Check out the resemblence between the logos of the Cato Institute and Cato Fashions. Pretty similar, no?

Marathon Update VI

Ran three miles this morning on the treadmill in my health club. Just couldn't bear to do it outside. The humidity is supposed to die down this weekend, though, so I plan to get a lengthy run in, probably on Sunday night. So we're at 35 miles. I also plan to send another batch of fundraising letters over the weekend. Trouble is, the Godforsaken Postal Service is raising the price of stamps tomorrow, just after I bought four books of stamps for my stack of letters. I now have to buy four books of three-cent stamps to mail the letters. The PR tide is seems to be coming around on Amtrak. Let's hope the same happens for the US Mail. It's time we introduced these morons to market forces.

I'm off point. So I'm on the treadmill, which I find excruciatingly boring. Therefore, I have to bring the Walkman. That's not normally a good idea when training for a race, because you naturally adjust your pace to the rythym of the song you're listening to. I also find I run slower with a Walkman, I think because I get too accustomed to the music. When a great song on my mix comes up, I speed up. When it's over, I tend to de-motivate, and slow down through the next batch of songs. But on a treadmill, you really need the distraction. And of course, a treadmill sets the pace for you. You could slow down, but you'd then look awfully goofy picking yourself up off the lap of the hottie on the rowing machine behind you (come to think of it, maybe that's not such a bad idea).

At any rate, this morning's run-mix tunes were, in order:

John Fogerty, "Southern Streamline."
Beck, "Novacane."
The Chosen Few, "Easter."
N.W.A. "Straight Outta' Compton."
The Why Store, "I Have Fallen."
Barenaked Ladies, "Life, In a Nutshell."
U2, "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for."

We're at 35 miles total now. Just over $100 raised.

Posting likely to be light over the weekend, as I'm finishing my 4th o' July column for Fox, and delving deep into my upcoming magazine piece on Straight, Inc. Of course, I've made the "posting will be light" warning before, and ended up posting more. So keep checking, anyway.

The Who's "quiet one," bassist John "The Ox" Entwistle, is dead at 57. Of course, "quietest member of the Who" is a little like saying "sluttiest nun in the Abbey." Despite lingering in the shadows of Daltrey and Townshend, Entwistle did release at least one well-received solo album, 1971's "Smash Your Head Against the Wall." He was also probably rock's most influential bassist, at least outside of John Paul Jones. Brink Lindsey has a cool Entwistle story.

WHACKS, BLUNTS AND BITCH-SLAPS

This guy is slang's premier etymologist.

The Corner's John J Miller likes Justice Thomas' concurring opinion on the voucher case. I do, too.

The best part of the Zelman decision on school choice is Justice Clarence Thomas's concurring opinion: “While the romanticized ideal of universal public education resonates with the cognoscenti who oppose vouchers, poor urban families just want the best education for their children, who will certainly need it to function in our high-tech and advanced society. ... The failure to provide education to poor urban children perpetuates a vicious cycle of poverty, dependence, criminality, and alienation that continues for the remainder of their lives. If society cannot end racial discrimination, at least it can arm minorities with the education to defend themselves from some of discriminations effects.” It's a wonder liberals still oppose school choice. The only thing that could possibly motivate them is blind allegiance to the teacher unions and all their money.

What festers in the musty drawers of a think tank employee? OK, first, get your mind out of the gutter. We're talking desk drawers, here. See what Mark Hemingway found while cleaning out his office.

Rock on Capitalist Chicks! Seriously, I hope to see much, much more of this kind of thing.

Reader Jason Bauer writes:

On the pledge issue, I was actually given detention by my 10th grade science teacher for ever day I did not stand for the pledge. she called my parents to tell the I wasn't standing and eventually I was transferred out of the class. It was the only honors level science class that met first period, blah blah blah. Messed up my whole schedule, and I had to drop classes I really wanted. Public school teachers can be like petty dictators, and not well versed in constitutional rights. This was like 10 years before 9/11 and I'm white. I can only imagine your scenarios.

Mark from Newport Beach (sounding like Larry King, aren't I) writes:

The Supreme Court decision on random drug tests of high school students is a serious blow to freedoms and privacy. What's next, if you walk on a public sidewalk you get drug tested? This is total bullshit.

Gene Healy finds an intriguing history of the Pledge of Allegiance on the ACLU web site. Written by a socialist? Originally recited with extended hand, similar to the Nazi salute? Inculcated into the states thanks in part to a patriotism drive by the Ku Klux Klan? Interesting.

More Pledge thoughts:

Why is it that Christian conservatives in particular are so drawn to the pledge? Is it not a form of idolatry, iterating your faith to a "flag?"

Some friends and acquaintances have argued to me that "kids get embarrassed all the time," and that "nobody's forced to say it." True, but can you imagine being the only kid in class now who doesn't say the Pledge? Post 9/11? With all the hoopla now surrounding its Ninth Circuit ban (and inevitable reversal)? I'd say the kid that refuses to recite the pledge now is damn lucky to escape with mere ridicule. What if the kid's a Muslim and refuses to say it? Remember a few years ago when the Denver Nuggets' Mahmoud Abdul Rauf refused to stand for the national anthem? The guy was crucified in the press, and was subjected to threats on his life from more than a few ignorant "patriots."

That said, I certainly don't think it's the federal government's (or a judge's) responsibility to ban the Pledge. Nor do I think any government -- state, federal or local -- should mandate it. If American Legions and Rotary Clubs want to use the Pledge to affirm their patriotism, more power to them. But I think it's irresponsible and a little fascist for school administrators to ritualize it in the classroom.

Drudge is reporting that the White House is preparing for a Supreme Court resignation. This makes sense to me, and my bet is that it's O'Connor. She's been in ill health, and if you'll remember, it was O'Connor who commented to her husband during the Florida recount that she feared she'd have to stay on another four years to endure a Gore presidency. And as my colleague Susan Chamberlin points out, the time is ripe for an ardent conservative to replace O'Connor, as outrage festers from yesterday's Ninth Circuit decision on the Pledge. As soon as the lefty activist begin aligning against Bush's nomination, the White House PR flacks need only remind the American people that it's liberal judges like the Ninth Circuit panel who hate America and want to purge God from the schools. Add to that the fact that any replacement is likely to be Hispanic, and that the Dems need Hispanics in the 202 elections, and you have the perfect scenario for a Scalia-conservative Hispanic to breeze through confirmation. Think Tom Daschle might soon come to regret allowing that 99-0 Senate vote denouncing the Ninth Circuit decision?

The Supreme Court's support of the Cleveland voucher program provides a nice "everybody wins" solution to the Ninth Circuit's Pledge-of-Allegiance decision. Now that vouchers for private and parochial schools pass constitutional muster, let's start down the road toward eliminating public schools. Give vouchers to poor kids (or tax credits to wealthy people who fund scholarships for poor kids), then let parents decide whether or not they want to send their kids to a school that recites that pledge. If not, surely there's a school nearby that doesn't. Same for sex education, creationism, shop classes, and advanced placement.

Bringing the state into education has created all kinds of problems. Taking the state out solves them. Funny how that works.

This, I think, is how the Supreme Court -- or at least its more liberal justices -- will reason a reversal of yesterday's Ninth Circuit ruling that the Pledge of Allegiance is unconstitutional. It's cited in a Washington Post editorial this morning, which quotes noted church/state separator William Brennan as follows:

"I would suggest that such practices as the designation of 'In God We Trust' as our national motto, or the references to God contained in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag can best be understood . . . as a form a 'ceremonial deism' protected from Establishment Clause scrutiny chiefly because they have lost through rote repetition any significant religious content."

As Judge Ferdinand Fernandez pointed out in dissent, the establishment clause tolerates quite a few instances of "ceremonial deism": Is it okay to sing "God Bless America" or "America the Beautiful" at official events? Is American currency unconstitutional? The answer must be, as Judge Fernandez argues, that in certain expressions "it is obvious that [the] tendency to establish religion in this country or to interfere with the free exercise (or non-exercise) of religion is de minimis."

Fascinating and unsettling piece in this morning's Washington Post about U.S. vulnerabilities and al-Queda's increasing propensity toward a cyber-attack. Think a cyber-attack will merely hold up your email or block your access to TheAgitator.com? Read on:

A computer seized at an al Qaeda office contained models of a dam, made with structural architecture and engineering software, that enabled the planners to simulate its catastrophic failure. Bush administration officials, who discussed the find, declined to say whether they had identified a specific dam as a target.

The FBI reported that the computer had been running Microstran, an advanced tool for analyzing steel and concrete structures; Autocad 2000, which manipulates technical drawings in two or three dimensions; and software "used to identify and classify soils," which would assist in predicting the course of a wall of water surging downstream.

To destroy a dam physically would require "tons of explosives," Assistant Attorney General Michael Chertoff said a year ago. To breach it from cyberspace is not out of the question. In 1998, a 12-year-old hacker, exploring on a lark, broke into the computer system that runs Arizona's Roosevelt Dam. He did not know or care, but federal authorities said he had complete command of the SCADA system controlling the dam's massive floodgates.

Roosevelt Dam holds back as much as 1.5 million acre-feet of water, or 489 trillion gallons. That volume could theoretically cover the city of Phoenix, down river, to a height of five feet. In practice, that could not happen. Before the water reached the Arizona capital, the rampant Salt River would spend most of itself in a flood plain encompassing the cities of Mesa and Tempe -- with a combined population of nearly a million.

This was anonymously stuck in my work mailbox last week. It's the transcript of Mick Jagger's visit to the "Wayne's World" set on Saturday Night Live several years ago. Pretty funny:

Garth: You went to the London School of Economics, right?"

Jagger: Yeah.

Garth: Do you think it's a good idea to stimulate fiscal growth through a sharp increase in government outputs for infrastructure?

Jagger: Well, actually, as a disciple of Friederich Hayek, I've always been skeptical about the larger government involvement in economic stimulus, and I've preferred a market-oriented approach to government spending and increasing deficits.

Garth: Really. I surely didn't figure you to be a Keynesian.

(LAUGHTER)

Wayne: Who knew?

Garth: That is such a shock!

Jagger: But lately, my philosophy . . .

(CLOCK TICKS AROUND THE SCREEN. GARTH NOW WEARS RED PAJAMAS AND IS ASLEEP AGAINST JAGGER'S SHOULDER. WAYNE IS EATING PIZZA OUT OF A BOX AND THERE IS MISCELLANEOUS TRASH ABOUT).

Jagger: . . .say put fifteen billion into improving infrastructure, fifteen billion or so into investment credits and targeted capital gains transactions.

Wayne: Oh, great! Good answer, that was a great answer. Garth, Garth! Wake up, wake up!

(GARTH WAKES UP, LOOKS AT JAGGER AND JUMPS AS IF SHOCKED TO SEE HIM)

Wayne: Okay! Unbelievable.

Wayne and Garth: We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

THE END

The letter below was sent to Jeanne Malmgrem, who wrote a story on Straight, Inc. for the St. Petersburg Times. The author asked that she forward the letter to Sammie Monroe, who yesterday faxed it to me. It's dated 6-7-02. Though the author gave Malmgrem permission to use his name, he didn't give it to me, so I'll keep him anonymous for now.

Dear Ms. Malmgren,

First I noticed the photograph. And then I did a "double take." I remember Samantha Monroe from Straight, Inc., Sarasota. I was there at the same time she was. I haven't forgotten one face from that place. I was 15 years old when "Sam" was there.

Today, I spent almost 20 minutes alone in the bathroom, admittedly sobbing and crying harder than I can remember in a very long time. I also was abused in Sarasota, and after they shut down that one, we were moved to Straight, St. Pete (not all the kids, but a lot of them). What Sam described is the truth. I have just tried to forget about it.

I'm not really certain what is happening legally about the abuse people got from that program. However, if a class action suit is filed, I want to be involved. Even my parents were witness to some of the abuse, but they were conditioned to believe that they would be hurting or otherwise harming the kiddies if they said anything bad about the place. Parents were told on a regular basis that their child "WOULD DIE" if they "pulled their kid from the program."

When I turned 19 I was in St. Pete Straight and tried to "pull myself from the program," but the staff would not allow me to leave. Finally, my mother looked across the "open meeting" room and saw how my spirit and health were looking so bad it scared her. Finally, I was pulled out when my parents had to demand it!

As I sit in Penellas County Jail, I hope that somehow you'll be able to contact Sam an let her know I've contacted you and that I would be grateful to be able to correspond with her. It made me somehow feel a sense of comfort knowing some of us are still around.

As for jail, I have been in and out for years. My drug of choice is alcohol, and I've been arrested on numerous occasions for offenses involving alcohol, DUI, shoplifting, etc.

There are no excuses. I will say, however, that the damage that place did to me is both deep and real. I still have nightmares about it -- yes, even in jail!

I remember [note: I'm deleting a long list of names here]. As for St. Pete Straight, I don't remember a lot of their names except for Miller Newton, who dropped in and out. It was at St. Pete Straight that I was "confronted" for, according to the staff and "phasers" there, "SATAN WORSHIP," due to the fact that while searching my belongings on the day I arrived, they found cassette tapes of rock bands. Because I listened to Led Zep and other bands, they wouldn't let me go home to my parents house for weekends. God.

I don't want to put you to sleep here, but I really want to be able to get in touch with Samantha if possible.

My sentence won't be over 'til September 9, 2002. So I cannot phone your office. I just felt compelled to respond to your article -- and believe me, if you need any more information concerning that place, please get in touch. I have two years of incidents I witnessed and/or was a victim of.

Please pass this letter or a copy of it to Ms. Monroe and/or legal counsel. I would really appreciate a response from you.

Your article made me realize that I guess I have yet to fully recover from my experiences I was subjected to in that place.

Thank God it is closed.

The Ninth Circuit's Pledge decision strikes me as profoundly unimportant. I haven't even really decided whether or not I agree with it yet. But I do know that it's going to be blown wildly out of proportion. Why conservatives get their panties in a bunch over the Pledge baffles me. I've always found it kind of creepy that we force kids to stand up in public school and profess their faith to anything. We forget that in America, our schools are for learning. In less nice countries, they're for indoctrinating. (Of course, the very fact that we have public schools is another debate entirely, and one sure to come up tomorrow, when the Supreme Court is expected to release its decision on the Cleveland voucher case. Ideally, we'd have no public schools, and the church/state debate would be moot.)

Your kid can still recite the pledge all he likes, God stuff included. He can also say the "Our Father," the "Hail Mary," and sing "How Great Thou Art." He can meditate, polish his idol of Vishnu or take e-meter readings for his classmates. This ruling changes none of that.

Conservatives have made support for forcing kids to say the Pledge the litmus test for patriotism. Bullshit. I'll state baldly that America is the greatest thing that could've happened to man. I'm at present working on the most jingoistic, blindly patriotic, America-rocks, 4th of July column for Fox News that will articulate exactly that.

And I think Pledge of Allegiance is goofy.

MARATHON UPDATE V

Ran three sweaty, sweltering miles this morning. Absolutely miserable, save for the cute jogger I spotted on my way back. I'm not much of a morning runner. Muscles are tight and cold. Breath is bad. Sleep in eyes. "Official training" starts three weeks from last Saturday. I think we're in good shape for that.

Good news is that I got another donation. That puts us over $100! We're 1/44th of the way there, gang! 32 total miles run in about 2 1/2 weeks of "pre-training."

But this weather must get better. Otherwise, I'll emerge from those long Saturday morning runs in August as little more than one enormous freckle.

OK, I'm jocking Sportsguy again. But he's too damned funny not to plug. Only Bill Simmons could elicit 9 out-loud laughs from me in one column. His "Top 50 Moments in NBA Draft History" is much, much funnier than the title would indicate.

He missed my favorite moment, though: It's 1987, and Indianapolis is hosting the draft. The Pacers are up to announce their first-round pick. It's Reggie Miller, a pure-shooting guard from UCLA, who in 15 years has been a multiple all-star, one of the clutchest playoff performers in league history, a great "community guy," turned down several free-agent opportunities to play in L.A./New York markets -- which offered more money and better endorsement potential, a safe bet hall-of-famer and, oh yeah, married a swimsuit model to boot.

The home fans showered Pacers' GM Donnie Walsh with boos, whistles, and plastic cups half-filled with backwashed Miller Light. Seems Hoosier basketball faithful prefered IU legend and slow, short white guy Steve Alford, who went on to warm the Dallas Maverick's bench for three years, and now coaches the Iowa Hawkeyes.

More great greeting cards from the Modern Humorist.

Reason #137 why I have no regrets about "retiring" from law school.

So I've tried not to make it a policy to specifically ask other bloggers for links. I occasionally send what I think is an interesting post, or one of my better columns, to a few prominent bloggers to get their attention. But asking for permanent links seems kinda' pushy to me. So I've watched, and sort of held my breath, as other blogs have sprung up well after mine, and made the leap to that ultimate test of blogger "arrival," a perma-link on the InstaMan's page. As yet, no link for yours truly. And I watched, and held my breath, as fairly newcomer NZ Bear did his "state of the blogoshpere" linking algorythym, which looked at how blogs interlinked, and ranked some 300 or so sites based on how often they're linked to from other sites -- and was forced to notice that, no, I wasn't at the bottom of the 300 or so ranked blogs. Rather, I wasn't even listed.

But now, I gotta speak up. Not only do I seem to be driving in the slow lane on the blogging super-freeway, now I'm actually getting de-linked. Doctor Weevil, whose site I regularly frequent, once had yours truly atop his "Les 120 Journaux de Blogdom" links section. Okay, I was only at the top because he listed them alphabetically. But now it seems I'm conspicuously absent his "top 120" list. I've been cut! Have I faltered? Are my posts less eloquent, biting and incisive than they once were? Should I start linking to porn? I'm baffled.

Seems the registry link doesn't work so well. Instead, go here, and do a search on Rebecca Davis or Ari Fleischer. Then click, and browse, and, if you like, buy them some berry dishes or plastic napkin holders.

Here's a little voyeuristic fun for you. Take a look at the Target gift registry for the November wedding of White House mouthpiece Ari Fleischer and the fair Becki Davis. (Link via You Remind Me of Blog). Hell, you can even buy them something if you want (though I can think of another way to spend your money).

Davis, as I've told you, is from my hometown. Her mom taught one of my CCD classes, and Becki and I spent many a Sunday morning in the pews of St. Michael's church in Greenfield, IN. As YRMOB points out, it's fairly easy to discern which movies Ari put on the list, and which were probably Becki's choices. At least I hope so. I'd guess that Jurassic Park, Austin Powers, Casino and The Green Mile are the former; Serendipity, What Women Want and and Sabrina the latter.

Just got a revealing packet of literature via snail mail from the sister of a kid who committed suicide after his ordeal in a Straight facility. Some of the more telling "rules and regulations" parents are required to adhere to:

PHASE #1

The child is living away from home with a temporary family. This is for a minimum of 14 days. Court cases a minimum of 30 days. [Note: I have accounts from many Straight alumni who said Phase 1 could last for months.]

No making or receiving phone calls, letters, etc. from friends or parents. No television, radio or reading.

The transporter of your child must take a direct route to Straight from their home. NO stops along the way.

Your child will attend Straight from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. Monday through Saturday. Sunday from 2:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.

Transporter is responsible to have your child at Straight promptly at the designated time and pick up the child at closing.

The child is responsible for doing a Moral Inventory daily. (MANDATORY)

RULES FOR PARENTS DURING RAPS
[Note: "Raps" are talk sessions where parents sit on one side of the room, children on the other. Parents are not allowed any time alone with their child.]

Parents are not to question the child about conversations, events and sessions that happens [sic] in the group.

Parents will be seated at the discretion of the staff and remain seated throughout the meeting.

No talking during open meeting.

No eye games with your child.

Parents should leave promptly after Open Meetings and raps. No parking-lot gossip.

All siblings and other families in the household must be interviewed by staff after the first fourteen (14) days of the program.

While child is on Phase I of the program, there is to be no contact with the temporary foster home.

Program will contact schools regarding your child entering Straight.

During first and second phase, client is not to leave the house or stop anywhere going to or from the program. He may not receive telephone calls, letters, cards or gifts during this time.
[Note: some Straight alumni I've talked said it commonly took months to get through first and second phase.]

Please do not call staff in reference to your child's progress. Staff will provide progress reports from fourteen (14) to thirty (30) days.

The "sibling" interviews were a nice touch, too. Inevitably, Straight would tell parents that the siblings had drug problems too. More clients, more money. Even siblings without drug problems were often called "dry druggies," and they too needed Straight, because anyone with a druggie brother or sister obviously harbored pro-drug sentiments, and obviously needed intervention, lest they turn to drugs themselves (check the video of SAFE Orlando for more on this).

