User Information
Below is user information for beth isa ewok. If you are this user, you can edit your information (or choose what information is considered public) at the Edit Info page.

User:	bethica (221814)
Name:	beth isa ewok
Website:	Princess Bethica
Location:	Portsmouth, Virginia, United States
Birthdate:	1984-03-31
Bio:	Princess Bethica a island tiki goddess was born in 1902 and 1917 on a fresh October morning in early May. she died in 1941 after a long battle with a weasel. Her father was a man, her mother, a woman. The rest of her history was not as well documentated. The only child and youngest of 5 brothers and sisters she created her own fun while her father worked nights as Jack The Ripper and her mother worked as an out-of-work whore. Securing her first job at age 12 she was promptly fired as a result of Australia. Depressed, she turned to the bottle, and 5 years later began drinking it. When the Great War broke out she was a-okay except for when she was shot in the head and died instantly. she survived the bloody battle before she underwent emergency surgery to remove what was thought to be a plastic goat from her left intestine. It turned out infact to be an evil looking Lego Man who had been slumming in her innerds since the invention of George Washington. She was given dishonerable discharge from the army, to which she promplty cleaned off her bed sheets, bottled them up and returned it to Christopher Columbo. Quitting the army on creative grounds, she argued with the Sergeant over who really was Cartman's father, he was threatened that he would get a Fakian(Megablok Lego Men) in the mail. Returning to her native land and loyal home town of Virginia, she was greeted warmly by a rabid and foaming lynch mob and forced out. She immediatly began work making her own nation in which she titled Elvis-La-Beatle-Ton. soon after the opening of the local mall, angry townspeople tore beths new nation to shreads calling it "old and not popular" she settled to the town of Nose; population: deceased, and began her political career as shoe shine boy moving onwards, upwards, and outwards to the office of president in a matter of minutes. Her first proposal was the legalisation of flared trousers, making her a hero in the ardent underground hippy movement (She was now living with her boyfriend , a one jim morrison and hanging out with a "bad crowd" including John lennon(ex boyfriend of beths),janis joplin(exgirlfriend of beths), mick jagger(also a exboyfriend of beths)and of course all the ramones who she currently resides with)anyway the hippie movment was not popular with Miss Archer of 3204 WestWood Cres. This confrontation led to the mysterious death of the local freak who looked like a potato. An investigation was made after witnesses reported seeing Bethy roaming the streets late at night craving for starch. The investigation was never finished as Beth'ums mysteriously skipped town with her deep frier. After failing as a practicing lesbian, she took up residence on a pile of rocks in the middle of Colman Nursery, and made her living as a reincarnated taco.This brought her to the attention of a short man by the name of Tojo who contracted her to deliver a fleet of B-52 bombers to the Hawaiian port of Pearl Harbor. She declined because the task would cut into her milk and cookie time every afternoon at 4pm .Not much was heard of her for many years until she went storming into the local police station, one fine and stormy afternoon, she broke down and confessed to the brutal stabbing murder of Steve from Blues Clues. She said it was because of his nagging happiness. She was released after it was discovered Steve would die of AIDS but not for another 10 years. Arriving in New York and instantly struck down by Small-Pox, she was somewhat relieved when the employer in the sweat shop she worked in revealed it was not small pox but pen marks Beth had placed there herself to get out of work. Her meeting with bill clinton was a chance one, one that would not have happened if the bottom hadn't fallen out of the White Slave Trade Market of '88. bill had a sucessful job as a freelance streaker, whose work had been required for everything from football matches to tupperware parties to puff'n'stuff hotdog eating contests.Unfortunetly the buisness went downhill with the Great Streaking Festival earlier in the year which ended in massive riots and the savage beating of Niko the Dog. bill had been doing 90 down the motorway when he was stopped by beth, heavily disguised as