| Communication |
[Jun. 17th, 2003|03:09 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | PLasmatix-electronic input (HBR1.com - Destination: I.D.M.) | ] | Communication is the essence of humanity. We strive on linking our thoughts and emotions to another person through commication. Humanity has two core communication methods, verbal and body language. The verbal aspect is abstracted to include sign language and such.
The core issue here is that neither of these methods are sufficient to properly convey the true behind any single communication!
One being can say to another being "I love you." However there is not a solid definition to what that phrase actually means in that instance. Body language utilized, tone, etc can all change the ultimate meaning of the phrase. This is fine when one is trying to be humorous, satirical, or otherwise non-specific.
It isn't fine when one is trying to convey the emotions that exist behind the phrase "I love you." Verbal communication between two people to fully convey the meaning might take a few hours of explanation to understand 3 specific words. Only to result in much more time spent explaining any mispoken verbage during those "few hours" of communication.
This phenomenon ultimately results in beings existing in a world of mis-communication.
Perhaps the ultimate gift that humans could give back to God and humanity is a method of fool-proof communication. An ability to share ones exact thought/emotion in an insant without any miscommunicatoin.
Hmmm. |
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| Monkeys! |
[May. 19th, 2003|12:06 pm] |
I like monkeys.
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look
a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped
dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.
Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over
my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked
for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell
real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't
want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to
change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer
so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had
to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys
in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The
odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use
the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was
not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about
the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts.
My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them
in the genitals.
I like monkeys. |
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| Money from Monkey's(tm) |
[Apr. 29th, 2003|04:55 am] |
In the latest attempt at acquiring a decent business plan for the future of my being, intelligence derived Money from Monkey's as The Next Whizbang idea for income.
MfM sounds obscure, but it is actually a fairly simple idea.
Steps:
1) Locate Monkeys. These are easily found in research labs throughout the world as well as in the wild.
2) Teach Monkeys the value of a MonkeyDollar. MonkeyDollars are valid MonkeyCurrency throughout the Ape and Ape derived world, including the bipeds known as homosapiens.
3) Encourse Monkeys to invest their MonkeyDollars properly to produce a new influx of MonkeyCash.
4) The key step here is for myself to simply convert the MonkeyDollar into whatever currency it is that I need at the time. Kongbucks, US Dollars, Pesos, etc.
The best I figure, steps 1-3 are fairly easy and can be performed within 1 year. Step 4 is very difficult because at this point I am now relying on the intellect of an average human biped to actually be capable of performing money conversions.
I think I need to give this business plan a little more thought, and my being a little more sleep.
Until next time.... |
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| Writing on Writing |
[Aug. 20th, 2002|01:04 am] |
I just spent a few minutes gazing back through the clouds in which I've lived over the past year. These clouds are embodied in the entries written by these vary hands. From reading the comments both anonymous and not, a smile has creeped onto this face. Thank you for appreciating.
Perhaps soon I'll find the insprirations to write more.
Until then, I'm going to dive off of this cloud and do a backflip... yeah, a blackflip. With some luck, the next cloud will form and float me to my next existance.
Surreal Landscapes of emotion clouding views of perfection.
Dimly lit pathways directing consciousness.
Mustering emotion from the filters that bind.
Random.
Randomness in life seems to be a point. Without randomness, I think we'd all be pretty boring.
Bork! :)
-jbl |
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[Aug. 17th, 2002|02:04 pm] |
o/~ I'm 6 feet from the edge and I'm thinking maybe 6 feet ain't so far down
That summarizes a lot. Not in a death way, I dun think. But somehow it's in my thoughts. Perhaps Boredom describes it all. I'm beginning to feel old. I prefer feeling young. Dunno what to do with my life.
-jbl |
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[Aug. 10th, 2002|11:55 am] |
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Age twenty-six - The age at which time begins to hurt. |
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| The dawning of a new day |
[Jul. 10th, 2002|02:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dub Beautiful Collective - live ambient, downtempo, and IDM | ] | Hello World.
I'm alive.
Sitting in a surreal dreamscape, surrounded by the nothingness of everything, realization of existance grows upon me like the rise of dawn behind the snowpeaked cap sitting on the far horizon.
Slowly opening the eye of temptation, energy surrounds and encompasses. Temptation's door forced shut. A once entrepid being sees fear lingering all about waiting for the opportunity to trounce.
Depleted of astuteness, my being lost in confusion's jungle.
Glimmers of hope are all around.
Looking up at the sky shortly before the setting of the days sun, life abounds. Appearing as though a hurricane in the midst of extreme happiness, the sky opens up it's beauty as a sight for all to behold. Cyclical. Massive. Free.