Also keep in mind that much of this occurred at the height of drug war hysteria (though it still goes on today). Goes a long way toward explaining why lots of parents went along, even when their kids were telling them horror stories.

"Elan" is an adolescent rehab center in Poland, Maine. It's gotten some attention of late as it was allegedly where Michael Skakel admitted to murdering Martha Moxley. In court testimony at Skakel's trial, some pretty familiar synanon-type abuses the center employs were brought to light. As far as I can tell, there's no formal Straight connection (Straight archivist Wes Fager can't connect any dots, either), but Elan and Straight do share the synanon philosophy and its accompanying tennets that physical abuse, mental rape and confinement are proper and sometimes necessary weaponry in the war on drugs.

The Italian newsweekly Carta is slamming the Semblers, now with an original piece by one of their staff writers. There's even an index page! Mel Sember, you may remember, is current U.S. ambassador to Italy. What fun it would be if the mainstream Italian media starts running with this.

If you haven't yet checked out Adam Curry's "MTV Chronicles," you should. Candid behind the scenes anecdotes from the late '80's/early 90's pop scene. An excerpt:

Billy Idol

I've met Billy lots of times, but never really had a full conversation with the guy. He was either too stoned or too busy humping some chick.

DownTown on Julie Brown

Yeah that's right, if you remember Julie Brown from the MTV 80's then you just gotta know that she and Billy went at it more than once.

The thing is, they really liked each other. I always felt they were a match made in heaven. Two sluts in a barrel.

The romance didn't last, but it was the only time I saw Julie really head over heels in love.

Slate's "music club" combatants this week look at a new 80's compilation from Rhino. Some funny, nostalgic commentary. One quibble with David Plotz: lay off John Parr. Yeah, "St. Elmo's Fire" is cheesy and overwrought and quintessentially 80's, but it's a staple in my run mix, and I'll be damned if I don't get a bum rush of motivation every time I hear Parr belt the line "you broke the boy in me, but you can't break the man." Then, cue guitar. Cue refrain. I'm motoring. Never ever fails.

Did asbestos prohibition cause the collapse of the World Trade Center? Steve Milloy thought so just days after the attacks. Turns out he may have been right.

Happy thought of the day.

MARATHON UPDATE IV

Click the heading for an explanation.

Slacked off a little this week. Five miles on Thursday, 4.5 on Sunday. I can definitely feel my legs and lungs coming back, but the problem with upping my mileage right now is that each run has been in increasingly sweaty weather. That means that any conditioning I gained by running 5 miles at 75 degrees is pretty much used up by running those same 5 miles at 85 degrees. Won't get better, either. D.C. forecast calls for temps in the 90's this week, heat index in the 100's. I do most all of my running at night, though, usually right at dusk. Still, when it's upper 80's and 90% humidity at 9pm, you're pretty much tripping over your tongue by the time you've finished your run. Soon enough, the temperature's gotta' plateau, at which point we'll begin upping the mileage. Unless D.C.'s bound for temps in the 150's this summer, in which case you might want to check out this article.

On the fundraising front, I sent out my first batch of letters, mostly to friends and family. If you want to donate, but aren't wild about the whole Paypal idea, email me, and I'll send you my address. You'll notice our total tally hasn't changed from Marathon Update III. This is sorry news, friends. Fully tax-deductible. Good cause. Surely you're all just waiting 'til later in the summer, after you've taken those vacations. Right?

Total Mileage So Far: 29.5 miles.
Money Raised So Far: $82.50
Target: $4,400
Money Left to Raise:$4,317.50

Fresh email:

As a former Florida Department of Juvenile Justice employee who worked in detention centers and as a juvenile counselor sent kids to facilities of many types, I can testify to the mania for "zero-tolerance" that pervades the Florida bureaucracy. When I worked in the office of the Secretary, I observed dozens, maybe hundreds of proposals to establish "anti-drug" programs. This obsession is based on one factor: the availability of hundreds of millions of dollars for those who say the magic words: kids aren't responsible, parents aren't responsible, the drugs did it!

I don't have any personal experience with SAFE, but the bureaucratic atmosphere in Florida is poisonous. The drug obsession excuses manifest incompetence of every kind, as with the "losing" of Ryla Wilson. Keep after these folks. There is more behind it than you might be able to believe.

So sometime last year, it seems that Des Moines, Iowa passed up Salt Lake City, Utah as the largest per capita consumers of Jell-O in the world. Yet the Jell-O museum is in neither city. It is, oddly enough, located in tiny LeRoy, New York. Can someone explain this to me? No? Guess sometime's that's just the way the Jell-O judicates.

Lots of news to report on the status of Straight, Incorporated.

Orlando-based SAFE, a direct descendant of the Straight, Inc. line of adolescent rehab centers, is now subject to a civil suit. Director Loretta Parrish was served with a summons last week. This is great news. The suit alleges negligence, false imprisonment, breach of written contract, fraud and RICO violations. The suit was filed on behalf of Chris Manoly and Jeff Henschel, SAFE clients in 1999, and their fathers Kamal Manoly and Claude Henschel. Click here to watch a Miami television station WAMI's expose on the SAFE center. Parrish is prominent, outspoken and positively unrepentant in the video. Good to see she'll have a day in court.

I also spoke on the phone recently with Sammie Monroe. Since the Fox story ran, she's been in contact with both her sister and her mother, both of whom she hadn't seen in years. Both relatives contacted her to confirm the details of her story. She also got a letter from a Sarasota Straight client serving in the facility the same time she was there. He too confirms her story. Sammie also tells me she's been promised some time with Florida Senator Bob Graham to discuss her Straight experiences. All great news.

On the "black helicopter" front, apparently one of the designated speakers at the Straight survivors reunion conference earlier this month (sponsored by the Trebach Institute) was arrested on his way to the event. He was released after the conference, apparently without being charged, and without an explanation. I'm waiting on further documentation and details, so take this one with a grain of skepticism, at least for the time being. Sammie also tells me her apartment was broken into (again).

In my research for a longer magazine treatment of the Fox piece, I've found at least three other Straight progeny still in operation, still employing Straight's abusive, aggressive rehab tactics -- one in Maine; one in Calgary, Alberta, and the Orlando branch of SAFE.

Two other items: Check out this piece on the Semblers written for the Italian newsweekly Carta by American University's Arnold Trebach.

Finally, see the below letter written by the Drug Free America Foundation (fronted by Betty Sembler) requesting the revocation of the Massachusetts medical license of Harvard Professor and retired medical doctor Lester Grinspoon. Why? Because Grinspoon had the audacity to advocate the legal use of medicinal marijuana, and admitted to being a user himself. Keep in mind that DFAF isn't affiliated in Massachusetts, and had no complaints from any past patient of Grinspoon's. Add to that that Grinspoon is retired from practicing medicine, and it becomes clear that DFAF's attempt to revoke Grinspoon's liscence appears to have been for the sole purpose of discrediting him. Grinspoon's introduction comes first, and his response follows the DFAF letter.

In a letter from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts Board of Registration in Medicine dated September 7, 2001 I was told that the Board had "received a complaint regarding [my] conduct.... The Board is obligated by law to investigate such matters relating to the proper practice of medicine. In compliance with this mandate, the Board's Complaint Committee has directed the staff of the Board to gather information..." "Please provide a written response to the issues raised in the enclosed material.... Under the law, the person filing the enclosed complaint may have access to your response. Your response should be sent to me... within 30 days of your receipt of this letter." The letter was signed by Kathleen M. Shea, Consumer Protection Manager, Commonwealth of Massachusetts Board of Registration in Medicine. The "enclosed material" consisted of a letter and a number of attached documents. The letter on Drug Free America Foundation, Inc. letterhead was dated July 31, 2001 and reads as follows:

Dear Sirs:

I am writing to you out of concern about the legal and ethical conduct of a physician who is reportedly licensed to practice medicine in the state of Massachusetts. It was reported in the August issue of the pro-drug magazine, High Times, in a portion of a report on the annual conference of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), that Dr. Lester Grinspoon had divulged his own personal use of marijuana. The article quoted him as saying "I was 44 years old in 1972 when I experienced my first marijuana high. Because I found it both useful and benign, I have used it ever since."

As an organization that has dealt with substance abuse for years, we have seen the devastation to lives caused by the use of marijuana. We are keenly aware of the fact that marijuana not only destroys the health of the user, but, it also impairs the user's ability to function in a logical and safe manner. Our knowledge of the effects of marijuana use causes us to question the wisdom of a doctor being allowed to practice medicine when he admits to using a dangerous, mind-altering drug.

Doesn't Dr. Grinspoon's use of an illegal drug put his patients in danger and doesn't this in some manner violate the laws and code of ethics that govern the conduct of physicians in the state of Massachusetts?

Regards,

Calvina L. Fay
Executive Director

The attachments were as follows:

(1) The article from the August issue of High Times titled " NORML Turns 4/20". The offending paragraphs were highlighted by Drug-free America Foundation and read as follows:

Amid individual pronouncements by big-time politicians and sermons from ever-grayer movement luminaries, the event's emotional peak came in a personal testimonial from an elderly doctor on just what cannabis, as he primly called it, had done for him. Yes, the life-enhancing, creativity-fueling, sex-stimulating and munchie-eating joys of getting stoned were elucidated in courtly fashion by Dr. Lester Grinspoon, formerly a Harvard Medical School professor and chairman of the NORML Board. A man of serious mien as well as mind, he said that while pot's recreational uses are well known, and its medicinal benefits increasingly accepted, what's left woefully unsaid is its capacity for sheer enhancement.

"I was 44 years old in 1972 when I experienced my first marijuana high," Dr. Grinspoon explained. "Because I found it both useful and benign, I have used it ever since." He spoke of resolving challenging life issues by pondering them both stoned and straight. In fact, he credited "stoned self-critiques" with helping him reject the ultimately stultifying practice of psychoanalysis (that is, with the patient prostrate on the couch before the omniscient doctor) in favor of less-distancing therapies.

He called for people in the business, academic and professional worlds to come out of the closet regarding marijuana. To that end, he's pursuing what he calls the "Uses of Marijuana Project" (marijuana-uses.com), an ethnographic exercise on how pot has enhanced users' lives. As Dr. Grinspoon put it, "I cannot possibly convey the breadth of things it helps me to appreciate, to think about, to gain new insights into."

(2) A copy of the Introduction to The Uses of Marijuana Project web site in which I identify myself as a cannabis user and invite other users who find cannabis enhances some aspect(s) of their lives to submit an essay for possible inclusion in the collection.

(3) A copy of an essay I wrote for The Uses of Marijuana Project web site (Some Introductory Remarks for the Uses of Marijuana Project) in which I provide some details of the history of my discovery of marijuana's usefulness to me.

(4) A copy of a short essay I wrote for The Uses of Marijuana Project web site ("Mr. Barr and the Fountain of Youth"), a brief account of my appearance before the Subcommittee on Crime of the House Judiciary Committee on the subject of medical marijuana. Mr. William McCollum, Mr. Asa Hutchinson, and Mr. Bob Barr were particularly hostile. The essay speaks to some later stoned reflections on Mr. Barr's insistence that I had outdone Ponce de Leon inasmuch as I had apparently discovered the Fountain of Youth (he spoke sarcastically of his misinterpretation of the chapter title "Marijuana and Aging" in Marijuana, the Forbidden Medicine, a book he had not read).

After consulting with Professor Charles Nesson (Harvard Law School), I responded to the letter from Ms. Shea on September 18, 2001 as follows:

Re: Calvina Fay
Docket Number: 01-464

Dear Ms. Shea,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond to the complaint filed by Ms. Fay on behalf of the Drug Free America Foundation, Inc.

The complaint was not brought by a patient of mine, or by anyone who has had any personal contact with any of my patients. In my more than 40-year practice of psychiatry in Massachusetts, I have received only the most favorable feedback from my patients. The complainant here, the Drug Free America Foundation, Inc., is a private, highly partisan, political-advocacy organization whose positions on certain drug policy issues sharply conflict with those I have taken throughout my academic career at the Harvard Medical School. This complaint seems to be political in its aims, a cynical and inappropriate attempt to make use of the Board's investigatory procedures to discredit me.

With respect to the subject matter of the complaint, it does not allege any specific misconduct in the practice of medicine, inadequate medical care or patient harm. Rather, the complaint is based on the complainant's anachronistic belief that any use of cannabis "impairs the user's ability to function in a logical and safe manner". In "question[ing] the wisdom" of my "being allowed to practice medicine," Ms. Fay has filed a complaint, which is both frivolous and lacking in merit.

I respectfully request that the Board dismiss this complaint.

Sincerely yours,

Lester Grinspoon MD

Speak o' the devil. Given the post below, South African President Mbeki's op-ed in the NY Times this morning is particularly galling.

Andrew Sullivan says marriage rights for gays ought to come naturally as "civil rights." He even says that "this issue alone" is reason enough to vote for Robert Reich as Massachusetts governor, given that he's endorsed said gay marriage policy. Shame, Andrew. How can a self-labeled conservative make such an assertion, given that Reich is dead-wrong on every other issue imaginable? Would Sullivan really rather live under the hammer of a clueless borderline-socialist, simply so he can have the comfort of state recognition that he's committed to his partner? If two people are committed, why do they need the approval of a governor or state legislature?

I'm agnostic on gay marriage. In truth, I don't think the state should sanction any marriage, gay or straight. Why do we need government to bestow its blessing on what is a very personal, private and usually religious commitment? Let's privatize marriage. Let couples draw up their own marriage contracts, and bring the state in only to enforce them, as it does with any other private contract. As for "marriage benefits" -- visitation rights in hospitals, life insurance, etc. -- let each company decide on its own what its policy will be. Yes, there will be homophobes and religious zealots who refuse to recognize same-sex "unions," but surely a market will emerge for same-sex life insurance, gay-friendly workplaces, and so on. There's too much money in the gay community for that not to happen.

Drudge says Guns n' Roses' long awaited "Chinese Democracy" album is due for a Labor Day release. I use the name "Guns n' Roses" loosely, as Duff, Izzy and Slash are gone. The band now is Axl. And still, I'm pretty sure now of what will be spinning in my car's CD player come summer's last weekend.

The Samizdatans are squabbling over Objectivism. I'd like to go drinking with these cats.

This guy is good. Be sure and read to the end.

More on Africa. Richard D. North for Tech Central - Europe. A brilliant article on how European and American farm subsidies and regressive anti-globo nonsense team up to keep African farms small and useless, and keep Africans generally poor and hungry. Very, very well written.

An eloquent response to David Waltman from a South African, who asked I not identify him by name. I still maintain that aid could possibly help stifle the AIDS pandemic in the most impoverished of African countries. South Africa is a bit of an anomaly, I think, because be it out of pride or embarrassment, South African President Mbeki refuses to acknowledge the obscene rates of HIV-infection in his country. He's got the souls of many sick and dead on his hands.

Remember too that lots of black leaders in the U.S. refused to draw attention to HIV rates in Africa for fear of perpetuating moronic stereotypes about the sexual and carnal prowess of blacks (a situation similar, I think, to the refusal of Jesse Jackson and the gang to acknowledge the Sudanese slave trade). It's vitally important -- and certainly not racist or elitist -- to recognize that some cultural practices are contributing to the deaths of millions and millions of people. The practice of "dry sex" in many sub-Saharan African countries, for example -- where women are so forbidden from sexual pleasure that they're forced to endure the roughest, most uncomfortable, unhygenic methods of intercourse imaginable -- is a huge contributor to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. But for a long time, sensitive westerners have been loathe to expose the practice, let alone work toward discontinuing it. Here, PC literally kills.

I'm digressing. Back to aid.

The gentleman below uses South Africa to make some excellent points about the difficulty in making transfers "transparent," and the inevitability of graft, corruption, and general incompetence as aid capital journeys from its sources to its intended destination:

I wish to refer to some of the comments raised by David Waltman on the AIDS
issue in Sub-Saharan Africa, where you gave his response to your Bono
column.

Mr Waltman comments that 'It is not only the US's obligation but a global
obligation, a moral obligation to rid sub-Saharan Africa of AIDS.' However,
focussing on South Africa's severe AIDS crisis, the argument for increased
aid is not necessarily simple and denominated by a 'feel-good' emotional
appeal. The South African Government in particular has employed a myriad of
confusing strategies and ideas to both avoid any responsibility for or need
to combat AIDS and HIV. As a South African, I feel that these need to be
pointed out.

The first and obvious case is related to South African President Thabo
Mbeki's persistent refusal to acknowledge the scientifically established
link between AIDS and HIV, having previously thrown in his lot with AIDS
dissidents that subscribed to medical fallacies. This denial was also
extended to the Health ministry’s refusal to allow Nevirapine or other anti-
retroviral drugs to be administered at public hospitals or clinics on the
basis that they were potentially dangerous. Of late though this attitude
has changed with the link between HIV and AIDS being recognised, but
opposition to and problems with the extension of the provision of anti-AIDS
and HIV drugs and services remains.

Another, as the 24 March 2002 edition of Newsweek confirmed in an article
on South Africa, was the promotion by the South African Government of a
spurious locally developed AIDS treatment, which was based on nothing more
than a chemical used in dry cleaning. This treatment also followed
Nkosazana Zuma, the previous Health Ministers own publicised attempt at
AIDS education through a pork-bellied stage production known as ‘Sarafina
II’. This cost taxpayers millions in US Dollars terms, but only reached a
few thousand viewers.

Trevor Manuel, the South African Finance Minister, though commented at the
World Economic Forum earlier in the year that the problem was not
availability of cash, but the ability to spend and deliver, in response to
Jeffrey Sachs. The lack of ability to provide these services or drugs is
true, as the provision of the treatments is also problematic due to
bureaucracy, corruption and graft inherent in the public medical and state
systems. South Africa’s GDP is meanwhile in the region of $140 Billion,
which indicates it to not be incapable of funding its own anti-AIDS and
anti-HIV measures. This comes at a time when the government refuses to
suspend a controversial $6 Billion plus arms programme, when there is no
discernable threat to South Africa to warrant such expenditure and the
monies should instead be (or have been) redirected to the AIDS crisis or
private sector through lower taxes. Direct governmental expenditure as a
percentage of the South African economy also amounts to 34%, but this
figure is excludes the extent of control held over state run monopolies and
other state-influenced business or industries. This figure then appears to
rise to the region of 40%. The irony is that the South African government
is actively ‘outsourcing’ some of the public functions to the private
sector, with better results. This though is not being done in the medical
sector and instead laws are passed where private clinic, hospitals and
medical aids have to cover for the cost of AIDS and HIV.

This also comes at a time when the Government attacked the local branches
of the Pharamceutical companies which developed these anti-AIDS or HIV
drugs. This came on the back of the claim that they were 'illegally
profiting' from the AIDS crisis with the shrill cries of support from left-
wing elements. Subsequently these companies offered to supply them to the
Government at nominal amounts, but then the South African Government
refused to accept the offer, retreating back to its confusing stances on
AIDS and HIV.

Ultimately, the issue here is that the South African and other Sub-Saharan
Governments had an opportunity more then several years ago to respond to
the AIDS issue with vigour actively to avoid the growing crisis and
increasing damage to economic growth, but choose not to. The incompetence
of these governments and their refusal to show any responsibility or will
to take necessary action has resulted in the rapid increase in infections
and increased costs for their own economies and populations. Thus, the
confusing actions of the South African Government in particular appear due
to its unwillingness to admit or face its prior errors and potentially
receive a handout. Unlike South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe and other
countries being touted as the likely beneficiaries of this aid, Uganda
instead choose to actively confront the spread of AIDS and HIV at a time
when these recipient countries would not confront the issue of AIDS. As a
result, its infection rates have notably decreased and its AIDS problem is
under greater control, despite being a far poorer country than the
aforementioned and receiving very limited amounts of aid from donors
compared to what is now being touted as being distributed to the
irresponsible nations. Zimbabwe’s populace is meanwhile in the grip of
highly oppressive and violent rule from Zanu-PF, which considers its hold
on power as being paramount to anything else, while Botswana is not
completely helpless with its growing economy from increased diamond mining
and government taxes thereon.

In conclusion, I find it interesting that Waltman would claim that First
World Nations, (likely through increased taxes levied on their citizens),
have a moral obligation to pay for the ills arising from the incompetence,
irresponsibility, oppression and bad governance of said third world
nations. If anything it overlooks reality and factual events, much like his
emotional appeal to the philosophy of ‘transparent transfers’ to counter
the evidence that aid encourages either corruption or waste in its
recipients. In reality, those transfers can be as transparent as possible,
but even that is not going to prevent graft or waste of the funds. Actual
auditing of the money flows does not necessarily prevent abuse when
governmental focus is solely on spending any monies in its possession, and
the case of Enron shows that auditors can be thwarted (not just in the
States or in the first world, but in the third world as well). Auditing may
serve to highlight problems, but even when there is known fraud, little or
no action is taken as the courts demand factual evidence of money flows
(when either the perpetrator will have destroyed the evidence, or no record
was ever kept) or parties have conspired as a result of lack of controls
inherent in governmental agencies and departments (The Sarafina II saga I
mentioned earlier was meanwhile also carried out with donor funds at the
time). However it seems that regardless of the evidence pointing to the
ineffectiveness of aid or background details to the spread of AIDS in the
third world, some seem to wish to provide your nations taxpayers monies to
the incompetent regardless by using euphemistic words and statements to
whitewash the truth.

