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Thursday, March 17th, 2005
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3:49 pm - Poetry!
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As promised, some of my roommates poetry. (bwahahaha!)
Essential Tendency
I tried to hang
I tied up the noose
It snapped and I fell
I'd made it to loose
Frustration and pain
I tried with a gun
But it only clicked
The safety was on
I poisoned myself
With alcohol and pills
I woke up anyway
Because of my will
I lit myself on fire
Then fell on the ground
I think that I lived
Because I rolled around
Tears blur my vision
Damn it I missed
Hold my hand steady
As I slit my wrist
The only way for me
To be free of this pain
Is to find a way
To another plain
But as hard as I try
I just cannot escape this
Life is to me
The all-time, champion rapist
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 7th, 2004
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5:53 pm - YAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Saturday, October 30th, 2004
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4:34 pm - Be prepared... for Nader!
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| Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
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7:44 pm - Booyeah
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 | You preferred Kerry's statements 78% of the time You preferred Bush's statements 22% of the time Voting purely on the issues you should vote KerryWho would you vote for if you voted on the issues? Find out now! |
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
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6:56 pm
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| Saturday, July 24th, 2004
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8:56 am - Get out of here Nebulon... nobody likes your style.
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| Sunday, May 23rd, 2004
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7:45 am - Lukas this is for you
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7:29 am - Y to the IPPEE!
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I'm the first to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKAS!!!! *sends all her love to Lukas*
I'll see you at BP's!
current mood:  cheerful
current music: System of a Down - Innervision
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
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4:00 pm - Check it
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| Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
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1:45 am - Clicky
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| Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
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12:32 am - Ha
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| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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1:10 am - What is it with Colin Mochrie?
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| Thursday, February 26th, 2004
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4:59 am - Everybody to the limit, now come on fhqwghads!
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Don't you love insomnia? Seriously, I haven't slept more than a couple hours a night since more than a week ago. I can't stand much more of this, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I wish there was someone else that had this problem (or just liked to stay up incredibly, incredibly late on a weeknight) so I wouldn't be bored out of my mind.
Oh well. Since I've got nothing better to do, I'll give you all a little update on my life right now.
Hmm where to start. Let's start with work:
C-R-A-P-P spells McDonald's nowadays (oh yes, it even deserved a DOUBLE P!!). They've been telling me that i'm going to get promoted to manager since November and I haven't so much as seen a raise yet. I've been working 40 hours a week of MANAGER shifts, doing all the regular manager stuff and dealing with stupid problems that regular crew don't have to deal with and haven't seen an extra cent for it. To top it all off, I went to Team Leader Class on the weekend and I'd been working at McDonald's longer than all the other people there, and I was also probably the oldest person there. That was a real self-esteem booster right there. Grrowl.
I recently returned from my trip to Cuba (I went for a week). It was nice to finally have some time off work to just chillax and laze around. The company probably couldve been better, considering I went with my parents and 2 of my sisters, but hey, a free trip is a free trip. The weather was nice, the beach was spectacular, the food was great.... the only problem with Varadero was that it was pretty much a haven for OLD FAT PEOPLE that like to wear bathing suits that would make ME blush. Oh yeah, and I didn't get that great of a tan because when I left I was pretty much neon white. Seriously. I glowed.
The good ol' social life has taken some strange blows lately. Amanda and Ashley are having some sort of fight right now, and I really haven't seen much of either of them. Unfortunately, now that Amanda doesn't work with me anymore, I don't get to see her nearly as much. It doesn't help that her shift is 3:30 to 11:30ish every single night from Monday to Friday, and I usually work days. As for Ashley, she's always so busy with work, school, and hanging out with Kenny that theres not much time for us to talk and such. Not that it's all her fault or anything. It just makes me sad is all.
Mike and Josh had a falling out too, which creates some nice problems for me. It sucks enough that they work together and pretty much work the same shift every day, but it's even worse that I live with Mike, and Josh is always over here. Talk about ackwardness - they don't even talk to each other. They can barely stand to be in the same room. Now Josh is looking for a new job so he doesn't have to work with Mike anymore and everything. Too bad Mike is a good friend of mine... Growl to that.
I never see you band types anymore. We need to have a nice, big, old-fashioned band get-together one of these weekends. Ya know, like the old Friday nights at Lukas's every week type.
