LiveJournal for brooke who lives in the cupboard under the stairs. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.

Wednesday, November 6th, 2002

Time: 4:03 pm. Mood: crazy. Music: "the past that suits you best" by the delgados.

What 'GIlmore Girl' Are You? brought to you by Quizilla yeah. that's me. i haven't seen the gilmore girls in weeks. too much work, and i can't remember to watch. maybe i'll start writing it in my agenda...that's a little desperate though. i think i'll start writing it in my agenda. got tickets for the jump show today! wheeee! and a plane ticket home for christmas. i haven't gotten a ticket back yet though. i'm not sure what day i want to come back. i'm thinking i want to come back around the 13th. maybe i'll come back on a saturday or sunday though. i just don't want to stay at home. maybe i miss it more than i realize, and i'll want to stay the whole time, but i doubt it. i think 3 weeks at home is plenty. anymore and i'll try to kill someone. my latin class was cancelled today. this kid who's in my class told me there was a sign on the door that said "today's latin I class at 3:30 is cancelled. go home." to which i said, "thanks, joel, and a merry christmas to you, too." i got a muffin and cup of coffee instead. now i have class from 4:55 to 6:35. it's my math class with the professor who is worried because i'm so tired. news flash: i am permanently tired. i'm not anemic, i get at least 7 hours of sleep most nights, i'm basically in fine health...i just really like sleep. he wants to sit down and talk with me about ways to avoid feeling like this during finals becuase i internalize stress. another news flash: it happens. i am under a lot of stress, and i have no other way of dealing with it. so basically, the only way i will ever not be so tired is if i have monkeys doing my work for me and a pantload of money. until then, i deal. there are so many cds i want. how is that possible? i stopped buying food so i could buy more cds. i've decided i'm only going to teach long enough to pay off loans. once most of them are paid off, and i can get some money saved up, i am opening a record store. i don't care. that is what i want. i want to surround myself with cds and do my own thing, rather than have a boss and a 9 to 5 job because that really does not suit me. i have issues with authority. one thing about teaching does interest me: the prospect of buying "professional clothes" from ann taylor. i walk past there every day practically. i think that if i ever work in a traditional-type school where i have to abide by some dress code, then that is where i shall shop. the clothes are relatively inexpensive and they're so hip and professional. that's me in a nutshell. hip and professional. after i stop teaching, i'm going to back to faded t-shirts and jeans. then my record store days will begin and all will be glorious. the end.

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Subject: i'm not even going to comment on the elections. it makes me too sad. Time: 11:10 am. Mood: crushed. Music: "sympathy" by sleater-kinney.

my mom won't call me back, and i need to book my plane ticket to come home for christmas today. like right now. i can't do that unless she calls me to tell me the credit card number. soooo incredibly sleepy. getting out of bed this morning was torture. we were all warm, and then my fricking alarm clock had to go off. then drew got to stay warm, and i had to subject myself to the elements as i walked the 50 feet from my dorm to the main building. i whine so much. the final draft of my essay on gender and sexuality is due today. i wrote it about the american attitude toward homosexuality and the placement of gender roles into the context of a relationship, platonic or romantic. i didn't think it was all that great, but my teacher said she really liked it when i met with her yesterday. it still needed a title though. i named it, "Hey, Mom. I'm Gay. Just Kidding." the title of that essay was not the most pressing thing on my mind. i was a bit more worried about the fact that i did not read more than 3 pages of the 4 chapters i needed to read for my con west class. and now on top of that, i have to read half of gulliver's travels by monday. arugh. i will be so glad when this semester is over. then that class will be over and i won't ever have to deal with it again. provided i don't fail. light bulb 2000-2002 i would like for us to all take a moment to reflect upon the recent death of the light bulb in my desk lamp. the bulb came with my lamp, which i bought to take to firespark! in june of 2000. last night about 9 p.m, it did that flashy thing that light bulbs do when they've just had enough, and it died. i actually thought that i had overloaded a circuit and had blown some shit up. no, it was the final breath (illumination?) of dear light bulb. so now, light bulb, i will copy the wattage you carried (40 watts) onto a sheet of scrap paper and throw you away-- a proper burial, i say. then i will walk to the hardware store and attempt to replace you. it's 11:27 according to my alarm clock. still no call from mommy. what the fuck, i ask you. what the fuck? i need to figure out my money situation. it's not pretty. i'm done now.

