I received the following comment on a post I made regarding the newsworthiness of chickens being tortured before they are slaughtered:

This post is incredibly asinine. If you had attempted a distinction between humans and animals as an escape from being concerned over the suffering of chickens, then we might have something reasonable to discuss.

Instead, you argue that because something is bound to be extinguished, there is an apology for inducing suffering. Because you fail to make any distinction between humans and animals, this argument can be tested against our own intuitions with regard to humans. If you told me that since a boxcar full of Jews is on their way to gassing that you wouldn't be concerned about the awful boxcar conditions, that you couldn't understand how that might make headlines, I'd advise you that you have some defects in your thinking.

Again, maybe at this point you want to introduce an argument mitigating the seriousness of chickens' suffering. So far you haven't done so, and instead have proposed an asinine and repulsive argument on the moral permissibility of torture when death is sure to follow.

Real thoughtful, asshole.

OK, since you want to be insulting, call names, etc. instead of debating this issue, I am going to come down and play with you my friend. First of all, I made no distinction between humans and animals because most of my readership is smart enough to understand that there are obviously differences between a human and a dumb fucking chicken. For overestimating this particular commentors intellect, I am fucking sorry. So to as to appease you, I am going to say it really slow and in uppercase letters so as to make sure that you understand: THERE IS A BIG FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MOST HUMANS AND A CHICKEN(I am not sure about the poster in question, he may indeed be a chicken pecking on a keyboard as an experiment at George Mason University).

Now that that is out of the way, I never said that it wasn't wrong that these guys tortured these chickens. I merely stated that it wasn't newsworthy, not when millions of people are suffering all over the world, not when peaceful people can go to jail for choosing to use marijuana to ease their suffering, not when politicians fail to alert us of danger because they are afraid of what it will do to tourism, not when human slavery still exists, no I do not think the suffering of a few fucking chickens is newsworthy - this story was the top headline on netscape news when I woke up that morning.

The post was supposed to be halfway humorous, if you knew me as my friends do you would understand that but instead you decided to attack and name call so I am going to return the favor: If you don't like my site, stay the fuck off of it you syphilitic offspring of a mongolian gang fuck. If I was really mean I would post your email on my site and ask everyone to email you their favorite picture of animal genitalia but I am not going to do that. I am above that.

Instead, I am going to ask that if you have a problem with one of my posts that you take a couple of deep breaths, relax your entire body and SHOVE YOUR HEAD RIGHT UP YOUR ASS.

This story just makes my butt want to knit barbed wire. The government uncovered video surveillance of Casino's in Vegas from known terrorists and the sorry bastards didn't inform the public because they discussed whether a warning might hurt tourism or increase the casinos' legal liability, internal memos show. BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! BULLSHIT!! I cannot even begin to describe how angry I am at this moment in time.

Everything you ever wanted to know about Ramen Noodles but were too afraid to ask.

As a kayaker, I think this would have been the story of a lifetime.

Watch this and laugh hard.

I don't even know what to say about this.

Oh My God this is funny.

Below is a hilarious description of an accident. I about fell out of my chair laughing:

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form, block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me...I again lost my presence of mind...and let go of the rope!

Why on earth would the US government block honest research on ANY drug? Much less Marijuana as it is one of the few drugs that has 0% toxicity and is not physically addictive. If marijuana is bad for you then proper research would show us that but the US government would rather play the nanny role and say "Don't use marijuana because I said so, that's why!" This article gives some info on the subject. I am disgusted.

RELATED LINKS

Altered Minds
Former drug warriors turn against prohibition.

Marijuana Hoax

PETA has investigated a company that supplies chicken to KFC and found that they "torture" the chicken. Video footage was captured of workers slamming chicken into walls, stepping on chicken and kicking the chicken. Normally, I would be a little concerned that this was taking place but THEY ARE IN A FUCKING SLAUGHTER HOUSE. They are going to be killed and consumed by the masses. I don't see how this even made the headlines. It is pretty much a non-story but I guess if the press continuously shows us bullshit news, we won't notice things happening that do matter.

