| and could i fall in grace with your misconceptions |
[19 Apr 2003|12:03pm] |
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finger 11 |
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humm humm humm im at beckys yey wewent to shanes ysterday at first it was boring then it got beter i was falling asleep on shane which was fine with me heh i could ave used the sleep... tomorrow i wont see becky so i hope to see her monday ......... humm i<3 becky she is a good friend i dont have much to say tho
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| in and out in broken heart in a fire we die tonight |
[14 Apr 2003|09:25am] |
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that song sex and candy |
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i always think of fucked up titles for my journal heheh i love it heh mat and i are broken up ohhhhhh well heheh spring break is nice just need to find some people to hang out with becky is over i believe she is stay the night again but hey when she not heheh she is sleep right now and im thinking about take a shower so im going to leave you all now byes and i want to change the backround to my computer heh
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| do you see the happiness when i scream ? |
[22 Mar 2003|01:53pm] |
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happy |
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i have really only one thing to say ... i love Mat..... !!!!
yetserday i slept over katy's with Becky i love them i was going to
hang out with mat but he hung out with his friends but he emailed me
and every thing is really good with us i really care for him heh .....
ahh whats happening to me im letting myself really care for some one when i
know they can break me in any moment :) yesterday i broke down on the way
to chris's i was just thinking and that could have killed me heh well not really
but i was thinking and i felt alone very alone like more than i have lately but
im ok im happy today caitlin might come over i hope so becky is going to a party
and kevin is talking to me i think i really pissed him off and im super sorry that i did
but i have to go now byes :) >Hey my name is kyle Im a female from NY i like the band rancid
i play the bass i like fish and aother animals i like to ask a lot of
questions to myself knowing i wont be able to answer them until i
know myself better ....... i guess thats all i can say add me if you
like and i'll add you back
ok bye byes :) <3
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| "Out damn spot out who would ever think the king had so much blood ?" |
[26 Feb 2003|11:12am] |
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mat is looking at a paper |
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Macbeth lovely .....?????? I think not or maybe so... I don't know if it has a nice quote not like Much ado about nothing (underlined) "i lose more blood with love than i do with drinking" Shakespeare had many good quotes but nothing like Edgar Allan Poe... i just signed up for some classes next year alot of art and english classes hope they work out :) hehe becky and kevin came over yesterday that was weird we talked about ex people and yeah and kevin is getting annoyed with katy and becky and i talked about her male prob thats going on hummm mat is coming over after school today yey :) heheh tells much more to tell there but we wont get into it hehe so then i think i am off i just needed to update to make sure every one knew i was still alive oh yeah sunday was my bday hehe wooo im getting old now heheh didnt get much from mum or da and casey hasnt even said any thing to me yet grrr stupid brother
:)
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| what is my name to you why must you have my name |
[14 Feb 2003|07:42pm] |
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Rancid - ghetto box |
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im so cold. i dont really have much to say heh what else is new jeff came over last night i hope he falls down a nice big well for this moment in time humm noone called me today becky slept over last night i got two new holes in my ears woooooo well that much is true ok then well im going to go
g'night
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| in all the words that werent spoken this is the most important |
[29 Jan 2003|07:53am] |
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This is to some one who doesnt under stand me and i dont under stand that some one :
you were so different from every one else you didnt hit me or yell at me and i knew i was going to screw every thing up i knew i was from the start but i still let myyself be around you i still let it happen i was stupid ... you dont understand that . you say we talk more now then we did before you say we get along better now than before but i think thats bullshit i want to be your friend but your making it so fucking hard you told some one i was better than any one else you were with was that a lie to make me feel good i thought of you this morning and you... i know you dont think of me EVER so i give up and you win
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| tell me im free scream to that im free |
[17 Jan 2003|11:50am] |
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the sounds of school |
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so i make him depressed ... that i dont act like myself ahh what does it matter ??? im in my own slum to care much about stuff ... i just feel sick. im going to write a poem .....