Andrew Sullivan reflects on the ninth anniverary of his testing HIV positive. Pretty amazing how far treatment has come. He says he's been off the "cocktail" drugs for over a year, and his immune system's actually in better shape than it was when he got his "death sentence."

Wow. Last night, Chris Robinson exceeded my wildest expectations. In our pre-concert build-up routine, my friends and I were mocking the former Black Crowes front man a little -- as only hard-core TBC groupies can -- expecting him to take some shots at brother Rich, drummer Steve Gorman (who instigated the bands' break-up), and to generally portray himself the male diva he's been throughout the span of the Crowes' career. We expected fawning Kate Hudson tributes (and, unfortunately, we got one), lots of self-indulgence and, to be honest, we wouldn't have been at all surprised if he put in thirty bratty minutes, never acknowledged the crowd, then sauntered off the stage.

About five minutes into the show, just after Robinson had finished a soulful, contemplative new tune called "Silver Car," my friend pulled me aside.

"I take back everything bad I said about this show," he whispered. "I'm fucking awestruck."

I concurred.

The stage consisted of two chairs, two mics, a few guitar stands, and about a dozen candles. Pretty minimalist. No opener, either. To be honest, I really didn't know what to expect, but such a spare set was pretty low on my list. I grew pleasantly buzzed with anticipation. Then, the 9:30 Club's voice of God addressed the audience.

This would be an acoustic set, he said, "low volume."

"Please take your conversations to the back of the club."

Well, now I was stoked. Would we be seeing a new man, tonight?

With no fanfare, Robinson took the stage.

First shocker of the night: He cut his hair. Robinson came out looking positively Claptonish, with smartly parted, neck-length hair and a thick, soccer-dad, almost-suburbanite beard. He wore a dark green fishing vest, dress slacks, and bright turquoise canvas shoes. He was accompanied on stage by a very talented slide acoustic guitarist who's name escapes me, but whom Robinson evidently met while living for a bit in London.

Whoops and whistles.

"Love the hair, Chris!"

"Thanks," and a shy smile.

Second shocker: the first cover. Robinson opts for the beautiful Fred Neil song "Dolphins," popularized in live shows by a Neil contemporary, the late, great Tim Buckley (yes, the father of the also late, also great Jeff Buckley). A magnificent song. An inspired choice.

And, there you have it, right off the bat, a won house. A wrenching, throaty interpretation. No show tonight, folks. Just music.

The rest of the set was candy: A lovely original from Robinson's upcoming solo LP called "Untangle My Mind," and a breezy beach sleeper, "Mint Tea."

Third shocker: Ray Charles! I know what you're thinking. I was thinking it too. Who does this Georgia white boy think he is, trying to pull off Ray Charles? And with only one acoustic and one slide accompaniment at his disposal? And with all of Charles' oeuvre to chose from, why pick "I Got a Woman," one of the great ones' dirtiest, bluesiest, raspiest tunes on record? Yes, I was thinking these things, too.

Jesus, was I wrong. Jesus, did he pull it off. I forget sometimes. Robinson defines blue-eyed soul. The whole damned club was mesmerized. It was at this point I noticed one of my female friends, never a big Crowes' fan -- and whom I had to goad into going to the show -- had ditched the group and was finagling her way to the front of the stage.

Good for her.

We then got some banter -- fan-friendly chat -- something never much expected at a Crowes' show. Robinson jested with a quick, fleeting reference to "that other band," which of course wrought the playful wrath of the crowd.

"Wow," he said, "Did I disparage? I didn't disparage. That's what they are. They're another band."

We all shared a chuckle. This was funny. The room's big elephant paid his tab and left out the back.

Robinson followed with a precious behind-the-scenes story of a multi-act mega-concert deal he'd played early in his career, one in which the Stones and Bob Dylan were also on the bill. It was, he said, the first time he met Dylan. But that's not the funny part.

Dylan, it seems, was to sit in for a tune with Mick, Keith and the boys. Watching from offstage, Robinson noted that the Stones' were gassed on whatever their drug of choice happened to be in the early 90's, and consequently tanked the backup they were supposed to be giving Dylan onstage. As Dylan walked off, Keith Richards mockingly thanked Dylan for sitting in, to which Dylan angrily unrolled a double-middle-finger salute and hollered, "FUCK YOU, RICHARDS! FUCK YOU!"

I LIVE for stories like that.

More treats? A cover of Badfinger's "Day After Day," (Badfinger!), followed by a lovely rendition of Dylan's "You're a Big Girl Now." And mega-plaudits to Robinson's accompaniment. It kills me that I can't remember his name, but the guy's got some serious pluck.

Robinson missed a bit with an original tune that I think had something to do with robbing trains. Not entirely sure because I took a bathroom break halfway through. And the night's only major disappointment (actually, it was kind of fulfilling, given that we were waiting for it from the moment we bought tickets) came in Robinson's encore, in which he unleashed the obligatory "Katie, Dear," a sappy, cliche-ridden tribute to his beautiful bride that -- I'm not kidding -- had a line that mentioned how their "two hearts sometimes beat as one." Drunk and belligerent, I regrettably heard myself holler "YOKO!" one, two, damn, was that three times?

Given that I was about ten feet from Chris (I feel I can call him "Chris" now), that's a good thirty-five seconds of my life I wouldn't mind having back. Surely he heard it. Surely at that moment, Radley Balko was in the mind of Chris Robinson a serious schmuck. Had I been three gin and tonics lighter, I would've been embarrassed.

Yoko jokes aside, I think we might have in Chris/Kate a rock rarity -- the marriage that betters the musician. I think it's given Robinson some grounding. I remember being struck at the introspection, imagery, and originality of his lyrics (again, still pretending "Katie, Dear" never happened), a nice surprise given that Crowes' albums have been on the lyrical downswing since Amorica, and probably since Southern Harmony. The tail-feather-shakin' diva Robinson played in Crowes' documentaries and "Behind the Music" was absent, too -- replaced, really, by a contemplative, genuine, serious songwriter. We got none of the indulgent, vocally-gymnastic oversinging Robinson sometimes obliged himself in past Crowes' acoustic sets. Instead, he paid magnificent justice to artists he borrowed from, and gave a filling, inspired, and thoroughly musical preview of the solo CD he's got coming.

Robinson's in Boston tonight, and in New York tomorrow. At $15, this show's a steal. Go see it. Then send me an email to thank me.

I'm off to the Chris Robinson show tonight. Expect a write-up.

Cards pitcher Darryl Kile is dead. Cubs-Cards game this afternoon is cancelled. No details just yet. What an awful week for Cardinals fans.

LET THE MIGHTY EAGLE SOAR

Chris Suellentrop writes as fair an assessment of Attorney General Ashcroft and his critics as I've read to date. I think it's right on the nose. I'm no fan of Ashcroft's -- I had the chance to vote for him while living in Missouri in 2000 and didn't -- but he's certainly not the devil incarnate (how's that for an irony-laden choice of words?) his critics make him out to be. He's been dead wrong on more than a few issues -- going after terminally ill people who a) want to end their lives in Oregon, and b) who want to ease the pain a bit with marijuana in California, are two examples. But there are far worse people out there making and enforcing policy at the moment. Just please make him stop singing.

Here's a well-thought, articulate response to my Bono column:

I thought you might like to know that I think you are right about Bono's sincerity. However, I think you have missed some of his thoughts on Africa. Africa has been in U2/Bono's mind since 1985 and Live Aid. This isn't something that came up and he will walk away from. After Bono met with Dr. Jeffrey Sachs of Harvard/United Nations, he asked to meet with the most conservative economist who was an expert on Africa as well. I can't recall exactly who this was but I think it gave Bono a pretty well-rounded view of Africa's plight. If you listen closely, Bono actually talks a great deal about opening up trade avenues with Africa with the United States and Europe. In fact, protecting U.S. farmers has been one obstacle in this approach. In any regard, I think Bono is in agreement with you on trade, not disagreement. His worry is fair trade and the more negative consequences of globalization.

As far as the large amounts of money that are part of government to government transfers there are a couple of things to consider. One, Bono addresses the "corrupt African dictator" argument by supporting transfers that are transparent. This means that the money must be followed and on the open books. Countries should be able to decide whether or not the money is spent on schools, medicine, or clean water but in the end the money can be tracked from beginning to end. This was the main purpose of O'Neill's trip with Bono--to find proof that money can be turned into important, life-saving, economically stimulating projects. In fact, O'Neill said that clean water should be the focus of many projects because it has a huge impact on decreasing disease. Secondly, the AIDS pandemic is a serious, serious, situation. One of your readers complains about losing his job to a foreign country and struggling to make a mortgage payment. I can understand and empathize with one's own perception of their personal problems but at the same time I think many Americans fail to realize the magnitude of the AIDS situation in Africa and how complex and devastating this disease has become. Just the read last year's UN Report on this topic to try to get some understanding on the far-reaching effects of this disease. It is not only the US's obligation but a global obligation, a moral obligation to rid sub-Saharan Africa of AIDS. A similar, devastating AIDS pandemic is around the corner in China & India if the world and their own governments don't respond.

My final comments are more directed toward some of the reader comments. People often say, put your own money where your mouth is, to people like Bono. I don't think anyone really knows for sure what Bono does with his money...he might very well donate to many charities. I do know what he does with his own time. He meets with world leaders, he travels to Africa to learn first-hand about these important issues, he educates himself by meeting with experts on trade, economics, Africa, etc. And Bono has been doing this for decades...not a couple of months. Debt relief and foreign aid are hardly glamorous issues that bring attention to the band. U2 is a popular band that has brought attention to important, complex issues.

In the end, I want to say that no one can bring together the Pope, Bill Clinton, Jesse Helms, George W. Bush, Kofi Annan, Tony Blair, Paul O'Neill, and other G8 leaders and agree on certain things without having a full understanding of all sides of the issue. While debate is important, so is action. Americans need to be educated about the plight of the world's poorest people. Americans need to be educated about the AIDS pandemic. Americans need to be educated about what programs and countries have had success in economic development (with the help of debt relief and foreign aid) and decreasing the rate of AIDS infections. Then maybe more action will take place...effective action. Please consider this approach to a future column.

Thank you for your time,
Dave Waltman
Webster, NY

Mr. Waltman's points on the AIDS pandemic are well-taken. Brink Lindsey, who knows more about trade than I could ever hope to, likewise points out that aid sometimes serves well for emergency purposes -- famines, outbreaks of disease, disasters, refugee crises, etc. But continual outlays of aid will never help developing countries make the leap to exchange economies. Only investment, trade and commerce will do that. And, in fact, not only does foreign aid not help to make that leap, it's more likely a barrier.

I also disagree with Mr. Waltman's assertions of "transparent" transfers and "following the money." I just don't think it's possible. We've been talking about "accountably" in foreign aid since we've been giving foreign aid. Time and again, "accountability" has proven more poetry than pragmatism.

The bottom line is that foreign aid will always need to be filtered through some central, bureaucratic body. And any time vast outlays of aid are filtered through a centralized body, you create an atmosphere rife with potential for waste, abuse, fraud and, probably worst of all, the kinds of central planning schemes that have failed over and over and over again. Markets are really the only way to distribute capital and resources where they're needed -- and thus get developing economies off the ground. A UN bureaucrat or an NGO doctoral student can get wells dug, can purify water, can immunize, and can perhaps build schools where they're needed. But they can't build an economy. And until these countries have dynamic economies, we'll be forever building wells, purifying water, immunizing, and building new schools from the rubble of the old ones.

Peter Bauer wrote, "To have money is the result of economic achievement, not its precondition." (Emphasis mine.) Jim Dorn wrote a lovely obituary of Bauer for Tech Central Station, which articulates many of these points better than I have. Or take a look at this, another obituary, this one by Nobel laureate James M. Buchanan. Or read all about Bauer at this site.

Mr. Waltman and I, I think at least have the same goals: less poverty, more wealth. That's a start. I really don't think the same can can be said for many of the anti-globalization zealots. Most of them I've encountered seem to take the odd position that too many people are living in poverty but that, oddly, wealth (which, far as I know, is the only remedy to poverty) and capitalism, the only means of creating wealth, are themselves profanities to be purged and shunned.

Where more reasonable people like Mr. Waltman and I disagree, I think, is on the means to creating wealth. If you look at the historical evidence -- Africa versus Southeast Asia, for example -- it seems clear to me that aid and central planning perpetuate poverty, while investment and markets eradicate it.

Hot Dog Boy.

He makes movies that make me laugh. Thanks to Treach for the link. Speaking of Jim Treacher, it seems he's already beaten me to the punch with the "blog glossary" idea. Dammit. OK, Treach, here's a challenge: how about a word for the process of discovering that, after coming up with what you thought was a kinda' cool idea, some other blogger came up with it months before you did?

And one other thing, Treach: You seem to have confused me with Gene Healy. I am Radley Balko. Gene Healy is over here. Here's how you can tell us apart: I am handsome and witty and intelligent. Gene is a lawyer.

RADLEY, ITALIANO

Here's the link to my Straight story published in the Italian newsweekly Carta. News on the same front: the editor of FoxNews.com has promised me a detailed explanation for the whole pulling-the-story imbroglio sometime next week. I'll keep you informed.

Happened to be channel surfing last night and stumbled across Lou Dobbs' Moneyline on CNN. Dobbs ran a juicy little story about Martha Stewart. Seems that Louisiana Rep. Billy Tauzin will be heading the committee investigating the insider trading brouhaha involving Stewart's eponymous empire. So by thorough coincidence, guess what rerun Martha's production company ran of her show last week? 'Twas a more-than-a-year-old episode where Martha cooks up some yummy Cajun gumbo with special guest....Congressman Billy Tauzin. Savvy broad, that Martha.

Here's yet another site for you to check into. Eric McErlain muses on sports, free markets and music. Works for me. His latest post, in fact, is what inspired the gleeful schadenfreude below. My advice: steer clear of minced words. Howdoya really feel, Eric? Crikee. It's a nice site, though, and soon to be permalinked here.

BLOG'S LANDING

I was waiting for this to happen. The blogosphere's getting juicy. Everyone was getting along too well for too long. Finally we get some dirt! Eric Olsen has the scoop.

My take? Asparagirl can flat write. But I strongly suspect she wouldn't get nearly the plaudits she gets were she not "precocious" and "spunky" and "cute," and were she not the inspiration of many a boy-bloggers' nocturnal emission. And, sorry, but her "used-condom-on-the-nighstand" and "days-of-sweet-lovin'" posts were a little embarassing, I thought. But it's her blog. She's free to post as she pleases.

More to the point, IMHO, the Israel-oughtta-nuke-the-Palestinians post was rather disgusting. And Pejman Yousefzadeh's rhetorical cunninlingus in response to said post was thoroughly nauseating. Then again, methinks Pejman was posting with his penis, and who among us hasn't done something goofy whilst thinking with the ol' John Henry? God knows I have.

I'm just stoked that we have some drama.

GIVES ME AN ITCH FOR A BOURBON -- AND A TYPEWRITER

Charles Bukowski on drinking....

"...it gets me out of the normal person that I am. Like I don't have to face this person day after day, year after year . . .The guy that brushes his teeth, he goes to the bathroom, he drives on the freeway, he stays sober forever. He only has one life, you see. Drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now. But a man who drinks, he can become this other person. He has a whole new life. He is different when he is drinking. I'm not saying that he is better or worse. But he is different. And this gives a man two lives. And that's usually in my other life, my drinking life, that I do my writing. So, since I've been lucky with the writing, I've decided drink is very good for me."

-- From Drinking With Bukowski: Recollections of the Poet Laureate of Skid Row

Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune (link requires registration) says that (surprise!) he's disappointed in Tiger Woods for lacking a "social conscience." Hee hee. Love it when my prescience is proved. But it's not a generic "social conscience" Morrissey wants to see, it's a liberal, er, I mean progressive social conscience.

What Tiger Woods stands for is excellence in golf and excellence in making money. Nothing else. In that sense, he fits perfectly into today's society. He is the cheapest kind of role model, the safest kind. He's the kind of role model who doesn't make you think, doesn't challenge you in any deep way. There's no effort involved. Just slap his poster on your wall and begin venerating....

...If Woods ever takes a stand, the bet here is that it will be over oppressive tax laws. He learned at the knee of Michael Jordan, who mastered the art of hawking products while standing for absolutely nothing. It would take hypnosis and a team of horses to drag Jordan's social consciousness into the light of day.

And, a correction. Tiger does stand for something. He stands for achievement. He stands for the supremacy of merit, for dogged determination, and for the power of new thinking and innovation. Tiger, for example, inspired a tour of set-in-their-ways PGA good ol' boys to start lifting weights when his own weight program added yards to his drive and gave him pull through the rough. And, after winning his first Masters by about thirty-seven strokes, Tiger did the unthinkable -- he completely retooled his swing. The process resulted in him falling back in the rankings for a bit, before emerging, again, at the top of golf -- with a game enexplicably more competitive.

But achievement means nothing to lefty sports scribes. They'd rather Tiger opine mindlessly on some cause he knows nothing about, which would at least make him more interesting to them, which then gives them something to write about. Because they're never going to write about how Tiger represents the best in capitalism, in the power of competition, and the best in achievement.

I'd lay into Morrissey more, but I'd really just be rehashing the points I've already made in this column. Thanks to law school buddy Eric Robben for directing me to the article.

Gene Healy takes me to task for the post below on Atkins v. Virginia, the case where the Supreme Court yesterday ruled that the states can't execute the mentally retarded. I'm loathe to admit my ignorance, but Gene's persuaded me that I'm wrong. The Fifth Amendment's plain language states "No person shall...be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law." The clear implication being that, so long as there is due process, the states are then permitted to take a life (after, of course, it's run through the 14th Amendment). Further, while I'm certainly of the opinion that executing the retarded is cruel, it's hard case to make that it's unusual, and both standards need to be met for the punishment to barred under the Eighth Amendment.

So I'll concede. The death penalty -- even for the retarded -- likely passes Constitutional muster. And Gene's point refuting the "living document" argument -- that the Constitution ought to change as our values change -- is well taken.

But that of course only means that the federal government can't bar the states from executing people. It certainly doesn't mean that the states are required to have a death penalty. There are lots of things the federal government allows the states to do (or, were we living in country whose federal government was bound by its Constitutional powers, there are lots of things the federal government should allow the state to do). But just because the states are Constitutionally permitted to do something doesn't mean they ought to do it. Using tax dollars to execute citizens who've been deemed guilty by a biased, arbitrary, and often bloodlusty process of capital criminal justice is pretty high on my list of things states are permitted to do, but really probably shouldn't.

So I guess my quarrel here is with the states that execute the retarded, not with the Supreme Court for allowing them to. Thanks to Gene for keeping me on my toes in what was really a pretty lazy post.

The Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that states can't execute the mentally retarded.

"Execute the mentally retarded."

Doesn't that sound like something we should've stopped doing a long, long time ago? Sad to say, my favorite S.C. justice, Clarence "Long Dong" Thomas, voted with the minority. You're making it really tough for me to call you a "libertarian," Justice Thomas.

Quck! Somebody spackle the Vice President!

More Bono love:

So what if Bono uses his celebrity status to rally for a topic he feels so strongly about. Wouldn't you? You are using your position as a "journalist" to get your views out to the public. I say leave Bono alone and let him continue getting the word out. Really listen to the lyrics of any U2 song and you too will see how deep and spiritual Bono is. This is one "rock star" who has a clue about the things that really matter, not about which groupie he is going to get or how high he can get. Yes, Bono is a rich man. So what. He works hard for what he does. He is rich in the sense that he has made a difference in so many lives. Again, listen to the lyrics of the songs and "U2" will understand what a compasionate, emotionally charged man Bono is.

And to be honest, with a few exceptions, U2 tunes are really kinda' vague. They write broad lyrics intentionally, I think, so people can morph them to fit their own situations, and thus come off thinking Bono's writing "just for them.". Sort of like a horoscope, or a psychic.

Look, I like Bono's music. I really do. But he's not a prophet. Or a sage. Or a diplomat. He's a pop star. He's fallible (listen to Pop if you need proof). And he certainly doesn't have the answer to world poverty. Think about this insanity for a minute. We're looking to a musician for advice on how to save the developing world. This makes sense to you?

