Brian

I love checking my email from a few profiles I have online here and there, especially when the message is as enjoyable as this:



Hmm...smells like a google spanish-english translation to me? Or perhaps this is how I sound in Spanish, doing the 3am deadhead thing mistakenly translating some phrases word for word?

pero tengo una pregunta...quien es el hombre misterioso Mike? talvez....nos vamos a ver!

"...back from shanta claus city...."

Happy B'day baby jesus!

Stephen and I saw the Dina Martina Christmas show last night at Re-bar. Dina was swellandgreat! The medley of Bowie classics done Dina style hit me hard in the funny bone. The cozy confines of re-bar were a much better match for Dina than the cavernous stage at On The Boards last year. Even better than the show itself was meeting up with many friends before and after the show. A young woman in a cheesily recently ex-stylish gray fedora sat at the end of the bar. We pretended it was Brittany checking up on the local talent. She seemed a bit mystified at the mysterious power of Dina. I prayed that Dina would find her and mess with her pretty over-makeup'd face, but it didn't happen. Sigh.

Stephen and Scott (check out the article on him in the Stranger this week! yip yip yip!) gave Dina one of the penlight/fm radios that we got from the Muckleshoot Casino recently. As the TKDream crew can attest to - casino freebies are always a classy choice for the loved ones on your list.

Speaking/writing of classy gift-giving:
My new purple bathrobe hangs on the door. I suppose I can show my Husky pride by wearing it out while checking the mail or putting the recycling on the curb. Is my family trying to tell me something with this color choice? Perhaps its time we had that talk.
A bag full of new and unlikely to ever be worn clothes sits at the foot of my bed. I can add it to the bags in the closet from last year. Despite my pleas for 'no more clothes', I could outfit a small Peruvian village with JC Penney's men's casual wear received from my family in the last few years. I really should donate it all, but some strange 'christmasgiftguilt' sets in anytime I set about removing the lot.

Add in all the family insanity, and I am exhausted. When did Christmas become such a drag?

"...like the shoreline of a lake..."

Now that I am back working fulltime, and back destroying the world by commuting alone in my petrolmobile, 'The Natural Bridge' has become my current to and from work accompaniment du jour. Some notes:
I have the Tennessee single tacked onto the end. It is kind of a jarring transition. DCB sounds different in many ways.
Singing along to "Pretty Eyes" with all my might, is oddly sweeter while crossing the floating bridge after work.
Sometime in the past few years I completely lost my shame for singing along while driving. Even on the Eastside. I used to feel considerably more self-conscious singing/emoting aloud while driving through Medina than Wallingford. It made no rational sense - something about the presence of Land Rovers and SLKs with handsome brokers inside...
Love affairs with albums are way better than with love affairs with people.

Of course it is waythehell too soon, but I am already beginning to feel defeated by retail work (again). Although I have not begun my 'real' job search in earnest, I am sickly afraid I will be stuck working retail forever, straddling the dull side of the poverty line for a long long time. Without any kids (that I know of! --- hee buh dum shee!) , and without even a nicotine addiction, I feel like it wouldn't be very difficult for one to slip into "the working poor". Where is Barbara Ehrnreich when I need her? Mix in some mounting debt, and a peachy mix of self-loathing and self-doubt, and it is pretty easy to get discouraged.
I actually enjoy a good chunk of what I do, it is just too bad that the nature of most retail positions include low pay and a lack of benefits.

The new year looks to bring a bountiful harvest of rock shows in Seattle....I quickly scanned the Stranger the other day and saw ads for shows from the Super Furries, Modest Mouse, the Shins and more. C'mon get aboard the indierock train! Choo Choo!

Last night I had a dreamt that I was in a New York-esque city and I was desperately trying to find somwhere to spend the night. I was looking through cramped and sweaty hostels for a spare bed. All of the hostels had rooftop hot tubs. A few of the hot tubs were filled with attractive european backpackers. I figured if I could find a hostel without a rooftop hot tub, they might have room for me. Meanwhile I stood at Columbus-esque Circle trying to cross the street. for a long long long time.

