The Wayback Machine - http://web.archive.org/web/20030419065321/http://www.livejournal.com:80/users/bittersweetmeee/
sniiizow   
02:12am 07/02/2003
  it snowed today.


where are mah bitches?

that is all.
 
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it's been a while.   
11:16pm 14/05/2002
 
mood: happy
music: finch
ok ok its been a while since i wrote... so basically i met greg.. well i knew him but never really hung out.. anyway we had a freakin great time in wildwood chasing all the flag girls and band people ( it was a highschool band and color guard convention) and other than that josh's show was fuckin awsome. they did so good. ppl in the crowed were getting into it and i was so proud i cried. i do that sometimes when i'm happy for my brother because i knew he's happy. and the best part about the whole greg thing is that josh really likes him. he approves. well he's really protective of me and if somone fucks with me he gets pretty pissy. but greg and him are boys and josh is happy i like him. so that's all good.

this morning i woke up and my last goldfish .. rufio.. was dead.. i was pretty damn sad. i mean i atleast wanted one of the 8 fish to live.. but nooooooo, had to go to school thinking about my dead fish. anyway then i went to the drs then work... b/c of this shit weahter i had one table.. i made 4 bucks... big let down after the 90 made on friday... do these people konw how broke i am? and for some reason i havent gotten my actual check yet and i kinda dont wanna ask conisdering it's a new job and i feel stupid like.. heeeeey where's my check. and tonight i had to hug the big bald sweaty guy john in exchange for a ciggerette. i felt raped. but i was also broke and out of ciggs. so i hugged the guy then made him sweep the floor for me b/c i just dont give hugs out to any big sweaty bald guys. so they let me out early considering my lack of customers and i went to gregs. he actually m akes me happy and it's been a long time since i've actually been with somone who is great. we just laugh like hardcore at everything. the most inappropriate moments me and him are laughing. and we were with his friend vince and he kept tyring to play the piano and it was pretty funny. god i have so much fun with that kid. and so i was talking to his parents and his mom told me i could have her beta fish b/c mine died and she felt bad. ha ha i got a boy and a fish now. and she said i could name him . so great soooooo freakin great. i deserve this for once.

and i think the only gayness that has gone on is the corny people that came home from college and are allready starting shit with highschool people. grow the fuck up. god it gets me so pissed off that people can go away for a year and still find time to hold old gruges. whatever. fuck off.
 
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mcdougle casey and anna are all mad they arent in a magazine   
11:18pm 30/04/2002
  ummm... i like how dashboard was in teen people a few months ago.. and today i get my magazine that my grandparents still buy for me... and the 25 hottest under 25 say.... HOTTEST BOY BAND... SAVES THE DAY!! yep that's rite boy band. now i think that would make anyone laugh.

i'm sorry blink makes money.




fuck off.
 
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all dogs go to heaven   
11:06pm 30/04/2002
 
mood: confused
music: finch
just got home from work... made $34 tonight... pretty good if u ask me.. i smell like a big pizza. my boss bought me an ice cream sandwich then yelled at me for eating it?!?! i was confused. i still havent tried the pizza... in the pizza place in which i work. im not sure if i'm allowed to eat the food exspecially after i got yelled at for eating my ice cream sandwich. but whatever the job is great i dont have to do anything. and i dont get hit on by spaniards... just large black men. i guess it's just a price u have to pay for working in a pizza place.

any way HE was gay again tonight. HE keeps pissing me off and confusing me. one minute HE likes me the next minute HE's being stupid. i dont know. then HE appolgizes for being stuipd... but sitll worries about what SHE thinks. and i'm beginning to think SHE dosent like me beccause i like HIM... BOYS ARE HELL! guys please come with instructions on how to read y our minds... b/c i sure as hell dont get one fucking thing you do!

besides all that i cant wait till this weekend. i'm running away to wildwood and bringing a few friends along... fun fun FUN! sike now that i'm excited about it... it's gonna suck. DAMMIT!


fuck off.
 