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Time: 11:18 am. Mood: accomplished. Music: "(down at the) terminal annex" by harvey danger.

bad things about today: i got out of bed at 8:40 to go to work. school was cancelled though, so i went for nothing. good things about today: i got back here before 10 and was able to talk to my writing the essay teacher about the final draft of my essay that is due tomorrow, open my bank account, and drop my list of classes for next semester off at my advisor's office, all before 11:30. now i'm going to find drew, and see if he wants to hit up weinstein with me.

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Time: 12:07 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: the doors.

well. i did all of my work yesterday, and i watched the brak show and space ghost coast 2 coast. funniness. it's a gray day. kinda nice. it's cold, but it's the kind of cold you can numb yourself to. i realized why i'm having such a hard time doing my work and focusing and disciplining myself. it's because i don't really feel like i have a clear purpose, other than to graduate. i'm not too terribly gung ho on the idea of being a teacher. truthfully, i still want to be a music journalist, but i wouldn't be able to go here without that little bit of scholarship money i'm getting from the school of ed. if i transferred to journalism, that would put me in the college of arts and sciences, and all scholarship money would go bye bye. if i could be an ra, then that would be a possibility, but right now, i just have to deal with being a history teacher. which is fine. i'm sure i'll be a great teacher, blah, blah, blah, but it's not something i have a great interest in doing for the rest of my life. i feel like my work would be getting done a lot easier if i was doing something that i felt some strong connection to. this is really immature of me-- this is the same attitude i had throughout most of high school, but it wasn't until senior year that i saw the importance of it all. this can't be a repeat of high school. goddammit. i need to go to the politics department to declare my double-major, and i need to get my ap scores and gpc transcripts sent here. who wants to do all my dirty work? ok. i need to go. another class at 12:30. blech.

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Subject: "it wasn't my idea...never was my idea..." Time: 2:37 pm. Mood: contemplative. Music: "fired" by ben folds.

so to sum up the past few days..."it gets me real pissed off, and it makes me wanna say 'fuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk!'" not that bad actually. no update since tuesday....where is my mind? ok. i really did not want to go to my conwest lecture wednesday morning, but i was a good girl. i dragged my lazy ass out of bed a little less than 15 minutes before class was supposed to start, and i was there 2 minutes early. schweeet. i'm glad i did, too because the lecture was the overview for what the rest of semester will be about. plus fleming is hysterically funny. writing the essay was interesting, as per usual. every class provides a little more insight into why the teacher is so incredibly odd. i keep having the urge to say that arjun is gay during class though. i did once, and it was so much fun, i wanna do it again. but not really. my final draft of le essay on gender and sexuality is due next wednesday. i feel like what i'm writing about it so much larger than what i know and what i'm able of comprehending. this isn't good. oh, and i only have 4 pages. i need 2 more at least. everytime i try to work on it, i get all freaked out and sleepy and stupid. latin and math were ehh, whatever. drew and i went to see thursday, boy sets fire, fairweather, vendetta red, and christiansen last night at the world with one of drew's friends. drew is exceptionally funny. jack is pretty funny. put them together and you don't even have to say anything. you just watch them. it's funny. so yeah. had a good time. i was really klutzy, scatterbrained yesterday. moreso than usual. almost ditzy. ok, i was a complete ditz yesterday. *sigh* it happens. maybe that'st just my schtick. i don't know. quiz today in latin. i should probably peruse the notes and so forth to make sure that i know what i'm supposed to. i'm pretty sure i do, but there's nothing wrong with double-checking. i feel like i'm just fucking around and not really getting what i'm supposed to be doing done, if that makes any sense whatsoever. like i'm doing my work, but i'm half-assing it. i'm really feeling fatigued though. i can't figure all of this out. i was working really hard like a month ago. now it's seeming like i'm not doing so well. that whole business with the midterm kinda settled it in my mind, i guess. i could've studied a lot harder. maybe i just am not that concerned with that class. i'm going to stop. breathe. wait patiently until i get my grade next week. postpone any worrying until then. realize all is not lost. write a kickasstastic paper. redeem myself. realize my TA likes me and thinks i've been working hard. participation is 25%. ok. i need to stop. latin starts in 30 minutes.