What's worse, his prescription is dead wrong. If you want to jock Bono for writing great songs, I won't fault you. If you want to jock him for drawing attention to world poverty, that's not such a bad thing either. But don't jock him for sticking his hand into the collective American wallet to solve the world's problems. That's never worked. It never will work. It'll only ensure that more people stay hungry for a long time to come.

OK, Blogger just did something funky to that last post. Hang with me.

The funniest old media writers still producing:

1. PJ O' Rourke (Atlantic Monthly, Men's Journal, Rolling Stone, etc.)
2. Dave Barry (Miami Herald)
3. Gene Weingarten (Washington Post)
4. Joel Stein (Time Magazine)

Who's Joel Stein? Glad you asked. He's been writing for Time for a while now. Not sure why he's not more known than he is. I think he's currently writing a pilot for some sort of cartoon series (and I hear the soundtrack will be supplied by one of my very favorite bands, Fountains of Wayne). Here's Stein's latest, on World Cup soccer, and why it doesn't go over so well in the U.S. I think he's wrong. But he's a very funny at being wrong.

Eve Tushnet offers up some choice addtions to the "Bloggers' Glossary..."

Les liaisons bloggereuses -- the act of seducing/wooing someone via your blogsite.

Hopping on the blogwagon -- big media types who start their own blogs (I prefer blogwaggoning).

In response to my request for a word to describe the process of post-editing a hastily written, inflammatory blog-entry after thinking better of it, but doing so covertly, Eve suggests defumigating the blog, unposting, ass-checking, Marty McFlying, drive-by blogging, and, my favorite, blogwashing.

Eve also says we should come up with a term for people who gripe about blog-genres other than the type their own sites fit into. Techies who gripe about libertarian/conservative blogs, for example, or warbloggers who shame lefty bloggers. I agree. There should be a word for this. But it's too early in the morning for me to think of one.

Luis Castillo, playing for the surprisingly undreadful Marlins, pushed his hitting streak to 33 games last night. That ties him with Rogers Hornsby for the longest streak ever by a second baseman, and gives him baseball's longest such streak since 1987. He's still 26 games from Dimaggio, though, so don't hold your breath just yet.

NPR SUCKS

And the Pope is Catholic. And zoo bears shit on concrete. So what? Read this:

NPR Online's Linking Policy

Linking to or framing of any material on this site without the prior written consent of NPR is prohibited. If you would like to link to NPR from your Web site, please fill out the link permission request form. (http://www.npr.org/about/linking_form.html)

Take that. And that. And that. Commies.

Reader John Lowell sends this gem in response to my Bono column. It's of course of no surprise that Bono, an Irish citizen, is so darned generous with U.S. tax dollars -- he doesn't pay U.S. taxes. Turns out, he doesn't pay any taxes to Ireland, either:

Another boost to U2's wealth has been the band's tax-free status in the Irish republic under a scheme introduced in the 1960s to exempt the earnings of artists whose work is generally recognised as having "cultural or artistic merit".

In terms of U2's cultural export value, and the extent to which it has raised Ireland's profile around the globe, the government must consider this money well spent.

Early on, the band negotiated a unique high-royalty deal with their label, Island Records, and took 10 percent equity instead of earnings on "The Joshua Tree" album which paid millions when the company was bought out by PolyGram in 1989.

Unlike most acts, they also own the copyright to all their songs, a perk which brings in another seven million pounds a year from play on radio stations, for example, and will yield royalties for 75 years after the last band member's death.

For Bono, 41, real name Paul Hewson, fame and fortune have also provided an opportunity to give something back.

A veteran of fellow-Irishman Bob Geldof's 1985 Live Aid concert and a committed Christian, he has devoted considerable time recently to Jubilee 2000, a campaign aimed at persuading Western governments to write off Third World debt.

Lauded by some for his humanitarian commitment, Bono has been derided by others for egotistical posturing, prompting one critic in a prominent British newspaper to comment: "If Bono really feels for the starving of Africa he should shut up and write a very large cheque to Oxfam".

There's no question that Bono, who lives in an eight million Irish pound mansion complete with heli-pad outside Dublin, and owns properties in New York and France, could afford it.

By the end of the year, some analysts predict, each U2 member could gross 50 million sterling, out-earning the 38 million pounds apiece trousered by ageing rockers The Rolling Stones last year, and smashing the 40 million pound record set in 1996 by pop colossus Elton John.

In a related note, FoxNews.com reprinted a few of the email responses to the Bono column.

THE BLOGGERS' GLOSSARY

Gene Healy is moderating an event tonight on blogging, and asked me to come up with some blog-related words for comic relief. The list below is what I've either concocted on my own, or found on various sites across the web. Have more? Send them to me. I'm taking it upon myself to assume the role of the Daniel Webster of Blogdom.

Blogiarism -- co-opting a cool link from another site, posting it on your site, and not giving credit to the site where you found it.

Bloggerhoids -- sores from sitting too long whilst reading blogs.

Blogstipated -- the blogging equivalent of "writer's block."

Blogjam -- what happens to your server when a Sullivan, Fark, Reynolds or Slashdot links to you.

GridBlog -- what happens when Blogger goes down, and no one can post, or when Blogspot goes down, and you can't access any sites hosted on their servers.

Blogorama -- coined by Will Wilkinson after our enormously successful D.C. blog party on Kalorama. Now generic term for any social blowout amongst or hosted by bloggers.

Bloxicon -- an index of blog-related words, such as what you're reading.

Some definitions that need words I'm not creative enough to come up with:

What should we call old media types who are sneaking in to the blogging phenomenon (i.e. Chris Matthews, Eric Alterman). I came up with "imblogster," playing off "imposter," but that feels lame.

How about the act of trying to woo/seduce someone via blog? It's happened several times that I've seen, though I'll spare the offenders embarrassment.

How about the act of posting something inflammatory, coming to regret it, then surreptitiously going back and editing said post later, and subsequently pretending the offending post never happened? There's gotta' be a creative word for this.

What should we call the pedants who regularly email us with grammar and punctuation corrections, spelling errors and comma spices?

And what about those blessed souls who don't have blogs, but who regularly email us with cool links, interesting observations and unique insight -- and give us the okay to post on these items ourselves?

Any ideas?

Jonah Goldberg posts to The Corner that "Blogger" might go the way of "Xerox," "escalator," and, probably soon, "Kleenex" and "Band-Aid." That is, its brand name is being used to describe the whole process of web logging, meaning Blogger may soon lose the rights to "blogger."

It's one of the pitfalls of breaking new ground in business -- you then have to spend millions to ensure your name doesn't become "generified." Trademark law says you have to actively defend your brand, else it be co-opted by competitors. I don't think Pyra Labs has millions on hand to spend defending the Blogger name from "generification." And part of the irony here is that the most blatant misusers of the Blogger-brand name are those who most benefit from its services -- bloggers, er, clients of Blogger.

Speaking of sex, Julian Sanchez has a great post on evolutionary benefits of copulating. It's not nearly as seedy as it sounds, but it's every bit as interesting.

Sometimes, jokes write themselves.

Here's Jack Buck's KMOX page, complete with his poetry, his version of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game," and his much-requested post 9/11 Memorial Day speech.

JACK BUCK (1924-2002)

It's a melancholy day for baseball. The reliably silky voice of the St. Louis Cardinals, a man who has broadcast more than 6,500 baseball games, who's a member of the baseball, football and radio halls of fame, Jack Buck is dead at 77.

Buck's was the classiest of sports celebrity acts. He rubbed elbows with fame and stardom, but reveled in the attention and adoration he got from common St. Louisans. I spent about a year and a half in that city, and I can attest to the fact that every St. Louisan both in and out of the city is positively in love with the guy. And there's no reason not to be.

Born and raised around Indianapolis, I'd never really had a baseball team -- or more than a passing interest in the sport. I'd adopted the New York Mets because they won the '86 World Series, the year I'd turned 11, and was just getting into the boyish habits of baseball cards, little league, and casting myself as the MVP of championship games in my backyard under the strobe of porch light.

Just one season in St. Louis and I'd dived headfirst onto the Cards ever-growing bandwagon. So much that's good about baseball comes from St. Louis. In Jack Buck, his extremely talented and ever more popular son Joe, and Bob Costas you have three of the game's premier broadcasters, purists, and -- at heart -- fans. You have definitively classy, community-active legends like Ozzie Smith, Stan Musial, Bob Gibson, Lou Brock and Mark McGwire (who, if baseball knew what was good for it, should be commissioner someday). You have the most loyal, knowledgeable and polite fans in baseball. And you have all the folklore, rich history and tradition of one of baseball's founding franchises, the Mississippi River, the Gateway Arch, Annheuser-Busch and, oh yeah, a handful of World Series championships.

Part of my conversion was due to the team's pretty good season that year -- the summer of 2000. Part of it was that I've always been a fan of Mark McGwire. Part of it was that the Cards were then and still are just a really likeable team -- hustlers, community guys, not a thug among them.

But looking back, a huge reason why I converted was Jack Buck, and the soothing, comforting way his voice surfed the KMOX radio waves. There was something wonderfully cathartic about driving home to my place on the west side of St. Louis on an August night, cutting through the sticky thick Midwestern humidity, and realizing that, what a minute, I live in a baseball town now, and, good news!, if the Cards are playing tonight, I can tune in, and more than likely, I'll get to hear Buck's and Mike Shannon's reliable, fan-centered, spirited call of the game. (Click here and check the right side for audio clips of Buck's most memorable calls.)

Buck will be missed. His son Joe will do much to carry the torch. Joe's got all of his dad's loveable attributes, and a graduate student's approach to the games' strategy to boot. You learn something when Joe Buck calls a game.

But as baseball inches toward yet another labor dispute, as more heroes are felled to the steroid controversy, as old-school greats like McGwire, Gwynn and Ripken retire, you can't help but feel that with Buck's passing, one of the last stitches still holding baseball to its glorious past might have popped last night, and you have to wonder if, like the thundrous swing of Roy Hobbs, the swat of another season-ending strike just might knock the cover off the ball for good.

This, from the obit in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, more than anything sums Buck's humility, grace, and love of the game:

Mr. Buck often was asked to sum up his life. He responded with a little story recalling the day his wife, Carole, asked what he would say to the Lord when they met at the gates of Heaven.

Responded Jack: "I want to ask him why he's been so good to me."

RIP, Jack.

Supermarket foot-lickers.

No, not a new band. A news story.

If you don't want to read my chauvinist swine ranting, skip this item. All I can say is this: if the WNBA players go on strike -- as they're threatening to do -- I will never, ever, ever watch a WNBA game again. Wait a minute. Come to think of it, I've never watched a WNBA game in the first place. And with good reason. It's crap. The league's losing money, the games get lousy attendance, and no one watches on television. I watch women's sports when the women playing them are better than me. Or when they're cute. I maintain that I would be a more than adequate player in the WNBA. And none of them are cute.

Yet we still get force-fed this crap because a few Title-Niners decided that nine-year-old girls need hulkish, bemuscled sweaty role models, and thus guilt-tripped the NBA into letting a new "sister league" hitch a wagon to its stars.

Now, the ladies have decided that $55,000 (the average WNBA salary) for four months of work (including health benefits, free housing and performance bonuses) playing a game that nobody watches isn't a "liveable wage." They complain that some players have been "forced" to get off-season jobs or play in overseas leagues. They want more money. They want free agency. They want a deal like the men have, where salaries comprise 56% of league revenues. In the WNBA, it's just 15%. Well, ladies, you should count your blessings. If they up your cut of league revenues in a league that's losing money, your salaries are going to fall, not climb. Unless you want gross revenues, in which case your greed is going to drive your precious social engineering experiment right into the ground.

I can see it already. This league is going to fail. And they're going to demand that the NBA bail them out. And, kowtowing to gender warriors, the NBA will sign a check. And we'll all have to pay more for our tickets because of it.

I saw a promo for the WNBA during one of the NBA Finals games. In it, what looked like a twelve-year-old boy was sitting in the stands wearing the jersey of his favorite WNBA star. Only two scenarios could explain that image. One, the kid's a plant, put there just for the commercial, and paid handsomely for his embarrassment. Two, he's there legitimately, in which case I'm guessing he gets a serious playground ass-beating every time that commercial airs. Are we really to believe that twelve year old boys ask for Cheryl Swopes jerseys on their birthdays?

Pshaw.

FUN WITH HATE MAIL

I got about 50 or so responses to my Bono column on Fox. Most positive. A few negative. Let's do the negatives first, since they're much more fun. First up, "Rhianna:"

Say what you want about Bono. At least he's not sitting on his ass writing articles comparing a rock star activist to a dead economist for a third rate news channel. You are pucker, my friend.

Rhianna also runs a kick-ass Aerosmith fan site, which you can visit here. Rock on, Rhianna!

Mala Meehan writes,

Shame on you for not doing your homework before you wrote your article about Bono and his passion for giving aid to Africa. If you had, you'd know that one of Bono's main concerns is lifting trade barriers that exist with Africa, in addition to forgiving some of the debts that African countries have accumulated over the decades under corrupt governments, and giving monetary aid for schools, and to control HIV/AIDS, TB, and other epidemics which threaten to consume Africa. Bono has said numerous times that in order for Africa to attempt to be on equal footing, they need to be allowed to trade with the U.S. and Europe (which, so far, has not been an option). Bono understands a lot more about economics and what it's going to take to help free Africa's people from their numerous burdens than you give him credit for. He knows his stuff. That's been proven. And after talking with him, quite a few politicians now know this, and that is part of the reason that he has recently been accepted in political circles. He's got the ear of the decision-makers because he's knowledgeable....not because he's a great rock star (although that does give him an advantage in our "celebrity-crazy" society).

Below, a press release from Thor Halvorson, of the Foundation for Individual Rights in Edcuation. For eighteen months, I worked for the Leadership Institute, a non-profit in Arlington, VA which, though well to the right of my own politics (sometimes freakishly so), does much to allow independent student newspapers to provide alternative viewpoints on college campuses. (In fact, I aided the start-up of the now semi-famous Hoosier Review at Indiana University while working for LI).

The depths to which university administrators will sink to simultaenously allow bilious leftist student speech to thrive (as they should) and muffle speech with the slightest tinge of political incorrectness (as, obviously, they shouldn't) boggle the mind. I wrote a piece on some of the more absurd examples I encountered for the American Spectator, which you can access here. This from Halvorson is just the most recent example of PC-absurdity:

LA JOLLA, CA -- Violating constitutional protections of free expression and due process, the University of California, San Diego (UCSD) has charged a student publication, The Koala, with "disruption" for taking photographs at a meeting of a student group, the Movimiento Estudiantil de Chicanos de Aztlan (MEChA). When a public trial was held, the administration quashed it in order to hold a new -- and secret -- trial.

"Administrators at this public institution, though bound by the Constitution, consider First Amendment rights to be nothing more than privileges granted at their own will and whim," said Alan Charles Kors, president of the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE). "This is an unmistakable attempt to censor officially disfavored views. The same university that in 1995 declared MEChA's call for the murder of U.S. immigration officers to be 'protected by the first amendment of the U.S. constitution' now prosecutes a student publication's parody of MEChA as 'disruptive.'"

The Koala is a satiric student publication that regularly criticizes and parodies public figures and events. Administrators have frequently criticized The Koala. Last year, UCSD Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs Joseph W. Watson stated, "We condemn The Koala's abuse of the Constitutional guarantees of free expression and disfavor their unconscionable behavior." The Koala's "unconscionable behavior" was its exercise of constitutionally protected satire.

On November 19, 2001, Koala staff members attended an open meeting of MEChA. A student photographer, who was not a member of The Koala, later submitted his photographs from the meeting to the paper, which used them in a criticism and parody of MEChA's outspoken president, Ernesto Martinez. In February 2002, three months after the meeting, the University accused the two Koala students who attended the MEChA meeting and The Koala itself of violating the Student Code's prohibition of "obstruction or disruption of teaching, research, administration, disciplinary procedures, or other UCSD or University activities." The publication faces dissolution by the University.

On May 22, 2002, the day of the hearing, FIRE urgently wrote to UCSD Chancellor Robert C. Dynes, observing, "The very weakness of the 'disruption' charge indicates that UCSD has an outside motive for prosecuting The Koala, and it appears all but certain that this motive is The Koala's controversial content." FIRE called on Chancellor Dynes to cancel the hearing and warned him that punishing a student publication for content would "spell the end of robust discourse at UCSD." On June 10, Director of Student Policy and Judicial Affairs Nicholas S. Aguilar wrote to FIRE, claiming simply that UCSD's actions against The Koala are not based on the content of the publication.

In its letter, FIRE reminded UCSD of a case in 1995 involving MEChA's own publication, Voz Fronteriza, when the University in general, and Vice Chancellor Watson in particular, issued an unequivocal defense of the right to free expression. In May of 1995, Voz Fronteriza published an editorial on the death of a Latino Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) agent, entitled "Death of a Migra Pig." The MEChA editorial termed the dead agent a "traitor...to his race," stated, "We're glad this pig died, he deserved to die," and argued, "All the Migra pigs should be killed, every single one...the only good one is a dead one...The time to fight back is now. It is time to organize an anti-Migra patrol...It is to [sic] bad that more Migra pigs didn't die with him."

In response to widespread media attention, public condemnation, and demands for censorship, UCSD vigorously affirmed MEChA's right to express its opinions, however painful or offensive. Vice Chancellor Watson, so censorious in 2002, explained in 1995 to the media that, "like most student newspapers, they make an effort to achieve some shock value." In a letter to U.S. Congressman Duncan Hunter, Watson asserted that the MEChA students had "the right to publish their views without adverse administrative action....Student newspapers are protected by the first amendment of the U.S. constitution." That same day, the UCSD administration issued a public statement defending MEChA even from condemnation: "The University is legally prohibited from censuring the content of student publications."

On May 22, 2002, the campus Judicial Board held its hearing, which was covered by the student media. The Koala members were optimistic about the chances of a favorable verdict. Two days later, Nicholas S. Aguilar nullified the proceedings before a decision could be rendered, stating that the hearing had to be held behind closed doors.

Despite strong objections from the daily campus newspaper, The UCSD Guardian, and other student publications, the second hearing was conducted in secrecy on June 5, 2002. A final decision from UCSD's Joseph W. Watson is expected this week.

Kors noted, "Students at UCSD live under an unbearable double standard. It is, sadly, too late to save The Koala from the ordeal of a secret inquisition. Nevertheless, UCSD can still correct some of the damage that has been done by rejecting the charges against The Koala. Vice Chancellor Watson 'disfavors' The Koala, but he declared Voz Fronteriza's call for murder to be wholly protected expression. It is time for a single constitutional standard, and some decency, at UCSD."

In its defense of The Koala and other UCSD publications, FIRE has been joined by the Student Press Law Center (SPLC), a nonprofit organization dedicated to the defense of free press rights on college campuses.

FIRE is a nonprofit educational foundation that unites civil rights and civil liberties leaders, scholars, journalists, and public intellectuals across the political and ideological spectrum on behalf of freedom of expression, individual rights, due process rights, legal equality, and rights of conscience on our campuses. FIRE's efforts at UCSD, and elsewhere, can be seen by visiting www.thefire.org.

Here's more reason to be suspect of our detainment of Jose Padilla. I was listening to D.C.'s news radio station WTOP yesterday. They were interviewing a correspondent from Newsweek, who said most of the intelligence we got pointing to Padilla's alleged "dirty bomb" conspiracy came from Abu Zubaydah, the al-Quada bigwig we captured months back and have been interrogating ever since. Thing is, Zubaydah apparently is well-trained in interrogation tactics, and he's got his questioners doing psychological backflips. He's toying with them. It's entirely possible, then, that Padilla is a stooge, a diversion constructed by Zubaydah to deflect attention from a more sinister plot still unfolding. This is all completely speculative, of course. And it no way suggests Padilla's not a dirtbag. But if it's true that Padilla was found and captured based on intelligence squeezed from Zubaydah, we should certainly be skeptical of how serious a threat Padilla really is, and, consequently, we should be even more cautious about suspending his Constitutional rights in the interest of "security."

Here's a goofy example of 9/11 sensitivity gone too far.

MARATHON UPDATE III

Another 4.5 miles last night on yet another splendid, clean, unsticky June D.C. night. I wanted to go 6 miles, but a nasty blister spread over my left insole about 25 minutes into my run. Semi-new shoes are the culprit, I think. Other than that, it was a glorious night to run. I came home, sat in for a round of the great new Fraggle-Rock-On-Crack Comedy Central series "Crank Yankers," then began "preparing" to watch the 2:30am Mexico/U.S. game. Evening off tonight, as I desperately need sleep, and need to recover a bit. Nine miles in two days is the most I've run in several months. It'll get easier, though.

