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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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3:37 pm - Walking Apox
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The Zombie affliction is a mercykiller in a reverse sense. It aims itself at the most merciful individuals. Chances are, if you can't plug your best friend or relative in the face after they've been bit, you're going to die.
So, if we went a Biblical route with this thought, what kind of message would said God, ravager of the world, bringer of ends, be trying to convey? Utter hopelessness? Or would it be something of a test perhaps? See if you can survive without becoming cold and savage?
Eitherway, Mr. Bill across the street that I have known for 12 years gets bitten and I've got the gun? I'm doing his ass a fucking favor.
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12:11 pm - Last night
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Was the first night in a very long time I have had even a remotely clear view of what my brain has been doing in my absence. It was pretty groovey too. CHECK IT.
I was just hanging out talking to Mike, Lauren, Chrissy and a few other nondescript individuals, telling them how I have psychic powers. We were all sort of exchanging these little personal secrets or something back and forth, and I just happened to have brain powers, so I guess that's pretty cool. I can't remember what anyone else was saying, though I think a couple of people were speaking along similar lines. That's beside the point [WHICH IS ME DARR]. So I get called in to this huge and rather important looking testing facility of some kind. Everyone is mighty fancible and the like, and this guy is giving me a tour. He already knows I have these crazy powers waiting to be used, and he wants to sign me in as some kind of new test subject [they apparently want to make me a super high tech geneticly altered uber ninja with psionic capabilities]- so I am like, woah, that's intense, lemme think about it. So the fucking guy busts out a cell phone and calls my grandma. Then he tells me she's not going to sound so happy any more if I don't join him. So I am like, "geez, okay, chill out asshole, I was going to say yes anyway, why pass up being a fucking uberninja? Jagoff."
Then when I am like, "yeah sure okay whatever fuck with my DNA it is all yours have at it what are you waiting for?"
He's like, "woahwoah, slow down killer and meet some of the others, right? Right."
So I am shown a group of three kids who are like, energy squid beings. With normal upper bodies. Their lower halves looked like that really cool screen saver- the one with the ball of light that changes colors and floats around the screen with the multi colored tendrils? Yeah, that's them. They showed me how they could shoot energy beams and then one got eaten by a super shark when he got too close to the pool.
Anyway, after my AwesomeTransformation[tm] had been completed, they needed to (A) test me, and (B) recover some lost something or other in a techno zombie infested area. So I am like, fuck yeah man, let's do this shit. I remember starting in this house with a small team [and I think Mike and Lauren were in it], we snuck around looking for whatever the hell we were looking for, but we got spotted because the stupid thing was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. Then all these hords of digitally enhanced zombies started flooding at us. So I am like, SHITSHIT YOU GUYZ RUN AND I GOTCHA BAKZ.
They were like, "No way dood, yer wit uz."
So I brainhack reality and give myself a railfiring minigun on my arm with a HUGE pack of ammo on my back.
Then I am like, "Dood, hokay, I got dis shit." -And they didn't argue any more. They ran to our yellow submarine that was in the local river with "The Thing" and I proceeded to kill EVERYONE IN THE TOWN FOR THE NEXT TEN MINUTES WITH MY TOTALLY AWESOME REALITY HACKED RAILFIRING MINIGUN.
It conveniently ran out of ammo when I killed off just about everyone, so I drop the thing and scramble to the sub. They say absolutely nothing about my killing spree and we drive around these really finely crafted underwater canals [like they were built just for us, only...Aztec]. Then I drive us along and those super sharks show up and everyone is like, HOLY SHIT WE ARE FUCKED ONE OF THOSE ATE THE ENERGY SQUID KID. And some guy no one else can see comes up behind me, dressed in a fine black suit, bald, with black, ashlike skin, and he tells me that I have some kind of pact with them [like the Zoras or somesuch, right?] and they gaurd me the rest of the way.