I've been thinking more and more lately about when I'm going to go back to school and what I'm going to take. I really am in a pickle about it too. I know that if I take too much time off, I'm never going to go back. But believe me, I do NOT want to be stuck in a nowhere job forever. The problem is, I think what I really want to do is to take English. I always loved it so much and did really good in it. But an English degree is just as pointless as a music degree. What can you do with it? I don't want to be a teacher. I just want to write. But I don't want to be a journalist. Hell, I don't even know WHAT I want to write. I just know that I love reading, I love literature, and I love to write. I really have to decide soon exactly what I'm going to do about this because I really want to go back to school for the fall semester.
Lastly, I've discovered lately that I've fallen in love. I'm happier with Josh than I've ever been in the rest of my life. And that's all there is to that!
ANYway, I think maybe I'll see if the gods of sleep will grant me some shut-eye.
current mood:  blah
current music: Incubus - Megalomaniac
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 30th, 2004
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10:33 pm - Ahh....
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Loungin' in my pj's on a stormy winter's night.
This is the life, man.
current mood: content
current music: Nelly Furtado - Say What You Want
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
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11:43 pm - Bah
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Guess what?
It's new years and I'm at home.
Hope everyone's having a great time getting sloshed.
current mood:  cranky
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 1st, 2003
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6:16 pm - Nostalgia
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// Series One - as usual
-- Name: Katherine Denise Verhelst
-- Birthdate: 12/02/84
-- Birthplace: Regina, SK
-- Current Location: Regina, SK
-- Eye Color: Green
-- Hair Color: Black
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
-- Innie or Outtie: innie
// Series Two - describe
-- Your Heritage: 1/4 Scottish, 1/4 Austrian, 1/2 Belgian
-- The Shoes you wore today: I haven't worn any shoes yet today
-- Your hair: is still damp from my shower
-- Your eyes: are very green, with brown and gold flecks and a dark green rim.
-- Your weakness: I tend to shrug off my responsibilities when offered an opportunity to have a better time
-- Your fears: zombies, the ocean, being alone, libraries, bugs
-- Your perfect pizza: lots of spicy pepperoni, a medium crust, and lots of cheese with spicy tomato sauce.. none of that sweet-tasting shit
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: I want a family someday
// Series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: meh
-- Your thoughts first waking up: ugh... work
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: their smile, then their hair, then their eyes
-- Your best physical feature: my breasts, my bum, and my smile
-- Your bedtime: between 3 and 6 AM
-- Your greatest accomplishment: moving out on my own and supporting myself
-- Your most missed memory: Partying it up with the McD's crew
// Series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-- McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's (duh)
-- Single or Group date: Single
-- Adidas or Nike: neither
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
-- Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino
-- Boxers or briefs: Boxers
// Series Five - do you
-- Smoke: Occasionally
-- Cuss: Sometimes
-- Sing well: Sorta
-- Take a shower everyday: yes
-- Have a crush(es): yeah
-- Who are they: Josh
-- Do you think you've been in love: yeah
-- Want to go to college: Want to? No.
-- Like High School: No. It sucked.
-- Want to get married: Yeah
-- Type w/ fingers on the right keys: yeah
-- Believe in yourself: most of the time
-- Get motion sickness: no
-- Think you're attractive: yeah
-- Think you're a health freak: NO
-- Get along with your parents: yeah we get along alright
-- Like thunderstorms: love them
-- Play an instrument: yup
// Series Six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Smoke(d): Yes
-- Done a drug: Yes
-- Have Sex: Yes
-- Made out: Yes
-- Go on a date: Yes
-- Go to the mall: Yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Yes
-- Eaten Sushi: No
-- Been on stage: Yes
-- Been dumped: No
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: No
-- Been in love: No
-- Gone skinny dipping: No
-- Dyed your hair: Yes
-- Stolen anything: No
// Series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required the removal of clothing: Yes
-- If so, was it in mixed company: Yes
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
-- Been caught "doing something": Unfortunately
-- Been called a tease: Yes
-- Gotten beaten up: No
-- Shoplifted: No
-- If so, did you get caught: --
// Series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: 25ish
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 3...Justine, Daniela, Mikaela, Jamieson, Jacob, Andrew
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: don’t really care that much
-- How do you want to die: peacefully in my sleep
-- Where you want to go to college: I don't care
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I have no idea
-- What country would you most like to visit: Italy or England
// Series nine - number of
-- People I could trust with my life: 5 or so
-- CD's I own: 15 maybe
-- Number of piercings: one in each ear
-- Number of tattoos: none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 3 or 4?
