Happy two-year Blogiversary Matthew.

Posted by Vicky at 12:00 PM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

What type of screwed up society do we live in? It's apparently alright for a police officer to point a gun at a nine-year-old boy's head, make him lie on the ground, then handcuff him and arrest him for playing with a toy gun on a city street. But in Iraq a colonel who brandished his weapon during an interrogation and gained information which actually foiled a sniper attack against U.S. troops faces either court martial and imprisonment or resignation without benefits.

This should have played out differently. The police officer should be severely reprimanded and the colonel should be given a promotion and lauded as a hero. For this and many other reasons, I am quickly losing faith with humanity and the world, both of which are pretty well fubar'd.

Posted by Vicky at 06:21 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

Britney Spears proves once again that her brain is as blonde as her hair. While discussing her recent-semi nude publicity shots for her new album, she stated:

I had, like, eight Red Bulls and said, "Okay, let's do it."

Those are truly words to live by. I wonder if that's also what it took for her to actually sleep with Justin Timberlake.

Posted by Vicky at 02:56 PM | | Comments (1) | Trackback (0)

It appears I may have been mentioned, in a very off-hand manner, on NPR this evening. I didn't listen to it, but Matt phoned me and said they did a story about the William Rehnquist Bobble Head Doll, and whoever they interviewed said something to the effect of "if you google it, the first thing you get is a blog." Well, if you google it, the first thing you get is my blog post about the doll, which is pretty pathetic because it's just a one line post saying "gee, I want one."

Go figure.

At any rate, I hope the googlers at least decide to stick around long enough to read some of my more meaningful posts so that the general NPR listenership doesn't think I'm a complete moron ... AND ... I wonder why it took NPR five whole months to report this story .... AND ... I wonder why the interviewee felt he couldn't mention my blog by name? I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, that I won't sue him.

PS: Matt and I just recently donated $30.00 to our local NPR station, KUAF, so don't hate us, people!

Posted by Vicky at 06:32 PM | | Comments (2) | Trackback (0)

In an attempt to drive all restaurants out of business except for national or international chains which, in addition to providing bland servers and shitty food, are the only ones who can afford to hire Registered Dieticians, the Food and Drug Administration is proposing to require restaurants to list the caloric values of every item they serve on their menus.

The FDA apparently does not realize that most Americans DO KNOW which foods are healthful and which foods are not, and that their decision to eat a super-sized meal deal from McDonald's or Burger King is a matter of personal choice moreso than ignorance of the negative gastronomical and nutritional consequences. Therefore, attempts to "regulate" one of the most natural of all human functions -- eating -- seems a bit silly to me. Personally, when I go out and eat my ass off, I know exactly what I'm doing. I do it deliberately and I don't want a caloric breakdown shoved in my face to make me feel bad about myself.

Okay, so let the government force all restaurants to put caloric values on their menus. That only means that congressmen and senators who eat every day at their little clubs, or at exclusive restaurants, will be made to feel guilty about the foods they apparently can afford to enjoy which the rest of us cannot -- unless they somehow include an exemption for their own personal meals.

If any senator or congressman votes for this bill and then continues to eat unhealthily after it has been passed, I hope a slew of media maggots is there to record the event.

Posted by Vicky at 03:21 PM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

Our next-door neighbors (who I think might be Catholic because they are New York Italian) have a Jack o' Lantern with a crucifix carved in it. Wouldn't this be considered heretical in some circles?

Posted by Vicky at 01:45 PM | | Comments (3) | Trackback (0)

Here's a fitting follow-up to the Ramadan Day massacres:

"Honour Killings" On The Rise

Tehran - Forty-five young women have been murdered in so-called "honour killings" in Iran's majority ethnic Arab southwestern province of Khuzestan in a two-month period this year, press reports said.

So-called "honour killings" are carried out for a variety of reasons, including a girl's refusal to agree to an arranged marriage, not abiding by the strict Islamic dress code or simply having contacts with males who are not family members.

Honor killings and other Islamic "customs" are barbaraic enough, but if it's true that Iran is also seeing a "return of pre-Islamic traditions," then I can only conclude that "devolution" is occurring. It doesn't do much good to be referred to as the "cradle of civilization" if you don't eventually get your ass potty trained and start sleeping in a big person's bed.

