#1???

TOP 5 WOHOO!!!

Here's a new threat...JOHN KERRY!!

actually, Kerry as president is pretty threatening, in itself ... threatens our economy ... threatens our security ...

Boy that Kerry, he is a serious candidate for serious times.

By the way, did I mention that he was SERIOUS

Oh, and top 5.

Great work Scott!!!!

We survived the threat of the Gorebot...but Kerry and his wife? There's your threat right there.

Well, I'm pretty sure I heard he served in Vietnam. You can't get more serious than that.

top ten

da zum

are yahoo SERIOUS?

Top Ten?

Kerry ALWAYS says he can change things. He never tells anybody how or shows any kind of plan. Typical Dummycrat

Kerry wont do anything until we are attacked.
But he meant to do well...

I guess he's going to generate all those new, fresh threats and then bring in the UN to take care of us.

To heck with sending diplomats to negotiate with the terrorists. Skerry and Edwards should do it personally. They seem to understand them better than anyone, and who wouldn't cringe with Edwards walking toward you with a piece of paper in his hand.

Scott really has the Kerry style down flat!
Perfect mimickry makes this all the funnier.

top 14??
Sounds just like John Fonda Kerry. We will also need to apologize for the method employed to acquire such intel.

"I'm sorry, did the discharge of my 9mm scare you? Well, don't report me to my liberal civilian neocon handlers or I may be threatened with a court martial.

:-(

What about the new age threat? Try making it with a female these days without first establishing how spiritual you are!

You can bet if the two Johns get in we will have real credible threats - we'll be lacking a few key buildings, monuments and power plants, etc. as well.

When JE pointed his finger last week and intoned how he and the Vietnam John were going to hunt down and get rid of terrorists I didn't know whether to laugh or just vomit all over my living room.

Real scary, John - that's tellin' 'em!

How about the slow talker threat? Thought Gore was slow? Tereza could bring on a wave of apoplectic seizures!

Can't we just focus on the trees? Don't you see that the trees are more important than these terrorist threats?

EEEuuuwww. Did he point his finger like JK did at the Marine? I feel so much safer now...NOT. I found a new threat:
Kedwards.

Adlai Stevenson, hmmmmmmmmm

Why does Skerry remind me of Adlia Stevenson.

Come on now, Tony, Adlai stood his ground against the Commies, made 'em back down, made 'em turn those ships around. I know, I saw the movie.

Not the first, but [deleted] good.

This might just be a parody news story, but it sounds like something that Kerry would actually say.

Yes, you can be sure that if Kerry were elected President (God forbid), we would not only have serious threats that resulted in more terrorist actions (explosions, chemical/biological attacks, kidnappings, beheadings etc), we would have many of these actions without detecting the threats in advance.
But look on the bright side. At least we would have a declining number of victims. After Terrorist attacks become frequent, people would stop wanting to move to the USA, (except for terrorists of course), the birth rate would continue to decline (due to causes like abortion, death of potential parents from attacks, Gay "marriages" [which won't produce children])
Kerry may not know how to reduce the terrorists but would definitely help reduce the number of victims.

26thy. What me fret

Some nice folks have brought their trucks to Des Moines IA this week to share images of what abortion really is.

Click my name and check out the glamor of the pro abortion crowd. Planned parenthood is ticked by this because they are exposed for what they are, baby killers.

These same people called my dad a baby killer when he came back from Vietnam. Call it poetic that, like all liberal slander, they accuse conservatives of doing things that we don't do, but commit the crimes they accuse us of.

The whole thing sums up the liberals in the world perfectly.

http://abortionno.org/

Oh my gosh!! This is so true it's scary!!

LA Times now saying Threat has dots connected to NEW intellegence. Mr. Ridge says on a scale of 1 to 10 , this Intellegence is a 10.I'd just as soon the dims DON'T take the threat seriously,and take a lot of chances , but I don't want them making that decision for me and mine.

da zum

are yahoo SERIOUS?

Wow, really slow on the uptake today.

I remember him from America's brief fasciantion with Australian culture.

Young Einstein- now there was an awful yet funny movie.

