Vere Mantratriad

Vere Mantratriad

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The rack is full... And so are we.
now before

Sunday.April.21st.2002

[02:33 pm/04.21.02]

I would just like to say that Enrique Iglesias makes me gag.

Thank you.
Mood: annoyed.

1 lick ~@~ lick my chakra

Saturday.April.20th.2002

I HATE menthol. [04:39 pm/04.20.02]

Enfant Terrible
(Perverse Ignored Dysfunctional Child)

Your little inner child is l'Enfant Terrible (PIDC) --egotistical, malaligned, dark and pithy. Nothing in you makes any sense. It's like living inside an Emcee Escher drawing with DJ Salvador Dali on your inner wheels of steel.

If it's like that old fart Frued says, "where id was, there shall ego be," than your ego will soon be visiting Dysfunction Gulch by way of Isolation City, just past Pervert Palace. Strewn about the path along the way will be the carcasses of helpless relationships you've slaughtered.

There are two ways for you to grow up and stop acting like an ass:
1. grow up
2. stop acting like an ass

Other than all that stuff, he has fun at dance clubs, likes reading (yelling?) poetry and enjoys the taste of menthol cigarettes. Natch!

I'll post about how horrible my life has been later.
Mood: mellow.
Music: t rex - bang a gong (get it on).

lick my chakra

Tuesday.April.16th.2002

I'm just girl... [06:40 pm/04.16.02]

haha I'm such a girl. I was driving home (I was allowed to drive the car home because my parents were meeting some people for dinner) and I was rather pissed off because I got yelled at by my mother for working until 6:15 when I'm supposed to get off at 6:00 (*GASP*) and I had just been battling with this very hateful pug that was trying to kill me and when I stopped by McDonald's the very first turn I took leaving the parking lot dumped my drink all over the place. I was not in a good mood. So I was doing between 50mph and 55mph in a 35mph zone when I had to slam on the brakes because there was a duck crossing the road. lol I got scared for the duck because I wasn't sure that the car in the other lane saw him, but they stopped too. Must've been another chick. heh

I just got back from a little venture into the outside world. My original plan was to go to Walmart to get hair dye and cigarettes. But the checkout lane with the cigarettes was closed and I'm too scared of people to ask the cashier to go over and get me cigarettes, so I just bought the hair dye. It's absolutely terrifying for me to be around so many people. Whenever I go to Walmart I can barely breathe and go into panic attacks. And of course, since I was too afraid to get cigarettes there, I had to stop at the drug store on the way back. Which was less scary, but I hadn't been there before so it wasn't that much better. I sped my whole way home just so that I could curl up in my room and get over all the people. There's something wrong in my head.
Mood: anxious.
Music: android lust - used.

1 lick ~@~ lick my chakra

Monday.April.15th.2002

forever may not be long enough [07:41 pm/04.15.02]

hum de dum... someone needs to fix Jo's inner clock... 30mins does not equal 60mins....
Mood: bored.
Music: live - forever may not be long enough.

lick my chakra

[04:08 pm/04.15.02]

You know, I've decided that my computer were made for each other. We're both constantly wigging out for no reason. *hugs The Squire Of Dimness*
Mood: relaxed.
Music: android lust - cruelty (desolate).

lick my chakra

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck [03:34 pm/04.15.02]

Just made an attempt at filing my taxes online and according to the program, I owe over $200. What the fuck? All I do is work. So now I get fucked up the ass? First I don't get the bloody refund because my parents claim me as a dependant, and now for no reason at all I owe them money.
So I have to wait for my dad to get home tonight to help me...except...fuck, I'm supposed to be going out with Jo. He'd better get home early and be willing and ready to help me. Considering he refused to help me in the first place (me: "I don't understand what I'm supposed to do." him: "well you'd better figure it out.") I doubt it. I probably fucked something up completely because I didn't know what I was doing. Hopefully that's all and it can be fixed. Hopefully.
Mood: worried.
Music: audra - don't whisper my name in the dark.

2 licks ~@~ lick my chakra

the blood between us uniting us.... [02:07 pm/04.15.02]

I just wanted to recommend that everyone go out and buy these artists cds and/or download some mp3s. All of them can be found on Audiogalaxy and/or mp3.com:

Android Lust
Audra
Andrea Parker
Archive

Bands that start with A rock. hehe
Mood: thoughtful.
Music: android lust - in the arms of the heretic.

lick my chakra

Sunday.April.14th.2002

[09:37 pm/04.14.02]

Don't return 3 movies from blockbuster a week late. It costs as much as it would have to buy the three movies. Ouch.

