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Thursday, February 22nd, 2001
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7:50 pm
I just got home from doing laundry. It is so much faster to go to the laundromat, but it means putting up with people.
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4:35 pm
Good afternoon. I am finally home. About six or seven months ago I signed up with a rather expensive (to me at least) dating service. You know, go in read a profile, watch the video, and ask the people out who you are interested in. Then, they check out your profile/video and say yes or no. I've been picked by one person, and only ever picked one person. So, I went in today. Picked 5 women. God, I hope someone says yes!
Speaking of God.. well, lets not. I hope he's having a good day. And you also.
Tomorrow I get to work all day and then drive to LA for a three day conference. Whoo-hoo. Actually, I like these conferences. You get to stay in a big comfy bed and eat a few good meals. There are free sodas everywhere. The last one I went to had Anne Richards and Gray Davis as guest speakers. (Mrs. Richards is the one who lost to Bush in the last race for governor of texas. Not that these people deserve any special attention (after all, somebody's got to do it). But it is kinda cool to hear them pander.
I'm still looking for a violin. If anyone knows where I can get a relatively inexpensive, yet really good violin, I hope they tell me. It would be very cruel to keep that kind of thing a seceret. Learning to play the violin has been one of my desires ever since I started to in the third grade. Unfortunately, I moved away and didn't have that opportunity.
It's too easy to bitch about things in here.
I quit smoking. I've lost 30 pounds. I enjoy my job, and when I don't I can call a sub. I get weekends and holidays off. I have some stability (at work at least). I'm back in school! And my classes will be online!!! there. be happy.
ttfn
current mood:  bitchy
current music: KSPC 88.7 Pomona!!!! (comment on this)
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Wednesday, February 21st, 2001
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9:08 pm
Well, I left the apartment. I went to a college campus concert. It starts in a couple of minutes. The lights were too bright. I was/am too tired. I was really just looking for a drink and it turned out to be a coffee house. There were a lot of young attractive college girls there. They were too happy. I am really not that emotionally depressed, I think it is more of a physical thing. Not to say that I don't get depressed that way also. I'm movin up the list of needs, and have struck my head against the floor of love. Love hurts, even when you don't have it.
I wander lonely
fear guides my trail
keeping the paths
of truth hidden
"Accept me as I am"
(not that I am this)
"I'm too different to be acceptable"
(let me show you how)
not enjoying this..
goodnight
current mood:  blah
current music: none (comment on this)
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7:06 pm
Wow. There are a lot of places to see and visit here at LJ. What time is it? I'm becoming a web junkie/voyuer looking through all this unwashed, fresh cut prose. So, here I sit, adding to the laundry list the extra bits that would not be here if not for me. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank saerlaithe and janice for being my friends. As soon as I remember how to write html, this page may become a little more interesting. Until then, bear with my ramblings, and try to enjoy them.
current mood:  amused
current music: KSPC The only station 88.7 (1 comment | comment on this)
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6:04 pm
Apple
cruton
bacon and chivas
long walks
through peaceful \\\\\ natural settings
with a person who wants to be there
not because it is beautiful
but because they want to be
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4:57 pm
well, day three and I am still here.
I went to my parents house to help my father figure out how to do something on his Mac. I was once a Mac addict. I thought PC users were dumb and, I don't know what. I've owned my AMD 450 for about a year now and I can never see going back. So, I had no idea how to fix his problem.
I ate a carne asada burrito for lunch. Half of it at least. I haven't been eating during the day lately. I go until I get home in the afternoon (3:30 or so). It all started a few months ago when I received VitaFree's Diet ZX. It really has worked for me, mostly because it has the effedrine effect of reducing your appetite. So, I've lost about 20 pounds because I was not eating enough on a daily basis. I've stopped taking the pills, and I haven't started to put any of the weight back on, but my eating habits are still pitiful.
