<golfclap>
Beautiful, dear Spoons, simply beautiful.
</golfclap>

c'mon dude give her a break, she's british. any time the colonials get their hands on guns it's never a good day for king and country remember? armed americans can only mean a few things to the brits

1 - we have the means to ensure we get to keep our country
2 - we can mock everyone else and dare them to do something about it
3 - we get to bail out europe if another world war breaks out, and then continue to mock them for needing bailing out

I think the really sad thing is that she's probably proud of the fact that her stance looks like that of a scared child (although my father never, ever let me shoot a gun standing like that. I can't even imagine what he would have done to me if I'd even tried it jokingly.) I'm quite sure that she thinks her fear is a sign of intelligence.

"Only pussies shoot with both hands. " - Bullseye Shooter's Manual

My guess is that she was shooting at the 3-yard target, which is the only way she'd hit anything with that stance, and with "shaking hands" (it's called an adrenaline rush).

And sorry, if some mope breaks into my garage and lights a fire, he's fucking dead, buddy. I don't care if he's drunk, a teenager, or both.

And if the "local teenagers" want to try a little "intimidation", they're welcome to take their chance, too.

"Teenage intimidation" is something that terrifies Brits, but it means nothing to the armed householder.

I wonder why that is...

Oh, and I wanna go to Gunsite too.

Me three for wanting to go to the Gunsite. I don't think I believe she hit dead center as often as she claims. What a dipshit! Way to go Spoons!

this was just a damn funny post. excellent job.

Hey! If Kim gets to go to gunsight, I wanna go too!

I never knew about Gunsite before reading this but now that I have I want to go too.
Good post.

Well done.

I've been to Gunsite, so neener, neener...

And Rodger, please let the Gunsite staff, Clint Smith at Thunder Ranch, and the IPSC and IDPA world champions know about your little theory...

A.L.

"Clearly, for many in the US, guns are part of what makes them Americans."

Insert bad teeth/British joke here: ______.

The only gun I have tried was a pretty heavy gauge shotgun, so I can sympathize with her a little. But if I was at Gunsite, I would have to try a Desert Eagle.

take the spoon out of your arse, dear. and stick a shotgun in its place.

No. 6 with a gun--too cool!

Now just hang on a bleedin' minute. Before you all go on an anti-British feeding frenzy, I should point out that there is something else Ms Collingridge neglected to tell you. Tony Martin is widely regarded as something of a hero here in the UK too (even though he doesn't consider himself one). Polls consistently show overwhelming support for the old git, in spite of the hand-wringing outpourings from our left-liberal dominated media.

I support him too, though I'd rather he'd killed the career scumbag and shot the apprentice scumbag in the arse instead. I also support education...

You Americans who still value individual liberty should redouble your (democratic and legal) efforts to resist your fellow Americans who seek (for some peculiar reason beyond reason) to turn the USA into yet another socialist ant nest of a society.

Now, if anyone else wants to call my country or me, "first and foremost European", you can jolly well sod off. Polls consistently reject that bollocks, too.

Anonymous comment, too. Just like a Brit.

RE the anonymous Brit's comment....

What's all this "sod off" stuff? Here in the good ol' USA sod is rolls of grass you buy to put down on your lawn. I get the impression that it has something to do with masturbation over there.

Makes the term "turf war" frought with images that I just can't get out of my head.

James

P.S. Good post, Spoons!

There's a reason I travel incognito. I am engaged in criminal activity in refusing to pay a licence to watch television in the UK (in other words, I refuse to fund the BBC). I am also active in the resistance:
www.bbcresistance.com

The BBC has significant powers to pursue licence refuseniks. I don't intend to make it easy for them just yet. When the time is right for a public stand, I shall be there.

If you just have a dislike for the British (an ally of the US in the war on terror, I'm proud to say), then I bid you good day and shall trouble you no further.

Some people just can't take a joke.

My apologies for missing the joke (divided by our common language, etc). I spend a lot of time standing up for the US over here, and I was a bit taken aback by what seemed like a slagging off.

With the joking in mind, nobody should be too offended by my colourful language. Swearing here isn't regarded as a personal attack unless it's really bad, and even then it can be a term of affection. Just think of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (a truly excellent American export).

Anyway, I at least got a great holiday tip. Gunsite sounds enjoyable and educational all in one, and I'm told the scenery is splendid.

It's pretty ironic that she mocks the place, then feels compelled to lie about hitting the target dead center -- "like it's so easy, why do they even bother to practice, when an intellectual like me gets it right each time. They must be a bunch of half-wits having to practice and all."

PJF's right. Not all us Brits have surrendered to the gun-grabbing loonies. And Vanessa Collingridge has always been a drip.

(1) I don't blame the Brits for the bint that's the subject of this piece. She could just as easily have been from San Fransisco and have written that article.

(2) The term "bint" is a new one to me. Seems usefully obscure and has four letters. I like it.

(3) #6 under "The Way It's Done" makes me proud to be an American man.

Great story!

Great post. I prefer the plain old Isoceles stance, though.

Am I the only one who sees a s**t-eating grin on her face in that picture - crappy stance or no?

