Marcus: Rachel, you're getting so fat
Rachel: I've got a baby in my belly
Marcus: Yeah, and you're gonna be fat forever!
Rachel: I will not!
Marcus: You won't be able to fit through the door!

YAY! I'm so happy. Here's why.

We've finally found our "circle". You know, those few friends who ALL get along, and always chill and have tons of fun together? Well our circle was almost broken cause my friend Crystal was going to move down south with some dude she doesn't even love. She was torn, completely.

Well, 4 hours before she was going to leave (seriously, she had all her stuff packed in the truck, she quit her job, she told her landlord she was leaving, the real deal) Dave and a few of our other friends were able to talk her into following her heart and she decided to stay!!! WHOO HOO! I am so happy. It's not every day that I get along with another female, and I've been without friends (GOOD friends) for a long time. So she gets to keep the apartment, she's looking for a better, closer job, and everything is working out for the better!

Today I'll write about things no one really cares about.

The other day my purse broke. Yes it broke. I stuffed it so full of junk (like I've done with every other purse I've owned) and the strap just snapped. Go figure. So now I'm carrying around my orgnaizer, my wallet, and all my little goodies (lipstick, tums, change) in a plastic trash bag.
I'm so stylin.
So now my broke ass has to buy a purse. Well, I've looked high and low and it seems that chicks are downsizing these days. The purses look like wallets, and I'd be lucky if I could squeeze a pack of gum in there along with the whole 25 cents I have to my name...
Then they have these cheesy designs on them that I'd have to buy one particular outfit just to wear the purse anywhere. New shoes and everything. That's bullshit.
I don't want a purse with the friggin Eiffel Tower on it. I don't live in Paris. I'm not french (well, maybe a little but it's not something I like to discuss). I'm not chic. I'm a chick, but I'm not chic. I want a freaking pocketbook that I can wear with my jeans and a t-shirt (if I can ever fit into jeans again) and not have to worry if the purse is "too much".

Also, what's with these $80 wallets? Hello, I'd like a wallet so I have something to put my money in. Not so I can carry it around empty because I spent $80 on a friggin wallet. The world makes no sense.

*sigh*

Only 95 (estimated) days to go.

I can't believe my mother was on bedrest for 80 days while she was carrying me. I would have gone out of my mind. Cable doesn't have enough channels for me to watch for 80 days. Hershey's doesn't make enough chocolate to soothe me for 80 days.
David doesn't have to patience to put up with me for 80 bedridden days.
It's a good thing my doctor doesn't have me on bedrest. I don't know how my mother did it, but I have that much more respect for her, for doing so.
Pregnancy seems like the longest 9 months of your life. At least I get to go to work every day, and hang out with my friends. It makes it a bit more bearable.
But still, all the activities in the world couldn't make time go any faster.

Imagine that feeling you have when you're 6 years old and it's the night before Christmas. You know, visions of sugarplums, yada yada yada...
Then multiply that feeling times, oh...40 weeks...
Yah.

and you wonder why I can't sleep.

I had another ultrasound today. It always makes me giddy to see Sam swimming around inside of me. It was really neat, because this time I could feel the kicks while I was watching them on the screen. The last ultrasound I had (that I was able to watch) he was just a little flutter in my belly. Now he's keeping me up at night with all his kicks and headbutts ;)

I got more pictures of him sucking his thumb. Every time he settles down his thumb goes straight for his mouth, and you can see the little lips making a sucking motion. It was so friggin adorable!

The technician who does my bi weekly ultrasounds remarked on how fast he's been growing. She froze the screen and showed me a shot of his leg (lower leg) and she said at first she didn't know what it was because it was so big! Then she said, "looks like you're giving birth to a football player!"
I was estatic!
I know this sounds silly (considering I have to push this little guy out of an orfice that just doesn't seem big enough to even pass an orange through, but if you all say it fits, I'll take your word for it) but I have been praying for a big healthy baby. I'm 6' tall, and I've always considered myself as a pretty tough chick, and David is also tall and VERY built (good genetics on both sides) so I kinda expect him to be big.
Whatever he ends up like, I will love him regardless. Tall, short, fat, skinny, he'll always be mine, and that's good enough for me ;)

I just can't wait to hold him. I anticipate this every day, all day. I hope he'll never even have to question if I wanted him or not. Sam, I can't wait for you! You are already loved, and you're not even here yet!

After I got home from a very looooong and uncomfortable day at work (back pains, nausea, dry heaves so bad I got cramps and tiny red bumps everywhere) and so I decided to lay down. Fast forward about an hour or two. Dave came home and threw a $20 bill on me and said, "This is for you and Sam, go get something to eat"

Just being reminded that I have a rambunxious little baby boy floating around inside me made the whole day better. To hear his name (Samuel David) gives me chills all up and down my spine. So that was something to make me smile.

So I decided, "Hey! I have dirty laundry and $20 so I'll go get some dinner and wash my nasty clothes"
I stopped at Arby's, my pregnant appewtite ROARING for LOTS OF MEAT AND CURLY FRIES!
Well, apparently my eyes are WAYYY bigger than my stomach because I've been eating this Big Montana for 45 mintues and there's still half of it left, and I haven't even touched my fries.

Apparently Montana is huge, and my stomach isn't. It's almost gross how much beef is overflowing from the bun...

But that's alright, I'm sure I'll be hungry again in an hour...

anyhow...I'm sitting here grinning ear to ear.
want to know why?

I just got back from the hospital. I had my ultrasound. The nurses couldn't get good readings half the time, because the baby was moving around so much. They were amazed at how active he is.

Oops. Did I say "he"? Must be because I'M HAVING A BABY BOY!!!!!!!
Yes, I saw with my own two eyes. Two little legs and a teeny weenie in the middle.
I couldn't be happier! David doesn't know yet, but when I tell him he's going to cry. He's wanted a boy SOOOO badly.

I'm gonna go share the news with everyone else now, I just thought I'd tell you all the AWESOME news ;)

Peace~

I was talking to my 4 year old nephew about baby names for our baby. He had some very interesting suggestions I thought I should share.


Rachel: What should I name my baby
Marcus: Ummm...MARCUS!
Rachel: nope...that won't work...any other ideas?
Marcus: Name your baby POP POP!
Rachel: Uh...no
Marcus: What about FISHIES?
Rachel: Is that a name?
Marcus: Um... how about TOSSTHEPICKELS!
Rachel: I don't think so...
Marcus: Maybe PASSTHEPICKLES?
Rachel: No pickles please...
Marcus: Maybe STOMIENOMIENOMA ONE FOUR SEVEN THREE NINE!
Rachel: I give up...

Now I know why I wasn't allowed to pick out a name for my cat when I was a little girl.

laundry day.
*sigh*
so much fun.
I can't wait to get a washer and dryer.
I feel bad having to come to mom and dad's to do laundry.
especially the way Dave goes through clothes. I wash two HUGE bags of laundry, twice a week, and about a quarter of everything I wash is mine.
At least I don't have to do Shawn and Danny's laundry. Although I have to clean up their messes (ugh, and their hair out of the shower)

Anyway, in other news...I got my crib today!!!
Well, actually, it's not MY crib. It's my baby's crib, but still..same difference. I can't wait to get home and put everything together.
Speaking of which, I better stop pushing my luck and get going before it starts to rain, and my crib gets soaked in the back of our truck.

peace all.

FIRST
First best friend: Kristy Miller
First car: 1977 AMC Pacer!!!
First real kiss: Chris
First break-up: First REAL breakup (we're talking first real relationship that I ended) would be Josh. I dumped him for Dave, and now a year and a half later I'm having Dave's baby. Go figure.
First screen name: guitar gurl
First self purchased album: Deftones
First funeral: never attended one. I did the flowers for a friend of mine's brother's funeral, but I didn't know him or her at the time.
First pet: Becky, my cat that my dad ran over and lied to me about until I was 17
First piercing/tattoo: ears when I was 3. tattoo when I turned 18.
First credit card: only debit cards for me. credit cards ruin lives.
First true love: David
First enemy: a girl I went to school with. No names.
First big trip: Florida when I was 10
First music you remember hearing in your house: Mom listened to Christian. Dad listened to Oldies. My brothers listened to Heavy Metal. I'm more influenced my the Metal.......

LASTS
Last cigarette: I haven't had a single cigarette in a week.
Last car ride: The ride here (to Mom and Dad's)
Last kiss: Today, before I left for work. I always get a kiss before work.
Last good cry: .......no comment.......
Last library book checked out: when I was 8. I still have the book.
Last food consumed: bagel and cheddar cheese
Last beverage drank: ice water
Last time showered: this morning before work
Last phone call: the modeling agency FINALLY called, and I had to tell them that I'm pregnant, and I can't model at this time.
Last shoes worn: flip flops
Last item bought: a two piece (yes, I'm daring to bare my big old belly) and overalls.
Last annoyance: having to drive 10 miles to my mom's to do laundry for 5 hours AFTER I've been at work all day...and I still have to stop at Wal Mart to pick up chlorine for the pool...
Last time wanting to die: several times in the last 5 months, but then I think about my baby and life isn't so bad.
Last time scolded: Dave scolded me for letting all the cool air out of our room earlier.

INFORMATION:
Name: Rachel Nichole

RELATIONSHIPS:
Who are your best friends?: David, Danny, Jean, Nicole
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: David

FASHION STUFF:
Where is your favorite place to shop?: Gap and Goodwill
Any tattoos or piercings?: tattoo on my sholder (getting more after baby is born) 2 holes in each ear, my nose, and I'm redoing my belly ring once again...when baby is born.


SPECIFICS:
Do you do drugs?: not anymore.
What kind of shampoo do you use?: I never use the same kind.
What are you most scared of?: not being able to provide the kind of life my child deserves.
What are you listening to right now?: Pink Floyd
Who is the last person that called you?: Barbizon Modeling Agency
Where do you want to get married?: At our home. We've got 5 acres and whatever our neighbor's yard is (we've got kickass neighbors, they let us use their yard for anything)
How many buddies are online right now?: I have no buddies
What would you change about yourself?: nothing I can't change anyway. I'd lik

FAVORITES:
Color: purple
Food: mmmm...food....
Boys' names: Samuel David
Girls' names: Elizabeth Rose
Subjects in school: music
Animals: I love all sorts of animals
Sports: fencing...WITH REAL SWORDS! Kickass.
Perfume: Haiku
Cologne: Axe (mmmm...sexy)

HAVE YOU EVER...
Given anyone a bath?: My neice and nephews.
Smoked?: yes
Bungee jumped?: nope.
Made yourself throw up?: when I was drunk and wanted to drink more.
Skinny dipped?: no, but I might tonight...
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes
Been in love?: yes
Pictured your crush naked?: sheah....
Actually seen your crush naked?: every day.
Cried when someone died?: yes
Lied: yes
Fallen for your best friend?: yes. David and I PURPOSELY were "just friends" for a while, so we could really get to know each other before commiting our lives to each other.
Been rejected?: yeah, but it doesn't matter now.
Rejected someone?: yeah, but I dont take pride in that
Used someone?: yes
Done something you regret?: yes

CURRENT:
Clothes: overalls and a black camisole.
Music: alice in chains
Make-up: a little blush and mascara
Annoyance: pain in my upper back
Smell: the bagel I just ate
Favorite artist: layne staley
Favorite group: alice in chains
Desktop picture: I dunno...probably something my brother put on here
Dvd in player: no clue
Color of toenails: metallic pink

LAST PERSON:
You touched: my nephew Marcus
Hugged: my dad, 15 minutes ago before he went to bed
You imed: it's been years
You kissed: David

ARE YOU:
Understanding: no. I'm selfish and I only think about myself...
Open-minded: kind of. It depends on whether or not I feel like giving a person place or thing the time of day.
Arrogant: not as arrogant as my cocky know it all boyfriend
Insecure: very. especially now that I'm fat and I can run without my whole body jiggling.
Interesting: I guess it depends on what you're interested in.
Hungry: always. Anybody have any pickles.
Smart: hardly
Moody: all the time
Hardworking: yes
Organized: somewhat
Healthy: now more that I'm pregnant
Shy: depends on who I'm with
Attractive: yes
Bored easily: yes
Responsible: somewhat
Obsessed: yes. I'm a very obsessive person.
Angry: sometimes
Sad: sometimes
Dissappointed: sometimes
Happy: sometimes
Hyper: not since I'm pregnant, no.
Trusting: yes.
Talkative: no.


WHO DO YOU WANNA...
Kill: um...bad guys.
Slap: a chosen few.
Get high with: David.
Look like: Your Mom.

So I'm sitting here, waiting for my laundry to dry.
Incredibly bored, incredibly tired. Ready to go home and be with my David. I hardly saw him all day. I hardly ever see him.
Yet we LIVE together. Same room and all.
Hmmm. Odd.
I see him before bed, and when I wake up. Throughout the day I kinda share him with everyone else but we're hardly ever alone anymore. I miss my David time.
I'm sure all our friends will abandon us though, as soon as Jr. or Jr. Miss is born.

*itch*...AGGHHH I hate maternity bras.

So I've been trying to get Medicaid (insurance for us po' mommas) for MONTHS and finally I have my first Doctor's appointment tomorrow! FINALLY. I'm freaking, 5 months pregnant. Hopefully I don't fall apart from my lack of medical help. It's just really difficult to get help from the state when every place you call for help directs your call to some other place, and eventually you end up exactly where you started. I swear, NOBODY wanted to help me.

I'm very excited though. Finally, a medical expert is going to examine me and make sure that I'm all ready to push out this big ol thing.

Funny, speaking of big, the woman who gives me my ultasounds (who isn't a DOCTOR, she's a nurse and she gives ultrasounds for CREDIT so she's not exactly a professional but she's seen a lot of pregnant women, and their babies) well, she kept saying how huge this baby is going to be (considering how much it's grow in the past 2 months that she's been seeing me)
So that's gonna be fun. Yeah...I'm definately getting drugs...

Hmmm...interesting things to write about...lemme think for a minute...

Well, we got another roomate (temporarily), Shawn. He's cool though, so it's not a problem. So now I'm living in a house with three men. Considering that I was raised with 4 older brothers, and my dad, (mom was the only female influence I had, which is probably why I'm not entirely girly) I feel right at home.

Dave went out a got me a kitten (who also happens to be male...but he doesn't scratch himself and grunt or anything) his name is Leo. He likes to bite my nose.
David must have taught him that one...
It's nice to have a kitty around when the guys aren't home. Keeps me company.
I'm pathetic. My only friend is a cat. Oh well, I better get used to not having friends. Nobody wants to hang out with a mom.
*sniff*

Anyway. Life is good. My job is going well. Ever since our Pete left, it's been so much better. Even though one of our other managers is on the path to asshole-dom just like Pete. I'll be long gone before they become a full fledged ass.

Mommy and Daddy just pulled in, so I'm gonna go visit. I never get to see my mommy anymore. :(

so life is becoming kind of normal again. I'm actually having a hard time remembering what it feels like to NOT be pregnant. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. My whole body is changing completely and I'm almost used to the discomfort of carrying a child.

I could do this again...In another ten years maybe...

I'm so excited, I know it's all I talk about, but it's all I think about. I can feel it moving around inside of me, and if I press on my abdomen I can feel it's little head. It's there with me morning noon and night. When I go to work, yup, still there. Right in between my bladder and my stomach. What a pleasant spot to place a bustling little baby.

riiiight.

Seriously though, I am so happy and anxious. I think David is even more anxious than I am. We both just want to be able to hold our little baby, and look into it's eyes. We want to know what it is, and what it looks like. If it's healthy, and whose nose it has (better Dave's than mine)...Samuel or Elizabeth...whatever it is, it IS loved.

I'm 20 weeks along now.
David got his settlement.
The house is almost finished.
and I'm doing laundry.

How are you?

click here to see the ultrasound of my baby!!!

Now that I know how to work my mom's scanner, I'll be adding new pictures every couple of weeks. I'll be having ultrasounds taken every two weeks to see how my baby grows :) Maybe this monday I'll be able to find out if there is or isn't a little weener attached to my baby!!!!!

AHHH! I'm so excited, I could cry. In fact, excuse me, I'm going to do just that...

Our house is almost done. I still have the nursery to do, and the guys are going to fix up Yvonne's room. Then our landlord is going to fix the kitchen for us, and viola! We'll have a complete house. No more construction zone! No more drywall dust, and tools lying everywhere!!!!!!!!

We finally moved out of the living room, and into the bedroom! That was great, now our living room looks naked, but it's better than having guests over, and one of them pulling a bra out of the couch. All of our personal things are in our own personal space, and if someone finds a bra or some panties, then they'll just have to deal because it's MY space. well...mine and David's...

Our water is on. It's so great to be able to take a shower before work without having to drive to David's mother's house...I can walk ten feet to our bathroom.

Not having television got to us, so we got rabbit ears. Now we have TWO WHOLE CHANNELS.
We WILL be getting cable...Oh you bet your ASS we'll be getting cable.
But first we need a phone.

Not much else to say. Well, TONS to say, but not enough patience I guess. I will say that my dreams are finally coming true. It involves a lot of time and hard work, but it's worth it. I wish I had a better income so we could get this done quicker (a lot of the expenses are coming out of my own pocket) hopefully David's settlement will come soon so I can drop a couple of hours off of my workdays and spend more time working on MY duties at the house. Gardens, cleaning, stuff like that. Better to get caught up before the baby comes, cause I won't have all the time in the world...

*sigh* I still can't wait.

today I had an ultrasound! I got to see my little baby moving around, kicking me and everything. We couldn't get a clear view of the genatalia, but I could have SWORN that I saw a little peener poking out. We'll find out in a few more weeks.

I got some pictures to take home. They're barely clear enough to pick out anything but a head and spine, but I'll still end up framing them and hanging them all over the house.

Everything checked out okay, THANK GOD there's only one baby in there, and the baby looks healthy. I'm 14 weeks along so far (so I WAS right), so I still have another 6 months left of this *sigh*
It's only just begun.

So now the second trimester begins. Hopefully there will be less vomitting than the first.

I'm going to go eat dinner now, and then go home and SLEEP (for the next 2 weeks if I could)

Since choosing a name for my baby is extremely hard (I don't want my child hating me for life because I named them something stupid) my Mom gave me a baby name book from like, 1980, but all the names are so old and used.
So I decided to start my search online.

In the midst of my search, I've found a lot of names that I like (of course David and I never agree on any of them) and I also found some other interesting little tidbits.
Like this one.

Enjoy.

Okay, so last time I posted I was a little pissed.
I'm calm now. I went to work the next day, regardless of the fact that I only had two hours of sleep. I made up my lack of sleep this morning. I slept until 11am.
Pretty damn late for me. Most weekends I TRY to sleep until then, but I make it to about 8:30 and feel like I'm being lazy.

David has Yvonne this weekend! Suprising, considering tomorrow is Easter, and her mom is letting us have her all day long.
I'm going to pick up some candy, and make baskets for the 4 of us. David, Yvonne, Danny, and Myself. I can't leave Danny out, although knowing him, his mommy probably has a basket waiting for him.

Must be nice to still get spoiled when you're 32 years old. His mom still does his laundry.
Laundry. Yay. Another reason I grace this house with my presence.
:)

I have to work tomorrow, which sucks cause I wanted to do the whole Easter thing with my family, but I guess that worked out, cause David has Yvonne anyhow, and she'll inevitably want to spend Easter with his family. Not mine. *sniff*
In time, in time.

So I guess I'm having dinner at his sister, Sharon's. Hopefully they eat after 4. Cause I'll be at work...serving nobody. Who eats fast food on Easter? Geez, if you don't have a family, just come to my house. I'll cook you some hot dogs at least. I'd offer you more, but my fridge is barron.

Well, it's that time again. Time to finish my laundry, and raid my parents fridge.
I love ya'll, and have a happy Easter, or just a happy weekend if you don't respect the whole "son of God" thing ;) Peace.

I SWEAR I'M GOING TO FLIP THE FUCK OUT.

Still no sign of my brother, typical move on his part. I'm not letting him get off with giving me $10 either.
I'm gonna end up having to call off work because it's almost 3am now, and I have to be up at 7am.

THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! My brother is the most irresponsable parent I've ever met, and this is by far the last time I ever help him with anything.

Now I'll probably lose my fucking job, because I was sick on Saturday, and I called off Yesterday because of the death in the family. I should have just taken my 3 days, but I couldn't afford it.

I hope I don't get fired.