Posted by Vicky at 10:01 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (1)

I have to hand it to those Muslims. They sure know how to throw a good holiday. At any rate, they certainly kicked off Ramadan with a bang, killing dozens of people -- mostly Iraqi citizens -- in suicide bombings throughout Baghdad this very morning, the first day of their sacred month of "worship and contemplation."

To make this year's holiday all the more memorable, the Ramabomb Squad targeted that viscious Muslim-hating organization, the International Red Cross, and Iraqi police stations throughout Baghdad, whose officers are deemed traitors and collaborators for actually working to establish order and training to one day take over law enforcement from Coalition forces.

I read here a summary of what a faithful Muslim is not to do during Ramadan fasting:

The tongue must desist from slander and back-biting. The eyes must restrain themselves from any unlawful look. The hand must not touch or take what does not belong to it. The ears must not listen to idle talk, gossip, lyrics and notes that contain obscene and indecent things; the nose must fast also by not sniffing, smelling unlawful things. The feet must fast by not going to places where sinful acts are propagated.

Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, have no sex. "Refrain from destroying public property and murdering scores of innocent people" is conveniently not listed, unless you assume that another person's life does not belong to you and, therefore, taking that life is tantamount to stealing.

Posted by Vicky at 06:43 AM | | Comments (1) | Trackback (0)

It's that time of year, when the temperature drops outside, and all the flies come inside. I failed to notice this phenomenom last year, but this year the extended fly community has decided that the Drachenberg household is the place to winter. Sitting on the couch with a halo of flies around my head made me feel like the dumpster behind EZ Mart and, without a fly swatter, I was reduced to chasing them around with rolled up newspaper and writing tablets.

That proved both demeaning and unsuccessful, but I did manage to vacuum up a slew of them that had congregated around the dog food bowl like it was a beach resort. The surviving flies, who apparently didn't appreciate losing their bretheren in such a manner, started regular dive bombing missions on my face, cleverly waiting until I just reached that REM level of sleep that I crave so much. Then, of course, I looked like the neighborhood psycho batting imaginary objects in the air and cursing in my sleep.

After a week of chasing, batting, dodging and cursing, I couldn't take it anymore and bought fly swatters -- 2 for 88 cents. It was one of the happiest purchases I ever made. I smiled as I chose between traditional white and psychedelic pink and placed my selection gingerly into my basket. I smirked as I drove home in anticipation of destroying their little fly bodies. I would never have imagined that such a simple purchase could transform me from a lunatic into a happy smiling person.

There's something so very therapeutic about violently smashing the swatter down on a fly's sorry ass and yelling HA!! at the top of my lungs. I am convinced now that the first step on the road to mental health is dead flies. Lots and lots of dead flies. Watch your butts, you flying marauders. There's a new sheriff in town, and she's packing heat. [play theme from "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" here].

Posted by Vicky at 09:28 AM | | Comments (4) | Trackback (0)

At least the guy is from Arkansas:

You are Juan Moreno!!


Which Completely Random Person Are You!!
brought to you by Quizilla

Frighteningly, the other day I actually did pause for a moment in front of the Wendy's sign that said "now hiring management positions."

Link via Dawn Olsen a/k/a Gordon Goldstein

Posted by Vicky at 11:20 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (3)

Haven't we all felt like this at one point or another:

Civil Servant Requests Permission To Commit Suicide

An Indian civil has asked his superiors for permission to kill himself in protest at what he claims is a corrupt and bureaucratic system.

Interestingly, his office is actually inquiring into "the legality of the matter and whether or not suicide is a work place issue." Gosh. I tried this once with my boss, and he just stared at me with wide, frightened eyes and then fired me.

Posted by Vicky at 12:00 AM | | Comments (1) | Trackback (0)

This has to be some of the best blog schwag I've ever seen.

Thanks, Bitchypoo, for the much-needed laugh!

Posted by Vicky at 12:00 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

This interesting item was in my referral log, as the result of an MSN search for "Lusty Ladies."

