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Thursday, May 30th, 2002
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10:46 am
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Peekabo.
I'm over HERE now. Baja is over, I've gone on to Kazzu. Come visit me.
xox. Goodbye Baja, I will miss you. You were my best growing year yet.
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| Wednesday, May 29th, 2002
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3:19 pm
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I've spent the past two hours typing in usernames for my journal and nothing is available. I really really wanted bonsai. Muh.
I feel like winnie the pooh. thinkthinkthink. (scratches head)
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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12:22 am
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Kids, you left me over 270 entries to read while I was gone. I started reading each & every one but then found myself merely skimming everyone's but Kimberly's. This wasn't the plan, it just happened that way.
Still pondering the whole new journal thing. Once a name strikes me I'll probably go there.
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| Tuesday, May 28th, 2002
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11:52 pm
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Jen & I feeding a bear peppermints at the zoo. Some kid had a digital camera and took these for us.
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10:50 pm
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Honey, I'm home!
& what a beautiful 5 days it has been.
I stepped off the boat and into the terminal and saw Jen walking through the doors all sunglasses & tanned and ran to her for hugs. The entire trip was amazing. Friday we went to see Spider Man then went back to her house & got all dressed up. We went to this club called the Top Hat which was beyond hilarious because we were about half of the age of most everyone there. We were quite a scene, all glammed up strutting through this bar full of 40 year old men. We owned the dance floor though! We came home, wrote in the drunk journal and went to bed. Saturday we sat outside on her deck for most of the day; it was H-O-T. We made a GIANT postcard for Guster (It was 3-4 ft. long) which was absolutely hilarious. We spent about 3 hours working on it. Meanwhile, my back was frying in the sun, and is now COMPLETELY red except for where my bathing suit (or babe-in-suit, as Jen calls it) straps were. Ouch. We stayed in that night & watched Bring it On. Sunday was a pretty mellow day, mostly just hung out around the house. We ate icecream for supper then went for a run - baaaad idea. I ran 1.5km and felt like I was going to be sick so I walked for most of the way back. Jen's training for her marathon so I felt like quite a knob only being able to run 1.5km when she's running 26km or so. Monday we got up & layed outside again (with my back covered this time, as it was really hard to even sleep for the few days after getting that burn). It was a Trading Spaces Marathon, which was pure BLISS for the two of us, and somehow, even though we did go out & do things that day, we managed to watch 7 episodes of it. That's 7 hours of television, kids. We were both disgusted and impressed with ourselves. We went to the zoo that night which was really fun. We fed a bear pink peppermints (the zookeeper told us too) and I took awesome pictures of Jen kissing a camel and chasing a peacock. Can't wait to get them back.
Today we hung out for the morning, then got ready & went to get our giant Guster Postcard laminated & then took it to the postoffice. It cost us $9 to send it, due to it's size, but we didn't care - we spent the time making it, we were definitely going to send it, no matter what it cost. After that we went to Subway & then it was just about time to leave for the boat.
Jen walked me into the terminal & we hugged long & tight and I mumbled "Now I have to start missing you all over again" and we just stood there hugging mumbling comments back & forth: "Thanks for everything, Jen" "I'm going to miss you so much..." "I had SO much fun!". We got a lady to take a picture for us. She looked hesitent at first but then said "Well, this looks like a special moment" and commented on how "precious" it was as we stood there hugging for the picture. We hugged about 3 more times and then kinda waved and said goodbye. Now I am home and feel so refreshed though I miss her already. Most of our pictures are just of ONE of us at a time... it was lots of just her&I; time, so it was like "here, i'll take a picture of you". I can't wait to get them back.
It was so nice to laugh like that again. Bellylaugh. Thanks to The Simpsons we spent the weekend calling her Hooty McBoob, Chesty La Rue, and Busty St. Claire. Bah hah!
I have a wonderful best friend.