He walks around
with a confused look
on his face
he makes me sick
i see him in every one elses face
i need to get out of this place
she has a smile on her lips
acts like the devil
to get in bed with him
the world around me is a whore
i run around and around
but i get nowhere
the girls are sluts and the boys are whores
fuck the world ,fuck all that i use to stand for
i see no meaning in your eyes
is there any thing that lives inside
i hate who you are and who you want to be but
most of all i hate me ....
yeah thats my poem lovely isnt it ? i dont like the people in my school i only really like a few people. i think that poem i just wrote really says every thing about me ..... im sorry im write such depressed crap i dont mean it im just not in the mood lately im going to go to a web site now so im going to go byes
-ette
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| angry words break your love no more feelings in our lifes |
[16 Jan 2003|11:05am] |
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music |
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my teacher is talking |
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lately i have ben hanging out with kevin and katy...any way hanging out with kevin and katy is most phun... last night we had pizza at katy's and then we talked about lindsey and drugs and beer and crap on that line and i felt sick after talking about drinking.... tomorrow im hanging out with jeff maybe ahhh oh well or if not i might hang out with nicole and stuff or not it works tho in some way it works.... i haven't been up to much writing in my journal and i diff dont feel like myself ... i wrote two new poems which i am proud to say i am most happy with and shane thinks thye are the best that i have read to him in a while.... i saw Matt.S. today :) heh heh i missed that boy last year he was in mine and becky's study hall and he would put stuff down his nose and bring it out of his mouth heheh :) i loved it and plus we couold always talk about music.... im sick of my lunch table tho like coxy and lindsey... coxy always saying she's fat well she must be then she must be bigger than my house (sorry if i made any one mad by this b/c i dont really think you should care how some one looks by weight...) And Lindsey with her drugs. I'm fine with some of my friends doing drugs b/c they arent stupid after they have done it well i'll take that back b/c drugs are stupid but what i mean is they dont act like freaking retards ( sorry for that also ,i dont want to sound mean) but she has smoked herself retarded , to put it lightly. my bday is next month yey Happy bday to me!!!!! hummmm maybe this year i will have another party humm then i get to get a new fish tank woooo i got onoe for xmas from my brother but it doesnt have the crap i need for it. I need a job! but i think im done with writing in you i needed to let people i was still alive.
Oh yeah Adam if you read this please write me a post thanks hunnie
<3 kylette
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| the lost of the love of the light of your eyes |
[07 Jan 2003|11:25am] |
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music |
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my tripp making stupid sounds in his class room !!!! |
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fa la la la "if you were bleeding in her shoe you could swimming in it" "if some one dumped pop on you then people could drink you" "are we fighting , wanna make out ?" "why didn't we do that when we were going out ?" "hi this is katy moodonnnaa aka nessa i wanna floss my teeth with a jump rope..." any way my lines of stupid person for one day heh
miss katy kosteris giving me my soda pop right now humm just wanted to update and say all was well .... so... all is well heheh meow i guess
-ette
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| how hard can i be with you ? |
[02 Jan 2003|11:11am] |
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andrew was talking |
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make a wish its 11:11 hummmmmmm im upset with jeff i know i shouldnt be but i am ..........
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| if all the love and hate came into one it would be an even more ugly color |
[12 Dec 2002|06:33pm] |
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some thing is on the tv |
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i cant wait until next year im getting the fuck out of this damn fucking house (sorry for the words but im so pissed)my dad flips shit over nothing my mum said i could go over to nicoles then she said i couldnt that bitch and my dad oh my fucking dad thinks that i say some thing to nicole that im fucking talking back i wasnt even talking to him i cant take this shit any more this crap with jeff this crap with my mum and dad the crap with the people at school the fact that next year half my friends will be gone I just want to take a fucking razor balde and cut every fucking thing i see and the shit i feel take all that shit down be done away with it im done im siuck of it im sick of jeff too i dont give a fuck any more about what goes on with him and me any more im sick of trying its fucking bullshit the way he gives me the run around im not going to stay with the crap any longer with him it hurts me to much and makes me to fucking pissed off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my dad he can go smoke himself fucking stupid i hope he gets so fucking hate he fucks every thing up for himself and it wont be my fault If my fucking dad doesnt like then fine its no loss to me any way who is the stoner here (NOT ME NOT ME) Im not 40 some thing years old about to be 50 getting stoned off my ass who plays guitar and sucks at it im nto trying to be some thing im fucking not.......... and i dont make fucking people up my dad diff has some fucking mental probs going on with him and most diff if he thinks i have some thing wrong so FUCK HIM and any way next year im moving out !!!!!!! and its going to be so much better than being here (believe me)
good night
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| she falls |
[08 Dec 2002|07:12pm] |
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I have been thinking lately i just want every thing to end and be put away with i mean all this useless crap i dont need i have better more important things to be thinnking about not all this crap with jeff and people at school and every thing else that has been happening and all this stuff with venessa and how she wants to be my friend again and try to break my friendship with kevin she did that to kevin and me when they were going out now she is trying to toy with my mind but i am smarter than her and not going to let her get away with this crap
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| just let it be dont be mad just kill it away |
[21 Nov 2002|11:46am] |
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the people are talking about killing animals |
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i fucking hate every thing and jeff isnt making any thing happy for me grrrrrrrrr screw every thing i know this isnt the way i should make things better but im getting so sick of fucking BUFFALO and Hamburg and where ever close to me in NY grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr FUCK IT i give up !!!!!!!! i just need out of this place i need out so bad i have to get out
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| all i want to do is sleep and wash away this feeling |
[09 Nov 2002|04:24pm] |
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mood |
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is it like me to be hurt ? |
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music |
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the tv is on but no one is watching it |
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i just want to scream i need a new way to let all of my stupid emotions out i cant cry any more i cant write poems i cant do that stuff any more its not working
HUmmm this is from robs profile hummmmm (i want to take the bullet, the one aimed straight for your heart. i want to meet the wolves halfway and let them tear me apart. but that's not the way they do it here. i want to lay on the tracks, feel hot steel screaming at me. expose the bones on my back, let me show you what i mean. yeah, it's a different kind of love. i want to climb barbed wire fences and warm our hands in blood. and this is my gift is asking you to fix my ruined hands. and it's a gift that keeps on giving, and right now it's all i have to give. i want to write the perfect song, and play it just for you, while you were tangled up in sleep. i need you more than i'll ever know. unitl i stop breaking , my lungs will take you for granted.
