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Friday, February 14th, 2003
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2:54 pm - Sorry...
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From here on in, my journal will be for people on my friends list only. Sorry to inconvenience anyone.
If you wanna be added... lemme know.
:P
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(54 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 8th, 2003
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4:47 pm - and the thunder rolls...
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Yep... I am writing after a treacherous journey without a computer. my harddrive was fukt, so we had to get it replaced. That truly blows. I am not home now, but the computer comes back tomorrow. YAY!!! I had to sort through 58 e mails today!!! Yippee... yay fun. That took me at least an hour.
On another note, I got a very very disturbing one sent to me by a friend. Well, it was a petition to get a website shut down. The website is:
http://www.bonsaikitten.com
What they do is put these innocent kittens in variously shaped glass vessels with tubes for feeding deficating and urinating, and leave them there for their entire life. The purpose: having a kitten in whichever shape you would like. Hence the name... bonsai kittens. Anyone who reads this should check out the site and bitch&rant; in the guestbook. I said my piece in the petition, because this is seriously sick. I actually got teary eyed reading and looking around the site. This is actually a 'fad' now. I love animals and hate the cruelty they suffer. Look...go now...you will see.
Fucking people.
current mood:  pissed off
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 31st, 2003
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12:51 am
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I am bored.
My life blows.
I want to go home so badly. I miss the boi, and the kittyten, and my kids (animals), and everything about home. I really wanna be there.
For those who don't know, I had to leave my apartment because of a salmonella (or however you spell it) concern. The concern is that of the public health nurse that I have requested to make regular home visits. Here it is :
-I have a 3 1/2 month old son named Gabriel.
-Salmonella is deadly to infants under 5.
-We have an indonesian water monitor in the front storage closet.
-The closet is filled with branches, plants and soil.
-He shits in the soil(obviously), and it also contains dead skin scales (both which contain salmonella)
-The soil in the closet gets under the door, and into the hall.
-We walk in the hall in bare feel/sox/shoes/whatever.
-We walk all through the apartment, and put our feet on the couch/floor/bed.
(get the picture???)
I am not supposed to go back until there is a seal around the door and a water source inside the closet so he doesn't bathe in our tub. The major problem is how we can afford to do this. We are beyond low on funds. I mean, or fucking phone is gone for fuk sakes. All I wanna do is go home... but I can't.
The boi came over yesterday and he is not pleased. He is so incredibly miserable without the little guy and I living there. Even temporary, he says it is tearing him apart inside. I could sense that. I feel the same way.
We haven't been apart this long for a very long time. I hate this. Being lonely and bored every night. Being kept here no matter what I feel. I feel like shit.
It's not that I don't love coming here, cause I do.
I just wanna be home with my family.
I miss my boi.
Dammit.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Concrete Blonde - Joey
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| Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
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6:25 pm
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So, we did another photoshoot. Attempt two... and another failure. What a piss of!!!
Well, our first mistake was doing it while it was snowing. The first few looked really good, cause the snow just gave it a wiked ass effect. It was cool until the snow got even heavier and ruined half our pictures.
There were snowflakes everywhere!!!
Some in the eye, some in the cheek, some completely covering faces. It didn't help that the flash had to be on, cause they just caught light and looked even bigger. I even tried to mend them in photoshop... but it was not a success.
Ah well, we have yet another planned. This time with two more people, and way more cameras. I figure, the more pictures we take, the more chance for more turnouts!!!
I dunno!!!
I'm done!!!
current mood: disappointed
current music: VNV Nation ~ solitary
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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6:20 pm - sadness??? HUH???
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| Saturday, January 25th, 2003
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3:48 am - I am so bored...B-O-R-D!!!
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Ya, so it's now 3:39am and I sit here in front of my computer awake as ever.
That really sux cause I know I have to be up at the crack of dawn.
I guess I am kinda getting used to the early mornings and late nights.
My phone is cut off now!!! Oh Joy!!!
...and so it begins.
My life is so grand.
The caiman made a huge mess of his food today...bad boy!!!
We will have to clean that out tomorrow (well, the boi will).