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| Friday, May 24th, 2002
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12:40 am
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In about 14 hours I will get to see Jen. Our plans are definitely working out this time. I cannot believe it. I am so, so excited. Today has been a good day. When I arrived back from Fredericton, I checked the mail, and inside was a cheque from my Dad ($200 - thank youuuuuu Daddy!) to help pay for my trip, and another envelope for me. Across the top, it read:
Guster Fanclub Headquarters Inc.
c/o Kate McLean
I laughed SO hard and knew it was from Jen as soon as I saw the printing on the front. Inside was an awesome card, all pink&red;&orange; with a "dancing diva" on the front. The entire thing had me laughing out loud by myself. She had sent it from Toronto. She bought a new shirt; it says "Forty and Sporty" on the front. What a dork. I can't believe I see her tomorrow.
I should go to bed, now, though. Lots of travelling tomorrow, including a 3 hour ride on a boat - eep. Goodnight. xo.
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| Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
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5:02 pm
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Holy human rollercoaster.
My trip has been cancelled & put back on again & cancelled & changed & put back on again. Dear lord, I was about to have a breakdown. I was soSAD last night.
I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm back from Fredericton. Everything was wonderful, my sister's graduation was long, but nice, and dinner was EXCELLENT and lots of fun. I was too tired to party afterwards for very long. I drank half a beer and then realized that I would have to go home soon because I was too tired to keep up with everyone. So I opted to not drink any more that night so I could drive myself home and go to bed. And that's what I did. All in all, nice time.
Except when Sue called me at my sister's house, on our way out the door, and said "Bad news. Jen can't come". My heart sank all the way to my toes and I was justsoupset. In my inbox sat an e-mail sent from "the ultimate" with the subject reading "oh no":
..........
"hi kate and sue. i am writing this as the bearer of bad news, and i hate it. i went from super excited to completely deflated, and i don't like that i'm going to make you feel bad right now...
...i guess my mom still thinks that my sister needs a babysitter, so i can't go. she says that she will 'worry too much about laura being left alone' and i got a big speech about how i'm so selfish for making plans without taking them into consideration, blah blah blah. i'm so upset with them right now that i don't even know what to do with myself. i want to be understanding to mom, but i don't understand her at all right now. she's been super-worried about us ALL THE TIME since all the dad stuff, and at first i could understand, but i wish she would friggin' ease up because it's getting ridiculous. so as it stands right now, i have been guilt-tripped as much as anyone can be. it has come down to the 'well, you can go if you want, but just know that you're going to ruin my time away in truro because i'll be worrying so much. i might not even go.' so that is what i am dealing with. i know that it's ridiculous and i am so frustrated that i could spit...
...anyway, i'm really sorry your guys. i feel awful, and so very upset. i don't understand my family's reasoning and it makes it all the more difficult. it is going to be very tense here for the next few days. sigh. i love you guys lots, and wish that this hadn't have happened. or that my family wasn't so lame-o. i will talk to you tonight. i miss you a bunch, love jen c"
..........
I called her first thing this morning, around 9:30 or so and told her I would still come to her house, that the bus was $130 but I was willing to pay it to come see her. She was ECSTATIC but told me not to waste that much on a bus, that she was pretty sure after the episode she had with her family, that they would let her take the car to come get me in Digby. So I just have to take the boat over, which is $70 return. So we were super excited and even though Sue is not coming, we will have an absolutely AMAZING time. Wheeee! As Jen said this morning "I went from completely ELATED to completely DEFLATED within a matter of minutes". So, as it stands right now, the trip is still on, and I will be spending a few days at Jen's. "How long can you stay? I dont start work until the middle of June, so you can stay until whenever!". So I leave tomorrow and I am not sure when I will be back. I'm planning on staying as long as I possibly can. Tomorrow at 3:30pm, I will be standing in a parking lot hugging & squealing & dancing around with my best friend.
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| Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
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9:17 am
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Are you ever in one of those moods where you just dial every phone number you know because you just want to talk to someone? Not necessarily that you need to talk to someone about SOMETHING, but just feel the need to have someone on the other end of the line to keep you company? That was me last night. And it's so funny what people do for my moods, it's absolutely unreal.
