August 29, 2004
Here Comes The Corpse
Yahoo! News - Dead Couple to Be Married
A South African man who shot his pregnant fiance dead before killing himself will be posthumously married to her at the weekend.
Police Captain Mohale Ramatseba said David Masenta shot 25-year-old Mgwanini Molomo after a quarrel before turning the gun on himself. But Johannesburg's Sowetan newspaper said family and friends wanted to remember them as a happy couple destined for a happy life together.
The groom's corpse would be dressed in a cream suit and his bride's in a gown for the ceremony, at which a priest in the rural village of Ceres in Limpopo will bless the union before the two are buried, the Sowetan said.
"In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul," said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga. "It is also important because the families are married together."
"This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."
Yeah... It's not like he shot her or anything.
Posted by jimrob at 06:43 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
I Thought Assault Weapons Were Illegal?
Police Say Dead Snake Used As Assault Weapon
Posted by jimrob at 05:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Dude, Get A Grip (and a Brain)
Charlotte Observer | 08/29/2004 | Wal-Mart? No. Upscale retail? Yes!
Dear Tega Cay Council,I am a resident of Tara Plantation, which is across the street from the proposed Wal-Mart site. I have served as the Tara Plantation Home Owners Association President for the last three years from 2001-03. I am asking you NOT to approve the Wal-Mart plan and consider other options. I suggest an upscale retail area like Phillip's Place with professional offices. A discount Wal-Mart warehouse will just attract more low-scale, discount shops. Why not encourage local small businesses and professional services?
It's not called a 'discount warehouse', it's called a SuperCenter.
During the council meeting a few weeks ago, it was stated that Wal-Mart will produce some tax revenue for Tega Cay. However, any commercial business center will produce tax revenue, so why settle for Wal-Mart?
Wal-Mart will decrease our property values. I don't know of anyone who wants to live beside a Wal-Mart. Tega Cay has a golf course, a beautiful lake and wooded surroundings. Why add a Wal-Mart to the area known as the "beautiful peninsula"? Tega Cay is a nice residential area; why change that design with a Wal-Mart?
I would love to live next door to Wal-Mart. Not just because my commute would be shorter, either.
Wal-Mart means more traffic problems. We don't need more traffic problems near our children's Gold Hill schools. If you aren't out on S.C. 160 during school time, then please come see the morning traffic jam. Wal-Mart, which is open 24 hours, will compound the traffic problem in the morning. Most other businesses usually don't open until 9 a.m. and would mean less traffic during school time. This is another reason to encourage small local business instead of a big 24-hour discount warehouse.
Again, it's not a discount warehouse. It's a SuperCenter.
Wal-Mart already has two area stores, which are 15 minutes away on S.C. 49 and 15 minutes south in Rock Hill. A new Tega Cay Wal-Mart will only pull customers away from those stores. Which Wal-Mart store will they close in the future? We don't need three Wal-Marts, and neither does the Wal-Mart corporation. What happens when Wal-Mart leaves an area and there is a large vacant warehouse?
Niether one would be closed. If the revenue source didn't exist, they wouldn't be building another store there, now would they?
As for "we don't need three Wal-Marts and neither do they," I would ask where you gained the authority to dictate how a business conducts itself? Who are you to say how many stores they need? It's obviously more than three, because there's close to five thousand already.
A few senior citizens in Tega Cay liked the idea of a Wal-Mart Pharmacy nearby, but soon they will have a Target Pharmacy within five minutes on S.C. 160 and 49. Do they really need Wal-Mart, too?
When you consider it's a Wal-Mart pharmacy they want and not a Target pharmacy...
If you have any doubts that a majority of the residents do NOT want Wal-Mart, then I recommend you put it on the ballot. I also hope that you will consider not only Tega Cay but your neighbors in Fort Mill as well. Your decision on this matter will shape the future of this community and our children's lives.
Given the langauge used, such as 'discount warehouse' and 'low-scale retail shops', I can only assume you've never been to a Wal-Mart, or have yet to spend time shopping there. I invite you to shop at Wal-Mart and see how much more money you have left at the end of the month.
As for putting it up to a vote, go right ahead! Sam Walton said people vote with their feet. If people don't want Wal-Mart, they won't shop at it, and it will go away.
However, that ISN'T happening, and Wal-Mart continues to grow by leaps and bounds. This isn't through stiff-armed marketing practices bordering on illegality, it's because Wal-Mart offers quality goods at a great low price that others just can't beat (or even match).
Posted by jimrob at 03:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
August 28, 2004
Dammit, My Bubble's Burst...
I was about to proclaim this the official toilet paper of my website. However, upon further inspection, I discovered that the product, while real, is an 'artistic statment' by a rabid Howard Dean supporter who is apparently extremely pro-Union and anti-Republican.
