jess

12/7/04 11:50 am - fire in the Loop

Fire in the Chicago Loop injured 37.

[source: CNN]

It occured last night in the LaSalle Bank building, 29th floor. I work on the 29th floor of our building. We had a fire here last month, but it wasn't this severe. I didn't hear about this until I got into work this morning, but the image up top is so frightening. That's the one thing that makes me nervous about working and living in highrises, the fires.

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12/6/04 10:21 pm - A Home at the End of the World

Lily was curious, so here we go.

Title: A Home at the End of the World
Rating: R
Starring: Collin Farrell, Robin Wright Penn, Sissy Spacek
Rating (1 - 10): 8.5, because it was touching without making me cry

A Home at the End of the World is, unlike its sister* The Hours, is not depressing. It isn't bleak. When the credits roll, you don't feel as though your heart has been ripped out. It made me smile. I felt uplifted. Now I feel inspired to write for hours. I'm sad my poetry notebook is at home. I'll have to initiate the blank notebook.

* Michael Cunningham wrote both books.

I rented this film because the guy I met at Alexander (my 2nd, his 4th) recommended it as another facet of Colin Farrell's career. Colin played Bobby, a kid who loses his family at a young age and has to deal with it. Spacy but fabulous. Once again, I was suitably impressed with Mr. Farrell. He's got incredibly soulful eyes, and he can look so soft and strong at the same time. I like his delivery, for the most part, despite how many times his character had to use the word "man." And what I found most compelling about this performance was how he played a bisexual character and truly looked as comfortable and loving with both genders.

Robin Wright Penn (aka The Princess Bride) is lovely as Claire. I am always so impressed with the way Robin blends seamlessly into a role. You don't watch her and think, "It's Robin!" You watch the character, and when the credits scroll past, you remember you've been watching Robin perform. That's what I love about her.

And Sissy Spacek, as always, is utterly genuine. I wanted her to be my mom the whole time I was watching.

Laugh factors included Hunter from Queer as Folk as Bobby's best childhood friend (he's good! it just made me laugh from recognition); Colin's hair pre-haircut (and people thought the blond Alexander look was bad!); and the line "It's just love," which reminded me way too much of a certain "Love is love, man" from Rave Macbeth. But overall, dialogue was plausible, acting solid, characters interesting, and story very touching.

Made my top five favorites. I'll be picking up a copy of this. But first, I'm rewatching before bed.

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12/6/04 08:12 pm - the following preview has been approved for all audiences

It's amazing how pissed I get when I'm hungry and frustrated at the same time. I went and bought food and rented A Home at the End of the World, which I'm about to watch. I realized, it's written by Michael Cunningham, who wrote The Hours. Based on that alone, I was going to buy this without having seen it if the video store had it for sale, but they just had it for rent.

Now that I'm home, warm, and have food, I'm much better.

In other news, they've got a new $9.95 a month for unlimited movie rentals. I'm so signing up for it the minute I remember to cancel Rhapsody. I'm such a film junkie.

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12/5/04 10:46 pm - six months gone by, and I feel so grown up

I am now the proud owner of a three-cushion tan leather sofa and matching chair, and one white coffee table with lots of storage space. My condo looks so sophisticated now. They're so comfortable, and they contrast well with the brightly colored walls as they're neutral. I draped my deep orange & green wrap skirt I bought in Mexico over the side chair, and the silk-like Chinese pillows on the couch. I can't wait to show the whole place off once I have it rearranged and looking beautiful. The second half is still trashed, but I'm tired right now and not really in the mood to decorate.

That whole going-to-buy-food thing never happened, so I've no idea what I'm going to do for lunch tomorrow. I suppose I could have lunch with my coworkers and attempt to be civil. Oh! I know. I'll have the sandwich I didn't eat Friday. Amazing how long bread and peanut butter can go without spoiling.