-jbl |
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| The other side of my known Universe |
[Mar. 11th, 2002|05:58 am] |
It's been quite some time since my last update. In hindsight, I've somewhat felt that I've written all I needed to write here. They say a journal, like an apple, is good medicine. Somehow I tend to agree.
Since my last update, I've been traveling quite a bit due to my employer. It's not all been terribly bad. San Diego is nice.. Austin has 6th street.. Boston has a nice overall atmosphere, and New York.. well New York is just New York. Oh yeah, Chicago was decent also.
All of this traveling has been nothing but hustle and bustle.... all work driven with no true experiences. Perhaps my eyes are closed. No matter what the case is, tonight I find myself in a very out of the way place situated fairly far from what I call "home."
Sydney, Australia. WOW!! What a beautiful country with such amazingly beautiful people!! The ocean, the weather, the sun, the atmosphere, the earth on this side of the world! So Clean!!!!! So Nice!!!!!
I smile as I write this... for once. I'm in a new place. Definately new. Original people...same old me. However, I feel somewhat rejuvinated and refreshed. Perhaps sometimes a vacation is nothing more than distance away from day to day life. I'm not really in a position to pick up the phone and call a friend or family member to say hello. I think that's the refreshing part. A new environment forcing me to come forth with new ideas.
I'm not sure what this all means... but I know that I will be attempting to make the most of my short time here.
Until next time.
-jbl |
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| To life, and getting older. |
[Jan. 14th, 2002|10:15 pm] |
What is it they say about getting older? I'm not really sure, but there must be a saying that describes the feelings one goes through as they realize that they are no longer a kid. Where is she? The elusive one. Playing pool tonight, I glanced around the pool hall and saw many very attractive girls aged 18-21 I figure. A couple of years ago, they were a dream. The beautiful damsel looking for a prince. Now, I look at them and kind of sigh to myself realizing that they aren't what I am looking for anymore.
These days, rather than spending time playing video games and staring at the TV, I spend my time pondering the future. Things like job security, career changes, increasing my education to ensure my marketability in my field of choice. It's kind of bumming.... I sometimes want to be young, naive, and carefree once again. Oh how I wish to roam through fields of green grass, lazily wandering my days through the sun all the while looking forward to nightfall to catch a glimpse of the lightning bugs floating so effortlessly through the warm air.
Oh how I dream to be... to be what I used to be with the knowledge I have with me now. Perhaps I'd be unstoppable in my own little world. But alas, I live in today, not yesterday or tomorrow.
my friends, I love you. to those in my past, i miss you. to those in my future, oh what a day that will be to meet another friendly face.
-jbl |
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| another day |
[Nov. 24th, 2001|09:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] | saturday night now.... watching some tv.... 24... the show is entertaining. Otherwise, I'm not sure why I'm doing what i'm doing. All of my "friends" are busy, out with their other half, or perpetually mad at me. frustrating.
i'm watching my life and it seems to be falling apart piece by piece. perhaps that is how it works... it has to fall apart before it can rebuild itself. i'm trying not to drink right now... just seems to be a wise choice.
where are those friends that said they would be always be there for me when i needed them. |
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| It's been a while. |
[Nov. 23rd, 2001|02:34 am] |
I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I do not have a clue about women. It must be a guy thing. Women seem to understand each other ok. In any case, the last few weeks have been interesting. Work has been stressful due to layoffs and other changes. My social life is now mostly nonexistant because friends and I have just grown apart. I sold my corvette and bought a bmw.. lots of fun to drive, just like how the commecial says "The Ultimate Driving Experience." I've made some mistakes with some people who've popped back up in my life. I'm sorry for these.. but you can't take words or actions back.
I spoke to an old friend the day before thanksgiving just to tell her hi. She seemed shocked and confused at first.. not quite sure if she wanted to talk to me or not. I did the one thing I've always been able to do to her; I made her laugh. We talked a bit... kind of felt like old times. Too bad that friendship isn't anything I can keep around.
Thanksgiving was good. I went to see my mom's family. The turkey and I were both stuffed after all of the food. (Anyone want some chocolate pie?) On my way back, I called a couple of friends to tell them happy thanksgiving. One invited me over for a little party tonight. I decided I don't know a single thing about women.
Until next time.....
-jbl |
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[Oct. 13th, 2001|02:10 am] |
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I'm all alone in this world it seems..... bedtime I guess. |
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| the unknown |
[Oct. 9th, 2001|03:28 am] |
Lately I've been realizing something... it always feels very near, but I never get close enough see what it is. I never feel it, I never smell it, I never understand it. It is lost in fog.. a haze so thick that I'm stuck wondering around aimlessly. Sometimes I think it's love that I'm missing and at other times I think it's me that I'm missing.
I used to call this state depression but I don't anymore. It's something quite different because I'm not unhappy. I'm not quite sad... a smile is trying to form on my face as I write this. It isn't anyone I know. I don't think it's anyone I've met.