Heaven forbid that she admit that she enjoyed it.

llater,

llamas

Had a British fellow, also a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Marine, over here inspecting some stuff on my ship. Asked him if he wanted to go to the local range to send a few down. For someone who comes from that generally reserved culture, he was really enthusiastic about it and appeared to enjoy the opportunity immensely. That British stuff shows through, though. He liked my Ruger SP 101 best (shades of Webley), followed by the Walther PPK (Bond, James Bond...) He's a good man. Hates Tony Blair with a passion, however. I just can't see how a country with guys like this shooting companion of mine ever let a) handguns be banned, and b) the right to self-defense be basically abolished.

Hey Spoons, anytime you scrounge up the dough to attend Gunsite, lemme know and you can stay with me in Tempe.

Maybe she hit dead centre because the training is so good.

Yours,
Wince

Hey come on now. We have a body of water separating our island from Europe. Case closed.

One could argue that the Americans are more European culturally than the British. Shooting other people strikes me as very European indeed.

The British never shoot anything except Europeans. And then only if the Europeans start it.

And we never shoot Americans. That ought to be worth something.

"And we never shoot Americans. That ought to be worth something."

You should have added "at least, since around 1814".

My cousin who was in the british army came over with his family [first visit to US and Texas} bringing with him his family. One of the best parts was him and his son shooting into targets out in one of the pastures on our farm. The boy was 8 years old, and made some great memories. He really liked it when the targets were water mocasins. heh
JFH:
You keep rebelling. When you get ready for that new rope, tar and feathers you're gonna need when you get rid of your 'political handlers', let us know. Tying 'em up, tarring and feathering them will be such a joy. Then you can ride 'em out of town on a rail from one of your old defunct rail lines. *?)

"There is no easy answer for the grief or the fear of crime. I leave America feeling that while it may be a very easy matter to learn to shoot to kill, you can never be truly prepared to live with the consequences of taking another human life: pulling the trigger is a beginning, not an end."

She obviously missed the Color Code and "Post Operational Trauma" lectures from Cooper. (BTW, last I heard, there are a still a few Gunsite courses where "The Guru" teaches.)

...and what is this moronic "shoot to kill" crap? Doesn't everyone know that you shoot to _live_?

Ok guys let's not be too hard on her because she's a Brit. They are more like us than you think.
For one thing, half their country is stupid lefties - just like us.
She's just one of em.
I know a cpl English fellas that would like to slap that gun out of her hand (they're for keeping guns from the hands of stupid commies like we are).
Half the Brits are good ole brawlers like Americans and like nothing better than a good fight and/or shootin a bad guy.
Unfortunately for the Brits, the socialists have gained ctrl of things over there.
They will have to take it back (or face even more stupid wenches like the flat assed skank with the bad posture and flabby arms :p ).

Eyes closed. Heh. Reminds me of the line from Bill Jordan about the first time he used a .357 Mag: "I still don't know where that first bullet went. I'm sure I was holding dead center when I closed my eyes and jerked the trigger."

whoooo! just read the full article.

OK, we won't be hard on her because she's a brit. But we can be hard on her because she's a twit, right?

I am all befuddled by her implication that the death of a drunken teenager who sets fires in other people's garages is somehow a bad thing, also appalled that she is NOT appalled by the 'local teenager intimidation.'

WTF?

Maybe she hit the target because the Force was with her... :-)

PJF,

I went to the UK once, after a couple years stationed in Germany. Three things stick out in my memory:

A guy pulls up to my (left hand drive) VW in traffic and enquires about the sticker on the bumper, chats about his experience in Germany in the Royal Army, and says "Cheerio!" as the light changes and we drive off.

In Scotland, a few Scots invite me and my friend (from Australia) to a local pub. I tried, but literally could not buy a single round. The "stingy" Scots set an example of hospitality that sticks with me even today. That was in 1970, just before I went to VietNam.

At the Tower of London, the queue stretched forever, winding back and forth. Two punks from the very tail end shoved their way up past most of the line, when a middle aged, quite dumpy woman said "D'you see that? Well they won't get past me!" and stepped in front of them, hands on hips, facing back and glaring. They dropped their eyes and stopped.

This defined the best of the British character. You've got your share of leftist nutjobs, but you are my brothers. I was not a bit surprised that even Tony Blair acquired enough balls to stand beside us now. Don't know what his problem is with the Euro, but he knows what the British population will stand for. And I think your national sense of humor is just dandy.

Nobody's Fool

I count the falling tears
They fall before my eyes
Seems like a thousand years
Since we broke the ties
I call you on the phone
But never get a rise
So sit there all alone
It's time you realize ...
Lyrics and Songs 0

Lyrics and Songs 6

Lyrics and Songs 8

Well, it's been a while since anyone wrote anything here, so I figured it was time for an update. I really enjoyed reading all your comments; it was the best pisstake of ignorant, xenophobic, insecurity, fear-driven reactionaries I've read in a long while. I love your subtle irony and your acute sense of history AND personal threat - and the fact that you don't even care bout where someone may be from (calling a Scot a Limey was just soooo edgy!) You guys are the best - keep it up and you might just win a satire prize!!!