And Jo from Seething will be most honored to learn that I received this referral for the ever-popular "Poopy Jo" search!!

Should I be frightened or amused? Please advise!!

Posted by Vicky at 11:10 PM | | Comments (1) | Trackback (0)

Whenever I suddenly find myself in a pissy mood -- as has suddenly happened now because The Yankees are losing -- I just need one heartwarming animal story to make me feel gooey and happy again:

Llamas Leap To Injured Farmer's Defense

Llama farmer Graham Bailey fell in a rabbit hole in a field on his farm near Kettering, Northants, and was stranded for two hours before a passer-by heard his screams.

Attempts to rescue the pensioner were scuppered when the head llama led the animals in a circle and began dancing around to protect him, an air ambulance spokesman said.

"They came and made a circle around me, led by Milo who is their leader, and were very excited and dancing around. I think the paramedics were a bit concerned at coming any closer but I told them it would be all right.

"I actually use the llamas to protect the sheep from foxes and dogs, particularly during lambing season, because they make such good guards. They take their job very seriously so I wasn't surprised when they came to protect me."

How very fitting, considering Milo's name means "soldier." This has "tearjerker Disney cartoon" written all over it.

Posted by Vicky at 07:04 PM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

Who knew the "gene pool" was located in the Ocklawaha River:

Man Dies With A Fish In His Mouth

A man died with a 4-inch fish in his mouth in what police said may have been an attempt to imitate a television stunt.

Henry Thomas Buckner, 27, of Middleburg, was fishing with his stepfather, Paul Beasley, 47, and two friends on the Ocklawaha River on Sunday when they noticed Buckner bleeding from the mouth, a Putnam County sheriff's report said.

Beasley and the others were unable to pull the fish out of Buckner's mouth, so they drove the boat to shore and started driving him to Putnam Community Medical Center, the report showed.

Beasley called 911, then pulled into a convenience store. Buckner was transported to a hospital, where he died.

So many bream, so little time.

Posted by Vicky at 12:28 PM | | Comments (2) | Trackback (0)

Matthew at Overtaken by Events has summed up this morning's online reading quite nicely. I was particularly glad to learn John Mohammad "thought his lawyer was an idiot and fired himself."

Posted by Vicky at 12:08 PM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

PETA must have temporarily run out of tasteless stunts designed to alienate and shock moreso than to enlighten, because the organization recently asked yet another town to change its name:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals on Tuesday asked Contra Costa supervisors to consider changing the unincorporated town's name to "Unity", in tribute to the Union Oil Company, which employed many East Bay residents through much of the 20th century.

The name Rodeo, PETA says, conjures images of a brutal, anachronistic sport that glorifies animal cruelty.

The group offered $20,000 worth of meatless patties for the West Contra Costa community's schools if supervisors authorize the move. The request coincides with the Grand National Rodeo, Horse and Stock Show's run at the Cow Palace in San Francisco.

This idea is almost as brilliant as PETA's recent purchase of 150 shares of stock of Hormel Foods in order that it may "submit shareholders resolutions" to end animal abuse. I'm sure PETA contributors were thrilled to learn their donations were invested in SPAM products, despite the fact that there are still about 138 million shares of Hormel outstanding, making the scheme totally pointless.

Fortunately, the good people of Rodeo recognized the name change request as the transparent publicity stunt it is, refused to cowtow to PETA (pun intended) and told the organization, in no uncertain terms, to go sit on a cowpatch. It is my considered opinion that PETA already does just that, because its members must be high on shrooms to think these undignified and ridiculous ploys will work.

Who will they descend upon next, the 26 residents of Deadhorse, Alaska? Beware PETA people. I bet every one of them owns a gun.

Posted by Vicky at 11:08 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

I quit saying "it couldn't get any worse" because I know from experience I would only be setting myself up for immediate disappointment. Case in point:

The WB network will soon be airing another exciting program for the intellectually challenged:

Former televangelist wife Tammy Faye Messner and porn legend Ron Jeremy are Hollywood Hills mansion housemates for nearly two weeks in WB's "Surreal Life 2" which began taping on Monday.