-- Number of scars on my body: 15 maybe but most are small ones on my hands and arms. Working at McDonald's does that to you.
-- Number of things in my past I regret: Countless things.
current mood: content
current music: battle music from ff X-2
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 27th, 2003
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8:59 pm - Emotion
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I'd rather be angry, bitter or depressed than apathetic. It's far more healthy. For the longest time I've been numb to emotion.
The last time I was really angry? When I still lived with my parents, probably in April sometime.
The last time I was really depressed? When me and Jason broke up last spring.
The last time I felt really proud? I don't even remember. In the last year I haven't even done anything worth mentioning.
Now then... the real question: the last time I was really happy?
Until about a month ago the answer would have been sometime last November or December. Don't get me wrong. I, like I said, haven't been really depressed or anything for the last year. I've been getting by just fine. Just.... apathetic. Strangly, this has been the time that I've made more changes in my life than ever before.
The first step I took was ending my relationship with Jason. I guess the real reason for it was the monotony that I felt. I felt so trapped in all elements of my life. I had to go to school, I had to deal with my family, I had to be with Jason. The biggest influence on how my life was at the time was Jason. I guess that since I didn't like how my life was at the time, it was logical for me to move on that way. I'm not saying that it didn't hurt. It was losing my best friend and confidante that I'd had for the previous 2 and a half years. But it was something that i just had to do. I don't really expect people to understand it...
The next step that I had to take was the whole family thing. I just could not live under the same roof as my parents. God knows I love them, but we are far different people and I doubt there is any way that we can live under the same roof and NOT clash constantly. We still have the occasional fight, but luckily for me its very very easy for me to get away from it. Living on my own has offered me so much independence and such an amazing chance to actually develop a life that is completely my own. I make all my own decisions and feel all the consequences and rewards of my actions without having to deal with the eyes of my parents judging my every move.
Then, of course, there was my decision to stop taking music in university. This decision just sort of came to me one night as I was lying in bed. I guess you could call it an epiphany. I realised that I wasn't enjoying what I was doing. I dreaded every minute of class, every moment of rehearsal, and every second of thought that I had to put into ANYTHING related to it. Music to me can never be more than a means of expression. I can't take it in school. I don't give a shit about the logistics behind it. I care that it can make me feel good when I do it, and that feeling is definitely not there when I'm sitting in a desk taking notes on how to write a cadential 6/4 or the characteristics of the French overture in the 17th century...
Those are the three major things that I've changed over the last while, and the longer my life is how it is now, the happier I am becoming. I'm finally settling into a lifestyle that I really enjoy. I'm calming down after all of these new experiences and finding that I like how everything is. It might have been difficult for me to make all those decisions and follow through with them, and God knows that I'll have a lot more tough changes coming, but for now I'm perfectly content. I love my friends, and me and Josh are really happy... it's all those old feelings coming back again.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Incubus - New Skin
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(comment on this)
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8:07 pm - One more reason Christianity angers me
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In the Christian faith, only those who accept their god and only their god can be accepted into heaven. Those who follow other religions, worship other gods, who have no faith or are undecided are not forgiven. They go to hell.
Whoa there. Am I to believe that the loving, compassionate, forgiving god that was drilled into my half-conscious mind each and every sunday will damn someone just because they didn't openly state they were a Christian?? What if the person who finds the cure for cancer, thus saving millions of lives, happens to be Jewish? OOPsies, you weren't baptised, oh well its off to hell you go! What happens to the million of people in India or China or the like who have never been taught anything about Jesus? They've been taught to believe the wrong thing from birth, and for this they suffer for all eternity?
Sorry, Christianity.... you can't have both forgiveness and damnation.
current mood: cynical
current music: Sin - Nine Inch Nails
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 20th, 2003
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10:16 pm - Rowan
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Happy belated birthday, dude!
I'll join you in 2 weeks ;)
current mood: cranky
current music: Incubus - Nice To Know You
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 13th, 2003
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10:14 pm - *wink wink*
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.....guess who has the INTERNET now?
I'll be seeing you on MSN. If I've forgotten to add you, add me to your MSN list at k_verhelst@hotmail.com
current mood: happy
current music: System of a Down- Prison Song
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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awake
dorky
