Last month marked the most visits ever to the site--by far--all while I was a lazy bum and posted a few ramblings, and that's all. Glenn has something to do with that, but he's linked to me before (thanks) and I didn't get such a steady flow of traffic.
So thanks, folks! Hope you enjoy the site even more when I actually write some stuff!
:-)

Kinda sick right now, but getting better. That's what's causing posting lag.
Anyway, I had Indian food, which I think the Bulgarian viruses are not used to, and I'm feeling much better.

One of the inevitably good-looking readers of this site has 'stopped by' Sofia for 6 months or so, working for an NGO, if I believe, for the betterment of teachers (the beer has blurred the exact explanation). The guy found it through Google.
Discovered that I'm #14 when googling Sofia, which does not qualify for a medal, but it's not bad.
I'm initially #5 when googling hot chicks in Sofia.
As you can guess, I've very little to talk about right now. Which is good, since I'm going to run a test with the Mexican food I brought over.

Just missed Petya, who left as I came in. She's back in the USA for an advanced degree. Good luck!

2 weeks in LA
Chinese: 1 time
Italian: 1 time (place recommended by Steven Furst)
Mexican: 5 times
Japanese: 2 times
"American": 5 times
Weight gained: 6 pounds

I guess it doesn't seem so much, once I put it that way.

I had been walking quite a bit, which had drawn some looks, since most people walking alone in LA are either having loud conversations with street signs or are really disturbed.
No matter. The point is that I walked to Blockbuster--after a scandalous row with a Shoulder Work Ahead sign--to rent some DVD's.
Avalon
Amelie Poulain
Kill Bill
and...Hellboy.
I aslo went to see King Arthur and Napoleon Dynamite.
I won't really review them, since a) I'm no good at it, and b) they've been out for some time now. Still, I must say:
Out of that quartet, Amelie is the clear winner. I thought it was great, with even the little things (like her picking up stones in the transitions) thought of. The story is dreamy and quirky, reflecting the lead's personality. And it's such a sweet movie...I had to beat myself up for liking it. I think I'll buy the DVD for Christmas.
Kill Bill...I dunno. I'd be more shocked if this director did something without the need for a massive expenditure of blood (I'd like to order some occasionally, Cinema Secrets!) and edgy dialogue. Fortunately, I expected To Be Shocked! At some point, I expected the show to stop for a moment, hear (or see) some d20's rolled, then the movie pick back up. Like that first scene in Cloak & Dagger, if you remember that movie.
Avalon was better, but really darn slow and had that foriegn "don't let them in on what's going on" story, but maybe I just don't understand nuance, or Eastern Eurpean acting...but I doubt it. I just don't get the director (didn't get his Ghost in the Shell, either). I liked the cinematography (it's a visual show, especially since you can't quite follow the plot) and thought that the vision of the Special A level was perfectly jarring (floored me--a shame you must witness the rest of movie to experience it).
Hellboy blew, and Arthur was so lame we started mocking it in the theatre, once we realized that it wasn't going to get any better.
Finally, Napoleon Dynamite. It's either genius (like Waiting for Guffman) or bizarre and stupid (like Waiting for Guffman). I thought it was good, once you realize it is supposed to be meandering and awkward. If you're a geek, definately go see it, as it will be affecting. And I'll buy this DVD also.

People are asking (well, one person), jkrank, what happened to your astute political commentary, you stud; it's essential, like water or kickboxing. Well, it has been a while. Right now, I am so unplugged, it's shameful.

For instance, I had to renew my driver's license the other day, since it has been expired for nearly a year [side note: after dealing Bulgarian bureaucracy, let it be stated here that I will never complain about the happily neutral, moderately efficient, clean and smoke-free environment of the CA DMV ever again].
I sat in one of the adequately comfortable chairs provided to the citizenry, and mused at a large framed picture by one of the offices in back:
"Boy, the boss must have a thing for Arnold Schwarzenegger."
Not until I put my feet behind the line and stared at the DMV's camera did it occur to me the real reason. I wonder if my embarrassment was caught on film. I guess I'll know in a week.

I've been acquiring the essentials for life in Bulgaria:

Tortillas will be bought at the very last moment (I wish the corn ones would survive a trip, but I shouldn't quibble). And I need to get some bubble wrap.
Once this is complete, I should start ratcheting up for the election.

This is the subject line of a few emails, so I'll get into it now.
I took the transporter back to Los Angeles and San Diego for the last week. Most of my time has been involved with driver's license, insurance, registration, taxes, and a wedding.
Although I have found time for Mexican food.
I'm also suspicious that some sort of terrible transporter malfunction has led to an alternate Jeff Rank, who lives in my former hometown of Corpus Christi, who is a goatee-wearing anti-Bush-placard-waving freak. He has a wife named Nicole. I do not. This alternate Jeff Rank is unemployed.