There aren't many things more desgusting than random bits of floating fish guts.
At least he eats them head first (one less desgusting thing to look at).
My cat is on crack. No, seriously.
Her favourite passtimes include attacking nothing in mid air and making this odd non-catlike sound.
She's so funny.
She makes me smile.
Nia the crazy bitch.
On top of the craziness, she's in heat.
Crazy and annoying. Houray!!! Gotta Luv her.
We have to do something about the space issue in our apartment.
We have far too many animals.
We have a cat, an indonesian water monitor, a nile monitor, two iguanas, a gold skink, a caiman, a turtle, a brazilian rainbow boa, a columbian rainbow boa, three rats, two degus, a bunch of beautiful fish, and a chinchilla. I hope I am not forgetting anything.
We have a green anaconda coming as soon as it is safe for it to travel.
(it is very very cold right now).
We had another one but it died... fault of the store at which it was purchased.
If you don't know what you're doing, you shouldn't sell em. Dumbasses.
I just want 2 black and while tegus (they eat mashataters...weird...hehe), a couple of tarantulas(rosies), and a couple of emperor scorpions. We'll see.
Imma gonna go smoke now.
I fear that the nocturnal rabbidness has bitten me in the ass.
I will spare you the insanity.
You'll thank me later.
current mood:  crazy
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
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1:04 am - ???
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The time is not 1:04am, the time it 4:04am!!!
Gotta figure out how to change that.
Times in my journal are all wrong, abd I am just noticing now.
I dunno, call me observant!!!
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12:57 am
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12:53 am - Jimbo and the eclipsing fart cloud...
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This post may not post at all, for my computer is royally fukt. I think my bois retard friend did something to it. I dunno. Let's just say he is notorious for his stupidity.
Ya, so for some reason I can't send text in my e mails. I can only forward stuff. I have no clue if this will work, but if you are reading it then I suppose it did. It is saying there is some sort of internet explorer error (?huh?), then it shuts down explorer.
Who knows??? Especially not me(the computer illiterate one).
Well, I got hammered for the first time in a whole YEAR last weekend.
It was the boi's b-day.
His friend isn't the most loyal Wine Rack employee.
I felt all tingly and silly.
Tolerances definitely change with time.
I wore my jammies all night.
Polluted + comfy = happy drunk pj girl. YAY!!!
All around, a good night was had by all.
Especially me!!!
Now I'm all sleepy!!!
PS~ That subject line makes me giggle like a school girl on crack!!!
current mood:  amused
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
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11:54 pm - my life at 3am...
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A friend and I were discussing body mod throughout the years, and how it has changed.
Tattoos were the 'rebellious' thing to do back in the day, and those people were generally looked at as 'freaks'. Nowadays people with piercings or many tattoos are looked at as freaks, and people with few tattoos are looked upon as normal.
(then again, define normal?!?)
The way we see it, the next generation will see many tattoos and piercings as normal... and see implants, splicing, and reshaping as something only 'freaks' do. I dunno. I just thought I would write about our little conversation. Body mod over the generations.
(then again, new methods will indeed arise!!!)
On an off note, I got some pictures back from a photoshoot a friend and I did. Half of my roll didn't turn out. That fucking blows. I was caught giggling in some. I just looked like ass in others. Many turned out really fucking good. We're already planning our next one.
I definitely want to do another one when I lose the weight I gained while pregnant with my son Gabriel. Let me tell ya, giving birth you lose 20 pounds in a few hours... 'the wonder weight loss program'!!! He's sleeping right now all cosylike. He's so tiny. I want him to stay this tiny forever. A little me... that scares me. I hope he won't put me through the hell I put my parents through. Having my own made me realize what hell I must have put them through.
Man was I ever a shit disturber. It was fun though!!!
Gawd... I am talking like I am old or something. Never will I give in to time. I will still be 20 when I am 60. I will inhereit that trait from my dad. I want to be a toys'r'us kid.
Cigarette calls... must obey.
current mood:  silly
current music: clinkety clank clank
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7:51 pm - what swearword are you???