Hi all,
I've been trolling your board for awhile. I really like it here. I'm from southeast Ohio on that W-by-God VA border. And before you say anything Ms.R.W, I know where I-77 is, but prefer it down here. LOL Mindnumbed has a "friend".

Anyway, just wanted to put a couple cents in on this one. The one thing that I believe to be absolutely true of sKerry is that he has perfect 20/20 hind sight. You will not hear him tell you his plans for anything at all until AFTER they have already happened.

On the Mississippi:

John F. Kerry (D): On the Mississippi looking to "Tote that barge!" "Lift that bale,"
Edward Ted Kennedy (D) also noted “you gets a little drunk an' you land in jail.”
John F. Kerry tried to calm Ted down by reminding him that John Reid Edwards(D) was a slick lawyer;
then proceeded to claim that “That Bush Guy (R)” was following him to get “Fresh intelligence” on his campaign.
“I want to thank George Bush for sending the goons here every day to excite us,
the gods know I have a hard time doing it and it makes the crowd look substantial.
My Credo about Terrorist attacks is,
I want my Intelligence on Terrorism to be as fresh as “popcorn”,
that’s right I want to see those buildings popping before I do any thing!
You can take that to the Bank, but be close to your god(s) when you do it!
When asked were his campaign is headed the said,
“Don’t tell that “Bush Guy(R)”and I can’t be specific for that reason
but "Show me the way to the River Jordan,
There's an old stream, that I long to cross,

yeah...."

David Gregory (D)
Democrat Sycophant (toady)

TG™

Mack,
If I get your post right, you are looking at the trucks of the pro-lifers. It's disgusting, but "it gets the point across".

In the '90s, we had the rise of the IT economy....new interesting jobs, new hardware,large IT budgets, etc. Now and again, something would happen that no one could plan for; ie,Oklahoma bombing etc. We all were stunned, yet managed to continue our lives without fear. Now in the decade of terror, a new ecomomy is born.....interesting jobs, new hardware,large budgets surrounding "intellegence".....be afraid,VERY afraid!

Kerry will perform cpr on a hamster but he thinks it's ok to kill an umborn child - even though life begins at conception.

Makes a lot of sense.

I maintain that the only reason he brought the hamster back to life was because he was too cheap to buy his daughter another one.

oops, unborn child not umborn.

Sorry.

"If I get your post right, you are looking at the trucks of the pro-lifers. It's disgusting, but "it gets the point across"."

If I had a huge, infected, gangrenous wart on the end of my nose, I could just call it a slight blemish--or even pretend it wasn't there--- as long as I didn't have a mirror in front of my face to tell me otherwise.

With their new murder boasting "I had an abortion" t-shirts, (un)planned (non)parenthood has decided to call the hideous 'wart' a beauty mark.

You're right Gracies, it (hopefully) gets the point across to people who DON'T want to be responsible for "the point". Sometimes "shock therapy" is the only way to laser through the blinders & get through so much callous.

And yes, it's disgusting---especially for the child whose carnage is depicted.

Yup, the shallowness of the Johnnies on the dead-serious business of terrorism is reflected in their Convention remake. And it's enough to scare the peanuts out of your M&M;'s™. This parody is dedicated to their shallowness.

♪ ♪ ♪ TICKET TO HIDE ♪ ♪ ♪

[Tune: "Ticket to Ride", by Lennon/McCartney, performed by the Beatles]

[Verse]
The Demo ticket oompahed,
That heralded day____, yeah!
Two rich, liberal Johns,
In Convention array____, yeah!

[Chorus]
Dems got a ticket to hi-ide,
Dems got a ticket to hi-i-ide,
Dems got a ticket to HIDE--
And they don't care!

[Verse]
John 1 could double for Lurch,
Or Treebeard the Ent____, yeah!
John 2's a professional Leech,
Dems hope he's Clark Kent___, yeah!

[Chorus]
Dems got a ticket to hi-ide,
Dems got a ticket to hi-i-ide,
Dems got a ticket to HIDE--
And they don't care!

[Bridge]
Their records hurt 'em, and, unlike Bush,
They use double-talk to cover their rears,
Quacking pro-USA buzzwords and mush,
Their phony remake merits Bronx cheers!