I called my sister, Veronica, and Connie (the latter two weren't home) then talked for a couple of hours to Jen and Sue. As soon as I hung up the phone, I was like "Doop dee dooo... who can I call now?" and dialed Connie's number. She never wakes up to the phone, but last night she forgot to turn off the ringer and just as I thought the answering machine was picking up, I got a very sleepy "hello?" on the other end. I apologized profusely and asked if she wanted me to let her go back to bed, but she said no. We ended up talking for over 2 and half hours, and finally hung up at around 2:45am. (um, so much for me going to bed at 8:30, huh?). It was absolutely wonderful, and I apologized about 7 times for waking her up. "That's okay," she said, "it was a happy way to wake up!". So it was a very happy way to go to sleep.
Now I have to get ready to go to Fredericton. I need to try to manage a load of laundry before I go, but time is ticking! Eep. Goodbye, have a good couple of days. xx.
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| Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
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11:44 pm
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Regarding the whole new journal thang...
"Perhaps, you could end your journal at
Baja, when you come back from visiting
Jen(&Sue;?) and start a new one, with
the summer ahead. Or you could end Baja,
before you leave, and start a new
journal, reflecting upon happy times
with Jen(&Sue;?). Because either way,
you end and/or start with happy memories."
- praha
I think that is a very good idea.
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11:28 pm
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YESSSSSSSSSSS.
Oh my. I think our plans are actually working out. Sue the POO who wasn't going to come is now a part of this plan. Jen and I had a wonderful chat tonight, and part of it was Sue venting, we talked about how we were upset that she didn't seem to be putting forth much effort and things like that, and she said something like "I just feel like I'm having so much more quality bonding time with you than I am with Sue. Like, honestly, when I was in Toronto this weekend I was bopping around the city wondering what I should get for you, and it wasn't until I came back that I was like 'Oh yeah, Sue!'" Anyway, so we got out all of our aggrivations, and then we found out that Wide Mouth Mason would also be playing in Sue's town... so we immediately three-wayed her, and proposed our plan, and this is what we came up with:
Thursday night I take the boat over to Digby. It leaves at around 11pm, and it gets to Digby around 2am. Meanwhile, Jen takes the boat from her home to Digby, arriving at 10:45pm. She sits & waits for me, and then Sue drives the hour to come pick us up! We then drive to Sue's house for the weekend.
EEEEEEP.
As excited as I am, I don't think it has really sunk in that I will see them in 50 hours. I just cannot believe our plan is working out. I miss them SOMUCH.
So Thursday will be a BUSY day. I am going to Fredericton for my sister's graduation tomorrow, staying overnight, and coming back home on Thursday afternoon. A few hours later, I am on the boat on my way to Sue's house. Holy friggin crap.
Do you ever get so excited about something that when you try to type it it just doesn't work? Your fingers go way too fast and your mind is just bubbling over with excitement and the whole thing just comes out in capital letters and exclamation points?! That is where I am right now. AJFKLWERUEW(RU(%UEWIRU!!!!!
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9:06 pm
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So, I realized after I called everybody I know that I'm in sort of a "give me attention, give me love" sort of mood. I think I will eat something bad for me - i'm really tempted to make cookie dough - and wait for someone to call me. I want Jen to call me. I miss laughing as hard as I do when I talk to her.
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6:24 pm
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It's been a long day.
Not fully in a bad way. It's actually been quite a good day. It's just one of those rushrushRUSH days when you need to breath and just can't until things get finished. I was running late but picked Chris up this morning and headed to town. We drove all around the city and I handed out about 15 resumes so dear GOD please let somebody hire me. I was driving through this intersection thing which is apparently one of THE hardest places to drive, and I have never driven there before and there was heavy traffic, so I'm nervous enough as it is. Then, out of NOWHERE comes this freak halestorm. Seriously - people running down the streets covering their heads, ice bouncing off the pavement hardhard everywhere & I could barely see. But I made it through. Ahhh. I found my way safely back uptown and parked in a parking garage and oops - I lock the keys in the car. I freak out and Chris is laughing but a neighbor drove in the extra set of keys, thank god. 30 minute drive, mind you, but they did it and we were able to get back in the car.