My students are really getting sick of poetry, though now that I say that I realize that it was the same student who yeaterday said poetry was gay that today was bitching again.
Why do we have to live in a society that thinks poetry (well thought out insightful writing) has to be "fruity" or feminine. It talks about emotion and so as a man I am supposed to be emotionless? Supposed to watch football. Supposed to beat other men to a pulp over "respect" or "face". Supposed to go to work to support a family and never have anything else to do with them. Suppositions suck.
Anywho
current mood:  hopeful (1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 20th, 2001
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8:14 pm
The great wall watched over the sleepy hamlet as it strode confidently through the night.
el paz has been this town's companion. It's people wonder at the rest of us
Clothed in the urine of octopi, suffocating on the stench of human kindness
Why do we lie out. Why do we look the other way. Here children are allowed to believe in hate and violence as solutions!!! As the way to solve problems. And they mean it. Even if they are not as brave as their future history or made up pasts, they are sure to be willing to use violence as a means. Teach your children to love unconditionally. Not to sleep around, not to do everything that anyone asks, but to be honest, even when it hurts. This is the definition of love. Honesty in the face of adversity. Don't have an affair, get a divorce. Or at least talk to your spouse, that is normally the missing ingredient anyway. If you've read this far, which you have, write back and tell me how full of BS I am. After all, how can I know anything different if you don't tell me honestly how you feel.
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7:57 pm
I have just real;ized that if I am ever to have any visitors here I must increase my likes. Not that there aren't enough things that I like, it is more of a need to pick the most telling ones. At least I feel awash in a sea of other lonely people. Looking around I wonder how anyone can think themselves so different as to be unlovable.
Be real
patient
loving
open
ready
and try to enjoy something positive
like a moment of silence (inside and out)
the touch of nature (hug a tree)
the touch of a loved one (tougher to come by)
and if it isn't, then you better let them know you care
don't tell them
love them
be real
I wish I could follow my own advice. My wish is my command. amen (no men?)
Addiction is a nasty thing to try to get away from. I feel like a carney goosed greenhorn trying to knock all the bottles over at once.
kldljkkljkjkl
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7:07 pm
Some jerk keeps calling me. I mean, I've dialed wrong numbers before, but usually I ask if I dialed such and such a number and apologize and hang up. This guy just asked for my name and where I was. I'm sorry but that is not the kind of information that anyone should proffer on the phone. If you didn't know when you called me, then you certainly don't need to know now.
People in general are very good at pissing me off.
Concentrate on being accepting of other people's ideas and understandings.
And ignorance.
Ignorance is such a nasty work to use in reference to any person. Other-abled is too bland tho. The idea is to realize that no one on earth thinks that what they believe is completely wrong. People may have faith in some crazy sounding ideas, but those ideas would sound much saner behind the mask and walls of decades of the conceits and deceits of life.
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3:58 pm
Have you ever gone somewhere on accident. I went to the union office today, thinking that we had a meeting. Doh! Not till next week. The kicker is, I didn't even feel like going to the meeting and was going to call in. I'm feeling a little tired and run down. My students are writing poetry and talking about how gay it all is.
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Monday, February 19th, 2001
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9:20 pm
Wow, this is kinda cool, I have a little livejournal box to type into. Well, since it is now part of my compuer startup, and my browser start up, I think this is going to be fun and interactive. I had a nice chat with bob about teaching. and a few other things. anyhoo, gotta hit the hay for school in the morning. nite
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5:58 pm
Well, this is my first journal entry into my first, non-physical journal. Hopefully this one lasts a bit longer than all the ones I didn't write before. I like the idea that my ideas may filter out into the new collective unconscious, the www.
I recently applied and gained admission to an online teaching credential course. This is a requirement that I have put off until the last possible moment. I am very pleased to be in school once again. Everything I put off ends up being a lot easier than I would think. Maybe this journal thing will be like that.
Well, this is the begining, of what I don't care.
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