What Velvet Goldmine character are you?

I think that describes me pretty well. I always wanted them to expand more on Jack's character.
Mood: ditzy.
Music: android lust - spine.

lick my chakra

[08:37 pm/04.14.02]

dum de dum. Jo just called me and she's finally leaving the hospital. She doesn't even work there anymore and she still leaves me waiting nearly 2 hours while she's there "visiting" or whatever. *sigh*
Mood: bored.
Music: android lust - the want, lacking.

lick my chakra

Saturday.April.13th.2002

Everything, everything's gone wild [10:04 am/04.13.02]

(I'm ignoring the fact that no one has gone to my site... I'm not doing a very good job of it, mind you, but I am ignoring it.)

Today my uncle is having a pig roast (I can't think of the French phrase that it's supposed to be and I'm certain I couldn't spell it right) so we're going over there and we'll probably be there all day. Yes, take the vegetarian to a PIG ROAST. I'll probably have to sit in the bathroom the whole time to try and get away from the smell.
Mood: grumpy.
Music: archive - nothing else.

2 licks ~@~ lick my chakra

[02:16 am/04.13.02]

haha I'm a moron, I deleted all of my mood icons while uploading the new layout. *smacks forehead*

edit: they're fixed now. heh

edit again: or not.....

edit again again: okey dokey, I got it. *grin*
Mood: amused.
Music: prick - cloud.

lick my chakra

In hope there will be forever waiting for you [02:15 am/04.13.02]

And finally, the new version of The rack is full... And so are we., [gone.fading.everything] is finally up.
Please go and check it out and let me know what you think in the guestbook. Even if you absolutely hate it (or me) and want to tear out your eyeballs looking at it or shove an icepick under your toenail because I'm boring, let me know. Any kind of feedback is welcome.
There are still a couple of sections that aren't complete, but I just needed to go ahead and get it up without any further ado.
Mood: accomplished.
Music: prick - cloud.

lick my chakra

Friday.April.12th.2002

The Days [11:04 pm/04.12.02]

The days blend into days
As your knights fall from their castles
Haven?t we all learned enough
From your wicked ways?

An underwater trickle is what you found
For a simple dance
For the way I?m bored
For wherever you have gone

Behind the firemen?s garage
And down the street we?ll follow on
More than the distance
More than what?s caught your eye tonight

Fearless can you tell me
What desires come after dawn?
And does the wind still blow
After the loss of a million sighs?

She?ll go away now
But only if your eyes could look away
Nothing?s left to tear apart
The days and days
Mood: rejuvenated.
Music: westside connection -the gangsta the killa & the dope dealer.

lick my chakra

Five Dollar Aphrodite [10:12 pm/04.12.02]

A five dollar Aphrodite
And a thousand different ways
To make you feel right in this skin
In this sin so soiled
The granite sings the sounds
Everything gone wrong
Gives the little ones an appetite

The last three times I knocked
The door so loudly shut behind you
And the darkness below
Could bring you to your knees
My daughter?s gone
But thank the stars
We?ve still got the son
So the feats never end for a girl

And in a day you?d spin or sigh
Fears come to mind of quiet time
The brothers cold have gotten old
And lately I?ve ignored the signs
But will you go when they bring the fire
Down for a girl and another piper
I?ve lost my cold and it?s too dry

Some things never had wings
And so you clip yours to be fair
The jealousy looks down on me
In my clothing made of grime
And when the forest clears
She can be heard to scream
I only need a hard cock
When the girls come around
Mood: creative.

lick my chakra

[09:00 pm/04.12.02]

I'm so fucking sick of these people. My father brought home chinese food and right after my mother and sister brought home my little cousin Michael who just finished his belt test and now is a red belt in karate. He and I were playing around fighting and suddenly my father started yelling at me to go get the forks out of my room.
I hardly ever get to see Michael and when I do, he's usually playing a video game with my sister and couldn't care less that I'm here as well. So gawd forbid I be able to play with him. No, it's much more important for me to go get the TWO forks out of my room. So I threw them in the sink and came back in my room.
Fuck it. Just fuck it.
And they wonder why I always stay in my room instead of going out there when they're home?
Mood: uncomfortable.
Music: archive - seamless.

lick my chakra

[12:57 pm/04.12.02]

I just burst into tears upon reading that Maria's getting married. Maria's my age and acts like she's about 11. Her father is an absolute psycho child molester who has made me uncomfortable many many many many times. No one ever liked Maria. Now she's getting married.
She is getting married.