Time with Chris was nice though. We went to the market and ate lunch there, and sitting on stools at a small table he looked around and said "I feel like i'm on a dating story or something" and as I glanced around it did look like the perfect Dating Story setting and we were at that point engaged in some awkward and pointless conversation about nothing, but it was because we were tired, I think, mostly. Sometimes I wish I liked Chris, because we get along so well, but other times I realize that it's CHRIS and I could never like him like that. We're just two bitter (yet whacky) people who like to blast Madonna's "Like a Prayer" when we got lost in the ghetto. He's a fun boy. And it was fun spending time with him today, so that made me happy.
I had an interview for a job I didn't apply for and only half want and so I wasn't super enthused. And I got my marks back today, and was both and happy & disappointed. I don't really know. I got my 3.0, which is what I wanted, but I got a C- in Ritual Studies which blows my mind. I had a hard time attending that class, so perhaps that's where it all went wrong. Overall, not too bad.
And Jen e-mailed me, she is back from Toronto which makes me incredibly happy and we are now 3 DAYS away from seeing each other. EEEEEEP.
This entry is horrible - so choppy and badly written. I apologize. More later, or something.
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| Monday, May 20th, 2002
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7:13 pm
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So, I was thinking.
& I think I will get a new livejournal, probably, but not tonight. Not today. This is not the day I want to start over with. I never really talk about this here, and I'm not sure why, but mom has breakdowns just about daily these days, and has spent the past 3 or 4 hours upstairs in her room crying & I just don't... I don't want this to be the feeling I go into a new journal with. I want it to be one of those happy days.
But, a lot of you think a new journal is the way to go. And I will miss Baja... it captured my entire second year of university. But it is time for a change. Later in the week.
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3:43 pm
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Bah.
I was going to create a poll, but only paid users can do that, I see.
So. Should I:
1. Keep Baja and continue on as is.
OR
2. Get a new journal (still with LJ, don't worry, kids) and start fresh for summer.
I can't make up my mind.
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3:06 pm
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I'm sort of thinking of starting over.
I can only take a journal so far before I feel the need to have something new. I think it's sort of when I start to bore myself, when my entries become repetative and full of nothingness. If this were a real book I would rip out the pages and stare happily at blank pages.
I know you probably get annoyed with trying to follow journals that move around a lot. And I do love baja, but. I think the summertime calls for a change. I'm wearing pink today and I went to get icecream and I am just in that sort of mood. I'll think. And maybe later today I will leave baja & appear somewhere else.
Hm.
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11:37 am
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The house is oh-so-quiet, little sister sleeping a few rooms away and I am torn between dancing and sleeping. These eyes of mine are using everything they've got just to stay open but my mind keeps drifting to being with Jen this weekend and it all just makes me want to dance. I can't begin to tell you what this is going to be like. Seeing her & HUGS & oh the hugs and screams and squeals. Dancing madly wearing our matching geekshirts. Laying on beds and petting the top of each other's heads (there is something so. very. calming about it) and the pure wowness of it all makes me want to SCREAM (!) I am so beyond excited. Mm, just a few more days.
We haven't even reached the PM yet, and I feel like I'm done for the day. Sears was closed & so no new underpants for Great Auntie Bernadine. She had a great big "Happy Birthday" sign on her door and it makes me both happy and sad to see she thinks she's still living at home, in her apartment. At least she won't miss it. But she told me if I'm ever in the city I can stay with her. Looking around her room in the senior's complex I wanted to cry with her generosity and her unawareness of where she is. "They brought me that Happy Birthday sign today, and I think it's a sign from God that's telling me this will be my last one".
I think I will go get icecream today. It just feels like one of those pretend i'm young again get a bigfaticecreamcone kind of days.
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8:36 am
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I am TIRED.