I in no way want this post to be taken the wrong way. I have several gay friends that I do not wish any ill will but I must know why it is so important to identify yourself as a gay person. By this, I mean, why must so many gay men and women have bumper stickers, flags outside their homes, etc. that identifies them as gay(and usually some subculture of the gay community). If being gay is merely a sexual preference, I do not understand the need for all of the identifying marks. I don't have a flag that says "I enjoy oral sex and doggie style with women that have long dark hair" hanging out of my apartment window. This is a serious inquiry. I honestly do not understand this cultural marking trend in the gay community. BTW, if you want to see a cool comic strip that is geared toward the gay community(particularly bears), check out what my friends and I(I am the token straight man in the writing team) are working on.

Everyone reaches a point where a certain activity is no longer worth the toll it places on our life. I have reached that point with my job. I am suffering from major burn out and am using the last bit of my vacation time as a last ditch effort to pull out of this slump. I will not discuss the specifics of my problems with my job in this forum. I will say that I feel as if I am in a lose-lose situation and am ready to move on. I am slowly applying and interviewing for other positions but I am slowly growing impatient and may just end up quitting and taking my chances on the open market. I really hope this little vacation will refresh me long enough to stick it out and find a job.

I initially thought that the problems I have with this job were related in part to the stress I dealt with during my divorce and I was having some carry over into this part of my life. That stress is, for the most part, gone and has been for a few months. I then looked to adding some physical activity and some stress reduction techniques to try and cope and while that has helped to some degree it has not helped anywhere near enough. I sat down and thought hard over what my problems are with this job. They are fundamental problems with our local leadership. I have been in management and my technique is the polar opposite of our current leadership. I had great success with my management style and was able to retain employees longer than our average and increase profits while maintaining a satisfied work staff. I am sure that the current management has great success with their style but I don't believe that employee satisfaction is where it should be(I know in my case that they have failed in this area).

I am working in a corporate office environment and can only laugh every time I see the movie Office Space as I can see so many of the management techniques that they make fun of being a part of my everyday life. I am really thinking about trying to get back into my college study field(Exercise Physiology) either by jumping back in or continuing on to a Doctoral Program or Professional Program(Respiratory Therapy, Certified Athletic Trainer, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, etc.). I made it thru my getting my undergraduate degree without collecting but $1000 in student loan debt which was paid in full years ago. So. I don't see a problem with collecting this type of debt at the age of 35. At any rate, if I don't get out of here soon, I am going to snap.

Dear God, this is funny.

I am not even going to comment on the likeness here:

Campaigning is going too far. This site claims that a vote for Bush is a vote for Jesus Christ. OK, I am not doubting the greatness of Jesus Christ. What I am questioning is comparing George W. Bush to the Christian Messiah. As a Christian, I am offended that any man is compared to him. This is tasteless and should be considered taboo even in a day and age with very few moral boundries.

Many thanks to Molly for pointing out this site to me.

Check out my pics from Saturday's Kayaking trip on the Harpeth River.

Spanky the clown from Ringling Brothers has been arrested.

Either way, we are ensured to have an idiot for a president for the next 4 years. Even sadder, if the president is killed off or dies, there are bigger idiots sitting behind each of the 2 major candidates. This has got to be the worst selection for capable leaders that I have ever seen. I feel like I have been given the choice between watching Ishtar or Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones. On one hand we have Ishtar- considered by critics to be the worst movie in American Cinema history. On the other hand we have Star Wars Episode II, I would rather scrub the balls of a hungry bull as to see this movie again. Now my presidential choice ( Should I choose to vote for a major candidate. ) is just as bad.