The odd couple share the house and act as house hosts for 11 days. They will have four other roommates - rapper Vanilla Ice, "ChiPs" actor Erik Estrada, former "Baywatch" actress Traci Bingham and "Real World: Las Vegas" cast member Trishelle. They will also have a celebrity guest move in each week.

I ask, aren't Vanilla Ice and Erik Estrada just going to ruin everyone's good time, and wouldn't "Madonna, Whore and Friends" be a catchier title?

Posted by Vicky at 09:37 AM | | Comments (4) | Trackback (0)

Having been under the weather of late and absent-minded as usual, I forgot to mention that our dear AstreaEdge has found himself a new home, which is located here. Please update your blogrolls and go pay him a friendly visit.

Good luck to you AstreaEdge, and please keep in touch with us!!

Posted by Vicky at 08:41 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

I guess this is good:

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

At least Matthew will never have to buy another cigarette lighter. Link found via Bogieblog.

Posted by Vicky at 08:27 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

The American public education "system" should be right proud, as one of Massachusett's highest-paid civil servants has finally passed the literacy test required of all the state's public educators:

LAWRENCE, Mass. -- Schools Superintendent Wilfredo T. Laboy has passed the state-mandated literacy test on his fourth try.

Mayor Michael J. Sullivan said Laboy called him with the news. Laboy had been told by state officials he would be replaced in his $156,560-a-year job if he didn't pass by year's end.

Laboy received a "100 percent perfect score" on the portion of the test he previously struggled with most -- the writing mechanics section which requires test-takers to transcribe an audio passage using proper punctuation, spelling, and capitalization.

Well, bully for him. After placing on administrative leave two dozen teachers who failed the same exam as he, he was given a fourth chance to pass a fairly rudimentary test in order to save the one written convention he apparently recognizes -- six figures on a redeemable check.

Perhaps instead of any yearly bonus, Laboy should be given a copy of "Hooked on Phonics."

Posted by Vicky at 11:15 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (3)

Vicky and I are celebrating two very short years of marriage. Time is just blazing by.

You can leave notes of sympathy to Vicky in the comments.

Posted by Vicky at 02:07 PM | | Comments (4) | Trackback (1)

Happy Birthday to the lovely and talented Rita Hayworth, who was born this day in 1918, and died of Alzheimer's Disease in 1987.

Posted by Vicky at 12:42 PM | | Comments (2) | Trackback (1)

I seem to have contracted a flu bug. I thought it was just passing through, but it has decided to make itself at home. Light to no posting this weekend, I think. Please avail yourselves of the many fine sites listed on your left. Thanks.

Posted by Vicky at 01:21 AM | | Comments (2) | Trackback (1)

Extra! New Yorkers like to get plastered:

Some 88 percent of New Yorkers have come to work hung over, a survey found. Meanwhile, 17 percent have come to the office slightly intoxicated.

The survey was commissioned by Brandywine Cider Company, which markets a gelatin-based shot called a BuzzBomb.

The shots contain 30-proof cherry-flavored vodka mixed with caffeine and Vitamin B. The idea is that if you're one of the 5 percent of workers who have come to work sick after drinking, the chemical stimulant will offset the catatonia.

What a concept! I know several people who hide these little gems in their desk drawers.

Posted by Vicky at 12:46 PM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

How dare Fox not show my Simpsons reruns in order to air some unknown program called the "American League Championship Series!" How the hell am I supposed to clean my kitchen? This country is really going to hell.

Posted by Vicky at 06:29 PM | | Comments (5) | Trackback (1)

Rob from BusinessPundit and Jay Solo debuted their first ever Carnival of the Capitalists on Sunday.

Modeled after the Carnival of the Vanities, this weekly roundup is intended to be a "Best Of the Blogosphere" for posts covering business, economics, stocks, accounting, taxes, business law, and related topics.

More information and submission guidelines can be found here. Congratulations on your new venture, Rob and Jay. I hope it is a tremendous success.

Posted by Vicky at 10:17 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (0)

What Would Homer Do? Some church goers are about to find out:

A Scottish church is to run a course on the Gospel according to The Simpsons to try to boost congregations. Church leaders at Holburn West Church in Aberdeen say the adventures of Homer and his family are an ideal way to explore moral and religious dilemmas.