[Verse]
Both Johns boast splendid coiffures,
And painted-on smiles______, yeah!
Their beauty's only skin-deep,
No substance, all style_____, yeah!

[Chorus]
Dems got a ticket to hi-ide,
Dems got a ticket to hi-i-ide,
Dems got a ticket to HIDE--
And they don't care!

[Bridge]
Had a patriotic theme to hijack,
Sent their voting records down Memory Lane,
But that hidden weenie's gonna strike back,
Causing chronic indigestion and pain!

[Verse]
The same old Dem song and dance,
Mau-mau, and hot air_______, yeah!
The Johnnies' red, white, and blue,
Were balloons in the air______, yeah!

[Chorus]
The Johnnies had better go hi-ide,
When voters get to deci-i-ide,
They're being taken for a joyRIDE--
That they won't share!
That they won't share!
That they won't share!

[Tag, to fade]
The Demos don't care!
The Demos don't care!
The Demos don't care!....

Don't know if anyone was listening to Rush in the past five minutes, but that caller Ingrid is what I imagine Lisa Sports Figure would sound like were she a real person.

Gee, you mean to tell me J FRaud Kerry didn't have an 8 mm camera running while resuscitating the little rodent?

Maybe I've not understood clearly when I heard JoKe is for the "common man". What with his picture hanging proudly in an anti-American N. Vietnam museum..I suppose it may be he's for the 'commie man'.

The people he panders to with the race card and NRA card, et al should rightly consider themselves insulted.

Ya think he'd offer "time share" privileges to any of these "common folk" for any of his 7 (is it?) estates? OF course, they'll have to wait until Osama and Al ZarCoward have booked their time.

I find the Follywood-Socialist (formerly Dems) relationship interesting:
On the Left Coast you have out of touch actors pretending their politicians.

In the East you have politicians who are actors pretending they're in touch.
The make such a lovely 'couple'. I'm all for sending them on an extended honeymoon to France.

Da Zumm,
Last time Ingrid called Rush, El Rushbo ran Ingrid's voice and then Tu-ray-za's. I don't think Ingrid is Tu-ray-za...but a very close clone that reads poorly straight from the liberal playbook. Yes, Ingrid could be Lisa Sports Bra.

Well, Da Zum, for those of us who can't even pick up Rush, why don't you inform us?

JFK Lite will rely on French intel for fresh threats. And Chirac is providing many.

Citizens,

Kerry is pro-life for those that missed the DNC!!!

Alexandra Kerry revealed in a prime-time address to the convention that her father had
heroically administered CPR to the family's hamster.

We are pleased to hear, that even though Democrat Presidential Candidate Senator John
Forbes Kerry is against the human fetus, he is at least pro-rodent life. The people at PETA
are thrilled with Sen. Kerry's example.

The Conservationists have declared "If everyone would have saved a rodent since Roe vs
Wade their multiplication factor would have produced enough food for the Spotted Owl so it
would not be listed on the endangered species list".

The Environmentalists have add this rodent factor information into the UN's Scientific
Computer Model for Global Warming and have declared "The rodent factor would have
prevented Global Warming if everyone would have followed Sen.JF Kerry's Rodent
Environmental Blue Ribbon Commission Policy".

Just Reporting on the Facts of Life,
Benton Bain

Sorry gracies, but it's tough to describe in print. Ingrid had this very shrill voice, and one where it almost sounded like a teenage girl trapped in the body of a 50-year old. Also sounded a bit like one who has just undergone a partial labotomoy.

Hope that helps.

Sen. sKerry, I'm sure, would be "jumpin' for joy" if al-Qaeda or other of their ilk managed to truck-bomb the NYSE or Citigroup or any of the myriad other targets in NY or elsewhere. Before the dust had settled, he'd be screaming for an "independent commission" to investigate "why George W. Bush was asleep at the switch, and incapable of discovering this threat to our society in time to stop it! Whhhhhyyyyyy, I'd do it better!"

