| if i could somehow make you mine |
[21 Apr 2002|10:49pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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Take my hand. I'll be everything to you.
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| "Whats your damage little girl?" |
[20 Apr 2002|12:28pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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REM - Everybody Hurts |
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I am tired of dealing with her, so the best solution is I wont be around her... because I swear the next time I have to see her face or hear her voice, I'm gonna punch her in the face.
I only have one more question for you before I put all this way, do you not remember a conversation where you told me "I dont care what she does, she could drive her car off a bridge, and it wouldnt matter because I dont care about her feelings, I care about yours"... but last night you put her feelings in front of mine. You kept saying to me that you were just looking out for her feelings. So I guess thats what was bugging me, but hey I'm over it. I'm not going to let her bug me anymore, because to me, she doesnt exist anymore.
So its time to forget the past, even though sometimes its hard... so you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better, does it make it any better?
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| Piercing eyes stab my heart as the unwanted words float in the air |
[14 Apr 2002|09:37pm] |
So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale, another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.
Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feeel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?
Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day when I can't bear these
nights of thoughts of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
won't be the only way you'll look at me then.
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| I dont want to feel this way forever... or do I? |
[14 Apr 2002|04:46pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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Glovebox Secrets - This Gleaming Square Dance |
] |
So I just found out some really disturbing news... thats funny that he didnt tell us, because he probably thought we wouldnt find out, but oh man... are we on to you!!
Scary stuff last night, had my first flat tire in a dark scary neighborhood... good thing for tiffany's cell phone. But its all fixed now :)
Anywho, this weekend was really fun. The Wester shirts came out really good, I really like them... and they played great on both friday and saturday!
I am going to try my best to give you some time to let you work your doubts out... but just know that I care for you so much, and dont want to lose what we have.
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| My warm ears!!! |
[23 Dec 2001|01:15am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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Dashboard Confessional - The Best Deceptions |
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Tonight was great....that conversation meant so much to me... "you know john" haha!
And after all that, I forgot to take the coldplay cd with me!! Ahhh! There isnt a moment that goes by that I am not greatful for the bond we have made. I cant even describe in words how happy I am that we are best friends! And we have a family with the two other wonderful people that mean so dear to me! I cant wait for tomorrow..but then after that means you will be gone! I hope you enjoy the cds though while you are on your trip! I love you lots!
To think that you came to me with tears of sadness, and i let you cry on my shoulder and comforted you, only in return to have had you do the same thing to me that you were crying about. You dont think I know what went on, but I do. And as the days progress, I grow more and more of a hatred for you when you dont confess to the truth. I hope you can live with yourself, because I dont think I could if I held that inside for so long...
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| To Record Only Water for 10 Days!! |
[22 Dec 2001|04:32pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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music |
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John Frusciante - With No One/ Murderers |
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Eric thank you so much! I love this cd! I cant even tell you how happy it makes me to listen to it. It brings back such great memories!!!
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| Guys are confusing... who agrees? |
[22 Dec 2001|03:15pm] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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Thrice - #1 (i dont know the names yet) |
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I think things are finally settling down... and then they blow up in my face! I dont understand this... why did you get so angry at me for asking you to do a favor? Why would you say I only use you for money, do you really mean that? If so, then we arent friends...not at all.
I am glad that things are settled with kris, it just puts me at an ease, so I dont have to worry.
Jenny, I hope you like the present I got you, its gonna be awhile before I can give it to you, please bear with me... I love you though!
Tiff, i am so sorry things didnt work out on Friday, I know you were really looking forward to it. Thank you so much for the thrice cd, I absolutely love it! Are you mad at dwane or me for some reason? just from your journal...
Why do you get to confuse me... you dont get to play games with me. I never should have sat down and talk to you. I knew the words that were gonna come out of your mouth, yet I still sat there and listened. I dont want to think about you, cuz you hurt me alot before... I dont want to go through that again!
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| Pain!! |
[19 Dec 2001|12:49pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Dashboard - The Brilliant Dance |
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Why does there have to be so much pain? After going through what all of us have, we should be stronger and be supportive of one another...I begged you not to go, I begged you. I pleaded. Claimed you as my only hope, and watch the floor as you retreated...we shouldn't use hurtful words against one another...I heard about your regrets. I heard that you were feeling sorry.I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us. Well I guess I should have heard of them from you....the heart will remember what the mind tends to forget...there is no time in the world for fighting over petty problems, and we should all know that...This is where I say I have had enough, and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now....im so disappointed in myself for letting this go on for so long...please, why can't we all just realize that these days, our group of friends is all that we have, well for me at least...So this is odd, the painful realization that all has gone wrong,and nobody cares at all...making my peace, making it with distance, maybe thats a big mistake,you know im thinking of you, i miss you...in your eyes i see a darkness that torments you and in your head where it dwells. I'd give you my hand if you would reach out and grab it. Lets walk away from this hell...we took away all your pain,now wer're gone its plain to see you are nothing,now you're as the solitude of space is,we're nothing without you,what you want is what you get.............this feeling of despair is never wearing out
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| CoVo!! |
[18 Dec 2001|05:12pm] |
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mood |
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restless |
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music |
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REM - Everybody Hurts |
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Jenny, I hate to see you hurt! I love you! Please call if you need anything!
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| I hate you so much right now! |
[17 Dec 2001|06:54pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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Midtown - Just Rock and Roll (I wish I could hate you) |
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I can't believe the things you said to me... "let me act dumb", where do you get off saying that.. maybe you do stuff all the time that i hate but i dont say anything because thats not what friends do, but maybe we arent friends?
you let your big mess become everyones big mess!! I hate it! you should have thought about what would happen with the rest of us, or not even let it become a problem with us any way!!
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| Eric Schilling |
[17 Dec 2001|02:04pm] |
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What happened to you? I read your journal and I was very disgusted, and since you took off your comments section, I guess I will have to make my coment on my journal. How can you say some of the stuff you did? You make your "friends" sound like we are horrible people who dont care about anyone but ourselves. And why do you always get to bitch about problems and act like no one else has any... there are so many things going on in our minds. But as you said we are just to wrapped up to notice your problems, well maybe you should take your own advice and look around at your friends. We hurt too, and when you make comments like you did on your journal, that just pushes us farther away...
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| This warmth! |
[16 Dec 2001|11:24pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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Project Darna - Coupe de etat... or something like that |
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I have like this inner warmth right now! I cant even explain it really, because it just occurred over the last 2 hours. I am so excited that we are talking again, and even so much that we are closer now it seems! I am so excited you shared your feelings with me! We are the base of the circle, we are the glue I say!
Project Darna was a lot of fun, until I burned my tongue on hot chocolate and Brian got my new gloves all dirty. Tiff, we called you 3 times tonight because I know you would have wanted to go! He was being so cute tonight!
Ahh, well I am going to get a good night of sleep!
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| Starting a new... with my true blue! |
[12 Dec 2001|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Mazzy Star - Fade Into You (such a pretty song) |
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Ahhh I am so excited for this pajama party!! It should be fun.
Jenny, I love you so much! I can't believe I have gone so long without seeing you!!
Friday is my last day for finals and school!! Yeaahh!
Happy Birthday Julien and Gabe!! I hope you get your license Julien!!
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| This feeling of despair is never wearing out |
[11 Dec 2001|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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This Bitter Pill |
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What has happened? I thought we were really close, but now it seems that we arent. Its not that anything has really happened, its just you dont seem so excited to see me anymore, and we dont talk as much, and you dont even really seem to mention me anymore... I dont know, its just me being paranoid. I want the closeness that we used to share, and we used to do stuff just me and you... and we used to have fun!! Yeah...
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| Papa John's Cat!! |
[09 Dec 2001|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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music |
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Thrice - To What End ... sorry jess! we should be there |
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This weekend was a lot of fun. Thank you Jessica for everything you have done to help me out. I can't even express to you in words how happy I am.
I never thought I would find that "inner" happiness again, but as you could tell... I think I have!
Oh my, that carboard cat and the duck tape... which by the way, is still stuck to my car... was probably the funniest thing I have ever seen!
Denny's was fun too! I am glad we all got up and went... even though for that gross surprise!
Thank you Steve... just for letting us come over and everything!
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| Geoff- ery!! |
[06 Dec 2001|10:44pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Saves the Day - I'll Melt With You |
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Ok, how fun was the grocery store today Tiff!!! I think they thought we were crazy in there!
"Geoffery, where are the sodas?"
Oh, by the way, Geoffery is a BIG stuffed giraffe... in lamens terms (hehe for all you dumb and dumber fans out there!)
Well my friend, you are lacking... why do you make me feel like I dont count? Here is another question: you say that your reason was because you were not allowed to go out on school nights, yet didnt you go out Wed night? Hmmm...
Jess, come back to us! HAHA
jenny, I am gonna miss you this weekend!
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| True Blue!! |
[04 Dec 2001|08:32pm] |
Jenny v! What a freaking awesome person you are!! You were gonna make me cry on my way to Del Taco! That was so thoughtful and I can't even express how great you made me feel... I wish I could be as great of a friend to you, as you are to me! Ok well can't wait for dinner, and our new family to start!! HAHA I love you!
Tiff, today was so awesome, thanks for always listening to my crap! You mean so much to me! I love you!!
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[03 Dec 2001|06:58pm] |
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Does anyone want to adopt an 18 year old kid that has no job?? Any one??
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| Hand Holdage!! |
[02 Dec 2001|12:30pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Thrice - Ultra Blue |
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Awww, I hate this! I look forward to the weekends so much, but then once Sunday comes around I am in a bad mood :(!
Thanks to Jenny and Tiff, I had a lot of fun last night! Tiff I hope your Harry Potter calls, and even if he doesnt I am still so proud of you!! But he will call, so its all good!
As Jenny would say, there was some hand holdage last night guys! Oh yeah, and I was told I was the Devil... thats nice huh? HAHA!
Jessica, that was so funny when we were laughing so hard that we snorted!! I will never forget that! "What movie are we watching? - Shut up!"
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| VEGAS BABY!..... maybe? |
[28 Nov 2001|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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JEW - Sweetness |
] |
Jenny V! Thank you for thinking I am wonderful, but like I said "a person is only as wonderful as their friends are!" So I love you and I cant wait for this weekend!
Tiff, you just plain rock!! Love you!
Ryan, I cant even express hom much better I feel right now since we have talked! You are so awesome, I love you!
De Nice! My Sherlcok... denise dove... this could go on and on! How do you always know the right things to cheer me up? LOL!
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