a human man, and told that he hadn't a car. he thanked her and at that point noticed that he had also forgotten his legs.Beth offered one of hers but bill declined the offer because beths legs were suffering with gangrene and were missing several toes. Instead they returned to the place where he last saw his legs only to find they had been replaced by those of a 40 year old heavy set black man. not one to fuss, he fitted them on and in the process discovered a winning lottery ticket in the pant's pocket. they now cashed in the lottery ticket and collected ther 40 cents but did not pass go and get a get out of jail free card. In hope to rub off some of the misfortunes of their past, the duo used their new found wealth to change their names. Their new identities of Miss. Winkle-lover and Bob, gave them new freedoms and the right to beat up defenseless Communists. One of these poor guys was a strange 'it' by the name of brittany, although she was the dictator of Cuba, Master of bating, and President of America for 6 days as a result of a head injury. sHe was deported as a direct consequence of trying to con 11 year old Christian Dutch boys to stick their fingers in dykes.After the beating which left him blind in one ear, britany had the duo up for assult with a deadly weapon. The charges were dropped when the weapon turned out to be half a computer and a loaf of itialian bread.Two days later brittany, an all forgiving fellow, invited bill and Beth to her shack high on top the firey peak of Mount Everest. There they were forced to join a band of traveling rejects. Mighty and merry were those days, when they stole from the rich and re-invested in stock options at a high yield portfolio and were able to increase the riches profit margins by 15% in the fiscal year. One of their visits took them to the home of King Kai II, world renound for his dealings of poppyseeds. The holding of conversations with this man was near impossible because he disagreed with everything that was said by everyone, including himself and his wife Andie(she was in it for the seeds no doubt). The King refused to let them leave and kept brittany squashed in a corner for a year while he made noises like a train and painted himself lime-green.In a desperate escape attempt, bil and Beth rescued the frightened jeremy and a special bond was born. bill beth brittany and jeremy(the village idiot) became a crime fighting quartet and called themselves dorks anonymous. life was good. They were infinite.
Interests:	134: alice in wonderland, alphabet, american mcgee's alice, androgynous boys, angelina jolie, beatles, becoming gay, being a lesbian, being italian, big hair, bikini kill, black, blondie, boots, bowser, boys, brat mobile, brian molko, burgan, candles, candy land, charles manson, childrens motrin, chuts and ladders, cibo matto, classic cars, clockwork, clothes, corey feldman, courtney love, cowboy beebop, deborah harry, dewey decmil system, edward scissorhands, elcaminos, elvis costello, emo james, family, fat people, feminist, finger painting, frank zappa, franklin, french fries, friend or foe, friends, gak, gingey- gingerale, girls, good fellas, greasy italians, green tea, grimm brothers, hamtaro, hating artists, hole, invader zim, jack off jill, jack the ripper, jackie brown, jay gordon, jewish people, joes apt., john cusack, johnny depp, johnny the hommicidal maniac, jr. bacon cheese burgers, kevin spacey, koopas, kurt cobain, l7, led zepplin, lenore, lewis carroll, lil emo kids, lil goth kids, live journal, lolita, lunachicks, magnolia, marilyn manson, mario party 3, misfits, mother goose, motorhead, movies, my doggy- nico, my ruin, nirvana, operation, orgy, oswald, pi-3.14, piercings, pink, placebo, porn, princess toadstool, pulp fiction, punk rock, purple, ramones, riot grrrl, robert smith, robots, rollin with the homies, rose mcgowan, scott weiland, sgt. kubuki man, sonic the hedgehog, squee!, stanley kubrick, starbucks, strawberry milkshakes, sublime, super mario, sxe, tatoos, terror firmer, the cars, the cramps, the cure, the doors, the gameshow network, the italian maffia, tim burton, toxic avenger, toys, troma, twister, vanilla sky, waluigi, weezer, wendys
Friends:	23: 1605goddess, bethica, composedsilence, cptbobix, digitalbitch, eastereggsrus, fallxchildren, iceburgan, ilovellamas, industragthchik, inn0cencel0st, kiwispy, loco4string, merfy, oozerooo, pinkfishnets, redsummersun, screminbanshe, sexypopple2004, sinthetic_tears, strangeasanjles, tophat, xemoxalix
Account type:	Free User