Well, we got to the grand palace. Brandon handed him the 50 baht note for the both of us. Said thank you. We stepped off. And he drove off. Never, in my wildest dreams, did i think we weren't going to be screwed somehow in the ordeal. But nontheless, the tuk tuk fare was 50 baht less and we got free water. So not so much of a story with a moral like "don't trust tuk tuk drivers" but just more ambivilance of "i guess you can trust some people, and not trust others..." English Tuesday again was great. The whole thing was bent towards the telephone. I came up with little scenarios written on little cards that each person had to act out with me like: "You think Susie in your class is TOTALLY HOT! Call and ask her to go to the movies on Friday Night" and. "Your cat, Chairman Meow, was hit by a car. You took him to the vet to save his life. Call the vet and ask if hes going to be ok." For a game, we read in a newspaper article that a girl typed a 35 word paragraph into her cell phone in 43 seconds to set the world record. We had everyone in the class who had a cell phone race and try to see who could send my phone the message in the fastest amount of time. Whoever was the fastest, won a 50 baht cell phone. Just all around good times. Girl, Pond, who likes my music etc, showed up before class and i helped her with English homework, also like 7 thai students hung around afterwards to just hang out til like 11 pm. English nights so far are my favorite. They feel so rewarding. Anyways, i should be off. I hope you have fun this week/weekend and i hope this email reaches you before you leave. Miss, Love, and pray for you. -chris.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 25.6.04
3.15.p -
ok ok ok. so lots to talk bout. first of all in response to you. ok. well 8000 dollars wow. wow because thats WAY WAY WAY WAY more money then you'll need in eight months. So a good bit -- and when i say good bit i mean like probably about 3000 dollars more then you'll need especially if insurnace is already paid for. So i mean, i guess that money can just be used for future missions at house of grace etc. At $270 dollars a month to spend on food and entertainment gives you 353 BAHT a day. Meals typically cost around 25-45 BAHT a day. You can eat three means for under 100 BAHT a day. Which gives you 253 extra BAHT a day to spend on extranious things. What i'm saying is that even 353 BAHT a day is WAY alot and you probably wont spend that much. So you will spend less than 270 dollars a month on food and entertainment. So you will spend less than 2500 dollars in the eight months on food and living expenses. That leaves you with like 5500 dollars for housing and one time expenses. Housing isn't going to be more than 100 dollars a month. I'm paying 30 dollars a month. SO. yeah. greg's budet of 6000 dollars was way padded and he even changed it when i got here. Hes only giving me 1500 dollars not 3000, and that leaves me at 4500 dollars for 10 months, which is still more than i need. Its hard to see the math now but you'll understand way more when you get here. I was thinking a couple weeks ago that even 6000 dollars was way more then you needed, but i just forgot to tell you. I mean, the money is there for a reason and i know you just wont go blow it on really expensive clothes at the high class malls in bangkok. Just maybe keep your eyes open and pray about it (not that i have to tell you that) Also maybe remember the Trust thing in 'Chasing the Dragon' But again man, congratulations. Thats incredible. Maybe pray about buying a laptop with that money. Vanessa has one and its really useful to all.
Very nice email from house of grace lady. I'm all about going to visit. I've got fridays and saturdays basically off so i will be able to go up then. In a week and a half i'm leaving for like four days to go help with a rural ministry about eight hours away from bangkok that the church is invovled in. Its supposed to be pretty incredible poverty. I will take many pictures.
Speaking of pictures, the pictures are going up on the internet soon. i think vanessas on that.
hah. i will now address your rumors. Rumor #1: True and False. You dont want to drink the water.. no. But its really not that bad and brushing your teeth with it will not get you sick. Rumor #2: False. No yellow fever shot. Only if you are going to be on the thai border is yellow fever shot necessary (like near Laos) and i dont think you are going to. I mean, if you really feel like you should have it go ahead but i dont and neither does any other of the team members. Rumor #3: FALSE FALSE FALSE. You go to the baggage claim. On the way, you show a guy your visa. He checks it quickly, then lets you by. There are carts there at baggage claim to get your luggage. Put your luggage on the push carts. State that you have nothing to claim because you aren't going to bring any commercial merchandise into Bangkok, hand the man your card, then you will be out of the airport. Whole process took maybe 15 minutes.
Oh and. Power of Attourney is what you need to fill out and get notorized by a notary.
ok wow phew. and i haven't even started to tell you whats been going on here. Ok so tuesday. We had just eaten lunch. It was 2 pm. I was trying to fix the speaks to the stereo in the ministry. We have to teach english at six. And we had yet to go over anything. We had some ideas that was it. Greg, Allison, and the kids were in the room. Along with Vanessa. V: "Chris, well, its two. I'm going to go take a nap now..." C: "Hold up a minute, lets go over english stuff. I'm almost done looking at this." Two minutes later. V: "Ok Chris. I have to go to the bathroom, and i want to take a nap. And your still looking at the speaks so i'm going to go ahead and go." C: "Vanessa. Hold on i'm almost done. We REALLY need to go over this stuff. We have to teach it in four hours and we haven't even looked at it. Go to the bathroom, then come back and we will look at the stuff." V leaves, then comes back in an awful mood. C: "ok. blah blah blah english stuff blah. (lots of me talking her not saying anything just being pissy and acting like she didn't want to be there) V: "Stop it Chris, we need to talk about you and me." C: "Yeah, your right we do... The interns at CCF work 18 hour days in Atlanta. I dont know why you cant be a little bit flexible. Everything doesn't have to be so cut and dry. You dont have to work for a designated time period, then break for a designiated time period every day. Do you not want to be prepared for this evening?" V: (gets crazy and really loud) "WELL YOU DONT HAVE TO CONTROL EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAS TO BE YOUR WAY" C: (in a low voice) "Vanessa please stop" V: "NO. I'M LEAVING" Vanessa stoms out of the ministry. Goes to her room. I go and tell greg what happened. He doesn't really say much. I call up vanessa and tell her that i'm sorry, we need to talk and it upsets me that shes upset. She comes back down 20 minutes later. We go and talk. She tell me in sobs. That she doesn't want to be here. She hates Thailand. She hates most of us. She thinks i'm really two faced. And that i act horrible to her, then act amazing around greg and allison. And greg and allison really like me. And greg told her that she was being to critical. And how she hates herself. She doesn't feel like she serves any purpose here. That she is worthelss and i do everything better then her.
I tell her there is no reason for us not to get along. That we are on the same team. I told her and you and i courtney and the jealousy issues that we went through and how we finally realized what happened. That all the things that she is saying is nothing but Satan trying to tear the team apart (she acts like she doesn't want to believe it, she thinks that its herself to blame and she trys to place how awful thoughts about all of us on herself) I say, that shes a christain. And because shes a christain, those kind of thoughts wont come from her, who has been transformed not to have evil thoughts. That those thoughts are only put into her head by another source. I say that of course she is suppsed to be here, otherwise she wouldn't be here. I told her that this was what Thailand was all about. Being broken down. Being out of your comfort zone. But after you are broken down, you will reemerge, stronger than ever. And some other things i can't remember. I say that she needs to talk it out.