---- Reminiscent of the time I landed in London with nowhere to stay....
....and when I arrived in Dublin a few days later...St. Patrick’s...with no arranged accommodations....
.... that was a long-ass night.

ah youth....

we are all doomed

It is a beautiful sunny morning.

A little voice chimes "welcome back to live journal, you lazy fuck!"

There is really no good explanation for my lj absence, other than the aforementioned lazy streak, and a nasty case of "senioritis" that has made my last full quarter at the UW a enormous challenge. In the end, my failure to maintain this blog regularly became a tiny and sad casualty to my lack of routine and discipline over the past few months.

I go back to work full-time tomorrow. For the first time in over a year. Life on student loans and financial aid has made me dense and slothlike, and it is only the prospect of dipping into the last $100 of my total assets that I am somewhat eager to be returning to the numbing routine of regular early morning wakeups and long hours serving the eastside's more fortunate. How long that sentiment will last is up for debate. Call me after the blistering storm of customers that will (hopefully) make the next week(s) an interesting exercise in patience, and maintaining enthusiasm for the world of retail - photographic world style. I will have mediocre pay, and steady, not-boring work for as long as I want it at the camera shop, but I need to begin the search for a "real" job in earnest once the new year has struck. The challenge will be to not lose my excitement for finding a GIS/geography related position once the paychecks and 45+ hour malaise strike. After living for some while on $800 a month or less, how will the sudden doubling of cash flow affect my post-college life?

I am struggling to deal with all of the "now that I am done with school, who am I?, what the hell do I do now?" questions. Lots of changes are likely in store, good and bad, and as exciting as that is, I don't always look forward to change.

I dreamt last night of skiing in deep snow and fog in between granitic outcrops. with my old friend Justin b. and his younger sister Julia. We rode a chairlift that took us higher and higher, then up and over a deep chasm between two snowpillow covered ridgelines. Down far far below was an 8 lane freeway jammed with cars. That confused us. Which resort were we at anyways? After chairlift crossing chairlift for the second time we were let down on sweet groomed corduroy fall lines with fresh snow atop. We decided that we were at Mammoth mountain, CA. It made sense, and we headed down, carving turns in the sodium light of the evening.

I woke up drooling, and with the feeling of those turns still in my body. My first skiing dream in awhile, and one of the cool ones where all the feelings and sensations I love about skiing somehow manifested themselves in my skull last night. The pressure on leg and knee and ankle pressed to the fore of the boot carving big GS turns. Wind and blown hoarfrost on my cheeks and nose. The sharp, surprisingly powerful smell of cold snow.

Perhaps I am rediscovering my love for skiing, which has lain dormant now for several years.

I haven't skied in awhile now. 0 days last year. Maybe 1 or 2 the year before that. Down from a high of 60+ or so in ski racing days and nights. Long ago now. School, foreign travel ( I spent the 2001 ski season in not so wintry Guatemala), and a serious lack of funds coupled with the escalating ticket prices at area resorts all played a role. But I got myself a cheap subscription to Powder Magazine this fall and it must be infiltrating my brain. I suddenly miss the shitty wet snow at Alpental, brown bag lunches in the basement of the Crystal mtn. lodge, and that sleepy hourlong drive back home after a full day of skiing at the pass, body feeling tired and great. With a fulltime job allowing for some extras, I hope to return to the slopes this season, and that my new found joy for skiing will inspire me to get my schoolbloated body back into skiracing shape.

I just went to http://www.hellyhansen.com and you should too...
they are giving away a free ski/boarding DVD movie called "Lifted". I am sure all of the riders are wearing H/H gear, as they jump out of helicopter or pull some "sick air". but .... I guess I am willing to trade my soul for a free hour or so of that.

( here is some quickie inspiration )

Damn! Why do the good ones have to go? Why does creativity hook itself in with destruction sometimes?
Ach. Argh.

