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AUG

Gayest News Day Ever

We're just going to warn you now: There's not a whole hellalot of news today (it's August in D.C., after all), but what news there is is very, very gay. Sure, the most recent spin on McGreevey is that his being gay wasn't the problem, his being crooked like a sidewalk crack was. We'd like to point out that New Jersey almost never has a problem with politicians being crooked. What's more, we wouldn't be having this discussion if he'd hired his pretty young lady friend to be New Jersey's terrorism czar. . . because there's he never would have gotten away with hiring a woman for that job in the first place.

But McGreevey is just one man. The true orgy of gay news is in California, where people are pretending to be shocked that the state Supreme Court voided Gavin Newsome's adorable attempt to make San Francisco even more of a fantasy land than it already is. On top of this pile of writhing human flash we add the news that GOP strategist Grover Norquist is getting married. Oh, sorry. That has nothing to do with anyone being gay at all, does it? But this does: As reported by the Quad City News, "12:23 p.m.: Bush blows kisses to spectators and to NBC reporter David Gregory." Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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Gossip Roundup: Girlie Men Edition

• Names & Faces: Powell to meet award-winning cat of same name. . . PETA "inundated" with calls complaining about Bush giving Barney a fish to play with. [WP]
• Inside Politics: Barr on McGreevey: "It is duplicitous. . . This is really bizarro. This is only the beginning of the political season.". . . Arnold establishes "Girlie-Men for Bush-Cheney." [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Giuliani: "In order to get through life, you have to learn to cry and to laugh again - sometimes on the same day. Baseball taught us how to do that." [NYDN]

Wonkette PSA: Stalkers, May We Have Your Attention Please

A reader alerts us to the presence of actual famous people within the District. (How did they get through the boring-o-fier?). George Clooney and Matt Damon are filming the Steven Soderberg-directed CIA thriller "Syriana" at L'enfant Plaza today. Better get while the getting is not hampered by a restraining order! (We wonder if a certain famous-for-DC lady will do a drive by, hoping for a more successful go at shameless Clooney canoodling than she got away with at last year's "K Street" premiere.)

Political Recycling: Jack and Emma Woo Edition

• Bush, Cheney hit Kerry on national security. Cheney: "I listened to what Senator Kerry had to say in Boston, and, with all due respect to the senator, he views the world as if we had never been attacked on September 11th." Bush: "Senator Kerry is justifiably proud of his record in Vietnam, and he should be. . . I understand the stakes [of war]." [WP, LAT, WT, BG]
• Kerry shifts conversation to the economy, beings two-week focus: "They're just fine with the same old failed policies of the past." Says national sales tax would be "one of the largest tax increases on the middle class in American history." [WP, NYT, WT, USAT]
• Bush visits California, Nancy Reagan, Schwarzenegger; defends decision to remain in classroom on 9/11. [WP, LAT, WT, BG]
• Campaigns disagree on findings of CBO study of tax relief showing middle-class burden. [WP, NYT]

[more...]

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AUG

McGreevey: Further Thoughts #

Calm down, my right-thinking friends. This is what I meant yesterday: McGreevey's speech was stunning, inspiring and perhaps even profound. . . It's too bad he's so corrupt.

One of the reasons McGreevey's speech worked is that while he apologized for what he had done, he didn't apologize for being gay. He made it impossible for anyone to use his sexuality against him and the bluntness with which he did that raises the bar for every public figure who has to cop to a personal crisis on national television. We admire that.

What would have been really great is if he'd also fessed up to ethical lapses that actually matter. We dream of a world in which McGreevey would have to resign not because he's gay, but because he's at the helm of a political machine driven by cronyism and kickbacks.

That's settled. Please stop with the emails putting out an APB for my snark. The ass-fucking jokes will resume shortly.

AUG

McGreevey Speech #

Excuse the expression, but screw Obama. This was the speech of the year. The most high profile outing, well, ever, and McGreevey handled it with grace and dignity. He sort of makes me want to go gay, too.

We hope that someday it won't mean much to go on national television and announce, "I am a gay American." Someday, we hope that kind of announcement comes at the beginning of someone's political career, not the end.

UPDATE: N.J. Governor Resigns, Admits He Is Gay [AP/Yahoo]

UPDATE: More wisdom from NJ local news:

"Certainly now no one in NJ can say they don't know someone who's gay."
"Good point."

UPDATE: McGreevey: Further Thoughts [Wonkette]

McGreevey -- Was: Metrosexual, Is: Uhmmmmm #

Wonkette sources report that a local news commentator in New Jersey bemoaned the loss of Gov. McGreevey thusly: "He was so telegenic."

Other New Jersey sources report that McGreevey's gayitude is the "worst kept secret in New Jersey" (and there's, uhm, stiff competition for that title) and that during the '96 campaign he was trailed by "limos full of boys."

Conference still running late. Sean Hannity, by the way, is having a little conservgasm over this.

UPDATE: What was I saying? It's a huge conservgasm.

UPDATE: Jeff Jarvis is a human clip file on this story. Favorite item: "The NJ.com Statehouse Forum says that McGreevey's mysterious broken leg is related." Oh, the mind reels. . .