She says she doesn't want to talk anymore. And doesnt. Then says we should work on english. And we do and things are better.
English: We have games, ADVENTURES IN BANGKOK segment, News segment, and more Games. 10 people show up. It was amazing. Lots of crazy acting by yours truly. I basically just cut loose. Was never nervous (thanks to God) and it went off without a hitch. Greg was beaming. To have 10 people show up in the first lesson just blew him away. We've been putting massive amounts of prayer into the ministry already and its paid off.
Wednesday, i got a note from Vanessa who left it in my bag: Dear Chris, So, this morning my devotional for "The Purpose Driven Life" was about fellowship. The verse that caught my eye was: "Make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification" - Romans 14:19 I'm not sure why we have been tearing each other down so much -- but i feel as if we are both at fault.. be the cause Satan or jealousy or displacement of other frustations... I dont know. But you are right to say that there is no reason why we shouldn't get along... Im sitting here thinking that there's no reason why I should feel such animosity towards you. I always thought you were cool at CCF. We have similar interests, and we hve the same purpose here. You Yet i always feel as if i have somthing to prove to you. I am always on the defense.. and it shows. I'm sorry. I'm going to work on thinking more before i speak most of the time I haven't even meant what i've been saying. I was jsut being a jerk.... I dont know whether or no i belong here. I felt yesterday as if I had made the biggest mistake in coming to Thailand... but tehn, after last night, i was SO encouraged! You really did well during English class. You have a Charisma and humor that allows people to let down their guard and feel comfortable. I know that you've been discouraged about not meeting many people at campus -- but dont be! You have so many other gifts that no one else in the group has.... (side note: this is something i've been praying about.. not meeting anyone. And God gave me a clear answer: "Be patient" It still consumes my thoughts though.) Dont be hard on yourself. You were great last night. Lets work on showing each other a little more mercy -- not because we have to, but because we want to. -V "
OK. so wow. what a great note. incredible note. And i thank God for Vanessa. I was told yesterday by Brain that she was still a wreck and seriously again thinking about leaving again so this turmoil is still up in the air.
Wednesday night i went to Thai Christain students again. It was a smaller group in a smaller room (about 15 people) and it was nice. At one point, a girl turned to me in english and said, "If you want to tell us about how you became a Christain or how God had changed your life you can do so now." I thought she was just translating and someone had said that to the entire group. But when i looked up, everyone was looking at me. And i was like, "oh... ME? Now?" So i launched into it. And I told it like i had never told it before. The spirit talked through me, and i told it simple english clearly and plainly how God had changed my life. It was amazing.
Thursday morning, as we are going to do everything thursday morning now for the rest of the time, we went to a Thai orphinage. I took care of eight months old to 1 1/2 years old. Courtney. It was an increidble experience and i was touched so much. And my heart broke for these children. Children of child abuse, abandonment, and whose parents were in jail. And the orphinage wasn't a slum whole either. It was actually really nice.
I'm been growing and growing and growing and learning and learning and learning. Thats all i've been doing here. I'm so excited that you too will have this opportunity. Vanessa fights that growth i think, fights it with all of her will. I embrace it with open arms. im sometimes wonder if you will even recognize me. Sometimes i am so filled with joy here i could almost burst.
Some things that have touched me in Wild at Heart: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, becaus what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Thailand makes me come alive. I think what it might have been if i had gone and gotton a job straight out of college. I would have joyful, yes. But alive, no. In Thailand, I am more than just alive. I am truly living.
The next thing i read, is exactly what i needed to hear because it describes exactly how i need to feel in Thailand.
"Naturally, we are inclined so much to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing... Certainty is the mark of a common sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of a spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation."
Yesterday (thursday), it was 7:45 pm. Brandon and Amber were teaching english, so brian and i were wandering around campus. We were actually heading back to english classes so we could help with the last game or so. The whole time, the words of the pasage above 'breathless expectation' kept on going through my head... 'breathless expectation' 'breathless expectation' Nothing, however, had happened at all that day, besides the orphinage in the morning. I had not met anyone again. Just more vacent wandering. And i was speaking to Brain about that very thing. Again, another day in which i had met not one thai studnet. 'breathless expectation' 'breathless expectation' We wander past interpark, the social place with lots of places to eat and drink and internet on the way home. Brian sees a person hes met before. From there, we both meet about 5 other people. They invite us up to a party in which we meet about 20 other people. We leave, walk down to where we live to teach english, when a taxi stops about 15 minutes from where we live with 5 thai girls. We talk to them, invite them to english. And they walk with us back to learn. 'breathless expectation' One of the girls, listens to all the music i listen to. what? In thailand? 'breathless expectation' we arrive at english with our five people. the place was already packed with with 12 other thai studnets. With all of us, the number in the small ministry room was brought up to 22! 'breathless expectation' we play games have an amazing time. We all watch a movie 'along came polly' afterwards. Go get coffee. Then stay up and watch the eurocup match at 1:45 am til 4:30 in the morning. 'breathless expectation!' did i mention that at 7:45 the same day NOTHING was happening. NOTHING. NOTHING turned into SOMETHING which turned into AMAZING. And for the first morning in thailand yet, i woke up this morning, not feeling as if i had to start all over from scratch. To start spiritually from the ground up. But, i woke with incredible joy and with the breathless expectation of what was going to happen today.
i am so happy for you. Incredible things are happening in your life in which the grace of God cannot be denied. Tell me you are living with this same breathless expectation of what thailand holds for you. Dont be anxious, dont hold your breath about Thailand. You will will not need that breath here. God will do the breathing for you.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 20.6.04
10.41.p -
hey court --
sorry i didn't get your email about the book thingy til today (monday). it was a brilliant and noble idea but alas much to late. The idea, however, prompted me to go on amazon.com and send him a book as a late fathers day present (wild at heart) so that will be arriving between 4 and 14 business days. so yeah thanks for the idea.
whoa ok so lots of things have happened where do i begin.
oh! ok. so last wednesday we went to the Thammassat Christian Students meeting. It was about 20 or so students for a two hour meeting. Most of the meeting consisted of lots of crazy games and songs. I completely and utterly lost one of the games (losing games seems to be the story of the week) so thus i had to inact a penalty. The penalty of which was writing my name in the air with my Butt. Highly embarassing, but i feel like i always make the most out of all embarassing situations and turn them into something funny. The good thing was, now that my name is shorter ( 3 letters "FIB" ) the butt action was kept to a minimum.