So then we surface, climb out of a sewer lid into a street and join a bunch of these students in the rain at night. Moses is there and he tells a sage like teacher that he joined an organization and the guy says, "Daym boi, you gonna be in skoo lik, another TEN years!"
Then Moe was like, "yeah whatever I am way too smart to be here that long, end of story." The old man no longer argued. But he did summon us a trolley and we all got on and drove into DOM WAKE UP.
.EDIT// I totally remember Pjotr being on that trolley showing be the fact that he was wearing three belts. Thend
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, September 27th, 2004
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10:07 pm - Internet is so slow
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Wow I leave for a weekend and the whole updating thing has changed, how gay as we all know change sucks because we hate change when it gets different just like gay people (They are the cause of all of the worlds problems, such as terrorism).
SO I'd like to talk about myself and how I am doing, but I hate doing that, especially directly, and right now I don't have the patience to muddle things up for you... so buhbuhbuhbuh fuck it.
I've noticed something lately. People make lots and lots of short sighted judgements, then string them awkwardly together and call it a scarf when it looks a good deal more like a doiley (and it isn't even the right color to match the days outfit like OMG). I've also noticed that more than ever, I don't have the full story either. It is a bit unsettling when you finally realize just a bit more that your friends do in fact talk about you occasionally without you being there. You'd think I would have figured this shit out after St. Ed's, right? Fuck you. I don't really have an excuse for that one.
I have half the mind to get hitched to a foreigner, move far, far away, then continue my studies that way (probably with a new major again, let's lol at that one, right guys?). By all means, I should be happy with my current circumstances, but it is all these little things in life that I am coming to hate- then I get all stupid and weepy, and people make more judgements. Oh wait, even the big things are pretty suck too. Thx CWO.
Problem is trying to keep reigns on everything. The eyes have been so busy trying to catch everything changing, that we've forgotten what our hands are doing. Then once we look down and realize it's all been a lot of masturbation, it makes me think, "wow, that was pretty unconstructive." Which is a lot like this updating gig right here. Pretty much a waste of my time, just like all this other shit. I have two tests to study for. I am looking crossways at that strap-on and thinking, "If I knew it was coming, why didn't I buy the bucket of lube?"
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| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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7:51 pm - Tongues are in your mouth iz
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Instead of writing stupid thoughts on stupid things, I am going to write now on the important things in life. That which carries to most impact to everyone. Today I woke up. It was crazy. Then I was like, WOAH I had dreams yeah that is cool. ThenI was like DAYM I am the hunger, let us eat food. MASTURBATION FIRST. Then I totally went and ate food and it was like WOW.
EVERYONE. Go eat twinkies, they are a marvelous weight loss program. GO.
I scratched my head and my armpit at precisely the same moment just now but stopped when I realized what I was doing. I stopped to wonder in awe at the power i had discovered. Then I flew around shooting electric eels out of my tearducts. I had to stop because the .INTERNET// said that flying around pouring electric eels out of your tear ducts on to large clowns on small bikes aka large clowns on small bikes is wrong. You can find that one on page 52. Medusa resides in my underarms. I gave a speach applying for the righthand position at the head of Concert Committee. It went something like this:
"Hey wutz up guyz, I don't know wtf I am for doing heer, plz vote 4 me plz evn tho u shood lik ttly vote for the other guy cuz he knos wutz up. I reely don't even kno whut the position iz for or whut I am supposed to do, so y dont u al hlp me out and tell me wutz up hokay? Alright gif me ur Qs and I will lik ttly give u my As. Thug it out dawggs pimps and hos word."
Needless to say I did not win, but it was fun anyway. So after I ate a sort of breakfast this morning I took a shower. It was really intense. This hole opened up and I heard the voice of god. It told me to wash my ass twice because the first time I would miss a little on my forhead. I was like, "thx gawd ur a cool cat." Then blood fired out of the hole and coated me from head to ass. Not my toes though, they were totally clean.
I aged a little bit.