In fact, if you check out his blog you'll see that he uses his toilet paper as an environmentalistic (issat a word?) statement.
However, given the name he has put on his product and how great the name is, I will still gladly buy a case of it just so I can hand it out.
Posted by jimrob at 07:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
What's The Deal With Toilet Paper Logos?
Why must toilet paper have annoyingly cute images of babies and bears on it? Seriously - I don't get it. What do infants and grizzlies have to do with wiping your ass?
Take the following examples:
Do bears shit in the woods? You bet they do! What the heck does a smiling bear have to do with taking a dump?
Peek-A-Boo! I see you! This is EXACTLY what I want. Some little perverted toddler peeking at me while I'm polishing my poop chute.
Tee-hee, we just shit in your bath towels!
Another annoying thing about toilet paper - what's the freakin' deal with scented toilet paper? I kid you not, we have wildflower scented toilet paper. We have potpourri scented toilet paper. If I had to list parts of my body that I didn't want to smell like wildflowers and potpourri, I think my butt would likely be near the top.
Why would you even think about wanting your butt to have a spring-time fresh scent? Have you ever had an occasion where you wished your ass smelled like daisies? I didn't think so!
All this crap (sorry, bad pun) is ridiculous! You know what real toilet paper is? THIS is real toilet paper! Straight and to the point! No babies, bears, or B.S. here buddy! YEAH! HOTWINGS! BARBECUES! BEER! BOOBS!!! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Sorry, I got carried away for a moment.
Posted by jimrob at 06:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
August 25, 2004
A Man Can't Even Crap In Peace
N.O. Man Says He Was Shot At In Wal-Mart Bathroom
A New Orleans man was wounded by gunfire in a botched holdup in a Natchitoches Wal-Mart restroom Sunday, police said.
Viator Tyndale, 48, told police that someone reached over the side of a stall and fired one shot into the floor, then demanded money. The gunman then moved to the front of the stall and fired two more rounds. Tyndale said he shoved the swinging stall door at the robber, who then fled the restroom.
Tyndale suffered a small cut on his hand from shoving the door.
A shopper in the store said he received a minor arm wound from what he believes is a round that exited the bathroom.
Lonnie Davis, of Natchitoches, was treated at the scene and declined further medical treatment.
The investigation is continuing.
Police are reviewing store surveillance video.
Posted by jimrob at 07:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
August 24, 2004
Save a Kid, Ban Butcher Knives
It's high time America banned deadly butcher knives
Assault weapons, you might think, are automatic, blam-blam-blam, machine-gun equivalents. Hold the trigger down and you can spray the room with lead, missing nothing. Nope. Assault weapons are semiautomatic. To fire the first shot, you have to pull the trigger. To fire the second shot, you have to pull the trigger. And the same with the third, fourth and on and on. In that respect, assault weapons are no different from many other kinds of guns — semiautomatic pistols, many hunting rifles, many shotguns — anymore than butcher knives are much different in their killing potential from many other kinds of knives.
What differentiates assault weapons from these other firearms is not what they do, as a number of commentators have now pointed out. It is how they look — namely, very mean, just as a butcher knife may look more frightening than the average steak knife. Even if extending the ban would somehow totally eliminate all those already in existence — it wouldn’t do any such thing — not much imagination would be required for the criminals who use them to switch to something else that works as well or better, as the vast majority of criminals already do.
Posted by jimrob at 07:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
August 23, 2004
Lady, Use Your Damn Brain
Mothers want tougher knife laws
Mrs Walmsley told the Lincolnshire Echo: "Knives can kill - they should be treated the same as guns."
The mothers' campaign is being backed by a national organisation - the Victims of Crime Trust.
Trust director Norman Brennan said: "Each year more people are murdered by knives than guns."
He said tougher sentencing for knife offenders should be a priority for the government when it returns after parliament's summer break.
Mrs Hadfield said: "Knives are instruments that can kill with a single stab, the same as a gun can with a bullet."
Baseball bats can kill with one swing. Hammers can kill with one blow. Cars can kill with one press of the gas pedal.
Let's take this further! Buildings can kill with one jump off the roof, as can bridges, cliffs, and trees!
It is clear what we must do - pave the Earth, and ban anything sharp, blunt, or scary-looking. We must also ban hands as they can choke. Further, we must blindfold everyone so they cannot see to plot crime. We must tie hands so they cannot be used to commit crime. We must ban ears so people cannot overhear that which they shouldn't hear. People should be forbidden to talk, as they may offened.
Only when we're blindfolded, gagged, hogtied, and laying in the middle of a parking lot an we be guaranteed saftey.
At least until someone figures out how to untie their hands.
Posted by jimrob at 10:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