Why I am telling you this? Click here for details.

Money Raised So Far: $82.50
Target: $4,400
Money Left to Raise: $4,317.50
Miles Run: 20.0

Another list from the brilliant McSweeney's, this combining two of my loves, music and politics (and humor). I got 17 of 25.

Pre-1900 Ameircan Political Party or Music Group?

By Trey Kazee
- - - -

1. The Populists
2. The Stillhouse Rounders
3. The Mugwumps
4. The Breeders
5. The Barnburners
6. The Mando Mafia
7. The Grifters
8. The Hunkers
9. The Carpet-Baggers
10. The Grangers
11. The Rattletraps
12. The Chop Tops
13. The Copperheads
14. The Locofocos
15. The Jayhawks
16. The Mobocrats
17. The Broad Gaugers
18. The Silver Grays
19. The Border Ruffians
20. The Jayhawkers
21. The Stalwarts
22. The Doughboys
23. The Doughfaces
24. The Slippers
25. The Halfbreeds

Political parties: 1, 3, 8, 10, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, and 23.
Music groups: 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 15, 22, and 24.
Both: 5, 13, and 25.

Sticking with the soccer theme, the kiddies over at Pan Trogs uncovered a "separated at birth" coupling with U.S. forward Landon Donavan and "Mark" from punk wannabes Blink 182. That's pretty good. But mine's better. How 'bout U.S. goalkeep extraordinaire Brad Friedel and cinema villain John Malkovich?

I knew this was a possibility. A South Korean player now says that Portuguese star footballer Luis Figo proposed before the second half of Friday's game that the two countries play to a tie, thus ensuring they'd both get into the knockout round at the expense of the Americans (who were trailing 2-0 to Poland at the time).

If you watched that game, both teams were decidedly lackadaisical. Even after South Korea went up 1-0, you sensed they were obliging to let Portugal get the equalizer. But for a misplaced crossbar and an agile South Korean goalie, it damn near happened. Portugal got an obscene number of chances to tie late in the game, despite playing two short due to red card disqualifications. And twice South Korea had breaks on a wide-open Portuguese goal and, inexplicably, couldn't convert the score.

Rich Lowry predicted it, but it was Bob Herbert, not Bill Saffire who made a prophet of him. Herbert chastised the Bushies for the Jose Padilla fiasco on the ed pages of today's New York Times.

Herbert's right, too. This "indefinite detainment" of Jose Padilla shoud make your stomach turn, for about thousand reasons. I was particularly entertained by former Attorney General Dick Thornburg on CNN's Late Edition yesterday. He defended Pedilla's detainment, and of the disparate applications of justice given Zacharias Moussoui, John Walker Lindh, Richard Reid and Padilla by saying it was necessary to treat each of them differently because the cases against each of them vary in strength.

What? Let me get this straight. If we have enough evidence to convict you in a criminal court, than we'll try you in a criminal court. If we have only enough evidence to try you in a military tribunal, we'll try you in a military tribunal. If we don't have enough evidence for either, we'll label you a "combatant," whereby we can hold you indefinitely, with no evidence at all. Sounds like the rules to "BASEketball," if you ask me. Make them up as you go along. Whatever suits your ends.

If you have a subscription to the Wall Street Journal Online, read this (my soon-to-run Fox column). Now read this, an editorial in today's WSJ that says much of the same things -- right down to comparing Bono to Peter Bauer (and Cato's own Ed Crane). All I'm saying is....I wrote mine two weeks ago.

Let me say that, if this is the latest trend in women's fashion, I am firmly behind it. Actually, I'll probably be in front of it. You know what I mean.

After three years of research, a University of Illinois journalism class has unanimously concluded that "Pitchfork" Pat Buchanan is "Deep Throat," the anonymous source that sparked sparked the Washington Post's Watergate coverage 30 years ago. Is G. Gordon Liddy going to beat his ass now, as he's long threatened to do to John Dean? And wouldn't you pay more to see that than you would to see the next Tyson fight?

Had a wonderful, wonderful morning, though I'm now going on 2 1/2 hours of sleep (sweet, sweet D&D; coffee is saving me). Stayed up all night to watch the U.S. dismantle Mexico and advance to the round of eight for the first time in World Cup history. We watched the game at the Clarendon Grill, a bar just up the road. The cool thing is, Clarendon's a pretty multi-ethnic neighborhood. So we had a packed bar this morning, almost evenly divided between Arlington's Latino community -- obviously pulling for Mexico, and the gentrifyers -- the non-profit/policy professionals, who were almost entirely for the U.S. All this at 2:30am on a Monday morning.

We sang our national anthems. We chanted, taunted, cheered and belted out the obligatory World Cup refrains. Then we settled in and watched a really phenomenal game of football. God bless Brad Friedel, the Doppelganger for John Malkovich. ESPN this morning actually has criticism of him. Are you kidding me? The guy stopped two penalty kicks in successive games, and he just shut out a top ten world-ranked team in the knock-out round of the World Cup. For that, I'll overlook his habit of punching off balls he should be gloving. As the Mexico fan sitting behind me dishearteningly observed, "Man....that guy's a pimp."

Fox is kinda' topsy-turvey these days, given their recent server problems and vacationing writers. So, yeah, I had thought today would be the latest possible date they'd run my Bono column. But it seems that it might be even a bit later. It's accessible here, but don't tell them I told you. Hopefully we'll get some play on the site early this week.

MARATHON UPDATE II

Went for an exhilarating run last night. Temps were in the 60's, very little humidity. Did 4.5 miles. Unfortunately, "exhilarating run" meant "no social life" after the run was over. Instead, I settled in and watched a thoroughly disappointing Saturday Night Live. You'd think that with John Steward as host, the cast would have lots to work with. It was awful. Weekend Update was half-assed. Even the Robert Smigel cartoon -- normally pretty reliable for a belly laugh or two -- seemed phoned in. Will Farrel was absent every skit -- and noticeably so.

At any rate, my brief illness this week forestalled the "pre-training" a bit. But I hope to get in a solid hour or so tonight. So here's where we're at after two weeks:

Money Raised:$57.50
Target:$4,400
Money Left to Raise:$4,342.50
Miles Run: 15.5

Drat! My nemesis strikes again. I've been parodied. I wish it were a little cleverer, though. It's sorta funny. But not all that funny.

Jesus. Watch this video. Absolutely fucking horrifying. It's the Miami television news team's expose on the Orlando SAFE clinic, a direct descendant of the Straight programs of the the 1970's through 1990's. Watch it. Cringe.

Now, consider that A) this place is still in operation, and, B) Governor Jeb Bush explicity endorsed this program, even after being informed of what goes on inside of it.

Here's yet another startup blog worth checking out:

Jameson Penn, a former Cato intern and senior at George Mason, and his girlfriend Christina Rohweder publish "Effin' Eh." They're both pretty sharp, cogent writers, and post some pretty original content.

Now that I'm a "tier two" blogger (i.e. you can get to my blog in two links from Andrew Sullivan), I feel obliged to share my modest upper-three-hundred visitors per day with worthy start-ups. This is definitely one of them.

Lots of people sent me this story, and then asked me to explain my position on legalizing drugs in light of it.

I don't really know what there is to explain. The guy did something stupid. He's going to be prosecuted for it. That drugs motivated him to beat the hell out of a trick-or-treater really doesn't make a strong case for or against their legalization. What if he'd been tripping out on model glue? Or Robitussin? Or Jim Beam? When Earl gets drunk on Mad Dog and slaps his wife around, are the same people calling for the prohibition of Mad Dog?

What if it wasn't drugs that motivated him to beat the kid, but racism? What if it was mental illness? What if he's schizophrenic? We don't prosecute people for the condition of being mentally ill simply because some mentally ill people can be dangerous. Likewise, we shouldn't prosecute people for the condition of being high because some people get high and do stupid things.

Prosecute the act, not the motivation.

The argument here is that if we legalize drugs, lots of morons like this guy will be more likely to take them, which will result in more wacky hallucinations, will will result in more banged up trick-or-treaters. I don't buy it. And even if that is the case, any increase in drug-induced crime will be manifestly offset by a huge reduction in the ancillary crime that comes with the black market for illicit drugs.

The bottom line? Drug use is a victimless crime. When you give the state license to prosecute crimes that don't have victims, you're giving it license to enforce somebody's vision of morality. What then happens when you get someone in power whose morality you don't buy into? The state's job is to protect our natural rights. If somebody on a coke high mows down a Boy Scot troop in his Cadillac, throw the damn book at him. But throw it at him for murder, or manslaughter or reckless homicide -- not for putting funky chemicals in his nose.

Just noticed that Blogger killed my April archives. This is seriously pissing me off. Blogger really needs to iron the kinks out of its system.

I'll work on creating a separate document with my anti-globo piece and the series of follow-up "stupid protester updates."

I'm thinking it might be time to consider a switch to Moveable Type.

So many damn blogs these days, so little time to frequent them all.

Here are three I've recently discovered. All, I think, worth your time....

1) James Landrith. Landrith is an active agitator (sorry, can't think of a better word) for colorblind government. We're already migrating away from race-consciousness in our social habits (interracial dating, intermarriage, interracial adoptions, etc.). It's only a matter of time before our government and public life follows suit. When that happens, the James Landrith's and Ward Connerlys will be remembered as the abolitionists of our time, the Jesse Jacksons and Julian Bonds, the status quo roadblocks to a truly integrated society. Landrith's just started a blog. It's fledgling at the moment, but visit it frequently. Once its flowing, make it your first stop (okay, your second stop) for the latest on the great race debate.

2) Pan Trogs present Blog. I think that's they're name. If y'all want to be called something else, let me know. An anonymous friend of mine blogs here. I'm not really sure how they'd categorize themselves. But there's lots of pop culture stuff, humor, and snaps of beautiful women (the Bailey's ads are particularly delicious). Some great writing too. Memo to "Bunnie Foo Foo:" you need to darken your links. They're tough to read. And...um....you might want to add one, too.

3) Mark Hemingway. Got this link via the link above. Mark's an ex-American Spectator writer, now an American Prowler contributor who, apparently, is taking a summer off to write a book about the anti-globo idiots. I've met him a few times, through mutual friends. He's a fellow music buff and a talented writer. Wait, an aspiring writer named Hemingway? Yeah. Didn't really have a choice, did he? He's also a cynic, and more than a little curmudgeonly. Fits the name like an Isotoner.

Posting will be slow today -- probably nearly non-existent. Something crawled in to my stomach yesterday afternoon and is now attempting to claw its way out. I'll probably be home and tucked beneath covers soon. Mis---er---able.

Quickly, a few items:

1. Fox News is down. I'm not sure if they ran my latest column yesterday or not, since I couldn't access the site all day. I got no email, so I'm guessing no one else could either. I was able to pull up a front page this morning after several tries. But it's a very stripped down version of the front page, so I'm guessing they're having some serious technical problems. I'm hoping it'll run Monday. If not, I'll certainly post a link from here.

2. I got the green light to write a 2500-3500 magazine piece on Straight, Inc., the Semblers and the drug war. I'll wait until I've written the piece and it's ready to go before I announce the name of the magazine. But this is great news. If you have any information that might help me in my research, please send it to this email address.

3. Go laugh at this parody.

So Asparagirl is back from two weeks of, in her words, "sweet lovin'." She delivers two items of interest.

First, this househould tip from the files of "too-hot-for-Martha-Stewart:"

And in tangentially related news, let it be known that a smudge of nonoxynol-9 from a used condom will eat through the cheap varnish on your Crate and Barrel night table if accidentally left there overnight. Don't say you weren't warned.

Speaking of Westchester mothers in general, one of them even managed to snag, and then lose, a certain smarmy ex-president. According to yesterday's Page Six of the New York Post:

WHATEVER there was between Lisa Belzberg and Bill Clinton, it appears to be over. Belzberg, the brainy blonde behind the PENCIL nonprofit group that helps the public school system, was rumored to be more than friends with the former president, who lives just 10 minutes away from the mother of two in Westchester. "She's heartbroken," said one source. But there is little chance of reconciliation with her husband, Matthew Bronfman. The Seagram heir, who split with Lisa in February, is said to be very happily dating a fashion industry executive, Stacy Kaye.

This is priceless. My favorite site on the Internet right now. Ladies and gentleman, give it up for....MC Stephen Hawking.

Yes, it's the acclaimed physicist and arguably smartest man alive doing.....gangsta rap! Tunes include:

The Mighty Stephen Hawking
All My Shootin's Be Drive-Bys
Crazy as F*ck (A Brief History of Rhyme)
F*ck the Creationists
Entropy (Hawking's cover of Naughty By Nature's "O.P.P." -- "You down with en-tro-py?" "Yeah, you know me.")

The Internet really doesn't get any better than this.

OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH.... Gary Busey with a mouthful of custard!

If you've got a fetish, somewhere, it seems the Net's got your fix.

Eve Tushnet attempts the impossible -- an intellectually honest discussion of U.S. aid to Israel in the blogosphere. Oh, Eve. I fear you're soon to be on the receiving end of the rhetorical equivalent of pizza parlor bombings.

I too am in the dark on this one. Ideally, I'd favor no foreign aid -- to anyone. But I do think that aid to countries who have important sustaining institutions in place (property rights, individual rights, rule of law), is less troublesome than aid to countries without those institutions, where it's lapped up by kleptocrats and despots. So aid to Israel, or perhaps even Russia, is a bit less troubling than aid to sub-Saharan Africa. (OK -- bring on the "racist" stuff. I'm ready.)

But Eve's "client state versus sovereign state" point is a good one. If Israel can't exist without U.S. aid, is it really a sovereign state? And if that's the case, should the U.S. really be in the business of propping up "client" states? And if Israel can survive without us, why should we keep the checks flowing?

More in the long line of questions I don't have answers for.

This woman decided to have some fun with the infamous Nigerian "I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY" SPAM email. Amusing. And on this site, they have a digitized voice read notorious SPAM mail over house music (click here for the Nigerian). Very amusing.

From the PC-run-amok files: police dog accused of racial profiling.

My dog, too, is racist. I'm serious. When I lived in St. Louis, we would take walks up and down University City, a very racially integrated near-suburb. When white people would come down from their porches to pet her, her tail would get motoring, and she'd nudge for affection. Black people? She'd cower behind me. Wouldn't go near them. This poor old black guy who lived a few doors down from me, each time we'd walk by he'd be sitting on his porch. "Come let me get my rub," he'd say. I'd walk her up to him, he'd reach down, and she'd jump, cower and shudder. Always kind of embarassed me. Then, it would hit me, she's a friggin' dog.

She's sexist too. Hates men. Loves women.

May traffic reports are in. Good news and less-than good news.

The good news is that we're slowly and steadily building an audience. In April, I'd guess that I had about 200 regular, daily readers. My average readers per day was a lot higher than that, but that was mostly due I think to a couple of Instapundit links -- most notably the link to my on-the-scene coverage of the IMF/Anti-Israel protests late in the month. As of late May, I'd estimate we're up to between 300 and 400 regular, daily visitors. That number is lower on the weekends, higher on weekdays, and it spikes considerably every time my Fox column goes up.

The not-so-good news is that, as I touched on above, our average daily traffic is down from 430 unique visitors per day in April, to 376 for May. Again, I don't think this means I'm losing regular readers -- I think I'm gaining them. But I didn't come up with any blogosphere-rattling scoops in May that could compete with the protest coverage in April. In other words, I think April's numbers were inflated by a couple of huge days.

Busiest day in May was the day the Straight column ran, when we spiked at 1,600 unique visitors. And since then, we're closer to 400 visitors per day than 300, as we were in early May.

You're most likely to visit me between 2 and 3pm. Least likely between 5 and 6am. Here's some interesting stuff: Obviously, most of you (82%) reside in America. But, oddly, the second country you're most likely to come from is Brazil!?! Canada is third, followed by South Korea (also odd, it seems to me), the Netherlands, the UK and Australia. We only hit five continents this month -- no Africa.

Once again, to my dismay, Indiana didn't rank among the top 20 states that sent users to my site. Of course, state statistics are sort of misleading, as they're usually indicative of where the major ISPs (AOL, Microsoft, etc.) route their traffic. Consequently, Virginia will always rank high on any domestic website's traffic reports, because that's where AOL houses its servers. But AOL has users all over the country.

Words people typed into search engines to get to my site:

radley balko, agitator, wtc jumpers, daniel pearl video, junior professional wrestling association, linda vester, sponge bob square pants pictures, stanley praimnath, hbo 9/11, cynthia mckinney, la pen playboy, jack white shirtless.

OK, first, y'all are some sickos. Yes, I did post the link to the Daniel Pearl video, and explained why several times. As for the JPWA, I'm praying you were looking to do some research on sex abuse in the Catholic Church, and weren't hoping I'd give you hot pictures of young studs in unitards. I don't swing from that side of the plate (not that there's anything wrong with that). Linda Vester? OK. I guess somebody's got a newsgirl fetish. Sponge Bob? I don't particularly remember writing about him, but I'm a huge fan, much to the chagrin of my roommates.

Praimnath is the guy profiled in the New York Times who made a harrowing escape from the WTC towers. I've written tons about the White Stripes, but if you're looking for shirtless Jack White pics, I can't help you out. Try looking here. But if you happen to have shirtless Meg White pictures, do email me. Let's talk.

Rapper or Toiletry?

From the wonderful humour (the "u" is for sophistication) magazine "McSweeneys"...

1. Suave 2. Nice & Smooth 3. Soft & Gentle 4. Shyne 5. All Fresh 6. All Natural 7. Remedy 8. D-Flame 9. Cream Silk 10. Volume 10 11. Dimension 12. Cool Breeze 13. Smooth Appeal 14. Q-Tip

Answers:
Toiletry: 1, 3, 5, 9, 11, and 13.
Rapper: 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, and 12.
Both toiletry and rapper: 14.

I swear, the Straight story takes a crazy new turn every day. Sammie Monroe just sent me the email below. She hasn't spoken to her sister in ages. At present, Sammie lives in Florida, her sister in Tennessee. When all this broke in the last few weeks, her sister evidently ran across the story, got in touch with Sammie through one of the Straight alumni bulletin boards, and now says she can vouch for most of Sammie's story. Yesterday, they spoke for the first time in years.

I am Samantha's sister. I was in Straight during some of the time that she was there. I can confirm some of what Samantha said. However, since we were not allowed to talk to each other, I do not know the extent of what happened. I do, however, know that some of the same things happened to me. If there is anything I can do to help the situation, please feel free to contact me at this address or the attached phone number.
Thank you,
Lisa Newcombe

Priceless.

Funny mock commercial. Adult content.

"I GUESS I'LL JUST FADE INTO BOLIVIAN"

That's what Mike Tyson apparently said in the locker room Saturday night after his thorough ass-kicking at the hands lf Lennox Lewis. Sportsguy's got the scoop, as well as some unconventional insight into where Iron Mike ranks among the all-time heavyweights. (I'll give you a hint: it's not in the top ten.)

Ramesh Ponnuru has a nice op-ed in today's New York Times. He's right, his point is similar to one I made here. The idea that Republicans shouldn't exploit the war for political gain is ridiculous. In fact, if the war is the most important issue, dilemma, problem -- take your pick -- we're looking at right now, I think it's rather irresponsible for us not to be discussing it on the campaign trail. Why is it wrong for the people who will be making the war's most important decisions to explain to us why we should trust them to make those decisions?

The answer of course is that the Democrats know that if the war hits the campaign, they'll lose. So they're attempting to make the war "off limits" on the stump on the grounds that it's "distasteful." Won't work. Shouldn't work. It's pretty similar to the Bush administration's tactic of dismissing criticisms of its handling of the war as "unpatriotic," which likewise hasn't, won't and shouldn't work.

WORST. EPISODE. EVER.

The comic book guy soundboard.

Capitalism in action. Click quickly. I'd guess this will be pulled soon.

Is Lauryn Hill being brainwashed? Fox's Roger Friedman reports that some think her new shaman paramour might be exerting some undue influence over her music. Might explain why, compared to her brilliant debut The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, her acoustic follow-up is pretty much incomprehensible crap.

Wes Fager also has a couple of interesting documents on his site. First, check out this one, dated October of 2001. Yep, that's Florida Governor Jeb Bush and his wife Columba listed on the Drug Free America Foundation (which in 1995 changed its name from Straight, Inc.) board of directors. Also listed, former drug czar Robert L. Dupont, Jr.; Richard M. Baker, the mayor of St. Petersburg; Brad Owen, Lt. Governor of Washington state.