I feel so pathetic.
Mood: melancholy.

lick my chakra

[02:00 am/04.12.02]

Can someone please explain to me how that Andrew WK song Party Hard is "buzzworthy"? Personally, I think it's crap. Of course this is also coming from the station that plays britney spears 24 hours a day.
But seriously, Andrew WK is the worst "rock" band I've seen in a while. Do we really have to regress back to bad 80's hair bands? I mean, just ick. :P
Mood: weird.
Music: outkast - the whole world.

lick my chakra

[12:45 am/04.12.02]

Whoa, that was scary. Being the bored little wanker I am, I was snooping around on Triste's friends page and some other person started out their entry almost exactly the way that I started out my last one. I had to blink a few times before I figured out that I had not actually double posted. Yeah, I know, no one cares.
Mood: surprised.
Music: archive - nothing else.

lick my chakra

I never was the fantasy of what you wanted me to be. [12:37 am/04.12.02]

Today (er, yesterday now I suppose) sucked ass.

My alarm didn't go off (or I turned it off in my sleep without realizing it) and my father didn't wake me up at 8:00am and instead left without me. I didn't wake up until 9:45am (I'm supposed to be at work for 8am) and had to take my mother's car and haul ass to work. I didn't get yelled at by anyone at work (though I didn't mention my tardiness to the manager who didn't get there until around 10:30am. She'll notice it when she works up the hours from the computer. Oh well. Fucking fire me. It'll make leaving that much easier.) I did, however, get yelled at by my mother for taking her car. I'm not supposed to drive their cars anymore because I haven't bought my own car yet.
I don't see why it's such a hassle to make the 10 minute drive to take me to work at 8am and then for my father to stop by on his way home from work to pick me up at 6pm. Yet they never complain about making the 30-40 minute drive to take my sister to school and then pick her up again a few hours later. And she hasn't even made an attempt to get a license, nor does she have a job or do anything productive whatsoever. You'd think that after going to college for, what is it, three years now? she would have some idea of what she's going to do. But no, she hasn't picked a major and she fails half of her classes. But I'm the one who gets yelled at. Uh-huh.

Is it so wrong for me to think that I was never truly wanted but was instead the replacement for a bad pregnancy?
Mood: cranky.
Music: archive - nothing else.

lick my chakra

Thursday.April.11th.2002

[12:24 am/04.11.02]

Cherie had her baby!!! :) :) :)
Jo and I went and visited them in the hospital and got to hold Emily for a little while. She's absolutely gorgeous.

Anybody want to come and knock me up?

Tick tick tick.
Mood: exhausted.

lick my chakra

	[02:33 pm/04.21.02]
I would just like to say that Enrique Iglesias makes me gag. Thank you.
Mood:	annoyed.
1 lick ~@~ lick my chakra

	I HATE menthol.	[04:39 pm/04.20.02]
Enfant Terrible (Perverse Ignored Dysfunctional Child) Your little inner child is l'Enfant Terrible (PIDC) --egotistical, malaligned, dark and pithy. Nothing in you makes any sense. It's like living inside an Emcee Escher drawing with DJ Salvador Dali on your inner wheels of steel. If it's like that old fart Frued says, "where id was, there shall ego be," than your ego will soon be visiting Dysfunction Gulch by way of Isolation City, just past Pervert Palace. Strewn about the path along the way will be the carcasses of helpless relationships you've slaughtered. There are two ways for you to grow up and stop acting like an ass: 1. grow up 2. stop acting like an ass Other than all that stuff, he has fun at dance clubs, likes reading (yelling?) poetry and enjoys the taste of menthol cigarettes. Natch! I'll post about how horrible my life has been later.
Mood:	mellow.
Music:	t rex - bang a gong (get it on).
lick my chakra

	I'm just girl...	[06:40 pm/04.16.02]
haha I'm such a girl. I was driving home (I was allowed to drive the car home because my parents were meeting some people for dinner) and I was rather pissed off because I got yelled at by my mother for working until 6:15 when I'm supposed to get off at 6:00 (GASP) and I had just been battling with this very hateful pug that was trying to kill me and when I stopped by McDonald's the very first turn I took leaving the parking lot dumped my drink all over the place. I was not in a good mood. So I was doing between 50mph and 55mph in a 35mph zone when I had to slam on the brakes because there was a duck crossing the road. lol I got scared for the duck because I wasn't sure that the car in the other lane saw him, but they stopped too. Must've been another chick. heh I just got back from a little venture into the outside world. My original plan was to go to Walmart to get hair dye and cigarettes. But the checkout lane with the cigarettes was closed and I'm too scared of people to ask the cashier to go over and get me cigarettes, so I just bought the hair dye. It's absolutely terrifying for me to be around so many people. Whenever I go to Walmart I can barely breathe and go into panic attacks. And of course, since I was too afraid to get cigarettes there, I had to stop at the drug store on the way back. Which was less scary, but I hadn't been there before so it wasn't that much better. I sped my whole way home just so that I could curl up in my room and get over all the people. There's something wrong in my head.
Mood:	anxious.
Music:	android lust - used.
1 lick ~@~ lick my chakra

	forever may not be long enough	[07:41 pm/04.15.02]
hum de dum... someone needs to fix Jo's inner clock... 30mins does not equal 60mins....
Mood:	bored.
Music:	live - forever may not be long enough.
lick my chakra

	[04:08 pm/04.15.02]
You know, I've decided that my computer were made for each other. We're both constantly wigging out for no reason. hugs The Squire Of Dimness
Mood:	relaxed.
Music:	android lust - cruelty (desolate).
lick my chakra

	Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck	[03:34 pm/04.15.02]
Just made an attempt at filing my taxes online and according to the program, I owe over $200. What the fuck? All I do is work. So now I get fucked up the ass? First I don't get the bloody refund because my parents claim me as a dependant, and now for no reason at all I owe them money. So I have to wait for my dad to get home tonight to help me...except...fuck, I'm supposed to be going out with Jo. He'd better get home early and be willing and ready to help me. Considering he refused to help me in the first place (me: "I don't understand what I'm supposed to do." him: "well you'd better figure it out.") I doubt it. I probably fucked something up completely because I didn't know what I was doing. Hopefully that's all and it can be fixed. Hopefully.
Mood:	worried.
Music:	audra - don't whisper my name in the dark.
2 licks ~@~ lick my chakra

	the blood between us uniting us....	[02:07 pm/04.15.02]
I just wanted to recommend that everyone go out and buy these artists cds and/or download some mp3s. All of them can be found on Audiogalaxy and/or mp3.com: Android Lust Audra Andrea Parker Archive Bands that start with A rock. hehe
Mood:	thoughtful.
Music:	android lust - in the arms of the heretic.
lick my chakra

	[09:37 pm/04.14.02]
Don't return 3 movies from blockbuster a week late. It costs as much as it would have to buy the three movies. Ouch. What Velvet Goldmine character are you? I think that describes me pretty well. I always wanted them to expand more on Jack's character.
Mood:	ditzy.
Music:	android lust - spine.
lick my chakra

	[08:37 pm/04.14.02]
dum de dum. Jo just called me and she's finally leaving the hospital. She doesn't even work there anymore and she still leaves me waiting nearly 2 hours while she's there "visiting" or whatever. sigh
Mood:	bored.
Music:	android lust - the want, lacking.
lick my chakra

	Everything, everything's gone wild	[10:04 am/04.13.02]
(I'm ignoring the fact that no one has gone to my site... I'm not doing a very good job of it, mind you, but I am ignoring it.) Today my uncle is having a pig roast (I can't think of the French phrase that it's supposed to be and I'm certain I couldn't spell it right) so we're going over there and we'll probably be there all day. Yes, take the vegetarian to a PIG ROAST. I'll probably have to sit in the bathroom the whole time to try and get away from the smell.
Mood:	grumpy.
Music:	archive - nothing else.
2 licks ~@~ lick my chakra

	[02:16 am/04.13.02]
haha I'm a moron, I deleted all of my mood icons while uploading the new layout. smacks forehead edit: they're fixed now. heh edit again: or not..... edit again again: okey dokey, I got it. grin
Mood:	amused.
Music:	prick - cloud.
lick my chakra

	In hope there will be forever waiting for you	[02:15 am/04.13.02]
And finally, the new version of The rack is full... And so are we., [gone.fading.everything] is finally up. Please go and check it out and let me know what you think in the guestbook. Even if you absolutely hate it (or me) and want to tear out your eyeballs looking at it or shove an icepick under your toenail because I'm boring, let me know. Any kind of feedback is welcome. There are still a couple of sections that aren't complete, but I just needed to go ahead and get it up without any further ado.
Mood:	accomplished.
Music:	prick - cloud.
lick my chakra

	The Days	[11:04 pm/04.12.02]
The days blend into days As your knights fall from their castles Haven?t we all learned enough From your wicked ways? An underwater trickle is what you found For a simple dance For the way I?m bored For wherever you have gone Behind the firemen?s garage And down the street we?ll follow on More than the distance More than what?s caught your eye tonight Fearless can you tell me What desires come after dawn? And does the wind still blow After the loss of a million sighs? She?ll go away now But only if your eyes could look away Nothing?s left to tear apart The days and days
Mood:	rejuvenated.
Music:	westside connection -the gangsta the killa & the dope dealer.
lick my chakra