Each of the four meetings will cover a different episode with a group discussion of the main themes taking place after.

The Rev George Cowie, spokesman for the Presbytery in Aberdeen, said: "Despite its anarchic humour, The Simpsons is one of the few television programmes which portrays a modern family who attend church regularly.

Even I would be willing to go back to church to participate in these discussions, especially if they analyze the famed "Ina Gadda Da Vida" episode and interpret Homer's famous quote, "I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming."

Posted by Vicky at 09:31 AM | | Comments (2) | Trackback (2)

Yes, I said it and I mean it. Hooray for Christopher Columbus! Hooray for any individual whose historical achievements provide at least some of the American people with a much-needed day of rest.

Personally, I never paid much attention to Columbus Day, or most other federal holidays. This isn't because I don't admire the individuals or events for which the holidays represent, but because (1) I pretty much naturally accept all proven contributions various persons have made to our country, and (2) most of these holidays don't provide me, personally, with one thing I covet greatly -- a bleeding day off of work.

However, on this particular day I celebrate with fervor the accomplishments of an Italian gentlemen named Cristoforo Columbo, popularly known to us all as Christopher Columbus. I celebrate this day first, because I'm Italian, but more significantly, because I am highly annoyed by the onslaught of anti-Columbus protests from that certain sector of the public who never fails to pop up at every turn intent on finding one thing or another wrong with American culture, so it can relish in its protest du jour in order to momentarily distract itself from its own innate but very obvious sense of guilt, lack of a true direction and personal unhappiness.

It appears Colorado is the national focal point of such anti-Columbus sentiment, with groups, including AIM and others, showing their dissatisfaction by holding public demonstrations and physically blocking Columbus Day parades. Despite the fact that Colorado was the first state to recognize Columbus Day as a legal holiday, circa 1905, certain factions have come full circle in this regard, considering Columbus no better than a Nazi war criminal and demanding that the name of the holiday be changed.

No rationally-minded individual would deny American citizens the right to protest anything they wish. However, it would be a lie and a crime to simply erase from history one of Western Civilization's most important explorers, Cristoforo Colombo, whose experiences led directly to the establishment of not just the United States, but of all the Americas -- North America, Central America, South America and the island nations lying therewith.

Because of Columbus' accomplishments, an entire race of people emerged -- namely, the Hispanics, a title Columbus himself coined when he named the Caribbean Island of Hispanolia. Do any of us want the Hispanic population to cease to exist? I hope the answer to this question is a resounding "NO." This is just one of several important examples why we cannot erase Columbus' accomplishments from the history books, simply because the dated manner of achieving such accomplishments may go against our modern social sensibilities.

Posted by Vicky at 11:10 AM | | Comments (0) | Trackback (1)

Because (despite the fact that we are grown adults in a free society) we cannot be trusted to make our own decisions regarding our personal health and well-being, our employers have decided to stick their noses into our lives and take the responsibility into their own hands:

Across the country, companies, states and schools are taking more aggressive — if perhaps passive-aggressive — measures to get an increasingly overweight society to move more and eat less. The new methods go beyond putting gyms in office buildings or teaching children (or adults) the virtues of broccoli.

Sprint planned its 200-acre world headquarters with an eye to fitness. It banned cars, forcing employees to park in garages on the far side of a road ringing the campus and walk between buildings as much as a half-mile apart. It put in hydraulic — that is, slow — elevators and wide, windowed staircases to encourage people to walk rather than ride between floors.

Hooray for American workers! In addition to being forced to walk half a mile through rain, wind, blistering heat or freezing cold, they will never again be able to run an errand during lunch, and it will take them even longer to get to and from work. I sure hope they took into consideration disabled or ill employees for whom this forced exercise would be unhealthy or impossible. I also hope these companies have an extremely casual dress code in place, because I don't anticipate many women being ecstatic about having to walk long distances and climb flights of stairs while wearing short skirts and high heels.

Posted by Vicky at 02:23 PM | | Comments (6) | Trackback (1)