The Wayback Machine - http://web.archive.org/web/20041014041719/http://www.rachellucas.com:80/

October 08, 2004

Gaze upon my dog Sunny. Because it's the right thing to do in these troubled times.

You click, you get bigger view! You click now!

Which reminds me of Frank, who pointed us to Jonah Goldberg's latest, which is spectacularly good. Read now. A taste:

It just seems everything old is new again. Bush "lied" because he believed the same intelligence John Kerry believed. Bush "lied" even though John Edwards called the threat from Iraq "imminent" — something Bush never did. No one bothers to ask how it could be possible that Bush lied. How could he have known there were no WMDs? No one bothers to wonder why Tony Blair isn't a liar. Indeed, no one bothers to ask whether the Great Diplomat and Alliance Builder believes our oldest and truest allies Great Britain and Australia are lead by equally contemptible liars. Of course, they can't be liars — they are merely part of the coalition of the bribed. In John Kerry's world, it's a defense to say your oldest friends aren't dishonest, they're merely whores.

Oh, one more thing no one asks. How could Bush think he could pull this thing off? I mean, knowing as he did that there were no WMDs in Iraq, how could he invade the country and think no one would notice? And if he's capable of lying to send Americans to their deaths for some nebulous petro-oedipal conspiracy no intelligent person has bothered to make even credible, why on earth didn't he just plant some WMDs on the victim after the fact? If you're willing to kill Americans for a lie, surely you'd be willing to plant some anthrax to keep your job.

And speaking of the victim, if it's in fact true that Bush offered no rationale for the war other than WMDs, why shouldn't we simply let Saddam out of his cage and put him back in office? We can even use some of the extra money from the Oil-for-Food program to compensate him for the damage to his palaces and prisons. Heck, if John Edwards weren't busy, he could represent him.


Posted by Rachel Lucas at 10:48 AM | permalink

since Goldstein is away, I will talk back to 80s music to pass the time (even though his guest bloggers are splendid)

You know what George, you are a yo-yo. And I will leave you hanging on like one. Besides, I never wanted to put any "boom-boom" in your heart in the first place. Sissy.

Posted by Rachel Lucas at 10:44 AM | permalink

October 07, 2004

whittle-anche

You know, like Instalanche but from Bill Whittle instead. Anyway that's what my blog is having, because Bill has unleashed another bit of his brilliance.

I will brag: I've met Bill in person. And it sucks to be you if you have not had that pleasure. The man is so smart that it hurts. This country is lucky to have such people as Bill Whittle in it. Go. Read. Now.

And a quick word of bitchery from me about some current news items:

Flu shot shortage
If you won't likely die as a result of catching the flu, then would ya back off and let the elderly and sick people have the vaccine? Please? Every dose given to someone like me is a dose that can't be given to someone like my Grandma. Let's be reasonable here.

John Edwards being a dillwad
Me to John Edwards, dillwad:
"Hey Dillwad?
Shut your piehole.
Dill.
Wad."

I was going to do more but you know what, my right hand is about to fall off of my arm from all the typing and mousing I've been engaging in this week for work. So I suck, as usual. But look at the bright side, at least I'm not posting pictures of Sunny pooping in the back yard. I have such pictures, you know. She poops where I can see her, every day, and as you know I keep my camera handy. It is my belief that she knows this, and has been pooping in a particuarly conspicuous manner lately in an effort to get me to post a pic of her performance and make a rude comment about Teresa Heinz Kerry for the caption.

Posted by Rachel Lucas at 03:52 PM | permalink

September 29, 2004

ME: NOT DEAD

Bob from Newark writes to me: "If you die, who's going to take over your blog? Or have you already died and didn't get someone to take over?"

Mmmkay. Thanks for writing, Bob.

So anyway, Barbra Streisand is so breathlessly stupid that I'm not sure it's natural for her to actually exist. Just wanted to mention that, in case anyone else struggles with this question the way I do. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, thinking, if it is possible for someone to be as STUPID as Barbra Streisand, then what is the point of life itself? I mean really.

Also, speaking of stupid, can someone tell me why allegedly intelligent civilizations such as ours continue to build trailer parks up and down the coasts of Florida, and further, why people live in said parks? I saw video the other day of hurricane destruction, of course over a trailer park, and the only thing holding down the floor of one of the trailers was an 80-inch giant television. Allllrighty then.

What else? Oh, this. John Kerry's pumpkin-colored visage. Who is he trying to kid? Last time I saw flesh like that, it was in a bag labeled "Pig Ears" at PetSmart.

The dogs really like those pig ears.

P.S. Tomorrow night, George Bush is going to make John Kerry look like a pure-D, grade-A, first-class jackass. And I am so positively full of delight and anticipation that I can hardly bear my own self right now.

Posted by Rachel Lucas at 12:45 PM | permalink