Possibly your innumerable votes (and those of your fellow fantasy-world inhabitants [Democrats]) slashing intelligence gathering, "hum-int," and many other absolute necessities, as well as your back-stabbing, then turn 'em around and spit-in-their-faces treatment of the military services from 1971 until the moment you secured the nomination of your party in the primaries (when you suddenly became a "hawk," and let us know, for the millionth time, that you served [for a little while] in Vietnam) might have something to do with any failure to catch those responsible, eh, Sen. sKerry?

We could act pre-emptively, of course, but that makes far too much sense for a Democrat -- better to fund the heck out of the first-responders and just sit back and wait for the next "hit." Yeah . . . hate to inconvenience any Middle Eastern males between the ages of 14 and 64 by subjecting them to a little closer scrutiny than that given to 75 year-old ladies with stainless steel hip joints who get strip-searched for setting off the alarm as they're trying to board their flight -- might get sued for "discrimination" by the likes of John Edwards and his odious ilk; certainly that "little extra scrutiny" is worth 50 or 100 million dollars (Oh! The humiliation! Now I can't get up and go to work in the morning! This has disabled me from gainful employment, forever!)?

As another poster said, elect sKerry-Edwards [the "two Johns;" two human waste receptacles for the price of one!] and we'll have terror strikes across the US at the rate of once a week, if not once a day. Ol' flip-flop can complain then all he wants about those "fresh" threats, when they're coming at us one after the other with ever increasing frequency [I appreciate Scott's sarcasm, but this actually does sound like something sKerry would believe, as well as say!].

Yep -- it's gonna be an interesting four years if the American people actually put these September 10th-ers in the White House! Good luck to all of us then in the formerly-great United States of America.

sc

I got it, Mack...like my ex mother-in law.
Thanks!

To the Great Santini

I hope you are submitting your songs to Mark Steyn's online songbook!

You may not have heard this, but John Kerry is a war hero....

Ingrid sounds retarded. Not a slam but an accurate observation. My mom has worked with special olympics since I was about 8 and they are wonderful people.

Not in any way politically astute, but wonderful people who are genuine treasures.

Ingrid's voice has that mongoloid quality about it with out hte ability to see how really stupid she sounds.

It's like an adult making baby talk, very annoying to the point I had to turn it off.

Was thinking the same thing as you, Mack. She sounded a bit, well, off.

It was amusing to listen to her though. She sounded just like every liberal troll that comes along here. Ad hominem attacks with nothing to back it up, and when confronted with facts a refusal to address them.

When I heard Ingrid ,my first thought was"Lisa"She has a shrill whininess and she does have non-American accent. Maybe oriental? What is so funny is ,she gets furious at Rush ,"because he makes her sound funny and weird." And actually Rush just lets her run on .She is too stupid to know she is the one making a fool out of herself . Rush doesn't have to help her. Today she was saying that Laura Bush is a simpleton, and Rush should make fun of her instead of being so mean to T-ray. He gets so tickled he has to blow his nose(laughs til he cries) Then Ingrid turns up her shrill button another notch.

I used to get angry that he let idiots like her take up so much time on the show, but I realize now , it helps me know what these diwits are thinking, and it clarifies my thinking so I know what to say to them.

snorth:

Thank you. I've submitted selected ones to the redoubtable Mr. Steyn, and he has included some of them in the Kerry Campaign Song Book.

His web page has suggested he may put out a CD of the parodies sent to him during the election season. I hope he does because the Song Book presently features many funny, spit-up-laughing/wipe-the-monitor parodies!

Maybe the CIA and the Bush Administration should declare the left-wing of the Democratic party a threat to our nation's security. They are practically inviting terrorists to attack Great Satan American because of her eeevvvviiiiiillll military industrial complex.

With all their idiotic Bush equals Hitler demagoguery the left is putting a big bullseye on the Bush Administration AND America. Does anyone seriously believe Islamofacists actually make sophisticated distinctions between the two?

If I were an Islamofascist I would go after the heinz kerrys and Edwards bunch. They are the one's flaunting their wealth and acting more arrogant than God.