Wes also posts this letter from Governor Bush endorsing SAFE, one of the former Straight facilities that merely changed its name and continued operating. This particular letter was sent in September 2000, after Miami television station WAMI had sought the governor's comments on the SAFE facility. The station's news team was producing an expose on the abuse allegations put forth by "clients" of the program. Knowing of the allegations, and of the coming expose, the governor was asked for comment -- and sent a letter of endorsement.

More from Wes Fager, who has sort of become the de facto Straight historian:

Someone recently posted about a program they said sounded similar to Straight in Canada called Alberta Adolescent Recovery Centre (or AARC), founded by Dr. Dean Vause who earned his PhD. from Union Institute in Cincinnati, and who trained at Miller Newton's program called Kids in New Jersey. I wanted to point out that Reverend Doctor Miller Newton, who now calls himself Father Cassian, is the former national clinical director of Straight, Inc. Reverend Newton left Straight in 1983 under a blaze of civil suits and criminal investigations of Straights to form his own Straight-like program in Bergen County, New Jersey (one of the wealthiest counties in America). He called his program Kids of Bergen County. He then founded Kids Centers of America which was his own Kids franchise and spread the virus to El Paso, Yorbi Linda, California, and Salt Lake City. All closed down under state investigations of child abuse and he moved his flagship program to another county in New Jersey after CBS' West 57 Street did a blistering segment on Kids. And by the way, the day Kids of Southern California closed down in Yorbi Linda under state investigation, Straight took over its clients and operated another year before being closed by the state for child abuse.

Anyway Miller Newton was to open an expansion program in Calgary, Canada. Things happened and Dr. Dean Vause, who studied at Kids, wound up opening AARC. Miller Newton received two doctorates from Union Institute, an alternative university. For his first doctorate he wrote a PhD thesis on the Straight program and his six new parent raps for Straight. It appears he never took a written test, and merely listed a number of books he had read, but had to give no proof that he read them. He also attended a few weekend seminars (or maybe week-long)--one of which I think was at Union. Dr. Dean Vause, whose undergraduate work I believe was in history and physical education, also earned a PhD at Union. I have also heard that a director of Newton's California program was also a Union graduate.

Here's an interesting point:

My memories of the early 80's are a little fuzzy but I do have some strong emotions firmly attached to the name Straight. I was a teenager living in Sarasota circa early 1980's and, although I did not directly experience Straight, I knew people who did. I will not bore you with loose/fuzzy details of abuse, escape and re-capture (kidnapping more like it) that I directly witnessed. However one of my more distinct memories is that the Sarasota Straight facility was never licensed for in-patient stay. Therefore no patient/client/victim should have ever spent even one night at the facility (warehouse as you accurately mention.) Clearly that was not the case, but I am surprised to find the implication that officials of Straight have acknowledged that any overnight stays took place at the Sarasota facility at all.

Thanks to Ramesh Ponnuru for his "The Corner" plug to my Straight piece.

And, special aside to my Straight sources who still think Republicans the root of all evil, take note: Fox News, widely held to be a "conservative" news outlet, was first to run this story. Yes, they pulled it. But it was gutsy for them to run it in the first place. After they pulled it, Glenn Reynolds -- while he probably would shirk at the "conservative" label, but who certainly "leans right" - then posted a link. Now a writer for the flagship of modern conservatism, National Review, has posted a link as well. I'd also note that NR founder William F. Buckley, Jr. long ago came out in favor of marijuana decriminalization. And the only sitting governor to favor the repeal of drug prohibition -- New Mexico's Gary Johnson -- is also a Republican.

Yeah, there are lots of Republicans on the militant "pro" side of the drug war too. But Bill "I Didn't Inhale" Clinton was as fierce a drug warrior as any president we've had. Just goes to show that when it comes to drug war idiocy, the fiercest lunatics are rather bipartisan.

Wired Magazine has a great section called "Infoporn," which, just as it sounds, is a big data dump of stats and stuff. (You'd think that Wired would be the last magazine to have hard copy articles that aren't available online, but for the life of me, I can't find a link.)

This week, Infoporn compares the shelf-life of different means of preserving data. Compellingly, the newer the means of storage, the shorter amount of time that the data contained in that medium is likely to last.

At the top of the list, for example, are clay tablets, which can last up to 10,000 years. Books and libraries also notch near the top, at about 1,000 years. At the bottom? Fax paper, at 5 years. Floppy disks, at 10 years. Zip drives, at 20 years. Digital tape and inkjet prints, at 30 years. Vinyl (up to 250 years) lasts longer than CD (up to 100 years). There are some notable exceptions. Ion beam-inscribed nickel plating lasts a good 1,000 years, for example. And microfilm (1,000 years) lasts longer than newspaper (up to 400 years).

But very generally, even as advances in technology make information more accessible, easier to read, easier to manipulate, and easier to research -- technology doesn't necessarily make information last.

Slate's Rob Walker reviews the banned Microsoft X-Box ad I linked you to over the weekend. For the record, I think he's right on. But then, I've been sucking down paint fumes all weekend.

Gene Healy on arming D.C. in National Review Online.

Lemmesee....NBA star.....millionaire......in the kind of physical shape most of us fellas can only dream about.....Poison-esque access to groupies.....on the road three days a week.....and.....whipped? Yep. The Sacramento Kings' Doug Christie is a beaten man. It's kinda' sweet, actually. The original NY Times article is already in the site's pay-per-view archives, so instead, I excerpt from most venerable Sportsguy....

Did you see that New York Times article about Christie and his wife, the piece that resulted in the Whipped Hall of Fame being quickly changed to the Doug Christie Memorial Hall of Fame? Everyone has that one buddy who constantly makes up lame excuses because his wife or girlfriend won't let him leave the house, but Christie takes it to another level. This is unprecedented stuff. Few things have rendered me speechless over the years, but check out some of these tidbits:

You know when Christie raises his arm, extends his pinky and index fingers and signals into the air? He's actually signalling "I love you" to his wife (Jackie), something that happens 50-60 times a game, even during crunch-time. It's almost like he suffers from a whipped version of Tourette's.

Some direct quotes and excerpts: "With few exceptions, Doug Christie does not look at other women, avoiding dialogue or even direct contact" ... The Christies remarry every year on their anniversary, "not a mere renewal of their wedding vows but an actual wedding -- replete with friends, family cake and a reception" ... Mrs. Christie attends 25-30 of the Kings road games, always riding on the team charter ... "(She) arrives before games with her husband and leaves with him after" ... "She sends him a note in the locker room before every game, taken there by a team attendant. He writes a reply and sends it back" ... "Sometimes on the road, Jackie will ride in a car behind the team bus, talking to Doug until he arrives at the hotel or arena."

(I kept waiting for this part: "When Doug asked if he could attend Mateen Cleaves' bachelor party this season, his wife burned his clothes and set his BMW convertible on fire.")

My favorite part: "When Christie played for the Raptors, his wife once confronted a female fan seeking an autograph and a kiss in Toronto. 'A security guard grabbed her, but I put my hand up and told her to back off really loud,' she said. 'It scared me, because my voice sounded like a demon ... she was touching someone she shouldn't have been.'"

I guess there are three appropriate reactions here:

1. If you had one TV wish, wouldn't it be for the Christies to appear on "Temptation Island." I always write how this-and-that would make for the greatest TV series ever, but realistically, a "Temptation Island" with the Christies ... that would never be topped in the annals of TV history. That's the Comedy Ceiling right there, isn't it? Even my idea for the HBO talk show with Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and an open bar couldn't come close.

2. If you were granted an alternate TV wish, wouldn't it be for an "Osbournes"-style reality-TV show called "The Christies"? Just Doug getting harassed by his wife in episodes entitled "I wasn't looking at her!" and "I told you, that was Peja's fiancee!"

3. From this point forward, doesn't Christie's replica Kings jersey immediately become the best possible way for a group of guys to humiliate one of their emasculated buddies? Let's say you have that one friend who's spending a little too much time with a new girlfriend, and it seems like she's wearing the pants in the family, to the point that your buddy has been blowing you off. BOOM! Everyone chips in five bucks, you purchase the Christie jersey, and you mail it anonymously to him.

LOSING MY #1...

John Gotti bought the farm this afternoon. This puts me in great shape with my celebrity death pool entry, as I've now lost my top two picks. Cross your fingers for Pinochet and Osama. Best thing is, he's such a schmuck, I don't feel the slightest tinge of guilt.

Tired of sappy reunions of old TV shows? The Modern Humorist has coverage of some you may not have heard about.

Tech Central goes Europhile. Glassman, Schulz and company just launched TCS Europe. It's a pretty spiffy site. It'll need to be if it's to bring free market sensibility to the land of four month vacations, taxation in the stratosphere, and socialized....well....everything.

An email from Brian Cogswell (no relation to the Cogs baron and arch-nemesis of Spacely Sprockets), an old college political crony....

In theory I agree with your comments on the 'Children's Internet Protection Act'. However, in practice... well for two years I was a librarian who taught computer classes. When no classes were going on, I answered computer questions and 'ran' the computer lab. At times I felt like a babysitter -- I was told that I wasn't allowed to watch what people were doing AND that I was responsible to appease any offended patron. Now in our library there were two groups of patrons - the first were 12 year old boys who were bored, and the second were the elderly (who pay for the library to be there). By the time I left, I was praying for filtering software, just so I wouldn't have to keep my eyes open for the excited teenager, or the excited 78-year-old.

Nonetheless it is good to see another Hoosier blogging.

But if there do exist conundrums of this kind, why not have separate labs for the easily offended (and why are the easily offended glancing at other screens, anyway?)? The less attractive, but still somewhat acceptable option would be to allow individual public libraries to make their own decisions about filtering.

The single worst option, however, is of course the option Congress chose -- federally-mandated censorship.

For the past five weeks, I've been accommodating the world's laziest house painters. Not only were these guys slow, they were awful. They painted windows shut. They painted windows themselves. They splashed paint on the floor. In my bathroom, they painted hair into the wall. They did this funky Jackson Pollock thing on my comforter.

They also had the worst body odor I've ever encountered. They often left before I'd get home from work. Still, the biostench would hover over the door, stalking, waiting, readying. Then it'd pounce. Upon walking into my living room, it'd grip my nose, my throat, my lungs, gagging me, whisking away my breath. I'm heart-attack serious, here. Their BO was its own life form. It should be kept in a zoo.

They also had the habit of preparing a room for painting -- taping up the windows and molding, plastic-wrapping the furniture, rendering the room pretty much useless -- then concluding "hey! it's quittin' time!" They did this twice with my bedroom. Twice with the bathroom (guess that makes sense, since "showering" obviously isn't a word they associate with "daily"). Twice with the living room. Glad I had plans Wednesday night. Otherwise, I'd have ended up sitting on the paint-splashed floor, staring at the wall. My bedroom and living room were both shrink-wrapped.

I finally got fed up, and complained to my landlord. She told them that "everything" had to be painted by Saturday. Guess they took her literally. More windows painted shut. More paint on furniture, sinks, floors and clothes. They even painted my dog. No kidding. Her right ear? Tastefully trimmed in eggshell white. She looks like an extra from a Norman Rockwell print.

Here's a very cool commercial (link is to a video) for Microsoft's X-Box that was apparently banned in Britain. Not sure how effective it would be at selling video game consoles, but its eye-to-eye staredown with mortality is pretty striking. The cast over at "Six Feet Under" would approve.

It's crop circle season, I guess. I don't know what that means, but the pictures here are pretty damned cool. Here's a primer on the phenomenon although, after reading it, I still have no idea what they're all about. What's bizarre is that they appear overnight, they're geometrically perfect, and visually they're nothing short of beautiful.

Here's an interesting take...

Thanks for the great article on Straight Inc.

I see that you live in Arlington VA. I wish you would take your report a step further and look into Straight's influence on the public schools in Northern VA. Fairfax County, a former home of Straight, is a case in point. Straight may be defunct there, but at least some of its counselors found other work in the public school system, and those who supported straight also support similar destructive approaches to dealing with kids caught for possession of minor amounts of marijuana. Public institutions like schools cannot isolate and beat them nowdays, but they can expel them and require "substance abuse evaluations" which almost invariably lead to months of "therapy", including biweekly AA meetings and weekly drug testing. THey can even require this of kids who have never used any drugs but are guilty of other kinds of violation (e.g., fighting in school). This "therapy" has become a way of determining guilt and punishing people outside the court system.

Hang with me as I post more Straight accounts. Given recent events, I really think it's important that I get as many as possible up and posted for public consumption...

Thank you for this story. It has been many years since I was in Straight-St. Petersburg, but not a day goes by when I don't think about it. I am one of the luckier ones, I made it out & managed to regain my sanity. Words cannot describe the emotional and physical torment of Straight. It took a long time for me to forgive my parents. I finally accepted that we were all lied to and brainwashed. I hope your story reaches the right people & prevents needless abuse, death and insanity.

I just stumbled on to this message while sorting through my inbox. Ironic, considering Fox's decision to pull the column...

To whom it may concern at Fox News,

I am so in awe that you guys would care enough about us to print what Mr.
Radley Balko wrote on May 23rd telling the story about myself and others
who survived Straight Inc. (and those who didn't)

It is really true what they say about Fox News, you guys are indeed fair.
To tell you the truth, I was concerned what Fox News would do with such
print which told of numerous crimes committed against us by key people
associated with the Republican Party. I was praying that the network would
believe what we said, knowing fully well that our facts all can be backed
up because of the years we have painstakingly collected news clippings,
official papers, etc.... so our archives will support what we say about all
those abusers concerned.

I didn't want to see any network tear us apart and call us a bunch of
radical leftists with some kind of agenda that would overshadow our main
goal of stopping these mind rape mills now in operation that are spin-offs
of Straight Inc. No, I was concerned that this would happen because in
certain respects, it happened to us all the time when we were in Straight
Inc. And to my relief and gratitude, my "concern" was all in vain. Thank
you again. In fact, there are a lot of conservative ideals which I and
other Straight Inc. survivors hold dear in our hearts. It has nothing to do
with own personal political viewpoints. We survivors, thanks to the
internet, are now coming together no matter where we stand on what issue to
say to the Semblers (and especially those that would copy from them and
abuse young people), enough is enough!!

We are like anybody else, all individuals with our own individual views on
our society, and I want to personally commend you for allowing us to
finally have a voice, bless you for that. I can't emphasize enough how much
this is really about stopping abuse of our young. I have worked very hard
in helping to bring to reality our 2nd annual Straight Inc. Survivors
Conference, June 8th and 9th so we can do what we can to look out for ALL
our young people out there, so that they won't have to bear the pain we
did. Maybe we can make this world just a little better.

Myself, I survived that hell hole in the early 80's and came out of there
with a lot of garbage inside for which I needed to seek therapy. But the
good news is I survived my ordeal despite them and when I got a phone call
in 1997 from Wes Fager telling me to truth about Straight Inc., it was like
a weight lifted off my shoulders.

You see, I was one of those 12,000 "graduates" that Mel and Betty like to
brag about. They like to tell the world of how they "cured" me of a problem
that never existed. I had carried around a lot of false guilt for 15 years
pertaining to me being told by them that I was a "druggie" because I had a
beer when I was 17 and how I would be dead without them. And they tried to
shame me in any way they could so that I would always feel guilty, always
be the one to apologize to the point where everything wrong with the world
was my fault, just give me the blame, jeeze! There are soooo many ways they
messed with my head, we would be here all night, but I'll spare you.

Life is much better now thanks to God and a lot of hard work on my part. I
give Mel and Bette Sembler's Straight Inc., ZILCH in respect to credit for
my successes. I compare myself to war torn Europe after World War II when I
got out of there, I had to rebuild myself from scratch and get myself back
on track and that took many years, thanks to the PTSD I suffered because of
Straight Inc.

You know what? I am one of the lucky ones, there have been sooo many
suicides because of the atrocities done in Straight Inc. How is this
possible? When your mind is exposed to no sleep, no privacy, no food,
little water, no communication with those around you, let alone the outside
world, no known release date due to a false imprisonment, the mind is bound
to be affected, it's always just a matter of time before the strongest of
will power caves in. I saw it happen to everyone who came in after me,
there was NEVER a failure in the nearly 2 years I was there. In essence I
saw everyone's spirit broken and they (Straight Inc.) had NO right to do
that.

Today those who are involved in raping the minds of our young people, have
to be exposed, they shouldn't have the right to do it either, they must be
exposed for the liars and quacks that they are even if they honestly
believe themselves they are doing good. IMHO, not only is it about money,
but some of these clowns get off on power trips because they have an
impressionable young person that they have sole control over. Sick.

I'm sorry, but I just can't stand to see people profit from misery on other
people, and if that weren't bad enough, manipulating officials in
government to support their warped foundations (DFAF) with MY taxes. But I
just keep the faith that even big bad shopping center Kings fall too, just
ask Christie's Al Taubman (another shopping center king who was just
convicted) about that is if you don't mind calling him collect in jail.

Of course, my dream TV segment would be to watch Bill O'reilly confront the
Sembler's about the abuses we suffered as a result of Straight Inc., and
watching the Semblers try and throw Bill off the subject by accusing us
(survivors) of being "radicals", or "lefties", or whatever they could dig
up at the last minute to even attempt to save face. But we'll have to see
what happens next. Once again, it was a great write up, and if I can help
you out, don't hesitate to email me.

Sincerely......Ken Houghtaling

More accounts:

Great story on Straight.

But more needs to be done, and I was a little disappointed not to see any
mention of Dr. Miller Newton, who was essentially the Semblers' henchman and
ran Straight as well as KIDs.

I was in Straight in St. Petersburg. I also gave a deposition on behalf of
Karen Barnett. The Semblers and their ilk have caused more pain and
suffering for more people than any drug in my opinion. And the majority of
the people in the program, particularly those promoted up through the ranks
of the group to staff positions, hit rock bottom after Straight, regardless
of whether they 7-stepped (completed) the program or not.

I just had a dream the other night that I was being held against my will
inside Straight and not allowed to see my son. Think about it: Nearly 22
years after I was in the place and I still have the occasional dream about
it. Now THAT'S a bad trip.

Note: Miller Newton -- often cited by Straight alums as the devil incarnate -- branched off and started the "Kids" program in North Jersey. It was Kids that was forced to settle a $4.5 million abuse claim in 2000.

Here's some evidence that the Straight philosophy still lives...

I read your story on the Straight drug rehabs with interest.

I have been researching a Kids and Straight spin off in Canada called the Alberta Adolescent Recovery Centre (AARC) located in Calgary, Alberta. They are very much the same as the Kids programs and in fact their Director, a "Dr." Dean Vause, trained at Kids of New Jersey before it was closed for abuse. Kids of New Jersey had a large number of Canadian clients and when it closed Vause took them to a program in Calgary promising it would be a "kinder and more gentle" program. It was started in 1989 as Kids of the Canadian West under Miller Newton. Newton was pushed out and Vause took over.

From the stories I've been told by three ex clients it seems to be almost as abusive as Kids at their worst. There has been very little negative publicity about the place and they enjoy support from the Calgary Police and several politicians. The Rotary Club of Calgary raises a large amount of money for them annually. Dean Vause (who got his doctorate from The Union Institute in Cincinnati} claims at times to be a psychologist, but is not licensed as such anywhere in Canada.

More mail....

I am one of the unfortunate people that put their child in Kids of North Jersey and ended up with two children there. My family and I knew from the start that things were not right but we were desperate. My son had just been released from Bergen Pines after being in a 30 day drug program and we were scared to death that he would die so on the advice of a case worker at Bergen Pines we took him to Kids. He got NO treatment at all, he sat in a blue chair for 12 hours a day and had to make up things to tell the staff that he did or they would not feed him. I could go on and on but to make a long story short they made us put our 14 year old daughter there also with the threat that they would throw our son out on the street. She was there for about 3 months when we went and demanded that they let our kids out. That's another story. Dr. Newton and his wife should rot in hell! I know this is old news but it feels good to find out that we were not alone. Thanks.

Mail....

Hello. I just read your article about Straight that was published on the Fox
News website. I was forcibly held at Straight in Springfield, Va. from
January 1988 until February 1989, when I had my 18th birthday and they could
no longer hold me prisoner. The whole ordeal has created many issues with me
that continue to plague me up until today. I would like to get in touch with
others who have survived Straight, especially those who were imprisoned with
me in Springfield. Is there anything you can do to help me to get in touch
with these people? Thank you in advance for your help.

Fornits
A Clockwork Straight
Yahoo! Groups -- Straight Alumni

On the coming Chris Robinson tour:

Hey Radley, I enjoy your blog.

As for Chris and the Crowes:

If you recall, drummer Steve Gorman quit, which is why the Crowes are on 'hiatus'. On the crowes' behind the music episode (a chance viewing, I don't even have cable), Gorman was refered to as 'the third Robinson or some such. I guess he was a big part of the band, relationship-wise. Not to rule out the Winona/Yoko factor, but just so you know...

