About. To. Keel. Over. Because. I. Am. So. Tired. Will. Return. From. Vacation. Wed. BIG. INTERVIEW. I. Repeat. BIG. INTERVIEW. Coming. Wednesday.

Have a nice Labor Day week-end folks!

My favorite speech excerpts from the Republican National Convention, in order....

Honorable Mentions

"And I have met with parents and wives and husbands who have received a folded flag, and said a final goodbye to a soldier they loved. I am awed that so many have used those meetings to say that I am in their prayers to offer encouragement to me. Where does strength like that come from? How can people so burdened with sorrow also feel such pride? It is because they know their loved one was last seen doing good. Because they know that liberty was precious to the one they lost. And in those military families, I have seen the character of a great nation: decent, and idealistic, and strong." -- George Bush

"For it has been said so truthfully that it is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to protest. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag, who gives that protester the freedom to abuse and burn that flag." -- Zell Miller

"Senator Kerry says -- Senator Kerry says, "America should go to war not when it wants to go to war but when it has to go to war." Well, Senator, the firefighters and cops who ran into those burning towers and died on September 11th didn't want to go to war. They were heroes in a war they didn't even know existed. America did not choose this war. But we have a president who chooses to win it." -- George Pataki

"Even in this post-9/11 period, Senator Kerry doesn’t appear to understand how the world has changed. He talks about leading a “more sensitive war on terror,” as though al-Qaida will be impressed with our softer side. He declared at the Democratic Convention that he will forcefully defend America after we have been attacked. My fellow Americans, we have already been attacked, and faced with an enemy who seeks the deadliest of weapons to use against us, we cannot wait for the next attack. We must do everything we can to prevent it and that includes the use of military force." -- Dick Cheney

"As long as I live, I will never forget that day 21 years ago when I raised my hand and took the oath of citizenship. Do you know how proud I was? I was so proud that I walked around with an American flag around my shoulders all day long." -- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called "walking". -- George Bush

"I wasn't born when my father went to World War II. Like so many of our greatest generation he is gone now, lost to Alzheimer's nine years ago. He served in the US Army in Europe for almost three years, and helped liberate Nordhausen, one of the concentration camps. You can imagine his horror at what he found there. The methods of the terrorists we face today are different - but my father would know this struggle. Our parents' generation confronted tyranny and liberated millions. As we do the hard work of confronting today's threat - we can also be proud that 50 million more men, women and children live in freedom thanks to the United States of America and our allies." -- Laura Bush

10) "The years of keeping Saddam in a box were coming to a close. The international consensus that he be kept isolated and unarmed had eroded to the point that many critics of military action had decided the time had come again to do business with Saddam, despite his near daily attacks on our pilots, and his refusal, until his last day in power, to allow the unrestricted inspection of his arsenal. Our choice wasn't between a benign status quo and the bloodshed of war. It was between war and a graver threat. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not our critics abroad. Not our political opponents. And certainly not a disingenuous film maker who would have us believe that Saddam's Iraq was an oasis of peace when in fact it was a place of indescribable cruelty, torture chambers, mass graves and prisons that destroyed the lives of the small children held inside their walls." -- John McCain

9) "There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people, and faith in the U.S. economy. To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: "Don't be economic girlie men!" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger

8) "America has done this kind of work before and there have always been doubters. In 1946, 18 months after the fall of Berlin to allied forces, a journalist wrote in the New York Times, "Germany is a land in an acute stage of economic, political and moral crisis. (European) capitals are frightened. In every (military) headquarters, one meets alarmed officials doing their utmost to deal with the consequences of the occupation policy that they admit has failed." End quote. Maybe that same person's still around, writing editorials." -- George Bush

7) "On September 11, this city and our nation faced the worst attack in our history. On that day, we had to confront reality. For me, when I arrived there and I stood below the north tower and I looked up, and seeing the flames of hell emanating from those buildings, and realizing that what I was actually seeing was a human being on the 101st, 102nd floor that was jumping out of the building, I stood there, it probably took five or six seconds, it seemed to me that it took 20 or 30 minutes, and I was stunned....At the time, we believed that we would be attacked many more times that day and in the days that followed. Without really thinking, based on just emotion, spontaneous, I grabbed the arm of then Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik, and I said to him, "Bernie, thank God George Bush is our president." I say it again tonight. I say it again tonight: Thank God that George Bush is our president, and thank God..." -- Rudy Giuliani