Where are you? Why aren't you here with me? Are you as lost in this fog as I am, or do you see clearly leaving me to be the blind one. Perhaps that is the opposite attraction that I'm supposed to find.
Am I going all wrong but content in my wrongness?
I need to find the truth.
-jbl |
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| Perhaps someday.... |
[Aug. 14th, 2001|12:13 am] |
Someday, I'll wake up in the morning to grass green outside. I may be camping in the middle of nowhere sheltering myself from the rain of the night under an overhang.. but when I open my eyes, I will finally see the green grass.
Someday, I'll make my first step of the morning with understanding of life. In that step, I'll see that I see the green grass, and that life has changed for me. That today is the day....
Someday, I'll understand why I'm drawn to those who aren't drawn to me, and shy from those who are.
Someday, I'll just be; happy and carefree.
Someday.
-jbl |
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| Life.... |
[Aug. 10th, 2001|04:16 pm] |
Overall things have been going well lately. I've been able to keep very busy with work, and progress quite a bit in my job lately. I'm finally enjoying things a bit more. Sunday I fly out to California for a week, and towards the end of the month I'm on vacation.... www.burningman.com.
I'm seriously beginning to look forward to burningman.
In other news... my last entry spoke of Jessi who moved off to Florida. Last Monday she called and surprised me... she was back home. Florida just wasn't right for her right now so she came back. She came back having learned quite a bit on her short journey. How she does this, I probably won't understand for a long time.... but she never ceases to stop impressing me. Go you!
Until next time.... |
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| Life, the Universe, and Everything |
[Jul. 25th, 2001|12:55 am] |
It's been quite a while since I last updated.... I guess I've been trying to figure my life out a bit more and just get everything in order. I've realized that friends come and go, no matter how much you care about them.... despite how true that caring or love is. Sometimes, you just have to walk away... let them go.
In the past couple of months, I've walked away from someone who's been a major part of my life for 10 years... I've also walked away from a few others that I've only known for a couple of years. It just seemed to be the thing to do.
During these last couple of months, I've ran across new people, some of which have touched my heart, shared laughs, pointed out things about life.... and now they are doing the walking away.
I guess that's how life works for me right now.. never-ending patterns, circles... just this time the shoe is being worn by someone else.
Jessi... we will miss you here in NC. Good luck in FL, and remember we love you.
-jbl |
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| Me.... |
[Apr. 29th, 2001|11:39 pm] |
My emotions are running strong tonight.. deep if you will... ups and downs are coming fast... I'm just totally confused. I tell myself I'm a happy person.. and I believe it for a couple of weeks... maybe even a month... then I reach this point again. I believe I just need to admit to myself that I'm a depressive person. Looking back at the last few years that I remember best, I've never been truely what I call happy. Mostly depressed... I started trying to work on that believing that I could fix it myself.. but all that buys me is time... time feeling good for a while. When I reach that state, I reach out to others and end up pulling them back down with me.
That's not the kind of person I want to be. In the mornings, I can barely get up... I sleep way too much jeapordizing my career. On the way to work I drink redbull to give me energy to make it through until late afternoon. After that wears off, I quickly want to leave work and get back home.. to my comfortable place of indecisiveness and repressed depression.
The last couple of months, I've spent many evenings with a friend of mine who's very similiar to me.... depressed many times... i think it cheers me up to be around someone like myself... but that builds attachment.. and when it doesn't work out the way i picture it in my mind, I fall.
This cycle repeats itself.. over and over again. How do I break free from the chains that hold me in my prison? What have I done to bring myself to this point? Where is the door out? I'm not physically locked in any place, yet I feel like I'm in a prison.
I have a decent life... a very good job, a nice house, nice furniture, a very nice car that sadly people are envious of. I wish they wouldn't be though... the person behind the wheel doesn't need that envy. The person behind the wheel is fragile.
God, if you are listening, I'm ready for life to change. I'm ready for something new... I'm ready for you to help me. I'm calling out to you. Please do something.
-jbl |
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| hmmm |
[Apr. 27th, 2001|10:12 pm] |
I screwed up tonight and hurt someone that I cared about. When I realized how I had hurt them, it hurt me. I don't want to do that anymore. Emotional ties bind people together and they feel each others pain, sorry, happiness, etc.
Remember that when you have someone you care deeply about. |
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[Apr. 27th, 2001|12:20 am] |
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i juss crazy or something. :) |
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| Wow... |
[Apr. 26th, 2001|09:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Brooks & Dunn - Steers & Stripes - 12 - I Fall | ] | What can I say to explain how I feel right now? Jumpy, jittery, happy, ambitious, crazy, super happy, amazingly touched, scared, anxious, and loved.
I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin....
!@@#$!@# |
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