The Single Best Line - Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney and his speechwriters sure got me to laugh last night.

On Iraq, Senator Kerry has disagreed with many of his fellow Democrats. But Senator Kerry's liveliest disagreement is with himself. His back-and-forth reflects a habit of indecision, and sends a message of confusion. And it is all part of a pattern. He has, in the last several years, been for the No Child Left Behind Act and against it. He has spoken in favor of the North American Free Trade Agreement and against it. He is for the Patriot Act and against it. Senator Kerry says he sees two Americas. It makes the whole thing mutual — America sees two John Kerrys.

It's the mutual part that did it.

Text found on Yahoo via Outside the Beltway.

hln

Yawning Conventioneers

The convention is C-SPANNING between Brian and me on our friendly eMac. I can't help but notice (I'm working, really I am) while working that the "filler" speakers aren't getting much response to their speeches, even in scripted supposed-to-be enthusiastic moments.

The last excitement I heard was when Lt. Gov Steele had the podium.

I believe it's a conspiracy. The protestors have drugged the delegates and replaced them in order to heckle and tomato VP Cheney when he takes the stage. Just you watch.

Can you spot the liberals in the crowd? I challenge you.

hln

Au Contraire!

While I know I'm a specific and this article outlines a general, I must refute the claims of this article.

First, the claims:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Cancer can really mess up a person's life, even years after he or she has beaten the disease, U.S. researchers reported on Tuesday.

Cancer survivors have poorer health, lose more days from work and have a generally lower quality of life than people who have never had cancer, the study in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute (news - web sites) found.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (news - web sites) estimates that 9.8 million cancer patients and survivors are alive now in the United States. About 64 percent of adults and 79 percent of children now survive cancer for at least five years, the CDC says.

These patients have not been studied much, but a series of reports have called for better coordination of care for cancer survivors, especially children. They have found that the harsh treatments often needed to beat cancer, including surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, can themselves have lasting effects on health.

Yeah, that's nice. You, new cancer survivor, your life's gonna suck. Don't even listen to this. If you're an able-bodied cancer survivor (13 years almost for me, and I'm 32 now, blow a loud raspberry in the general direction of this study.

People, in general, your life's going to lose some quality if you don't...
1) Eat well.
2) Sleep well.
3) Get adequate exercise.
4) Mentally challenge yourself.
5) Positively combat stress.
6) Pursue activities (and people) that/who give you joy.

Bam. There it is. Same advice for cancer survivors as for the rest of the world. The cancer afflicted have two choices: die or survive. Nice boolean condition there. If you survive, you've obviously obtained the better of the two alternatives. Who gives a skinny rat's ass if you have to work a little harder for general "health" when you get a second shot at life. Think Lance Armstrong's whining because of his cancer experience? Obviously not. Anyone want to call him on his health?

Cancer is a wake-up call, a "whoa," whether you bring it on yourself (that stupid smoking thing) or if it's some strange environmental fluke like mine - or something that comes about because of hereditary conditions. I'm facing new side effects in the next x years (however many I have left) - possibilities of cancer treatment-induced cancer, etc. First scare was in June - passed, no issue. So what? What are my choices? Stay as healthy as possible. Take each day as a day. Be thankful all of my limbs work. In the case of one of my coworkers who lost an eye to Ewing's Sarcoma, I'm sure he'd say, "be glad for my remaining eye." I'll ask tomorrow to be sure.

More on the article:

Only 13 percent of cancer survivors described their health as "excellent," compared to 21.9 percent of non-patients, although a similar percentage described their health as "good" -- 33 percent of cancer survivors and 29 percent of non-patients.

"Survivors were more likely to have spent 10 or more days in bed in the past 12 months than control subjects (14 percent versus 7.7 percent)," the researchers wrote.

"Cancer survivors were also more likely than control subjects to report limitations with arthritis or rheumatism, back or neck problems, fractures or bone or joint injuries, hypertension, or lung or breath problems than control subjects," they added.