Both Either/Or and XO as well as Heatmiser's last disc played important roles in my life for a time. Helped to soothe my end-of-high-school/first-year-of-college blues.
Lots of good and sweet road-trip memories with Elliot onboard.
Memorable nights in bars or apartments in Bellingham or Seattle or Portland with an Elliot Smith accompaniment.
We would all sing out (with passion) "fucking oughtta stay the hell away from things you know nothing about" when the band kicks in around 2:24 on the favorite "Everybody Cares Everybody Understands". Sentiments that we could all find common ground with. Two albums with which we could all sing along to the entire disc.

Annie and I both were immensely in love with the song "Bled White" from XO. That song made its way onto several mix CDs and compilations passed between us.

I think I will go give it a few spins.

I woke up at 8:30am this morning after sleeping for....hmm....let's seee.....carry the one, subtract that,mumble,mumble...hmm...hmm....
for 14 hours! I got this big ball 'o' energy in my chest right now, I need to go outside and let it out!

There is a dog named Toby running around outside the house. I can hear the frustrated owner quietly saying, (in a very defeated voice) "come on Toby, ...come on".

Grin.

Back in the computer lab in Odegaard. Just like old times. Groovy. Trying to finish some work I should have done weeks ago. Sigh. I hope I never leave.

I just got in from a long walk up and down the ave. It was cold out. "I can see my breath" cold. "I wish it would snow" cold. "Wish I had a phatass down parka with a fur trim " cold. "I wish that handsome fellow in the black Audi A8 would give me a ride" cold. maybe not that cold. Before that I had pho at the always-wonderful Than bros. I sat under the fluorescents and read the Stranger, drank my iced-frenchcoffee (oohh!) and closed the place out with a medium bowl -- bean sprouts and lots of mint leaves. I got a little thrill from being the last person in there. The staff was extremely friendly and didn't mind if I stayed around while they closed up. My glasses steamed up again and again from the brothy chicken noodly goodness!
Although I missed having Ben or Annie or Jamie (among others) along for the non-occasion, I really enjoyed taking myself out tonight. I forget how enjoyable my very own company can be: personable, never rude, a delightful conversationalist, relaxed, and almost never violent. I gotta take myself out more often. ;)
The Ave. was a treat tonight as well. Fairly well populated, with all sorts. A good mix for people-watching and furtive ogling. I did both. 1 1/2 words for yous:... mini-mohawks. Yum. Grrrrr...

While strolling the cold and edgyfeeling-yet-hotness-filled streets tonight I thought:
I should form a guerilla punk/spazcore/pop that only plays cover versions of songs from "Jem and the Holograms". I think I have had this idea a few times before, but I think its gotta happen. Perhaps it has been done? I am sure it has. In Chapel Hill or Portland or Brighton or Melbourne or somewheres. I think we should include the "Misfits" songs too. "we are the misfits, are songs are better. we are the misfits we're gonna get her!" I was imagining screaming "rock and roll forever" ( a classic Holograms rocker ) to a grinding nasty fast synth punk beat. As most of their songs are less than 45seconds, this could be a really fun 10 minute ( or less ) set. " I believe in Happy endings " would be a sure hit as well.
"tell me I'm crazy,
maybe I know,
but I believe in happy endings"
and on it goes...35 seconds of brilliant 80's cartoon pop smarts. Well, its not THat good but...

good nuf.

speaking/writing of music, good, bad and otherwise...

lots of shows coming up! all of a sudden. I haven't been keeping up!:

Here is this weekend's possible Crocodile special trifecta:

++Saturday the 11th - The Ruby Doe @ the Crocodile. Can I be ready to rawk out after attending a wedding earlier in the evening?
++Sunday the 12th - Gorky's Zygotic Mynci @ the Crocodile. (fuck! how did I almost miss this!)
++Monday the 13th - Kinky @ the Crocodile. (yum yum mexican indie-altrawk). Missed them at Bumbershoot.
----******wait no scratch that. Kinky is playing at Chop Suey. Even better!----*******

then:
Friday the 17th - Grandaddy @ the Showbox. With hottness on stage will the crowd be as well?
Saturday the 18th - Grandaddy @ the Aladdin (Portland softieville rawktrip!)