Today, as I was Kayaking, I watched a leaf fall from the tree all the way down to the water. It drifted slowly in the wind and laid itself perfectly in the water just like a little boat. It was then that it hit me that things that seem so simple and insignificant can have a huge impact on the world on down the road. See, an ant may have been able to step onto this leaf and ride it to the other side of the river or perhaps further down the river. In any case, the ant may make it to another location because of this leaf. From the relocation, the ant will take part in another ant community that might multiply over time to a very large ant community. The ant colony will aerate the soil and help control other insect pests populations from growing out of contol. I guess what I took away from this is that little things we may think are insignificant can play a huge role on the path of the future. So, be kind to people and if a homeless person asks for some change, give it to them if you can spare it. It may seem like nothing to us but it may make a big turn around in this person or some other person on down the road. Pick up trash even if it isn't yours. Smile at people for no reason and let's affect the future in a positive way. Look further down the road at what might be and how you might be able to make it a bit better.

I went kayaking twice this weekend. I went 7 hours Saturday on the Harpeth River with a group of friends and again this morning for 3 hours alone. I am hooked. I am glad I went ahead and invested in a kayak and equipment. It is truly a form of exercise I can enjoy with friends or alone.

I loved the Kill Bill series of movies. QT is a genius at writing dialogue. I loved Bill's monologue at the end of the movie when he is talking about Superman. Here it is:

"Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race." - Bill

About 3 weeks ago I was particularly hungry and wanting some ice cream. My state of mind was as such that I was too lazy to go buy some ice cream from the store. Enter the familiar sounds of "Pop Goes the Weasel" slowly moving closer, getting louder on this particularly warm and sunny summer afternoon in Nashville, Tennessee. A fire lights in my brain, this music can only mean one thing - THE ICE CREAM MAN COMETH!! Energized. I run down 3 floors from my apartment to the courtyard of my apartments and from the courtyard to the street. I was single minded and steadfast in my purpose: Red White and Blue Rocket Pop!! Sounds like a pretty zen type moment. This is where the Mr. Creamy driver had to ruin the experience. This motherfucker sees me running after him and purposely drives a block and a half further down the road with my 35 year old adult ass running after him. He must have sensed that the state of mind I was in would not let me be denied my beloved Rocket Pop even if I had to run a few blocks. He took this opportunity to make my ass run for the Rocket Pop. I could imagine his smug face laughing at me while watching in the rear view as I huffed and puffed to keep up. He finally stops and acts like he is sorry ad that he didn't see me. I get to his truck all out of breath and desperate to devour the 4 oz of frozen sucrose, water and food coloring. I am happy again and all is forgiven as long as he has the sugary object of my desire. I buy my treasure and head back down the street with a giant grin eating my Patriotic summer treat. I felt like such a kid for a moment. I love those feelings. A brief step back in time when I didn't have to worry about anything more than "Am I going to get a Rocket Pop?" They are too few and far between these days. I am making every effort to find these moments again and enjoy them.

Ok, this is funny and I don't give a damn who you are.

"Sing love's lament with a thorn at your breast. Impaled by her barb; cruel and unforgiving. A million dead poets would gladly attest; heart-ache's a keepsake to remind us we're living."

If John Ashcroft values freedom, he would send this guy a Girls Gone Wild DVD.

Six Apart, creators of the popular weblog software, Moveable Type, had upset many customers with their unexpected license changes effective for version 3.0 and beyond.

To their credit, they have listened to the users uproar and have made some changes from the initial license release.

It seems that Britain is ready to slap a tax on companies that serve "fattening foods" and will use the money to build sports centers to encourage active lifestyles. When are people going to take responsibility of their own actions. No one is forcing Mickey D's food down anyone's throats. People, quit blaming others for your weakness. Should we tax parents of fat kids if their genetics prove to be a factor in the child's obesity?