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| Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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8:41 pm - Porceline Ebbs
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[It's really not very hard, but 10 GP will be awarded to whoever figures out what this is referring to]
Blue it sings then into green;
Pass the spiral in between;
Swirling abyss to the yet unseen;
In forever the end is clean;
It’s just another porceline dream.
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5:51 pm - sound noise in your EARS
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There was just an accident on the highway infront of my apartment. I heard a car collide with another one, roll a little ways, and the horn can't shut off. It's times like this that everyone comes out of the gopher holes to observe, but not to act - there are always others to do that. This thought bothers me.
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| Thursday, September 9th, 2004
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10:50 am - My bathroom hole just keeps getting bigger
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So Silent Hill 4 is worse when you fall asleep and someone else is still plaing it on the outside... BECAUSE IT CAN FUMBLE WITH YOUR MINDTOYS.
It's so rad.
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10:37 am - boojangboojangboojang
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No matter what, fractions will always rest on you long after you have forgotten and you will still feel it. You can’t hide it, you have to let it all go to walk on its own. Coexistence is all we can hope for now, and slowly history is buried and rewritten, everything becomes a cliche, and when the world finally falls to apathy, hopefully it will just collapse in on itself, and then maybe possibly finally we can start over. New Game X. Is the point to find the end or is it still okay to decipher the code for infinites and perfect scores. Is it worth it when you didn’t really do it for yourself according to convention?
A bunch of fucking chimps geneticly shave themselves and make piles of mud and now we trap ourselves in ourselves scratching at the sky with our eyes and it’s just too bad all that friction can maybe make you blind.
FREE SKULL FUCK COUPONS STILL AVAILABLE- GOING FAST
"Ancients" might have had a leg up on us as they had only to depend on themselves and bare necessities. or die. Now we have applianceconveniences. Strip away all the metal and the plastic and the cables and the caged light, even the pens and the ink and the paper and the parchment. Lack of excess leads to creative ways of movement and accoplishment. Without a calculator you turn to paper, but without the paper you are only left with you and your headpan. This isn’t an attempt at being new and innovative, so much as an attempt to carve my own path in the airspace without relying so much on those before the current and perhaps even those therein, regardless the difficulty associated with attempting the latter.
.FAILURE//
Again it seems like we’re quarantined off with doors in all directions.
Always act like you are constantly/never being observed and maybe you’ll get closer to you or something.voidvoidvoid a puzzleboard is easy to cut into pieces, but when you give that shit to someone else or mix it up yourself it is less simple. It is the truely clever that put things back together again. Even an idiot can break a sentence into pieces in hopes of sounding cryptic.
.SAVE//token
it is all an outletescape in lieu of understanding or finality. fuck this I need to go to sleep.
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| Saturday, September 4th, 2004
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5:53 pm - Route that shit
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| Saturday, August 21st, 2004
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10:14 pm - Competesent
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I really have to say that I am seriously impressed with the way all the contestants have been at the Olypics so far. Everyone is just so cool with each other. After EVERY event all the runners, gymnasts, swimmers, etc. are always cordial to the others or hugging or whatever. It's kind of like they finally dropped all this, "I ate your country we will win against you and crush your morale into dusty frump" shit and realized, "Hey... we're in the fucking Olympics man. WHOA SO ARE YOU. Let's fucking rock this shit inside out. "
That and some of these women are just so gorgeous. Holy shit all the contestants period are built like motherfucking wild horses. Yeah, that and peoples names are way cooler in the Olympics. Yeah, I bet you're thinking, "That's because they are from other countries, duh geez come on stupid." BUT WAIT. Even the Americans have rad names. I think it is kind of a prerequisite. You know, in addition to being a badass. That, or maybe they give you a new one if your real name was a little too lame for their tastes.
Ben Smith? BECOME BALTHAZAAR SORQUEVOSMASH. Now WIN. Win this for the WORLD. GO BALTHAZAAR. GO.
