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I'm at work and have just finished The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis. A few minutes ago, I popped in the first tape of the next book, Slander: Lies about the Liberal Right by Ann Coulter. I couldn't get more than a few minutes into the introduction! I've "read" the books Lies and the Lying Liars who tell them by Al Franken and Dude! Where's My Country? by Michael Moore, both of which address misstatements, distortions, and er, lies by O'Reilly, Coulter, and the rest. ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20050318010744im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) runeshower reminded me that it to be fully informed, I should actually see what O'Reilly, Coulter, and the rest are actually saying, not just what Franken and Moore say they're saying. Well, I've tried. As I said, I'm trying to be fair. Really I am. I will admit that Franken and Moore have made some blanket statements in their books, although they do seem to have made an effort to back up their statements while condemning the lack of fact-checking in the statements of the conservative authors, especially Franken, since that was a prime theme of his book. Thinking of misstatements, I'm thinking of how O'Reilly condemned Sen. Boxer for questioning Rice's "respect for or the troops." Even after many wrote/called in to correct him, that the senator said, "respect for the truth," he refused to admit he had erred. Is it so much easier to accept blanket statments when it's about values one doesn't agree with? I know that it is very difficult to accept blanket statements and condemnations of values that I hold dear. She starts the attacks in the first paragraph complaining at how oppressive and mean Liberals are. I found my getting more upset with each sentence. I had to stop the tape am now about to start the next book, a short 1-cassette work by Deepak Chopra, Escaping the Prison of the Intellect. After that is The Three Musketeers, by Alexandre Dumas (19 tapes!). I have 3-weeks to attempt this book before having to decide whether to renew or just return it to the library. Perhaps reading an "uncomfortable" book like Coulter's is better done in print. Taking it in by spoken word is perhaps too intimate, too likely to trigger such reactions of defensiveness and indignation.
Current Mood:  distressed
Current Music: Audio Book: Escaping the Prison of the Intellect by D Chopra
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There was a bit of a snafu this weekend. Yesterday, I picked my son (Young Dragon) at his moms. I picked up his friend Alex as well -- my son had him over for a sleepover. I took the two of them out to lunch and then on to a birthday party with another friend named Alex. There was some confusing about whether or not the party was an overnight but I thought it was finally determined that it was. My son and Alex both had packed bags for the party. Since I thought my son was now secure until the next day, we went forward with our earlier plan of spending time over at the home of jobethfun67 and maestrodog for Babylon 5 and pizza. We were supposed to have done it the night before, but it had been canceled. Not too long before we were to leave, my cell phone went dead and I plugged it in to recharge. Thinking that my son was secure for the night, and that he had runeshower's cell phone number (it turns out he's only called her phone from his mom's cell phone, using her phone list), I didn't think there'd be a problem with leaving it behind, otherwise I would have taken it and the charger with me. Turns out I was mistaken. Perhaps it was that the party at Alex's was not to be a sleep over, but my son was planning on going over to Alex's for a sleepover after the party. All I know is that I misunderstood. Perhaps if I'd double checked, but I thought everything was clear. The party was actually supposed to be over at 7:00, and at 6:45, YD left a message on my cell phone asking to not be picked up until 9:30 or 10:00. At 10:00 or so, my ex left a message saying that my son had been trying to contact me. We ended up spending the night in the guest room and as soon as I got home this morning, I went to check my cell phone. As I was picking it up, it started ringing. My ex called to chew me out for the mistake, casting me as a Bad Father (tm), accusing me of putting Runeshower above our son and so forth. My son ended up spending the night at the house of the birthday Alex. I expressed my intent to pick him up to continue my time with him, but she has insisted that she will take care of it and that I'll see him next weekend. I stressed that I could go forward from here and that we are supposed to share this vacation time of his. She ended up hanging up on me a few times. Where is it now? I called my son and he still wants me to pick him up at noon. He said he'd call his mom to ask her not to pick him up. We'll see how that works out.
Current Mood:  frustrated
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Friday was the last day at my latest temp assignment. That in itself is not so bad, since I have another week-long assignment starting tomorrow. After working at the company on 3 assignments, those whom I've worked with were recommending me for a long term position working with their e-biz web site. The downside was that I didn't have a good background in Perl scripting, but those who know me felt that those were more than outweighed by my other skills. Those who were strong in the technical skills but light in the rest haven't lasted long. These three people felt that my ability to learn quickly and work with others more than made up for any temporary lack. One of the people who recommended me actually started with the company in this position. Unfortunately, the woman making the initial decision didn't see it that way. She was worried that my technical background was too light. Perhaps I didn't stress the things I've actually done and learned enough. In any case, she wasn't convinced. I'm not going to be considered for the position. On the other hand, it wasn't a full hire position, it is a long-term contractor position. Though it would have opened the door for an eventual full-hire, it wasn't going to start that way. In the mean time, those who gave me such glowing recommendations hope that I'll be able to come out when next they need me. If I continue to develop my skills, perhaps the position will be available again when I'm able to show a better skill set.