I'm pretty sure that what T-Rayshoveit meant by her "THREE MORE MONTHS" chant was--- "until the Kerry threat ends".

everyone concerned:look up who were Americas corporate giants who helped found the U.N. also, what the U.N.s goal was at that time, do you find Heinz Corporation? Under :Baron von Knigge family in America, or the Bilderbergers 1952, which coordinated the efforts of the International Monrtary Fund and the World Bank, or the book, "Evidence of a Master Conspiracy", are Heinz and Kerry members of the CFR, which openly advocates building a new world order. In 1945, Alger Hiss was a delegate, Stassen,Dulles,Rockefeller,Lattimore,Vincent and ean Ach. Don't let the wealth of Teresa HKerry only stand as a fact, there is more to it, in my opinion, and her speech sounded abit like the snake talking when he tempted Eve, she is very much affiliated with the U.N. Why the U.N.? and if she is such a good Catholic, whynot some African charity, like the missionary outreach ? I tell you, plus the fact that the Sunni Triangle is the area where a Waffen SS group was formed,, then sent to Bosnia, Yugoslaviaec in WWll to kill Jews. My point, look beyond the media news and do some reaearch on the web or in books, READ READ READ (sorry this is so long) Remember, at your state fair, wear your buttons, make a sign, do something, thanks for listening

gracies - welcome !! Whereabouts in SE Ohoo-hoo are you ? That's my old stompin' grounds, even though I grew up in WV, I was in Ohio a lot, worked there more than in WV.

I wish I could catch more of Rush's show, I heard about 20 seconds of Ingrid's call today, she MUST be related to Lisa !!

If Skerry and Kedwards have 20/20 'hind' sight, does this mean they are looking out a back, tightly controlled orifice?

Oh no, the West, by garsh, Varginians are attacking.

Now I got two of them reading the riot act towards me.

Guess I should surrender and let them join the union.

The dirty little secret is my mom's folks were from Kintucky originally and somehow made it to Iowa, then my grandma and Copenhagen™ chawin grandpa made it back to NE Ohio.

My dads family was from Sweden and my parents never told me we had kin folk in Kintucky until I was 14. By then they thought I was mature enough to handle the truth.

My first journey down there was a culture shock to say the least, but they sure knew how to cook up a breakfast. I told my mom I never saw so much food on a breakfast table in my life.

My mom's sister, God rest her soul, married a dairy farmer from WV and I swear you would think she been born and raised there.

She got hooked into Ernest Angley and gave him all her money when she sold the dairy farm that was worth nearly a million dollars and died living in public housing.

Good heavens, Ms RightWing !! That is getting too close to home, can you give me a last name and/or city/county where your aunt lived ? I got some connections in the dairy farmers union of West Virginia, me pappy and uncles were dairy farmers and pappy hauled milk from farms all over the state to various dairies. They's some fine folks in Kintucky too, strange, but fine folks....my daughters future grandpappy in law is from Kintucky too.

This is my first time also. I think Ingrid sounded just like T-ray.

I think Skerry and kedwards are "Mugwumps"
That is:
TheY plant their "Wumps" firmly on the fence, then look backward with their "Mugs" ,to see where they have been.

(I heard this somewhere but have tried to google it and can't find out who said it originally)

Be gentle with the first-timers folks!

mindknumbed kid

I'm sorry but I should have been a little more clear on the above post but my uncle was from WVA but they farmed in Massilon, Ohio. I would give you their name but I have to protect myself from any Ernest Angely spies. They may come and whack me on the forhead. BE CURED SISTAH!

If your dad knew dairy farmers that far North you can e-mail me and I will tell you his name.

Cindy,
I thought Ingrid 's voice was a little higher than T-Ray,but she could sound higher in the morning. On the other hand T-ray may just be higher later in the day,so you may be right.

Ms RW, we got kin around Massilon, but don't know the dairy folks up there.

I was making a delivery in central WV one day some 35 years after dad had hauled milk from that area and made a delivery to the daughter in law of one of the dairy farmers he hauled milk for, I was probably in diapers at the time they knew each other and only had heard the name a few times, it was neat to be able to make the connection though.

MNK

Every farmer in that part of the woods knew my uncle. He's been dead for about 10 years now.