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and when surveys are the highlight of your night... your life is sad   
11:20pm 24/04/2002
 
mood: amused
music: blink... duh.
Lyrics Survey!!!
To do this survey, you must answer all of them using ONLY lyrics from ONE band or singer. Have fun!!

Answers to the lyrics of: *blink 182*

1. Are you male or female?

*she didn't mean to decieve you believe me*

2. Describe yourself:

*i laughed the loudest who'd have known?*
*and then i saw her standing there with green eyes and long blonde hair*

3. How do they feel about you?

*Shes a dove, shes a fuckin nightmare Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here On the go and its way too late to play *


4. How do you feel about yourself?

*The good intentions that you had Now only came to this And although she saw the mark The arrow missed *


5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?

*he's got jet black hair and blue-green eyes and he's mine and every now and then, he and I would sit together on the porch *

6. What would you rather be doing?

*things started getting weird as they started to kiss*

7. Describe where you live.

*The night I spent in jail sucked*

8. Describe how you love.

*My mind wanders as I'm trying not to fall in love with you 'Cause every time I awake I ponder on my mistakes of What I said, it is always my esteen that I sure lose *


9. Share a few words of wisdom.

*Why leave when you claim it is love? But why stay when you're not the only one? *




*~*jeNa*~*
 
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instead of forgetting her, your always kissing her ass   
09:59pm 24/04/2002
 
mood: annoyed
music: the movie life & don't look down
converstaion started out with...
me: sing to me
him: when your by yourself
me: sing to me you promised
him: ok i will

..... ended with

him: some people might get mad
me: who
him: her
me: should i stop liking you then?
him: i can't tell u that.. that's your decision
me: hmm : /
him: we'll talk about it later
me: yah, ok

FUCK ALL BOYS AND THEIR GAYNESS.
YOU SPECIECS PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!!!!!!!!!! YOUR CONFUSING AND ANNOYING AND YOU GO FROM ONE EXTREAM TO THE NEXT... STICK WITH ONE FUCKING FEELING FOR MORE THAN 2 MINUTES!

i seem to get myself into these situations.. i put myself into a postiion where i can get hurt before there's even a reason to be hurt over. and i don't know why. i dont get what i do that's so wrong. and then i'm told i have what i want rite infront of my face.. but if it's what i really wanted wouldn't i allready know it?

whatever fuck off!!!!!!
 
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as perfect as you as perfect as you   
03:55am 14/04/2002
 
mood: pissed off
music: rufiooooo...
first of all why do people talk shit and lie about it... grow the fuck up pussies say shit to somones face... good god why do people concern their selves with other peoples lives... get the fuck over everything! anywayyyyyy... having an immature moment.. everyone is entitled to them.. ok i'd like to thank amanda for coming up to me in the hallway and comforting me when i was pissed at the world exspecially ORDOG.. and all upset and sick and she helpd.. but then the fucking garretantor had to bitch b/c "if your sick you shouldn't stop in the hallway to socialize" bitch should get punched in the face... ok so we went to a gay bordentown show... i mean one good reason was pretty fun and so was 37 slurp and i had a fun time with my friends.. but the skanking amongst small children had to stop . th;en we all went to matt's house and just chilled... and it was nice.. i layed with dan :) which made me happy.. and i deserve that... and we just layed there and laughed and looked at eachother... and it just made me smile... well on a stupider note.. worked sucked tonight 20 somthing in tips.. .on a saturday nite is horrible.. and i had to stay late... then we went to denny's that was fun.. then i went to some stupid party in springfield with deanna.. and tj was there.. and he was drunk as hell.. so he had to confess his undying love for me.. which ended witha "fuck you jena" and a "fuck you too tj you fucking dick!" i hate when he drinks and rambels on.. and touches my face or my hair or ... ME... i don't need that and i don't need to be put thru that... and it sucks.. but it will never work between us again. so whatever and in a rage i pulled away and screamed at deanna the whole way home just because she was there while i had to vent. but that's about it.. and i'm soo tired.. and pissed.. this nite has sucked.. and i didn't even get to see the one person that's made me smile in the past weeks. dammit... dammit... DAMMIT!

