Crawford, Texas (FA wire) - Shortly after former Senator Max Cleland's grandstanding visit to President Bush's ranch, new evidence emerged that called Cleland's Vietnam record into question.

A new group of veterans, calling themselves "Army Veterans for the Whole Story" have "two beefs" with Cleland's record: One, that he did not deserve the Bronze Star and Silver Star he was awarded during Operation Pegasus at Khe Sanh, and two, that his injuries were neither accurately reported nor as severe as Cleland claims.

According to one of the Whole Story Vets, Cleland's citation for the Silver Star is "full of lies." "Cleland's citation says that the command post came under a heavy rocket and mortar attack," said PFC Lance "Sheesh" Grommet. "But there was no attack. I was there. Khe Sanh was the slowest outpost in Vietnam, a place where you could play cards and flirt with the local women all day. The incident Cleland described to get his medals was actually a bar fight, and it was Max's fault. A Vietnamese kid bet him he could eat more hard-boiled eggs than Max, and Max lost. He shoulda paid the kid, but he wouldn't. End of story, and suddenly the guy's got a chest-full of medals. Sheesh."

Even more startling was the Whole Story Vets' claims that Cleland exaggerated his injuries in order to leave Vietnam. Cleland has long alleged that a grenade explosion blew off an arm and both his legs, and Army records seem to back him up. But the Whole Story Vets claim that a friend of Cleland's wrote the report as a favor in order to get him out of Vietnam.

At an AVWS rally yesterday, former Lieutenant George McBurroughs told the crowd that Cleland never actually lost his legs. Thronged by supporters waving signs that read "This Story Has Legs" and "Tell Max Cleland to Get Up," McBurroughs alleged that Cleland tucks his legs under him in his wheelchair for public appearances but is often sighted around Georgia swimming, jogging, and taking part in latin dance competitions. "As for the arm," McBurroughs said, "I was only a mile away when it happened. I saw the whole thing. There was no grenade. Cleland cut himself while shaving, and the wound is a lot less serious than it looks."

The AVWS plans to release several television ads to present their side of the story, and their forthcoming book, ""Fit as a Fiddle: The Max Cleland Story" has already reached #4 among pre-orders at Amazon.com. "We've been silent for too long," said Grommet, "but now it's time to shout it from the rafters. Max Cleland is no hero. The real heroes of the Vietnam War were the brave men who stayed here in the U.S., protecting our homeland rather than running away to some cushy tropical post. Sheesh."

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The Bush campaign rejected accusations Sunday from Sen. John Kerry's presidential campaign that it was using "tired, old smear tactics" by letting backers attack Kerry's Vietnam War record through an independent group.

Perry is also a longtime associate of Bush's top adviser, Karl Rove.

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Kerry is clearly unhinged if he sees some connection between Karl Rove's friend, longtime Bush funder Bob Perry and... Bush. That's ridiculous, and Kerry ought to apologize, take a few deep breaths, and stop with the tinfoil-hat stuff.

But it does seem like a pretty neat arrangement, doesn't it? Especially with the Swift Boat Veterans' complete lack of evidence of any sort and their demonstrable and admitted agenda. It seems that a smear, any smear at all, is a great way to get a conversation rolling.

So in the interest of balance, here are a couple of smears against George W. Bush. I don't have any evidence, just things I've heard around the water cooler, uh, somewhere. Your obvious next step (if you were a scurrilous and subversive personality, note that I am NOT encouraging anyone to DO this, no...) would be to pick one or two, cut and paste 'em into emails, and circulate them as widely as possible. Then, when Bush is forced to deny them, the Kerry camp can talk about how crazy and defensive he seems.

Sounds fun, right? Good luck! [I mean, have a good time reading these and imagining what might happen if some underhanded individuals, acting alone, were to & etc.]

1. It has long been rumored that George W. Bush was arrested for cocaine possession in 1972 and taken to the Harris County Jail, but records of the event seem to have disappeared. But now there's a new development. Sgt. Lyle Arthur Dobbs, the arresting officer in the case, has just come forward to confess to the coverup and reveal a previously untold detail: The arrest was for cocaine trafficking. The retired officer, now struggling with heart problems, claims that he "can no longer live with" his part in the coverup. As Dobbs reveals in his forthcoming book, "The Long White Line," in February of 1972 police in Harris County, TX, acting on a tip, performed a midnight raid on the apartment of the alleged "kingpins" of a local drug ring. What they did not expect to find was that one of the central players was none other than George W. Bush. Though Bush's name no longer appears on any police records, Dobbs offers the evidence that the bust itself is still a matter of public record, a third "principle" is listed as "not apprehended," and that the arrest took place at 5567 Lee Drive in Houston. The leaseholder at the time? George W. Bush.

2. Why is Bush so hostile to the idea of gay marriage? Perhaps because until 1977, George W. Bush was gay. According to a group of 29 Yale classmates who comprise "Gay Ivy Leaguers for Truth," Bush was "known to be at least sexually experimental throughout his time in college." One of Bush's alleged former boyfriends, Anthony Berusca (class of '70), told The Dallas Morning News that Bush was "deeply conflicted about being gay, even somewhat self-hating." Berusca is convinced that this conflict led to Bush's drinking problems, but describes the President as a "gentle, caring lover." In 1976, the Bush family arranged for George to join "Worthy Creations," a church group in El Paso that focusses on converting homosexuals through faith. A year later, Bush was straight, born again, and engaged to Laura Welch (Bush).

3. The issue of where exactly George Bush was during his last year of National Guard service has been thrown back and forth for years. But this week, 10 men surfaced to answer the question of why Bush's records are missing from the 187th Tactical Reconnaissance Group in Montgomery, Alabama: Bush wasn't supposed to be in Alabama at the time. He was supposed to be in Vietnam. According to one of his commanders, Lieutenant Colonel Richard Harter (ret.), soon after Bush's transfer to Alabama, approximately 1/5th of the 187th was activated for duty in Vietnam. George W. Bush was one of the men selected. Harter and his comrades have come forward to reveal that all efforts to locate Bush after the muster order met with dead ends, and the officers were quietly told to stop asking. Today, the men have only one document as evidence - the activation order from 1972, wherein the name after "Braddock, Charles C." is blurred beyond recognition on an otherwise legible document. The other men of the 187th served honorably in Vietnam, suffering the loss of 47 men and the wounding of 72 others. Lieutenant Colonel Harter and his group say that the current controversy over John Kerry's service made them realize that they "had to come forward and do what was right."