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4:28 pm - long winter days...
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So... it's snowing again. Gawd I HATE snow. It's nice to look at, but other than that it blows.
I am at my parents house right now. That is just how bored I truly get.
Little guy is grumpy.
I need a smoke.
I am nearly starved to death.
Ya know... same old.
My apartment is a fucking disaster zone. It seems the 3rd world war is being fought there at this moment. I should probably clean it when I get home. I only do it maybe once a week. I am no Martha Stewart, that's for sure.
I can't wait till I get a shitload of spare money so I can go on a shopping spree. I need some new hooker boots and I want a new pair of combats. One thing I really need is a few pairs of pants. The boi bought me 2 new bondage skirts for xmas, and I bought a bunch of cute tops and a new 'fail the bum test' dress. Well... it's not supposed to be a dress, "it's a camisole"...sure...I see it as a dress.
I am looking for a new book to read aswell. If anyone who reads this knows of a good non-anne rice book let me know. I like acid trip books, or ones with twisted storylines. Nothing 'dragonlance' or 'lord of the rings'. Something different. I dunno. I'll shut up now.
Done.
current mood:  anxious
current music: Wumpscut - Soylent Green
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
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12:04 pm - my turtle is soooooo cute...
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I watched a weird movie two nights ago. It was a disturbing version of snow white. I think it was called either Snow White : A Tale of Terror, or Snow White : A Morbid Tale. It stars Sigourney Weaver, and it is seriously disturbing. I hadn't even heard of it until James brought it home. That was one fucked up film.
On an off note...I am still bored. I am baking cupcakes like Betty fucking Crocker. MMMmmmmmmmmmm... but they're devil's food with creamy vanilla icing *drool*!!! It a sad day when baking is actually exciting.
I am probably going to dye my hair tonight. I have some 'midnight blue' in my bathroom waiting for me. My hair was a kick ass purple colour, but quickly faded to red... and now red with orange roots. No good.
I gotta eat cake now!!!
I'm such a dork!!!
current mood:  dorky
current music: None but the humming of the puter.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 12th, 2003
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2:46 am - And now...
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Haven't written in this thing in a long while. Been busy, and no one ever reads these things anyway.
Man was I ever fucked over that situation. I am now engaged to my boi, and live with him happily.
Right now I am bored off my ass and want a 40oz of booze in my tummy NOW!!!
Holy shit, this thing seems so weird to me now.
I need a smoke.
Fuck I'm bored
current mood: bored
current music: Assemblage 23- Disappoint (FunkerVogt rmx)
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2:46 am - so...
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| Friday, April 13th, 2001
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1:39 am - london bridges...
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I have not written for awhile. I was too busy building empires. Everything I have struggled to build is now crashing down rapidly. Everything I thought I had forever may be lost. When I thought I had everything I have ever wanted, reality comes crashing through to tell me that I lost this game...this game we call life. I knew it was all too good to be true. When you have it all, don't take it for granted cause in the quickest flash you are at rock bottom again.
I don't know how many more times I can climb so high just to fall so far. All I sacrifice is worthless. I am once again lost in what once was and never again will be. You try so hard to regain, but in the end you only lose twice as much.
current mood: depressed
current music: silke bischoff-under your skin
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, March 23rd, 2001
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5:45 pm - lady luck definitely wants down my pants...
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Guess what, guess what???
I got $116 for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING today. My old work decided to put "bonus" money into an account for this race we had with another store. I haven't even been working there for a few months now. Ah well...their loss and my gain!!! If they ever even realize that they fucked up then the money will have been spent. I'mma goin to tha bar baby!!! Gonna get trashed courtesy of my old work, and well...they can go fuck themselves!!!
I must have a horseshoe up my ass or something cause my luck really couldn't get any better these last few days!!! Hey...I'm soooooooooooo not complaining. WoOoOoOo HoOoOoOoO!!!
current mood: LuCky LUckY lUcKy!!!
current music: kai tracid-tiefenrausch
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, March 22nd, 2001
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4:37 pm - HIP HIP HOURAY...