6) "Well, what can we say of Senator Kerry? He was for the war and then he was against the war. He was for it, but he wouldn't fund it. Then he'd fund it, but he wasn't for it. He was for the Patriot Act until he was against the Patriot Act. Or was he against it until he was for it? I forget. He probably does, too. This is a candidate who has to Google his own name to find out where he stands." -- George Pataki

5) "No one should dare to even think about being the Commander in Chief of this country if he doesn’t believe with all his heart that our soldiers are liberators abroad and defenders of freedom at home. But don’t waste your breath telling that to the leaders of my party today. In their warped way of thinking America is the problem, not the solution. They don’t believe there is any real danger in the world except that which America brings upon itself through our clumsy and misguided foreign policy." -- Zell Miller

4) "I can't repeat what (the construction workers at Grounf Zero) said, but one of them really got the president's attention. The president really bonded with him. They sort of hit it off. And the guy's giving him this long explanation of exactly what he should do. And when the man finished, President Bush said in a rather loud voice, "I agree." At this point, all of the people kind of looked at this guy, all of his buddies. And can you imagine -- I mean, you're a construction worker, and all your buddies say -- and the president says, "I agree." The guy went up in his own estimation from his 6 feet to about 6'10. He lost total control of himself. Forgot who he was dealing with. He leaned over. He grabbed the president of the United States in this massive bear hug, and he started squeezing him. And the Secret Service agent standing next to me, who wasn't happy about any of this, instead of running over and getting the president out of this grip, puts his finger in my face and he says to me, "If this guy hurts the president, Giuliani, you're finished." I didn't know what to say. I was kind of shook when the -- and I said -- the only thing I could think of, and it's the moral of the story, I said, "But it would be out of love." -- Rudy Giuliani

3) "I first got to know George Bush when we served as governors together. I admire this man. I am moved by the respect he shows the first lady, his unabashed love for his parents and his daughters, and the fact that he is unashamed of his belief that God is not indifferent to America. I can identify with someone who has lived that line in “Amazing Grace,” “Was blind, but now I see,” and I like the fact that he’s the same man on Saturday night that he is on Sunday morning. He is not a slick talker but he is a straight shooter and, where I come from, deeds mean a lot more than words. I have knocked on the door of this man’s soul and found someone home, a God-fearing man with a good heart and a spine of tempered steel. The man I trust to protect my most precious possession: my family." -- Zell Miller

2) "My point about John Kerry being inconsistent is best described in his own words, not mine. I quote John Kerry, "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it." Maybe this explains John Edwards' need for two Americas. One is where John Kerry can vote for something and another where he can vote against exactly the same thing." -- Rudy Giuliani

1) "Listing all the weapon systems that Senator Kerry tried his best to shut down sounds like an auctioneer selling off our national security but Americans need to know the facts. The B-1 bomber, that Senator Kerry opposed, dropped 40 percent of the bombs in the first six months of Operation Enduring Freedom. The B-2 bomber, that Senator Kerry opposed, delivered air strikes against the Taliban in Afghanistan and Hussein’s command post in Iraq. The F-14A Tomcats, that Senator Kerry opposed, shot down Khadifi’s Libyan MIGs over the Gulf of Sidra. The modernized F-14D, that Senator Kerry opposed, delivered missile strikes against Tora Bora. The Apache helicopter, that Senator Kerry opposed, took out those Republican Guard tanks in Kuwait in the Gulf War. The F-15 Eagles, that Senator Kerry opposed, flew cover over our Nation’s Capital and this very city after 9/11. I could go on and on and on: against the Patriot Missile that shot down Saddam Hussein’s scud missiles over Israel; against the Aegis air-defense cruiser; against the Strategic Defense Initiative; against the Trident missile; against, against, against. This is the man who wants to be the Commander in Chief of our U.S. Armed Forces? U.S. forces armed with what? Spitballs?" -- Zell Miller

Everyone who participated in this, who helped make it happen, who cheers it on as some sort of noble act, deserves to die...