And, I read somewhere that Chris will be doing lots of covers, and performing self-accompanied on acoustic guitar, with only a slide guitarist to share the stage.

I found your blog via your HOV lane article on TCS. And, I have a blog myself, from where I linked to you once or twice: http://kneesknelt.blogspot.com.

Making my way through the mail bag...

I am disappointed that Fox has removed this story/editorial from it's web page.
I have always thought more of your network....from many of your talk show hosts
etc., I thought that Fox was not afraid of the truth or the consequences. The
public deserves to know what kind of people are running these places and the
tactics that they use. Not to mention the fact that these people are
"representing" our country abroad and have a "loud" voice in America.

I was shocked..I had no idea that these drug rehabilitation places are/were so
horrific. Since reading this article I have been doing some research and am
finding out the article is quite honest and truthful in regards to the Straight
organization.

Mr. Balko, keep up the good work. I have forwarded your article to many people
across the US and am encouraging all to get involved to stop these people. I
will keep up with this on your web page.

In the interest of fairness....

I work for an organization called Operation PAR in Pinellas County, Florida. As you may know Betty Sembler sits on our board and I have had much contact with her. The allegations that you make in one of your more recent pieces is quite shocking to me.

I am proud to report that to my knowledge no such abuse has occurred at any of the facilities that Operation PAR runs. In fact, my organization prides itself on including the family in the treatment of its clients, a philosophy that recently won our organization the FADAA Best Practices grand prize in 2001.

The unfortunate effect of your column is that it presents the Semblers and their approach to treatment as examples of the entire substance abuse rehabilitation service, which I would like to assure you, they are not.

What happened at The Seed and Straight and their progeny wasn't treatment. It was battle. Torture. Torment. I'm more convinced than ever that the people who ran these centers -- the Semblers, Miller Newton and the gang -- weren't at all interested in treating kids. Rather, they were interested in reclaiming lost territory in the drug war. They were making examples of the defectors they'd captured via their program. Drugs are the enemy, and these kids chose to fight for the wrong army. So if you gotta' leave a few bodies on the battlefield in the course of your march to victory, so be it.

I've no doubt that Betty Sembler serves on the boards of some legitimate organizations. I've also no doubt that she has a pleasant disposition. But there's no way she can't know what went on inside the rehab centers that made her lots of money. And still, she's unrepentant about them. And for that, I find her morally reprehensible. A handful of kids killed themselves over their experiences in Betty Sembler's programs. Most of the rest lost huge chunks of their lives -- the one to three years they spent in the program, and the ten to twenty years it's taken them to recover from it.

I also print this letter to bring up a second point. Since I first began soliciting stories from Straight survivors, I've collected probably close to one hundred accounts. Want to know how many of those were positive and thankful and laudatory of Straight? One. Just one. You'd think if Straight had indeed "cured" the 12,000 kids the Semblers claim, some measure of that 12,000 would've written me with testimonials of Straight's grace. Particularly after the Fox column ran. Maybe that will still happen. It hasn't yet.

Mail...

I spent the first 18 years of my life in St. Petersburg. I will
never forget the Seedlings at high school. You would never find a
crowd less interested in drugs than the one I hung out with.
Nowadays, we would be considered the geeks and nerds of the school;
back then we were the brains. No matter what you called us, we were
very, very straight (note lower case).

The summer I took driver's ed, I mostly hung out with a girl named
Jean. She was the younger sister of a friend of my older sister's
and seemed like a perfectly nice girl. She certainly never offered
me any drugs or alcohol, or even a cigarette and I never saw her use
any of these things. But some time later, Jean was whisked off to
The Seed. When she resurfaced at school, like all other Seedlings,
she wouldn't speak to anyone who wasn't a Seedling, no matter what
their character might be.

I have no doubt that brainwashing was going on at that place, just
based on what I would now call radically diminished affect of those
who "graduated" from it. Jean, and another boy, Jeff, were zombies
when they got out of that place.

The Seedlings used to wear buttons to school that said "The Seed
Loves You" and for some reason, people used to get so upset at this
that I believe the buttons were finally banned from school. I wonder
if it was the Jesus freaks who got so upset, although they weren't
enough of a group to kick up a fuss.

Anyway, keep on publicizing the Trebach group when you can. People
need to know about the effects of coercive rehabilitation (let's make
that The Oxymoron of the Day).

Here's a renegade web reporter's story of a kid whisked off to a "boot camp" for "troubled teens." Most of the Straight chapters died down in the early '90s, although many changed their names and continue to operate. Nevertheless, the latest trend is the "boot camp," and it's "strip 'em down and build 'em up" mentality that fosters mass appeal in the social conservative crowd. Problem is, every now and then, a weak kid dies.

How to get around that? Move the camps overseas, out of U.S. jurisdiction. That way, "get tough" parents can still send burdensome kids away, but won't have recourse in U.S. courts should something go awry.

Here's a fascinating piece from Wired on Stephen Wolfram, a super genius who for the past twenty years has been working on a book that he claims will crack the code. What code, you ask? THE CODE. To nature. To the universe. To you and me. To John Tesh, Ron Jeremy and Ben Wattenburg. To everything. Wolfram claims that all of nature can be broken down to a simplified series of patterns, which he's replicated through computer software. The book is called A New Kind of Science, and it's a mere 1,190 pages long. Wolfram's peers estimate it will be a decade before there's reasonable consensus on his findings.

Freelance reporter Daniel Forbes has broken some big stories involving the drug war. He broke the piece in Salon about the Clinton's administration's secret deals involving payments to prime time television producers in exchange for anti-drug plotlines in your favorite TV shows. His latest details Ohio Governor Bob Taft's efforts to subvert a "treatment instead of incarceration" ballot initiative in the Buckeye State. Guess whose help Taft enlisted? Yep. Our old friends, the Semblers. I've reprinted the executive summary below. The full report (in PDF) is available here.

The Governor's Sub-rosa Plot to Subvert an Election in Ohio Ohio Governor Bob Taft and the highest reaches of his administration have embarked on a concerted, months-long effort to subvert the state's electoral process. With overall control of budgets, jobs and sentencing policy at stake, the Taft administration has organized a sophisticated, sub-rosa campaign to defeat a drug treatment rather than incarceration amendment likely to appear on the ballot in November. Starting last spring, Gov. Taft himself, First Lady Hope Taft, his chief of staff, Brian Hicks, two of his cabinet members and numerous senior and support staff have - while on the clock, ostensibly serving the public - conceived and directed a partisan political campaign.

A four-month long Institute for Policy Studies investigation by freelance journalist Daniel Forbes details political malfeasance, the misuse of public funds and the inappropriate use of government resources in Ohio. The effort has been aided by federal officials, including President Bush's publicly announced nominee to be deputy director of the White House drug czar's office (since confirmed), and a senior U.S. Senate staffer. The drug czars of Florida and Michigan and a senior Drug Enforcement Administration agent also participated in the scheme.

Ohio officials consulted with and enlisted the aid of the wife of the former finance chair of the Republican National Committee, who herself has played a key political role for Jeb Bush, as well as several taxpayer-supported, staunch anti-drug organizations, including the supposedly apolitical Partnership for a Drug-Free America.

The Partnership was slated to produce TV ads to sway public opinion in favor of the Ohio drug-policy status quo. Its four top executives advised the Taft administration during a day-long strategy session hosted by that Senate staffer and held in the U.S. Capitol building itself. A representative of New York-based treatment provider Phoenix House and one from the federally supported Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America also attended.

A mid-October strategy session held at the governor's residence in Columbus was attended by 19 senior officials and private executives from Ohio, Michigan and Florida. (A similar referendum will likely be on the ballot in Michigan; in Florida, proponents have postponed their effort.) Obtained through Ohio's Freedom of Information process, a five-page memo summarizing the day's thinking features such overt political exhortations as: "Beat the Initiative back in the entire country, not just in each state."

Ohio spent $106 million on "community-based treatment" in FY 2000; overall control of vast sums of money and vast numbers of jobs underlies the political struggle. One Ohio official worried that the state will lose both "its ability to control sentencing policy" and "control of its own budget."

The effort has entailed hundreds of staff-hours of state-paid time. Last fall, Ohio's first lady, cabinet officials and senior staffers in the governor's office attended weekly strategy sessions on the public's dime. State funds paid for out of town trips and overnight lodging, and the administration even proposed to divert U.S. Department of Justice crime-fighting grants to fund their nascent campaign's eventual polling, focus groups and advertising. As Hope Taft's chief of staff, Marcie Seidel, wrote in her minutes of one strategy session: "This a political campaign - must strategize as suchâ ¦. Look for enemy's weaknesses."

Modeled on a similar measure, Proposition 36, that passed overwhelmingly in California in 2000, the Ohio amendment proposes to offer treatment rather than prison to defendants charged with a first or second instance of simple drug possession. Judges may approve a few other types of nonviolent offender, but typically any crime beyond possession precludes participation. The measure is backed by the same rich trio - billionaires, George Soros and Peter Lewis, and multimillionaire John Sperling - who have successfully financed drug reform initiatives since 1996, including Prop. 36, and several medical marijuana measures.

Should the Taft effort succeed, it will work to maintain the Ohio status quo of incarcerating a disproportionate number of racial minorities for possessing small, personal use amounts of drugs. According to Ohio State Senator, Robert F. Hagan, though an estimated 13% of Ohio's drug users are African-American, "77 percent of the people sent to prison for drug possession last year were black. This brings shame to us all."

The revelations from Ohio question the probity of the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, which partners with the White House in a controversial, nearly $2-billion (total-value) anti-drug advertising and media content campaign. The media campaign has recently come under attack from Drug Czar John P. Walters himself as being ineffectual. Its second, five-year appropriation is currently under consideration in Congress. As the Drug Czar foists the equation that Drugs = Terrorism upon the land, will Congress now take another look at a program whose private strategic partner, the PDFA, was willing to insert itself improperly into an election in Ohio?

M. Dane Waters, president of the Initiative and Referendum Institute, said that politicians fighting initiatives are guilty of "mind-boggling arrogance." He declared it "a blatant abuse of office to work actively to stop an initiative. Their role is to advise the public."

Inertia, resentment of liberal outsiders trying to force change, money-and-jobs turf protecting and both state and national political calculation explain much of the Taft administration effort. Yet, the administration also seems to think the very citizens who elected it possess scant faculties to decide for themselves. So it endeavored to keep the amendment from the ballot. Such contempt towards the electorate serves only to erode faith in democracy. As previously proven in print and discussed in the report, the White House has at least indirectly meddled with state ballot initiatives for years. In fact, the effort in Ohio is just a more sophisticated - and wildly blatant - manifestation of the sort of public funding of partisan drug-war politicking that has long befouled the nation's electoral landscape.

Radley Balko | permalink | (0) comments

---

Thanks to InstaMan for a link to the Straight piece.

This is asinine. A kid who threw a spitball just narrowly avoided an 8-year jail sentence for battery. Instead, he'll get a week in juvy, home probation, 150 hours of community service, anger counseling, and his parents are required to take parenting classes. His brother gets a record too, for "egging on" the spitball battery. Granted, the kid he hit needed surgery (it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye), but what where's the criminal intent? The judge apparently was miffed that the kids' parents, fearing the maximum 8-year sentence, went to the press. They were right to. The kid's guilty of being a kid, nothing more.

A friend of mine just scored his first freelance gig-- an opinion piece at the unfortunately named site, TomPaine.com. David Kirby explores the common ground between libertarians and "progressives," the modern-day misnomer for "liberals." It's a good piece, though, and worth checking out.

On to more cheerful topics....

Last night's D.C. Blogfest (or, as Will Wilkinson coined it, "the Blogorama on Kalorama") was a smashing success. I'd estimate we exceeded 100 people over the course of the night. Everyone was pleasantly interesting and pleasingly uncreepy.

Gene Healy's got a roster of the attendees. All-stars included Brink Lindsey, Tom Palmer, Eugene Volokh, Eve Tushnet, Ramesh Punnuru and Jonathan Adler. We even had a bona-fide movie star show up! Charlie Korsmo, who's been in "Can't Hardly Wait," "What About Bob?" "Dick Tracy," and "Hook" showed up for the festivities. Here's a snap of him with Beltway Blogger Heather Hosford. The kid I guess is a genius. His bio says he was studying college-level math by age eight.

Highlights from my evening: listening to Eve Tushnet and Julian Sanchez debate anarcho-libertarianism, debating abstinence-only sex education with Eve Tushnet myself, and getting pleasantly toasted over the course of the evening on many a Maker's Mark over rocks. When it came time to pay the tab, Rendezvous' owner thanked me for the business we'd brought her, and put my drinks on the house!

Here's a shot of your hosts, Gene Healy, me, and Brink Lindsey. The betongued growth coming from Gene's neck is named Jefferson Kiely, a colleague who supplied the evening's entertainment. Lots more photos from the event here, courtesy of J.D. Talley.

Just spoke with my editor at Fox. They won't be putting the Straight column back up. No explanation yet. I've reposted the unedited version here.

The St. Petersburg Times ran a front page story this morning on Straight, Incorporated -- in conjunction with the Trebach Institute conference being held there this weekend. You'll get more details of Sammy Monroe's story, which you can also read here.

Fox has pulled my Straight column for the time being, though they've yet to tell me why. The only explanation I've gotten thus far is that someone representing the Semblers challenged the veracity of Sammie's story. This mystery person claims to have documentation that Sammie went to a foster home every evening, which he says proves she couldn't have been subjected to the abuse she describes.

There are about a half dozen things wrong with that.

First, Ginger Warbis attended the same Sarasota branch of Straight as Sammie, and can corroborate most of the abuse stories Sammie tells. Second, Ginger tells me that she and Sammie have been trying to get records of their stay in Straight-Sarasota for years -- and have been told such records don't exist. Convenient how those records can be found when it's to Straight's advantage, isn't it?

Third, Sammie did in fact go to "sponsor" homes at night for most of her stay at Straight. But that certainly doesn't invalidate her story. In fact, lots of abuse went on inside sponsor homes. Wes Fager served as a sponsor home while his son was in Straight Springfield. He was instructed not to interfere with the "treatment" of the kids he hosted. If that treatment involved revoking bathroom privileges, food deprivation, or outright physical and mental abuse, he was to comply. To his credit, Wes did finally interfere, at which point Straight "counselors" accused him of "enabling" his son's habit. When that didn't work, they began harassing his family, at one point even attempting to persuade his wife to file for divorce.

Fourth, though Sammie often went sponsor homes at night, there were stretches of time where she was confined to the warehouse and her "timeout" room -- essentially a closet. Her first 14 days back after she fled to California were spent in confinement, for example.

Fifth, even if there is some sort of documentation showing Sammie to have signed out or to have been given over to a foster family at night, why are we to believe it? There are dozens and dozens of stories like hers. There's a huge conference taking place in St. Pete this weekend where these stories will be rehashed and recounted. Lying to Straight kids and their families was long Straight's m.o. Is it really surprising that they'd find vindicating "documentation" now that these stories have gone public?

This story gets seedier. Since the Fox column ran, Sammie's been harassed. She's getting phone calls. She says she doesn't feel safe. Her boss has gotten anonymous phone calls asking him if he knows that "one of his employees has a drug problem."

A few days ago, I got an email from a guy asking for Sammie's personal information. What's odd was that he emailed my work account. The email link on the Fox story went to my hotmail account. So to does the link from the website you're reading. Why would this guy take the time to look up my work account?

He said in his message that he wanted to "share experiences" with Sammie. I forwarded the email to her. She responded, at which point the guy changed his story -- said he was a "documentary filmmaker." He sent her a list of very detailed, very personal questions. Suspicious, Sammie forwarded the list of questions to a lawyer working for Straight survivors. The lawyer responded with a list of his own questions, including a request for the guy's business license number and some documentation of his status as a "filmmaker." He never responded.

I'm supposed to have a phone conversation with Fox editors sometime today. Let's hope they put the column back up. Obviously there are some people out there who are being made to feel very uncomfortable by it. As they damn well should be.

It'll be disappointing if they don't, but the piece is at least out there. I'll repost it here soon. And, ironically, I have assurances from some other fairly highly trafficked outlets that they'll post it too should Fox decide to keep it off its site. So the attempt to censor may in fact give this thing even more exposure.

DC BLOGGERS PARTY -- LAST CALL

Rendezvous Lounge
2226 18th St., NW (near Kalorama)
7pm.

OF MONEY-MAKER SHAKING

Very excited. Chris Robinson, formerly of The Black Crowes, is coming solo to D.C.'s 9:30 Club. This is important because I've been in a near conniption since the band broke up a couple of months ago, shortly after Robinson's marriage to the delicious Kate Hudson. (Coincidence? Hmm.)

Truth be told -- and this is near-blasphemous of me -- the band's been on the creative decline since their second album, The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion (top 5 rock albums of all time, IMHO). Lyrically, especially, the band went from Dylanesque, obviously drug-induced surrealism on SHAMC, to trite and ditzy cliches on By Your Side. Their last release, Lions, was a bit better.

Compare these lyrics from "My Morning Song" on SHAMC:

Dizzy found me last night Saw some kind of new light I woke up in a whirlwind Just you watch my head spin The spectacle that made you cry It's a thrill a minute plane ride It's over time at ring side, no lie

March me down to the seven seas
Bury me with a ruby ring
Kiss me baby on an Easter Sunday day
Make my haze blow away

Lordy baby could you tell me what's wrong with me
The way I feel nobody would believe
All these things that you do
You know they drive me out of my mind
And as mean as you are
You know you are my kind

They way you put on your clothes
The way you wiggle your toes
The way you scratch your nose
When you watch it grow

I'm curious as to who will be backing Chris this summer. Exiled guitarist Mark Ford? Exiled bassist Johnny Colt? There's not much to be found on the web. What will he sing? My Crowes friends and I suspect he'll be too stubborn to play classic Crowes tunes or, if he does, he'll play obscure cuts that his brother Rich probably hated. That's fine. I'm itching to hear some of the older stuff again, anyway. Maybe he'll throw in some Zeppelin covers, owing to the Jimmy Page/Crowes tour a couple of summers ago.

My roommate (also a big Crowes fan) and I figure it's even money Robinson struts out on stage and, at some point in the show, and in complete seriousness, says something similar to the following:

"Now I'm gonna' play a little number written by my beautiful wife Kate. It's called "Butterflies."

Kate, meet Yoko. Yoko, Kate.

Julian Sanchez obliterates the sacrosanct shawl we wrap around "democracy." He's right. In truth, the founding fathers (Madison in particular) feared pure democracy, which inevitably yields factionalism and majority tyranny. It's why they established, in the words of Ben Franklin "a republic, if you can keep it." Sadly, we're migrating away from republicanism (small "r") and more toward populist democracy. I blame the 17th Amendment, which took the power of appointing senators away from state legislators and gave it to the people of the states. Since, we've steadily devolved from government by the few and wise to government by the masses. (So, Julian, I guess I'm not so averse to Plato's "Philosopher Kings." Better them than rule by the fickle mob which, were he alive today, I'm certain Shakespeare would have cast as MTV's "Rock the Vote".) I'll take a benevolent dictator over an oppressive democracy in an eyeblink.

A good example of ugly democracy in action (which I've pointed out before) is the increasingly disproportionate rate at which the wealthy pay taxes. So long as the tax burden continues to inch up the income ladder, we'll have a smaller and smaller percentage of Americans funding the handouts, bailouts and benefits the rest of us vote politicians into office to secure for us. Soon, a majority of the voting public will pay no taxes at all (as it is, the bottom half of income earners supply just 4% of the federal tax take). You can bet their votes will continue to "soak the rich," and you can bet that any time a politician proposes a tax cut, demagogues will decry how much of that cut will be going to "the wealthiest Americans."

That's obviously no way to run a society. Wealth creates wealth, after all. And soaking up our wealth resevoirs with a blobous, ever-expanding federal sponge will inevitably leave too little capital to beget more wealth. At that point, we're all screwed.

But we'll still have democracy.

From the June 3 National Review:

When CNN opened a Havana office five years ago, bureau chief Lucia Newman said Cuban officials had promised the network "total freedom to do what we want and to work without any prior censorship." Perhaps that's because they knew CNN would censor itself. According to a new study by the Media Research Center, CNN's Havana-based journalists have produced 212 prime-time reports on the Cuban government or life on the island. A grand total of seven of them dealt with political dissidents or prisoners, which is fewer than the number of stories CNN ran in the first three months of this year about alleged human-rights abuses of Taliban prisoners held at Guantanamo Bay. The bureau also put out a mere four stories on the absence of democracy in Cuba, including one that had Newman remarking that Cuba's one-candidate "elections" contained none of the "dubious campaign spending" found in the U.S. Overall, Communist spokesmen were given six times more airplay than non-Communist ones. Perhaps this is because the non-Communist ones would fear for their lives if they spoke against the regime -- a great story in itself, if only CNN would report it.

