I decided to take the 'ol metal detector out for a spin today and as I was walking to the local park, a man walking a white dog looked at me strangely. He kept on staring. Perhaps he thought I was carrying a weapon of some sort. Or that I was about to irridiate the playground. I ignored him, kept on walking and began scanning underneath the swing set for some sweet lost coinage.

Then I heard footsteps behind me. Uh-oh.

Man: "Excuse me? What is that?"
Me: A metal detector.
Man: So it can detect metal?
Me: Uh ... yes.
Man: Can you find a metal spike in my yard?

What? A metal spike? Like the one that you jabbed through your wife before you burying her in your front yard in a drunken frenzy and now you're looking for her body? Sure!

So this strange man led me to his house and I started waving my thing around until there was the alarm went off. I found something.

Man: You found it! Let me get something.
(disappears into backyard)
Me: Yeah, a body bag I bet.

He returned with a shovel and drove it violently into the ground. He hit the metal spike with a loud clank. No body ... yet. At least he had the courtesy to wait until after I left before digging it up. He thanked me and I left to find more valuable things.

After an hour of scanning, I found the following:

1. A bottle cap


2. The metal casing of a tealight


3. Unidentified scrap of metal #1


4. A scrap of aluminum foil


5. Unidentified scrap of metal #2


6. Another bottle cap

So, to summarize it all, I found a whole bunch of useless crap. Oh yeah, and a metal spike.

Me, Mei Ling & Warren

As I was getting ready for the wedding, I turned to my sister:

Me: You better not pick up any guys while we're there.
Her: Why?
Me: Because that guy could end up actually being related to you. We are related to the bride.
Her: Shut up.

Upon entering Terra, the restaurant where the reception was held, I was immediately impressed-- there were servers standing around with plates of hors d'ouevres!

Server: Would you like to enjoy an hors d'ouevres, sir?
Me: Don't mind if I do.
Server: Take more, please, it'll make my plate lighter. *laughs*
Me: Why don't you just leave the entire plate here, then?
Server: *stops laughing*
Me: Ok, not so funny ... carry on.

The food was wonderful. I don't think I've ever had a piece of chicken that was as tender or juicy. And the bathrooms were beautiful, they smelled like the kind of place where I'd want to sleep. A jar of roses in the corner, soft lighting and individual mini towels. Let me repeat that: individual mini towels. You would dry your hands, open the door with said towel and throw it in a basket. How much does that kick ass?

Overall, it was a very fun wedding. I had to kiss everyone at my table as part of a wedding game. Well, actually, my little sister had to do it, but then she chickened out and started crying, so I had to do it for her.

It seemed appropriate that the reception took place at a small Canadian restaurant as opposed to the traditional Chinese wedding banquet. It was calmer, more relaxed and more focused on the couple and it really made it a meaningful experience for everyone involved.

I can't wait till my next wedding. Anyone want to invite me to one?

For anyone who is interested, the Jays are giving away free tickets for their series against the Oakland A's from September 3rd-5th. Check it out here

So, drama camp is finished. The performance was beautiful and parents were very pleased with the production and all the extras that we put into it, like a display and headshots of all the students that they could take home with them.

There is a certain amount of satisfaction that comes from knowing that you've been able to teach an 8-year-old the basics of the Iliad.

And immediately recognizing that a 7-year-old has wet his pants and has left a trail of pee all over the floor and doing everything you can to quickly whisk him away to the bathroom, telling him to stay inside the stall and trying to surreptiously wipe up the urine, telling the other children that you spilled something, so you can save him the embarassment.

And having that same 7-year-old wrap his sticky fingers around my thumb, because his brothers are teasing him and he's on the verge of tears.

And deciding to wear a suit on the day of the performance and being told by a little girl, "you look very handsome today."

And having students hug you tightly just because they feel like it and because they can't wait until the next day to see you.

And watching them leave on the last day, asking if you'll be there next year, because they want to do it all over again.

Two weeks of summer left and then I'm leading to Louisville at the end of August. What does everyone have planned?

It's time for a pop quiz! When your child is on summer vacation for 9 weeks and expresses no interest whatsoever in drama camp, do you:

a) Respect your child's decision and enroll them in a different camp that better suits their interests.

b) Enroll your child anyway while telling her that it will be a learning experience and she should make the best of it.

c) Ignore your child completely. In fact, ensure that they have no sense of personal discipline whatsoever and send them to drama camp for 3 weeks - despite the fact that they don't want to go. Ensure that you feed them candy and popsicles for breakfast so that they are bouncing off the walls at 8:00 am every morning. Then, following the performance, with the knowledge that your child has worked 3 weeks on it, smash down her self-esteem by telling her that it was boring and that you almost fell asleep when she was on stage. And then, when we're sitting in a circle sharing thoughts on the performance, she can tell everyone what you said and the entire group will feel bad and I'll spend the rest of the day trying to make everyone feeling better again.

Read more »