While at the meeting I met a girl named "Uhm" who informed me that she would love if i taught her english. I, of course, said "sure!" because what, was i going to say no? Well, after the meeting, she came up to me and asked that she would love it if i came to dinner with her. I told her that i would love to but to "wait one second -- i'll be right back." Well, what do you think i did? thats right, i went straight over to Vanessa said "hey, girl wants me to go to dinner with her will you come along with us?" She said "hah. yeah" So i dragged her back to Uhm and said "Is it ok if Vanessa goes with us?" Well, i think she got the point cause she really didnt talk to me that much after that. She instead, went over to Brandon and started working him. Which involved her buying him dinner. Then after dinner saying that she would love if HE would be her english tutor. Hah. I asked Brandon later how it felt to have "sloppy seconds."
But wait. Chris wasn't the only one who got hit on. Vanessa (WE!) as we call her in Thai made friends with a Thai guy that was named (WE!) same name different tones. Well she mustive made quite an impression because the next day vanessa got an email from We AND a text message with the following limeric *ahem*:
"If you need a friend and there are 100 steps between us.
You take the first step towards me.
And i will take 99 steps to be with you. "
Whoa! SMOOTH ACTION. Well Brian wasn't to happy with that response as you can imagine. Which reminds me and i kept on forgetting to tell you. Guess what. Brian and Vanessa are DATING. yes they are DATING now officially and out in the open. They went on date on Saturday to see Laws of Attraction. They are also kind of touchy feely around all of us and i guess i'm ok with it? I dunno. Just thought it was interesting.... thought you might find it interesting as well. yes.
I had one-on-one time with Greg last week, and he told me that of the five kids here that i showed the most initiative toward learning the language and offered the most to the group as far as input and encouragement and that he appreciated it immensely. Which was nice. I'm just fighting the battle man. I'm digging in.
Friday consisted of all of us going to language school downtown. We sat in class for 3 sessions over three hours. Its the method of learning in which they dont speak any english just thai but use lots of hand motions and drawings so you can tell what they are talking about. It was cool and i learned alot but i feel like i want to know MORE MORE and MORE and that i can't learn enough quickly enough. Oh wait. I did do good in a game i forgot. In class we played this game which involved beans in a circle. You would fold a piece of paper and try to pick up the beans. The only catch was that you couldn't touch any other of the beans. and you had to do it in one motion. Well, everyone thought it was rediculously hard. Like the most beans anyone else in the class picked up was two and most people didnt get any. I got 11? I dont know how. Everyone kept on clapping and thought that i was amazing. And i was just like, "is this supposed to be hard?" I felt embassed that i was doing so good after the 11th bean, i lost on purpose.
After language lessons we went bowling. i got a 66. the lowest score of anyone. Even moses and zula did better then me. well, they had bumpers. but still. a 66? i think my grandmother could do better. oh we went and got chinese before that i got to implement some of my chinese language skills.
Saturday -- Brandon, Amber, and I went to Bangkok. The whole journey consisted of 5 forms of transportation (six if you count your legs) Biked to shuttle, shuttle to subway, subway to Bangkok. Once we got downtown, we took a boat across the river. Then to return, we took a taxi to the subway, subway to shuttle, shuttle to bikes, then bikes back to home. phew. yes it was exhausting.
which leads me to my next story which i like to title "THE TOURIST TRAP." yes. please gather around children as i tell this menacing tale of how a mean mean thai man trapped innocent foreigners into his evil money making schemes.
We had just got off the ferry and we were heading towards the wat (temple). On the way, we passed several innocent looking fun picture ops. You know the ones. They usually have some funny cardboard cutout picture with the head missing. You, as a tourist, stick your head through the hole and suddenly take on a funny pose or body. This one happened to be of a Thai dancing women and a Thai warrior together. Both with proper holes. These things were just out in the middle of nowhere on the way to the temple. They almost looked like they belonged to the temple. No one was around them, so we took a mental note in our head of them, then went and saw the temple. On our way back (after stopping shortly for espresso and talking time next to the river) we approached said "funny picture ops" on the way back to the ferry. Amber, being the impulsive one, said, "hey guys, you know we really should take our picture with one of these things." So me and brandon climbed up. I was the Thai warrior and he was the pretty princess. how charming and funny. Amber took the picture, we climbed down off of our posts then he STRUCK:
"ONE PICTURE 40 BAHT" A thai man flew out of nowhere uttering his obvious incoherancies.
"What are you talking about?" I uttered. Theres no sign anywhere that says "ONE PICTURE 40 BAHT"
But i was proved wrong. The Thai man pointed to the very bottom of the cardboard cutout. On a piece of tape that was one inch by one inch on this eight foot cardboard cutout and disquised to fade into the background was single statement "40 Baht"
We had been decieved. We realized immediately, but decided to be good sports. I got out some money because i decided to not let Amber foot the bill alone, and Amber got her wallet as well. Well, when the man saw all our money he changed his tune.
"40 BAHT PER PERSON" he cried!
Well i had had enough. We had already been decieved, but now he was trying to take this too far.
I said, "Oh no.. No where does it say 40 baht per person, it just says 40 baht. We dont have that kind of money to just fork over to you. Heres 40 baht." I shoved him the money, then turned around and started walking away.
"40 BAHT PER PERSON! 40 BHAT PER PERSON! GIVE ME 40 MORE BAHT!" He screamed, now raising his voice even higher. He was using the scare method. Scaring the tourists into thinking that they are breaking the law so they will fork over more money. I grabbed Amber and Brandon who were again fishing for their wallets, and started walking towards the ferry. After a few more wild and empty threats, the thai man stopped and walked away to hide for the next potential victim.
The whole experience was just kind of upsetting and left a bad taste in ours mouths for the thai people. We had a hard time trusting other Thais for the rest of the day.
I read a few good Stinebeck quotes the other day i thought you might find interesting:
" The techniques of opening conversation are universal. I knew long ago and rediscovered that the best way to attract attention, help, and conversation is to be lost. A man who seeing his mother starving to death on a path kicks her in the stomach to clear the way, will cheerfully devote several house of his time giving wrong directions to a total stranger who claims to be lost "
We found this out on saturday as well. As we stood there and sometimes paused to open the map and take a look, we must have had five thais come up and help us. This also happened to me two weeks ago in the city. Now if we could only take that method to the Thamasaat campus....
I also came across this in Stinebeck, and it epitomized my last two days in America. I tell you this so that right before you leave you will know what to expect.
"In long-range planning for a trip, I think there is a private conviction that it won't happen. As the day approached, my warm bed and comfortable house grew increasingly desirable and my dear wife incalculably precious. To give these up for three months for the terrors of the uncomfortable and unknown seemed crazy. I didn't want to go."
yes.
Also, words from Wild at Heart, that i've been (dare i say it and reap literary taboo) "taking to heart" towards Vanessa:
"Let people feel the weight of who you are, then let them deal with it."