	Five Dollar Aphrodite	[10:12 pm/04.12.02]
A five dollar Aphrodite And a thousand different ways To make you feel right in this skin In this sin so soiled The granite sings the sounds Everything gone wrong Gives the little ones an appetite The last three times I knocked The door so loudly shut behind you And the darkness below Could bring you to your knees My daughter?s gone But thank the stars We?ve still got the son So the feats never end for a girl And in a day you?d spin or sigh Fears come to mind of quiet time The brothers cold have gotten old And lately I?ve ignored the signs But will you go when they bring the fire Down for a girl and another piper I?ve lost my cold and it?s too dry Some things never had wings And so you clip yours to be fair The jealousy looks down on me In my clothing made of grime And when the forest clears She can be heard to scream I only need a hard cock When the girls come around
Mood:	creative.
lick my chakra

	[09:00 pm/04.12.02]
I'm so fucking sick of these people. My father brought home chinese food and right after my mother and sister brought home my little cousin Michael who just finished his belt test and now is a red belt in karate. He and I were playing around fighting and suddenly my father started yelling at me to go get the forks out of my room. I hardly ever get to see Michael and when I do, he's usually playing a video game with my sister and couldn't care less that I'm here as well. So gawd forbid I be able to play with him. No, it's much more important for me to go get the TWO forks out of my room. So I threw them in the sink and came back in my room. Fuck it. Just fuck it. And they wonder why I always stay in my room instead of going out there when they're home?
Mood:	uncomfortable.
Music:	archive - seamless.
lick my chakra

	[12:57 pm/04.12.02]
I just burst into tears upon reading that Maria's getting married. Maria's my age and acts like she's about 11. Her father is an absolute psycho child molester who has made me uncomfortable many many many many times. No one ever liked Maria. Now she's getting married. She is getting married. I feel so pathetic.
Mood:	melancholy.
lick my chakra

	[02:00 am/04.12.02]
Can someone please explain to me how that Andrew WK song Party Hard is "buzzworthy"? Personally, I think it's crap. Of course this is also coming from the station that plays britney spears 24 hours a day. But seriously, Andrew WK is the worst "rock" band I've seen in a while. Do we really have to regress back to bad 80's hair bands? I mean, just ick. :P
Mood:	weird.
Music:	outkast - the whole world.
lick my chakra

	[12:45 am/04.12.02]
Whoa, that was scary. Being the bored little wanker I am, I was snooping around on Triste's friends page and some other person started out their entry almost exactly the way that I started out my last one. I had to blink a few times before I figured out that I had not actually double posted. Yeah, I know, no one cares.
Mood:	surprised.
Music:	archive - nothing else.
lick my chakra

	I never was the fantasy of what you wanted me to be.	[12:37 am/04.12.02]
Today (er, yesterday now I suppose) sucked ass. My alarm didn't go off (or I turned it off in my sleep without realizing it) and my father didn't wake me up at 8:00am and instead left without me. I didn't wake up until 9:45am (I'm supposed to be at work for 8am) and had to take my mother's car and haul ass to work. I didn't get yelled at by anyone at work (though I didn't mention my tardiness to the manager who didn't get there until around 10:30am. She'll notice it when she works up the hours from the computer. Oh well. Fucking fire me. It'll make leaving that much easier.) I did, however, get yelled at by my mother for taking her car. I'm not supposed to drive their cars anymore because I haven't bought my own car yet. I don't see why it's such a hassle to make the 10 minute drive to take me to work at 8am and then for my father to stop by on his way home from work to pick me up at 6pm. Yet they never complain about making the 30-40 minute drive to take my sister to school and then pick her up again a few hours later. And she hasn't even made an attempt to get a license, nor does she have a job or do anything productive whatsoever. You'd think that after going to college for, what is it, three years now? she would have some idea of what she's going to do. But no, she hasn't picked a major and she fails half of her classes. But I'm the one who gets yelled at. Uh-huh. Is it so wrong for me to think that I was never truly wanted but was instead the replacement for a bad pregnancy?
Mood:	cranky.
Music:	archive - nothing else.
lick my chakra

	[12:24 am/04.11.02]
Cherie had her baby!!! :) :) :) Jo and I went and visited them in the hospital and got to hold Emily for a little while. She's absolutely gorgeous. Anybody want to come and knock me up? Tick tick tick.
Mood:	exhausted.
lick my chakra