Are You Good in Bed?

Brought to you by Instructional Sex DVD's - From Pleasing Men to How to Strip

1. When did you lose your virginity?

junior high
high school
college
around your 21st birthday
after a ring was on your finger
you're still a virgin!


2. Your boyfriend asks you to talk dirty in bed. He seems really turned on by the idea... you:

Whisper "Don't stop" and "I'm cumming" ever so often
Start shouting, "Yes, baby, your cock is so hard. I worship your dick, so give me more"
Figure out what totally gets your guy off, and say it to him while he's doing you
Give it a shot, but you end up feeling totally goofy.
Try to say any four-letter word but get embarassed
Won't talk dirty, period.


3. Have you ever broken or ruined furniture from having sex?
They know you by your first name at the furniture store.
Many times.
You think so - it's all a blur.
You've certainly ruined some sheets!
Gosh, no.
Never even came close.


4. You are alone at your guy's place, and you run across his rather extensive porn collection - and it's pretty kinky. Your reaction?
You cry to your best friend and break up with your guy almost immediatley.
You're mildly interested, and look up his fetishes on Google.
You're not surprised... you've even been in a few vids yourself.
You're so disgusted that you throw the videos out.
You're so turned on that you hit your guy on his cell - and give him some very *interesting* things to look forward to.
You freak out. If he's really into this stuff, it's over.


5. What's the only thing a woman needs to seduce a man?
a brain
a big rack
a vagina
a pan of lasanga
a sweet disposition
attitude


6. How do you feel about BDSM?
You guess you could get spanked, or something...
You're a total expert... you practically live in a dungeon.
It can totally intensify orgasm, but you're good without it.
You don't know... pain is scary.
Mmmmm, nipple clamps
No way. Never. Totally out of the question.


7. What road sign best describes your blow job technique?
Minimum Speed 40
Men Working
Caution
Slippery When Wet
Tunnel Ahead
Toledo, Next Exit


8. When it comes to watching yourself have sex...
No way. Total turn off.
Lights on, mirrors all around
You're all over the internet getting your thing on - everyone watches
You'll have sex during the day... if it's not a "fat day"
You'll videotape it and watch it with your partner sometime
You're not sure how to do that...


9. What’s your favorite room of the house to have sex in?
bedroom
living room
bathroom
front yard
alone in your closet
any room with a floor


10. When it comes to getting yourself off...
That's your only way that you ever have sex... with yourself.
You'll go there from time to time
You've got a whole toy chest, and it's not for kids
Practice makes perfect, especially with others.
You still feel self conscious about it
You'll prefer not to consider it, unless you're pretty desperate.


11. Which femme fatale is your idol?
Marilyn Monroe
Madonna
Mary Kate and Ashley
Gwen Stefani
Christina Aguilera
Avril Lavigne


12. What do you do if your man is about to come too soon?
Stop making noises and hope he loses focus.
Fingernails in the back. Deep in the back.
Say “No, not yet! Not yet!”
Switch positions and hope that holds the flow.
Your knee, his balls, a little pressure.
Ask “So, how’s your mom doing?”


13. Which email address could be yours?
drrrrtygirl@yesyesyes.com
ILuvMen@kiss.net
DoIt2Me@gottahaveit.org
Horny4Life@sexkitten.com
IsThisRight@clueless.net
LittleMissInnocent@virgin.com


14. What’s on your bed when you're not sleeping in it?
your favorite quilt
stuffed animals
your cat
dirty clothes
lingerie
spare men


15. Complete the following sentence: I can have any man I want if I put my _______ to it.
mind
wiggle
jiggle
pussy
cooking skills
task force

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