McGreevey Last Minute Speculation #

This should all be cleared up in a matter of minutes, but Wonkette sources in New Jersey say that at his press conference Gov. McGreevey will announce that he is stepping down from office in September. He may address "issues of sexuality."

No word on with he and Rick Perry will form some sort of support group.

UPDATE: AP says November step-down date.

McGreevey Show and Tell #

"Dropping the gay bomb" sounds, to us, like it might be a hilarious euphemism for some drug-related mishap, like "falling into the K-hole." Or maybe that's how Karl Rove described the plan to endorse the Federal Marriage Amendment. The Weekly World News, channeling Senator Rick Santorum, says that it's Al Qaeda's secret weapon, a bomb that will turn men homo. But, clearly, if we really want to know what dropping the gay bomb feels like, we better head to New Jersey. PoliticsNJ.com has it that New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey is going to hold "a news conference later this afternoon (4PM) regarding allegations made by his former aide, Golan Cipel." Right. If by "aide" you mean, well, you know what we mean. Conflicting reports about resignation versus not seeking another term. We know how excited you all are, but let's try to show some restraint. Again, we think it's hard enough being a closeted gay man. . . being a closeted gay man in New Jersey? He's suffered enough.

Al Qaeda Plans To Drop Gay Bombs [Weekly World News]

UPDATE: McGreevey's Spokeswoman Has No Comment on Resignation Report [Bloomberg]

Wonk'd: Delta Dawn, What's That Song Edition #

This edition of Wonk'd is dedicated to yesterday's Delta Shuttle from New York to Reagan National. Which one? We're not sure there was more than one. As we understand it, this route's already high concentration of famous-for-DC personages was increased dramatically by the cancellation of several of the afternoon's flights, leaving minor celebrities and would-be powerbrokers to rage impotently into their cellphones. While we welcome further tales of airplane angst (and are particularly eager to find if anyone at all pulled a DYKWIA*), we are pleased to present an exclusive report from Wonkette's global correspondent:

Yesterday, I had the delightful experience of sitting in the cabin of the Delta Shuttle, as it lay motionless on the LaGuardia runway. In fact, we brave members of the Washington elite spent seven hours bonding, as Zeus and the Gods of weather proceeded to ground flight after flight. For all the aggravation, it was a splendid moment for Washington anthropology.

Behind me, retired Senator/grizzled District Attorney Fred Thompson sat in his black T-Shirt and cashmere jacket. Very Men’s Warehouse, if you ask me. But the Washington women on the plane whispered to each other about wanting to jump his old bones.

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Bush, McCain Brothers in Arms #

The AP reports that at a rally inside an aviation company yesterday, Bush gestured to a jet on the plant's floor and "joked that he and McCain, both former fighter pilots, would take the plane out for a spin."

"Both former fighter pilots," eh? Well, we guess if the Swift Boats Vets for Truth "served with Kerry". . .

Bush Raps Kerry on Iraq Troop Reduction [AP/Yahoo]

KerryPool: Luck Be a Lady Edition #

In this series of pool reports from the Kerry campaign, Pat Healy and a Kerry staffer both get lucky, sort of. Kerry takes credit.

Pool was given a full lid til 5pm, but not before Loftus bummed a buck off your deadline-crashing pooler and promptly won $50 on the slots. Pooler is feeling renewed mojo for recouping last night's losses at the blackjack tables.

and

THK trip director Laura Schwartz sat down at the table and promptly started winning. JK took credit, but never played.

Of course. It's the same approach he takes to legislation.

Full reports after the jump.

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Gossip Roundup: Softer Cheney Edition #

• Names & Faces: Goss told Michael Moore: "I couldn't get a job with CIA today. I am not qualified. . . And I certainly don't have the technical skills, uh, as my children remind me every day: 'Dad, you got to get better on your computer.' Uh, so, the things that you need to have, I don't have.". . . Norquist to wed. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: MuslimsforKerry.com squares off with MuslimsforBush.com. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Cheney reads from the archives: "I quote: 'White House associates look on Mr. Cheney as a copy of Mr. Rumsfeld in work habits. But they described Mr. Cheney as friendlier, easier to approach. Some aides believe older associates will test Mr. Cheney's authority, largely on account of his youth and because of his reputation as being 'softer' than Mr. Rumsfeld.'". . . Chris Heinz smiles through burlesque performance. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Jay-Z stops by Clintons' table, greets Bill, Chelsea, Ian. [NYP]

Election Recycling: Risky but Necessary Edition #

• Bush's attacks overshadow Kerry's explanation of war vote. Biden: "I saw a headline that said 'Kerry Would Have Gone to War.' That's bull." [NYT]
• Kerry tells seniors he would allow drug imports. [WP, NYT, WT, BG]
• Bush, McCain criticize Kerry's statement on troop withdrawal: "The mission is not going to be completed as quickly as possible if the enemy thinks we will be removing a substantial number of troops in six months." [NYT, USAT]
• Bush says strong economy evident with interest rate increase. [WP]
• Campaigns criss-cross same swing states; to overlap in Oregon. [LAT]
• Investment in nonvoters risky but necessary. [LAT]