Right. So that's solved. I'm going to heat up my leftovers have vanilla yogurt right now and eat them as I'm once again starving

Audrey was in town this weekend, and she and I had dinner tonight at Su Casa, then came back to my condo and talked talked talked through Velvet Goldmine and an episode of Justice League. It is always so rewarding to speak with someone about writing who understands characters that get inside your head and dictate their own lives or go silent for months, then start spewing lines at you. We also talked about Smallville and how insipid Lana is, and about how Clark and Lex are very meant-to-be, and how tragic characters are always more alluring.

In other news, I'm now watching Tangled. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is exceptionally good at American accents, and still one of the most beautiful people in the entire world, and my crush on him is apparently still in full swing. He should always wear partially unbuttoned blue shirts.

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12/2/04 09:37 am - when coworkers dictate

So basically, it comes down to the fact that if I don't ask you what you think about my hair, I don't care what you think about my hair. And if I want to grow it back out again, that's my business, isn't it.

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11/26/04 11:23 pm - Alexander.

I just came from seeing Alexander. It did such a number on me, I can't even describe it. I feel like my insides were torn out. I felt like I was somehow seeing a part of myself on screen. I've been so sick ever since it ended, and I wish I could've just sat and cried in the theatre for a while after it was over.

My mom said, It was just a film. Why are you letting it upset you?

I reminded her that she cried for a whole afternoon after she finished reading LotR.

I came out of the theatre with my eyes red and shining and my heart aching because the love was THERE and it was HUGE and it was GORGEOUS and I remembered why there is nothing better in the world than being in love with someone and being willing to do anything. And I realized right then that I would do anything.

I should work on my book right now, but I think I need to go to try and sleep. I don't feel well and keep crying when I think too much on the film, and my mom thinks I've just lost it and doesn't understand how I liked the movie at all. And I did. I loved it. I loved it. I want to go and see it again before it leaves theatres, I want the DVD when it's released, and I want to be loved like that.

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11/21/04 05:26 pm - because cabs practically run you over until you need one, and then they're *gone*

From the Book of Murphy, chapter 8, verses 7-10.

7. And thus, Satan spake, saying, "Let there be no taxi cabs so that they who return from the Shedd Aquarium might shake with cold and have their ears turn red and their fingers lose feeling in mine sight."

8. And the two girls froze, and their fingers turned white, and their ears turned red, and they shook with cold as they walked up Columbus Avenue.

9. Emily, daughter of William, who was begot of Donald, who was begot of Gunar, who was begot of Swan John, who was begot of somebody in Sweden, raised her hand and said, "Let us cross the road."

10. And so it was done, and a taxi slowed along the sidewalk, and the girls climbed inside and were driven home. Amen.


In other news, I have a seahorse Christmas tree ornament and no tree upon which to hang it.

The Setup of Doom is in an hour. Emmy has made a green pistachio salad with marshmallows and coolwhip to take with us because she's thoughtful and I'm not.

Also, I'm cold.

Also, I don't want to go.

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11/15/04 10:45 pm - just go ahead now

Ordinarily I'd stick this over in morphing with the rest of the song lyrics, but it's just so *happy*.

Two Princes
Spin Doctors

One, two, princes kneel before you
(that's what I said, now)
Princes, Princes who adore you
(Just go ahead, now)
One has diamonds in his pockets
(that's some bread, now)
This one, he wants to buy you rockets
(Ain't in his head, now)

This one, he got a princely racket
(That's what I said, now)
Got some big seal upon his jacket
(Ain't in his head, now)
Marry him, your father will condone you
(how bout that, now)
Marry me, your father will disown you
(he'll eat his hat, now)

Aww, marry him or marry me,
I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?
Ain't got no future or a family tree,
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be,
I know what a prince and lover ought to be....