"The three-day hostage siege at a school in southern Russia ended in chaos and bloodshed Friday, after witnesses said Chechen militants set off bombs and Russian commandos stormed the building. Hostages fled in terror, many of them children who were half-naked and covered in blood. Officials estimated the death toll at more than 200.

Gadieyeva told of three days of unspeakable horror - of children so frightened they couldn't sleep, of captors coolly threatening to kill off hostages one by one. The gym where they were held was so cramped there was hardly room to move."

The civilized world has endured enough from these radical Islamist terrorists.

9/11, Bali, the Moscow Theater massacre, countless attacks on India, on Israel, on the people of Iraq, and now these poor kids in a school.

I don't care why the terrorists hate us, I don't care about their grievances, I don't want to be sensitive to their needs, I don't want to negotiate with them, I just want our people to show up where THEY LIVE and infiltrate them, hunt them, & KILL THEM before they kill us.

"Bill Clinton was hospitalized with chest pains and shortness of breath Friday and will undergo heart bypass surgery in an operation that could sideline the former president at the height of the campaign for the White House.

...It was not clear when the surgery would be performed, but Clinton's wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, said: "They did advise him to have bypass surgery, and to do it as soon as he could."

I may not agree with Bill Clinton on much politically, but when someone becomes ill, I think partisanship needs to be temporarily set aside until they've recovered. Politics is an important thing, but it's not the most important thing. So with that in my mind, my best wishes go out to Bill Clinton's family and friends and I wish the man himself a speedy recovery.

Get well soon Bill!

There was less coverage of the liberal wackos protesting the convention than I had expected this week, in part because the NYC police did a fantastic job of keeping them under control, but also because the mainstream media has undoubtedly figured out by now that putting these nutjob lefties on TV only helps the GOP.

But here at RWN, we love the crazies, the commies, & the anarchists who come out to rant against Bush and talk up their beloved Democratic party! That's why I wanted to put together just a few of the protester lowlights for the week for your enjoyment...

"Police said more than 1,760 people have been arrested in a week of convention-related protests, a record for a U.S. political convention."

"Suddenly a group of perhaps a dozen materialized, chanting and carrying a banner that read "Free John Hinckley" Their slogan: "F--- Reagan! Go home!" They moved down the avenue at a very fast pace and were gone as quickly as they arrived. Between their chant and the bicyclist's shirt, we really started to wonder how anyone can call President Bush inarticulate."

"But individual protesters kept tensions high, some of them hissing or cursing at well-heeled couples heading to popular Broadway musicals like "Thoroughly Modern Millie" and "Fiddler on the Roof."

"B*tch, go home! We don't want you here!" At one point, police cordoned off a city block after several dozen demonstrators jeered and razzed the incoming audience."

"A featured performer at a National Organization for Women rally accused President Bush of having "savagely raped " women "over and over" by allegedly stealing the 2000 presidential election.

"Imagine a way to erase that night four years ago when you (President Bush) savagely raped every pandemic woman over and over with each vote you got, a thrust with each state you stole," Birnbaum said from the podium. (If something is pandemic, it affects many people or a number of countries."

"U.S. Rep. Major Owens, a New York Democrat, warned a crowd of feminist protesters that the Bush administration is taking America "into a snake pit of fascism."

Owens made his remarks in New York City's Central Park at a National Organization for Women rally on Wednesday night."

Nice group of people, huh?

The entire primetime hour tonight was taken up with George W. Bush's speech and it was not wasted time.

While W. isn't a master orator like Reagan, or Clinton who can deliver a superb speech even though he's reeling off a laundry list of programs, he helped himself tonight.

Bush's speech was issue laden, he scored some points on John Kerry without coming across as mean-spirited, he ably defended his role as commander-and-chief, & he just oozed likability.

Overall, this was a much stronger convention than the one the Dems put on and I'm confident that Kerry was damaged, Bush was boosted, and the race has further tilted in W's favor.