BED.. fuck off
 
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i can take you away from here   
07:54pm 11/04/2002
 
mood: discontent
music: FRIENDS IS ON BIIIIITCH.
why when u can't have somthing do you want it sooo much more? or when you loose somthing and it comes back to you... you don't want it? i can't play these in and out of my life games anymore. it hurt too bad the first time. soo much time wasted, and it got me nowhere. then when it's ok for you to want me back.. i'm all supposed to be happy. you imply that my life will be so much better with you in it... but then tell me how different i am. Why am i differnt? i still dress the same way.. i still have the same friends give or take a few... but then you tell me i don't have a personality anymore. could it have somthinig to do with YOU NEVER SEE ME. and when you do i don't want to act like myself arround you. because i don't know you anymore. one minute you hate me.. and blame me for all this pain i caused you. as if i wasn't caused any either. then you get mad because i don't want to deal with that! because i've grown up in the past year and a half and realized yes we could have had somthing extreamly great but i have to move on. i can't do this to myself anymore and i don't think you should either. were two differnt people now and niether of us know eachother. i think i've found somone.. i hope i did and i'm doing things differnt this time. i don't know if it will work but it's worth a shot. and maybe if we were ment to be we will be, but for now it wasn't. and if it was you would have been with me on new years eve. and i would have been with you.


out... fuck off.
 
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ferris bueler is kick ass   
11:09pm 09/04/2002
 
mood: sick
music: simple plan, unwritten law, ferris buler's day off!!
ok so i haven't writtin in quite a while... pretty much because i got bored of the ol' lj... anyway, spring break is over.. .and so is my sickness.. or so i thought till i got a fever last nite ... my body was like "bam! no jena, ur never going to feel better," and i'm llike "well ok body then screw you!" and my body was like "well if that's how you feel then find bam! now ur getting a sore throat"... which i thought with the lack of tonsils is not supposed to happen anymore... but i guess the doctors just wanted to trick me... stupid bastards. spring break was kinda fun tho.... there were a few prince trips... a nice car ketchuping... a intimate gathering amongst friends at my house... and stupid people showed up... damn sluts.. anway.. that ntie was fun as hell tho, if you never saw niver do an impression of ET then your missing out on life... oh and that nite i got in this great fight with kristen... i like how i know exactly how she feels about me.. dumb bitch didn't even know i wasnt' the one talking to her on the computer... while she imd me with 27 messages .(while i had an away message up) i was gettin my drink on... more fun that way. then dan got grounded... then there was an allnighter at southstreet... drew and his mangled arms... kyle thought he was ozzy.. and god dammit i can do shakeria like the best of them... then spring break was over... so sad so sad... but there was a nice trip to sea side with my favorite boys.. joshua, chris paul and dan! aww i had so much fun.. well i like how i don't have any exciting drama to write about in this thing... no deep thoughts on life... humm.. ponder this... why did the chicken cross the road? eh eh? how bout that one!... alrite in life i'm tired.. so i'm out so fuck off! :)
 
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say it like u mean it   
01:51pm 28/03/2002
 
mood: giggly
music: my Poppop is watcin CNN... funny old man! :)
yesterday i went to my brother's band practice... and bam! they surprised me. they're actually really good... and josh has gotten so good on the bass i can't belive it... but i had so much fun. me and kyle lutz just sat there makeing fun of eachother the entire time!... i kept dropping things on the floor trying to make him pick hit up.( he wears a brace and cant bend over) so he kept screaming "d's their d's!!!) and i was gettin so pissy, but crackin up! the best line was "jena can't see her toes" and i was like (yah but if i throw the suckers out of the way i can touch them!" aw it was beautiful. and so then he would make fun of me when josh or chris or paul would scream or yell, and he said "jena why don't u try that" (b/c i can't talk real loud yet ) and well, dan dosen't say that much.. aww he's shy :) and we were sayin kyle could be the BRACEIST.. instead of bassist, lol get it. and i was plyin the drums on his brace it was great .so then we were goin to the fountian of life easter play b/c seirra was in it... and it was me kyle and mandy woodward, then we had to pick up dan from township and this kid greg we enver met before.. so the entire time me and kyle wer still goin at our little fight.. brace vs boobs... we think we scared greg. so were at the play and when everyone would clap i would bang his brace... it was a great time... well i'm off to be tutored by spivac.. if he ever gets here.. then goin to josh's band practice with brooke. woohoo! lol i just had to write all this b/c it was so funny, to me anyways... well i'm waitin for the spivemiester to arrive... i'm out so fuck off!
 
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crank the music loud and say goodbye   
03:36am 27/03/2002
 
mood: contemplative
music: glue and gliter ~ *ultimate fake book*
She said, she said
"You're the only one who knew what time it was"
I said, I said
"Time is always fun when you don't notice it" ~ ultimate fakebook, soaked in cinnamin


hummm, that's kinda tru.. like think about it, when your a kid, you play all day long, and it seems like you were only outside for an hour, or you don't stop having fun till you mom tells you to be home. or your having a great time at a party, till you realize your past your curfew, but the thing is your having a great time. so can you have a time? isn't that odd... you can have a good time, or a bad time, but can you have a 7 oclock time? but isn't time 7 oclock.. .god i'm getting confused. anyway i was having a good day, till my mom brought up the fact that tonight a year ago, my dad left.. just got up and left.

and it's weird in a way. it's weird that one day can make me so mad.. but why can't i be mad tomarrow or somthing and get to enjoy today? and would i have even of been sad unless my mom brought it up? probably not anymore screwd up then i usually am. but isn't it like that with everything?

you don't really think about being lonely, untill it's christmas... you don't want a realationship untill valentines day... but if febuary 14th wasn't so made up to be a holiday of "love" then would you just happen to feel lonely on febuary 14th? why not febuary 2.. go for the groundhog. .. i'd rather feel lonely with the uplifting thought tht the groundhog is gonna come out and visit... sometimes he dosen't but you can hope rite?... but is life just a few days in which were supposed to remeber, a few days that change the course of our future. just a couple of days that stick out in our minds... and the rest of them just fill in void space to make the other days more important. and untill you remember that day, u live your life normally, but one day can make you happy, one day can make you sad... you have a birthday, a first day of school, a first kiss, a first boyfriend, a first dance, a first prom, a first graduation, first time on your own, first day of college, first day of the rest of your adult life, where in most cases you have a wedding, and then you have a child who's life is repeating the same pattern set out for everyone... those few days with some others inbetween, the first time you embarassed yourself, your first break up, your first fight, your parents divorcing.. it's really odd if you think about it... anyway, if i could choose, i think that groundhogs day should be celebrated more. people should appricate poxatony.. i can't even spell his name, but he is one great groundhog. they did make a movie in his honor.... that's all i'm out fuck off.
 
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to clarify   
05:13pm 23/03/2002
 
mood: awake
music: that thing you do... it's on tv
i forgot BRANDON JOHNSON IS ONE COOL FUCKER!... umm he's allowed to go away to school and come back b/c we have to represent downton flotown like a couple of white mainiacs. and also my brooke, altho she's young, she's not stupid and therefor a great girl.yep that's about all... i'm out fuck off.
 
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and the hot chocolate stands alone   
02:18am 23/03/2002
 
