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        "There seem to be I.R.C. channels dedicated to every sexual 
         fetish, and I.R.C. users speculate that terrorists also use 
         the networks to communicate in relative obscurity..."
                         http://news.com.com/2100-1032_3-5207202.html
            /join #and_my_particular_fetish_is_winding_up_journalists


                               >> HARD NEWS <<
                               the old bamboos

         The WIPO broadcasting rights treaty - in which starving
         media corporations gratefully acquire a new IP right to
         control recordings of their broadcasts (because as everyone
         knows, home taping is killing broadcasters) slinks toward
         ratification. The final draft is up for discussion by
         government representatives this week. Just in time for a bit
         of democratic involvement: except nobody quite knows who
         those representatives are. THE UNION FOR THE PUBLIC DOMAIN
         is an old pressure group (with RMS, EFF dignitaries and
         various academics at the helm) which has been dusted down to
         discover who is in charge of the treaty in various countries
         and what their current opinion of the doc is. After that,
         comes the gentle pursuasion. Word on the (heavily-forwarded
         email) street is that they're short of UK and EU volunteers.
         If you fancy a bit of low-impact exercising of democratic
         power, mail David Tannenbaum, the UPD's British organiser
         and see what you can do.
         http://www.public-domain.org/
     - what we really need here is a picture of Stallman as Kitchener
         http://www.pervertedlogic.com/pserv/rms.jpg
                                - no we don't really. I SAID WE DON'T

         Chances are, the EFF's Cory Doctorow may well be touching on 
         the topics of copyright and fair use (among many other 
         interesting issues) at this year's NotCon on Sunday 6th June, 
         in the company of other confirmed speakers including Ian 
         "Freenet" Clarke, Bill "bonkers anti-blog blogger" Thompson, 
         NTK's own Danny "Lifehacks" O'Brien, the unveiling of an 
         all-new "hacking UK democracy" application, and someone who 
         promises to tell the time (not very accurately) using only "a 
         Marks and Spencer prawn sandwich and a BBC Micro". And don't 
         forget, you could be joining them on the hallowed stage of 
         Imperial College Union (South Kensington, inbetween the Royal 
         Albert Hall and The Science Museum) if you get your suggestion 
         in via the submissions form before the deadline of midnight 
         next Friday (the 14th) UK time. Incidentally, there haven't 
         been too many "Geolocation" or "Actual impacts of blogging" 
         proposals so far, and if no-one comes up with anything in the 
         latter category, that's technically letting the Thompsons and 
         Orlowskis win. 
         http://www.notcon04.com/
       - we'll invite him; he's probably busy not being Belle De Jour
        

                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         Virgin pioneer "bring a bottle" Alcoholics Anonymous meetings: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohaa.gif ... Apple owners hit 
         the Special Brew: http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohlag.gif ... 
         http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohklang.gif - nice double-
         vision... Economist's Linux fans diss Bill's MS stockholding: 
         http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohrubbish.gif ... Reg appears 
         to consider 1Hz PC the benchmark of "modern computer speeds": 
         http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohtera.gif ... would suit 
         Ghostbusters fan: http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohslim.gif 
         ... Google goofs o' the month - "thrustworthy computing", 
         "muslim cotton", "warning sings", "election beam", "hype park" 
         http://www.google.com/search?q=%22carnal+tunnel%22+arthritis 
         ... plane emerges from one end of factory, one slice after 
         another: http://www.ntk.net/2004/05/07/dohbus2.gif ... 


                               >> EVENT QUEUE <<
                         GOTOs considered non-harmful

         Sheesh - you wait all year for a public meeting on the 
         Government's proposed National Identity Card, and then two 
         come along at (almost) the same time. Privacy International's 
         MISTAKEN IDENTITY (from 1.30pm-5pm, Wed 2004-05-19, Old 
         Theatre, LSE, London WC2A, free but RSVP) currently has the 
         best lineup - Ross Anderson and at least 3 MPs - but the 
         BRITISH ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE will also 
         be wondering whether these biometric advancements are really 
         such a good thing at their X-CHANGE event (6.30pm, Wed 2004-
         05-26, Dana Centre, near Science Museum, London SW7) in the 
         company of UCL Professor Steve Miller and BBC Science 
         Correspondent Christine McGourty. Adding to the overall sense 
         of deja-vu is reader BRIAN MADEUP, who wants to know what 
         happened to the last "six months", "10,000 volunteer", "large-
         scale" trial of biometric passports which we were previously 
         told was planned to run from "January to June 2004"?
         http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/n_story.asp?item_id=709
              - ironically, getting tricky to tell the difference now
         http://www.stand.org.uk/mistakenidentity.php3
                    - Rt Hon David Blunkett, Home Secretary (invited) 
         http://www.the-ba.net/the-ba/Events/
                                 - details to appear here, eventually
         http://mond.at/swpat/
            - this Wed: Vienna demo against software patents, mit RMS
         http://joi.ito.com/joiwiki/LoicLondonMay04
                 - same day: London bloggers run buffet-up in brewery