The poll numbers early next week? They should be sweet and I'm particularly looking forward to seeing what the numbers look like in the big 4 states, Florida, Ohio, Michigan, and Illinois. But, we'll have to wait until the 15th or so to tell how much momentum W will be able to retain.

Now, here's W's speech from last night...

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Either someone is doing a very bad job of advising John Kerry or he's buying into that old saw that both parties' faithful always repeat "We're just lying there and taking it! We're not fighting back" and he's insisting on saying this in his speech tonight...

"We all saw the anger and distortion of the Republican Convention. For the past week, they attacked my patriotism and my fitness to serve as Commander-in-chief. We'll, here's my answer. I'm not going to have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and by those who have misled the nation into Iraq.

Let me tell you what I think makes someone unfit for duty. Misleading our nation into war in Iraq makes you unfit to lead this nation. Doing nothing while this nation loses millions of jobs makes you unfit to lead this nation. Letting 45 million Americans go without healthcare makes you unfit to lead this nation. Letting the Saudi Royal Family control our energy costs makes you unfit to lead this nation. Handing out billions of government contracts to Halliburton while you're still on their payroll makes you unfit. That's the record of George Bush and Dick Cheney. And it's not going to change. I believe it's time to move America in a new direction; I believe it's time to set a new course for America."

Of course, nobody challenged John Kerry's patriotism at the Republican convention, that's just a dodge that Democrats use when Republicans start pointing out how bad their voting records are on security related issues (See Max Cleland for a perfect example of what I'm talking about). Furthermore, if you check Dick Cheney's speech last night, you won't find the words "unfit" or "office" in the speech. All you'll see is a very pointed, illuminating attack on John Kerry's poor record on security issues.

Moreover, strategically, this is a dumb thing for Kerry to say on so many levels...

"The Vice President even called me unfit for office last night. I guess I'll leave it up to the voters whether five deferments makes someone more qualified to defend this nation than two tours of duty."

First of all, that's the sort of charge you send surrogates out to make because it sounds nasty, partisan, and unpresidential, especially when compared to the very gracious & respectful way that the Bush campaign has treated Kerry's military service. Furthermore, it's not going to hurt Dick Cheney or help John Kerry. People already know Cheney got deferments during the war and that John Kerry served.

Furthermore, by continuing to put his Vietnam record front and center in the campaign, Kerry helps keep the charges by the Swift Boat Vets for Truth front and center in the campaign.

On top of all of that, we've got Kerry complaining about a war he voted for and talking about the Saudis and Haliburton? What, is Michael Moore writing his campaign speeches for him now?

Maybe Kerry feels like he needs to ramp it up a notch since the momentum is swinging dramatically in Bush's direction because of Swift Boat Vets for Truth & the convention, but John Kerry is going to hurt himself more than he hurts Bush by personally launching these sort of shrill attacks...which actually suits me just fine =D

*** Update #1***: From a post I wrote back on Feb 11, 2004...

"Most importantly, you have to remember that the last thing a Massachusetts liberal with a terrible voting record on security issues wants to do is go toe to toe on defense issues with George Bush in a time of war. So expect him to try to use the old Max Cleland dodge to get out of it. Kerry will claim that simply being a decorated Vietnam vet makes him credible on national defense and if anyone questions his judgement, they're attacking his patriotism. Then the issue becomes the attacks on his patriotism, not his sure to be mousey foreign policy."

Hat tip to Country Store for creating this one.

The Kerry-Edwards presidential campaign today announced it will spend $50 million in the next few days on advertising to prove John Forbes Kerry and John Edwards understand the concerns of middle Americans.

"We're regular folks, just like all you ordinary people, and we're going to burn through $50 million in about week just to prove it," said Mr. Kerry, a Vietnam veteran and distinguished anti-war protestor who is also a U.S. Senator. "Sen. Edwards and I got this $50 million the old fashioned way--by asking generous friends in Hollywood, at union headquarters and at the trial lawyers association to give it to us. You should see our callouses."

Before a crowd of cheering supporters, Mr. Kerry shouted, "We have been oppressed by those fatcat Republicans for too long."

Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards then led the crowd in chanting: "Down with The Man. Power to the people."

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.