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Saturday, June 1st, 2002
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10:13 am - Really, one of these days I'll write a real journal entry ^^;;;;;
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| Thursday, May 30th, 2002
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3:33 pm - More quizzy things
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| Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
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6:31 am
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Ugh, my distaste for the world right now is inexplainable. Of course, that may come from just waking up, but I had an interesting evening to go with it. On the upside, it was the 2 hour Buffy finale. And Spike got his soul back! Me and my friends were NOT expecting that at all. But now Xander can't bitch him out for his relationship with Bufy!!! Yay! They better have a relationship god fucking dammit, even though he went all weird and almost tried to rape her. And they're going to make Dawn more powerful and less of a do-nothing next season, nethinks. Which would be cool. Sadly, they did not bring Tara back. I thought maybe they would and she would save Willow, but no, Xander saved Willow. Which I guess was kinda sweet if you look at it. Though she's going to have some major issues, she killed 2 people (I think it was 2). And Giles came back! Yay! I was afraid he was going to die though, really. And that would have majorly pissed me off. Now, switching notes, I saw Star Wars on Sunday!!!!!!!! OMG it was sooooooooooooooo good!!!!! SO much better than Episode 1, and rivaling the other movies say my friends, but I think its my favorite! Probably because of the Padme Anakin romance, but still. I bought the movie storybook and the movie comic since I'm so obsessed, and I've done pretty much nothing but read those since Sunday. I'm going to Virginia this weekend, so I hope I can see it again down there. Either that or I'm gonna return and go right to Crossgates. I was also so inspired to draw a picture of my two main characters dressed as Anakin and Padme. I think today I might actually draw a fanart of Ani and his lady love. I've been in such a fluffly romance mood lately, well that altrnating with pure rage and fury, but now mostly fluffy. Hm, apparently writing in his has made me feel better. Weird 0_o
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Pink - Don't let me Get Me
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| Saturday, May 18th, 2002
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3:42 pm - Just one more
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I'm Jean Grey
What X-Men Character are You?
*gag....dies* Noooooo! Last time I took this thing I was Mystique!!!!!! Not that Jean sucks or anything, and the description they gave with it does fit me. Maybe I should have chosen something other than the Hummer......
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3:10 pm - More of these stupid personality things
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Just for the record, if Sta-kun didn't keep doing these I wouldn't have any idea where to find these. So this is all her fault ^_^
Find your emotion!
You know, I thought I got over my fear thing....hmmm....
Who are YOU most like?
Noooooooooooo! Australians kill gay people!!!!!!!!!
You are 40% evil! [?]
You're more good than evil, but not by much. You've drank straight from the carton of milk in the refrigerator, and maybe kicked the neighbor's cat, but you're still good. Kinda.
*evil grin*
How Gay Are YOU? [?]
Wow computer, I congratulate you on your wonderful sense of observation.
href="http://www.sakuracardz.com/questionmark" target="_blank">
Which Kiss Are You?
i'm a bird.what kinda pet are you?
quiz made by muna.
Strange, I hate to fly.
i'm a blusher. what type of make up are you?
quiz made by muna.
Okay that doesn't surprise me, its pink lol
And Stz-kun, sorry about doing all of these after you;ve done them. They're just much fun.
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2:50 pm - Blar
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Hurrah for me, I have bronchitis >< Stupid fucking illness. Of course it hit randomly yesterday though I was fine on Thursday. Grrrrrrrrrrrness. So yeah I don't get to go see Star Wars today because of it *kicks stuff across the room* I'm so pissed off!!!!! I really wanted to go see it today! Evilness. Of course I am certain that this is my bad karma for being suck a klepto. Oh well. I'm on nice medicine and all now so I'll just have to go see Star Wars tomorrow. I have this great plan to go buy a toy lightsaber first and fight my way into the theater with it ^^^^^^^ I'm so insane, yay! Oh, I've joined three groups over the past couple of days. One is a yuri group, one's yaoi, and the other is heterosexual. Go romance! So now I have claimed Chibiusa + Hotaru, Mamoru + Fiore, and Kagetsu + Tiara. Oh and I've been in such a fluffy mood since I found out what happens between Anakin and Padme at the end of Episode 2, so I'm all in a romantic mood right now. I just wish I had a lover who would come take care of me in my diseased state. Speaking of which, I had better go get some rest. Bai bai.