Strangely, I'm no longer working with the chaps at UFO. Let me note that they were fine people and everything ended professionally and with class.

Still, will this mean the end of my time in Sofia? Will this be the long [short?] descent into madness; actually having to live in LA? Working there? Perhaps I should practice my skills as a barista?

I guess some people are hoping for that. Well, you can't please everyone, I guess. If so, it'd mean the end of the web log as well. Indeed, this could be the last post...

Could be, but won't...

Well, I wished not to say anything until confirmation, so I've spent some time on the phone and at the ol' email program...

There are a couple offers right now, but it looks like I'll take the ones that'll put me back in Eastern Europe. I'm a bit shocked that people thought this would be The End (well, the ones associated with production should know better).

Had to really consider getting rid of my apartment here in LA, but I couldn't bring myself to do it; it's quaint, quiet, and inexpensive, thus is different from 99% of apartments in the greater LA area.

Okay, 'nuff said, for now. Sorry for the delay, but there are still a few things to do, like have a Dr. Pepper and figure out how to get 'evil-Rank' back to his own dimension.

Okay, got back from Greece on Monday. Fun time. The Olympic spirit was underway, I shot some arrows, attended a Communist rally, drank a lot of coffee, had good hair, and smuggled Haagen Dazs into Bulgaria.
Pics and nonsense to follow shortly.

Well, this month tops last month as far as visits go. Unreal. Probably thanks to Danica (who brought me a gift after the wrap: a bottle of Jamesons; what a gal!).

I also got ranked at Blogstreet as--get ready--2246th amongst a field of 143662! I'm gunning for Roger now. It might be a tough fight, since he had as many visits in one months as I did through the last 11 and is immensely popular and has a cool hat, but I think I'll pull it off.

On a bright note, let me note that I am ranked higher than Angie (she comes in at a dishonorable 4882).

On a surreal note, I also made the Top 500 "Most Influential," topping the ACLU at 494th, although that's technically not a blog.

Visitors to the main page.

Thanks all.

This month's Webalizer made this second most visits on the site since it started, with an 842/day average (tops).

Again, glad you're enjoying it, and thanks. And thanks to the commenters who--when they're not picking on me--have some truly entertaining and often deep observations to add.

What are they thinking?

Been insanely busy the last week.
A lot to talk about.
Had a dinner with Rob and Petya last week, and a load of Peace Corps guys, then went to a bar, then to a club...
Notes/observations:
Rob is a really big guy, and if I were a Bulgarian student, I wouldn't sass him.
Petya tried to light me on fire.
Danica McKeller's mom can party.
Happy Birthday, Rob!

More later.

Part of the Blogroll needed some updating, so I finally got around to it:

The new two blogs:

Check out Alaskan Bulgarian (a considerably better writer than jkrank) and Petya (a considerably better feminist than jkrank).

Chop-chop! I don't put them up there for my amusement!

Got back on Sunday without a hitch, although my passport was scrutinized by the Bulgarian authorities at the airport--they're really cracking down on travellers now. When I first got here, they didn't even bother to check how long I'd been in the country.

I don't like travelling all that much. Scratch that, I don't like flying that much. I'm not afraid per se, just...anxious. The idea of putting my life in other peoples' hands (such as engineers) is unpleasant to me. I can't really deal with it. I have to re-convince myself that the travel is worth it.
I talked about this later with a friend, who agreed:
"I just have never understood the concept of the airplane. How it flies at all."
Well, I understand how it flies, and it doesn't make me feel any better.
That being said, the one bright spot in flying is landing at the Munich airport, which is clean and pleasant in a ruthless German way. The shops are orderly. The cafe is distantly pleasant. The bathrooms are spotless and cold.
Indeed, I strolled out of the gate and immediately heard "O Come All Ye Faithful" at the cafe, so I went there and ordered a Milchenkaffe or something, and drank in Western civilization.

I expected dogs at the LA customs, but didn't get them (I always fancied whether the general air of Bulgaria would set sniffer dogs off).
Went through the passport checks and baggage terminal in record time; couldn't have been more than 20 minutes.

My apartment was just how I left it, but I no longer feel really confortable there. I was shocked when I opened my silverware drawer and realized that I didn't want to use it. Not that it was bad, but it seemed really out of place to dirty or otherwise do anything in my apartment, other than watch the Spelling Bee Championships on ESPN (ESPN?).
I did go to Taco Bell, and it was everything I hoped for.