This post was wriiten while jamming to Catch The Wind from the album Whisper Tames The Lion by Drivin 'N' Cryin

First Ronald Reagan dies and now Ray Charles. I became a Ray Charles fan as a teenager because my mom had told me how much my dad liked him and in an attempt to emulate my father(and personal hero growing up), I picked up a Ray Charles tape and drove my friends crazy listening to Ray's smooth Jazzy Blues sound. My favorite song was Seven Spanish Angels which he sang as a duet with Willie Nelson. Ray and Ronnie, you will both be sorely missed as each of you are American icons.

Ray Charles was 73 at the time of his death.

This post was wriiten while jamming to Seven Spanish Angels from the album Ray Charles & Friends: Super Hits by Ray Charles, Willie Nelson

Ok, So last night I was bored and took a personality test. Folks who know me, let me know what you think of the test. Is it accurate? Susan, if you are reading, you are more than welcome to comment. Here is the info:

Ronald Reagan passed away today at the age of 93 after an extremely long battle with Alzheimer's. This was the last of the Gentleman politicians. Politics aside, he was the last president to make us smile. R.I.P. Ronnie.

The Department of Homeland Security has issued an A.P.B. for a Mr. Hank Hill of Arlen, Texas. He is listed as a "Person of interest" in the theft of 2 propane trucks stolen from FerrelGas of San Antonio, Texas over the Memorial Day weekend. The Department of Homeland Security working in cooporation with the FBI has set up an information line. Any information should be immediately turned in by calling 1-888-No-Civil-Rights.

I am looking for an illustration artist to start a comic strip on this site. I am receptive to both flash or standard pen and ink artists. If you think that you would be interested in collaborating, let me know.

At the suggestion of my boss I have finally watched Swingers
. Wow, what a movie. It really struck home with me. The character Mike was dealing with life after a breakup and you see all of the advice both good and bad that his friends give him. You see his struggle between desperation of wanting to move on and the reality of the fact that it doesn't happen over night. Besides the laughs, I got a lot out of this movie. I highly suggest everyone add it to their dvd collection.

Tired. I move cautiously into the crowded bar. Pasty white masses looking for meaning. She catches my eye. I approach. I smile. She smiles back. Sultry eyes. She knew her affect on man. Rarely did I find a woman that fully understands their impact on the male body and mind. She knew. She tried to play it down. Noisy, hard to carry on a conversation. Did it matter? Words are just filler, an interlude of what was to come. Masterful innocence is such a turn on. A light brush of her hand against my leg. Purpose driven accident. Endorphin rush. Quiver.

Jamming to Good Feeling from the album Violent Femmes: Deluxe Edition by Violent Femmes

Eyes burn, stinging. Vision blurred in painful exhiliration. Out of breath, running hard. I can smell his fear. The hair raised on the back of my neck . My face contorted into a twisted mass of muscles. He doesn't want to be caught. If I were in his shoes I wouldn't want to be caught either. It had been a long time since I was the hunted. Sometimes I miss it. I missed the weaknesses. Weaknesses define humanity. Without them we are all dull, boringly brilliant. Indestructable masses with a hunger.

Beautiful like a fresh wound. Soft glow glistening off of her silhouette. Prespiration beaded up, marching in formation down her forehead, dripping off of her nose, 1 beautiful bead at a time. It splashes on my forehead, intoxicating my every move. She was my drug. I needed this, it had been too long. She didn't need me. I knew it when I walked in the door. The money changed hands casually like it had so many times before. I asked her name when I arrived, it was Botan, she said it was Thai for flower. Something felt more comfortable now that I knew her by name even though it was probably an alias. I didn't think too hard on this as it would have spoiled the illusion. Sweet and pure, that was Botan. Or at least that was what I envisioned at the time. I wondered how many had gone before me. Was I the first today? I closed my eyes, I didn't want to know.

Jamming to 2x4 from the album Soup by Blind Melon

I inadvertently posted a few posts about my ex-wife that were supposed to remain in draft mode. For that, I apologize, I never meant for them to be seen in a public forum.