Two words for the Grandaddy shows: Trucker-Indie.

or there is always: Logger-Indie.

lots more shows coming down the bigrawkbandtube after that! I love fall!

okay. I ought to get to work now. Ought. Glad I brought those m+m's so I can now procrastinate a bit more while deciding which color to eat.

more techy news:

um....6-9million by end of 2004? What are they smoking up thar in Nokia Land?

Looks like an old Atari Lynx had a wild night with a young - but stupid 3586i. Lots of morning after regrets and an awkward goodbye. The old Atari Lynx says to the 3586i "I'll call you".

We all know how that one ends.

Sigh.

another fear for those already scared:

...said the Gorky's. An excellent album I need to revisit....

more fun from my evening of scanning. It was fun to get into a little rhythm....and great to get the scanner all set-up and configured on the new hdd - new os. It's humming along "like a mothaf'n champ!"

As Ben (benshan) can attest, I am running about a year behind. A year behind in projects and lots of things.
So keeping tight on my latey-ate schedule: here are some Ben-approved pics from the 2002 (yeah....2002!) Portland Marathon. --- Jamie (jamieh), Annie (marlak), and I went down to cheer Ben on. Hopefully I will have some pics from THIS years marathon up next week.

( click for the pics.... )

Tuesday night and the feeling's right.

Sort of.

Well actually, it's not really right at all.

I am tired. Feeling overcast. So to punish-myself/reward-myself spent the evening cleaning my room, unearthing forgotten treasures and misplaced bills. Traveling so frequently over the past few weeks has taken a toll on my already feeble organizational skills. It all looks spiffy now, much more room to breathe. No fear of toppling precarious paper piles or crunching headphones underfoot while rushing to get to class.
After improving my living situation immensely, I decided to "play" with my scanner. I bought myself an Epson 2450 Perfection Photo about a year ago (now replaced by the also excellent 3200 perfection photo). It is really a fantastic scanner, but I rarely turn it on these day. I figure I should start to use it again. While cleaning my closet "photo area" (aka tripod stash land) I found a small box of slides from one of my western U.S. road trips 2000, 2001. I think the box was originally intended to be "throwaways" but of course I didn't label it, and it is hard to tell from what's inside. I have thousands of slides, from such trips, and adventures further afield to Central America, Europe etc. I like to think I have a handful of really good ones in that, but hardly anyone has ever seen 'em. I ought to edit the mess down and throw some up on a web gallery, but I have a tough time throwing any of my slides away, even if they are not "worthy" photographically. I suspect that this tiny box was my pathetic attempt to cull my collection. There is maybe 15 slides in the box.

There are a few slides in the box that I will probably toss. They have been forgotten for several years now. Not much connection there. But there are a few others that are "marginal" and I will probably keep 'em around.

Here is one that I think I will keep:
Taken mid-November 2000. Looking towards the La Sal mountains from somewhere in the middle of Canyonlands National Park - Utah. I have a whole series of the sunset from my little almost-icy vantage point, looking both west and east. In the opposite direction was a wall of minaret shaped rock forms, all dusted with snow. When the sun fell beneath the ridge behind me it got really cold really fast. Then I started thinking of marauding cougars/mountain-lions looking for photodork bait.
(Canon A2, kodak E100vs) (apologies for the bad jpeg compression....)

Click here for the pic.

Perhaps I will be inspired to start scanning more of my stuff. Perhaps after I finish with school in December. Might as well, it is just sitting now....so lonely...so dark and afraid....

I am listening to ....guess who?

on my new superspecial Sennheiser PX-200 headphones. They need to be broken in a bit, but they sound really great already! Very comfy, fairly good isolation and they even fold up into a nifty hardcase. I listened for hours and hours last night and unlike my old Sony MDR-V100 crapmonsters, my ears never got sweaty or fatigued. I am moving my way up that great big audio ladder in the sky. Next step? Some big ol' rock'n'roll cans: Grados maybe? Something for recording/mastering purposes?
Thanks to the good natured golden-eared folk over at Head-Fi for steering me in the right direction.

Looks like they are still running a good price at Ecost.