So I think I am going to try out for Cirque du Soliel after watching all this. Sure I'll make an ass of myself, but it would be so rad. I also realize that they recruit you when you're like, a fetus and train you like MACHINES. I sick of being like, "Yeah Dante, you got that flipping shit down. I wish I could pull that double jump thing off." FUCK THAT. Demon or no, I am learning how to double jump. BuhBAM. Gackt I am coming into your game just to fucking double jump in your face and you'll love every second of it because you're weird like that.
I went to the Hindu temple today. Beautiful. 50 million dollars beautiful, but man. Everyone should see this place. Everything is just a work of art, it's intense. Everyone was so sweet there too. But it was weird being the only shite schmuck bumbling around TOTALLY CLUELESS. I even put my shoes in the chicks' rack and got some chuckles. I want to help build that place.
Oh yeah, I bought Mystic Heroes for $14.95. It's like Samurai Warriors for toddlers, but I still fucking love it.
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| Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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5:40 pm - the hulk is green, but once he was grey
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| Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
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3:34 am - Get some prepackaged LOLs in your life
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Haha no more sitting under the big stone slab with the faulty collumns. I want to go swimming.
Ages come and go, alliances are formed and countries can grow or fall, but really, it all stays the same. I'm sure some dead chinaman has said something about it. When you recognize something for what it is, is when you can truely act on it.
I love that everyone is so judgemental of everything all the time. Especially when they have room to be. Like sports commentators and art critics. It seemes really rare that anyone really takes anything to heart, criticly... because criticism itself has become a cliche, just like everything else. Even that word. Like a tumor. Everyone wants to be a critic because critics are the people we look to for quick and purposeful opinions.
I have really come into disfavor with the idea of destiny. Chances are, everything is going to happen that can happen. We just overlook the little things that flow constantly, but when a bigger ripple happens once in a while, it's a natural reaction to stare at it[even if the cause has moved on (like a fruitfly in your eyes)].
I will never get over this girl who thought in all sincerity she could say, "I think thoughts so deep no one else could even concieve of them" and not look like a fucking chimp. I mean, seriously, you're 17 you tool. Grow some pubic hair.
People don't just theorize enough anymore. Let thoughts be all dynamic and such. Everything has to have a base, like reality needs justification. Hahahaha, I really don't know what I am talking about at this point. I never really had a point, so much as being ironic to myself currently. Then, people are going to read this and go, "damn, I've read 600 gay LJ entries just like this one. BUT WAIT. "GAY" is too overused as well. Gay is trendy now. OR IS IT JUST MORE ACCEPTED? WAIT EVERYTHING IS A TREND. I GUESS THAT JUST PUTS US BACK AT OVAL ONE DOES NOT IT OMG I THINK THOUGHTS TOO DEEP FOR ANYONE MY HEAD WILL JUST CAVE IN ON ITSELF FUCK ME GIVE ME THE COLLUMNS BACK NO MATTER HOW FAULTY THEY ARE THE WATER IS DARK AND I CANT SWIM WHO KNOWS WHAT IS IN THERE SHIT SHIT SHIT CHECK MY PUBES WAIT I SHAVE.
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2:54 am - "A sonnet of his own pure brain"
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So I think that the play Much Ado About Nothing could be completely ruined were Hiro[?] to say, "Joke's on you mothafuckas- the jig is UP. You got served." right after she unveils herself in the second wedding.
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| Monday, August 16th, 2004
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3:44 am - Corey Taylor he is my hero GO FOR THE GOLD COREY
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I am going to start a lot more joint ventures.
The beautiful bunny in my ICONAVATAR on livejournal[an internet based insitution] was drawn by EVAN it is awesome go to his site and see wonders it even has a quippy title that sounds like it is beneficent in nature so go there now and you will be happy
http://www.pleasegethappy.tk
I reiterate my point go to Evan's site because it is better than whatever you are doing right now. You can figure it out if you have .INTERNET//SAVVY if you cannot you are stupid. Nude Empires.