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| today is the day of the last day i will seep into your skin |
[04 Nov 2002|12:27pm] |
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in my own bubble |
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music |
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the lmc |
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hummm all is well in love land with jeff and me.... i wish iu could say some of the things going on in my head to people but i really cant... but im greeneyed for people whos mum are close with them my mum and me have no relationship at all i mean she has no idea what i like and what i dislike i trying talking to her and try getting along with her but it doesnt work and it drives me mad !!!!! some times i just want to break some thing..... the othewr day we were driving and when ever i talk to her shbe acts like she cant hear me so she doesnt have to answer me... i cant take it i have never needed her help ... Really i have not but she stated that i need her and my da more than they need me and that they never needed me... how can she say that to me and how can you dislike the person who gave you life who gave you a home in this world...??? so many questions that she cant answer and that she wont im tired of fighting with her im tired of trying to get soemn thing out of the crap i deal with her ... im going now g-day
<3 Kylette
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| why dont you help me out when i ask for it |
[27 Oct 2002|06:59pm] |
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in my own world |
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some times my thoughts go back to last year and the things i have done i wish i could do them again some times i just feel like breaking ... some times i wish we were made of glass for when we really get hurt we would have some cracks then when we are at our last string we would break
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| the longer cry need for your help |
[22 Oct 2002|11:31am] |
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my teacher is talking i think oh well |
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ok every one i need your help ... im much of a worrie wart when it comes to some things ...jeff has been seeming distant to me yesterday and today ...yesterday he was really tired tho but in school he only gave me one hug and wouldnt stand 2 secs with me while i talked to some one ... jeff isnt much of a talker (well on the phone he is) but i dont know if maybe b/c of his after school sports or if its just me ...last night on the phone we talked and he said every thing was good with us and that he liked me alot ... then he fell asleep on the phone ... but today he seems it too but he looks so tired asnd sick..... so am i just being a worrie wart or could there be some thing wrong im really confused and worrie SO PLEASE EVERY ONE POST THANK YOU
kylette
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| Hamburg Driver Education class room instruction |
[19 Oct 2002|12:37pm] |
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the tv is on |
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Humm yesterday i went to jeff's are school then we walked to good will then to k-mart to watch him and this kid scott eat then we walked back to jeff's and sat in his room and looked at the stuff in my backpack jeff read some thing i didnt want him to read but i guess things are ok b/c when i got home i called him (he wasnt hom but he called me back) and we talked the paper didn't say any thing bad just stuff i guess hummm..... today im going to a bday party maybe then after that im going to hang out with people at 11:45 pm i think ahh who knows what time hehe but i believe becky will be there ... her and i have grown so close this year and last well i think so humm i think this is the longest entry in the past 2 months (cute!!!) humm its all gray and rainy today [<3 humm :)] well i think im going to go i have to see if any one called me so byebyes any one post if you wish (please do!!!!!)
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| life long auto shut off |
[16 Oct 2002|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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nervous |
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music |
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my aim is making sounds |
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so jeff and me are going out hummmm what more can be said
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| hummm |
[04 Oct 2002|11:22am] |
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mood |
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music |
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mr. tripp is talking blahhhhhhhhh |
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i want to go home oh yeah some major thoughts have been swelling in my head hummmmmmm
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