All-

I am switching site design, name and url soon. If you care to continue following my posts, you can email me to find out the new url. I hate having to make this move as I am now receiving about 1200 visitors daily but unforseen circumstances are forcing this change if I am to feel free to write what I wish.

I will continue to post here for a while but the change will come soon.

I am sorry to those who come to my site for entertainment. Unfortunately, some people come here for the sole purpose of attempting to disrupt and control my life.

My heart is open
Exposed for all to see
like the crimson beauty of a fresh wound
both lovely and frightening
fragile and strong
easily torn, easily revealed.

To shield it or protect it
would be unjust
would we block the view
of the ocean in the name of safety?

Like the sea
the heart and its beauty
are not properties of one
but the property of all.

Some will stare at it's wondrous offerings
with awe and admiration
careful to never get too close.

Others will run from it
in fear of its potential dangers
never knowing its true meaning.

But I, I will dive in
carefree, blissful
becoming one with its ebb and floe.

--Jason Nelms 5/23/2004

My eyes-
Emerald mirrors that reflected your radiant beauty,
Like a pristine lake reflects the silvered twinkles beneath the velvet tent of the evening sky.

My ears-
Soothed my senses with the wispy echo of your voice,
Gentle, soft, steady; uplifting, fortifying, calming.

My nose-
Intoxicates my consciousness with your scent,
As the fragrant jasmine envelopes the countryside on a warm summer day.

My lips-
Quiver with the mere thought of your silhouette,
Tremors as strong and devastating as an earthquake and as soft and beautiful as the hummingbird's wings.

My Soul-
Entrapped by the embrace of your new love,
Wilts with every sultry smile you flash him, fades with every pleasant thought you have of him; longing to be free, to soar again, to be one soul free of this union.

--Jason Nelms 5/22/2004

Well, after much huffing and puffing, I finally have gotten MT3.0D installed and working. I hope it works well and that the nice folks at Six Apart take into cosideration my previous donations so as to still give me access to the site publicity feature on their site.

Read this and you will be as disturbed as I am about these conditions both in the U.S. and abroad.

I hate subjective dress codes. I don't like too think to much about what I am wearing to work each day. If we are having a dress code then give us a few shirts with the company logo and let us wear kaki, navy or black pants with them. Problem solved. The problem we have at my work is that we are told to dress "professional" with few guidelines. What I might find professional, another might find inappropriate. This causes stress in my life and my other coworkers. Plus, there is just something homo-erotic about getting dressed for work and the one phrase that keeps running thru my head is, "I hope Steve likes what I am wearing today!" and that's just not right.

This post was wriiten while jamming to I'm The Only Gay Eskimo by The Gruber Boys

After having the woman I loved commit the ultimate betrayal on me, I have decided this:

I will not get emotionally involved with another woman unless she meets the following criteria:

-Green Eyes
-Asian
-Mute
-Subservient
-Skilled Chef
-Certified Massage Therapist
-Expert Auto mechanic
-Nymphomaniac
-Owns a Liquor Store, a strip club or an amusement park
-Owns a beach house
-ex circus performer mastering both the job of contortionist and sword swallower

If all of these conditions are met, then I will consider becoming involved in an affair of the heart =).

With all of the hubub over Gay marriage, these guys came up with a humorous way to make a good point.

This article explains how men are better at directions(and geometric calculations) than are their fairer counterparts.

Very interesting, now shut up and quit yelling for me to stop and ask directions!!

Guys,

If you like Bluegrass or Punk Rock this CD is awesome. It is bluegrass music with a kind of teen angst feel to it's lyrics like punk rock. It is the best album I have bought this year bar none.

I suggest this for your Summer music collection.

Well, I have been trying to upgrade to MT 3.0 but I keep getting an Internal Error and then all of my site comments die on me. I have rolled back to 2.661 for the moment as I still need to figure out what the dealio is before I make any more upgrade attempts.

Although, the folks at Six Apart have made some drastic changes to the personal version of MT in the 3.0 rollout that are not personal blogger friendly, I have decided that the pluses will outweigh the minuses, I just hope that I will still get good support as I paid for my original license and would expect them to honor that.

