| no one survives life |
[12 May 2004|01:01am] |
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my aunt is dying. her sister asked the doctor today, point blank, "will this kill her?," meaning the cancer in her liver. the doctor said yes. he says what they all say: no one knows how long it will take, it could be a year or it could be five years. but it will kill her.
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[27 Jan 2004|09:49pm] |
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wow, there are some very odd oscar nominees this time around. not odd in a bad way, but really, really unusual in an awesome way. much fewer celebrity types and more independents, which is always a good thing. should make for an interesting award show, i think.
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[22 Jan 2004|05:08pm] |
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i just now realized i've been updating with a christmas-y icon, so i thought i should change it. the little peanuts x-mas tree was so cute i wanted to keep it, but it seemed a bit outdated. i also changed my color scheme a bit, if anyone's interested.
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[14 Jan 2004|10:58pm] |
i forgot to mention that i received diane arbus' book entitled revelations for my x-mas present. it wasn't much of a surprise: i bought it myself when i was in b&n; with my dad. now, though, i'm feeling guilty for even purchasing it because it's far too expensive (well--$100, but we managed about $80 for it after various store discounts). i might return it because it's not like i need the book or anything. i am enamoured of the beautiful photos, though. i especially like images of movie theaters, like the photograph below.
diane arbus, 42nd Street movie theater audience, N.Y.C. 1958
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| lifted |
[18 Dec 2003|04:42am] |
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i, i, i, i, am going insane. would you care to join me?
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| and by the way, i'm not doing something cheesy like seeing a career counselor. no way. |
[10 Dec 2003|01:30am] |
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someone needs to sit me down and tell me what to do with my life. seriously. i'm open to suggestions from anyone. i need help. and as for graduate school smadulate ghool, i have no idea what i'm doing. i really don't want to start at some school next fall when i really have no idea what i want to do. it seems like a waste of time and money when you don't have a set goal in mind. so, i need help. NOW.
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| compiling a christmas list because my parents keep asking about it |
[06 Dec 2003|08:23pm] |
CD's
-Neutral Milk Hotel: In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
-Neutral Milk Hotel: On Avery Island
-Azure Ray: Hold On Love
-Rilo Kiley: Execution of All Things
-Rilo Kiley: Take-offs and Landings
Books
-Blankets by Craig Thompson
Other
-Sunshine Buddies thing-a-ma-jig @
http://www.toysnjoys.com/sunshinebuddies.html
more to come laters...
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| now that you're gone, the world is a much better place |
[06 Dec 2003|03:24pm] |
i feel incredibly sluggish, which is highly unusual because i've been sleeping almost all hours the last few days. i'm also falling more and more in love with louise glück's poetry. i think the following poem is the one i most connect with out of her entire poetry collection:
The Untrustworthy Speaker
Don't listen to me; my heart's been broken.
I don't see anything objectively.
I know myself; I've learned to hear like a psychiatrist.
When I speak passionately,
That's when I'm least to be trusted.
It's very sad, really: all my life I've been praised
For my intelligence, my powers of language, of insight-
In the end they're wasted-
I never see myself.
Standing on the front steps.
Holding my sisters hand.
That's why I can't account
For the bruises on her arm where the sleeve ends . . .
In my own mind, I'm invisible: that's why I'm dangerous.
People like me, who seem selfless.
We're the cripples, the liars:
We're the ones who should be factored out
In the interest of truth.
When I'm quiet, that's when the truth emerges.
A clear sky, the clouds like white fibers.
Underneath, a little gray house.
The azaleas
Red and bright pink.
If you want the truth, you have to close yourself
To the older sister, block her out:
When a living thing is hurt like that
In its deepest workings,
All function is altered.
That's why I'm not to be trusted.
Because a wound to the heart
Is also a wound to the mind.
Louise Glück
i wish i could write like that: so beautifully and honestly. but most of the time, i sound like a buffoon, blubbering along with not much to say and even less to do.
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[01 Dec 2003|06:18pm] |
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i don't think i even have a journal anymore. i update this thing so rarely. if you want to read whatever i do have written, just ask, and i'll add you to my friend's list. no problem.
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