Said, if you want to call me baby
(Just go ahead, now)
An' if you want to tell me maybe
(Just go ahead, now)
If you wanna buy me flowers
(Just go ahead, now)
And if you want to talk for hours
(Just go ahead, now)

[from SpinDoctors.com]

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11/15/04 09:58 pm - This really didn't go the way I thought it would.

conversation reconstructed from memory

me: ...was okay, I mean, it's a job. And I'm behind on NaNo, but I'll catch up, and by the way, I'm going to England in March!

mom: [giggling] You're what?

me: I'm going to England! I decided yesterday!

mom: That's so exciting!

me: I know!

mom: I love England! I always said I could live in England!

me: Emmy told me I should move there.

mom: What?

me: I think she's trying to get rid of me.

mom: Where are you going?

me: Southampton.

mom: Oh, but you have to travel! You have to see [insert lots of places here that I cannot remember].

me: I'll do that another time! This won't be the only time I'm ever there. Anyway, we have plans to watch lots of movies.

mom: But you have to see things!

me: We're going to London for a day. I've been promised we can go to a real pub!

mom: [random squeeage]

me: And I'm going to stay with Lydia.

mom: That's so wonderful!

me: ...you're not paranoid about me going there alone and staying with people I've never met.

mom: No! That's fantastic!

me: ...

.

Says the woman who freaks out if I walk home alone from the Hancock building, which is ten minutes away on foot down an incredibly safe stretch of the city.

( in which I continue to be madly excited )

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11/14/04 02:05 pm

I was getting ready to go grocery shopping and got distracted by a bright red light on my poor laptop.

Hewie's battery has officially died. It is no more. It won't even take a charge. If he comes unplugged, he shuts off immediately. So I ordered him a new battery that will get here in the middle of next week.

This is actually a good thing, because now I'll be able to take him down to Starbuck's or over to Sue & Rod's so that I won't have to handwrite my NaNo on which I'm getting severely behind anyway.

.

There is a cloud cover over the sky. It looks like winter outside. I was hungry a while ago, but I'm not hungry anymore. Down below, a horse carriage is going past. I can hear the clip clop clip, and it makes me think of summers in New Jersey.

Manda called this morning. Brendan is home. He's smoking a lot of pot and drinking a lot of alcohol, but he apparently told her, "It's always been you" which is the most romantic thing ever, and I wonder how she got so lucky. Only, not so lucky, really, as he lives in California now and they never get to see one another.

It's getting colder every day. I haven't turned the heat on yet because I'm trying to save on electricity. I'm sitting by the window, and the cold is radiating from it. I should put on a sweater. I should put on a coat and go buy food.

There are two crows diving around on the top level of the parking garage next door. I've never wanted to fly.

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11/13/04 10:15 pm - to hell and back again

I've been banished to the Sixth Level of Hell! I'm so proud.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Go on. You know you want to.

.

In other news, I've got some weird makeup on (read: LOTS of eyeliner and bloodred lipstick) because I was experimenting for the black tie event I'm going to with Emma next weekend. Experimentation got out of hand. Have now passed into rave realm. I really need a dress. I've been working on the pushups. Arms are looking really good. Collarbones are looking exceptionally good. Stomach is looking seriously great, only that won't be showing. Even so! Always nice to be albe to look in the mirror and be really pleased with progress.

It's 10:12 at night and I forgot to eat dinner. I kept eating my pumpkin cookies all day & it slipped my mind. I think I'll have some chili, then turn in, wake up early & NaNo, as we all know I didn't do enough of that today.

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11/13/04 02:22 pm - where, oh, where has my little angst gone?

There is, without question, something extremely wrong with me.

The other afternoon, I saw people kissing on the sidewalk and thought, "Aww! That's so cuuuute."

Of the five film titles currently on my holiday wish list, three contain the word "wedding" or "bride."

Last night, after coming home from work, I sang along with Celine Dion for two hours and found myself lamenting that I didn't own Titanic because I was really in the mood to watch it.

And this morning, I cried for twenty minutes straight during Four Weddings & A Funeral (which is one of the titles on the list, omg) when Michael gave the funeral speech.

What happened to my angst?