This future Bard shit has to start somewhere. I just have to find some guy to shoot a gun, possibly at the runners. You know, were the guy with the pistol signaling the start of a race to suddenly open fire toward the general vicinity of the racers with a fully loaded weapon, I bet they would move the fastest they ever have in their lives. However short lived it might end up being.
[iTunes].RANDOM//Mirah-I missed you
TARDIS is now ONLINE and functional, albeit slow. The seeds are sitting next to the fruit. Haha it is so much easier to take things apart than to put them together functionally again.
.FREE//skull-fuck[COUPON]
~Good for one free Skull-Fuck: Take one and win be a winner and take one you want to be a winner do not you I know you do and so do you come on every one let us be winners
[hey kids the best thing about being totally unoriginal is that you never have to depend on yourself ever again who hates the responsibility of thought i know it is tough GIVE IT UP SUCKAS]
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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5:09 am - Cogent
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| Saturday, August 7th, 2004
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11:12 am - Goonies Never Say Die
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After watching the rest of Moon Child I managed to stay conscious for perhaps another hour before finally going away. My dreams were OBVIOUSLY not affected by the viewing of said film as I dreamed I was a vampire that had joined the Goonies to make sure they were always okay. Alright, I also helped them steal things, but it I was mostly there to watch them.
Also I saw my friend naked across the street as she was carrying out her garbage, so that was pretty random.
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| Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
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7:09 pm - shaves hair off trees
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I am not incompitent, I am ignorant.
This is not my bag of tricks, I am only borrowing it. I don't know what the fucking marbles mean, let alone do. I haven't even seen a fraction of them yet.
Fuck pretentious, presumptous walking egos, and fuck that which lifts them.
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| Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
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3:01 am - TOILET LOG 1.7
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28bunny
Yeah, okay. That last piece of historical evidence was crap. I was digging through some files, and I managed to piece the rest together. Hah. It was a clip from some guy named "Laibunk" or some such. Looks like he got himself a piece of creativity, wrote a song and scrounged up a bit recording equipment. Now don't I feel like a chump. I been had by a several thousand year old dead guy.
13bat
I been camped outside the walls of the main ruins of the citadel for about a day now. It's actually quite fascinating. The exterior structure is crafted of a dark metal I never seen before. Pretty sure the guys that have been following me are afraid of my gentle giant here. Maybe it was all the warning signs and corpsified folk hangin about on sticks and what have you. Yeah, yeah, okay, I get a little wuzzley around them too, but there ain't any more the closer you get to this castle thing... so I should be straight away. I need a massage.
07lamb
Gorram mercs may have pussified their way out of coming near me, but that Noble apparently has no regard for all my hanging friends... seeing as I've been under siege fire for the past couple of hours. Likely that asshat dancing clown put some of these folk here. Luckily for me, it seems that the Arts resonate here with greater efficiency, so my flow fields have been exceptionally effective. Not so luckily for me, these guys apparently already knew our weaponry can't really scratch this wall. Thusly, I incure heavy fire regardless my seemingly clever positioning.
07.3lamb
LET US ALL TAKE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR MY BELOVED SPEEDER AS IT WAS JUST STRUCK[DESTROYED] I AM REALLY REALLY SAD[BROKEN] ABOUT THIS. THEM FUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY. ZORCHING TIME SISSIES
Her loss will give me strength. I MUST NOT FEAR. FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER. THE LITTLE DEATH. Oh man I am such a man[girly], I took a piece of shrapnel from the explosion in my leg and I am unphased[because no one saw my actual tears, thanks goggles I will never mock your cracked visage again].
30gazel
I decided to make a break for it... figured them armored pikeys'd be coming in after me on foot soon what with their shitty attempts at smoking me out[shrapnel wound doesn't hurt a bit I am a man and men don't cry]. It figures that the closest thing to me emotionally in this place would be the one thing to hurt me good and proper like. I digress.