My health rocks - probably the top of the top if I were included in this study. I wonder if some of this is attributable to the age of cancer survivors in general being higher than that of the general population and if that's taken into account - doesn't state.

hln

Instalanche!

For Brian, not me.

Though, if this were four years ago, I would've done Elizabeth Dole face for the camera and blog posting - hearkening back to when she had the Holy Man Morgan Fairchild renditioned face, if you know what I'm talking about. As it stands, Mrs. Dole looks a bit more her age these days and, well, not quite as parodyable. That would've been worth a pretty peck o' hits, though, and I stood ready.

hln

Conventional Wisdom?

That stinker husband of mine asked for it.

He's been this blogging fool, using his main computer to type, and streaming the convention in on the eMac that's hooked to the T1. Yeah, we Noggles have it rough here.

So, yes, George P. Bush does have a beautiful smile. The word "yum" does come to mind. The twins didn't impress me much - tried to be too cute, and it didn't fly, but I loved Schwarzenneger's speech. Loved it. Must get transcript of the "know you're a Republican if" section. Often, I feel like I'm the last Republican on earth (save the spouse). The convention's helping to rid me of that.

hln

Republican Convention

Can someone explain to me the protesters of the convention? I just really don't get it. The Convention's part of politics and part of democracy as we know it, no? Are these people protesting democracy? I scratch my head at them. Can't they save their hard-or-not-so-hard-earned dollars to protest more worthy event if those protest needs are unfulfilled?

hln

Wild Animals

On Sunday morning, I arose at the lovely hour of 6:00 a.m. to prepare for the Annie's Frozen Custard Ride. It was a day that started as any other, but when I turned on the light upstairs in the kitchen and looked outside the back glass door, I had a visitor.

Said visitor stood very close to the glass on its hind legs, and it was quite tall. It also appeared upset but stood its ground. On first notice, I thought it was an evilly mutated version of my tabby cat Galt, but, no, alas, it was merely a free-standing raccoon.

After more thinking, I believe what I saw was the offspring of a dog. (Found on the Drudge Report)

hln

Volatility

I'm not the most stable human right now. It's 7:28 on a Friday evening, and I'm WORKING. Why am I working? Well, at 3 p.m., I declared myself too frustrated to work and left for home. After a calming weightlifting session and a good dinner, I rededicated myself to the task at hand. Which is trying a somewhat difficult query in MySQL - difficult because I can't get the damned thing to work. I found the nice documentation on MySQL's site, and huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed (and threw stuffed animals...because that's my temperament) but just couldn't blow this house down.

And I'm madder now that I know why.

You see, the current production-level release of MySQL doesn't support subqueries - only the 4.1 beta release. Sorry, not taking beta into a client's production environment. See, this nice person told me so in very succinct words.

Unfortunately and obnoxiously, MySQL's online documentation is seemingly for the 4.1 product, even though it's still beta. Nowhere in red will you, the skimming reader who normally finds this part of the job a breeze, see the "you can't do this here text" or that the version documented is not the production version. It's. simply. not. there.

Pardon me while I deadrenalize over my wasted time I don't have. Even the cats are running away.

hln

Pets and Property

I've long argued that pets are more than mere property and are closer to family members. I think this man would agree with me.

GAINESVILLE, Florida (AP) -- A man jumped in a pond and stabbed a 6-foot alligator with a pocketknife to force the reptile to release his dog from its jaws.

Matthew Goff, 29, said he was walking Sugar, a tan-colored bloodhound/Shar-Pei mix, in a park when the attack occurred Wednesday evening. The unleashed dog wandered to the edge of the pond, and the gator grabbed its head.

The gator released Sugar when Goff stabbed the reptile in the eye. The dog then ran home, escaping with three teeth marks on and about her head. Goff had a few scratches.

I'm glad Mr. Goff is okay. I am sure I would've done the same, although it's OBVIOUSLY not the common sense choice. 'Course my dog would've been on a leash...

hln