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Time: 2:44 pm. Mood: busy. Music: "there is" by boxcar racer...look, chrissie! it's my turn!.

wow. so to catch up... i had my midterm yesterday. it sucked hardcore, and i would rather not talk about it. as i was walking into goddard to take a nap until it would be time to go again, i ran into drew, who was going to mcdonald's to get breakfast for us. we decided to go together since i did want an egg and cheese biscuit, but when we got there we were informed that breakfast is not served after 10:30 and it was near 11. so that sucked. we walked over to weinstein and made breakfast burritos though from the vegetable fajitas they were serving and the eggs they serve as part of breakfast. then we went to blockbuster to get a movie for drew to watch while he worked. my math class is doing a unit on investments and the stock market, so we took a tour of the stock exchange. that's another thing i love about living here. studying the stock market? let's go to the stock exchange! studying art? there's the MoMA, the met, the whitney....all with enormous collections. the tour was really interesting, and it was really neat to be standing above everyone, watching them all scurry back and forth. i still don't really get all of it though, and that's ok. i'm not planning on being a stockbroker anytime soon. i missed my latin class yesterday. by the time i got back here to get my stuff for class, it was 4, so i wouldn't have gotten to class until 4:15, and he lets us out around 4:30...it would've been pretty pointless to go. so, i hung out around here and had a snack. then i went to the computer lab with 2 people from my group to work on our survey project. by the time i got back here, i was beat. i can't remember the last time i was that tired. kristin and i watched "grease," and i made fun of it while she insisted that she likes it. ok. i need to start getting my stuff together for latin. time to play catch-up!

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Time: 12:00 pm. Mood: sleepy. Music: "falling for you" by weezer.