On the plus side, I finally got MT-blacklist to work on my site so that I can start fighting comment spammers.

I went to a summit for my job in Jacksonville, Florida. While there I realized several things and was also offered a new job. I realized that the job expected of me at my call center(with the exception of 2 other company call centers) is done by 6-10 people in most other call centers. I also discovered that regardless of the cost of living difference, I was being grossly underpaid in Nashville. I was pseudo-interviewed by one of the other call center managers and informally offered a position making more money(6-10k more to be exact - he laughed at me when he asked what I was currently being paid and I answered), doing 1/4 the amount of work under a boss that actually understands the job he is asking me to do as he has done it before. I was also offered relocation expenses. On top of it all, it is in a coastal city - yep that's right it is on the beach. Oh and just when it can't sound any better, The cost of living index is lower in this city than it is in Nashville. I am freshly divorced and for the first time in my life, I can pick up and move wherever I fancy without having to consider anyone else. I just can't find a downside to this other than I would have to forge new friendships which I have never had a problem with before.

Now, granted, we were all drinking and partying when this interview and offer took place but this manager was not blitzed at the time we had this conversation. I am pretty excited to have this opportunity even though it has not solidified as of yet. Hopefully, I will know more by the end of this week. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers, this is exactly what I have been looking for over the last 6 months or so. I am pumped because: I really liked this manager, I also liked his boss, I have been in a beach mood, my current boss and his boss don't understand the complexities or time it takes to do the things they expect of me, I don't like working under someone that isn't straightforward(my current leadership uses veiled attempts to "trick" me into doing something else which doesn't trick me it just pisses me off that they assume I am mentally inferior to them - little hint guys my IQ is between 155 and 167 depending on the test used and treating me like I am a dumbass that doesn't see thru your thinly disguised attempts at manipulation is not the way to guide me), I can get away from Nashville(I love Nashville but it is full of memories of the ex and our marriage), better pay & more laid back and professional atmosphere(yes you can have both at the same time).

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts.

I have a new game for everyone to play on their blogs. Here is how it goes: I give you a few words and a topic, you have to write an entry on the topic using all of the words at least once and either post the link in my comments or trackback ping me =).

[Topic] : Love
[Word 1] : Learn
[Word 2] : Close
[Word 3] : Skill
[Word 4] : Doubt
[Word 5] : Sense
[Word 6] : Action
[Word 7] : Beauty

There it is, the first Damn it To Hell Hump Day Challenge. I realize my readership has dropped off in the last few months, mostly due to my lack of enthusiasm and my shift from political to personal postings but I am working to get back into the flow. That being said, the more people that participate, the more fun this will be, so let's get this started!!

Check Out my first Imix on ITunes: Summer Flow

This post was wriiten while jamming to Bubble Toes from the album Brushfire Fairytales by Jack Johnson

Check out this article to see how the proponents for a National Healthcare plan could potentially hurt our liberal immigration policies. It is really something to think about.

Read this and laugh like I did.

I do not want to see Chicks with Dicks, bondage, Barnyard Lovin, Scat, XXX Watersports. I don't want to see celebs caught nude sunbathing, Backdoor Babes taking on 2 guys, Snuff films, etc.

And another thing, I do not want or need to increase my penis girth or length, I and the women I have dealt with seem to be happy with my guy at his current measurements. I don't want to refinance at low low rates. I don't want to enlarge my breasts as it is not generally a desirable quality in men, especially when their chest is as hairy as mine.

As for you motherfuckers at X-10, I do not think that anyone wants me to set up wireless webcams all over my apartment, about the most excitement that they will ever experience is me scratching my balls while drinking a beer, eating a tv dinner and watching Seinfeld reruns.