I found a way into the Citadel. Rather... it found me. The wall got all glowy like and opened up for me kindly when my close friends and associates wielding mini hand cannons at my finely sculpted ass were catching up in tag. I hope the wall closed behind me... I never really stopped to look back.
09owl
I found myself in a library of sorts. Astounding. Volumes and volumes. I could pour my life into here and never get through what this place has to offer me. I fail to grasp why no one has tapped this resource before... let alone attempted. I guess it was taboo. Supersticions- peoples' own minds keeping each other at bay. Either way, I've been taking what I can fit - discriminately of course - I am no thief. Right. We- AW SHITNUTS THE DOOR NEVER CLOSED THAT WAS REALLY CLOSE TO MY BALLS THANKS FOR MISSING GUYS GOTTA RUN.
01Ameoba
I escaped only to find myself in the top of a central tower. A control facility. That's what this is. A giant control room. I wish I could look around more, but I am still coming under fire. Over the railing- ow. YOU TRY THAT JUMP PUSSIES. GUNS ARE FOR WUSSES OH SHIT TOO CLOSE.
Why is this place- everything is glowing. And humming. It's on! This place is alive? It must have been my mojo that woke her up no doubt, after all I a- FUCK don't they ever run out of ammo? Wait- I know this language. Same as Laibwark.. if I hit this and this... take off proceedure wha? Wait- THIS IS TAKING OFF. I am LEAVING. Defences ON! DIE MOTHERFUCKERS. THIS IS FOR THE SPEEDER.
FREEDOM-
Wait, my phone is ringing... wha, hel- ~BAMPH~ .FIN//
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1:43 am - Open bubbles
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A rampant Oliphaunt riding on the waves the wingy ears let me go where I aren't supposed to be. In approximately 3.45 hours I will have been born 21 years ago.
Really? All I ask for is the sun. I just need a Firefly to get me there first. Either way, I'd never make it there. Even if I did, I'm pretty positive it would light me up all pretty like for nobody to see. I'll just wait for her to rise in the morning. Same as any other day. Stare me down and burn me again. I should have learned at birth when they told my mom I was allergic. At the very least, the reddened skin and sickness should have been a clue.
People can overcome allergies. Over time, slowly, an individual can immunize themselves to what their [pwn] body does to them under certain circumstances, just as one can overcome outside influences as well.
IOCANE POWDER. I'D BET MY LIFE ON IT.
Nah. I have the same thought in my headspace as any other guy. I suppose I might be a tad to the side, but only because I am doing something about it.
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| Monday, July 26th, 2004
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2:30 pm - A V A C A D O
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So why doesn't anyone just fucking come out and say what they mean? Maybe actually stop to inquire instead of driving down the same road for 20 more minutes even though you know you're fucking lost, but why do that it is being weak obviously anything that is weak is not manly and that is why women don't drive.
PROGRESSION MAP N-GAGE
.HINT+HEARSAY//message>
.INTAKE//assumption>
.CONFABULATION//solidsnake.IRONY
Why stop and hear everything when you can just ignore it. LET US TURN ON A TELEVISION. A million ants fucking is still better than life.
Blahblahblahblah-burbedy-blahblah-boo. THIS IS FUN EVERYBODY DANCE I AM ENJOYING MYSELF.
That last channel was cool for a few minutes, now this one is awesome and absolutely hillarious. OH WAIT WHAT IF THERE ARE NO ABSOLUTES OH SHIT LETS NOT TALK SUBJECTIVISM[EZ WAY/out-CRAFTmacaroni and the CHEESE]. While I really enjoyed channel .LAST// for those few minutes, this new one has only been enjoyed a few seconds yet, but we are having a power outage. OSNAP. CHANNEL ON AGAIN< THIS IS SO X ITING 1s MORE.
UPDATE: Programmers are happy the ratings are up on channel 4[news] and now channel .LAST// is out of commission.
"Hey Lauren, do you have the chuck key?"
"Did you just call me Hitler?"
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