Now i know this doesn't traslate into being mean. But be gritty, push people, and be, well, YOU. Dont hold back.
hey court. i've been typing for an hour now. I'm not sure if this is everything, but maybe i should save some for the next email. Thanks always for your encouraging words, and hope to hear from you soon.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 16.6.04
11.46.a -
yo court --
hope this email finds you well. i'm enjoying your emails immensely so KEEP THEM COMING. thanks.
Church was good on Sunday again. Greg actually preached and had a traslator. He spoke about Lamentations and praising God throughout all situations. I think the Thais really liked it. I thought it was interesting because he talked about these old testament verses in which the Isrealites were punished because they were told to go into their land and clear the land of all gods except the one true God and they didnt do it. I wonder what the Thai Christains thought of that being in a land dominated by massive amounts of other Gods.
In Sunday school we had to act out togetherness in a group. I was in a group with 3 high school girls who spoke very little english. We decided to act out a scene in which one person was planting rice, then another person would come up and help them, then another person would come up and help that person etc. Well, when i came up I decided to walk up riding a horse. So i trotted up to them and said "HOWDY rice farmers! Need a little help on the rice ranch!" Everyone thought it was really funny. I asked one of the girls in my group later what she thought about me coming up on the horse. She said "horse, no! You were riding a water buffalo" oooooooh. obviously a water buffalo. how could i be so stupid.
We went to a huge market later that afternoon which had everything and the kitchen sink. They also had some hip clothes that i thought i would be interested in purchasing at a later time. The market was so huge i got lost like 3 times.
I sat in English class again with another guy this time at the church. This guy comes from sweeden and teaches english. ITS NOT THAT EASY. You have to be really creative and speak really slow and say things like 3 times. This guy lives at the church, and I told him about you and asked if he had any advice for you. He told me to tell you that when you come the church will try to get you to teach english EVERY WAKING MOMENT. That you need to put your foot down early and say I only want to teach like 2 or 3 days a week. Because if you dont, you'll be teaching english every night and wont have days off which you need.
So. I was in the ministry brain storming about possible new names for it and these came up: Edible English, Alphabet Soup, English Evenings, Excitable English, English Expressions. Then i started really thinking. When i was in China four years ago, the "cool" thing to do was have like double words of the same word stand for something. Like renren.com was HUGE then. That meant "people people" And the whole philosophy of the ministry is not geared to english learning like they have in the classroom but of social english. Now, the Thai word for "talk" is POOT. So MY idea was to name the ministry "Poot Poot." Which i think is really cool and hip. Also, it provides for some good design ideas. Everyone likes it. Greg and Allision are not sure about it yet but are going to throw it around in their heads for awhile so i'll get back to you about that.
I'm reading Wild At Heart and learning lots and loving it. Dont have time to talk about all the things i love about it on here.
Two nights ago, Greg and I wandered around campus by ourselves. We stopped by the badmitton courts and saw his friend named Farm who was really nice. Then we were walking in the student center area when three girls came up to us nicely dressed. They said "EXCUSE US, WE HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU." They then stepped back three feet. They stood in a row, cupped their hands together in front of them, and proceeded to yell at the top of their lungs "I AM HOT, I LOVE YOU" We thought it would have been better if they had yelled "YOU ARE HOT" but we will take love anyway it comes. Actually, they were freshman and it was part of their initiation. They ran back to this guy who was provoking them to do really embarassing things.
Last night, I went walking on the campus by myself. I went and sat in the student center for awhile and watched this singing group perform. Ran into greg as he was going to play vollyball. I then proceeded to eat at the student canteen, then went and watched a Thomasaat Soccer Game which was crazy as their were about 200 kids who were part of the cheering/singing section. They were singing and dancing and beating drums and had like crazy cheers one of which involved guys taking their shirts off and serenading the girls in a very west side story esque greece musical kind of way. Hard to describe but really insane. Throughout the whole experience no one came up and talked to me, but it just felt good to be out there walking around.
This morning, Brian, Brandon and I went on a prayer walk. And it was amazing. I felt the spirit work through us more then ever since i've been to thailand. I felt such power, and as we were walking and praying for people who passed us, I was thinking that these are probably people who no one has EVER prayed for before, and I was filled with such joy that i can at least make a difference in this way.
However, I had no idea that spiritual warfare in thailand would be this huge. I mean, greg talked about it having a huge effect on the ministry but i could not imagine anything like this. Its really hard to describe the effects and the lies. It started yesterday at the ministry in the afternoon right before i went out on campus. I did NOT want to go. Like not at all. Faced with these thoughts and feelings I would try to pray but even these would have little effect. Once i got out there it was fine, but just going was the hard part. Brandon and Brian didn't even go for some reason as they both had pretty lame excuses and they must have been bombarded the same. Also this morning i did not want to prayer walk. I woke up and just didn't want to do anything. Lies about it making no difference and why am i here and this sucks. Again, once i started the prayer walk it was amazing, but just leading up to it was torture. Its like being the only American in Berlin during World War II while the rest of your troops are still at the beach in Normandy. It feels very alone and distant. Very strong forces at work here. Missionaries have been coming to Thailand for hundreds of years and still haven't had very much effect. Satan does not want to give this place up. I think every morning when i wake up, I am really going to have to just dig into God because if i dont I'll be trampled over. I dont want to make you scared, but you need to know that it is not going to be easy.
I hope you have a WONDERFUL next few days. I miss you lots and again LOVE your emails.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 12.6.04
9.10.p -
Courtney --
So good to hear form you. I'm sorry i haven't emailed you a reply sooner but getting on the internet isn't nearly as easy or convenient as I thought it was going to be. Internet cafes aren't everywhere like they are in China. And the few computers that are in our apartment complex are pretty crappy and slow.
I DID end up seeing Harry Potter 3 the other night and thought it was wonderful! For like 30 minutes i forgot i was in Thailand. For 4 dollars you can get lazy boy chairs -- but we didn't. And we had to stand up and salute the king before the movie and watch this super cheezy sappy king video which makes greg cry everytime.
The last 3 days i've actually been away from home and in Bangkok. We picked up the Reach interns (A TOTAL OF 4) Two for greg, and two for the coley's GREAT friends Jeff and Terra. Do you know them? Well, you'll be happy to know that Terra's ministry is with Thai prostitutes in BANGKOK. I told her about you and that you were coming and that you were really interested in working with something similar to her ministry and that you were living in the Thai church in the fall, and she said that she would LOVE for you to come work for her when you can in the FALL. Also, maybe if you like it, it might be more of your thing to staying working for them in the spring as well. I mean, you did do all of your own fundraising so i assume you can choose who you want to work with. Oh, they are affiliated with CMF as well so its a part of the CMF family. Jeff and Terra are both Georgia Tech CCF grads. Wonderful people.
Reach interns. Amber from Utah -- quiet, but opening up. Really nice girl. Glad to have her on the team. Brandon from ccf -- very nice as well. I'm excited that they are working with us now. Our team seems stronger now then it did at the start. Vanessa still having some problems. It seems that she eats about anything she can get her hands on now. I think i counted yesterday and she ate a total of like 10 times during the day. Three of which were meals -- the rest snacks. Comfort food? I dunno. I feel bad for her.
