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[09 Dec 2002|03:11pm] |
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*meep*
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[29 Aug 2002|01:15am] |
tonight was amazing. Actually this whole past week has been amazing. I want to talk a little bit about what's been happening and the people that I'm meeting.
First theres Joe, my roomate from Pacifica. Joe is an extremely cool guy and we get along great. We listen to the same music and he's a smart guy. He wakes up then I wake up in the morning, and normally I just shadow him and in the process of sitting up in bed I get my day started. And if things weren't great enough there I met a whole bunch of people off of him. Theres the two Johns across from me, both awesome people and completely become some of my best friends here. Then theres the people you meet completely by chance that stop in randomly to say hi. One of the first to do that and by far one of the most important people to me here yet is Chloe. I adore her, and so far we've done everything together from meeting and shopping with her sister to just picking up breakfast in a cafe. I think it's hard for me though because I'm starting to develop feelings and...well she drinks most nights and parties everywhere. It reminds me of how my dad used to get drunk, and it truly bothers me, But I haven't told her. I don't know. Then theres Vivian who just sort of waltzed in, and before we knew it (me and john) we found ourselves walking her to the movies tonight and getting to become awesome friends. Theres so many people here that I love talking to, sam, melissa, cindy, even james the gay guy who said he wants me because he actually has intelligent things to say and mary even though she took my by my collar and tackled me on my bed (but hey, this stuff never happened to me at home so I need somewhere to tell someone how much I enjoy it here.)
It's beautiful and full of culture. I honestly don't know how I could've lived in LA sometimes but I still miss most of my friends. Life is always changing, and it never really hits you until, well until it changes. I'm just hoping that this time around, I can make up for the times I went wrong in the past.
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[27 Aug 2002|11:59pm] |
I fucking hate having feelings for someone who drinks and drinks and drinks...
I have never in my life been a violent person but I want to take a vodka bottle and smash it against a wall as hard as I can and scream
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[27 Aug 2002|01:38am] |
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music |
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Radiohead - Bullet Proof..I Wish I Was |
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Ok, more fun pictures of sfsu with lynzy! on night number 2
( Read more... )
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[26 Aug 2002|12:24am] |
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Lenny Kravitz - Again.mp3 |
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Ok. My first official night as a college student and dorm room liver guyer thingee. It's really great and I'm loving it completely. I'm adapting to the lifestyle and really getting a feel for living in the bay. I made friends with my roommate and met like so many people off of him and then like from there we went around to some apartment buldings and met some more people. At like midnight we ended up at this guys house who had a bunch of girls from japan/korea/china/phillipines just everywhere and they were watching j-pop videos and everything and it was really funny but I also snapped a shot of them with my camera so if you want to see some pictures of my dorm and the funny group in the apartment then just click on ahead.
( Read more... )
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[24 Aug 2002|10:15pm] |
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Well, I officially left my life behind in Los Angeles today and I'm in San Francisco now. It's beautiful here, and so much culture and skyscrapers it's just so much fun. I'm happy that I can start my life now any way I want to because I feel I have a better start on things that I screwed up on before. Move in to my dorm is tomorrow so for the night I'm staying with a relative. It's great. Call me on my cell if you have it. I think I'm just happy I escaped the valley/simi alive. But tomorrow night I'll know what my dorms like and I already talked to my roomate who seems like a pretty cool guy. but jeez, I have a craving to goto some small coffee corner here and just sit. That's the kind of city this is. It's amazing. Anyhow, just blabbing. Gotta get some sleep for the move in tomorrow. Talk to you guys later. byeee
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[23 Aug 2002|02:36am] |
Hmm...you know you're going to college when
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[22 Aug 2002|10:20pm] |
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Tomorrow is my last night home. I REALLY need someone to kidnap me and keep me out all night. either way, theres no way I'm sleeping that night. I'll sleep on the drive up. I need volunteers :)
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[22 Aug 2002|03:22pm] |
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I sooo just got housing 2 days before I go up there lol I'm ecstatic
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[20 Aug 2002|02:36pm] |
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Hmm. Isn't it sad when the height of your day is getting your own checks in the mail? lol actually I'm not kidding it's really fun for me. Ok, I'll stop being a dork now
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[19 Aug 2002|09:41pm] |
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I'm so turning legal in 2 and half hours :) Oh jeez. this has been the longest two weeks of my life. By the way, I've been awake 68 of the last 72 hours. healthy huh. I think so. I'm going crazy now. But finally I'm gonna get a nice long night of sleep and get better. mmm...sleep.