I know ya'll are probably waiting with baited breath, but my Fox column has been postponed 'til next week, due to an evidently busy newsroom. So look to Thursday. It's on Bono, foreign aid, and world poverty. I've also got a fun Fourth of July piece in the works for the week after.

In other Fox/column news, a Straight flak has apparently questioned the reporting on my last column. This is a little odd because, as far as I know, Straight doesn't exist anymore, much less have the payroll to keep a flak. I'm guessing it was a DFAF flak, posing as a Straight flak.

I haven't yet been briefed on the specifics, but given the way these people operate, my only surprise is that a challenge didn't come quite a bit sooner. I'll keep you posted, and if I've erred, I'll readily cop to it. But from what I know so far, the challenge is pretty flimsy.

WHY THE LAKERS WILL WIN

In the first round of the NBA playoffs, my team was the Pacers, as it's been since I learned my first referee-targeted string of swear words. They lost. In the second round, I needed new loyalties so I picked up the Dallas Mavericks, an exciting team with lots of offense, crazy hair, and a slightly-nuts owner who happens to be an Indiana University alum. They lost too. In the conference finals, I needed new loyatlies, so I picked up on the Sacremento Kings, another fun run-and-gun squad. Mostly, I picked up the Kings because I really don't want to see the Lakers win another title. Alas, Sacramento lost.

So, Nets fans, I'm really, really sorry. But I'm on your side. I like Jason Kidd. I think he's ballsy. Scrappy. Clutch. But he's playing the Lakers. And he's got me on his side. So he's going to lose. Count on it.

Interesting piece in Slate on how elite universities are using tuition rate hikes as a means of wealth redistribution.

I don't think the criticism goes far enough. The real reason tuition rates are soaring at several times the rate of inflation is due to the absurdly easy accessibility of federal education loans. A kid applying to college today can take out six figures in loans relatively responsibility-free. He's not going to feel the pinch at least until graduation (and even then, he can put it off with grad school). Consequently, colleges today sort through a bounty of applicants each spring, and can set tuition rates wherever they please, free from the burdens of market forces. Not only do schools have no trouble filling classes at $35,000 per year, they're getting four and five applicants for every slot.

At some point, our politicians decided that "everyone who wants one is entitled to a college education." So they introduced the college crowd to Mr. Stafford and Mr. Perkins, two generous old men who provide seemingly unlimited amounts of money that, between keggers and riverboat formals, no one I knew ever really anticipated paying back.

This new access among the masses to "higher" education meant lots of new college graduates. Consequently, the white collar job market got a heck of a lot more competitive. Suddenly, it's no longer a matter of "wanting" a college education, it's a matter of needing one, just to get an office job. The glut of college graduates had a diminishing effect on the value of a bachelor's degree, so the government made more loans available for more kids to move on to graduate, law and medical school. There's now a glut of PhDs, MBAs and, to a lesser extent, MDs.

See how easy it is for one well-intentioned statement -- "everyone who wants one is entitled to a college education" -- to wreak havoc on markets, and have all kinds of disastrous and unintended consequences? Gen-Xers and younger now trudge through the job market with mountains of debt, undervalued degrees, and, thanks to grade inflation and outcome-based learning, not a whole heck of a lot of education to show for it (I, for one, have learned more in 18 months of working at a think tank than I learned in 4 years of undergrad and 1 year of law school).

Suddenly, the kids who took shop classes and trade apprenticeships in high school look like the really smart ones -- probably starting their careers in union shops, pulling in $40,000 a year. Contrast that to the typical Capitol Hill staffer, who's lucky to get $20,000 in Washington, D.C., the most expensive city in the country that isn't New York.

Ain't egalitarianism great?

I think this is a really, really good idea.

Reader Rick Drasch writes:

In reference to your recent blog about cartoons, I am a huge Bloom County fan. Actually, I have the same top three as you, but I own all of the Bloom County books. I think that Berke would have done more than dance around the peripherals. He would have had Bill D. Cat found with the Taliban. Berke consistently used Bill as the foil for anything really excessive, exploitative, or stupid a person could do. Bill was a celebrity; joined a cult; became a money-grubbing evangelical minister; headed up a heavy metal band; was a communist spy; ran for president ("Bill and Opus for President--this time, why not the worst?"); was investigated by Bob Woodward; switched brains with Donald Trump; and got his DNA mixed with Oliver's in a transporter. Plus he died a couple of times. There would have been some periphery dancing, but Berke would have used Bill in some way to raise the issue. Ack Thppt. Rick "Middle of the road/man, it stanks/let's run over Lionel Richie/with a tank" -- Deathtongue, later renamed Billy and the Boingers

Incidentally, I've heard from a few places that there's a "Bloom County" movie in the works. Animated, I hope. Or CGI. CGI would be very cool.

MARATHON UPDATE I

Money raised so far: $37.50.
Target: $4,400.
Money left to raise: $4,362.50.

Many, many more of these to come. I'll try to make them interesting. By the way, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, click here.

This week marks the beginning of my "pre-training." That is, I need to drop about 15 pounds, and get my weekly mileage up to about 15-20. I figure that'll give me a head start on the "official" training, which starts in mid-July. Mmmm....D.C. in mid-July. It's very lovely. I call it "the sweating season."

At any rate, I did 3 1/2 miles Monday, walked a half mile, then closed with a 1/2 mile. Did 4 miles straight last night. For my fellow social science majors, that's 8 miles thus far this week.

June 10th is the kickoff party for all the Arthritis Foundation marathoners here in D.C. at a fun little bar across from Union Station called the Irish Times.

I won't run tonight, as I'm attending an open house for the Objectivist Center. No run tomorrow either -- due to what I'm sure will be a wonderfully successful D.C. Bloggers Party. So you're safe from marathon updates until at least the weekend.

I wasn't quite up by 5 this morning, as I'd hoped. But I did wake at 6, in time to see the second half of the United States' stunning defeat of Portugal. ESPN is calling it the biggest upset in the history of the World Cup. Not sure I'd go quite that far -- the U.S. squad is ranked 13th in the world right now by FIFA.

The second half got a little antsy. Seems to me the U.S. packed in the defense a little too early. But it worked. And Jeff Agoos, who scored an "own goal," needn't worry about a Columbian death squad assassinating him, as happened in the '94 cup to Columbian defenseman Andres Escobar after his own goal led to a defeat -- to the Americans. All is well in victory.

It looks good for the Americans now. Portugal was the far and away favorite in Group D, with Poland and the U.S. expected to fight it out for the second slot to the knockout round. But in another upset, Poland lost to South Korea yesterday 2-0. So the U.S. really need only beat Poland or South Korea -- and there's a decent chance they could do both -- to be assured a ticket out of the first round.

This is kinda cool. An online encyclopedia of historic comic strips. I don't read the comics much anymore, mostly because I haven't found anything that approaches my all-time favorites. There's just not much good stuff out there any more.

My top three:

1) Berkely Breathed's "Bloom County" (and its descendant, "Outland" -- charming, biting, politically incorrect commentary with Opus, Bill the Cat, Oliver Wendel Holmes, Steve Dallas and the gang).

2) Gary Larson's "The Far Side" (everyone's favorite).

3) Bill Watterson's "Calvin and Hobbes" (childhood innocence and imagination + a healthy dose of philosophy and human-condition-observation = sheer joy).

Here's an interesting question: for fans of the three strips above, how do you think the authors would've handled 9/11? Personally, I think Larson would have avoided it altogether. Watterson would've come up with something appropriately touching and classy, but probably not all that funny. Breathed I think would've danced around the peripheral issues of the attacks and stumbled upon humor in unlikely places, much like The Onion did.

Aaron McGruder's "The Boondocks" is pretty edgy, but it lacks the charm and sophistication of the classics above. It's got more of an "edginess just for the sake of edginess" approach, which really just gets me irritated. Still, it's a better read than "Mama."

ESPN Page 2 comes through again, shaking me from mid-afternoon melancholy. This time, it's a surprise edition of the Tuesday Morning Quarterback. I say "surprise edition" not because it isn't a Tuesday (it is), but because it's June, and aside from news about the signing of bigshot draft picks, "quarterbacks" aren't dominant on the sports pages. In fact, TMQ tackles basketball, and thanks ye football Gods that the NFL is not the NBA. A sampling:

In the Spurs-Lakers opening game, second quarter, Kobe drove the lane; took three full steps; jumped into air; came down with both feet; then jumped again for the dunk. Marv Albert cried, "Sensational!" Bill Walton gushed, "The Spurs have no answer for that!" Well, of course the Spurs have no answer for a move that's illegal.

With each passing year, it becomes progressively more embarrassing how the NBA tolerates walking ... so long as a dunk results. This year, the league's been openly tolerating up-and-down, too, so long as a dunk results. Maybe that's show biz, but shouldn't the announcers at least mention when plays are, ahem, not legal? NBC showed the replay of the sensational! drive three times and no bobblehead made any comment on the violation.

Transportation Sec. Norm Mineta believes rosary-clutching grandmothers deserve the same airport security scrutiny as Saudi "student visa" visitors with three day beards. Here's a reprint on Tech Central of a circulating email we might hope graced Mineta's in-box.

My Tiger Woods column is running in James Landrith's "The Abolitionist Examiner." Landrith's a commendable ally of colorblind government, so I'm honored he's picked up the piece.

Where's a boat of Greenpeace activists when you need them?

Newsmax is going public. Invest now. Hope Hillary Clinton becomes president. Retire early.

So the rumor mill's abuzz that Thursday's DC blogger's party might see appearances from all-stars Eugene Volokh and Andrew Sullivan. Neither are definite, but both have indicated an interest in stopping by. More reason to show up if you're in D.C. this week....

James Glassman's laundry list of principles President Bush has vacated....

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES...

A few changes in store here at your favorite blog stop. I think you'll like them. I've been toying with the idea of inviting new and interesting people to post on TheAgitator.com. People with expertise in areas I'm interested in, but that I don't know much about, and people who I think you'll enjoy reading. I've already invited one such person, and she's accepted and agreed to post from time to time. I'll introduce her to you once I set up her account. Variety is good, I say. Will give you hard-cores whose eyes are bleeding from my incessant rants a refreshing change of pace.

Lots of people wrote me after my last column to either a) scold me for criticizing President Bush and Republicans for their role in the drug war, or, b) thank me for having the courage to paint President Bush and his brother Jeb as the evil, puppy-stomping, kitten drowning men they are. Truth is, I'm not comfortable with either of these.

I like President Bush. I voted for him in 2000, and I'll likely vote for him again in 2004. I think he's genuine, he's honest, he's down-to-earth, he's a commendable judge of character, and he's a lot more intelligent than he's given credit for (there's much to be said about sound intuition, which he has in spades). For the most part, I like the people he's put around him and, more importantly, the roles he's put them in. The reason Rumsfeld and Powell don't see eye to eye on a number of foreign policy issues is that, simply, Rumsfeld advocates for the Pentagon and Powell, for Foggy Bottom. They aren't supposed to agree.

I was rather hard on Bush and Republicans in the Straight piece because, frankly, I think they're grievously in the wrong. Serious people can disagree about the need for a "drug war," but all serious people should agree that certain means to eradicating drugs from society are, in a civil society, beyond consideration. Abusive rehab centers such as Straight, Inc. would certainly fall into that category. So too would asset forfeiture, zero tolerance, state-sponsored misinformation campaigns, and draconian sentencing guidelines -- all weapons used liberally in the U.S. drug war arsenal.

Obviously, there are other areas in which I disagree with Bush. I think he's dangerously close to meriting a "Clintonian" modifier when it comes to his willingness to put politics over principle. He has, for example, yet to make a principled policy decision on free trade. He sold out on his education plan. The same with affirmative action and, now, with global warming. I think for the most part, all of these are attributable to the undue influence of Karl Rove, whose job as I understand it is merely to get Bush reelected.

But because I want to trust Bush's judgment, it's all the more disappointing when he listens to Rove, and not to his policy advisors. Treasury Sec. Paul O'Neil, for example, has been adamant about the importance of free trade in fighting world poverty, and of the futility of foreign aid toward the same. Yet Bush continues to shun O'Neil's principles in favor of Rove's pragmaticism, and has instead upped foreign aid, kept tariffs intact, and, in some cases, actually added new protectionist policies.

This infuriates me. It's sort of a "we're hardest on those we love" kind of thing. It's Rove's job to get Bush reelected. But it's Bush's job to decide when principles should trump politics.

Perhaps all this will change in a second term. Perhaps once the specter of reelection is behind him, Bush's policies will come to embody the principles we expect of him. But there's always another election. In 2004, he'll be eyeing the 2006 midterms. After 2006, he'll be a lame duck, and will likely face a consequently uncompromising Congress. Seems to me if ever there were a time to stand on principle, it's when your approvals are at 75%, and your next election is 2 1/2 years away.

You knew the Lakers would win, didn't you? If you're up by less than ten with five minutes or so remaining, count on it, they'll beat you. It's a combination of great inside-outside talent (you can't double down on Shaq, because you need the extra man for Kobe), dumb luck (the tipped ball that fell right into the hands of a wide-open Robert Horry in game 4, for example), clutch performers (other than my man Reggie Miller, is there an icier late-game deliverer than Kobe?), stellar role players (Horry, Fox and Fischer can all hit the dagger-twisting game-ender), and, of course, the fact that the NBA pays its referees a fat bonus every time a big market team makes it to the finals.

That last statement is pure conspiracy-theory conjecture. But how else to explain the six fouls on Vlade Divac, the only player on the Kings with significant clutch experience? The fifth and sixth fouls in particular were awful. You don't call the "hustle foul" in the waning minutes of a game 7 conference final. You let them play. How else to explain the itchy-trigger-finger technical on Chris Webber, who made one aside to a ref whom he thought missed a call, but the boundless patience the refs showed later as Kobe ranted and raved for a good two minutes that the refs would dare cite him for a loose ball foul, despite that he hacked Mike Bibby about twelve times in four seconds?

I despise the Lakers. But they're going to win. Bag it. And, unfortunately, Phil Jackson will get his ninth title, tying him with Red Auerbach for the most all-time league championships. The two are in a spat because Auerbach said recently he more respects Larry Brown and Lenny Wilkens (zero titles between them) than Jackson (eight titles by himself). Auerbach's right. Let Phil Jackson win with a team that doesn't have the game's greatest player on its roster (or, in the case of the Lakers, the game's two greatest players), and then we'll talk about his all-time standing among the game's great coaches.

Crispin Sartwell really ought to write more. Everything he's done for Tech Central thus far has been wonderful. I'm on a philosophy kick of late, so his piece posted today particularly drew me in. He looks at a new piece of software that enables a computer to provide accompaniment to human musical improvisation. Since improv is by definition unplanned and loosely ordered, that someone could figure out a way to allow the ordered universe of computers to successfully back, say, a John Coltrane solo, is pretty remarkable. Sartwell uses that software as a springboard into a discussion of the seeds of human decision making, and, actually, whether there really is a decision-making process that's uniquely human.

Friend/ex-colleague Rob McCutcheon writes with this:

Hey,

Just wanted to thank you for those updated numbers on the nuclear fallout in
Pakistan!

Rob

D.C. BLOGGERS' PARTY

Just a few days left. If you're in or around D.C. this Thursday, you're encouraged to attend. No, you don't have to maintain a blog to get in. Any and all are welcome. We'll be upstairs at the Rendezvous lounge, which is at 18th and Kalorama, Northwest D.C. Kicks off at 7ish.

George Will on our litigious society:

In 1924 Will Rogers said Americans thought they were getting smarter because "they're letting lawyers instead of their conscience be their guide." Rogers was from Oologah, Okla., where in 1995 a child suffered minor injuries when playing unattended on the slide in the town park. The parents sued the town, which subsequently dismantled the slide.

Products come plastered with imbecilic warnings (on a baby stroller: "Remove child before folding.") for the same reason seesaws and swings are endangered species of playground equipment: fear of liability. A federal handbook morosely warns: "Seesaw use is quite complex." So seesaws are being replaced with spring-driven devices used by only one child at a time. Swings? Gracious, suppose a child falls on the -- imagine this -- ground. The federal handbook again: "Earth surfaces such as soils and hard-packed dirt are not recommended because they have poor shock-absorbing properties." No wonder a Southern California school district has banned running on the playground.

Today, when a patient complains of a headache, a doctor, even when knowing that an aspirin is almost certainly the right treatment, may nevertheless order an expensive CAT-scan. You cannot be too careful in a country in which six Mississippians have been awarded $150 million not because they are sick but because they fear that they someday may become sick from asbestos-related illnesses.

Michael Freedman reports in Forbes magazine that 42 percent of obstetricians are leaving the Las Vegas area now that 76 percent of that city's obstetricians have been sued -- 40 percent of them three or more times. Pharmaceutical companies are limiting research on "orphan drugs" that treat serious but rare diseases because tort liability is so disproportionate to possible return on investment.

So it goes with the "aspiring writer." Come up with a unique "insight scoop," relish in getting it published somewhere, then cringe when a bigger name with a broader outlet later comes to the same conclusions, and your "scoop" is buried. Will of course is a very bright fellow, and it's flattering that we've found the same issues and lines of argument important. And I'll readily concede, his columns are exponentially better argued and more articulate than mine.

But let me tell you, if George Will writes about Straight, Inc. and the Semblers next week, heads are gonna' roll. Something tells me that threat won't need backing up.

A fascinating article in this morning's Washington Post:

The Geneva Conventions ostensibly require belligerents to take every possible precaution to minimize civilian casualties. So if an air force drops dumb bombs that might inadvertently kill civilians when it could have dropped smart bombs that probably would not, doesn't it leave itself open to accusations of war crimes?

This is interesting. It's possible that our advances in military technology are creating artificially high expectations from our (alleged) allies. Forget Geneva for a moment. The question here is too intellectually juicy to miss: Morally, are we always obligated to use the higher-tech, more expensive, more accurate "smart" bombs? If we have the capability to avoid civilian casualties by spending a bit more, does that then make the less accurate, less expensive traditional "dumb" bombs ethically unacceptable, and thus obsolete? What if we've used up the sophisticated stuff (as we nearly did in Afghanistan) and our military is needed elsewhere? If the threat isn't immediate (Iraq, for instance) must we what until we've replenished our more civilian-friendly arsenal?

The flip side then is that you run the risk of hindering technology. If the mere existence of high-cost smart bombs renders low-cost "dumb" bombs obsolete, what incentive is there for the Pentagon to invest in ever smarter, ever more efficient weaponry? That is, if you have a high-priced smart bomb that can knock out a chemical weapons plant without disturbing the baby milk factory next door, or a low-cost dumb bomb that will wipe out both buildings for a quarter the cost, might Pentagon brass might eventually come to regret that the "smart" technology was ever developed? And at what cost-benefit ratio does using the dumb bombs become morally acceptable?

Yes, diplomacy is certainly a factor here. We win points with neutral parties by avoiding civilian casualties. But as the author of this piece notes, what once were positive points have now hardened into expectations. Our chits for spending extra money to save innocent lives are now a diplomatic burden. France, Russia, Germany et.al, know we have the technology to circumvent civilian casualties, so now they expect us to use it. Witness the diplomatic dustups the past six months each time a stray bomb has knocked out a huddle of Afghan civilians.

The article also points out that we spend more on military R&D; than Europe and Asia combined. We take a lot of heat for our national defense budget, ostensibly from the same quarters that rail against us for peripheral loss of life in our military engagements. It's likely that the same critics who want us to use ever more sophisticated civilian-sparing weaponry would have us cut the very R&D; budget that's lead to that technology in the first place.

Finally, there's the war crimes angle. The mere existence of intelligent weaponry suggests to some that what otherwise might be considered accidental "casualties of war" stray bombs and missed targets have more sinister motives. The bombing of the Chinese embassy in Kosovo is the example the author points out. If the U.S. can deliver a cruise missile to the front door of a munitions plant from 800 miles away, critics are likely to point out, how are we to believe that a bomb equipped with the same sophisticated guidance systems "accidentally" knocked out the Chinese embassy? And if that bomb wasn't equipped with the sophisticated stuff, doesn't the U.S. have some blood on its hands? As our delivery systems mature in sophistication, those questions are likely to grow more and more pointed each time a stray missile hits an unintended target.

I obviously don't agree with the "war crimes" argument, and I think it's yet another reason why President Bush's refusal to make the U.S. party to an International Criminal Court was the correct one.

But there are some significant ethical questions afoot here. What's the extent of our moral obligation to spare civilian casualties? At what financial cost?

I don't know what the answers are. But they're damned provocative questions.