                                >> TRACKING <<
               sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering

         So you've finally got your nice, clean, bugfree install of
         Mozilla Firefox. What better way to ruin it than with a
         bunch of extraneous, complex and alpha-quality extensions?
         Starting at the better-paved end of this road to ruin, the
         "OOK" extension is nice little hack to stick bookmarks where
         you need them - under the right-click context menu. Web
         developers will make that funny squeaking noise web
         developers make when they see the "Web Developer Extension
         Toolbar", which includes Tracking favourite "edit CSS" (now
         slipped into a sidebar), as well as various site
         testing/brokenness discovery/conformance checking/webmonkey
         twiddling buttons like "view response headers", "highlight
         images missing alt tags", "clear HTTP auth/cookies" and
         "resize to 640x400, 800x600, etc". Finally, for those of you
         somewhat suspicious that Apple's iCal was not "All That",
         the broadly comparable, open-sourcely grungey, and not half
         as psychedelic Mozilla Calendar project has now been ported
         to Firefox and Thunderbird. Cross-platformtastic!
         http://texturizer.net/firefox/extensions/#ook
                                                       - start simple
         http://www.chrispederick.com/work/firefox/webdeveloper/
                                                - get complex quickly
         http://www.mozilla.org/projects/calendar/download.html
                                               - now available on Mac!
 

                                >> MEMEPOOL <<
                contains a source of http://snackspot.org/

         makes more sense than a lot of the news satire sites nowadays: 
         http://www.industrialandmarine.com/rt/rndtimes_new.html ... 
         a UseCrime so severe, the "menu" needs an audio explanation: 
     http://www.kenwood.co.uk/clever/kframes.htm ... "one careful owner": 
    http://atsearch.autotrader.co.uk/www/CARS_popup.asp?id=200417140440092
         ... b3ta.com diversifying into abstract tech illustrations?: 
  http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101040510-632091,00.html
         ... Klingon prospers at Google, maths seems to be slipping: 
         http://services.google.com/tcbin/tc.py?cmd=status ... hope 
         these aren't just the usual "sex in space" urban myths: 
         http://www.in-sourced.com/article/articleview/1689/1/13/ vs 
         http://stack.dnsalias.net/~dphelan/archives/000047.html , 
         http://stack.dnsalias.net/~dphelan/archives/000049.html ... 
         there's more to adult movie titles than just dumb parodies 
         (NSFW): http://members.shaw.ca/stayasyouare/tohwpmt.html ...
         

                                >> GEEK MEDIA <<
                                  get out less
         
         TV>> Peter Ackroyd - the more mainstream Iain Sinclair - 
         provides a much-needed history of a UK city hardly ever seen 
         on television nowadays, LONDON (9pm, Fri, BBC2)... "more 
         disturbing when it was in Danish" is the diagnosis on Stephen 
         King's Lars Von Trier's Garth Merenghi's KINGDOM HOSPITAL 
         (10pm, Sun, BBC2)... but you can enjoy sub-war claustrophobia 
         in the original German in the miniseries of DAS BOOT (7.10pm, 
         Sun, BBC2)... "no topic is taboo", warns The Radio Times of 
         the new series of DEAD RINGERS (9pm, Mon, BBC2) - assuming, 
         that is, it can be tacked onto the same old impersonations of 
         Tom Baker, Ozzy Osbourne and Russell Crowe... Peter "from 
         Balham" Baynham is credited as writer/ director of new Baby 
         Cow animated anthropomorhpic antics I AM NOT AN ANIMAL (10pm, 
         Mon, BBC2)... and it's slightly tricky to keep track of who's 
         who in Japanese "Lord Of The Flies" with automatic weapons 
         BATTLE ROYALE (11pm, Mon, C4)... we enjoy it as much as 
         anyone, but GONE IN 60 SECONDS (9pm, Tue, ITV) returns only 8 
         months after its last showing on ITV... Tony Blair talking 
         about weapons of mass destruction is a reassuring inclusion in 
         the trails for THE WORLD'S GREATEST CONSPIRACY THEORIES (9pm, 
         Wed, C5)... while C4's Thursday-night filth slot aims to 
         satisfy those piqued by last week's look at voyeurism, with a 
         profile of that guy who photographed all those nudes in 
         Selfridges, NAKED WORLD (11.05pm, Thu, C4)... 
         
