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To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

Wed September 01, 2004:

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# of Comments

Dog bites off Albuquerque man's genitals. Your dog wants deez nuts

(39)

Republican delegate begins handing out little purple bandaids to mock Kerry's purple hearts. Kerry responds by filling insurance claim on paper cut.

(215)

(A Frightened Fisherman)

Photoshop this horror from the deep

(91)

To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

Tue August 31, 2004:

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# of Comments

Doctors baffled by man who speaks fluent French from his ass

(321)

(Some Guy)

Heather Hanson peels off her bikini (not safe for work)

(204)

(webindia123.com)

Man claims his dog gave birth to kitten

(84)

(Some Chick)

TotalFarker LasVegasJerk is moving out of Las Vegas to be a jerk somewhere else. Come to his Las Vegas farewell party Friday night at 7 p.m. Win fabulous door prizes. Details in thread

(71)

Feds shut down the "First National Bank of Bedrock"; became suspicious when bank offered free checking, low interest rates and a "yabba dabba doo time, a dabba doo time, a gay old time"

(45)

(Lincs Echo)

God fails to warn worshipers at Christian festival of the dangers of jumping on temporary seating. Hilarity does not ensue

(136)

Booty call kills Komodo dragon

(30)

(Leicester Mercury)

Yet another reason why the technically inept should not be allowed online: Man blames ISP for sudden appearance of pr0n on his computer

(187)

(Farker Brother)

Photoshop my sister and the huge spider that lives outside her bedroom

(163)

Thousands of women as young as five bared their breasts and danced in Swaziland, hoping to become the 20th wife of one of the world's 10 worst dictators

(130)

(link goes nowhere)

Combine the songs of a single artist or musical group to reveal the hidden message

(12)

(Some Findlaw)

Yale student Thomas Frampton arrested after bumrushing Cheney's box at RNC convention. Witnesses say Frampton was shouting, "Don't....hesitay-yate, oooh, Cheney, I love your way"

(174)

Atlanta needs a new slogan. "Owned by Sherman" already suggested

(196)

Sitcom to be made about Bobby Knight. Sorta like Archie Bunker, but a little more hands on

(31)

Aussie Green Party wants to legalize drugs, pay for sex change operations and limit meat intake

(104)

(TheNationalDebate.com)

Playboy.com publishes nude photos of DC sex blogger. (This link has SFW versions only)

(271)

(Financial Times)

ABC accuses Fox of stealing wife-swapping reality show. No comment from Dave Chappelle

(92)

Muhammad Ali upset he didn't get more money for selling winning $26-million lottery ticket at a convenience store

(123)

(NewsChannel4)

Apparently unaware of what a hotel is, woman and her three children live in ankle-deep sewage because landlord won't pay to fix the pipes

(293)

U.S. soldier attempts to contact al Qaeda through extremist websites. Guess who responded instead

(191)

Woman locked in glass box with scorpions determined to obtain world record; already bitten twice. David Blaine faints

(68)

(Manyoo dot com)

Square-headed wunderkind Wayne Rooney signs for Manchester United

(180)

(The Omaha Channel)

Bouncing on the neighbor's trampoline when you're a kid is fun. Bouncing off trampoline onto five-foot-long metal stake is not so fun

(131)

(Nevada Appeal)

Ralph Nader attempts to sway Las Vegas voters by condemning gambling

(170)

(NY Daily News)

GOP delegate couple from Kentucky get flashed, hustled in subway and lost in Harlem. And it's only Tuesday

(309)

(BlackBoxVoting)

Diebold electronic voting machines are designed to steal the election. Voting not enabled

(∞)

The Smoking Gun makes a postage stamp with Unabomber's picture on it. Post office delivers it

(180)

Atlanta Braves player Chipper Jones names his new son after the Met's Shea Stadium. Thousands of New Yorkers are expected to gather outside the hospital and boo

(76)

Police spot wanted man on TV after he catches a homerun ball at a Cincinnati Reds game

(57)

Debbie Gibson turns 34 today, plans to celebrate birthday by going to the mall and kicking Tiffany's ass (safe for work gallery)

(164)

Chick-Fil-A cows' new slogan: Eat more airplane

(75)

(Some TPIR Guy)

Photoshop a t-shirt that's a sure-fire way to get onto "The Price Is Right"

(91)

(Press and Journal)

You can now buy a friend on eBay. Instructions on how to turn off computer, get a life not included

(51)

(Access Hollywood)

Janet Jackson claims Bush tried to use her boob to distract the public from the war in Iraq

(lots)

Whacky cheerleaders start brawl after winning pizza-eating contest

(71)

Take the post-mortem plunge and become an attractive lucite paperweight

(75)

(Gamespot)

Head of Valve Software uses password consisting of his first name and last initial. Someone else guesses this, makes a post that Half-Life 2 goes gold on Monday. Hilarity ensues

(150)

(Miami Herald)

Montana Fish and Game conducts panty raid on man's "bra fence." No one injured in bust

(63)

Buy a Nissan, get one free

(102)

Photoshop these Irish Guardsmen

(105)

Bank robber tries to rob copy shop thinking it was bank. Gets directions to real bank, experiences some dye-pack fun. Jailarity ensues

(25)

(Boulder Daily Camera)

Colorado man knows all 48,000 U.S. area codes and that Qantas never crashes

(115)

Moose befriends horse in Vermont, won't leave horse's side. The fact it's moose-hunting season has absolutely nothing to do with it

(106)

Bear at Berlin zoo crosses moat on log, scales wall, commandeers bike before being tranquilised. Says it was his duty to try and escape

(64)

Disgruntled nine-year-old Bible school student gets kicked out of church, comes back to spread some fire and brimstone

(∞)

(ArmyTimes)

Thieves steal magnets. Police not sure what is attracting them

(51)

"Most of the patrons had their shoes on, so I would imagine the drugs were found in their socks"

(47)

Wanted: Family for lonely grandfather. Must be willing to hear about how he once wore an onion on his belt... which was the style at the time

(50)

(NBC17)

Spikelee.com now the place to go for heavy-handed social commentary. No longer the place to go for hot, hot lesbian action

(79)

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