He was an fiesty son of a gun but would give the shirt off his back to any farmer who was laid up or down on his luck

Most farmers of that generation were that way. Nowadays the kids in the cities will kill you and take the shirt off your back (along with your wallet and credit cards), the times they are a'changing.

After seeing this, I now know I would feel perfectly safe with Kerry as POTUS.

So it's John Fife Kerry?

Did anyone see the picture of Kerry on Drudge today, I still do not know how to do the link thingyso here.

http://www.drudgereport.com/

Mack, In an honest effort to lighten the mood and reclaim the hippie chick legacy .... please recount the flower gals greeting the incoming. Think all hippie chick wannabes in Scrapple will be all over it. Nancy

Some guy wrote a book that touchy-feelys loved:
All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarden. Kinder ...compassion.....garden....grow with that.
I taught the K kids this and in this order:
Clean is Keen. *(We knew how to use a wipee to an art form.)
Next, I taught them that nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
They were clean, smell-good soldiers who were clean and they cared. Just like Lady Laura.
And she's a Teacher. Who Knew. If you can read this in English, thank a teacher who is not a card-carrying member of the NEA.

Governor Arnold learned the formidable force of five year olds in Kindergarden Cop. His mentor said, "Kindergarteners are like the Ocean, never turn your back on them." Pretty much. I think Ms. Right Wing and I agree, those little crumb crunchers aren't for the weak, weary, or liberal.
Their honesty is brutal and always right on point.
Have you hugged your Kindergarten Teach today ??

Reading, Writing, 'Rithmatic
Too much homework makes me sick
When It's time to Pass the Test
Kindergarten is the Best ~~!!

Clean is a requirement for K. kids...cuz their noses are always in your armpits due to group hugs...which are the best.

PrettyOld--
Funny contrast. J Fraud K is holding those ears of corn like a patronizing girlie man and as though they were infected with cooties.

The pic of Dubya? He's got that thing shucked and looking determined to get some REAL work done! (-;)

Whaddya bet when the bus window was shut, Kerry turned around with corn in hands and asked his fellow bus pimpin' elites" What are these things, anyway?"

Kerry Slams Bush
Failure to Find New Threats
************************************

JOHN KERRY FINDS

A NEW THREAT EVERYDAY

WHEN HE LOOKS .... IN THE MIRROR

Santini - Good one with the "Ticket to Hide"... could have also done "A Trick That's Been Tried" ;)

The Great Santini,

When I "sing-along" with your excellent "Ticket To Hide", I do so with the sugar-coated inflections that Karen Carpenter gave it. I know the Beatles first sang the song but I can't get the Carpenter's version out of my head.

How about the Carpenter song..."Why Do Stars Suddenly Appear Every Time You Are Near" (whatever the title is)...as a parody ripping the Hollywood crowd for fawning over Anyone-But-Bush - aka John Flippin' Kerry?

CoL Kc,
I thought Skerry looked kind of fascinated by the ear with the Hair...err.. Silk, whereas T-Ray looks,as usual like she is saying "Shove it, whaterver it is"

Charlie's mum, And wear cotton that washes well ,because those little noses are runny a lot of the time. I got wet kisses ,even before we got a dog.

That corn shot was a killer but still not a cute as the bunny picture.

Likely the discussion on the bus was centered around the pig farms.

Tereza: John dearest, why are you holding those silly things in your hand, your'e so rurual looking.

John: I want those corn farmers to know I can relate to them. You know, tell them about my pappy's tractor and all. They see this and they will know I am one of them.

Tereza: One of them? Why, John what do you mean, one of them. I told you when I married you that you cannot pick farm stuff up and bring it in the house like my late husband use to do, who, by the way, still love very much.

John: But Tereza, these people somehow feed these things to pigs, so if I wave them in the air like this folks will surely think I'm a farmboy with a slick haircut.

Tereza: What did you just say?

John" That they will think I'm just a farmer with a farmboy with........

Tereza: No, before that.

John: What, that they somehow feed these things to pigs?

Tereza: Eyeew, get those out of here and go wash your hands...and puuleeeze close that window. I'm feeling nauseated. John get me that bottle of Pink Pills.

