Jamie's LiveJournal

Time:

9:10 pm.

As Kat already knows, there were two notes left in my locker that I found after school. My first thought was Leslie, because she is the only one who has ever left notes in my locker. So I opened them as soon as I got into my car. They're for Erin. From James. That boy is quite possibly the biggest dummyhead ever. Just because he leans on my locker every time I need to get into it does not mean he can store love notes for his (ex?) girlfriend in there. Gr.

And to Kat and Jen, I hope madrigal goes/went well tonight. *hug* I love my chicas. :)

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Subject:	Snow?
Time:	3:56 pm.

I can't fucking believe it's snowing. Granted, it's not real snow, but it's enough to fling me further into my depression. Right now I can't stand anyone. I guess it's been that way since Saturday when I got grounded for the first time since 8th grade. :/

It feels like Scott and I have barely spent any time together in a couple weeks. Every time I call, either Lance is over or Scott's not home. And then there's the time he called when he was drunk, which, because of my mood, pissed me off immeasurably.

I don't know. This just feels like a downward spiral. I'm angry and tired and achy. Gr. I have cried more in the past few days than in the past several months.

And I just got a call from my dad. His dog Sugar died.

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Time:	6:39 pm.
Mood:	drained.

    My grandma died this morning.
    For those of you who knew her or elsewise, we're having the visitation Friday, Sept. 27 at Meyers (63rd and Parallel). I'm not sure about the times, but I can post that later.
    I don't know how I feel right now. Part of me is relieved that she's not in pain anymore, but part of me just wants my grandma back. I was close to my grandma, or at least closer than I've been to any other person who's died in my lifetime.

You know, for those of you on my friends page who write depressed, whiny bullshit all the time, get over it. There is so much more to life than petty problems. Enjoy life.

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Subject:	I love my dog (on the right :P)
Time:	11:30 pm.
Mood:	amused.

Since my living room is always a little chilly, I put the fleece Chiefs blanket around my shoulders while I worked on homework. My dog started whining. He had just been outside and wasn't hungry, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I tried letting him lay in my lap, but he didn't want me. Then it came to me - he always lays on the Chiefs blanket. So I spread the Chiefs blanket out on the couch and got my grey fleece blanket from my room. I wrapped it around my shoulders, and before long Chewy was whining again. I decided to swap him blankets, thinking he wanted to sniff mine. He curled up on my blanket for a minute, but then he started whining again. Come to find out, my foot-long chihuahua wants both blankets on the couch for his use only. He is now curled up and asleep on my blanket.

This is for you cat people who think dogs are never moody or picky.

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Time:	11:01 pm.
Mood:	busy, but generally happy.

Tonight: Finish character identification for c&p;, along with much of the summaries. Along with much of the journalism stuff to gather and organize. Along with the history reading, because I'm almost certain he will draw numbers. Goddamn.

Tomorrow: After school, I supervise workshop make-ups. At 4, I have my second meeting with the principal re: newspaper. Then I have to attempt to rush to the gyn. in hopes that he will give me sample pills to hold me over until I can get an appointment rescheduled. :/

Blah. The weekend will be busy too, but busy in that good kind of way. :)

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Subject:	I'll second that
Time:	12:41 am.
Mood:	drained.

Just got home. My car is dead. I need a new battery and alternator. I am tired. And I may or may not have a car for the first day of school. We'll see.

I have 25 pages of c&p; to read before bed. I have work in the morning. I have 2459954 summaries and other projects to do tomorrow.

I found a frog in my front yard. He squeaked more than he ribbited. He jumped off my deck and disappeared.

I am too tired to write a decent entry.

Oh yeah, and I love my sweet boyfriend. Today (the 25th) is our two-year anniversary. I luff us. :)

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Subject:	First day of school
Time:	10:18 pm.
Mood:	ready, anxious, energetic.

Today, in a sense, was my first day of school. I was there from 9:45a to 4:15p. Why, you might ask? Because classes start on Monday, and our school is a fucking disaster area. They ripped apart our building to install new windows and air conditioning, among other improvements. But, the workers are several weeks behind schedule. Although the building looked a lot better after just 6 1/2 hours, I still can't fathom the idea of having actual classes on Monday.

I spent most of the day helping my newspaper adviser put her classroom back together. That was alright. I also talked to my most favorite history teacher, Mr. Hassig, and my French, English and study hall teachers. This will be a good year. For once, I feel like I am starting the year off right. I know much more clearly now what my goals are for the year. This will be fabulous, and no one is taking it away from me.

Anyways. But talking with Hassig was interesting. He believes that girls who like girls can not possibly be feminine. How amusing.. I should have mentioned something to change his mind. Eh. In any case, I'm looking forward to his class more than any other. There is something about him that draws me to him. I could listen to his stories for hours.

But, I said earlier that I am "starting the year off right," yet I still have 90 pages of c&p; to read and all my projects to do. We'll see how that goes for me.

Tomorrow, shopping with Jen, perhaps. Scott and I aren't going anywhere nice tomorrow, so I don't need the sexy outfit. But I would still love to hang out with her. Doesn't matter what we're doing. :)

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Subject:	Like a lemming, off the cliff I go...
Time:	11:48 pm.
Mood:	frenzied.