mood: tired
music: watching LOSER.. the song teenage dirtbag just played.
went to prince tonight... big step up for me. i have ventured out into the world of the living. still can't talk tho, well i guess i can talk persay... like speaking... but it sounds funny. sort of like i'm deaf... so i'm sticking to whispering. anyway went to prince... saw shawn and nikki... havent seen shawn in a looong time. weird. i used to hang out with shawn alot. it was fun, now he's different... i'm beginning to think everyone that goes away to college comes back differnt... and i'm not seeing many that change for the better other than the fact that they've gotten out of florence...well besides ryan, he's still great. and i'm thinkin everyone that stays and goes to bcc... stays "florence" . can you stay a town? humm, now that there is a quesiton to ponder in life. i guess you can tho. not stay a town persay, but you stay like your highschool, you get out of it, but you don't change all that much... and it's not all that bad i don't think. it's just some people think they can relive their lives thru those that are still in highschool.. cough cough... and then there are those that hang out with us still higchool people, and know that they have gotten out of the school and moved on in life, and to those i congratulate you, to the rest... learn that not every kid in highschool can be your ticket to the cool parties, because there arent any cool parties, and the we also can't be your little brothers and sisters till you get married. and then there's the people that are in highschool that can't wait to grow up. like WTF?!?>!?!?!? how many little girls are haning out with pople like 6 years older than them. god i felt cool when i was a freshman b/c a junior talked to me, not b/c some college drop out came to a highschool party and hit on me. and how many of the little ones have to change how they dresss or talk or thier on morals for the sake of fitting in... the middle school children are haning out with highschool people when their in like 6th grade... now theres an exception for a few with older siblings, and the few that look like their older than their siblings... example... MY BROTHER... and he's fuckin cool and one of my best friends so hell he can hang out with us, but then there's these little ones that think they're so cool b/c they walk by the higschool cafetiera.... wait guys in a couple of years, mostly all of ur classes will be in the big kids part. so i'm thinkin my message is that higschool goes by pretty damn fast, enjoy what parts of it you can. .... GOD DAMN.. when did my night at prince turn into me preachinig to the youth of florence?!?!??!?!? fuck me i'm goin to bed!... i'm out fuck off~!
 
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my mom says i'm mello-dramatic   
12:48am 21/03/2002
 
mood: lethargic
music: rufio & the juliana theory & unwritten law
for being sick my mom bought me and josh tickets to see my boys... BLINK!!! and greenday! aww i'm so happy. aww how cute us pop punk kids are goin to see a pop punk band. lol why is everyone so corny?!?!? just dont give a fuck and shut the fuck up about who likes what, i personally think every group is a bunch of posers so i don't wanna hear it.... anyway i can't wait to go see them. they make me happy. who can't like a band that makes u laugh hardcore and just makes fools out of themselves? and it's cool b/c it's just me and josh goin. were gonna raise a ruckus! part of the GFYC... representin, funny funny. and dan will be there too! :) alrite now that the tickets are confirmed i'm really off to bed! fuck off!
 
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ENJOY YOUR EARLY RETIREMENT   
12:30am 21/03/2002
 
mood: lethargic
music: rufio & the juliana theory
well today i actually feel alive. i had 3 pieces of popcorn. BAM! how freakin great is that. and i'm talking. deanna came to see me today,ok so heres the tonsil story. the 13th~ take away my tonsils, i'm all knocked out and what not, in the pediatric ward, i only get channel 5 and 12, so i watched teenage mutant ninja turtles 1... yer damn rite!, anyway they wouldn't send me home b/c i was so sick and i wouldn't drink anything.
14th~ i get to go home, i'm sleepin like a baybe, chris schuster stopped by
15th~ i feel the pain, it's freakin horrible, steph and josh got me a balloon, josh's balloon said ENJOY YOUR EARLY RETIREMENT... he's such a dork. then me and steph and mare watched cinderella 2, ryan and matt scott stopped by. then i start itchen from my medicene, i'm alergic to codine, so matt josh and niver go to an all nite drug store and get me childrens benedryll, b/c i can't swallow pills
16th~ steph came over to watch a movie, she leaves i call josh at prince i'm cryin like a baybe b/c i'm in so much pain, he can't understand me... b/c i talk like a retard, another day without pain medcine so my mom comes home and i'm liek a little kid bc i won't swallow the pills, and i'm runnin away from her when she tried to give me the pills all chrushed up
17th~still no pain medicine... so bored, and crying that's all i've been doin
18th~ wake up in the morning and i spit up blood.. ew... go to the dr's that nite, he said my throat looked fine... well thanks doc, get some waterice, he gives me MORPHINE... beautiful drug. i fall asleep, wake up blood everywhere. i'm choking. get rushed to the emergency room. the dr puts some numbing stuff on my throat, feels great! tastes horrible. then they stick a tube down my throat... stop the bleeding. give me more morphine, and some benadryll, dr said i'm part of a small percentage of people that are alergic to narcotics... so i deal with the itching and keep taking morphine... it's a great medicine. i fall asleep.
19th~ poppop takes me to the dr's. he said i look fine and should start to feel better. took too much morphine and benadryll, sleep allll day, up all nite, had to watch the entire JACKSON FIVE movie on vh1.
today~ deanna came over, poppop brings a gallon of apple sauce, 30 snack packs, and he tries to feed me chicken... lol funny old man.