In essence, leave me the fuck alone. Stay out of my inbox and off of my fucking website. Spammers are among the sleaziest of humanity. We can stack them side by side with politicians, Amway salesmen, Mediums, Palm Readers, that dick cheese John Edward from the TV show Crossing Over, Bill O' Reily, Rush Limbaugh, Al Frankin, Michael Moore and the entire Osmond family.

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.

This post was affected by P.I.M.P. (Snoop Dogg Remix) from the album P.I.M.P. (New Version) by 50 Cent

Pre-Hyptnotized Peter


What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This post was influenced by Why Does This Always Happen to Me? from the album Poodle Hat by "Weird Al" Yankovic & Ben Folds

That's right folks, I am the big Three Five today!!!! 35 years old. I have no major plans or anything, just a restful evening at home.

Pat Tillman quit the NFL in May of 2002 to enlist in the Army. This is a man who turned down a $3.6 million dollar contract with the Arizona Cardinals to oblige what he felt was a duty to his country. He joined as an enlisted man in the Army and went to Afghanistan as an Army Ranger.

Whether you agree with the actions our military has taken in Afghanistan or not, this man did something selfless when he had every opportunity to not only avoid it but to live the life of an NFL star. My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family. He is a true hero and should be recognized as such.

Related Link: ESPN - Tillman Killed while Serving as Army Ranger

Should I die unexpectedly someday please make sure someone knows to play this song at my funeral. It is from the album Whisper Tames the Lion by Drivin N' Cryin.
Check Your Tears by Drivin N' Cryin

All my friends are crying, but do they cry for me?
For I'm standing at the pearly gates,
With centuries ahead of me
Don't cry for me I'm happy, I'm finally back home
I talked to Houdini yesterday
And my father's father's mom
Oh I'm back home, so check your tears at the door
Oh I'm back home, so check your..
The morning in the morning, sulking in the afternoon
Just pick up your head and laugh so hard
It echoes around the globe
'Cause I'm not coming back, but someday you'll be here
So I'll just wait as they waited for me
And we'll sing that song and cheer
Oh I'm back home, so check your tears at the door
Oh I'm back home, so check your...
It's the little things that I remember best
Not the holidays or the ways in the days
that you walked by my door
But sitting in front of the tv holding hands
Sitting in the kitchen making all of our plans
Whoa...Whoa...Whoa...
I've got so much to learn here
Don't worry about me I'm fine
Just check your tears at the door
When you leave, and get on with your life
Oh I'm back home, so check your tears at the door
Oh I'm back home, so check your tears at the door
Stop tugging on my soul, and check your....
Tears at
the door.........

Well, this last week has been eventful. I finally signed my divorce papers only to find out that the lawyer screwed up and we have to sign them all over again. On top of that, the dog that I got for my 21st birthday present, Ozzy the Australian Shepherd has tumors on his tongue and throat and my mom is going to have to put him down tomorrow. Furthermore, our family pet that we got when I was 18, Ashley(mutt) fell in my mom's swimming pool and drowned last night. Ashley was a sweet and playful dog that's one mission in life was to please my mom. She will be missed but we had 16 years with her and it was time for her to go. Ozzy on the other hand, played the role of protector. He would fight to the death to protect the members of my family. He was kind and gentle with us but fierce and powerful to anyone that he didn't trust. He could smell fear like no other animal I have ever seen. He was smart and willing to learn and please. All he ever wanted in return was for someone to rub his hips(he had hip joint dysplacia) and give him an occasional 2 liter bottle that had been filled with water and frozen to cool him during the hottest parts of a Southern Summer.. When he was a pup, I would play with him for hours and teach him tricks. He had such a long attention span that we could train for hours without having to take a break, I had never seen a dog with that kind of attention and I haven't seen one since. Ozzy is 14 and today is the last day of his life. I hope it is as easy on him as it can be under the circumstances. He was a faithful dog with a willpower like I have never seen and I know he has lived a good life.

I got this little gem from the guys at The Agitator.com. I laughed myself silly when I read it. Check it out here!!

