| Cold Shoulder, Pre-Loneliness, Cause and Effect |
[03 Jun 2004|12:08am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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"Cold, Hard Bitch" - Jet, "Criminal" - Fiona Apple |
] |
Does not get along well with others.
Sincerely, my best wishes to you.
I've chosen this road before, and it's a familiar one to me.
Just know that it's me, not you.
s p r i n g . c l e a n i n g
(probabilmente io testamento desideroso di tu.)
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| Reclusive |
[31 May 2004|01:13am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tool- "Lateralus" |
] |
Can you see?
I have no faith in it.
With time, I question if it still exists, or if it is a mere dream that I make up to pretend there is more to me.
I can con some into believing there is more under mortal skin.
But I guess I don't have to pretend.
I can just stay in bed.
A lonely existence doesn't seem too bad.
No hopes. No expectations. No time.
Just life passing by.
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| For Those Who Neglect My Other Journal.... |
[27 May 2004|08:34am] |
 Update Alert
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| Fuck |
[25 May 2004|11:31pm] |
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mood |
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 self-loathing |
] |
Just another moment I wish I never existed at all.
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| Pity Handbook? Fuck you. |
[22 May 2004|11:01pm] |
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mood |
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royally pissed off |
] |
( Read more... )
No. Fucking. Way.
You do not deserve my kindness.
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| Fed Up |
[21 May 2004|12:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
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aggravated |
] |
It's coming up to summer.
No more fighting, not even for friendships.
It is time for sleep and organizing and freshening up for August.
Do you give up? I may give the fuck up.
Fuck it.
Don't you fucking bother. I'm tired of a compliment here and indifference there.
Can I sleep through it? No. But I can fucking try.
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| Let Me Reintroduce My Lovely Assistant |
[14 May 2004|12:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 artistic |
] |
I haven't given up on this scanner.
So what if I have to readjust every picture's sharpness, and often the brightness, tint, and contrast?
So what if I just found out about gamma?
My scanner isn't the problem.
I am.
This less-cluttered atmosphere is doing wonders for my mood.
Just as long as I don't have to think about school.
As summer nears, artists start to indulge in what they've been putting off for way too damn long.
Pick up your pencils, pens, brushes, instruments, etc.
Come back. Thrive.
Live.
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| it doesn't matter |
[03 May 2004|11:09pm] |
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I left the world for moments at a time, went deep inward, into the war.
I literally had to slap myself hard across the face to keep myself focussed, to stop all those messages in my head.
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| Awesome Night! |
[10 Apr 2004|11:23pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
] |
Psst!
I'M IN A GOOD MOOD!!!!!
I love everything!
I just had Olive Garden. Not my favorite dish, but delicious.
The waiter Joshua must get some credit for my very good mood.
Hey! Adam's making a website about his band! Very cool!
Hey! Olive is putting some comic stuff up! I can't wait to see!
Thank you for tonight, Tyler. I needed to get out and I couldn't have had a better time.
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| Goodie |
[10 Apr 2004|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
I think before that point, I will realize that everyone but Jennifer Aniston is left, and I will make an army of clones.
Whenever I hate myself for killing off the human race, I will kill off one of my clones.
Guilt consumes all.
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| I don't often wish, but... |
[09 Apr 2004|11:20pm] |
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mood |
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hopeless, self-hating |
] |
I wish I didn't exist.
From my heart, I wish that I did not exist.
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| Fucked-Up |
[09 Apr 2004|01:18am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
It's one of those moments when I can almost understand why people numb themselves with drugs, alcohol, and reality-altering activities/substances.
The tip of the knife was cold against me at first, but as it started to warm, and as I started to trust it, I forgot it was there.
And then it lifted, and I made a bitter remark and, without letting me explain myself, the knife stabbed into me, and twisted.
And I am to expect this again and again and again.
Because I am who I am. Because I expect too much. Because I made that damned knife.
Tyler... I wish I could touch your face right now. It would be nice if you were here brushing my tears away, and weaving into my mind the fantasy that I'm not a bad person, even though it doesn't matter because supposedly you are the only friend I need. You'd point out potential areas to work on, and you'd make sure that, above all things, I knew you will always be there for me.
It just isn't that simple.
In normal, teenage terms: I feel like such a fuck-up.
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| The 'Fuck It' Attitude |
[07 Apr 2004|12:39am] |
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mood |
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whatever |
] |
Impulsive entry to let you know
a) nothing's new
b) I'm not doing jack shit
c) I have little intention/drive to do anything
I saw faith today. It made a splat on my windshield when I was speeding a hundred mph, and I pissed off a motorcyclist by flicking him with dirty water while cleaning it.
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| Not Faceless |
[01 Apr 2004|11:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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pissed off |
] |
Am I just somebody to talk at?
Just some expendible thing that's there?!
Go talk to someone else.
I am worth too much to just sit around and act like a brick until you decide it's a convenient time for you to go off and do something else.
I know I have friends who care, and I'm grateful for them.
But I can't take just being someone who's just there.
I have attributes that can be either especially appreciated or downright hated.
If you don't appreciate me, then why the FUCK are you sticking around?!
Go buy a fucking hamster.
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| Panda <3 Bamboo |
[28 Mar 2004|03:51am] |
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mood |
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anti-working |
] |
It's Sunday.
This means my spring break is over.
I should have spent these late Saturday hours doing school work, but no. Instead, I decide to draw a panda smoking a bamboo shoot.
Doubleyu tee ephf.
So those of you who wanted an update on my website to be completed in my break, I shrug at you, and feed you this mere sketch.
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| Catharsis |
[17 Mar 2004|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
(Insert rant on catharsis.)
Look it up.
No, put down the dictionary.
Aristotle. Poetics.
What does it MEAN? What do you think it means?
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| Zoloft? |
[14 Mar 2004|09:51pm] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
] |
Technically, I could get therapy.
No, wait, therapy's a crutch, and a scam to get money.
Besides, I'm not..... that.... bad... all the time... <.<
( Read more... )
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| Stance |
[01 Mar 2004|06:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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working |
] |
Everything is malleable and only predictable if you make it so.
That is, of course, arguable.
Little is safe and sacred these days, but I have found my shelter, and it's hard to see anything else as being something more than temporary.
Temporary, however, does not mean unimportant.
And memories can live for eternity.
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[15 Feb 2004|03:55pm] |
no will to stop
no will to continue
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| Jollibee |
[15 Feb 2004|02:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
Hey, Tyler. I think I finally have down the explaination of the scent of Jollibee:
Imagine the smells of KFC, plus the steam of rice, plus the grease of burgers, hot dogs, and sausages, plus PINEAPPLE, plus the smell of carsickness----- imagine this potpourri settled into a car for five years, permeating the fabric seats, coating the air filtration system- with the final touch of an air freshner that smells like FRUITY PEBBLES.
I need the voice of Gilbert Godfrey here to say: "What the FUCK?!"
http://www.jollibee.com.ph/default.htm
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