// series one - as usual -- Name: brooke -- Birthdate: 2/6/84 -- Birthplace: atlanta, ga -- Current Location: NYC -- Eye Color: blue -- Righty or Lefty: righty -- Zodiac Sign: aquarius -- Innie or Outtie: innie, but i can make it an outie // series two - describe -- Your heritage: mostly irish -- The shoes you wore today: birkenstock clogs -- Your hair: short boycut. i need to do something with it -- Your eyes: tired -- Your weakness: chocolate, sleep -- Your fears: the grade i'm going to get on my midterm -- Your perfect pizza: the veggie pizzas rachel and i used to get from everybody's...spinach, onions, zucchini, mushrooms, olives, sun-dried tomatoes -- One thing you'd like to achieve: paying off my college loans in a reasonable amount of time // series three - what is -- Your most overused phrase on aol\aim: "lol," "sigh," or "hahahaha" -- Your thoughts first waking up: stupid midterms! -- The first feature you notice in the opposite/same sex: their smile/eyes...then their personality -- The best Name for a Butler: jefferson -- Your best physical features: my eyes or my hands -- Your bedtime: 12-ish. it's usually close to 2 before i fall asleep though -- Your greatest fear: dying before i get everything done. -- Your greatest accomplishment: getting into NYU and actually getting here -- Your most missed memory: spending the week with my grandparents when i was little // series four - you prefer -- Pepsi or coke: coke -- McDonald's or Burger King: burger king actually has better chicken sandwiches than mcdonald's and i can use my meal plan to get burger king -- Single or group dates: single -- Adidas or Nike: i have this one pair of adidas tennis shoes i've been wearing since 9th grade. i left them in atlanta, and i miss them. maybe i should get a new pair. -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton -- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate -- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee -- Boxers or briefs: no preference // series five - do you -- Smoke: not really -- Cuss: yeah -- Sing well: no -- Take a shower everyday: yes -- Do you think you've been in love: yes -- Want to go to college: ummm. not really. i'm here because my mom told me i'd go to jail if i didn't. -- Like high school: high school was sort of like a routine checkup...stupid waste of time since they're not going to tell you anything you don't already know, at an inconvenient time, involves getting naked in front of people/a person....kinda necessary though. -- Want to get married: yeah -- Type with your fingers on the right keys: nope -- Believe in yourself: from time to time -- Get motion sickness: nope -- Think you're attractive: sometimes. -- Think you're a health freak: at times. not so much since i've been here -- Get along with your parents: when we're not together -- Like thunderstorms: yes -- Play an instrument: nope // series six - in the past month, did/have you -- Drank alcohol: yes -- Smoke(d): nope -- Done a drug: yes -- Have Sex: yes -- Made Out: yes -- Go on a date: i suppose...drew and i don't really go on dates anymore though...not that we ever did -- Go to the mall: no -- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no -- Eaten sushi: no -- Been on stage: no -- Been dumped: no -- Gone skating: no -- Made homemade cookies: no -- Been in love: yes -- Gone skinny dipping: no -- Dyed your hair: no -- Stolen anything: nope // series seven - have you ever... -- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: hey, rachel...does that game of 10 fingers we played on the last night of the thespian trip in 11th grade count? -- If so, was it mixed company: if it counts, then yes. -- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes -- Been caught "doing something": yeah -- Been called a tease: don't think so -- Gotten beaten up: no -- Shoplifted: no. -- If so, did you get caught: - -- Changed who you were to fit in: earlier in high school. then i stopped caring // series eight - the future -- Are you hoping to be married: yeah -- Numbers and Names of Children: i don't know...i know i want at least 1 -- Describe your Dream Wedding: not small, not huge. something classy -- How do you want to die: in my sleep -- Where you want to go to college: NYU... -- What do you want to be when you grow up: a teacher i guess. -- What country would you most like to visit: there are so many places i want to go {x} Current Clothes: jeans, blue thermal hoodie with a gray thermal shirt underneath {x} Current Mood: kinda hungry which sucks since i just ate {x} Current Taste: sauteed vegetables from breakfast {x} Current Hair: screwed up {x} Current Annoyance: i have to go to wall street. {x} Current Smell: hand cream {x} Current thing you ought to be doing: getting ready to leave for class {x} Current Desktop Picture: picture of ben folds five {x} Current Favorite Groups: j,lc, weezer, ben folds five, death cab for cutie {x} Current Book: the catcher in the rye {x} Current DVD In Player: none, but we watched van wilder night before last {x} Current Refreshment: none {x} Current Worry: my conwest midterm grade {x} Current Crush: drew. hee hee. {x} Current Favorite Celebrity: hmmm. i don't know.

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Subject: what i'm doing instead of studying/writing my essay. Time: 9:03 pm. Mood: giggly. Music: "the face that launched 1000 shits" by death cab for cutie.