The whole team had a scavenger hunt at the local mall called FUTURE PARK. This mall makes the mall of georgia look like a amatur. ITS HUGE. Vanessa and I were on a team. Part of the scavenger hunt was to take pictures in one of the photo booths. These are run by Thais with a variety of backgrounds and poses. Anyways, the Thai girl assumed we were together and put us in a bunch of romantic kissy kissy poses. IT WAS SO FUNNY. You have to see these pictures. Also, when we were eating that day, Brian tried to get one slice of cake from this upscale bakery shop. Well, they misunderstood him and he ended up having to buy the entire cake for 480 baht!!!! YOU CAN GET A MEAL FOR 25 baht!!! THATS ONE EXPENSIVE CAKE OMG. SO FUNNY.
Oh. I've got a thai named now. Dubbed by greg's kids. WHO I LOVE BTW. Ready!? My name is "FIB" Thats right Fib. Greg said hes jealous. He wishes he had cool thai nickname.
My Thai vocab is up to about 25-30 words which i'm also encouraged about. Continue to pray for language abilities for me. I start teaching english at the church two weeks from sunday. Also, english classes start at the ministry in another week. So we have one more week off i guess. Not really off. The ministry isn't nearly done being cleaned yet and needs lots of work.
We got Thai messages on friday.. which i would NOT recommend. Its just not very comfortable. They flip you this way and that way and prod this and poke that. At one point, the girl kept on trying to crack my back by rolling me up onto her legs as she was lying on her back. It never worked, and i kept landing on top of her where i would remain for a second because i didn't know if this was the message move or she had just messed up. She would then start laughing and try to do it again. and again. and again. Finally i was like OK OK! Anyways, weird. and not that enjoyable. Thai message thumbs down.
While we were staying a Tera and Jeff's all the interns took Zula and Moses to the mall for the evening and allowed the coleys the night off. Well, when i say interns i mean, i was in charge of the kids. I LOVE THEM TO DEATH BUT DONT GET ME WRONG THEY ARE INSANE. Feeding kids is hard work. They needed specific Thai food which i sought out and found and force fed them by promising them candy. Then, i got them drinks. Drinks without lids. I couldn't find lids anywhere. So what happens. Zula spills orange Soda ALL OVER HER. Like soaked completely.
i still bought them candy.
Ok. Now to what you said in your email. You say "guard my heart" but then you say "why dont you say 'i love you in christ'" well, now you know the reason. of COURSE i love you in christ. but i was trying to guard your heart.
i still miss you and i'm going to say it no matter what you say cause i do ok?
i still really love it here. So much to learn and see and learn and see and learn and learn and learn. Spiritual warfare is killer here though. And i'm beginning to see that. I'm trying to pray even more then i did in the states. At Terra and Jeff's i had terror dreams and i woke up and prayed and prayed and prayed until i fell asleep again.
We prayed in our rooms and university to welcome god in and kick spirits out. Because Thailand is spiritual place, but not good spiritual.
i think thats all i have jotted on my little list to tell you about. YES I KEEP A THINGS I NEED TO TELL COUNRTNEY LIST. So hope you have a good day!
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 8.6.04
4.43.p - cow pat guy ow bai
Ok. First of all. Amazing email. Second of all. The subject of the email means: Chicken Fried Rice to Go. This is a phrase i've learned and used in my first three days of being here. yess. go me.
first of all (again) i almost feel very unworthly of such a great email. already i've been struggling with unconditional love. i know what you are going to say "ok, you've only been there three days" YES I KNOW. but yeah. struggle. vanessa is trying to maintain a semblance of control in her life. shes stayed in her room the last three nights cleaning her room. trying to make it a perfect haven of sorts and not hanging out with us. this afternoon, we were going to go see a movie, but then she said "well, you know i've still got some cleaning and organizing in my room to do..." and i kind of got a little peeved because what is she going to spend the entire trip in her room? is that what its about? i made my room as ugly as possible just so I wouldn't want to stay in it so much. she really just needs to let go of control. and the sooner she lets go, the sooner control will be built up -- but in other ways. does this make sense? so. i guess i need to talk to her. and of COURSE I NEED TO LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER NOW BECAUSE HOW IM ACTING IM JUST PUSHING HER IN HER ROOM EVEN MORE AND THAT IS NOT WHAT JESUS WOULD LIKE. yes? yes. Yes? yes. ok. So i know what i have to do. And your email was right on. And yes i know 1 Corinthians 13 by heart. and yes i was even thinking about it when i was getting madder and madder and madder. so deep breath and pray more. i need to pray more also. i have. but not enough. thank you for your prayers though. they are wonderful.
the rooms we are staying in our right down from the ministry. like right there. like i could spit on the ministry from my room if i wanted to. but i guess i dont really want to because the ministry should not be spit on i dont think. bad news though. you were right when you said it prob. wasn't going to be possible to come down and work here during the week. because we are a good bit out of the city. like WAY out. Like i dont feel like we are in Bangkok at all. Which -- i mean -- i kind of wish i was closer? Bangkok is really nice too. You are going to love living there. Its not that dirty and very pretty in lots of areas. Where we are living its more run down. more third world.
The last two days we have been cleaning out the ministry. It needed ALOT of work. BJ didnt do any cleaning at ALL before he left. Plus -- it just sat there for 3 months untouched so a lot of dust had built up. Its coming together now though which is incouraging. The interior decoration also needs alot of work. Bad color scheme (think primary colors) I am going to use my wall tapistry to spice things up a bit. It sucks though because if we were in the states i would know exactly where to go to buy things to make it alot cooler, but here i am quite limited right now. Its a work in progress.
yesterday we went to thai wal mart. got supplies. ate at a japanese restaurant (gyoza) yum.
today took a tour of campus. its pretty nice. took brian to register for classes.
oh. i almost forgot. church on sunday was really good. LOTS of people spoke english and were very nice. i helped with an english class. it was really funny. The class asked me if "i like thai massage" and i said "WHO DOESNT LIKE THAI MASSAGE" but they didnt really understand what i said and thought i said that i didn't like thai massage. which reminds me WE ARE GETTING THAI MASSAGES ON FRIDAY YES!!!! we start teaching english classes there in two weeks just on sundays and i will have my own little class. Church is RIGHT downtown next to lots of cool stuff. I think you will love living there. The church service itself was really cool. Lots of prayer. Like they prayed at least six times. They even sang a song i recognized in Thai, but it was hard to follow along in english. um what else.
i miss you and loved your email. i'm getting a cell phone soon. i think you are going to do GREAT here. as crazy as this place is, its lots of fun so far and i think you are going to love it.