And there is a colossal AMC 20 in the Burbank Village now. Amazing how quickly it went up. I waited in line for 30 minutes in order to buy a ticket for The Return of The King. Then, once I bought the ticket, the AMC minion on the other side of the guichet (a word from the spelling bee that remarkably applied that day) said:

Finally, some last minute Christmas shopping put me at Toys R Us. It'd been years since I had been in one, and was expecting to pay 100 bucks for anything worthwhile for the kid. I was stunned, stunned when I walked around. The stuff was SO COOL!
The priority was trains (the kid likes trains), and I found a MegaBlocks train set with a few tracks and remote control. Totally cool...until I turned the corner and found the Fisher Price Rail Baron From Hell Train Empire Set. This thing was amazing. There was a display, so I punched a few buttons and stood there as an entire little remote controlled scenario for 2.5 year olds occurred before my eyes. I think I said, "Kick Ass!" aloud, to the consternation of mothers around me. All this for 40 bucks. I bought it.

And I seriously considered buying the Lord of The Rings Risk game, but pulled myself away from it.

Well, enough for now. I've got to get back to the family.

I'm averaging quite a few visits a day, which is amazing, since I haven't been writing anything as of late, because I'm a big loser.

We're on a film called Alien Blood right now (another SciFi show). On day 8 of the shoot, officially, working on splits. It stars Brad Johnson, Carl Weathers, Erin Ross, Nathan Anderson, and Lilas Lane. They were all at Thanksgiving. Hell, Carl made fun of my Aunt's stuffing (there are many things you could never expect in your life, but to have Carl Weathers critique your aunt's turkey stuffing is not something I'd ever even consider).

One of the our other movies, Epoch Evolution, played on SciFi the other night, and apparently did very well, (some of the images and stories are here) although Angie has yet to debase it with a scathing critique. I'm waiting, though.

My pants keep falling off. This isn't such a bad thing here, normally. I've been nixing the carbs, doing situps, and causing myself acute pain on a Bulgarian fitness machine. And the suit I bought for my boss' wedding needs a tuck already.

Speaking of pants falling off, the Line Producer had his birthday party on Monday night. Started off the evening at Panorama (at the top of the Kempinski Hotel here in Sofia), and ended--for me--at some gay night club called Spartacus (eh, my pants most definately did NOT fall off there). The middle...is kinda hazy, but I was able to use my charms to full extent (although it cost me several drinks) on a couple girls. Things went...well. Happy Birthday.

I love the clubs in Sofia. Tonight, we're taking a few of the actors to experience some of the more interesting ones. God help 'em. The clubs here are far better than LA for five reasons:
1. The night clubs here operate at night, as opposed to LA where everything shuts down at 2am. Things here shut down...well, I dunno, after I shut down, I guess. It's like the refrigerator light mystery, but on a bigger, louder scale.
2. You do not have to "know someone" to get in, and can dispose of all the pretentiousness. Its so nice to just, you know, walk in.
3. Cover charge is 3-5 dollars, if that. Drinks are even cheaper.
4. You may get thrown out...if you fire a weapon.
5. Did I mention the girls?

Why the fitness, when I have such a spry figure already, you ask?
I saw myself in the last show, and it was like that one Friends episode.

And I'm priming everything for a binge of Mexican, Japanese, and XMas cooking when I get back to San Diego and Los Angeles.

Hopefully, the 2nd Annual Super Bulgarian Blogging Bash will occur before XMas, but we shall see. Awaiting emails. Expecting a 75-90% turnout of countrymen, however, which is easily the best recorded conference ever.

On the radio, I heard a news report fly by, catching "moon," "George W. Bush," and "National Review." Talk about peaking my interest. I'll have more on my thoughts on that later.

Also, Bulgaria will officially join NATO in April 04.

It has been the busiest five weeks in my life.
A few things have happened that I was unable to discuss:

I had a blogoversary. My first. I started last year on the 11th of November of '02. Not that I remembered that until yesterday, when I looked for new comments. I probably should have had some sort of party, probably with the three other Bulgarian bloggers I know about, Chris, Peyta, and Rob.

I have a slew of new comments. Sadly, most are Pharmaspam. I thought modern medicine gave up leeches…sigh.

Boy, looking back on my first post…I’ve really done an average job. I need more posts on Russian Mafia. And I’ve been lazy, too, since there have been a few bombs and shootings lately regarding it in the Streets of Sofia.

Still, I’m stunned that so many people have read this blog, and my thanks to all those who enjoy reading it. Hopefully, you’ll continue to be entertained, or perhaps you’ll just shake your head and sigh a lot. Finally, thanks very much to those sites who have linked to me (whether political, entertainment, or celeb fan sites), since they’re the main reason anyone is here at all (unless I underestimate the number of Google Searches for “Bulgaria girls nonsense”).

On a whim, I just checked what searches lead to this site, and I'm horrified. I can't even print half of them. I'm stunned at the number of requests for "i r baboon" and "plutonium for sale," however. Still, I'm glad I'm such a magnet for what I can only assume are mindless fanatics and perverts (and Instapundit readers). Hey, you gotta start somewhere.