This post was influenced by Somebody Led Me Away from the album The Virginian by Neko Case & Her Boyfriends

I like the way this guy thinks. I have good friends that are fans of Japanese Animation. I personally find that I don't connect with it. Even the darkest of the flicks seems to require high levels of estrogen to enjoy and I just don't have that. So why are fans of Japanese Animation so anal retentive about calling it Anime? I won't say much more because I believe the article I linked to covers the topic thoroughly.

Mr. Pitiful from the album The Ultimate Otis Redding by Otis Redding

Well folks, I am seriously considering dropping out of the blogosphere. I haven't written much lately anyway. Between the comment spammers and other events, I have lost the desire to write. I sit in front of my computer for hours to try and write something that I think is reader worthy but for some reason I have lost it. The divorce and other circumstances surrounding it are taking their toll on me. I have lost most of my creative energy. I don't practice my music like I should, I don't write like I should and I haven't shot anything worth publishing on video or stills in months now. Having a creative outlet has always been an important part of my life and it is really frustrating to see it all disapear.

I think part of my problem is coming from the fact that despite all of the problems and frustrations of the world, I was always able to find beauty of some form because I could always find at least 1 beautiful thing and that was the bond created by my marriage. Sure we had our share of troubles and had some communication barriers but it was unique, it was stable and it would always be there(or so I thought). Now, the one thing I was able to draw strength from, the only constant in my life, my sure thing, my one true achievement is all but a fading vapor. It was ripped from me, it was taken, I had no say into what happened. Suddenly, the world is not as beautiful as it once was. I have no desire, no motivation, no reason for being.

Everyone says time will make all this go away but right now I feel as though time is standing still. I can't go back and I am too stunned to move forward. After spending 10 years with someone, sharing goals, dreams, triumphs and failures, it seems so overwhelming to try and shake it off and create new goals, new dreams. Victories turn into mundane instances without someone to share them with. Failures are much more painful with no one there to comfort you.

I hope I can shake this soon. Right now my life revolves around work and sleep. Nothing excites me, nothing motivates me. My sense of humor was always one of my greatest assets and it too is now gone. I feel like an empty Oyster Shell, relieved that the iritation of the sand is gone but longing for the lost pearl. I feel empty, spent and I don't know where to find the inspiration to do anything.

I hate getting divorced. The shock has now worn off and I am dealing with profound sadness, loss, anger and one single question tortures my weary mind, "Why?". I am so preoccupied and rattled from this turn of events that I forgot to put socks on today. Not only did I forget to put on socks but I couldn't figure out why my feet felt like they were sticking to the soles of my shoes. No one will give me the details of why this is happening. I am the type of person that finds it hard to accept things until I am able to understand the ENTIRE set of circumstances surrounding the situation. No one involved will do me the justice of explaining the situation to me in anything more than sappy cliche's and general statements.

It is also strange for me. I don't miss the things thatI thought I would miss. It isn't her cooking or the way she kept the house just so. It isn't the fact that she ran almost all of the errands that I miss so badly that I still break down and cry without warning. I miss sharing my life with her. I miss helping her solve the problems that her day brought her. I miss telling her about the new song I heard on the radio. I miss waking up and finding her nose inches from mine. I miss being there to protect her. I miss being able to watch her play with the dog. I miss our quiet moments togetther. I miss scratching her back when she itched. I miss being the one person that would always be in her corner.

I miss her getting mad at me for singing loudly. I miss going out with her and seeing her accross a crowded room and thinking how lucky I was to be married to her and the pride that came with that feeling.

The problem is, I never told her how much I loved these things. I too often got caught up in the moment and took her for granted. Guys, make sure that you let your wife know, in action and in voice, what they mean to you or someone will come along and take them from you.

No one wants to have to live with the turn that life has dealt me because of my oversight.

Susan, I am so sorry that I didn't know how to express the feelings I have for you. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve.