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Tribal Tech - Ivy Towers |
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After working at Livebridge for what is now a month, I've learned a few things about telemarketing and telemarketers, and how people handle them. I've compiled a list of various thoughts.
Before I start, however, this list is greatly influenced by the fact that we're calling people with bad credit in the States. That's two strikes. If you take into account the fact that a lot of these people are from the south, and that most people aren't that smart anyway, you notice that the odds of shoe tying are low enough, much less intelligent conversation. So, bearing that in mind, let us proceed.
1) This affects 90 percent of all people called, I think. You are not clever when you say "not interested" over and over. A noticeable amount of people even say it before I say what the call is about. Somehow, when the words, "Hi, I'm Jesse Dybka and I'm calling from LiveBridge on behalf of Capital One," come out of my mouth, people INSTANTLY know what I'm calling about. Normally, you would be able to tell if it's a telemarketing call, when it's from a company that only sells things. Capital One is a credit card company! WE MAKE CALLS FOR OTHER REASONS TOO. When these people knee-jerk, "not interested" me, I really want to tell them that we're repossessing their shit. Just to screw with them a little. If they don't know why I'm calling, then they're just ignorant for hanging up! Also on the note of "not interested"s, here's point two.
2) When you say "not interested" don't get angry at me for trying to ask what it is you aren't interested about. IT'S MY JOB. If you go to a Burger King and the guy asks what your order is, and you say, "I'm not sure," you don't get angry at him when he tries to figure out. I realize the situations aren't really the same, but by being specific, you make things easier for both you and I, for the reason that will now be discussed. Most places have this funny thing called company policy. Capital One doesn't comission Livebridge to throw wet rags on the phones. We pursue the call until we are sure the customer does not want it, or the statutes on harrassment apply. In the US, providing it isn't a non-rebuttal state, telemarketers can accept one hard no ("NO.") and two soft no's ("Not interested," etc.) or two hard no's. You can piss off "not interested"s all you want, we won't do jack shit about it. It's not just us being phone pirahnas, it's the fact that not being interested in something is not a reason to deny it. It's a factor. Having too many cards is a reason. Not wanting a hit on your credit report is. Like I said, you're not being clever by refusing to help me do my job. This leads directly to my next point.
3) We're people too. Plain and simple. I'm not a mean person. If someone in your family died, I won't sell you a card. If you're refinancing your house, I can understand how you would like a good credit report over our stupid card. Saying "not interested" will not make me leave you alone. And don't get snappy at me because you keep getting telemarketing calls. I only phone someone once, twice at most. If you got 4 other calls that day, that isn't my problem. I'm also not a machine. We're people, sitting at little cubicles running old computers. A little courtesy goes a long way. Just because we're calling you doesn't mean that we're paid to take your shit. If you really don't want a card, just be polite about it. We'll leave you alone faster. Plus it's nice to just run into people who have a sense of humour and a good spirit. Granted, some telemarketers don't treat the customers with any respect, but that's no reason to hate me. Even if you hate the calls, hate the sins, not the sinner. I don't choose who I'm calling. It's not a personal vendetta.
4) This kind of ties in with 3. Why are you people so pissed off with telemarketers!? If you give your address out, you get junk mail! We're calling because you already have an account with us! If you seriously wanted to get rid of us, get a phone blocker or a telephone service to do it for you. Either one is really cheap. Just because you have to answer your phone doesn't mean it's an exclusively personal means of communication. Get over it.
5) This is just a pet peeve. Gatekeepers are people who aren't the lead name, who answer the phone. I don't give a rat's ass who handles the finances of your house, I need to speak with whoever is listed on my screen, since credit card information tends to be SENSITIVE. For the love of Christ, these are the people who object to giving their date of birth over the phone, but they don't mind if we disclose their credit information to other people. Also, it's not very smart to say someone else isn't interested in an offer. Let them tell me, they're a big boy or girl! Most of the time I just get pissed off and mark you as a recall anyway. So if you keep doing it, expect 4 more phone calls where you get to say the same thing!
Also, as a note about the name listed on our screens. We answer the call before we see the name. When we're asking for a lead name, we don't have time to read the name and make sure of anything. Don't get pissed off if we can't pronounce Bdjahootinurassafaat when we sight read it. Samething if your name is Roberson. I WILL call you Robertson. Please show some compassion.
6) Continuing the answering of the phone: if you ask if we'd like to leave a message, and we say that we wouldn't, don't ask who it is! If we wanted to let you know, WE WOULD TELL YOU IN THE MESSAGE. Stupid mexican kids are the worst for this. "Hi, is Pedro Martinez there?" "No, who is this?" "IF HE'S NOT THERE, WHO GIVES A FUCK, YOU STUPID KID? EAT A SHIT TACO AND DIE." It wouldn't nearly be so bad if we didn't have to say who we were, by law, and give a courtesy close. Which is my next point.
7) By law, when you ask who we are, we have to tell you. Then, whenever Livebridge or Capital One is mentioned, like when we say who we are, we need to give a courtesy close. The courtesy close involves a 1-800 number and a reference number, which we have to give, by law. Most of the time, people ask who we are needlessly, then get impatient during the courtesy close. Shut the hell up if the phone call isn't for you. Please.
8) This one has got to be my favorite. The US is such a fucked up country. Most people don't want another credit card because they want to stay out of debt. To the people of America: YOU DON'T GO INTO DEBT BY HAVING A CREDIT CARD. If you spend more than you have, THEN you go into debt. I don't see how a free application puts you in debt. Somehow, I think your ignorance and poor money management does. Also on this note, if you're paying 60 dollars a year for one card, and this card has more benefits and a higher limit for only 30 dollars a year, CANCEL THE OTHER CARD. Some people honestly can't fathom cancelling one card and just keeping the BETTER one. So many people object to paying for two cards. Of course, we can't suggest cancelling the other card. In fact, we can't even say the word unless they do first. But so few can manage the idea.
9) And finally, when I say it's fastest, cheapest, and easiest to apply over the phone, I'm not saying it for fun. It's true. I read to you instead of you having to read! The application DOES take less time since I already have your information and send it directly to head office! There's no fee, unlike by mail! Somehow people object to me making their lives easier. Ah well, they can all go to hell.
Thanks for reading. Hopefully you'll treat telemarketers differently in the future. Also, as a note, if you really don't want to talk, just ask to be taken off the list or sign up for a national do not call list. It's not hard, just be polite!
Over and out and I've literally made more phone calls in the last 30 days than I have the 18.24 years of my life before I started.
-Jesse
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