I've already been up for over an hour and we're leaving in half an hour or so to go to Sears so we can "buy some underpants for Bernadine" says Grammie. Oh joy! I fear I may just close my eyes and drift... drift off... and Oh! Look at my car, smashed in the ditch. I'd so much rather be in bed this morning.
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12:15 am
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Sue gave me lots of rambly excuses as to why she probably isn't coming this weekend. I'm sort of... irked. I miss her & want to see her but this didn't exactly make me feel like she really wants to see me. But. Anyhow. She was also supposed to be my drive from Digby to Jen's house. I'm taking the fairie to Digby, and then it's another hour drive to Jen's. So now that there is no one to pick me up on the otherside... i'm not sure what i'll do. But I am going, dammit. Sue was like "Well, I can still pick you up in Digby, if you want to come to MY house... I just can't go to Jen's". I told her that I'm going to Jen's and dammit it's going to be the best weekend ever.
We might still be able to talk her into it. She's one of those people who is always "well, I start work the next week, and maybe he might call me in to volunteer on the weekend, and Dad doesn't like to let me have the car short notice, and I don't have much money". The volunteer/job thing is all in her head. And as far as short notice, we've been planning this for weeks, she just didn't ask him until now. Grr.
I'm disappointed and not. Being with Jen will be awesome. AWESOME. I am just as excited to have it just me & Jen time. I'm just bothered that Sue is making up excuses not to come. Blah.
Doritos & Mary Kate and Ashely-athon & Survivor and diet7up made for a happy night though. But right now I am TOO TIRED for words.
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| Sunday, May 19th, 2002
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8:13 pm
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I couldn't fall asleep until after 5am last night/this morning. I had to get up at 6:30 so this wasn't very fun. We set up a table in at a big flee market in town & I managed to get $25 for my efforts, so it was well worth it. I'm too nice for that business, though. Little girls come by and I can see the few quarters in their hands as they look at me and ask how much something costs. "For you, 25 cents", I say, and they walk away with their new prize possession.
I feel worn out. Today as I was trying to fit in when I would get to sleep, and saw my mother looking at me with concern, I stopped and said "Wow, this feels like i'm back at school. Scheduling in my sleep." Tomorrow is another day with Grammie, driving her here & there & everywhere. Bright & early, 8am. It's Great Auntie Bernadine's birthday (90th... heavens) and Mom is at work so it's more quality time with Grammie and I. Tuesday should be fun, but busy. Chris and I are driving all over the city applying at every possible resteraunt, then I have an interview at 4:30 for a daycamp that I didn't apply for. Then I have to pick Mom up from work & the night will be spent getting ready for Wednesday. Wednesday very early we head to Fredericton to go to my sister's graduation from university. The graduation itself will be painfully long but dinner & drinks afterwards should be fun. We stay the night there and drive back the next day. And Friday is when I leave for Jen's house. EEP. I get my best friend back in 5 days. I must call Sue & see if she's coming.
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| Saturday, May 18th, 2002
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11:04 pm
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I saw a woman in the grocery store who looked like Connie. BlondeBlonde and I got excited until I came closer and realized it wasn't her. She must've thought I was odd, looking at her like that. I wish it would have been her. Dropping my groceries all over the place and running for hugs. Would've made my day.
Trading Spaces was excellent, as usual, and now I think I am off to bed. We're bringing a big load of stuff to a flee market tomorrow - hopefully i'll make some quick cash - and we have to be there at 7:30am. So, I will undoubtedly be a very tired girl.
I am finally getting my scanner back this week. My sister's boyfriend had borrowed it for a while. My lack of digital camera forces me to lay myself on a scanner 40 times a day and see what comes out. I'm looking forward to doing that again.
If you want a mindless but awesomely fun dance around and be a fool and let your inner teenybopper shine kind of song to listen to, I highly suggest Frontin' On Me by Velvet Empire. There's something about it that makes me want to Dance! Dance! DANCE!
And now I must sleep! Sleep! SLEEP!
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