My SENIOR year schedule (yes, I am tripping over my senior status!) is as follows:

1 - Humanities: Dr. J (so far, and I hope it stays that way)
2 - IBS French V: Mme Shaw
3 - Physics I: Hampton?
4 - AEP: Smith
5 - Journalism: Jackson
6 - Advanced Reading: Redmond (basically a study hall)
7 - IBH Am. History: Hassig (yay!)
8 - IBH English: Showalter

Flawless. I am so happy. Eep!

Also, I am on 182/505 of Crime and Punishment. It's not that bad, really. And if I read more than 40 pages a day (which I have been) I'll finish on time. Awesome. Did anyone else see the reference early in the book to "like a nigger on a plantation"? I found it slightly bizarre that it was translated thusly. Though the book was written in the 1860's, so the phrase would make historical sense. Still weird though.

Saw Rebecca today. Scott and I enjoyed it muchly. Jen was awesome. :) Jen, we're sorry we had to dart off so soon after the show, but we had a housewarming party to attend in Lawrence. You were still fabulous. Congrats.

There is much weirdness going on with Scott right now. He keeps asking me what's wrong, and I shrug him off. It's true that whenever we're together, I pull away. But I have no real reason for doing so. For the time being, I'm going to write it off as a hormonal thing. Sometimes I get like this with him, and I just have to wait for it to pass. But poor Scott worries in the meantime. I've tried explaining, but he doesn't get it. Neither do I.

In completely unrelated news, I need me a hot punk/goth/something chick to play with. Rowr.. Any volunteers?

In more unrelated news, Scott and I decided that we should have another one of the drunken nights at Chrissy's. Yes. Sans Jen throwing up on the floor. And my sock. Yes.

Now I go to ~~devour~~ shove more of C&P; down my throat and hopefully write in the paper journal also. I would like to be in the red one by the start of the school year.

Update: For those of you who frequent Lawrence and actually eat meat (this means not Chrissy), see this post. Thanks. :)

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Time:

1:26 pm.

Today is the four-year anniversary of the first time I had sex. Wow.

Went to the Tom Petty concert with Scott last night. It went well, considering that I don't much care for Tom Petty. Scott had a great time. The guy standing next to us kept asking if we were married.. :/ Then, every time I left, he teased Scott, saying I'd found someone better looking and ran off. What an amusing thought. The only mildly depressing part about the whole concert was that we never could meet up with Scott's friends. Damn amphitheatre formerly known as Sandstone.

My journalism workshops went well. I still have a lot to discuss, but that's not a problem. At least I got to know people better. Though, it may have just been me, but I think Paul smelled like pot at the meeting yesterday. I hope that doesn't become an issue. If he doesn't make it an issue, then I don't care. Then again, I could be wrong altogether.

Shopping with Kat went well yesterday. We went to several places, but sadly enough, I only bought two pairs of jeans. That's alright though. I didn't need much. But I was ecstatic to actually find jeans in short or petite length. Yay for short people clothes! Anyways.

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Subject:	Warning: Raging hormones ahead
Time:	12:46 am.
Mood:	flustered.

What I really love more than anything else: When I bake cookies and dunk them in my milk while they're still gooey. Then the milk tastes wonderful. YUM!

Anyways.
Scott and I went out to the Wy Co Fair tonight to see two of my uncles in the demolition derby. Leslie and her pseudo-chick ran into us and sat with us. [Leslie, I tried explaining the you and Casey thing to Scott, and he didn't quite get it. In fact, I don't think I get it. If she's still leading you on or whatever, I'm going to beat her ass.] Then, Scott and I walked around the fair and drooled over hot chicks.

Goddamn I need a girl, even if it's just to play with. I've even suggested the threesome thing, but I doubt it will ever work out because Scott and I are attracted to different types of chicks. He doesn't realize that I'm not going to have sex with someone I don't know and at least moderately care for (I'm not talking love here, people). And the only women I've ever cared for have been like Jen or Chrissy. Scott, on the other hand, is attracted to scrawny girls like me. :/ C'est la vie. But I still really need a girl. Rowr.

Last night Scott and I went to the Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth concert at Sandstone. While Sammy Hagar was awesome, David Lee Roth was nothing but a dirty, old man, stuck in the 80's. ACK. Using a whisky bottle, he pretended he was cumming all over the first few rows. And then later, he had the camera people focus on a hot woman in a bikini, and he said, "Didn't I fuck you in St. Louis? I'll give you a backstage pass so I can fuck you again tonight. You know, those legs would look better over your head..." And he went on and on and on, while this poor woman (who is actually on her boyfriend's shoulders) is humiliated and completely grossed out. She had a grin-and-bear-it look on her face. :/ How awful. Still, even David Lee Roth played decent music.

Sammy Hagar, on the other hand, acted a little more mature than that. He seemed more relaxed on stage; he wasn't trying to prove he was still a rock star because he knows he is. How phenomenal. And he had these waitresses coming out on stage to deliver drinks...oh LORD. One of them flashed her breasts upon request, and another bent over (to "pick something up," of course) and revealed some very gorgeous parts of her anatomy. Rowr.. Scott laughed at me and asked if I was still doing alright. Heh. *blushes*

In other news, I went to my half-brother's 13th birthday party the other day. I can't believe I actually stayed two hours. It was unimaginably hard to deal with. I wanted to crawl into a hole and make everyone else die. That's all, really.

And I <3 Kat. I know I didn't get the chance to call you back tonight, but I haven't forgotten you!

Now I go to read my geeky journalism books until I crash.

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