         FILM>> the trailer looks like Kate Beckinsale's been 
         overdubbed with a bad Eastern European accent in an ill-judged 
         Sega coin-op version of Konami's "Castlevania" - but it's just 
         Stephen "The Mummy" Sommers' latest CGI nonsense VAN HELSING 
         ( imdb: based-on-novel/ monster/ vampire-slayer/ werewolf/ 
         vampire/ dracula/ frankenstein's-monster/ dark-hero/ crossbow) 
         ... frankly we're more intrigued by the *psychological* demons 
         explored in the currently uncertificated/ only showing at the 
         ICA http://www.ica.org.uk/index.cfm?articleid=13225 arthouse 
         cyberthriller DEMONLOVER ( http://www.cndb.com/ : We see 
         [Chloe] Sevigny from the front, lying fully nude, for a few 
         seconds, on a hotel bed, playing a videogame)... other than 
         that, there's a wider release for Val-Kilmer-as-John-Holmes 
         more-based-on-fact-than-"Boogie Nights" drama WONDERLAND 
         ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0335563/goofs : Within the first 
         few minutes of the film, a second generation Honda Prelude is 
         seen passing in the street. In 1981 when the film takes place, 
         the Prelude was still in the first generation [1979 - 1982]) 
         ... than for Neve "Scream" Campbell's nothing-to-do-with-the-
         CIA ballet-school collaboration with Robert "MASH" Altman, THE 
         COMPANY ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2003/the_company.html :
         [CAUTION, POPUPS] A momentary glimpse of [Neve Campbell's] 
         bare breast from the side; The film could inspire some kids to 
         try to imitate the various dance moves and jumps that occur in 
         it; Dancers of both sexes wear tight, form-fitting and skin-
         colored outfits that show off every nook, cranny and bulge of 
         their bodies and make them appear nude from a distance - 
         particularly in the buttocks area)...
         
         AD MUSIC FOR SIX PEOPLE>> among some changes to the "new" 
         NTK - will it finally be time to retire the reviewing of 
         records purely on the basis of which TV ads they sound like? 
         Also, we suspect that enthusiastically incompetent releases 
         from GOLDIE LOOKIN' CHAIN http://www.youknowsit.co.uk/ , 
         evinced on such lyrical flights of fancy as "Half Man Half 
         Machine" ("I'm not like other people you might see or you 
         might know/ I made love to a BBC Micro") and (the largely 
         self-explanatory) "Your Mother's Got A Penis" will ultimately 
         make all other forms of music both redundant and unnecessary 
         ... until then, however, we still reckon that XTC's "Senses 
         Working Overtime" ("Trying to taste the difference 'tween the 
         lemons and limes", "And all the world is biscuit shaped/ It's 
         just for me to feed my face") might prove to be ideal for 
         Nestle's upcoming "Kit Kat White with Lemon and Yoghurt"; 
         PADDY SMITH suggested that "rice-based milk substitute Rice 
         Dream obviously needs to license Radiohead's 'Nice Dream' in 
         order to appeal to disaffected lactose-intolerant youth"; and 
         both DANIEL PEMBERTON and LEE MAGUIRE separately proposed 
         Ottowan's "D.I.S.C.O", the former for Blockbuster ("Rent a V-
         I-D-E-O") and the latter for - you've guessed it - T-E-S-C-O, 
         though neither expanded on what the acronyms might then stand 
         for ("T - terrible TV ads", and so forth)... which just leaves 
         it to BILL BUMGARNER to leap to the defence of one of those 
         "When Audiophiles Attack" sites we used to make fun of back in 
         2002: http://www.johnvestman.com/digital_myth.htm . "The guy 
         does make a number of valid points, including that different 
         brands of CDRs *do* sound different when burned with the same 
         material", Bill maintains. "This is mostly because audio CD 
         transports suck ass - they are manufactured as cheaply as 
         possible - and, combined with a shitty quality CDR, you will 
         get different quality sound from different burn rates and 
         different CDRs. To burn at a higher speed, the CD burner must 
         adjust the output of the laser to a higher degree to allow 
         each 'spot' to be burned more quickly. Obviously, changing 
         both the speed of the burn and the power of the burn causes 
         the exact qualities of the written spots to change". Whatever 
         next, eh - how gold-plated IDE cables improve the playback of 
         your MP3s?...

     

                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                       Registered at the Post Office as
                                "large, hairy"
               http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=55363        

                                 NEED TO KNOW
            THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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