I must post that my Aunt sent me a giant tub o’ caramel corn, which went over great here. To one-up her, the Line Producer’s mom sent 5 bags of cookies of various flavors, homemade fudge, brownies, and chocolate covered peanut butter balls.

After all this, I’ve still lost weight.

Finished another film. This one was called Raptor Island, which will be a kid’s movie, and certainly filled with action. The show blew by so fast, and me with so much work, I don’t really recall much of it. I recall one part, however. A group of journalists from a magazine came on set, and I explained to them the story:

“The film is called Raptor Island. It’s about a group of Navy Seals who follow a group of terrorists to an island in an archipelago somewhere, and it’s filled with Raptors. And the Raptors start hunting them all down. But some of the Seals survive and destroy all the Raptors.”

“The film is called Rapper Island. It’s about a group of Navy Seals who follow a group of terrorists to an island in an archipelago somewhere, and it’s filled with rappers. And the rappers start hunting them all down. But some of the Seals survive and destroy all the rappers.”

There is potential for a few movies here that I’m really excited about, but I can’t tell you anything about them, although I’ll certainly tell my imaginary girlfriend. This is ironic, since if I told you the movies, it would explain why my girlfriend is imaginary, and why I would be excited in the first place.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I have arranged a fine Thanksgiving meal at the Hilton. Actually, I’m not being sarcastic. They love me, there (and I them)…speaking of which, there is a really cute girl there in the accounting department. Anyway, I wrote about last Thanksgiving at the Hilton, which was not my very best post, but was easily my best title for any given post. Aside from inept turkey-carving skills, their only problem then was that they had no stuffing. So I asked my aunt to sent her stuffing recipe. Then I gave it to the Hilton. Viola: Hilton is serving my aunt’s stuffing for Thanksgiving! Now that friggin’ service!

I met Carl Weathers today.

We’ve been on location for the last week, and will continue to be on location for the next week. No internet, and I’m too tired when I get home to write anything.
I thought about it yesterday, since it was our ‘day off’ (well, 99% of the people…) However, it was so beautiful yesterday. Bright blue, clear sky, chilly, but one of the last nice days, most likely, until the end of March. So I left the apartment, my computer neglected.
Did the normal Sunday run to Dunkin’ Donuts (not for the donuts, but for the coffee, which is American, and swimming with real cream!). Took in the city. It was quiet. The clubs were quiet the night before (there was a shooting at my favorite place on Friday; nobody was hurt save for some glass cuts). Amazing. The culprits were released within 72 hours. Third-World amazing.
But it's a damn fine night club. I'll be back.
Went to Italian restaurant called Gioia Saturday evening with the cast and producers. They make the pasta in-house, and it’s incredible. Even the Italians say it’s great. Even the New Yorkers say it's great! It’s kind of a Mediterranean-Italian style. It's great.
Ten people, complete with a case of wine, three bottles of Limoncello, homemade tiramisu, three pasta dishes for all, and antipasto: 300 lev ($175).
Saw the Matrix: Revolutions (no spoilers) with the director for the upcoming show, Alien Blood, which will be on SciFi (we are prepping that movie while another is shooting). Got to impress him with my Bulgarian. It helped that there was a Bulgarian gaggle of girls in front of us, couting out crumpled lev notes to buy tickets for the same movie. They screwed it up, miscouting, and then giving too much—twice—to the vendor. Then they walked off without their tickets (I called them back, in Bulgarian, in front of a line of Bulgarians, which drew a lot of looks on account of my peculiar accent). After their bumbling, I looked like a genius buying tickets, choosing seats, and generally conversing with the vendor.
Half of speaking this language—and any, I suppose—is predicting what they’re going to say. It's how I get by so well.
Anyway, the new theatre here, Arena, is like an AMC. Very cool, with a food court (a novelty), an ice cream parlor, and a pizza place. A couple shops, too. Assigned seating, two sets of documents (a ticket and receipt…they do papers and documents very well here). Popcorn is either 2 leva or 3 leva, depending on size. Water is 75 stultinki.

Got home to find an upholstered chair in the lobby of my complex. An old lady stood trying to move it to the elevator. She’s my next door neighbor, and always stares at me openly. I’m nice to her grandkids (who try to speak in English to me, which is a total failure, but sweet).
She froze. I asked if she needed help. That caused her to gawk. For a moment, I thought she might scream. Finally, she said “no-no-no, thanks,” and that was that. I know she is curious as to what I do (I’m a 6’4” foreigner who keeps weird hours and never takes the elevator). I don’t think she expected me to say anything to her, or ask if she needed help. Funny people.
Finally got a Christmas list together. I won’t be back in San Diego until the 24th at the very earliest. I’ve also noted that I have no lists from my family, and I’ll be buying and bringing gifts from this country.