BASICS Name: brooke Sex: f Birthday: 2.6.84 Height: 5'9" Hair Color: brown with a hint of red. Eye Color: blue. Eye Color of Choice: i don't really have one. i tend to prefer lighter colored eyes though. BODY ILLS AND SKILLS Nervous Habits: biting at my cutitcle, popping my knuckles, tearing paper...fidgeting in general Do you bite your nails? i do when a nail is torn or something. Are you double jointed? yes. Can you roll your tongue? no. Can you blow smoke rings? no. Can you blow spit bubbles? yes. that doesn't require a lot of skill though. Can you cross your eyes? yes. CLOTHES On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? hahaha. whatever i'm lucky enough to have left over. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? don't wear jewelry What's the sexiest article of clothing on a guy? low-rise pants, no shirt. For a chick? low-rise pants, a black bra, no shirt. it sounds like i've put so much time into considering that. Favorite Piece of Clothing: these really comfy thermal shirts. Pajamas: flannel pants and a camisole. FOOD Do you wind your spaghetti or cut it? both. Have you ever eaten Spam? eew eew eew. How often do you brush your teeth? at least twice a day. How often do you shower/bathe? every day. How long does your shower last? 15-20 minutes. Hair drying method: a towel and air. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? nope. What colors has your hair been? it started our kinda blonde. If that fountain of youth existed, would you drink from it? yeah. Do you paint your nails? just my toenails, and only my fingernails when i get a manicure. MANNERS Do you swear? like a goddamn sailor. Do you ever spit? no, not really. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE... Actor/Actress: john cusack/kirsten dunst. Food: turkey burgers. Month: february. Day: saturdays. my sundays here are good though Cartoon: the simpsons, the brak show, sponge bob Shoe Brand: converse and birkenstock. Subject in school: history of just about any description Color: blue. Person to talk to online: hmmm. i like talking to all of my friends online. Sport: eep. don't think i have one. Body part on/in you: my hands and my eyes, i suppose. Movie: high fidelity Holiday: christmas? arbor day? Magazine: jane, SPIN, details...no money to buy magazines anymore though Vacationing Spot: hmmm. i don't know because what i would've said 4 months ago is new york, and i kinda live here now... Thing To Do In The Summer: sleep Thing To Do In The Winter: sleep and drink coffee Perfume or Cologne: ckone or mary kay joyful TV Station: comedy central, cartoon network, mtv2, and cnn. IN AND AROUND The CD Player: none actually. i just took vertigo out though. Person you talk most on the phone with: my mom. Ever taken a cab? yes. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? i glance out of habit. What color is your bedroom? room at home is blue. room here is white with lotsa posters. Do you use an alarm clock? yes. Name one thing you are obsessed with: where to begin.... Ever sunbathed nude? no. have i ever sunbathed period? no. Window seat or aisle?: i really don't care. i'm probably just going to sleep anyway. LA LA LAND What's your sleeping position? next to drew. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? yes. Do you snore? not that i know of. Do you sleepwalk? no. Do you talk in your sleep? i make weird clucking noises. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? i did until i started sleeping with drew. now i only sleep with elephant when drew sleeps in his room. How about with the light on? not really. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? radio, yes if it's quiet. tv, no. GIRL QUESTIONS What is the nicest thing a guy could do for you? i like hugs. What is the first thing you notice when you look at a guy? their eyes. What do you think of cheating? just don't do it. Makeup. Should we have to wear it or not? we shouldn't have to wear it, and i can't think of any laws being passed that require the use of makeup by the female citizenry, so i think we're all ok to continue just doing our own thing.

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Time: 2:05 pm. Mood: rushed. Music: "old hat" by harvey danger.

brooke, your best quality shines through in how Easygoing you are! The fact that you're a calm, relaxed person who tends to take life in stride really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're a reliable and dependable person whom others can usually count on. You are a caring and considerate person who is typically very loving, as well, too. In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities. We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare — only 2 in 10,000 people share the same general mix of traits. weird. more later.

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Time: 7:43 pm. Mood: crazy. Music: "turn it up" by sleater-kinney.

ok. i'm going to do this quickly. the past few days haven't been all that bad. today, for instance, i discovered that i have taught one of the kids i'm tutoring something. i was making him rewrite a little assignment for his humanities class because it was awful (so many mechanical errors...i'd rather not talk about it), and he wrote a sentence that had a comma splice in it. he looked at it, then looked at me and said, "that's a comma splice, isn't it?" to which i said, "yes! you're exactly right! it is a comma splice!" i feel so useful. then my latin class. i was wearing my guster shirt, and joel and i had a nice discussion about them. i told the story about the winchendon little league shirt at the atlanta show in april 2001. he found it amusing. yay, i suppose. my TA gave back our responses from last week where we had to rewrite a paragraph from our papers. she warned us that she wrote, "i strongly urge you to go to the writing center," on almost all of the papers, so of course i was expecting mine to say it and a few other unflattering things. it didn't, however. it only had one comment on it. i was thrilled. i don't feel like such an idiot anymore. ok. i need to study/do work/sit on my ass now. yay.

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Time: 11:23 am. Mood: sleepy. Music: "passerby" by dispatch.