anyway that has been my tonsil expeirence, i don't care if anyone reads it, i just want to remember. it's been the most painfull thing ever. but i have a new love for morphine, i feel like i'm flying! but i started talking today, and hopefully i'll start to get all better. i want to go down the shore. that's rite my gparents got a lawyer and got out of selling the condo. i'm happy. oh and yesterday was my father's birthday... damn guess i just forgot! oh well. i'm gonna go try to sleep, i think. so whatever... fuck off.
 
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cough cough   
07:10pm 12/03/2002
 
mood: scared
music: friends is on. the theme song just played!!!
umm, tonsils come out tomarrow. i'm scared. oh nono no no no. well that's all so i'm out so fuck off.
 
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marky mark and the funky bunch   
12:17am 08/03/2002
 
mood: contemplative
music: wide eyes... the beautiful mistake
got in a fight with mark tonight. that kinda sucked. it was in the middle of prince. i was on the phone with him and we screamed at eachother alot. a whole lot. and i said stuff i shouldn't have and so did he. and i was so upset i didn't eat. me not eat... damn. but everything in life is cool now, and the nieghborhood. but i still DON'T like how my gparents sold the shore house and won't let me go down... fuckers. but they're buying a different place in north wildwood. so it's not that bad it's just still not my house. i'll get over it eventually. i think. oh well... i'm out fuck off.
 
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oh happy day   
01:11am 07/03/2002
 
mood: aggravated

I Will Burn to Death!.
During one of your well known sex romps with the local slut, you neglected to put out your cigarette, and set fire to your house. Thinking your whales and moans to be those of passion, no one bothered calling 911... your death was one of the most painful imaginable.. And you didn't even get to cum.
Find out how you will die, Take the Death Quiz now!



of course this would happen.
 
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when there's no place left to go, maybe that's when u will know   
12:43am 07/03/2002
 
mood: aggravated
music: freshman~ the verve pipe
my grandparents sold my shore house. it's like changing a peice of my life. i've gone down every summer. as a FAMILY a concept i don't know anymore. i cried. they just don't understand i actually had emotional attachment to that shore house. and what were just gonna go and sell it? i mean i didn't even get to go down one more time before we did. like thanks no more summers in wildwood for me!!! and i'm not being selfish, i know that their getting old and they would rather have a house somewhere else, and the money's getting to be too much for them.. it's just when i lost my house in 5th grade i was devistated, when my dad left it sucked... it's like it's a nother thing that was stable in my life is now gone... and i think i should punch everyone in the face because of it. and we made plans to go down this weekend, b/c i'm not gonna have a spring break thanks 2 the good old tonsils... so this was gonna be our spring break... and we made plans for the summer. i mean god no more beach.. i have to take a NORMAL FAMILY vacation next summer...... i've never had a normal family vacation in my life.. it was always jsut wanna go down the shore? ok. not he honey let's take the kids down the shore for a week.... no not in my house. dammit i hate change.. i'm not ready for change.. i hate when somthing in my life seems likes it's going to stay it leaves... and i can't excpet it.. or i don't know how........... i'm out so fuck off.
 
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07:10pm 04/03/2002
 
 
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