i was going to see harry potter tonight BUT YOU HAVE DISCOURAGED ME FROM IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN COUNTRY. HAHAHHA. JUST KIDDING. IM STILL SEEING IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE BRIAN JUST ASKED ME IF YOU HAD GOOD TASTE IN MOVIES AND I SAID, "OH YEAH. I FORGOT. SHE DOESNT. SHE DOESNT EVEN LIKE LOST IN TRANSLATION" just kidding though really we are going to go see it regardless.
i know there is lots more to say but i cant remember more at the moment.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 5.6.04
9.59.p -
hello. i am in thailand. travel went off without to many mishaps. but mishaps happen inevitably and i was expecting that. One mishap being that Greg thought my flight wasn't arriving for another day. So when i arrived in Bangkok no one was there to greet me. I called him up and said. "hey, is this greg?" he was like "yeah" i was like "what are you doing?" he was like "sleeping" I was like "well i'm at the airport?" and he was like "in bangkok?" And i was like "yeah." he actually thought i was calling from the airport in Atlanta to let him know i was leaving and thought i was really dumb because i didn't understand that it was 2 AM IN THE MORNING. After he understood/woke up, he came like 20 minutes later and i didn't get harrassed to much by taxi cabs.
Today we went into Bangkok. Ate lunch with some friends of his who work at Nike and live like kings as ex-patriots (they have a house keeper and a crazy huge apartment) Vanessa, Brian, and I then journeyed into Bangkok, walked around, took in the sights. Greg and family had a wedding to go to. We reconveined at starbucks around 7pm. Then headed home at 9. And i am now exhausted.
Bangkok is great. Way less crowded then China, less dirty as well. Hot as a mother. Atlanta humidity is a total joke compared to this place. Not like anything i've ever experienced. Overall wonderful day. Church in the morning. Then we move into our apartments tommorow afternoon. The apartments i'm told are actually connected to the ministry. So not really long walk to work. We are staying at greg and allisons until then. Not sure if this email is making sense as I am really really tired, but you get the gist. You can expect future updates in a few days.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 19.2.04
4.26.p -
God has his own story that hes going to do with or without us we can choose to make up our own story and then by the end of life have a little one act play or we can choose to be part of Gods story really, the only story that exists. because God's story rocks. God's story is amazing. and hes inviting us into his story.
We have to join Gods story And stop trying to get God to join our story. That lets us see God's will for God's life. And it will be obvious and clear.
And when we talk about joining Gods story. we are not talking about career paths here we are not talking about ways to make more money we're talking about joining a turbulent current. something that makes the Zambeze river in Africa look like the trickle coming out of the hose
The movie 'the passion' is coming out next week And when you are watching this movie You may not be able to breathe You may come out and you may not be able to talk Because the life of Jesus christ was not Ho Hum The life of Jesus christ was turrential.
I know. 8 months ago i wasn't part of gods story. i was BORING 6 months ago i gave my testimony in front of 300 people me. who scared of talking in front of 6 people deathly scared what? how did that happen? then there that i'm going to live Bangcock, Thailand for a year the city thats known for its massive sex industry then who knows after that thats INSANE thats CRAZY
But a bunch of people will still try to go into their back yards and try to dig a canal and say "Oooh... look a river" And god will say: "Thats not a river, I'VE got a river." Its a strong current though.
The story: Its a story of a Glorious God. God, in this story, is going to bring ultimate attention, value, and glory to himself. God's highest value is God. Hes motivated by his Glory. If he were to change that center of attention to something else He stops being God. He knows that everything works best when you revolve around him. Not when we try to get him to revolve around us.
Psalm 135: Praise the LORD . [1]
Praise the name of the LORD ; praise him, you servants of the LORD , 2 you who minister in the house of the LORD , in the courts of the house of our God.
3 Praise the LORD , for the LORD is good; sing praise to his name, for that is pleasant. 4 For the LORD has chosen Jacob to be his own, Israel to be his treasured possession.
5 I know that the LORD is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods. 6 The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths.
Psalm 119:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Isiah 42:8 8 "I am the LORD ; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols.
There is only going to be one kind of Glory And its his Glory Because Theres only one God, and its not ME.
Thats what happened to Adam and Eve. God put him in their story of glory and they said NO! We don't want to be in your story of glory we want to be in OUR story of glory. He said "Hey, but you can rule over the whole world" they said "no, we don't want to rule over the whole world, we wanna be you." so they ate the fruit. but that wasn't the end. God didn't say:
"oooh.. you in trouble. you in trouble. ooh. you in trouble now you are SO in trouble NOW thats it, i'm out, you in trouBLE" no.
Galatians 4:4
4But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba,[1] Father." 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
The cross is just a historical marker that says "gods story can't be stopped. You can't stop it. You can't stop the current. its still going.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 14.2.04
1.15.p - who to remain sexually pure in our culture.
god makes rules because he love us.
say yes to love, no to second-rate love.
#1 Loving relationships demands sexual purity.
Again, Ephisians 5 1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[1] 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.
you can worship God, or yourself.
7: Therefore, do not be partners with them.
why?
8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.
when you are in darkness. you can't see. you hurt other people in darkness.
"I am the light of the world"
What should we do?
9: Live as children of light.
The average Christian in America doesn't live any differently then the average non Christian.
We need to not put up with that. We need to walk in the light. We need to be radical.
What does the light consist of?
1. All Goodness Moral Excellence. Kindness, generosity, moral excellence. Purity of Heart.
2. All Rightousness Person that is respected. Giving to god what is due him. Doing life right. Obeying, caring, saving, giving peopole the respect they deserve.
3. All Truth integrity. inside out they walk in the light. no guilt. no chain.
Verse 10: and find out what is pleasing to the Lord.
In Greek, trying to test in order to approve. Walk in the light, in order that by your experience you can test and approve that this new life works.
#2 Sexual purity demands a game plan.
Trying real hard will not work.
Game plan: 1 -- Develop Convictions. which means. I don't care what other people think of me. Under pressure, i will not fail. 2 -- Ponder Consequences "because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient." When involved in sexual immorality it crushes my relationship with God. It may ruin the relationship. I may get STD. i want the best. And I don't want the consequences. To begin to fear God, is the beginning of true knowledge. PONDER 3 -- Make pre-decisions Advance decision making. Make a list. In the heat of the battle, if you try to make decision, you will fail evertime.
2 Timothy 2
22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 Corinthians 6:18
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Pre-Decisions When something that comes on tv that is suggestive, its late at night, you are lonely, change channel. When someone is not dressed much, second look or not? Who are you going to date? Believer, non-believer. When people get in trouble, they aren't going to wake up one day and say "man, this would be a good day to ruin my life."
4 -- Get Accountability Asking others to keep your commitment to God.
Romans 12 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Walking in the life, and starting a revolution. Find people you can trust.
sexual purity payoff is phat.
don't believe its too late. ITS NEVER TOO LATE!
you have to stand up. and say: "This day be for god"
last night made 160 - which is crazy i was going to buy some new shoes with money only to get speeding ticket on way home. awesome. 80 in 55. I-85 is 55 speed limit? what?
i have new way of waiting tables. in which i don't look at tips when i get them. i just take credit card slips and put them upside down in my book so a bad tip doesn't ruin my night.
watched CONAN/"the sweetest thing"/carson daily with Lana. but only to get glipse of "death cab" and glimpse i did i like her alot? yes. i'm into the friend zone? yes. of my own choosing? yes. 1. not ready to date someone now 2. not ready to date someone now 3. oh man really want to date someone 4. whatever, you are not ready. it still bothers me though. because i spend all night wtih her going. "oh man, she looks so cute. i should make move. no don't. you will just make things crazy and you don't need crazy in your life right now. come on though. NO CHRIS STOP NOW. NO I DONT WANT TO. Ok fine, i didn't want to anyway there. good. fine FINE. good." and then by the end of the night i feel as if nothing was accomplished. which is just rediculous because i just spent good time with a friend. but still, you know. i just wish i knew what she was thinking. no, you don't.
regardless, i'm going to spring break in ft. lauderdale for 4 / miami for 2 with her and group. so.... make with that what you will.
i got lazy tired last night in front of tv. so tired that you are too tired to go to sleep so you stay up extra 1, 2, 3 hours and every second is painful
4While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: 5"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. 6Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown." When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." 9His disciples asked him what this parable meant. 10He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, " 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'[1] 11"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.
A Lamp on a Stand
16"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. 18Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him."
Q: So whats going on here?
Disciples have the priviledge to behold while outsiders are blinded. Jesus indicates that being related to him is a matter of responding to the message he preaches. The parable indicates the variety of responses to the word Jesus sows in his preaching. Not everyone decides to embrace his blessing, but those who do is FRUITFUL! BLOOMS!
Q:Why is the seed a good analogy of "the word"
Often we think of evangelism and preaching as something that happens in an instant. But the picture of a seed makes us think of a farmer who prepare the ground, sows seeds, waters, then must wait weeks or months for a crop. Producing a crop takes time! Often the message of the word, too, takes time to bear fruit.
Q: How many types of soil do we have? 4 Q: How many of those bear fruit? A:1
Why do you think Jesus uses parables? Doesn't he want everyone 'to hear?'
Isiah 6:9-10
9 He said, "Go and tell this people:
" 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.' 10 Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. [1] Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed."
Now back to luke: 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand. ' Ok, this is harsh. Whats going on here. What is God doing? Doesn't he want everyone to be able to hear: The danger to revelation If we do not respond in faith eventually hardness sets in and God acts to judge you. THIS IS A WARNING TO YOU! A warning about REJECTING GODS WORD: God may HIMSELF cement the process of hardening your heart. HARSH! BUT THIS IS A WARNING OF EXTREME DANGER! Do not be WISHY-WASHY THE DANGER OF REJECTING JESUS' MESSAGE.
Also can look at similar example Exodus: 7:3
To be rooted in Good Soil one needs: Persevering (patience) Three of the examples end with the seed failing to produce that for which it was sown God sows the word to bear fruit in the heart Only by clinging patiently to what God offeres does the seed reach maturity.
Parable not about Response to the word at any given moment. It sums of different ways the word is recieved over a lifetime of exposure. It takes time to fall away from an initial attraction to the word. !!!Only over time do the pleasures of life erod the seed's effectivness!!!! CLING TO THE WORD IN PATIENT FAITH! One leads to fruitfulness the other to barrenness.
LIGHT does not just shine to reveal the way. It shines to reveal how we really are.
If you are not growing stronger, you are growing weaker.. bottom line.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 9.2.04
12.46.p - how to know if your in love
Ancient Greeks compared falling in love to going insane. Nitche says "Love is the state when you see things widley different from how they really are." Intense emotions block us from taking a look at ourselves, the person we are dating, and our relationship.
How do we know if we are really in love with someone? Is this love, or is this mearly passing?
Again, what is Love?
People say 'I love' for everything: ex. football, pizza, relationships... etc. We need to determine the difference between infatuation and love. Hollywood has told us that infatuation and love is the same thing.
Again, What is Love? It takes a balance of Three Types of Love In Greek the three words for Love are:
Eros - A need love. Based upon physical attraction and fulfillment. Is neccessary for a marrage to succeed but a marriage cannot be based on Aros Love. English word for Aros: Erotic. People in the church have been taught that Eros Love is dirty but... Proverbs 5:15-18 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed and my you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A love doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always may you ever be captivated by her love
These things are God given, but theres more to Love than that. But our culture just preaches about this kind of Love. Are people who have the best sex lives in marriage are the people who come in the least number of previous partners, the least amount of baggage? maybe.
Phileo Love: Friendship love. Reciprocal or sharing love. Activies, home, games, going to the mall, music, talking about nothing. Its about being best friends. Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Honor, practice, devotion, concern. This is about doing life together.
Third Type: Agopay Love - Spiritual Love God's love. This is the kind of love gives the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least. This is the kind of love that Forgives when you've been wounded. This is the kind of love that doesn't bring up the past. This is the kind of love that refuses to use another persons history against them.
We have to understand the difference between these three. But we are just constantly getting the message that the only kind of Love that exists is Eros.
Can we discern between infatuation or real love? If its genuine love, it takes time. I can't love someone that i don't really know. Infatuation is self-centered. When your enamoured with yourself its infatuation, its not really love. Love is other centered. When your in love, its one person. You can be infatuated with many. If you are possessive, if you are jealous, if you get uptight when they are talking to a member of the opposite sex -- infatuation, not love. When you are in love, you work for one another. Infatuation, you live in a world of dreams. A couple in love, attempt to solve problems. Infatuation, problems are disregarded or glossed over. Love is constant regardless of distance. Infatuation tends to vary over distance. When you are in love, any physical contact has meaning and is pleasurable. Infatuation: physical contact is an end to itself. Love Endures Infatuation changes like the wind.
If its infatuation: stop.
to Single People: Keep your emotional and physical involvement behind your leading from God and commitment to the other person. Do not act unless you feel like its Gods will.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 7.2.04
1.33.p -
really fast:
friday night. work off early. drinking with Lana. (jack) two spills. both involve me. Aporva sick. Lana discontent. Feel dumb for telling God as answer for everything. For stupid for feeling dumb. repeat.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 31.1.04
4.48.p - Relationships Part 2
People believe that sex is the natural next step to Love.
If i love him and give in and have sex, it will keep the relationship alive. false.
if we really love each other, sex is sanctified. false.
We don't understand the difference between love and sex. We are doomed to fail in our relationships and in our sexuality.
You want to know how something works, go to the person who created it.
Ephisians Chapter 5:1-6 Be imiators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hit of sexual immorality, or of any king of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person -- such a man is an idolater -- has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
we have been so brainwashed by our culture. God cares about us. He wants the best for us. He is not a prude.
Chapter 4:30-32 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redumption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Put off negative, Put on Positive. Walk in Love. To walk in Love: Giving, Caring, and being unselfish Be imiators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Refuse to: Take, exploit, cheat, defy, subsitute sexual activity for genuine love.
But among you there must not be even a hit of sexual immorality, or of any king of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Immorality: Anything that draws you away from one person focusing on God. Impurity: Senual indulgence at the cost of another. Greed: Desire. More more more more more sex. Sex is like a drug: the bigger, bigger, and bigger fix.
God wants us to be pure. Don't go there. Don't put it in your thoughts, don't look at it, don't put yourself in a relationship that puts you there. Don't read magazines that take you there, don't watch movies that take you there. Everytime you go there, you reduce your capacity for intimacy. Who is it that will see God? The pure in heart.
The most important thing you do in your life everyday is what you allow in your mind. That is what shapes you.
God Loves You. He has something great planned for you. Don't buy the lie.
Black and White Don't go there.
why? Sexual impurity destorys relationship. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person -- such a man is an idolater -- has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Try to experience God to the full when you are sexually immoral. It doesn't happen. You feel shame and hypocracy. At the heart of immorality is worship, but its worship of another kind.
Not Love but Lust. Not giving, taking.
5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.
"We're really in love its ok" "It won't matter later" "As long as people are committed, you don't have to be married."
It destorys your relationship with yourself.
'God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.' That seems bad that God is mad, but you wouldn't want it any other way. If things don't make you mad that are really wrong, then you aren't right.
The damage done to you by having sex before marriage is fundamentally spiritual and emotional.
Don't dress to get attention but build relationships.
God's love doesn't change because you've blown it.
"Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord, though your sins are like scarlet, they will be like snow. If you consent and obey you will eat the best of the land."
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 30.1.04
1.33.p - 867-5309
CCF! Katie, Nicole, Hot Cookies. Upstairs kitchen. I use the spatula like a pro. I can take off two cookies or more at once without stickage. Dave needs to fold his laundry.
Back down to lower kitchen. Nicole made Hot Chocolate again -- its weak. We add a little. taste. Add a little more (chocolate that is). taste. Add the whole thing. YES! Just Right. "You can never add to much chocolate" Words to live by.
Put table, hot chocolate, cookies in truck. I climb in. Buck breaks hard and I almost lose cookies at one point. We pull to the corner to the burger bowl. SET UP QUICK PEOPLE ARE COMING! TABLE DOWN. HOT CHOCOLATE DOWN. CUPS DOWN -- oh no they float away -- i hold them the rest of the time. COOOKIES.... DOWN "hey man, want some free cookies? they are straight out of the oven!" Girl semi-glances in my direction, then quickly looks back. "No, Thanks." Rejection. thats ok.
"Why are you guys doing this?" "Oh, we're just hanging out. You know... we're all friends" "No, really. Why are you doing this." "really, we're just hanging out. We're going to do this every thursday." "wow, sweet."
Cookies go like hotcakes. Cookies go like hotcookies.
"Hot chocolate is much better this time then the last time, if you were here last time." Nicole cringes everytime. She made the hot chocolate last time and we don't hold back in letting her know it sucked.
Bus stops by and driver and all kids on bus take cookies. We use call box to call random rooms and tell them about cookies. After last one, Quiggle drives me back. He seems upset. Not going to CCF. Everyone is going to think that hes avoiding Susan. He says hes not but he probably is sub-consciously. I tell him i'll cover for him. i don't really though. Well, no one asks so i don't tell.
IMAGE: Issac on phone (brother) Me on phone. (Claire-ANN) Behind CCF. Facing each other. Claire-Ann isn't coming because shes cleaning her room? what? whatever. I'll concentrate more if shes not there anyways.
Try to sit with Patrick but to full so I sit next to Dave. Its good because hes leaving for Chile in 2 weeks. I need Dave time.
Dave: Always happy, humble, incredible human being.
Rick tells Bruce Springstein 1983 concert story: "It was 1983. I lived in Athens at the time, and me and my friend decided to go see every concert at the OMNI that came out that year regardless of who it was. Bruce Springstein, the boss, came one time. The OMNI is packed that night. The OMNI goes dark and the announcer says: "Ladies and Gentlemen: BRRUUUCE SPRINGSTEIN" and the crowd goes "BRRRUUUUCEE" A single spotlight turns on and illuminates bruce's face. He speaks, "When i was growing up, I wasn't good at much of anything else. I used to sit in my room and play my guitar all the time and my dad used to bang on the wall and say 'Bruce! Put down that damn guitar and make something of yourself.' (Crowd: BRRUUUCE) Well, i didn't but down the guitar. I graduated from highschool and got my draft letter. I showed my dad the draft letter, and he said 'Thats good. Maybe then it will turn you into a real man and it will make you put down that damn guitar' Well, i went to the draft board, and I failed my draft test. (CROWD: YEEAH!) No, it was bad. I was ashamed. The people who served and died for our country should be the most respected who ever lived. Well, I went back to my house, and told my dad what had happened. He got up from sitting down and walked over to me then he put his arms around me and said with tears streaming down his face 'Thats good son, thats good' because he figured he had lost me. (CROWD: BRUUUCE)Then he reached behind me, grabbed my guitar, and put it in my hands and said 'I never want you to put down that damn guitar again.' And i haven't. So now, here i am now. Guitar still in hand. And I'm ready to rock! And i'm ready to roll! And i'm ready to rock and roll!" And he cuts into born to run. And the crowd goes absolutely crazy"
And i've got to go to class. Day to be continuted.
Customers are taking too many free napkins on 29.1.04
12.32.p - Relationships: Part 1
"I can't live without you baby" wrong.
Ephesians Chapter 5:1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved chilren; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
Mimic God. Walk in love. Its not a command, its a choice.
Dating Model: #1 Become the Right Person Instead of find the right person, be the right person. Don't search, become. Start looking at your heart, not your wardrobe. Become generous, kind, caring. Not self-focused, outwardly focused. Forgive, don't talk about people behind their back. Become a man or woman of God. Become the person someone would like to marry. #2 Walk in Love A giver instead of a getter Love, n. Love is giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least because God did that for us. Doing what you don't want to do, and you don't have the resources, but you do it anyway. #3 Fix your hope on God and seek to please Him through this relationship. Believe that God will bring you together with someone else. When it fails, repeat.
Hollywoods approach - two selfish people trying to get what each one wants.
We keep doing the same thing over and over with the same results. We are practicing for divorce.
Its you trying to satisfy you. The end is death.
Psalm 37. Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart
Its not going to be easy. You are going to be swimming upstream. People are getting married later because they are afriad to becaue of the high divorce rate.
Love, n. Love is giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least because God did that for us.
Love, n. Love is giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least because God did that for us.
We all carry lots of baggage. It doesn't matter. Give it up. Start again. Walk in Love. Has Hollywood worked for you?