November 1: Halloween came and went. We are starting the show Monday, so most everyone was very stressed. Spirits were lifted by a care package from readers from the site. Rob and Val sent me Red Vines and Starbucks.
Consequently, we had a huge celebration today, and sacrificed our Script Super to the All-Seeing Goddess of Starbucks (whose weird icon is on the bag).
Found that Bulgarians do not like Red Vines, expecting it to taste like pasta or something (it looks like pasta, after all). There was only one exception, the Costume Designer. Ah well, more for me.
Half the tub is already empty.
I found time to nip out for the evening and go to Murphy's. Ran into the VFX guys who came in from NY, and I sent them to a pizza place, which, suprisingly, they said was fantastic. I always thought so, but you know East Coast people...
The rest of the evening is Eyes Only. Suffice to say, I need a nap.

Two more shows to go for the year, then back to LA and San Diego for Christmas...for a vacation...arghh!
Looks like I'll be back in January for another slate, knock on wood.
I caught myself using words like 'home' to describe Sofia, and words like 'when I used to live in LA...' Ohboy...
I found out that my cousin is knocked up...again!...so there will be another kid who won't know who I am running around the house. Ah well.

I remember something on my flight back to Sofia a month ago.
The sky was remarkably clear when we passed over the tip of Greenland, which I had never had the opportunity to see. What I saw perplexed me for some time.
I had pulled up my windowshade and peered down (Lilo and Stitch did not keep my attention), expecting to see white clouds and haze, the standard Arctic fare for airline flights. This time, I saw clear blue ocean, dotted only by a few clouds. Looking down at the clouds, I thought they looked strange, appearing flat and geometric. As high as I was, I couldn't determine the distance, but I finally realized that these little squares weren't clouds, nor were they manmade.
They ware definately floating on the ocean, although it took me ten minutes to convince myself (it must have been the angle). I could barely make out the long wake of slightly greener water marking the square's path on the ocean.
Finally, we flew over a frozen bay on the mainland and I saw thousands of white squares--all approximately the same size and shape--broken off from the inland bay and floating out to sea, like a massive white navy heading south before they would disappear under the waves. I wondered how big those blocks of ice were to be clearly seen from my altitude, and how long they'd last.
Heading up the frozen blue bay, I followed this river up to the unbelievably jagged mountains of Greenland, all covered in white, and each looking razor sharp and cruel and endless. It felt like the edge of the world.
It was a spectacular sight, better than the view of Ireland that I once got on a cloudless evening. Better than IMAX.
We live in a great age, as I'm one of only several thousand who've seen this.

Busy.

Really Busy. Two Units. Crazy.

Shooting a pool scene today. Batteries dead on camera!

Meanwhile, Bulgaria ranks tied for 1st in sex.

Pleasant day for me.
Went with the Line Producer for a walk. Shopping for a wedding gift. It's beautiful today. Fall arrived September the 1str at about 9:10am. Amazing how abrupt it came on. One day, it's 90F, and now it's 70F.
Came home with a bag of roasted chestnuts and cracked open a bottle of wine.
There is a national soccer game today, and I can hear the roar from the crowd from the balcony of my apartment.
Which means tonight, there will be fireworks...they sound like a howitzer from my location.
I'm grabbing my brushes and wasting the rest of day.

UPDATE: Looks like the Bulgarian National team defeated Estonia 2-0. Smells like Revenge.

Alrighee, I am back in Sofia. I'll fill you in on the last couple of weeks shortly.

Appears to be a ton of mail, so I'll answer those shortly as well.

In the film front, Darklight wrapped up, and we are on to our next film...

Python vs. Boa!

...Scott Janssens has posted the 1000th comment with:

"I'm sorry Jeff."

Speaking of landmarks, we used the 100th roll (the 100th can of film used for the shoot). It was two days ago, actually, and I bought beer for the crew. Actually, that was more difficult than I expected (it always is, but I'm still suprised each time). The Craft Service guy is 'old-school' (in Bulgaria, this is a bad thing). A conversation will often go like this:

"This looks good. Wait, where are the candy bars?"
"There are none."
"Why?"
"Billa [a market] was out of them."
"...well, what about Metro [another market]?"
"You said to go to Billa."
"I said to get candy bars."

"Man, it's 40 degrees out here! And the crew says you aren't giving any ice."
"Yes."
"Do you have ice?"
"Yes."
"Why aren't you giving any to the crew?"
"Because I don't have enough."
"It's your job to have enough."
"Nobody told me to buy more, so I am giving it to you and John [Line Producer]."
"In front of the crew...oh $%#("
A shrug in response.
"Buy more!"
"If you say so."