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[19 Aug 2002|09:05pm] |
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I can finally sleep again...ok I'm happy now. No more of that crappy stress
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[18 Aug 2002|10:42pm] |
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sad. my last weekend in the valley is gone. on the upside, things are wrapping up. Just one more day to go and Im 18. then 3 more days after that.
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[16 Aug 2002|10:28pm] |
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That's disheartening to hear that a kid from la was shot and killed at school, and that his 18th birthday was this tuesday :\ my 18th birthday is this tuesday. that's too surreal. arg. In other news - one more week left till I leave. But the upside is I'm number 4 on housing. I'm sure I'm gonna have a dorm waiting for me..........yay.......this week is too stressful.
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[12 Aug 2002|01:43pm] |
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Ok...I was number 25 on the housing waiting list for San Francisco for three weeks straight and in the last couple days I got pushed up to 9. So if by some miracle a student pulls out every day untill I leave, I'll have a dorm up there. Too much stress for too little a week :)
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[10 Aug 2002|06:51pm] |
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music |
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Liquid Mind - Laguna Indigo |
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Do you think i don't understand you? You chase a hopeless dream. This is your torment. You want to be, not to appear to be. To be in every instant concious of yourself and watchful. And at the same time you realize the abyss that seperates what you are for yourself from what you are for the others, and this makes you dizzy, scared to be discovered, scared to be left naked, to be unmasked, to be put again into your limits. Because every word is a lie, every smile a grimace. What is the hardest role to play?
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[08 Aug 2002|02:02am] |
I am completely ecstatic right now and I don't know why! hah. But I love it. I have my headphones on blasting just about at full volume and I'm totally rocking out which has gotta look hilarious but I'm having the time of my life. The sad thing is I started getting all this energy right AFTER I got home from being with my friends. I'm such a dork sometimes but I love this so much.
Oh and I found that my school actually has a livejournal community which sorta scares me lol but I'm meeting new people on it so it's a major plus.
I'm tired but I'm not. I'm energized but I'll come off it and fall right asleep. I know it.
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[06 Aug 2002|09:04pm] |
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two and half more weeks to go.
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| Unchained Melody |
[06 Aug 2002|04:51am] |
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 tired |
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The sound of my fan running... |
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I've never woken up with a cold sweat before. especially not at 4 something in the morning. And, with the sleep deprivation I've been getting lately I also don't even think it's possible. But...here I am....
To be perfectly honest I don't even like writing in live journal sometimes. Not always but lately. Ironically though whenever I start it comes out a lot longer than I want it to be. So I'm gonna try to make this short and sweet. I don't normally like to write here because everything is either too short, or too long, and I never get out my point. hah, I confuse myself too. but I only seem to write when I need to, which is ok I guess considering it's my own journal.
Lots of things are really bothering me right now. But at the same time a lot of things are great too. Normally they do well to cancel each other out but I get these moments sometimes where I become really horribly unstable. I realize that out of every single person I talk to, I only confide in a few, and I talk to even less about the really bad things in my life. Like only about one or two people ever hear me bitch and moan without me holding back. And maybe I need to be more open about everything. I don't know. I realize I've been completely cut off to most of my livejournal friends for a while now, and even though I think/know that most of you won't be reading this, I really need some support right now. Not just for the bad things right now, but for the things down the road I know I can see coming, for all of those nights I know I'll have that I'll want to come home, and for everytime Ill have a nostalgic memory that I'll miss, I need people there to talk to, really badly. And I need to know that some of you are out there. everything in my life keeps fluxuating back and forth, and people are coming and going really quickly. I just really wish someone would lay down something that's not gonna change. face value. that no matter the circumstance it will stay like that because it never had to be anything else. I miss that constant. I miss so much it's not even funny. I just need one person to say "I'll be there" when they meant it, and not take it back. But I don't think it's possible. Everything you say is negated by where you are and how people will react to it. I'm just...so completely fucking melodramatic sometimes :) but if I can sleep afterwards, then I guess it's worth it, even if I want to erase this when I'm really awake. It happened. And things happen. And you might not be able to take them back always but you can't deny what's right there. I've come to believe that theres no truths to life. Just a manipulation by people to fill in the gaps of what we don't understand. It's easier that way. But I'd be rambling if I went on. Just...whatever you guys do don't mislead people. Just...don't
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[04 Aug 2002|11:59pm] |
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This is the worst feeling in the world...
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