What Nine Inch Nails song are you? brought to you by Quizilla hmm. i don't think i agree with that, but it's a good song. i really have to start eating something else at weinstein during breakfast...one cannot live off egg white and cheese omelets and bagel alone. things have been so scattered the past couple of days. i feel like i'm being pulled in 20 different directions. ooohhh. kristin is listening to my current favorite elliott smith song. "angeles"= good song. i need to wash my coffee cup and prepare chrissie's package. nevermind that i have an entire package to fix for rachel and no money to do it. rachel, can i send you chips that i buy with declining dollars? that's the only money i have until my next paycheck. i kinda had to go to the drugstore yesterday and that was 20 of the remaining 30 dollars from my last paycheck. need to buy j,lc ticket too. dammit. i should ask matt to put me on the guest list. hahaha. and then hell could freeze and i could juggle while standing on my head. i wanna put my jammies on, get in bed and curl up with my big body pillow and elephant to watch CNN. i could also go for massive amounts of chocolate. ok. time to go. grrr. stupid classes.

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Time: 9:43 pm.

What Office Space character are you? brought to you by Quizilla i am so busy...not soing my work. this con west midterm is incomprehensible to me. i can't even begin to handle this. i was going to look at the 6 questions and the 6 broad, thematic issues she gave us on the study sheet while reading the texts and finding specific examples, but i can't tie these together. i can't focus. i need ritalin. or valium. or a hot shower and a cup of tea. the worse thing is that i don't think i would be able to focus anywhere. i briefly considered taking my computer to the library and studying there since my roommate is having a study session with someone for a midterm she has tomorrow, but i would just be really restless at the library. *whine* i also feel the need to constantly eat while studying. i am a bottomless pit once i begin my academic pursuits. i wonder why. i think it helps me focus though. i want to go to bed. i am sleepy.

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Time: 3:09 pm.

take the nerd test. and go to mewing.net. a nerd utopia.

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Time: 2:17 pm. Mood: distressed. Music: "step aside" by sleater-kinney.

my to-do list for the next week: 1) study for con west midterm next monday 2) write rough draft of 2nd progression for writing the essay. (due monday) 3) homework for writing the essay (due wednesday) 4) 1st stock portfolio due wednesday 5) final presentation of statistics from other math project (due wednesday) 6) reread plato's republic 7) read books 1, 4, and 6 of the aeneid 8) read luke 9) read romans 10) read thessolonians 11) work tuesday, thursday, and friday i may not be around much. i need to find a good place to work in solitude. i'm wondering what the library is like for stuff like that. maybe i should just go eat since i'm hungry, come back here, and go to latin and math. at least numbers 4 and 5 are easily accomplished. i also think i'm going to start taking my computer to work with me because then i can work during lunch instead of playing six degrees of seperation. but first, food.

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Subject: for rachel~ Time: 11:33 am.

what stringed instrument are you? brought to you by Quizilla

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Subject: parents are gone!!!! Time: 10:15 am. Mood: drained. Music: "a real man" by sleater-kinney.

dear mom and dad, thank you for visiting. the 2 days i spent with you were lovely. in fact, i probably would not have ever gone to rockefeller center if you hadn't visited. you even brought me a coat, albeit extremely ugly and designed with an 80-year-old woman in mind. you've gone home though, and having had approximately 20 minutes to recover since your departure from union square i can only ask that you not visit anymore while my life here is in progress. thank you, your adoring daughter. sorry, gettingeven. i semi-stole your letter writing scheme, but it was necessary. so, yes. my parents are well on their way to laguardia. i had a good time with them and all, but i felt like i needed a good stiff drink every hour or so. they're really lovely people, but i can't be with them in a public setting where i have to stay with them for more than 30 minutes or so. then they start aggravating me to no end. i will spend the rest of today putting the pieces of my shattered life back together. for starters, here are some quiz results: which folkie are you? brought to you by Quizilla which old movie do you belong in? brought to you by Quizilla rachie, it won't let me take the stringed instrument quiz. i think i'm going to make some quizzes of my own today. i'm scared to look at the amount of work i have to do today. in fact, i don't have the little assignment paper from my writing the essay class. i'll need to talk to someone in that class. alright, i'm off to another exciting day. wish me luck.

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LiveJournal for brooke who lives in the cupboard under the stairs. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.