"Alright, here's the beer...where's the ice..."
"I don't have enough..."
"Get ice. Cold beer, I said cold beer."
"This is cold."
"This is lukewarm, and it's two hours till wrap. This will only anger the crew. It will actually lower morale if I offer warm beer."
"I bought it cold."
A glare at him.
"Uh, I will put some in the refrigerator, and then after an hour, I will take them out and put the others in the refrigerator."

"Buy ice!"
"I do not have it in the budget."

As I've written before, they take their soccer very, very seriously here. So seriously, it's funny, from a distance:

" who ever wrote thise page [this page]
it is not true that every one in Bulgaria only likes Levski and eat tarator and not true that there was mustared gas and you dont need a gas mask and a fireproof blanket to go watch a soccer game in Bulgaria Becouse a have gone to every game CSK my favorite team vs levski has Played in Bulgaria
and never saw any of thise happen."

Mean Mr. Mustard is retiring. A terrible shame, but grad school beckons.

Been kinda drowsy lately. Don't understand why. Maybe I should sleep. Or maybe I should have a coffee and some Pixie Stix.
Negotiations are tense right now between me and Starbucks. There is a Starbucks in Athens, and the fellow who owns the franchise rights to Greece owns them for the isles and Bulgaria as well.
Not that I want to open a coffee shop. I just want coffee. Starbucks coffee. American coffee! From Greece!
Not this grimy black jelly they push on you here.

What I'm aiming for now is the acquisition of one of the espresso ueber-machines that are in all Starbucks. They don't seem to eager to give it up, but I'm breaking the manager's will, albeit slowly.

If only I was Sauron.

See, the machines you buy here don't seem to be able to handle a large load of people (when the crew is in production, the thing runs all day for over a hundred people--especially on night shoots--like a Starbucks machine); they always break, usually after a few days. It's pathetic, then the crew gets mad. I could get one from the US, but:
1. I'll pay more
2. I'll have an incontinental shipping bill
3. I'll have duties and taxes
No, I'll drive this machine over, from Greece. It's genius.
Besides, there's some ego at work here. I don't remember failing to get something unusual done in some time (oh, I'll screw up the simple crap all the time). I have a reputation to protect. Of course I can get a Starbucks in Greece to give some American in Bulgaria their espresso machine!

(And if that doesn't work, I'll get my Italian DOP to bring one from Rome when he goes back.)

Once Operation Venti Nonfat Latte is complete, I'll teach Craft Service that there is more to coffee than simply smashing as much ground bean into a small filter and dripping hot water through it. Steamed milk will change Bulgaria, I guarantee it.

Credit goes to Novinite, and this was written by Sarkis Garjarian:

"...At a corner on Fifth Avenue in midtown Manhattan, right in front of a church, the spirit of American liberty lives. Dozens of masks of the Statue of Liberty's face lean against a bicycle. Behind the masks, a middle-aged man is sitting and talking to people.
Pedestrian: "Liberty George is your name?"
Dukov: "George is my name."
People call him "Liberty" George, because he creates masks with the face of Statue of Liberty.
His real name is Georgi Dukov. He is a native of Bulgaria. He immigrated to New York State from Bulgaria 12 years ago. In 1999, Mr. Dukov moved to New York City and began making his masks.
"The Statue of Liberty I chose because this is the symbol of American Freedom," he said. "This is a connection with American spirit."
On the masks, based on the face of the Statue of Liberty, Mr. Dukov imposes a variety of colorful symbols such as international flags, New York City maps, and landscapes. The masks catch the eyes of people walking along the avenue.
"It reminds me of carnival," said Irma, who is visiting from the southern state of North Carolina. "I was brought up in Switzerland. We used to wear these masks."
"This has all the firemen on it," added Joann Siegler of Cleveland, Ohio, in the Midwest, who is particularly attracted to a mask that represents New Yorkers who died in the September 11, 2001 attacks. "I think that is quite unique," she said. "This is a nice memorial. And our freedom is the Statue of Liberty."
...
"Liberty" George transports the Statue of Liberty masks on a bicycle from his home in the borough of Brooklyn. His trip includes crossing a bridge to the island of Manhattan.
"Now I am coming in the middle of Queensboro Bridge," said Mr. Dukov. "So I cannot ride the bike, but I push a box with Lady Liberty mask. And I think I am so happy that I am Bulgarian and that I created the Lady Liberty mask, and I transport it to 55th street and Fifth Ave."
Georgi Dukov took part in a recent theatrical performance written and presented by immigrants.
He tells his story in Bulgarian about his journey to the United States more than a decade ago.
Another actor interprets his story into English.
Four of "Liberty" George's masks have found a permanent home at the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island Museum.
"I think his work is outstanding," said Diana Pardue, chief curator of the museum. "It is a different way to look at art that relates to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. But his work has been a very positive addition to the Museum collection."
Georgi Dukov is now working on a special project for the Ellis Island Museum. He is creating a 180-centimeter mask of the face of the Statue of Liberty."