.

I just baked pumpkin cookies. This is also the first time I've realized you can eat pumpkin straight from the can. Well, color me happy! I'm going to be buying more canned pumpkin from now on and eating it with dinner.

The cookies are perfect. I didn't even burn them.

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11/11/04 09:07 pm - it's warm in here, but I'm still cold.

I'd been talking to Lyd for a couple of hours, and I kept *swearing* there was something moving around to the left of my keyboard. But I wrote it off as a trick of the light because I had the TV on at the time and it does cast shadows.

After she went off to sleep, I finally looked closely, and there was a freaking little spider sitting on top of my DVD remote. She's afraid of spiders, so I decided it was a sign. I don't know what it's a sign of, exactly, but I still say it's a sign anyway.

I flicked it, and it went flying, and now I can't find it, so it's probably lurking around the carpet somewhere (which it sadly happens to match). Good thing I'm not afraid of them. I just don't like them *on* me.

.

Today was good. Stupid, but good. I got a lot of writing done, but it depressed me, and now I'm just feeling kinda blah. I had a chocolate rice cake with peanut butter, and then I had cereal. Now I want to go snuggle up and go to sleep, only I thought maybe I'd read some stories for a bit first. I think I'll go to bed early, though.

I think I'm being set up next weekend. I'm glad Emmy will be here to defend me. I'd really like to make some friends here in the city, but the idea of being set up for possible future romantic interest makes my stomach turn. I'm so happy just as I am right now. I don't want anybody else. I don't know how to make people understand that.

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11/11/04 12:11 am - outside, the sky is a dark peach.

So there are a few questions going through my head.

1) Should I go to The Sound Bar with Joe & co. after the firm party in December?

Pros: Never been to a club. Club has a reputation of being fabulous and upscale. We're getting a VIP room and open bar. It's just down the street from me.

Cons: Never been to a club. Would be there with work people. Have been trying to kick that alcohol thing in the name of calories. Don't really have clubbing clothes.

2) Am I ever gonna finish my NaNo?

Based on last year's performance, I'm guessing yes, definitely. It'll just be one hell of a final week to get to the 50k required. Wah.

3) If Smallville annoys me so much, why do I keep watching?

Because it's like watching a carwreck? And yeah, I admit, I still watch for the Clex. Yes, I'm shallow. There isn't any depth here. I'm all about The Gay.

4) Why am I watching the In Da Club video by 50 Cent?

We gonna party like it's your birthdaaaaaaay. This reminds me of the My Band video. I have a feeling that if I were drunk, I'd love this song. But right now I'm going, eh.

Also, the answer is, because I'm too lazy to change the channel.

5) Why do I have an intense desire to read an Alan/Billy story before I go to sleep?

Because they're calm and domestic and quietly happy and remind me of me? I don't know. But I'm going to read some, then crash.

.

Weeks go by so much faster now that I have a job. The individual days drag, but I can't believe it's *November* already. I remember last November. And now it's THIS November. I'll be 23 soon! I'm trying to wrap my mind around that.

The Yahoo chime sounded on a commercial just now and I thought Lyd was awake again for some reason! Now that's conditioning. <3

I am so happy. Like, deliriously happy. I walk around in a daze half the time and I smile. I feel it like it's coming from my core and just spreading out to the rest of me. Like I'm just bursting with it. And I keep waiting for it to fizzle and for everything to go back to the way it used to be, only it just keeps getting *better*. I really hope it stays that way.

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10/25/04 11:27 pm - quote

"I mean, doing a ho-down wouldn't be the first thing to come to mind if that happened! I think a striptease would come before ho-down."

niiicolaaa, on Ashley Simpson's SNL messup

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10/23/04 06:19 pm

So I just got back from the grocery store. I said I'd spend about $40 on things, and I spent about fifteen cents under. Not bad! A nice man talked to me in the soup aisle for a minute about Campbell's oyster soup, and there was a little pink screaming baby in the elevator on the way back. It was gorgeous out, warm as it's been in weeks, and the sun is only now beginning to set. The lights are coming on in the city, and it's starting to sparkle the way it always does at night.