Current Mood:  happy
Current Music: The hum of the computer.
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This post was originally posted in ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20050318010744im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) polyamory. It was in response to A Question of Semantics. First off, I think that the question itself is perhaps a bit unclear. You ask, "What do you think the difference is between being polyamorous and having fuck buddies?" "Being" and "having" are two totally different things, IMHO. My Lady Love, runeshower and I are polyamorous (state of being), yet currently we are sexually monogamous (behavior). The fact that we are currently seeing no others in that way does not mean we are no longer polyamorous. For me, polyamory is less about what you do, what form an individual relationship takes, and more about how you think, how you feel, how you approach relationships in general. In our own case, being polyamorous also means that we have more freedom in how we relate to our friends; we don't seem to feel that we must keep rigid barriers of emotional intimacy between us and our friends. As I see it (in my own particular model), one essential quality that distinguishes the poly paradigm from the classic views of relationships is that the classic view (mono paradigm?) tends to view relationships in discrete categories. I feel that the classic view sees barriers/gulfs between relationships defined as "friend" and relationships defined as "lover" as universal. In my experience, many poly people tend to see things as much less rigid; some may feel that there are more discrete states and others may feel that relationships exit along a continuum with no discrete gaps between one type of relationship and another. Another common aspect I have seen is one of fluidity. Relationships are often seen as being able to naturally change state over time, friendships moving to friends-with-benefits to something deeper, or the other way around. Another thing is that I see the classic paradigm as assuming a boolean, either/or, yes/no model of relationships. I see the poly paradigm as having multiple states whether discrete or not. Instead of a relationship being all one thing or another (poly/not poly, love/not love). I would offer that the poly model (as I see it, of course) is one that considers relationships to involve complex, multi-demensional states that have a number of attributes at varying levels. Over the years, I have seen polyamorous people who do relationships in any number of different ways. This can be poly-fi, a very loose intimate network, or any other type of relationship. I'm not saying that all swingers are polyamorous, but being active in swinger communities or play parties would not make a polyamorous person not poly. Having fuck buddies does not mean one is not polyamorous, the two are not mutually exclusive, IMHO. You may feel that there is a difference, or know that for you there is a difference, but I don't think it is accurate to say that you know that there is a (universal) difference. Let me try to rephrase the question to try and address possible differences: What do you think the difference is between having polyamorous relationships and having fuckbuddies?With what I said above, this is a difficult question. What defines a "polyamorous relationship" or "poly-style relationship" may vary from person to person. There are some who seemed to imply a distinction between "friends-with-benefits" (poly) and "fuck buddies" (not poly). That may hold for the model that person uses. The problem is that each person may apply a different label to the same behavior. What do you think the difference is between a polyamorous person having fuckbuddies and a non-polyamorous person having fuckbuddies?This might perhaps be a useful question. As I see the classic model, a person who has a number of low investment sexual relationships is either avoiding commitment or is perhaps shopping for the One™. Perhaps the fuck buddy relationships are a bit insecure--they are prone to be dropped in favor of monogamy when the One is found. I would see the case differently for those whom a polyamorous person is seeing. Even if the person has no "serious" relationship at this time, those casual relationships are not assumed to be dropped if and when one is found (or one of the casuals become Something More®). Ultimately, poly people are often very different— especially from each other! There is no one best way to do poly. There is no Poly Orthodoxy (no Poly Inquisition). This, to my mind is a Good Thing™. Each of us holds a unique, individual model of relationships. As we go through this life, we hopefully find others whose models are compatible with our own (one of the difficulties of having no orthodoxy to fall back upon). The differences among us, and efforts to understand them, are some of they key challenges of poly. But in seeking to understand others, we also understand more about ourselves. By touching (and being touched by) varied lives, whether as committed lovers or friends-with-benefits, we are enriched. This is, to me, one of the greatest gifts of poly. No doubt, despite my efforts, something above will be unclear. Please feel free to ask for clarification.
Current Mood:  tired
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