Sorry, guys. Out of commission from a vicious illness. Seriously, this is the sickest I have ever been in my life. It was actually a bit scary, and even after the meds, I still feel weary.
They thought it was SARS. That was unpleasant. After a hospital visit and some lung X-Rays, however, they decided that it wasn't.
Actually, I dreaded the hospital visit. I don't like hospitals as a rule, but I'd never been in a Bulgarian one. It was small, but modern, and clean. No broken windows, no wooden chairs, no smears on the floor, no rotten ceiling tiles. I'm like Mom in Dexter's Laboratory, so all of this was important.
And the hospital visit, plus X-Rays, came out to 34 lev. That's about 20 bucks! That made me feel better.
Anyway, back to business today. The show has been pushed by a few days to Thursday, so I've got time to finish up all the stuff that needs be done.
Most of our specialized make-up and prothetics came in today (there are some demonic creatures in the movie), and the cast should be resolved by tonight.
Will update when I have more info.
**jkrank out**

Sorry for the light posting, but we're sorting out the prep here. Most of the dayplayers have been cast, and the equipment locked in.

Things to expect soon:
1. The cast, and any news on the past shows
2. Pics of my new "Viagra-Phone" [UPDATE MAY 8]
3. An update on the prep of Phantom Force
4. Pics of Bulgarian girls [UPDATE this MONDAY]
5. Any wackiness from the news

UPDATE: By popular demand, #4 will be bumped up to #1. The former #1 will be traded for cash and future considerations.

Back in Sofia. Everything is blooming. This is the good time to be here, although I know the insects will be buzzing in a couple weeks.

I hear that the Hilton has my 'viagra phone' all lined up. I'll have to get that tomorrow (besides, I have to pay the staggering hotel bill for last show...even the damn dog had a suite).

The director is here, and we're sorting through make-up issues. The movie will be called Phantom Force. The script is entertaining, and chock full o' action. Guns, ghosts, actifacts, submarines. More on that later.

I watched "Star Trek: Nemesis" on the airplane. I found it entertaining, but only because I rate all Star Treks now to that one where they find God at the end of the universe, and he's lame.
Still, I liked the villain, and the cast naturally carries the story through. I'm glad they blew away Data, as there is only so much naive android I can handle. I was visibly angry at the appearance of Janeway, even on a monitor: 1) I don't like Janeway, and 2) her appearance confirms that she has returned from wherever the hell the gods mercifully launched her ship to. She seemed to outrank Picard, as well. Her lines were orders.
Personally, I'd have flipped the comm off. "I'm busy, eh, 'Captain.' Picard out."
Of course, it's all just a movie...right...breathe.

Leaving for sunny California for a week.

Of course, it just becoming beautiful here in Sofia...sigh...

Well, it's snowing anyway...

One good week, and now it's frigging snowing, and freezing.

That's it. I'm going to the roof, taking some hair spray, and firing it into the earth's atmosphere, right now. Then I'll have SFX blow up a refrigerator.

UPDATE: It's a friggin blizzard!

I got my curios, amidst the clutter of prep.

Also note the imported Starbucks coffee, screen cleaner, a cast day out of days, and a magic 8-ball for decision-making.

Now where is the Hosting Matters site for Frogman?

Take Merde. Mix in two tablespoons of Extra Bold DenBeste Sauce. Add Bunny. Smother in Mean Mr. Mustard. Smash well. Cover in Reynolds Wrap and bake in Cold Fury for 35 minutes. Serve to Innocents Abroad with Vodkapundit and steamed Asparagirl. Garnish with Little Green Footballs.

I'd like to give a shout out to Vassil Vassilev in Texas! My computer was incinerated, as was your email.

I'm glad there are some Texan Bulgarians reading the page, and undoubtedly, one would not want to mess with that mixture of peoples.

One peculiar Bulgarian holiday occurred on March the 1st.

Lutenitza...

No, wait. That's a sauce.

It's called: Martenitza. Or Baba Marta (good job, Citizen Kate!)

See these little red and white bracelets. You give these to your friends.
"Chestita Baba Marta." It's what you say. It means: "Congratulations, Grandma March."
The hoary tale goes as such, so gather 'round, as I translate:
"Once upon a time there were three siblings who lived in the land of Bulgaria. They were two ugly boys and a sassy girl. The names of the two boys were January and February, and the girl was named March.
January was a lazy, tepid hush of a man, with little going for him in the field of brains or looks, and February was just a big angry jerk. The woman, March, actually had good qualities (a rarity in Bulgarian tales?). Because she loved her pathetic brothers, she made little red things for her brothers to make them better men, such as blush for cheeks and woven bracelets.
Whatever dark magics she imbued into the bracelets to improve the qualities of her brothers is not known. Suffice to say, Marta did a great service, and it is a considered a blessing of good health to receive one (or more) from a friend.
Although at a terrible cost...(well, this last part I added)
You keep these bracelets on until they fall off on their own accord, you see a stork, or a particular tree (which I can't remember) with blooms.