-Rei
current mood:  creative
current music: Oasis - Don't Go Away
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| Friday, May 17th, 2002
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4:27 pm - More random things!
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| Tuesday, May 7th, 2002
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6:35 am - *bashes head against keyboard repeatedly*
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Answer me this, why am I so insane? Really, I am a total basketcase. See, Tara told me she loves me last night, and I of course haven't the slightest idea what to do. Yes, part of me still cares for her and yes, I only broke up with her because she was so irresponsible. But now she says she'll try to be more responsible and stop getting drunk all the time. But I know I'll just end up hurting her again. And I feel that somewhere there must be someone more suited for me, I just know there is, and that's not something to ignore. Though she treated me like a princess, that's not to be ignored either. Looks like I have a lot of thinking to do. Well, off to school.
Rei
current mood:  distressed
current music: Emerald Rose - Frey Shakti
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| Sunday, May 5th, 2002
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8:28 pm - Third entry
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I'm confused. Quite confused. I went to go see Spiderman today with Keight and during the mushy scenes I thought not of the track girl, not of Spent, not of Maria, but of the one person who I never thought would be in my heart again. I thought of Tara. I know I broke up with her because I wasn't all that attracted to her in the first place when we met, and because she's very irresponsible and that bothers me, but she treated me better than anyone ever has and she always wanted to protect me and she loved me for me without wanting anything to change. *bangs head against keyboard* What does this mean dammit? I always wanted to fall in love with another witch, that's what I want, but now I don't know. I keep on being drawn to people who don't fit my expectations. Well except for the track girl, but I doubt I'll see her again. Though I would die to. And I know nothing about Spent except that she's very boyish and three years younger than me. And Maria is a Christian, possibly a pious one, and I would not be happy with her in any case. I want to fall in love again so badly. I'm sick of being alone. Track girl's name was Jess, I imagined I'd call her Jesse, and she was just the image of everything I imagined. She was a tomboy, she was only a little taller than me, she had weird things about her that just made me so curious. ...I want to see her again. I pray to the Goddess and God with all my heart soul and body that our paths will again cross, but as of now to no avail. What am I to do? Any advice would be welcome. Too bad journals can't talk back. Oh well, I retire to my own angst.
Rei
current mood:  discontent
current music: Emerald Rose - World's Wedding/One Single Kiss
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8:22 pm
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8:14 pm
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Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.
Hehehehehehe, look at that I'm a princess! Damn right I'm a princess ^_^ Weird, cause right now I'm feeling like a very confused one.... but more on that later.
current mood:  lonely
current music: Emerald Rose - Never Underestimate
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| Friday, May 3rd, 2002
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11:05 pm - Come in and wake the people that the parson puts to sleep ^_^
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*bounces around happily to Celtic music* I had an intersting evening, if i do say so. I was invited by my friend Bev to go to this open mic thing, at this teen oriented place across from our school, so I thought I would go check it out. Of course I was not informed that it was run by the orginazation Youth for Christ >< Much fun, really. So yeah, some girls got up and sang all these church songs, and I'm sitting there trying not to bite my tongue so hard it will bleed. I felt very out of place though. By the end of it all, though I have no regrets for going, I felt kinda dirty. I dunno, I just hate Christianity and its pious ways. I really wish I had the guts to get up and sing a song for the Goddess in front of them all, I wonder what they would have done. I'll have to go again and do that. Really, I should have gotten up and been like 'Hi, my names Rachel and I'm a witch and a dyke'. *hysterical laughter* Yah, they would have loved that I bet. Just pisses me off though, so many Christians think we are Satan-worshipping whores. How can we be Satan's sluts if we don't fucking believe in anything like him?! Grrrrrrrrr >< But now I'm home and back in the love of the Goddess and God. I think I'll light a candle for them to thank them for helping me through that. Okay I should go now, I have SAT's in the morning and I really should get some sleep or something like that. Blessed be y'all ^_^
Rei
current mood:  cheerful
current music: Emerald Rose - Pagan Girl
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| Sunday, April 21st, 2002
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9:39 pm - An influx of generosity
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I've been wanting to give and give lately. Like I went shopping, and got things for some of my friends for no real reason at all. And I've actually been trying to help people willingly, like I haven't bitched at my brother for needing my help lately, and I offered to help my aunt this morning, and I wasted a good deal of time helping a friend find a karaoke version of Watashi-tachi ni Naritakute. Usually I need something in return for help and all...wow that makes me sound like a prostitute don't it? But anyway its so confuuuuuuuuuusing. Maybe its because I've been ridiculously witchy for the past week. I finally did my Self-initiation last night, so I can do spells and all now hurrah. Of course after I did it I couldn't sleep for the life of me, ended up writing a lot in my Book of Shadows and then sitting and talking to the moon. Then I finally got some sleep, only to wake up early to have to go to church. Imagine it, a witch at a Catholic service. Makes me icky sick. But i worked on my study of Runecasting today, I went and bought clay and made my own Runes. I need to buy a pouch to put them in though, and a cloth to cast them on. Then I should bless them, and I'll have to write a ritual for that, but that'll have to wait until after Beltane cause I'm not even ready for that yet! Wow, I'm gonna be a busy little bitchy witchy. Aside from that, my life goes weirdly. Apparently I made Tara so upset by breaking up with her she went and got really, really drunk and fucked one of her guy friends. I feel bad now, I wish she wasn't so miserable. And she hasn't been online for days, she better be okay dammit. You know, I keep thinking of this girl I met at one of my brother's track meets. I hope I can see her again, I liked her and i think she liked me. Okay I'm gonna go do other things. Blessed be y'all ^_^
Rei
current mood:  drained
current music: Inkubus Sukkubus - Burning Times
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| Thursday, April 18th, 2002
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11:48 pm - Never come down
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Ugh. Its way too late for me to be up. I wish i was in bed really. See, I'm trying to do too many things at once, including writing and stuff, and of course Keight as to go and need me to send her music >< Not like she cares if I'm in the middle of something. This is what I get from my friends. And I don't care if you, reader, think I'm a bitch. Cause I pretty much am. Oh by the way I broke up with Tara as well. It just didn't feel right. Call me shallow but she wasn't the kind of person I imangined myself with. Okay not shallow, picky more like it. Oh well. Of course I feel majorly guilty cause now she's considering going out with a guy just so she won't be alone, even though she knows she will never want him like that and will end up unhappy. Fuck this, it wouldn't have worked between us. She was way too irresponsible and such. Virgos and gemini's don't do well as lovers, you know. So why do I feel like its all my fault? Well it looks like I'll never find my princess charming anyway so it doesn't matter. For those of you out there who care, I made a lot of changes to my story. Go check it out if you want. You know i was supposed to do homework today? Yeah like that happened. Really I was gonna, I actually felt like it when I woke up. I just wanted to write more lol. Oooooooooh and I get to go see the Scorpion King tomorrow! I can't wait! And I get to have Sara over too YES!!!!! I really need a life. Oh guess what happened to me today too. I had to bra shopping with my mom and there was only one free dressing room so we had to share >< So humiliating! *dies* Well at least I got my prom dress. Though good god that was embarrassing. And I didn't get any new bras, so we have to go back tomorrow >< Blar. Sometimes I hate being me. Okay well this little psycho has to go pass out, so I'll update you all on my pathetic existence later. G-night.
Rei
current mood:  cranky
current music: Boy Hits Car - Before we Die
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| Sunday, April 14th, 2002
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11:53 am - The sporks are coming
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Interesting title, yes? I am so happy, considering I just woke up ^^;;;; Dude yesterday I went to the mall and got a LIFESIZE GIR PILLOW THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A LIFESIZE GIR!!!!!!!!!!!You should have seen me spazzing out like a three-year-old, clutching my Gir to my chest and skipping around the mall. People stared ^_^ Oh and then I went and saw John Q, dude that movie is so traumatizing. I cried like a fucking baby. Remind me never to go see something like that with my mother ever again. It was just like when I watched that other movie with Dad and we both ended up bawling. Anyhoo, let's see what else. Today is my brother's party and I have to clean! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! But its okay I guess and all >< And Tara's gone all weekend so I can't call her and complain *cries* But we're finally going to go out Wednesday so yay. Anyhow I had better go do things *grrrrargh* I'll be back mwahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha !
Rei
current mood:  bouncy
current music: No Doubt - Don't Speak (techno remix)
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| Friday, April 5th, 2002
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5:05 pm - !@#$%^&*
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I hate this. Every time I make a plan and it almost works it never does. FUCK THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gods I am angry right now. I think the powers that be don't want me to be happy with Tara. Or maybe someone cursed me. Cause now even though I can get to the mall and everything, she can't go because her father had to come and fucking pick her up and take her away for the weekend. Fuck. Such a great word to use in such a situation. I may as well just give up. You win powers that be. I'll let you make me miserable. Fuck you. Now I'm going to go give some more texture to the wall with my fists. Bye bye now.
current mood:  irate
current music: Rob/White Zombie - More Human Than Human
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| Tuesday, April 2nd, 2002
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6:27 am - Live for the Moment
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Duuuuuuuuuuude! I went to WWF RAW last night and I am so tired! But it was soooooooooo worth it. Of course I totally wasted my film in the beginning, but that's okay. I made a sign for Lita but she wasn't there *pouts* The Hardy's were though so yay. I got a Hardys t-shirt and though my Dad doesn't know about it, the Divas swimsuit magazine as well. *trying to look all innocent* I got it for the articles, really... The whole night would have been perfect wonderful great if not for three things: 1) Lita was not there! Grrrrr! 2) When I was standing at the suite's window watching the Hardys restle this one asshole who was pissed off about having to stand behind the bar or something was really rude about asking me to move and didn't even bother to thank me for doing it. Fucker. 3) and Raven insulted the Albany women by saying that Bubba Ray Dudley is portly like we are *fuming* Of course what made matters worse was that once he said that, all the boys in the box turned around and looked at me >< They probably expected me to explode or something. *controlled breathing, controlled breathing, there we go now* But I'm okay I swear. I had fun anyway. Of course I stood the whole time, in my heeled boots, so my feet are kinda sore. I had blisters last night like i have never had blisters before, but it didn't hurt. And yet still it was all worth it. Let's see something humerous, hmmmm oh when Kane came out it was unexpected, and you know how loud his entrance with the fire and everything is, so I jumped like ten feet and screamed. And it was great how someone would randomly shout WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and everyone would join in. Including myself ^^ It made me have this ridiculous urge to howl like a wolf, I dunno why really. I guess the 10th Kingdom still holds influence over me. Okay I am gonna go watch a music video and head out to school. Ta ta :?
Rei
current mood:  satisfied
current music: Rob Zombie - Superbeast
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| Friday, March 22nd, 2002
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10:19 am - But he had stared too long
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I hate my love life. Really I do. Its like the Gods don't want me to be happy with anyone else or something. This is my punishment for not learning how to drive yet, that's gotta be it. But even if i knew how to drive I wouldn't have a car to drive in. So Kelly and Kelly and Tara are my only sources of rides, and they don't feel like going anywhere I bet. Unless I pay Tara money and she and I and Blake just go. Cause I have to bring more than one of my friends, so I can make them go do other stuff and not tag along with me and my Tara. Funny, it doesn't seem like she's my Tara. I am her girl and everything, so that makes us girlfriends but...how can I go out with someone I have never met? Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if not for all those years pretending to love Damon. Part of me does love him but it never would have worked, its was just my projecting again. I wish I could stop growing so attached to people so quickly. Yet another of my faults. Along with my insecurity that Tara really doesn't really like me and only is going out with me cause she wants to be going out with someone. Well I guess that's Kelly's infulence, its the same problem she worries about with Chris. I really don't want to do nothing today. I miss her even though we've never been together, and I thought today I would finally see her. But it looks like that's not gonna happen after all.
current mood:  depressed
current music: Indigo Girls - Watershed
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| Monday, March 11th, 2002
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4:54 pm - Faeries should exist
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I am in the most fantastical mood right now, I'm all dreamy and thoughful-like. I am actually regaining my inspiration to draw and write. But I'd rather talk here so that can wait.
My Tara is finaly back from her weekend with her Mom. I'm so happy, I missed her so much! *ahem* Not that I'm falling for her or anything ^^; So my sucky weekend has now been redeemed. Of course she did have a fight or something with her mom, and this makes me sad, but I hope I can make it better. Or at least cheer her up. As for the rest of the weekend Chris and Kelly finally got together. I'm happy for them but I am also so incredibely jealous. And I am supposed to get my monthy bill soon, so I have been on the biggest emotional roler coaster. On a lighter note, I got a necklace to wear during my ritual work, and a new incense burner and a new CD. It was either all that or the Gir plushie, but I think Tara might get me that *happy happy* I've always wanted my significant other to get me a cuddly stuffed animal thing so I could think of them in my sleep.
Okay tonight is dinner with my Mom and bro so I have to go await them. I'll catch up with y'all later.
Rei
current mood:  mellow
current music: Future Bible Heroes - O What a Dream it Was
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| Saturday, March 2nd, 2002
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2:46 pm - Gir plushie! Gir plushie!
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WAI!!!!!!!!!!! I went to Hot Topic today and they have a GIR PLUSHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT ONE!!!!!!!!!!! Argh I have no job *cries* But mom says I can take money out of my account to get it. Now I have to wait for the next time we go to Crossgates to get it...DAMMIT!!!! But I shall get it mwahahahahahahahahaha, and whoever then tries to seperate me from my Gir plushie will be battered with sticks! I did get a new pair of slippers, black cat ones that I have aptly named Kuroneko-tachi. And Today is Jess's party so I got her a little journal from there, and a little Hot Devil keychain and a sexy guy bag from Spencer's. There's a dance at school tonight too, but I'm not going to that. Reason 1: Tara is out of town so she wouldn't have been able to come with me, reason 2: they only allow people in high school. *cries* Why does she have to be a college freshman, why? But she's coming back on Sunday night so yay ^^ Maybe then we can have an actual date. Oh on another note I am getting new glasses. Turns out that I haven't gotten a new pair since 1997 0_o And apparently my eyes are getting worse cause my contact lense perscripition is stronger. Whoops. Those should all be coming in next week or something. Let's see what else. Guys are still falling in love with me after finding out that I'm gay. Its kinda sad, all of them wish I wasn't. Is there anyway to stop that? Cause I hate breaking their hearts. Well, most of the time. I feel evil today! *flies off* Oooookay I'm gonna go write some more of my story, bai bai ^_^
Rei
P.S. To anyone who is reading this after having broken off all ties to me *coughmegancough*, stop visiting here. I have no business with you anymore. So you have no business with me. I wish you well but just stop checking on me if you hate me so much.
current mood:  giddy
current music: Initial D - Space Love
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