Sing it Bruce: Lost but not forgotten.

I particularly dislike automatic flush toilets that flush automatically before one is finished. "Hey...I wasn't finished yet!".
A sudden, and disturbing disruption to a bathroom reverie to be sure.
The first floor restrooms in Mary Gates Hall sure look nice, but be careful!

back from a great trip.

utterly exhausted.

full report later. pics sometime later.

Fall Quarter at the UW begins in a few short hours. I got off the plane at Sea-Tac today thinking: "wait. what I am taking again?" I couldn't remember. I have had few thoughts of school for several weeks.

Campus is sure to be buzzy and busy today. New blood/meat for the University grinder.

So young, like cheeky little babies!

I am writing on the "HotelTV Internet".
--- basically a cheaper WebTV with direct links to "premium" adult sites.

Bored businessmen need to be entertained, right?

Today was a great day! Biking through and across Golden Gate Park was a highlight. The Castro was both hilarious and a little disappointing.

We saw the SanFrancisco Symphony tonight. I know very little about classical music but enjoyed myself immensely. The people watching was super. (who is wearing too much mascara?, where else could one see grizzly guys in full leather gear next to prada wearing dom drinkers?)
We had fantastially great seats, comped from a friend. 8th row in the front orchestra section. Combined with a stay at the Palace, this makes the trip seem ultra-extravagant for a student-loan ridden undergrad.
The performance was great.
I had forgotten how incredibly moving hearing/seeing a live classical performance can be. There is definitely something magical about the organic production of dense and mesmerizing layers of sound by fellow humans yards away. As the show progressed I found myself nodding in time with the conductors baton. I felt like the music was beating against my veins in waves.

The second half of the evening was Mahler's Symphony No. 4 in G major. It was being recorded live for a future CD release. This only added to the pressure of silence that a classical work demands. I tried not to breathe too hard. Which in combination with the sounds produced on stage was rather meditative.

Of course, despite the many many posted signs, the warning in the program, and the friendly but serious warning from the conductor to please be absolutely silent,... during the third section, a slow and (mostly) quiet, very beautiful and moving passage...a cell phone went off in the rows ahead of us. It rang, and, rang, and then rang again. suddenly the conductor - Michael Tilson Thomas stopped the players, and spun around furiously on the podium. He gave us all a very expaserated, and angry glare that said "you all are a very bad audience and you will be very lucky if I decide to continue". Thankfully, he went on, albiet with a brief pause to hush the murmur in the astonished crowd. I wanted to cheer him on! Hurrah! Hopefully the stupid idiot will be so mortified that they will jump into the bay later tonigh. Well...at least throw their cell off into the deep.
allright,

more to come!

I am off to San Francisco until Sunday afternoon. Yip Yip Yip!

okay. I agree it has been way too long.

Done in between packing and laundry....

here are pictures from last years Bumbershoot (2002).

(my apologies for the shitty color and the dust ridden, staticy nature of the images)

( click for the pics! )

I just saw a huge f'n spider crawling on the wall. I tried to smack it dead with my hand, but it slipped free and fell under the bed. Uh... sleep? hmm...

I am going to San Francisco tomorrow. Hooray.
As long as United doesn't decide to throw in the towel sometime this morning. Hey. Who knows?

See, there was this one time I was supposed to fly on National Airlines and...

I was all set for a relaxing romp before school starts, until I found out the Folsom Street Fair is this weekend. Shit. I am afraid I will be unable to avoid seeing nasty old leather dudes all over. Argh. Oh well, I am confident that the people watching will be most excellent.

One of the toes on my left foot is seriously f'd up right now after a nasty run-in with my chair earlier this evening. I really need to get a digital camera so I can share the puffy purple black melange where a happy pink toe used to be. As I am sure that people would enjoy seeing it. Hey, maybe there is a fetish out there for people who are into bruised/injured toes. Anything is possible, right? I am gonna go buy http://www.bruisedtoe.com

Reminds me of Lost in Translation.

Sigh. If only I had busted my toe on a chair in the Tokyo Park Hyatt.

If only.