I bought cinnamon room spray, so now my little house smells SO pretty, which is a great mood lifter. I also bought vanilla scented oil, which is plugged in across the room & making me mellow. I'm eating hummus, which is oh-so-good, and sitting in silence for a while as I try to finish up a little project. And then I think I'll watch a movie or something as I'm feeling much better than I was an hour ago.

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10/23/04 04:48 pm - but at least the sun is out.

It isn't a bad day. It just isn't a particularly good day, either.

It rained all morning, but now the sun is out. There a large cloud passing overhead and a plane just flew behind the John Hancock building. It hasn't been this pretty outside in a week. We've had grey skies every day. It's a nice change.

I had dinner last night with my uncle and Don & David. David has to be in his forties, and he's incredibly conservative and (I've been told) obnoxious about details. But he made me laugh, and I had a good time out with everyone even though Bett and my aunt were at the other Pizano's across town due to a mishap in communication. I'm sad for him, because he and his fiancee broke up a couple of months ago, just before their wedding. So it was nice that he joined us & got out of his condo.

This day has moved so slowly, yet when I look at the clock, time is gone. I did manage to rearrange one section on my website, and I'm working on a birthday story for annexia_lex that is actually proving to be a lot of fun. I think I might have it done this afternoon, which would be excellent, since I've got many things I'd like to get done this weekend. If I can shake this mood. I hate feeling like this.

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8/26/04 01:32 pm - !!!

I was starving and thought I might pass out if I didn't go to lunch soon when Cathy brought me herb-crusted (minus the "h", Lyd) salmon and risotto in this fabulous cream sauce, and OMG, it is the best thing I've ever tasted.

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8/25/04 11:54 am - quick update.

I don't mean to complain because I like my job most of the time. But the women in this department, they make me feel like I'm not even a part of it so much of the time.

Chicago is great. I like living on my own, though it does get lonely from time to time. Writing continues to be my biggest solace -- much more fanfiction than original right now, but I think it's because what I write in fandom is (mostly) happy, and the original fiction isn't.

But at least the lawyers like me. And I've got a webdesign job for a boutique in Highland Park as well as a string of horse shows arranged for next summer.

Hoping that anyone who reads this is very well. I miss the old days of ethernet & 24-hour Livejournal.

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6/25/04 03:30 pm - and the a/c's blasting in the Windy City.

Today it's actually somewhat cold outside despite the blue sky. Jihan and I went for lunch at Chipotle's, which is McDonald's answer to fast Mexican food. My chicken burrito tastes exactly like everything I've ever eaten at Q'doba, so I feel confident Manda won't mind eating there when she visits next month. Q'doba is her favorite spot for lunch. And dinner. Basically any meal.

I love living in Chicago. Everything is so alive here, and I get so much more social interaction living in a city where I'm able to walk everywhere than when I live in an automotive-dependent city.

My job is going well. I work in legal marketing for a large law firm in downtown Chicago. I received a very warm welcome back, which I hadn't expected, and think that this will be a job I can keep for a few years before trotting off to something a little closer to what I'd like to do for a living.

Tonight, I'm going home to do Huntington's horse show over the weekend. I'm hoping it will be a bit warmer in PawPaw so that I won't have to wear gloves.

I've had a great day, but I'm feeling a little down for no reason whatsoever. I blame overeating. I'll go for hot chocolate in a moment (perk of working here!) and try to warm up. The air conditioner is right over my head and blasting me. I'm surprised I can still feel my hands.

But things are great. I closed on my condo Monday, so I am a homeowner. I'm so grateful to my dad for helping me out with that; it's amazing to walk home and know it's mine when I pass through the door. I'm going to paint the walls over the 4th of July weekend.

I hope everyone on LJ has been very well. <3

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