Wish JibJab would use that script,Ms RW

Whoooo Hoooo!!! I just got called for a political Poll. Never got called before.That will show up as thousands and thousands of FIRM votes for George W. Bush and Russ Darrow.

Great headline at Drudge right now with link to the commercial the swift boat men are planning to run. If that doesn't do JFK III in nothing will.

Think Teresa puts ketchup on her corn?

bahabuddha™:

Thank you, young Jedi Deadeye.

Hm-m-m-m...."A Trick That's Been Tried"? More apropos for a Bubba/Lewinsky parody, don't you think?

Hankmeister©also known as Hankbloviator™

And thank you, too.

You're saying The Carpenters recorded that Beatles tune? News to me! Of course, my ignorance of that fact could be attributed to my, uh, dislike of Richard & Karen's, uh, musical efforts....

...Which resembles Ms RightWing's reaction to a certain male top tenor known for a certain singing technique which begins with "y" whose technique was a sound gag in "Mars Attacks" (can't be more specific because of my high regard for the esteemed MRW, who might experience a "Mars Attacks" episode at the mere mention of either). There's nothing I wouldn't do to score a shipment of MRW's chocolate chippers....

"Close To You" [gagging, struggling for air, resisting the urge to puke...] is the name of the Carpenters tune you described ["Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near...?"] Your parody suggestion shows promise, or maybe it would work with the 2 Johnnies fawning all over each other. If I can suppress my reflexive urge to puke, I might try it....

§[:-0] Santini, UOSPP™©®♪♪♪

Great Santini,
Herb Alpert also did the tune, think it was one of two he sung. Maybe you could do it as John and Tehrayza trying to stay away from each other, which is what she seems to be trying to do a lot of the time.

Don't you dare say the Y word!!!!

In days of yore, I too despised The Carpenters but as I age and mellow out I have come to enjoy SOME of their music.

I would have never mentioned that in the 60's or they would have tossed me off the magic bus and banned me from the commune.

That's right, "Close to You". Excellent idea about the two Johns fawning over each other. You WILL have to include something about Hollywood stars falling down on their knees genuflecting before John or John-John.

Didya hear the latest about "The Boss"? Bruce Springsteen is coming out of his political closet to trash Bush and support the two porta-potties. With the Democrat J@ck@$$ icon in the background, Bruce Springsteen may find himself changing his name in November to "The Loss". For a guy who made millions off of, "Born in the U.S.A.", I now wonder which of the two U.S.A.s Springsteen was singing about - thank you very much Kerry/Edwards.

He's not my Boss!He 's not even good looking.
Think what an ego these jerks have to have, to think they can alienate half of their audience, And this truly does alienate me . Just because I buy their record or pay to go to a concert ,doesn't mean they are qualified or have any right to tell me who to vote for. So I will never pay for anything of theirs again. If they want to pay ME to listen to them I might at least listen ,but they still have no right to tell me how to vote.

I think this is one of the reasons the Hollywierd are so anxious to get a dim back in ,because boycotts of bigmouths like Streisand have hurt them and their popularity is slipping away.Another 4 years of cutting off their noses to spite their faces is gonna be the end of some of them.

What's Clooney done lately? Aflack up close ,without make up isn't even cute and he makes blonde jokes sound intelligent.

Speaking of Beatles tunes and Kerry. I think "Fool on the Hill" sums it all up nicely...

Springsteen has always been a Repub basher. I remember when he was a major Ollie North hater, too. I forget her name but Fawn something that worked for Ollie had attempted to get an autograph or meet Springsteen backstage once and he refused her because of her connection with North. ooooo a chill wind from the left coast blows in AGAIN.

I got the biggest kick out of it when his "wife" (who was his bgv singer when he was married but adultery got the best of them)...anyhoo...When Nora Jones RIGHTFULLY cleaned up on the Grammy's a couple years ago...Poor ole Patty was whining about how Nora Jones was just "the flavor of the month", whaa whaa whaa and her husband "The Has Been" should have won it, whaa whaa whaa. People that believe their own press really NEED to be deflated to keep themselves from imploding.

Oh and Springsteen...LEARN TO FRIGGIN ENUNCIATE already! If I'm looking to be bored..it's a choice between him and the golf channel.