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I am listening to a song called "fear" off of the new pitchfork album, and it fucking rocks. This will be the song that I play for the next month straight until I get completely sick of it and never want to hear it again. I often do this, but ah well.
I just found out that the thing that makes me the most happy might be back in my life. I have been waiting for the time to be right, and it looks like that time is approaching fast. You should see the smile on this gal's face right now. It's a big one, so take my word for it. I can't wait until a few months from now to see where I am. I will have everything I want and need, and as long as I don't lose my boi, I will be soooooooooo happy.
So...yeah...I guess that is all the ranting I have for today. Some more useless babble. At least I am in a good mood today. Actually, let me re-phrase that...I am in a KICK ASS MOOD!!! Hopefully everything runs smoothly and it will remain this way forever. I just want to pause my life so nothing can turn bad, because it is inevitable that it will eventually.
Let's not think about that for now.
:P
current mood: Woo Hoo!!!
current music: project pitchfork-fear
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| Sunday, March 18th, 2001
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3:22 pm - sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, everything, that's wonderful is what I feel when were together...
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So...I am sure the photoshoot turned out O.K.!!! Actually, I'm sure the pics will kick ass. We were freezing our asses off though...try being outside in freezing weather (friday) half naked. Not all too fun, believe me!!! I really can't wait for the pictures. I had beautiful models in beautiful clothes, so I am happy!!!
Later that night we went to the bar and got sloshed. Once again we were the life of the party!!! I got asked by some 41 year old woman if I would sleep with her and her husband (ewe)!!! Yes...i declined. She has been stalking me through the dj asking when i am coming next. He is actually getting pissed off cause he hates her fucking guts. I also met some schizofrenic chick who said her daughter died that day, then an hour later said that her father died that day and left her 140 grand. Yep...I am sure he did you crazy bitch!!! Well, what else could you expect from a person who just got discharged from tower 10 about a month ago. Hey, she was buying us drinks so I just smiled at her and avoided her unless she was handing me a nice cold one.
After that we went to the unit, where some interesting events occurred. Let's just say the a bunch of us ended up playing kiddie games (ie.-spin the bottle, suck or blow, truth or dare). Yep...things did get the slightest bit strange, but only as strange as I permitted of course. Uh...I guess that is all.
current mood:  thirsty
current music: pachabel-cannon in D
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| Thursday, March 15th, 2001
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4:01 pm - It's fucking freezing in here...
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I just came into the computer room, and FUCK is it ever cold in here. I feel like turing in the elements on the stove and just hovering. yep...sounds good!!!
Went out with "the crew" (or most of) to sing karaoke last night!!! The shitty thing was, first...it was a wednesday, second...I was low on cash, and third...the karaoke guy was sick so there was NO FUCKING KARAOKE!!! We used this all to our advantage though!!! We made him clear the whole dancefloor, turn on the lights on the dancefloor, and play whatever we wanted to hear. Fortunately we had brought cd's cause otherwise it was shaggy and puff daddy all night (yee hah)!!! We danced lots, and drank lots!!!
There were some guys there that kept on taking turns coming over to our table with a tray of shots!!! Yep...got hammered with but $20 to my name. Not to mention I didn't even spend all my money on myself!!! Bartender was giving us beers dirt cheap too (he luuuuuuuvs us)!!!
We're going on friday again most likely!!!! Don't know if I'm going yet, but I will try since I have said I would!!! Yet another night of "stinky hoe's" as Luke so puts it!!!
I gotta get my models together for tomorrow cause I'm doing my photoshoot!!! I'll probably do it with flash at night in the Guild Inn. That place is beautiful for photography!!! Full of pillars and statues with the bluffs in the background. There are always wedding photo's being taken there. Ah well...my photoshoot will be a little different than what they are used to. Girls dressed all "fetishlike" and probably half naked in most of em!!!
Can't wait to get 'em done and developed. Blackmail material for when my friends are bad!!! I wonder what mommy would think...hmmmmmmmmm???
current mood:  cold
current music: snog-island
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sleepy
accomplished