You then tie the bracelets to the tree (or a stork, I suppose).
And there you have it.

There is so much to talk about and I'm losing feeling in my fingers.
I have photos (below) and info (below) for you to peruse, and still more coming. And a couple stories.
I have to put in my 2 cents on that French baffoon, Chirac, and his statements on Eastern Europe in general and Bulgaria in particular. I also have to buy a couple BG newspapers, because I would like to read their opinion on it.
I have to say that The Dissident Frogman's new animation, "The Price of Peace," is definately worth taking a look at, and he's made it possible to place on your site.
I have about 50 blogs I am a week behind on in reading.
I have to go buy a new coat.
I have to eat.
That's all for now, enjoy.

...will be light for the next couple of days, as we are shooting up at the Danube.
A Bulgarian friend of mine said that they have a song called "White Danube" (White Quiet Danube, to be exact).
I said that we have one called "Blue Danube." She said that was stupid.
So I'm going to take a picture, and see which one of us is correct.
(I hope it's not iced over).

Don't tell Saddam about this.

One of the more popular cigarette brands here in Sofia:

Welcome to Orwell country, come to where the oppression is (menthol?).

After New Years and before my trip back to the Sideshow, I spent a couple days in Paris...will give you details later.

Hello again. Had a heck of a vacation, and am beginning the prep for another show out in Sofia, this one called "Dragon Storm," which begins shooting on February 3rd.
See above for all the details of the vacation worth repeating.

Sorry, deathly ill right now, and no posts, other than the note that Bulgarian pharmacuticals are FANNNNNNNNtastic.

I'm going to try to find my bed and get some sleep.

Sorry for the lack of posts. It's mostly due to the number of beautiful women chasing me from location to location. I'll sort it out, eventually.

I have more on NATO shortly, Las Ketchup, Billy Dee Williams, one actor being arrested, and a movie moment.

Also another Fun Fact, and some notes on the last couple days.

I can tell when Instapundit mentions this site, because there is a sudden and all-powerful flood of visitors. It's amazing, like he is the Lord of the Blog (does he have an All Seeing Eye? Is he really Michael Flatley?):
"Go here," He points, and it was done.
"Read this," He writes, and it was read.
"Buy my high-protein shakes!" he commands...Well, if he actually sold high-protein shakes (like 'Punditpower', or 'Instabody', or maybe 'Reynoldshakes they're Instadee-licious'), they would probably do pretty well.
He does have a stainless steel Instapundit travel mug.
It's just a thought.

In Bulgaria, ketchup comes in green bottles, mayonaisse in yellow bottles, and mustard in white or red bottles.
...
I can only assume that this was linked to the fact that the Eastern Bloc also had railroads of a different width than those of the West.

Renegade, starring Lorenzo Lamas.

Welcome to Sofia Sideshow, straight away from Sofia, Bulgaria!
We’ve got everything: Circus Freaks, Strongmen, Digital Pictures, Films to Produce, Lessons to Learn, and Axes to Grind.
We’ve got Russian Mafia, Hollywood Producers, Post-Communists, Dancing Gypsies, Vile Corruption, Beautiful Women, Ancient Monasteries, Irish Bars, Chinese Food, Wild Dogs, Bitter Coffee, and Biting Cold! All packed closely together between the tranquil stability of the Balkans, Romania, Ukraine, and Turkey!
Oh, don’t worry; it’s perfectly safe. And all for free!
As tents are pitched I’ll introduce the ringmaster: an Americanetz living in Sofia, working for a feature film production company, and drinking heavily. He’ll show you, to the best of his ability, the Eastern Euro view of America and the rest of the world, and vice versa, and how the shining city on the hill looks while in a valley. Also showing are the things sometimes taken for granted in the United States, and the differences in thinking between Americans and…everyone else, and a fun filled romp on the results of the Worst Ideology Ever upon this country, its institutions, and its people…in stark and often horrifying detail. From Comedy to Melancholy, it’s all here.
Between it all, we have a full diary of a string of feature film productions (a.k.a. “The Sideshow”), the actors (clowns), the producers (lion tamers), the crew (acrobats): the sheer insanity and an insider’s look on How It All Works. What’s my day job? I walk the tightrope.
One last thing, just so you know: this Ringmaster truly loves Bulgaria, with all its quirks and strengths and people. I’ll share that with you, too.
You’ll see.